Lyn Mike Brown and Carol Gilligan ask "What, on the way to womanhood, does a girl give up?"; One hundred girls gave voice to what is rarely spoken and often ignored: that the passage out of girlhood is a journey into silence and disconnection, a troubled crossing when a girl loses a firm sense of self and becomes tentative and unsure. These changes mark the end of adolescence as a watershed in women's psychological development and the stories the girls tell are by turns heartrending and courageous.
Listening to these girls provides us with the means of reaching out to them at this critical time, and of better understanding what we as women and men may have left behind at our own crossroads.
What I got out of this book is that I have been profoundly out of relationship with virtually everyone in my life since I have been a young adolescent. No wonder I have always been profoundly lonely. When you hide yourself for the sake of "relationship" you end up with a false relationship, not a real one. I learned to do that at a very young age, hiding from my mother and then everyone else. For me, it became a way of being in the world to keep myself safe.
While it helps to see the process of how that happens, as this book reveals, it does not mean suddenly one can go out and make all false relationships into real ones. But with the power to influence younger women, I will be more aware of this and hopefully help encourage them to stay with what they feel and what they know, no matter who it pisses off.
Brown and Gilligan so beautifully articulate that turning point in adolescence, where girls start to silence themselves as they transition into womanhood. The stories of resistance to the patriarchal ideas of womanhood and femininity gave me the chills. By far one of my favorite books on women's development -- truly revolutionary.
This is one of my bibles - and it's the seminal text in girls' psychology. Lyn Mikel Brown and Carol Gilligan are two of the foremothers of girls' psychology. Don't work with or write about girls without reading this book!
This book talks about how women's voices get silenced during the transition into adulthood. The authors suggest that the archetype of the "perfect girl" and the "perfect woman" stifle girls' real development into mature women. I thought the book was interesting, well written, and worth reading, but I didn't think it was very helpful in terms of what can be done about regaining women's voices in society or stopping the loss of voice from happening in the first place. The last chapter details a few ideas, including bringing women and girls together and ensuring that open authentic women can serve as role models, but the issue is far more complex than that. I'm glad I read this book and I would definitely recommend it to any women who struggle to really acknowledge and stay with what they know/believe.
This book, along with Reviving Ophelia, gives new insights into how girls and women think, as well as possible causes for trends found in adolescent girls. Very informative, highly recommend to those interested in adolescent psychology and developmental behavior.