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Endless, Forever
“…that’s the thing. I never had a chance. I was always yours.”
Oliver Sasaki has a comfortable life. Having escaped an oppressive childhood in London, he’s now on the sunny coast of Southern California, working on his graduate degree, and taking care of his younger brother, Leo. He has it all worked out: no dating, no commitments, just fun.
All of that changes one night when he meets Gabriel, the adorable barista who turns his entire world upside down. Finally learning what it means to be in love, Oliver is certain nothing can destroy what he has, certain this is all forever. But when his past comes back to haunt him, Oliver’s life begins to fall apart.
Will love be enough to save Oliver from himself? Or is there no such thing as forever?
Oliver Sasaki has a comfortable life. Having escaped an oppressive childhood in London, he’s now on the sunny coast of Southern California, working on his graduate degree, and taking care of his younger brother, Leo. He has it all worked out: no dating, no commitments, just fun.
All of that changes one night when he meets Gabriel, the adorable barista who turns his entire world upside down. Finally learning what it means to be in love, Oliver is certain nothing can destroy what he has, certain this is all forever. But when his past comes back to haunt him, Oliver’s life begins to fall apart.
Will love be enough to save Oliver from himself? Or is there no such thing as forever?
228 pages, ebook
First published February 20, 2016
72 people are currently reading
490 people want to read
About the author
E.M. Lindsey
143 books1,375 followersE.M. Lindsey is the author of MM contemporary romance. She presently lives and works in the southeastern United States.
EM Lindsey also writes MM Paranormal Romance under the pseudonym Ariel Millar.
EM Lindsey also writes MM Paranormal Romance under the pseudonym Ariel Millar.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 77 reviews
March 21, 2016
My first Transgender book and what a way to start. What a beautiful love story. Throwing the trans, gay, and all the other issues out the window this is a book about finding your true love, fucking up, never getting over them, and then getting your second chance.
If this book doesn't make you believe in true love than nothing ever will. The mc's find each other and fall in love. Throw in a messed up brother and some mommy issues and they break up in a very unsatisfying way basically a "I'm no good for you speech" and that's it. Three years apart they both try to move on but just can't. Circumstances bring them back together and we get our HEA. That is the super generic condensed version of what happens in this book. To truly appreciate it you have to read it. I couldn't put it down. It made me remember the one that got away and left me pining for what could have been but ultimately it's about what's meant to be. The characters truly belonged together and the story of how they get there is worth the read.
If this book doesn't make you believe in true love than nothing ever will. The mc's find each other and fall in love. Throw in a messed up brother and some mommy issues and they break up in a very unsatisfying way basically a "I'm no good for you speech" and that's it. Three years apart they both try to move on but just can't. Circumstances bring them back together and we get our HEA. That is the super generic condensed version of what happens in this book. To truly appreciate it you have to read it. I couldn't put it down. It made me remember the one that got away and left me pining for what could have been but ultimately it's about what's meant to be. The characters truly belonged together and the story of how they get there is worth the read.
November 2, 2024
I feel bad but unfortunately I didn’t liked it as much as I would have loved to…
The start was really good and I was absolutely hooked! I liked the characters and Oliver’s and Leo’s backstory, it’s really heartbreaking.
But I have to say through the book I got more and more just tired of the story, especially since I felt almost nothing for those characters …the whole dynamic between Oliver and Gabe and the constant push and pull between them was really tiring.
I mean I do get that Oliver is traumatized, but he was really horrible to Gabe and in the end I wished that they just would stayed away from each other, because It’s just not working out, even if Oliver goes to therapy and figure shit out for himself.
That’s why I also didn’t really liked the ending…like them getting together again? Nah it wasn’t my thing.
The start was really good and I was absolutely hooked! I liked the characters and Oliver’s and Leo’s backstory, it’s really heartbreaking.
But I have to say through the book I got more and more just tired of the story, especially since I felt almost nothing for those characters …the whole dynamic between Oliver and Gabe and the constant push and pull between them was really tiring.
I mean I do get that Oliver is traumatized, but he was really horrible to Gabe and in the end I wished that they just would stayed away from each other, because It’s just not working out, even if Oliver goes to therapy and figure shit out for himself.
That’s why I also didn’t really liked the ending…like them getting together again? Nah it wasn’t my thing.
February 27, 2016
Great story! I loved it. Only a handful of minor mistakes. The biggest of which is one of the MCs being referred to with a different name at the beginning of Chapter 4. That threw me off.
But other than that I totally enjoyed this great story.
But other than that I totally enjoyed this great story.
April 7, 2023
4 stars
I love E.M. Lindsey and I know that their stories are never easy.
This, especially, isn't the classic mm romance with the usual plot. This is a story of great pain, deep emotions and difficult healing.
Gabriel is a trans man, rejected by his family and adopted by his lovely aunt (unfortunately we never meet her in the book); Gabe has reached a sort of peace with himself: after some bad dates and unpleasant experiences, he knows how to protect himself.
Oliver, instead, is a giant mess: a little cocky outside but overwhelmed inside by terrible memories of dreadful tortures he had to endure because of his extremely religious mother.
Oliver doesn't know how to deal with the rage that still live inside him and snaps at Gabe in several occasions, despite loving him deeply.
I know Oliver was the bad guy during their breakups, his words were mean and he hurt Gabe, but I couldn't avoid to feel sorry for him; it's actually Gabe the one I couldn't be fond of, he was a bit arrogant sometimes and I didn't like at all his decision to let Oliver come back to London by himself, knowing what he would have to face. That part broke my heart because Oliver was truly alone and hopeless.
Sadly, Oliver cannot find in him to go to therapy and their relationship is affected by his unstable mood.
It's difficult to talk about some characters or events without leaving spoilers, I'm just going to say that I liked Sam, but his proposal to date/live together made him desperate, he should have protected himself because his partner clearly wasn't ready for that kind of commitment.
The last part is obviously the best one and I loved the reconnection: there weren't anger, resentment or grudges. There were just two man who suffered a lot, but despite all the pain life threw at them, they were still fond of each other and in some way they had been able to keep their love alive.
My favourite quote:
This review refers to the 3rd edition of this book (release date April 2023); I didn't read the previous ones and I don't know what changed.
I received a copy of this book from Gay Romance Reviews and this is my honest review
I love E.M. Lindsey and I know that their stories are never easy.
This, especially, isn't the classic mm romance with the usual plot. This is a story of great pain, deep emotions and difficult healing.
Gabriel is a trans man, rejected by his family and adopted by his lovely aunt (unfortunately we never meet her in the book); Gabe has reached a sort of peace with himself: after some bad dates and unpleasant experiences, he knows how to protect himself.
Oliver, instead, is a giant mess: a little cocky outside but overwhelmed inside by terrible memories of dreadful tortures he had to endure because of his extremely religious mother.
Oliver doesn't know how to deal with the rage that still live inside him and snaps at Gabe in several occasions, despite loving him deeply.
I know Oliver was the bad guy during their breakups, his words were mean and he hurt Gabe, but I couldn't avoid to feel sorry for him; it's actually Gabe the one I couldn't be fond of, he was a bit arrogant sometimes and I didn't like at all his decision to let Oliver come back to London by himself, knowing what he would have to face. That part broke my heart because Oliver was truly alone and hopeless.
Sadly, Oliver cannot find in him to go to therapy and their relationship is affected by his unstable mood.
It's difficult to talk about some characters or events without leaving spoilers, I'm just going to say that I liked Sam, but his proposal to date/live together made him desperate, he should have protected himself because his partner clearly wasn't ready for that kind of commitment.
The last part is obviously the best one and I loved the reconnection: there weren't anger, resentment or grudges. There were just two man who suffered a lot, but despite all the pain life threw at them, they were still fond of each other and in some way they had been able to keep their love alive.
My favourite quote:
This review refers to the 3rd edition of this book (release date April 2023); I didn't read the previous ones and I don't know what changed.
I received a copy of this book from Gay Romance Reviews and this is my honest review
Want to read
December 11, 2018💝 FREE on Amazon today (12/11/2018)! 💝
Blurb:
“…that’s the thing. I never had a chance. I was always yours.”
Oliver Sasaki has a comfortable life. Having escaped an oppressive childhood in London, he’s now on the sunny coast of Southern California, working on his graduate degree, and taking care of his younger brother, Leo. He has it all worked out: no dating, no commitments, just fun.
All of that changes one night when he meets Gabriel, the adorable barista who turns his entire world upside down. Finally learning what it means to be in love, Oliver is certain nothing can destroy what he has, certain this is all forever. But when his past comes back to haunt him, Oliver’s life begins to fall apart.
Will love be enough to save Oliver from himself? Or is there no such thing as forever?
Blurb:
“…that’s the thing. I never had a chance. I was always yours.”
Oliver Sasaki has a comfortable life. Having escaped an oppressive childhood in London, he’s now on the sunny coast of Southern California, working on his graduate degree, and taking care of his younger brother, Leo. He has it all worked out: no dating, no commitments, just fun.
All of that changes one night when he meets Gabriel, the adorable barista who turns his entire world upside down. Finally learning what it means to be in love, Oliver is certain nothing can destroy what he has, certain this is all forever. But when his past comes back to haunt him, Oliver’s life begins to fall apart.
Will love be enough to save Oliver from himself? Or is there no such thing as forever?
March 17, 2016
The other day I complained about needing to take a break from my TBR because I felt like although the characters and locations changed, I kept reading the same story over and over. When I decided to try this book, I selected it by reading the blurb without bothering to peruse any of the reviews. I had no idea about the journey I was about to begin.
Endless, Forever is not just another typical m/m romance. I had to resist the urge to stop reading so I could research the definitions of the terminology used by the characters to identify where they fall on the human sexuality spectrum. Also, since where there is romance there is also sex, well, let's just say I was surprised by how easy it was for one of the characters to accept certain physical attributes of his partner. I thought I had a grasp on it, but I don't. I'm not as smart as I thought I was; however, I am open-minded and willing to learn. If you don't believe love is love, then it is unlikely you will enjoy this book. I do, and I did!
Endless, Forever is not just another typical m/m romance. I had to resist the urge to stop reading so I could research the definitions of the terminology used by the characters to identify where they fall on the human sexuality spectrum. Also, since where there is romance there is also sex, well, let's just say I was surprised by how easy it was for one of the characters to accept certain physical attributes of his partner. I thought I had a grasp on it, but I don't. I'm not as smart as I thought I was; however, I am open-minded and willing to learn. If you don't believe love is love, then it is unlikely you will enjoy this book. I do, and I did!
September 14, 2019
This was... okay. I really liked the first half of Part I, but then there was just too much self destructive stupidness . I skimmed through most of Part II . Then Part III was a nice wrap up. Sweet and sexy and emotional, but just had a few too many back and forth.
FREE on Kindle 3/18/16
FREE on Kindle 3/18/16
April 18, 2016
2.5 stars. DNF.
100000 stars for visibility (mixed race characters! ace person! trans person! genderqueer person! abuse survivors!), but the plot and pacing were pretty weird and it felt disorienting.
100000 stars for visibility (mixed race characters! ace person! trans person! genderqueer person! abuse survivors!), but the plot and pacing were pretty weird and it felt disorienting.
February 17, 2018
4.5 stars
This book was lovely. It was angsty and painful at times, but as much as the characters broke my heart with some of their actions, it always felt very real and honest and I was sucked in by their love story.
Being told solely from Oliver's POV left a few holes in Gabe's journey, but what I loved about this book was just how little emphasis was placed on him being transgender. Oliver never made it an issue, so it wasn't. This was really just a love story between two people who each had issues but loved each other enough to put the others needs over their own, even when it meant
All in all, I really felt for these guys. They made me run a gamut of emotions and I love that in a book. This story spans about 5-6 years and when the ending came it didn't feel like it was enough, but at the same time it was perfect.
I was still left with some questions but this was one of the best free reads I've read in a long time.
This book was lovely. It was angsty and painful at times, but as much as the characters broke my heart with some of their actions, it always felt very real and honest and I was sucked in by their love story.
Being told solely from Oliver's POV left a few holes in Gabe's journey, but what I loved about this book was just how little emphasis was placed on him being transgender. Oliver never made it an issue, so it wasn't. This was really just a love story between two people who each had issues but loved each other enough to put the others needs over their own, even when it meant
All in all, I really felt for these guys. They made me run a gamut of emotions and I love that in a book. This story spans about 5-6 years and when the ending came it didn't feel like it was enough, but at the same time it was perfect.
I was still left with some questions but this was one of the best free reads I've read in a long time.
February 23, 2024
A Joyfully Jay review.
4 stars
Endless, Forever is an intense, dark story about a man who has suffered greatly and now has to find a way to move forward in his life. It is not always an easy story to read, but as always, Lindsey does such a great job building these characters that the story just drew me in. This book really deals with multiple intertwined elements that come together in one story. We have the romantic and relationship storyline between Gabe and Oliver as a key plot. But Oliver’s individual journey is a strong plot element as well, and often includes his sibling, Leo.
Read Jay’s review in its entirety here.
4 stars
Endless, Forever is an intense, dark story about a man who has suffered greatly and now has to find a way to move forward in his life. It is not always an easy story to read, but as always, Lindsey does such a great job building these characters that the story just drew me in. This book really deals with multiple intertwined elements that come together in one story. We have the romantic and relationship storyline between Gabe and Oliver as a key plot. But Oliver’s individual journey is a strong plot element as well, and often includes his sibling, Leo.
Read Jay’s review in its entirety here.
April 10, 2023
There are books you start reading that you know it will hurt but you can’t stop. This is one of them. And I loved it every step of the way.
The book is all from Oliver’s point of view and it’s not the easiest to be in. He carries a lot of trauma and that impacts all of his relationships including the one with Gabriel.
It starts very sweet but you know that something is coming and it’s heartbreaking to see it happening. You want to stop it but you can’t. Love is sometimes not enough and this book really explores this.
It hurts but it’s so worth it. Incredibly beautiful. 100% recommended.
I have enjoyed many books by this author, and while I always say the mental/disability rep is outstanding, the romance it’s not as good. Well this book proved me thag E.M Lindsey can do romance and do it extremely well.
This is an ARC review from the last version (April 2023), I haven’t read the previous one so I can’t compare.
The book is all from Oliver’s point of view and it’s not the easiest to be in. He carries a lot of trauma and that impacts all of his relationships including the one with Gabriel.
It starts very sweet but you know that something is coming and it’s heartbreaking to see it happening. You want to stop it but you can’t. Love is sometimes not enough and this book really explores this.
It hurts but it’s so worth it. Incredibly beautiful. 100% recommended.
I have enjoyed many books by this author, and while I always say the mental/disability rep is outstanding, the romance it’s not as good. Well this book proved me thag E.M Lindsey can do romance and do it extremely well.
This is an ARC review from the last version (April 2023), I haven’t read the previous one so I can’t compare.
March 23, 2016
I originally acquired my copy as a Kindle freebie a week or so ago, but the current price isn't all that high either so if you're intrigued, I definitely recommend giving this one a shot if you usually like m/m romance as well. It's totally worth it and even more. I was kind of losing faith in books I've downloaded as Kindle freebies, but this one has restored my faith in hidden gems.
The rest of my thoughts on this unexpectedly good book can be found HERE.
dnf
April 16, 2016#DNF 17%
Writing seems all right, but I am just so annoyed already that I'm giving up. Leo is so exaggeratedly self-destructive that it's not believable. Ollie has whiney, martyr syndrome so bad I just want to slap him. Not to mention he's constantly reminding people how rich and posh he is. Gabe (the trans character) is lovely, but he and Ollie were having deep, meaningful, let-me-advise-you-on-you-life conversations and imagining their happily-ever-after within an hour of meeting. The evil religious mother and absent father is an over-used plot device and the whole thing is too schmaltzy, too heavy-handed in it's this-is-more-true-than anything-else-ever. I just can't take any more.
Writing seems all right, but I am just so annoyed already that I'm giving up. Leo is so exaggeratedly self-destructive that it's not believable. Ollie has whiney, martyr syndrome so bad I just want to slap him. Not to mention he's constantly reminding people how rich and posh he is. Gabe (the trans character) is lovely, but he and Ollie were having deep, meaningful, let-me-advise-you-on-you-life conversations and imagining their happily-ever-after within an hour of meeting. The evil religious mother and absent father is an over-used plot device and the whole thing is too schmaltzy, too heavy-handed in it's this-is-more-true-than anything-else-ever. I just can't take any more.
March 5, 2016
The only thing I didn't like about this book was the length. I really don't like really long romance novels. However, the story was still very good. I'm glad the author wrote about FTM character and made it good. Sometimes when romance and/or erotic stories involve transgender characters, they come off as jokes and punchlines. This did not happen in this story. The author obviously researched the heck out of this topic and I have to give them credit for that. I'm glad Leo and Oliver's parents didn't take up the entire storyline. I can't wait to read more by this author.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
March 28, 2016
Fuck me that was beautiful. I can't write an eloquent review that would do it justice. My first transgender, gender fluid read and I couldn't have asked for a better introduction to this genre. All the stars and even though there was plenty of heart break, love trumps all. Just gorgeous, like Gabe.
June 4, 2016
I was going to give this 3 stars, but part III redeem Oliver in my mind. For much of part I of the book, I thought Gabe was too damn good for Oliver. It bothered me how Oliver's behavior could switch on a dime when he drank, turning viciously on Gabe. He had a lot of crap to work through, and I was glad that he finally got a clue and did that in Part II.
April 17, 2023
DNF at 41%
Warnings: From the copyright page of the book: Content warnings: This book contains issues of narcissistic childhood abuse, neglect, gender questioning, transphobia, homophobia, religious based abuse and trauma, drug usage and addiction, drug overdose, addiction recovery, C-PTSD, ableist insults, abuse recovery, and a main character considering cheating.
This book does not contain actual cheating, but it does show a main character engaging in sex with another person who is not the main love interest after their relationship is over. Please take care if this is not your preference.
Please accept my honesty in a DNF review. I stopped reading at about the 41% mark, the start of chapter 11. It's just starting to hit a little too close to home. 2 🌟because it is a stunning book for the right people at the right times in their lives but not for me, not right now.
I really like the characters. The two main characters are twenty-three-year-old Oliver "Ollie" Sasaki and twenty-five-year-old Gabriel "Gabe" Bensaïd. Ollie is an English-Japanese Journalism major, Gabe is an American Creative Writing major. Ollie comes from money old money on both sides and importantly very old money from his mother's landed gentry family. Ollie has trauma from being essentially tortured by his Mother, he has become the self-imposed carer of his younger brother, Leo. Ollie and Gabe meet after Leo gets totally wasted at a club. Their relationship is messy and enjoyable. Gabe is spoilt like the prince he is and Ollie takes space from his brotherly duties and enjoys using his money for someone else. Honestly, I adore them
Their identities are fantastic. Quite a lot of twenty-somethings, if not all of them have queer identities. Ollie is gay, Gabe is trans masc, Leo is genderqueer (referring to himself as alternately genderqueer and a demi-boy) and Leo and Ollie's housemate Coco is asexual. Ollie has a wonderful moment when he directly questions Leo about his identity, not in any aggressive way but in a reassuring way, a checking up way. A way that is just confirming his existing knowledge about his beloved brother, to make sure he is not misgendering or identifying him. There are moments when Gabe's dysphoria clashes with Ollie's PTSD, and I appreciate it as a writing choice.
For some context my brother and I were both subjected to abuse as children primarily at the hands of my father, though nothing near the level of Oliver's torture. My father now has something akin to Parkinson's disease. While I remember very little of the worst of it (my brain's self-defence was to block out my childhood), my brother remembers everything. That experience makes becoming part of his "care team" difficult, how do you see your abuser as a human?
So what do my personal circumstances have to do with my reasons for stopping reading Endless, Forever? It's hitting too close to home. I read the chapter where Ollie and Leo find out that their abusive Mother has Alzheimer's and needs a full-time carer. Their father implies it should be one of them, specifically Ollie, the natural carer of the family. It's too close to home and I'm just not quite prepared to read that. I will likely not come back to it until my father decides to well go.
“I guess we’re both strapping on our grown-up boots, aren’t we? What’s next? Picket fences? Children?”
“Stop talking hetero,” — Oliver and Leo Sasaki
Disclaimer: I received a copy of this book from Gay Romance Reviews, and this is my honest review.
A representative gif:
April 19, 2023
Well I really don’t like putting less than 4 stars. It’s very difficult for me, especially when it’s a brilliant author like this one, with so many wonderful stories. But hey, while I really liked the first part and a little bit the last part of the story, I can’t say the same about the middle. And my two big problems are these: The lack of Gabe’s POV and Ollie’s other relationship. And it’s what I’m going to explain here.
As I said, the first part was very good. The development of the MCs, the traumas, the pain the brothers suffered in the hands of their mother, the transgender (I absolutely loved Gabe), genderfluidity and interracial themes, their relationship and their issues: incredible. Until the separation of the MCs and the reason why they end.
Ollie really needed to face his demons and go to therapy. And for that, he needed to get back to London. (Well, not really, but that’s how the plot put it) And then we got to part 2 and what I didn’t like. Some time passed (almost to much time) and Ollie was still going to therapy and working for his father (who after being absent when he and his brother needed him the most, it occurred to him to show up and impose his rules) when he met Sam.
In the warnings it says that one of the MCs slept with someone else during his separation with the other MC. And it was fine. Ollie believed that his relationship with Gabe was over and that he needed to move on. What it doesn’t say in that warning is that he didn’t just sleep with someone else, he established a WHOLE RELATIONSHIP with that person and for what? To spend almost half the book and the entire relationship with Sam saying that he couldn’t get over Gabe, that no one compared to him, that Sam wasn’t enough to make him forget, etc etc. And when he decided to break up with him, Sam proposed that instead of breaking up, they live together and he accepted? What the heck? If from the beginning you knew that this person was not for you, why leading him on? And for several months? Just as he could left Gabe behind, he should have left Sam. Even easier, because he wasn’t Gabe! And Sam: Where is the self respect? He told you that he didn’t love you, that he loved another and even so you proposed more commitment? NO. NO TO ALL OF THIS. I understand the need to be with another person but not in this way. All this page waste could have been a mention where he told that he tried another relationship but that in the end nothing made him forget Gabe and that’s it. There was no need to read the WHOLE relationship with another person. And instead, to have written about Gabe. It was like Gabe didn’t exist all of a sudden, it was like he was a side character for much of the book and not an MC. We have no idea what happened to him in those 3 years that they were apart. Yeah. THREE. And only at the end of the book, when they met again, only a brief mention of his life. And yet, in those years he had surgery, wrote a book, tried other relationships, etc etc. And it’s not even that when Ollie returned to USA he tried to looking for Gabe. He just worked and worked and tried to live still loving him but no even interested in knowing if Gabe was ok? No, more time passed and if it weren’t for a certain circumstance, they would still be separated. And as soon as they saw each other, they literally told that they still loved each other and that’s all. They got back together. As if they didn’t have to rebuild their relationship and get to know each other again.
In other words, ultimately, this was Ollie and Leo’s book, his brother. Gabe was only the incredible transgender side character who was the “lucky" one to get the real MC of the story
I was given an advanced copy and voluntarily wrote a review.
As I said, the first part was very good. The development of the MCs, the traumas, the pain the brothers suffered in the hands of their mother, the transgender (I absolutely loved Gabe), genderfluidity and interracial themes, their relationship and their issues: incredible. Until the separation of the MCs and the reason why they end.
Ollie really needed to face his demons and go to therapy. And for that, he needed to get back to London. (Well, not really, but that’s how the plot put it) And then we got to part 2 and what I didn’t like. Some time passed (almost to much time) and Ollie was still going to therapy and working for his father (who after being absent when he and his brother needed him the most, it occurred to him to show up and impose his rules) when he met Sam.
In the warnings it says that one of the MCs slept with someone else during his separation with the other MC. And it was fine. Ollie believed that his relationship with Gabe was over and that he needed to move on. What it doesn’t say in that warning is that he didn’t just sleep with someone else, he established a WHOLE RELATIONSHIP with that person and for what? To spend almost half the book and the entire relationship with Sam saying that he couldn’t get over Gabe, that no one compared to him, that Sam wasn’t enough to make him forget, etc etc. And when he decided to break up with him, Sam proposed that instead of breaking up, they live together and he accepted? What the heck? If from the beginning you knew that this person was not for you, why leading him on? And for several months? Just as he could left Gabe behind, he should have left Sam. Even easier, because he wasn’t Gabe! And Sam: Where is the self respect? He told you that he didn’t love you, that he loved another and even so you proposed more commitment? NO. NO TO ALL OF THIS. I understand the need to be with another person but not in this way. All this page waste could have been a mention where he told that he tried another relationship but that in the end nothing made him forget Gabe and that’s it. There was no need to read the WHOLE relationship with another person. And instead, to have written about Gabe. It was like Gabe didn’t exist all of a sudden, it was like he was a side character for much of the book and not an MC. We have no idea what happened to him in those 3 years that they were apart. Yeah. THREE. And only at the end of the book, when they met again, only a brief mention of his life. And yet, in those years he had surgery, wrote a book, tried other relationships, etc etc. And it’s not even that when Ollie returned to USA he tried to looking for Gabe. He just worked and worked and tried to live still loving him but no even interested in knowing if Gabe was ok? No, more time passed and if it weren’t for a certain circumstance, they would still be separated. And as soon as they saw each other, they literally told that they still loved each other and that’s all. They got back together. As if they didn’t have to rebuild their relationship and get to know each other again.
In other words, ultimately, this was Ollie and Leo’s book, his brother. Gabe was only the incredible transgender side character who was the “lucky" one to get the real MC of the story
I was given an advanced copy and voluntarily wrote a review.
April 18, 2023
This review is for the third, 2023 edition - I've never read this story before and do not know what changed between editions.
At its core Endless, Forever is a book about how love/a relationship can be the best thing that has ever happened to you, but if you have not dealt with trauma/Trauma/childhood issues, you will be unable to allow yourself to experience that love fully and return it in a healthy way.
EM Lindsey is one of my top (and favourite) authors for writing about mental health struggles/diagnoses, disability representation, diversity representation, and allowing deeply flawed characters to fall in love, realise that they need to work out their own shit to be the person they want to be in the relationship, and continue to work on themselves while in the relationship. It's never, ever a case of ''his love will be enough'' or ''his love will save me''. It is more a case of ''his love shows me how he sees me, and I want to believe that I am worthy of this love and need to sort myself out''.
Never has this been more true than in Endless, Forever.
Oliver has had MAJOR religious and childhood abuse and trauma, as well as neglect, and while he was able to escape (and save his transgender younger brother) his circumstances, he has never acknowledged or dealt with the fact that he WAS abused and neglected and found a healthy, productive way to come to terms with the trauma and live a happy life despite it.
This is by far the most evocative and realistic depiction I've read in a book of the way that abuse and trauma can implode a person's life. Oliver makes poor decisions while actively knowing that they are poor and will damage those he loves, but he really can't stop himself. He also feels Gabe's love will be his anchor in ensuring that he won't make these poor mistakes again, it will motivate him to be better. But, as anyone who has been in therapy knows, that is not how love works.
Gabe is someone who has a much better idea of who he is and how his acts affect those around him, but he has also had a very, very different childhood with an accepting and loving (if absent) aunt who accepts him for who and what he is. He falls for Oliver while realising that his man, with all his unresolved trauma, will probably break his heart in the end.
I found the
The ending makes this a second chance romance, but it's one of the more mature, and best, second chance romances I've read.
At its core Endless, Forever is a book about how love/a relationship can be the best thing that has ever happened to you, but if you have not dealt with trauma/Trauma/childhood issues, you will be unable to allow yourself to experience that love fully and return it in a healthy way.
EM Lindsey is one of my top (and favourite) authors for writing about mental health struggles/diagnoses, disability representation, diversity representation, and allowing deeply flawed characters to fall in love, realise that they need to work out their own shit to be the person they want to be in the relationship, and continue to work on themselves while in the relationship. It's never, ever a case of ''his love will be enough'' or ''his love will save me''. It is more a case of ''his love shows me how he sees me, and I want to believe that I am worthy of this love and need to sort myself out''.
Never has this been more true than in Endless, Forever.
Oliver has had MAJOR religious and childhood abuse and trauma, as well as neglect, and while he was able to escape (and save his transgender younger brother) his circumstances, he has never acknowledged or dealt with the fact that he WAS abused and neglected and found a healthy, productive way to come to terms with the trauma and live a happy life despite it.
This is by far the most evocative and realistic depiction I've read in a book of the way that abuse and trauma can implode a person's life. Oliver makes poor decisions while actively knowing that they are poor and will damage those he loves, but he really can't stop himself. He also feels Gabe's love will be his anchor in ensuring that he won't make these poor mistakes again, it will motivate him to be better. But, as anyone who has been in therapy knows, that is not how love works.
Gabe is someone who has a much better idea of who he is and how his acts affect those around him, but he has also had a very, very different childhood with an accepting and loving (if absent) aunt who accepts him for who and what he is. He falls for Oliver while realising that his man, with all his unresolved trauma, will probably break his heart in the end.
I found the
The ending makes this a second chance romance, but it's one of the more mature, and best, second chance romances I've read.
April 15, 2023
"Minutes after you left, I forgave you, because what else was I supposed to do? I loved you. I still love you."
I've read quite a few books by EM, and I'm used to high angst, and relationships being built and drawn out before they actually got together. This book was completely different from that, in a good way! It was really nice reading something by EM that separated itself from other books.
In this book we got Oliver's and Gabe's story. A book about trauma, grief, overcoming your past, therapy, and second chances.
I'll explain what I meant when I said above about this being different than other books Em has written.
This book the characters got together almost instantly, they met one another felt a connection and they went from there. And usually, If you've read other books by EM, they usually make the MC's work for their relationship. So I was surprised, but then I was mentally preparing myself for the conflict... And boy was there conflict! There was also growth, and the importance of self help, and the message of you can't live for someone who doesn't want to help themselves. I can relate to Oliver in the way that I have several family members who abuses certain substances and the worrying about them. But there comes a point where you have to realize they are making their own choices. I'm really glad that we saw Leo's growth as a person as well, I'm hoping that maybe he'll get his own story at some point? *Hint, hint*
I despise Leo and Oliver's mom and dad! How could you treat people like that but especially your kids?? That was awful!
Now I'm conflicted about how I feel about Gabe's character. Don't get me wrong I understand Oliver made some mistakes, but Gabe did as well, yet he always put Oliver in the wrong. I still enjoyed Gabe's character and I liked how him and Oliver were as a couple, but it seemed as though he was really quick to blame Olly. Without talking to him first.
Anyway! This story was really well written, very poignant in the topics and I loved how the message pf getting help came through in this story. It wasn't in your face, so to speak, but it was definitely a message that I think is really important for people to hear. It's okay to get help even when it's scary and painful. I am always astounded by EM's writing, they always make people feel seen and they bring important matters to the front lines so eloquently.
The writing once again was terrific, characters were great! The banter was excellent, the plot line was well done. And the conflict... As much as I didn't want there to be any conflict it was needed for the storyline.
I obviously recommend this book.
*I received an early copy of this book and this is my honest review.*
I've read quite a few books by EM, and I'm used to high angst, and relationships being built and drawn out before they actually got together. This book was completely different from that, in a good way! It was really nice reading something by EM that separated itself from other books.
In this book we got Oliver's and Gabe's story. A book about trauma, grief, overcoming your past, therapy, and second chances.
I'll explain what I meant when I said above about this being different than other books Em has written.
This book the characters got together almost instantly, they met one another felt a connection and they went from there. And usually, If you've read other books by EM, they usually make the MC's work for their relationship. So I was surprised, but then I was mentally preparing myself for the conflict... And boy was there conflict! There was also growth, and the importance of self help, and the message of you can't live for someone who doesn't want to help themselves. I can relate to Oliver in the way that I have several family members who abuses certain substances and the worrying about them. But there comes a point where you have to realize they are making their own choices. I'm really glad that we saw Leo's growth as a person as well, I'm hoping that maybe he'll get his own story at some point? *Hint, hint*
I despise Leo and Oliver's mom and dad! How could you treat people like that but especially your kids?? That was awful!
Now I'm conflicted about how I feel about Gabe's character. Don't get me wrong I understand Oliver made some mistakes, but Gabe did as well, yet he always put Oliver in the wrong. I still enjoyed Gabe's character and I liked how him and Oliver were as a couple, but it seemed as though he was really quick to blame Olly. Without talking to him first.
Anyway! This story was really well written, very poignant in the topics and I loved how the message pf getting help came through in this story. It wasn't in your face, so to speak, but it was definitely a message that I think is really important for people to hear. It's okay to get help even when it's scary and painful. I am always astounded by EM's writing, they always make people feel seen and they bring important matters to the front lines so eloquently.
The writing once again was terrific, characters were great! The banter was excellent, the plot line was well done. And the conflict... As much as I didn't want there to be any conflict it was needed for the storyline.
I obviously recommend this book.
*I received an early copy of this book and this is my honest review.*
April 13, 2023
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Sometimes a love story isn’t easy or straightforward. And sometimes now isn’t the right time.
EM always takes us on a journey of emotion, and struggles, but in the end, they also give us an ending that reminds us that everyone is deserving of love and compassion. That our past doesn’t have to dictate our future.
Oliver goes through quite the journey in this story. A boy who went through hell at the hands of his mother. And though he found a way to escape her grip on his and his brother's life, he struggled to find his way through the pain.
He meets Gabriel. A beautifully kind and compassionate man, who shares with Oliver some hope of what a peaceful and love-filled life could look like.
Sadly, those two worlds war with one another. It’s heartbreaking to see how desperately Oliver wants what’s being offered, but can’t quite get there. And Gabriel, has his own self to worry about and protect. He’s kind and patient, but he also won’t sacrifice himself. His own life is a lens that leads to missteps as well. It’s tough. They both love so much, but it falls apart anyways.
I loved the trajectory the story takes, the eventual second chance that happens, well, by chance. It was perfect and necessary, and you can feel how fantastic their lives will be, even with the pain that was caused along the way.
Sometimes a love story isn’t easy or straightforward. And sometimes now isn’t the right time.
EM always takes us on a journey of emotion, and struggles, but in the end, they also give us an ending that reminds us that everyone is deserving of love and compassion. That our past doesn’t have to dictate our future.
Oliver goes through quite the journey in this story. A boy who went through hell at the hands of his mother. And though he found a way to escape her grip on his and his brother's life, he struggled to find his way through the pain.
He meets Gabriel. A beautifully kind and compassionate man, who shares with Oliver some hope of what a peaceful and love-filled life could look like.
Sadly, those two worlds war with one another. It’s heartbreaking to see how desperately Oliver wants what’s being offered, but can’t quite get there. And Gabriel, has his own self to worry about and protect. He’s kind and patient, but he also won’t sacrifice himself. His own life is a lens that leads to missteps as well. It’s tough. They both love so much, but it falls apart anyways.
I loved the trajectory the story takes, the eventual second chance that happens, well, by chance. It was perfect and necessary, and you can feel how fantastic their lives will be, even with the pain that was caused along the way.
April 17, 2023
Oliver and Gabe's story was at times a very difficult read. These two made me ache like I haven't in a long time, and though their love was strong, life's struggles felt even more powerful at points. Gabe in particular had so much of himself tangled up in scars from his past trauma and terrible coping mechanisms that I wasn't sure he would ever be ready for a lasting love, and boy did he put me through the wringer. I wanted to hold onto the joy and positivity of his and Gabe's new connection so badly, but it was hard when everything seemed to be working against them. Oh, the two of them certainly gave their relationship as much as they could, with sweet dates and steamy nights and all the little moments in between. I fell hard for the love Oliver and Gabe shared, and the inner romantic in me was crushed when their separation seemed inevitable. I definitely had moments where I couldn't see a happy ending for this couple, but with time and healing and personal growth, they grew into two people who were finally ready for love. E. M. Lindsey made me wait until the bitter end for any signs of hope, but god was it worth it to finally see the future opening up for these two. I wouldn't say the ending erased the difficult journey Gabe and Oliver experienced, and I wouldn't want it to, but it certainly made me feel warm and content about the path they were on.
**I voluntarily read an ARC of this book. This review expresses my honest thoughts and opinions.
**I voluntarily read an ARC of this book. This review expresses my honest thoughts and opinions.
December 30, 2020
I've never read a book about being Gender Queer or Trans before. Of course I've read stories about LGBTQ relationships mostly Gay or Lesbian. But to dig into the complexities of the characters being not only Gay,but Gender Queer. I thought this story was brilliant and so emotionally thought provoking! Those religious cults who torture children to be there Type of Normal is still going on. Conversion Therapy is it called? Anyway it might as well be concentration camps all over again. Do parents really think disowning or throwing there children to the streets because there not what they want them to be is righteous or even God like? Wow humans can be skm evil unsoulful pieces of dog excrement. This story has transcended stereotypes of what relationships and attraction between two human beings are supposed to be based upon. No one is perfect or not going to make mistakes. But the hurt,hurt others until they learn to live with there trauma and conquer it. I truly believe this author has a spectrum of genius in cohesive plots,storylines,storyline, blurring lines of fact,fiction, truth,and life!
April 8, 2023
No one pulls on my heartstrings like EM Lindsey. This book absolutely shattered me and then put me back together again. Please be aware of any triggers you have. This author is really good about listing them all out for you. I need to go buy a new box of tissues because I may have gone through them all. This book hurts but it is so lovely! It really is worth the read. Ollie is a hot mess, but it isn’t entirely of his own making. He is a product of his terrible childhood environment. Gabe is a total sweetheart but has his own issues and stubbornness. Gabe gets tired of dealing with Ollie’s ways and probably deserves better. Honestly they both deserve better and until Ollie gets some help or works through some things, they are destined to go down in flames. This book is a wonderfully gorgeous example of how someone needs to get help and heal from old wounds before they can have a meaningful and lasting relationship. Are Gabe and Ollie perfect? Absolutely not. But they are perfect together and work for their relationship in the end. That is what matters most.
April 20, 2023
There is so much going on in this book, it's hard to write a review, and not a synopsis. This book cycles through relationship ups and downs, and is quite shocking (to me, at least) in the direction it takes towards the end. Ollie, who has never had a serious relationship, has suffered at the hands of his parents, both physically and mentally. An absentee father, a religious and abusive mother, and caring for a sibling who seems determined to destroy themself have made his life difficult. Gabe comes into it, and everything seems fine, but Ollie hasn't dealt with his trauma, and it interferes with his relationship. Enter more family drama, and Ollie spirals out of control, prompting a breakup. The emotions this book wrung out of my soul was intimidating, and yet, is almost exactly what is expected out of every EM Lindsey book I've read. Their characters are broken, but never beyond repair. I adored this book, and caution other readers to make sure to read the trigger warnings, of which there are several. If you are OK with those, I highly suggest reading this.
April 17, 2023
Where to start with Oliver and Gabriel? What we get in their story is, I think, a contrast between the “love will save me” line of logic (damaging, unrealistic, problematic in all kinds of ways) and “love will help motivate me to save myself” (harder, but much more realistic and rewarding) and that ultimately worked for these characters in ways that didn’t necessarily lessen the angst or the struggle but did offer much needed light at the end of the tunnel, which is exactly what, I think, the story calls for. It’s not always an easy read— there are layers of dysfunction and hurt and trauma and it’s so easy to feel deeply for the characters and yet to understand why things aren’t working. There’s a hard earned HEA here, and lots and lots of character development along the way: again, not an easy read, but a deeply interesting and rewarding one.
*I voluntarily reviewed a complimentary copy of this book.
*I voluntarily reviewed a complimentary copy of this book.
April 25, 2023
Extremely emotional, totally compelling, a tearjerker that I loved
I wasn't sure about this one but I trusted E.M. and I'm very glad I did because it was so worth it. You really have to read this one for yourself.
Oliver and Gabe each had issues that made their lives difficult and they found that love isn't always enough, no matter how badly you want it to be. How many people you have in your corner is irrelevant because only you can seek the help you need. Both men made mistakes in their relationship and neither was perfect but, ultimately, love did win.
This story is deeply emotional, covering some very hard topics, so heed the trigger warnings. If you can, please read this book. It is a story about trauma, family, healing, and lasting love. It is one that elicited tears from me more than once and will stay with me for a long time.
I wasn't sure about this one but I trusted E.M. and I'm very glad I did because it was so worth it. You really have to read this one for yourself.
Oliver and Gabe each had issues that made their lives difficult and they found that love isn't always enough, no matter how badly you want it to be. How many people you have in your corner is irrelevant because only you can seek the help you need. Both men made mistakes in their relationship and neither was perfect but, ultimately, love did win.
This story is deeply emotional, covering some very hard topics, so heed the trigger warnings. If you can, please read this book. It is a story about trauma, family, healing, and lasting love. It is one that elicited tears from me more than once and will stay with me for a long time.
April 19, 2023
Gabe and Ollie ❤️
3 Stars ⭐️
Geez, warn a girl first before you rip her heart out 😭 j/k I love me some extra emotional E.M. Lindsey reads.
I have to be honest here, I adored part I. Part II ruined in what my opinion could have been an epic 5 star read, I hated the fact the Ollie had a whole different relationship, that pretty much ended it for me. I powered through despite my misgivings and made it to the end which I truly enjoyed however I still felt bitterness that took so much away from this story. I'm gonna give this a 50/50 on recommending and it pains me to say this because E.M. Lindsey is one of my favorite authors but sadly this one didn't work for me.
* I received an ARC from GRR, this is my open and honest review *
3 Stars ⭐️
Geez, warn a girl first before you rip her heart out 😭 j/k I love me some extra emotional E.M. Lindsey reads.
I have to be honest here, I adored part I. Part II ruined in what my opinion could have been an epic 5 star read, I hated the fact the Ollie had a whole different relationship, that pretty much ended it for me. I powered through despite my misgivings and made it to the end which I truly enjoyed however I still felt bitterness that took so much away from this story. I'm gonna give this a 50/50 on recommending and it pains me to say this because E.M. Lindsey is one of my favorite authors but sadly this one didn't work for me.
* I received an ARC from GRR, this is my open and honest review *
April 20, 2023
If you are looking for a story that cycles from darkness to light several times, this is definitely a read for you especially in the expert hands of E.M. Lindsey. It's initially wonderful to think that Oliver has gotten himself and his brother away from their mother and might just be ready to open up and build a relationship with Gabriel who has been through tough times as well and from that has learned patience and empathy. However, as in real life, things don't always work out as planned and sometimes the darkness reaches back for you. When that happens here, there's a point where it seems that wanting and loving might not be enough. A sad yet ultimately hopeful story. It's clear that these two won't have a magic life but they are willing to work for one.
April 26, 2023
4.5 stars. This is a gorgeous love story, with the protagonists' characters maturing over time. The mistakes they made with each other was frustrating but felt real (and at least acknowledged so I didn't stay frustrated) and I loved the writing.
The only query I had was how Gabriel could afford to live in L.A. with just a couple of retail jobs, study plus the hormone injections and operation, given he was disowned by his family, but as it was his aunt's place, for the sake of the story I'll just assume she gave him a lot of breaks.
Highly recommend this book, and love this author, have read a few of their books now.
I received a copy of this book from Gay Romance Reviews, and this is my honest review.
The only query I had was how Gabriel could afford to live in L.A. with just a couple of retail jobs, study plus the hormone injections and operation, given he was disowned by his family, but as it was his aunt's place, for the sake of the story I'll just assume she gave him a lot of breaks.
Highly recommend this book, and love this author, have read a few of their books now.
I received a copy of this book from Gay Romance Reviews, and this is my honest review.
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