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768 pages, Hardcover
First published December 1, 1973
I had not been evacuated to Tashkent in organized fashion, but had made my own way there, getting rides as best I could in passing trains, hoisting myself and my things into the converted freight cars of which they consisted. In all my fleeting encounters with chance companions on this journey I noticed one detail which has a direct bearing on the story I am about to tell, namely that in the space of two months after the beginning of the war, the entire fantastic horde surging east from the Ukraine, Byelorussia, the areas of Russia proper threatened by the German invaders, and everywhere else had completely worn out its footwear. I traveled an unbelievable distance by train and steamer, several times making long detours, getting stranded on islands, passing now through deserts, now through parts lush with vegetation. Once I got stuck in a village near Dzhambul and spent a terrible winter there - I earned my living by carrying heavy loads, like a camel, and felling trees. After this, thanks to Akhmatova, I was able to get to Tashkent. It was not until I arrived there that I saw people with proper shoes again - and they were foreigners.
How ever often he moved to a different town or changed jobs, his "file" always followed and, after a short breathing space, he would be given a new assignment, always on the same lines. Eventually, however, he was overtaken by the fate which so many others had met: he was arrested after being denounced by a colleague. But for him arrest and prison, which normally struck terror into people's hearts, brought only relief. He could now look forward to a clean break with his previous existence, and the prospect of becoming just one among innumerable prisoners in the labor camps. During the first year there he was a happy man, but in the second he suddenly got a shock: he was called in to the camp security officer and ordered to report on the other members of his work team and on those who lived with him in the same barracks.
After thirty years of being summoned to a "private apartment" for questioning and "heart-to-heart" chats, he literally locked himself up in his room where, chainsmoking the strongest possible cigarettes, he sat at his desk, a heavy motionless hulk of a man, and did mechanical calculations just to occupy his mind and forget. The doctors warned him that he was asking for trouble, but this only made him laugh. His legs, gnarled with varicose veins, were like lead weights, but he was deliberately courting a slow death and never moved from his chair, throwing his cigarette butts into a huge ashtray which by evening was piled high with them.
He only left home once or twice a month when, unable to stand it any longer, he went out into the street at dead of night and greedily breathed in the city air. At such late hours he believed he could sally forth without risking an encounter with someone from the "proper quarters'' who might ask him to go and see them again. As long as he kept indoors he could pass for a sick man, and indeed he really was sick. On the phone he told people he was ill and could see no one.