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Moving On: Beyond Forgive and Forget
You have been deeply hurt by someone wounded physically, emotionally, and/or spiritually by their actions. How do you move forward and walk out biblical forgiveness? And what makes forgiveness biblical? Ruth Ann Batstone, a child abuse survivor and experienced counselor, has wrestled deeply with these questions and now gives practical, God-honoring direction to others who have been hurt and can t just forgive and forget. Batstone's Moving On presents a compassionate and nuanced exploration of what forgiveness is and is not. It looks honestly at the realities of deep hurt and offers concrete direction for working through the process of forgiveness. Batstone points readers to Jesus, the man of sorrows and well acquainted with grief, as the one who understands their struggle and is with them each step of the way. His gospel is not a panacea for trouble, but it is the path through trouble as we keep our eyes fixed on him. Batstone doesn't promise that we can forget the evil that has been done, but she does promise that we can grow in faith, hope, and love as we turn to Jesus daily. The material in Moving On has been taught by the author in small group, Bible study, and conference settings. Moving On includes interactive study questions for each chapter, making the book ideal for group discussions and proactive individual reading and reflection.
- GenresChristian
144 pages, Paperback
Published November 7, 2016
3 people are currently reading
29 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 3 of 3 reviews
January 2, 2021
Ruth Batstone’s writing style is warm and engaging—this book will be very helpful in teaching and encouraging victims to deal biblically with their trauma, particularly when it comes to forgiving the perpetrator. The author does a powerful job of connecting with those who have suffered greatly at the hands of an abuser. Her empathy and understanding of the emotional damage such suffering produces is compelling as she gently nudges the reader toward the imperative to forgive.
Batstone constantly leads the reader back to the Gospel as the landmark and source of forgiveness. She repeatedly reminds us that the grounds on which we are commanded to forgive others is God’s forgiveness of our own sins through the sacrifice of Jesus on the cross. Moving On is fully Christ-centered and is an excellent tool for presenting the Gospel to a counselee who’s not yet professed faith in Christ but who has suffered at the hands of others.
The strengths of the book include the writer’s sharing of her own suffering. Her personal experience provides Batstone with a deep-level understanding of the complex emotions swirling in the heart of a victim. Each chapter ends with questions for reflection, making the book a great homework tool for biblical counselors. She also does a good job covering the various peripheral topics surrounding the issue of forgiveness, such as anger, desire for revenge, the danger of not forgiving, and the relationship of forgiveness to worship.
There are a few matters that weaken the volume. One of the book’s strengths is also its weakness: Batstone deals mostly with the subjective aspects of forgiveness; there are a few glaring holes when it comes to her treatment of the objective, transactional nature of forgiveness. The best example of this is her failure to deal with the little word “if” in Luke 17:3. Jesus says very clearly, “if he repents, forgive him.” Batstone, on the other hand, claims boldly that “forgiveness is not contingent on another’s repentance” (p. 96). She presents forgiveness as a unilateral, one-sided transaction. I don’t recall her dealing with Psalm 86:5, in which God is said to be “ready to forgive, and abundant in loving kindness to all who call upon You” (NASB). This is the posture a believer is to take with someone who refuses to repent: the heart attitude is that of forgiveness, but without actually making the transaction of forgiveness. This is more than a semantic difference when it comes to restoring relationships broken by sin: restoration is always a two-way interaction. Batstone’s unilateral idea of forgiveness unintentionally weakens that interactive dynamic.
Another weakness is apparent in her treatment of the notion of “forgiving oneself.” Again, she deals with the subjective, emotional matters and never touches on the fact that our sins are not primarily against ourselves to begin with, but against the Lawgiver. We are not the lawgiver, and therefore there is no need to “forgive ourselves” (texts such as 1 Corinthians 6:18 really speak to self-damage we wreak, not to moral transgression against our own law thereby requiring “self-forgiveness”). While she does a excellent job of exploring what issues might be rattling around in the heart of someone who “just can’t forgive themselves,” she does not deal plainly with the fact that sin is against God, not ourselves.
I recommend this book highly, but I would suggest Jay Adam’s From Forgiven to Forgiving as a companion text to anchor the subject in a more thoroughly biblical frame work. Four stars.
Batstone constantly leads the reader back to the Gospel as the landmark and source of forgiveness. She repeatedly reminds us that the grounds on which we are commanded to forgive others is God’s forgiveness of our own sins through the sacrifice of Jesus on the cross. Moving On is fully Christ-centered and is an excellent tool for presenting the Gospel to a counselee who’s not yet professed faith in Christ but who has suffered at the hands of others.
The strengths of the book include the writer’s sharing of her own suffering. Her personal experience provides Batstone with a deep-level understanding of the complex emotions swirling in the heart of a victim. Each chapter ends with questions for reflection, making the book a great homework tool for biblical counselors. She also does a good job covering the various peripheral topics surrounding the issue of forgiveness, such as anger, desire for revenge, the danger of not forgiving, and the relationship of forgiveness to worship.
There are a few matters that weaken the volume. One of the book’s strengths is also its weakness: Batstone deals mostly with the subjective aspects of forgiveness; there are a few glaring holes when it comes to her treatment of the objective, transactional nature of forgiveness. The best example of this is her failure to deal with the little word “if” in Luke 17:3. Jesus says very clearly, “if he repents, forgive him.” Batstone, on the other hand, claims boldly that “forgiveness is not contingent on another’s repentance” (p. 96). She presents forgiveness as a unilateral, one-sided transaction. I don’t recall her dealing with Psalm 86:5, in which God is said to be “ready to forgive, and abundant in loving kindness to all who call upon You” (NASB). This is the posture a believer is to take with someone who refuses to repent: the heart attitude is that of forgiveness, but without actually making the transaction of forgiveness. This is more than a semantic difference when it comes to restoring relationships broken by sin: restoration is always a two-way interaction. Batstone’s unilateral idea of forgiveness unintentionally weakens that interactive dynamic.
Another weakness is apparent in her treatment of the notion of “forgiving oneself.” Again, she deals with the subjective, emotional matters and never touches on the fact that our sins are not primarily against ourselves to begin with, but against the Lawgiver. We are not the lawgiver, and therefore there is no need to “forgive ourselves” (texts such as 1 Corinthians 6:18 really speak to self-damage we wreak, not to moral transgression against our own law thereby requiring “self-forgiveness”). While she does a excellent job of exploring what issues might be rattling around in the heart of someone who “just can’t forgive themselves,” she does not deal plainly with the fact that sin is against God, not ourselves.
I recommend this book highly, but I would suggest Jay Adam’s From Forgiven to Forgiving as a companion text to anchor the subject in a more thoroughly biblical frame work. Four stars.
June 12, 2023
My Thoughts:
Several things I love about this book which should also be compared to a study type book. It is not a book to only be read cover to cover without pausing to reflect, and answer the questions given at the end of the chapters.
Reasons why I love this book:
It begins with how the reader feels about their concept or understanding of forgiveness. Where they presently are in how they define and “feel about the issue, and how to respond to God’s call to forgive.”
Genesis 3 is a Bible story which shares the brokenness of disobedience and how relationships are harmed.
Ruth Ann Batstone writes with patience, tenderness, humility, and grace. She is wonderful about explaining concepts that maybe hard for people.
Chapter 3 teaches a common idea people have about others: people get what they deserve. We want mercy, but what about mercy to others? The parable of the unforgiving servant is in this chapter.
Importance of confession.
Importance of a soft heart to God.
Forgiveness cannot be done in our own effort and initiative. We need God’s help.
Batstone’s testimony of forgiveness and healing.
The problem of revenge.
Sin patterns.
My favorite chapter is 8: The Cost of Not forgiving.
Quotes from authors I love. For example: Paul Tripp, Lewis B. Smedes, Dan Allender, and Timothy Keller.
Favorite Quotes:
“Forgiveness – even forgiving what seems unforgivable – does not mean there is an absence of consequences or a refusal to pursue justice. When we renounce revenge, we commit our cause to God who judges justly.” Page 78.
“How do our hearts move toward a desire to forgive? I think worship takes us there. Worship is the experience of having my heart broken in God’s presence over what I have done and what I have left undone. Worship is the place where my deep selfishness is confronted and exposed by Christ’s deep selflessness.” Page 117.
“The process of forgiveness always begins where we stand empty handed before the cross, with no defense or covering for our shame unless we receive the righteousness that comes from Christ’s atoning death. worship then flows from a grateful heart, a heart filled with awe, a heart that stands amazed by the forgiveness of the good-hearted King.” Page 119.
Format: E-book.
Source: I received a complimentary e-book from New Growth Press and Audra Jennings. I am not required to write a positive review.
Audience: Readers who want to work towards forgiveness and healing.
Rating: Very good.
Several things I love about this book which should also be compared to a study type book. It is not a book to only be read cover to cover without pausing to reflect, and answer the questions given at the end of the chapters.
Reasons why I love this book:
It begins with how the reader feels about their concept or understanding of forgiveness. Where they presently are in how they define and “feel about the issue, and how to respond to God’s call to forgive.”
Genesis 3 is a Bible story which shares the brokenness of disobedience and how relationships are harmed.
Ruth Ann Batstone writes with patience, tenderness, humility, and grace. She is wonderful about explaining concepts that maybe hard for people.
Chapter 3 teaches a common idea people have about others: people get what they deserve. We want mercy, but what about mercy to others? The parable of the unforgiving servant is in this chapter.
Importance of confession.
Importance of a soft heart to God.
Forgiveness cannot be done in our own effort and initiative. We need God’s help.
Batstone’s testimony of forgiveness and healing.
The problem of revenge.
Sin patterns.
My favorite chapter is 8: The Cost of Not forgiving.
Quotes from authors I love. For example: Paul Tripp, Lewis B. Smedes, Dan Allender, and Timothy Keller.
Favorite Quotes:
“Forgiveness – even forgiving what seems unforgivable – does not mean there is an absence of consequences or a refusal to pursue justice. When we renounce revenge, we commit our cause to God who judges justly.” Page 78.
“How do our hearts move toward a desire to forgive? I think worship takes us there. Worship is the experience of having my heart broken in God’s presence over what I have done and what I have left undone. Worship is the place where my deep selfishness is confronted and exposed by Christ’s deep selflessness.” Page 117.
“The process of forgiveness always begins where we stand empty handed before the cross, with no defense or covering for our shame unless we receive the righteousness that comes from Christ’s atoning death. worship then flows from a grateful heart, a heart filled with awe, a heart that stands amazed by the forgiveness of the good-hearted King.” Page 119.
Format: E-book.
Source: I received a complimentary e-book from New Growth Press and Audra Jennings. I am not required to write a positive review.
Audience: Readers who want to work towards forgiveness and healing.
Rating: Very good.
November 10, 2017
This was a great little read that was packed with helpful teaching on forgiveness. However, what made it stand out was the simple demonstration of truths. Ideas and concepts were not left floating in abstractness, but Batstone used personal experiences and stories drawn from counseling situations to draw us in practically. Really, this will be my go-to guide when discussing or teaching about forgiveness.
Displaying 1 - 3 of 3 reviews