Recovery is my best revenge: My experience of trauma, abuse and dissociative identity disorder

by Carolyn Spring

What is it like to live with dissociative identity disorder? How does the brain respond to chronic, extreme trauma? Is recovery possible from such suffering? In this combined first and second volumes of her collected essays, Carolyn Spring writes candidly from a number of perspectives about her experiences of living with trauma-related dissociation, and her journey of recovery over ten years. Topics covered include such as shame, denial, child sexual abuse, the complex meanings of 'madness' and the multi-layered subjective experience of a dissociative mind. It is a series of standalone chapters or essays which build on one another to provide not only a unique insight into trauma, attachment and dissociation, but also the long and arduous - but ultimately fulfilling - recovery journey. REVIEWS "A powerful, insightful read. Carolyn's honest, brave, intelligent and poetically written essays about living with and recovering from DID are a real gift. I read it from cover to cover, and then began all over again." "Superbly helpful. This book is excellent both as a resource for professionals and a helpful aid to accompany those recovering from trauma, from someone who has pieced their life back together. It's been one of the most helpful books for myself as someone recovering with DID to see so much of my confusion mirrored and explained and then reassured with options and working strategies." "Inspires hope. Beautifully and intelligently written, giving hope and optimism for the future for all trauma survivors, and a must read for therapists." "Inspiring . This book was both interesting and inspirational in both content and subject matter. Having heard the author teach, I can vouch for her eloquence as much in writing now as in her spoken word. Her message is one to be spread. Her experiences and journey of self-awareness and acceptance give others hope and therapists a unique insight into trauma work." "Beautiful . Such poignancy and elegantly written, an inspiration to recovery, its journey and what that can look like. Thank you - it's great to feel connected and seen." "Excellent . This is an amazing account and glimpse into the world of someone who suffers with dissociative identity disorder as a result of extreme childhood trauma and the recovery process. Excellently written, poignant, challenging at times. Wonderful insight into the therapeutic process from the client's perspective. I have gained so much from reading this. Highly recommended."

Genres: Nonfiction, Psychology, Mental Health, Self Help, Memoir

190 pages, Paperback

First published February 15, 2016

About the author

Author and trainer on complex trauma and dissociation including Dissociative Identity Disorder. Formerly director of Positive Outcomes for Dissociative Survivors.

Reviews

[Lore LongSoulSystem · Rating 5 out of 5]

So many beautiful words and truths there...

[Abbie Lucy · Rating 5 out of 5]

I feel now a days i can only rate a book a full 5 stars if i feel that something will stick with me for the rest of my life. This was definitely one of those books!
I just want to say how BRAVE Carolyn was for writing this book in the first place, sharing such awful and personal experiences with us.
It really affected me reading what she has been through and is a massive eye opener to what is really going on in the world, perhaps even next door to us, that we still are so oblivious to.
She has really changed my outlook on like within less than 200 pages and she has also given me that last push to start the career that I know i have to do, so thank you Carolyn Spring for writing this book (:

[Becca Harrington · Rating 5 out of 5]

Full of hope and truth for trauma..

Full of hope and truth for trauma survivors. I couldn't put this book down and finished it within just a few days. As a survivor of trauma and dissociation, this book spoke to me at my core. Spring's writing validated my own experiences while providing me with more hope for recovery and to form my whole self. I recommend this book for trauma survivors, mental health professionals, and anybody interested in better understanding the amazing resilience of the brain and spirit in the face of complex and chronic trauma.

[Ryan · Rating 5 out of 5]

I was recommended Carolyn Spring's Podcast "Conversations With Carolyn Spring" by my therapist. From there I learnt of her books and have been reading for a little while. Evocative, is my word of choice for this book. By being completely and unapologetically open, Carolyn Spring has allowed me to feel less alone by sharing her own recovery and experiences. I have new outlooks of my own, new tools and ways of thinking for dealing with, and a better understanding of, my own DID.
Powerful, and worth the read.

[Kristen · Rating 5 out of 5]

Its time to be heard!

I found that Carolyn gave voice to my experience. This is so difficult to put words to so that others can understand yet the author put herself out there so others might benefit. I am so frustrated that this subject keeps getting shut down while there are kids that are still living fhrough this horrific experience .When will it end? I cried many tears while reading. Those tears were needed and I now find that Recovery will also be MY best revenge.

[suzboo5 · Rating 5 out of 5]

A return to innocence!

The author's profound clarity and confronting presence with the trauma and consequential survival manifestations are regularly interspersed with believable compassion, astounding wisdom and grounded hope. Soo much hope! It is a living testimony to the quote "The truth will set you free".

[Cheryl Bellingham · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was remarkable the honesty and generosity Carolyn spring gives in the book is testament to the journey. It gives hope that there is a way forward and a future. It is so honest with the questions and the doubt and the shame. A great book for both a survivor and also therapists. The book show how important that relationship is. Can’t recommend highly enough 💜

[Liesel Teversham · Rating 5 out of 5]

In one word - excellent!

I love this book with every fibre of my being. Written so honestly, thoughtfully, with the most beautiful, artistic, descriptive choice of words. I learned a, heck of a lot about DID and recovery from trauma. Carolyn I'm so grateful you are in this world!

[Letizia Graham · Rating 5 out of 5]

Honest, authentic and insightful book.

I learned a lot in this book about the impact of trauma on sufferers. It has encouraged me as a counsellor - trauma doesn't have to have the final word in people's lives. There is hope. Recommend this to both trauma survivors and therapists. Honest and insightful read.

[Root · Rating 5 out of 5]

Carolyn Spring runs an academic educational resource for mental health professionals as well as for survivors, and in this book she walks the reader through her personal experiences with trauma and dissociation in a collected essays format. It is precise, personal, and deeply relatable.

[Owen · Rating 5 out of 5]

Beautiful

Such poignancy and elegantly written, an inspiration to recovery, it's journey and what that can look like. Thank you it's great to feel connected and seen.

[Siobhan · Rating 5 out of 5]

An incredibly powerful and moving book to read.

[Elizabeth Hyde · Rating 5 out of 5]

My favorite DID book

The things that this book was able to reveal to me about myself, although incredibly painful, are proving invaluable. Hats off to Carolyn for bravery.

[Karina Willmott · Rating 5 out of 5]

Powerful🦋

I feel less alone and more able to fight having read this book. If your trying to heal your trauma read. Please read.⭐️

[Paige · Rating 5 out of 5]

I absolutely love the way Carolyn Spring writes - it's just so different to other writers. It's honest and raw.

[Bjørn · Rating 5 out of 5]

RTC. You can guess a bit from the fact that this is the third book in my life that I finished and immediately flipped back to the first page, and started to read again.