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The Guru Drinks Bourbon?
An enlightening, accessible, and highly entertaining guide to the guru-disciple relationship, the heart of Tibetan Buddhism
The humility and compassionate activity of the Dalai Lama is something many people can connect with, but how can one understand the stories about some other Buddhist teachers’ unorthodox behavior? The centrality of and reliance on a guru is one of most misunderstood elements of Tibetan Buddhism—and one that is most often veiled in mystery. Because the guru can and will use whatever means it takes to wake us up, this relationship may require us to drop our most deeply held beliefs and expectations.
Dzongsar Jamyang Khyentse addresses some of the most misunderstood aspects of this powerful relationship and gives practical advice on making the most of this precious opportunity for transformation. Through stories and classical examples, he shows how to walk the path with eyes wide open, with critical-thinking skills sharpened and equipped to analyze the guru, before taking the leap.
The humility and compassionate activity of the Dalai Lama is something many people can connect with, but how can one understand the stories about some other Buddhist teachers’ unorthodox behavior? The centrality of and reliance on a guru is one of most misunderstood elements of Tibetan Buddhism—and one that is most often veiled in mystery. Because the guru can and will use whatever means it takes to wake us up, this relationship may require us to drop our most deeply held beliefs and expectations.
Dzongsar Jamyang Khyentse addresses some of the most misunderstood aspects of this powerful relationship and gives practical advice on making the most of this precious opportunity for transformation. Through stories and classical examples, he shows how to walk the path with eyes wide open, with critical-thinking skills sharpened and equipped to analyze the guru, before taking the leap.
272 pages, Paperback
Published November 22, 2016
107 people are currently reading
673 people want to read
About the author
Dzongsar Jamyang Khyentse
29 books323 followersDzongsar Jamyang Khyentse Rinpoche was born in Bhutan in 1961 and was recognised as the incarnation of Jamyang Khyentse Chokyi Lodro (1894-1959). From early childhood, he has studied with some of the greatest contemporary masters, particularly his father, H.H. Thinley Norbu Rinpoche and H.H. Dilgo Khyentse Rinpoche.
From a young age he has been active in preserving the Buddhist teachings, establishing centres of learning and practice, supporting practitioners, publishing books, and teaching all over the world. Dzongsar Khyentse Rinpoche supervises his traditional seat of Dzongsar Monastery and its retreat centres in Eastern Tibet, as well as his new colleges in India and Bhutan. He has also has established centres in Australia, North America, and the Far East. These are gathered under Siddhartha's Intent.
In addition to Siddhartha's Intent, in 2001, the Khyentse Foundation was founded by Dzongsar Khyentse Rinpoche. It is a non-profit organization with the stated goal "to act as a system of patronage for institutions and individuals engaged in the practice and study of Buddha's wisdom and compassion."
His two major films are The Cup (1999) and Travellers and Magicians (2003).
From a young age he has been active in preserving the Buddhist teachings, establishing centres of learning and practice, supporting practitioners, publishing books, and teaching all over the world. Dzongsar Khyentse Rinpoche supervises his traditional seat of Dzongsar Monastery and its retreat centres in Eastern Tibet, as well as his new colleges in India and Bhutan. He has also has established centres in Australia, North America, and the Far East. These are gathered under Siddhartha's Intent.
In addition to Siddhartha's Intent, in 2001, the Khyentse Foundation was founded by Dzongsar Khyentse Rinpoche. It is a non-profit organization with the stated goal "to act as a system of patronage for institutions and individuals engaged in the practice and study of Buddha's wisdom and compassion."
His two major films are The Cup (1999) and Travellers and Magicians (2003).
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 37 reviews
July 19, 2019
"It's easy to differentiate between shit and gold but much more difficult to differentiate between highly polished brass and gold."
As per his usual style, Dzongsar Jamyang Khyentse writes with a clear “zero fucks were given today” attitude about a very complicated and delicate aspect of Buddhist practice. I think that’s a good thing, I think the Teachings are supposed to get under your skin, and he certainly knows how to do that to his readership. In his third book, he explores the relationship between guru and student, and (as one might expect if you’ve read his other books) shatters a few illusions and misconceptions along the way. There have been a lot scandals in the Buddhist world (however you define that) about teachers abusing their position and doing what is widely perceived as not guru-like things; so books like this, that explore the dynamics of that relationship, and that urge people to use their judgment and critical thinking to be able to tell the good teachers from the bad, are really important.
I have sometimes caught myself thinking that there is something weird with the expectation of most Western students that their guru will be an ever-loving person who will gently guide them along a smooth road, comfort them when things get tough and make them cookies. Need I remind anyone that the first Noble Truth of Buddhism is that “Life is suffering”? Awakening is rarely a pleasant experience and studying and practicing the Dharma is hard. Really hard. And usually not in ways you imagine.
Khyentse spends a lot of time clarifying the role of the guru, which if misunderstood will obviously make it easier for people to fall prey to charlatans and unqualified teachers. He is quite clear on how subjective the criteria for choosing a guru can be, which is a considerable difficulty. He also mentions that the mainstreaming and institutionalization of Buddhism makes things much more complicated, as this can cause more confusion about the point of the guru-student relationship. He often reminds readers that a crucial aspect is also understanding one's motivation for seeking a guru: I appreciate that he hammers this point a lot, because if people seek someone to tell them what to do, or someone to be their therapist, whatever guru they latch on will probably not be the right one.
Nevertheless, he lists out things to look for, as well as things to look out for, what you should be considered a red flag and what needs to be considered carefully before deciding whether or not it is a red flag. Some of it is simple common sense, and some of it is a bit more subtle and nuanced. This is not about moral ambiguity, but more about ways in which one person can lead another person to realization. “The Vajrayana is the path of the rug being pulled out of under your feet, so you need someone who knows how to do that” is an interesting quote, but I would add to it that it might be important that a teacher know how to pull the proverbial rug without you breaking all of your bones on the landing…
I am not 100% on board with everything Khyentse says in this book (am I ever?). For instance, his tone implying that anyone who does not follow the Vajrayana path is a casual practitioner and a conformist made me roll my eyes a bit… especially since he says a few times that not everyone needs the same kind of teachings. I suppose that makes me a casual conformist! He also mentions that Mahayana traditions, such as Zen, say that people have the potential to become Buddhas; when actually, Soto Zen is based on the idea that we are all already Buddhas, and simply need the tools to realize it. I’m not sure where this misunderstanding comes from, but it struck me as odd…
I really appreciate Khyentse’s efforts to de-romanticize Buddhism, which is often idealized by dreamy Orientalist ideas. This book reaffirms that Vajrayana is definitely not for me, but anyone looking for a spiritual teacher can profit from Khyentse’s advice; just don’t take his attitude and biases personally.
3 and a half stars, rounded up.
(A few further reading suggestions! Shozan Jack Haubner has a lot of thought-provoking things to say about the scandal that shook his community in his book “Single White Monk” (https://www.goodreads.com/review/show...). His reflections are very interesting, and also vulnerable and honest, on a complicated and extremely sensitive subject. It is excellent food for thought. Brad Warner has also talked extensively about teacher-student relationships, the complications, nuances and slippery slopes that are on par for the course (the following videos are especially interesting: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UoHit... , https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pcAdu... and https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c_3Jy...). His book “Zen Wrapped in Karma Dipped in Chocolate” (https://www.goodreads.com/review/show...) discusses the topic, among other things.)
As per his usual style, Dzongsar Jamyang Khyentse writes with a clear “zero fucks were given today” attitude about a very complicated and delicate aspect of Buddhist practice. I think that’s a good thing, I think the Teachings are supposed to get under your skin, and he certainly knows how to do that to his readership. In his third book, he explores the relationship between guru and student, and (as one might expect if you’ve read his other books) shatters a few illusions and misconceptions along the way. There have been a lot scandals in the Buddhist world (however you define that) about teachers abusing their position and doing what is widely perceived as not guru-like things; so books like this, that explore the dynamics of that relationship, and that urge people to use their judgment and critical thinking to be able to tell the good teachers from the bad, are really important.
I have sometimes caught myself thinking that there is something weird with the expectation of most Western students that their guru will be an ever-loving person who will gently guide them along a smooth road, comfort them when things get tough and make them cookies. Need I remind anyone that the first Noble Truth of Buddhism is that “Life is suffering”? Awakening is rarely a pleasant experience and studying and practicing the Dharma is hard. Really hard. And usually not in ways you imagine.
Khyentse spends a lot of time clarifying the role of the guru, which if misunderstood will obviously make it easier for people to fall prey to charlatans and unqualified teachers. He is quite clear on how subjective the criteria for choosing a guru can be, which is a considerable difficulty. He also mentions that the mainstreaming and institutionalization of Buddhism makes things much more complicated, as this can cause more confusion about the point of the guru-student relationship. He often reminds readers that a crucial aspect is also understanding one's motivation for seeking a guru: I appreciate that he hammers this point a lot, because if people seek someone to tell them what to do, or someone to be their therapist, whatever guru they latch on will probably not be the right one.
Nevertheless, he lists out things to look for, as well as things to look out for, what you should be considered a red flag and what needs to be considered carefully before deciding whether or not it is a red flag. Some of it is simple common sense, and some of it is a bit more subtle and nuanced. This is not about moral ambiguity, but more about ways in which one person can lead another person to realization. “The Vajrayana is the path of the rug being pulled out of under your feet, so you need someone who knows how to do that” is an interesting quote, but I would add to it that it might be important that a teacher know how to pull the proverbial rug without you breaking all of your bones on the landing…
I am not 100% on board with everything Khyentse says in this book (am I ever?). For instance, his tone implying that anyone who does not follow the Vajrayana path is a casual practitioner and a conformist made me roll my eyes a bit… especially since he says a few times that not everyone needs the same kind of teachings. I suppose that makes me a casual conformist! He also mentions that Mahayana traditions, such as Zen, say that people have the potential to become Buddhas; when actually, Soto Zen is based on the idea that we are all already Buddhas, and simply need the tools to realize it. I’m not sure where this misunderstanding comes from, but it struck me as odd…
I really appreciate Khyentse’s efforts to de-romanticize Buddhism, which is often idealized by dreamy Orientalist ideas. This book reaffirms that Vajrayana is definitely not for me, but anyone looking for a spiritual teacher can profit from Khyentse’s advice; just don’t take his attitude and biases personally.
3 and a half stars, rounded up.
(A few further reading suggestions! Shozan Jack Haubner has a lot of thought-provoking things to say about the scandal that shook his community in his book “Single White Monk” (https://www.goodreads.com/review/show...). His reflections are very interesting, and also vulnerable and honest, on a complicated and extremely sensitive subject. It is excellent food for thought. Brad Warner has also talked extensively about teacher-student relationships, the complications, nuances and slippery slopes that are on par for the course (the following videos are especially interesting: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UoHit... , https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pcAdu... and https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c_3Jy...). His book “Zen Wrapped in Karma Dipped in Chocolate” (https://www.goodreads.com/review/show...) discusses the topic, among other things.)
February 24, 2020
If your Guru Drinks Bourbon then walk the other way. The Buddha banned the use of intoxicates among sangha members. But certain Buddhists feel they are above these rules and have produced CTR who died of cirrhosis of the liver and tortured animals, his successor Thomas Rich who had AIDS and gave it to his student, SMR who has sexually assaulted women while drunk and LR who has been disgraced because of alcohol abuse.
I am greatly disappointed with DJK for not taking a strong stance against abusive and drunken behavior by these so called guru's. He should have the courage to admit that we no longer live in the past on a hill in Tibet were feudalism and abuse were in the fabric of society.
I am greatly disappointed with DJK for not taking a strong stance against abusive and drunken behavior by these so called guru's. He should have the courage to admit that we no longer live in the past on a hill in Tibet were feudalism and abuse were in the fabric of society.
July 11, 2021
Прекрасное прикладное пособие по гуру-йоге для чайников от нашего любимого иконокласта и ревизиониста ваджраяны. Удивительное это свойство у Дзонгсара - говорить как будто с тобой лично. Понятно, что в книги вложен труд нескольких людей, но этой технической подробностью можно пренебречь: им все удается, эффект достигнут.
September 8, 2018
Honestly, I didn’t fully get the book. Maybe due to inadequate wisdom and merit and karmic backwash, I couldn’t fully comprehend the content. When I could albeit, I was totally inline with DJKR’s profound thoughts except for a few times; esp. in topics like sex as an offering and superiority of the Buddha dharma (despite Rimpoche's advice on being open-minded when evaluating another being's understanding of karma. Sorry 😐).
I’m going with 4 stars, only because DJKR doesn’t acknowledge the concept of oneness (because I believe him the coolest Rimpoche) or so I understood. Forgive me if my perceptions were impure and dualistic 🙏🏼 I pray your teachings will liberate all sentient beings.
I’m going with 4 stars, only because DJKR doesn’t acknowledge the concept of oneness (because I believe him the coolest Rimpoche) or so I understood. Forgive me if my perceptions were impure and dualistic 🙏🏼 I pray your teachings will liberate all sentient beings.
December 16, 2016
Can't take it! So good! Too good! Absolutely brilliant.
July 15, 2025
Dzongsar is a constant source of surprise, inspiration and encouragement. This volume is dense, light, beautiful, focussed and wide-ranging.
According to Rinpoche even a fake guru can be a valid object of devotion. Rinpoche does not name names, but has much to say about trends in Buddhism and particularly Tibetan Buddhism and the tulku system. Highly recommended!
This book provides valuable insights to careful readers who stuck in the mud, mired down in the swamp of contemporary buddhist practice.
According to Rinpoche even a fake guru can be a valid object of devotion. Rinpoche does not name names, but has much to say about trends in Buddhism and particularly Tibetan Buddhism and the tulku system. Highly recommended!
This book provides valuable insights to careful readers who stuck in the mud, mired down in the swamp of contemporary buddhist practice.
December 12, 2016
I thought of many things, but do I really want to tell you that I am a Vajrayana practitioner?
April 21, 2019
Great book that explained the role of the guru in Vajrayana. It helped me realize much of the doubt I have is shared pretty globally. It also helped me see exactly how important the student guru relationship is for the Vajrayana path.
September 7, 2018
I read this book within one year of entering Vajrayana and I found out how useful it was. This is like a guide to help those who are into Vajrayana to get an idea as to what its like to be part of a teacher-student relationship. It also explains characteristics of good and bad teachers so we can prevent ourselves from falling into the hands of harmful teachers. This is a problem in the Vajrayana world and such a book helps to address this problem.
As most of us already know, the title of the book is a nod to the late Chogyam Trungpa who was an excellent teacher of Buddhism but his peculiar lifestyle appeared quite idiosyncratic not only to Buddhists who are outside of the Vajrayana but even to those who are within the Vajrayana path. The author clearly puts the crazy wisdom of Chogyam Trungpa into an appropriate context. He encourages to make us look at such lifestyles within their context and not to place such behaviors in a vacuum and make judgments from our own dualistic view of morality.
This is the book which I would recommend for those who are looking for teachers within the Vajrayana. Because the success within the Vajrayana path depends on what sort of teachers we choose to be our guides.
As most of us already know, the title of the book is a nod to the late Chogyam Trungpa who was an excellent teacher of Buddhism but his peculiar lifestyle appeared quite idiosyncratic not only to Buddhists who are outside of the Vajrayana but even to those who are within the Vajrayana path. The author clearly puts the crazy wisdom of Chogyam Trungpa into an appropriate context. He encourages to make us look at such lifestyles within their context and not to place such behaviors in a vacuum and make judgments from our own dualistic view of morality.
This is the book which I would recommend for those who are looking for teachers within the Vajrayana. Because the success within the Vajrayana path depends on what sort of teachers we choose to be our guides.
September 7, 2019
Informative, honest, blunt, witty. No notions withheld, and no fucks given.
But this shouldn't be a surprise to you if you are familiar with DJK and his work. He is not shy with his thoughts, even at the cost of courting massive controversies — whether it be his views on Aung San Suu Ki or the charges
If you aren't, I would recommend reading his 'What makes you not a Buddhist' first.
This book is a perfect introduction for anyone wanting to explore or understand the Vajrayana (Tantric) Buddhist path.
Fortunate for me, the book helped me realize that it is not the path for me. For most people, it is the other way around.
But this shouldn't be a surprise to you if you are familiar with DJK and his work. He is not shy with his thoughts, even at the cost of courting massive controversies — whether it be his views on Aung San Suu Ki or the charges
If you aren't, I would recommend reading his 'What makes you not a Buddhist' first.
This book is a perfect introduction for anyone wanting to explore or understand the Vajrayana (Tantric) Buddhist path.
Fortunate for me, the book helped me realize that it is not the path for me. For most people, it is the other way around.
January 5, 2022
Not for beginning students. No explanations of terminology or concepts. No amusing anecdotes about gurus that the title may hint of. This is a strait forward book on the view. Thought provoking and not a gentle feel-good dharma book. Every vajrayana student should have a teacher this candid. Highly recommended but may be challenging to some students beliefs.
June 11, 2017
A good and entertaining read
Solid introduction into the subject and understandable even with little prior knowledge on Buddhism, etc. Well written and provides good food for thought on how to consider this approach to the path.
Solid introduction into the subject and understandable even with little prior knowledge on Buddhism, etc. Well written and provides good food for thought on how to consider this approach to the path.
December 1, 2018
The main thing I got out of the book was the importance of devotion and intention for practice. I thought the book contained clear dharma teachings and I found the stories contained in the book both entertaining and hopefully seeds of enlightenment for all beings.
March 7, 2017
A really excellent commentary on the nuance and complexity of guru devotion and a guru/student relationship on the Vajrayana path.
April 6, 2020
Good, in-depth explanation of the guru tradition in Tibetan Vajrayana. Full of sensible advice. Probably best for Vajrayana practitioners - most of it is very specific to that tradition.
December 5, 2021
There is much advice that’s good in this book, but it’s cut and pasted verbatim from 18th and 19th century ACTUAL masters (primarily Jigme Lingpa and Patrul Rinpoche). DJKR seems to have a need to constantly be edgy and provocative, and can’t even pull it off, revealing just how immature he actually is. In multiple places this man literally and explicitly condones and presents justifications for abuse … 🤦🏽♂️ At least he admits his immaturity in the book, and that he struggles with pride, lack of mindfulness, hypocrisy, depression, and materialism (pg 98). Yet another bunch of glaring reasons to not read it or take him as any kind of guide worth listening to, and especially not as a guru or on the subject of gurus. He is not enlightened and is likely not even realized in any significant degree. It seems that he’s merely a celebrity Buddhist teacher who does good charitable work and recycles the good content in his books from legitimately realized masters from antiquity, while simultaneously tainting those valuable insights with unbelievably ludicrous drivel.
December 6, 2020
Advice about choosing a Buddhist teacher to follow, along with some advice toward the end for those who aspire to be gurus. The author also addresses some concerns regarding abuse within some Buddhist communities in recent years. I enjoyed the brief personal glimpses he gave in regard to some of his own students.
June 15, 2018
A great introduction to the idea of Vajrayana Buddhism
Really opened my mind in the clear, precise and unrestrained language used to explain Vajrayana Buddhism. I could feel the authenticity of the writer in explaining in detail the path and am grateful to have read the book.
Really opened my mind in the clear, precise and unrestrained language used to explain Vajrayana Buddhism. I could feel the authenticity of the writer in explaining in detail the path and am grateful to have read the book.
August 21, 2018
This book is a jewel that Dzongsar Jamyang Khyentse Rinpoche shared with all the folks out there who call themselves Buddhists. It should be kept as bed side book to be read and reread again. Such clarity in such a topic, amazing.
October 18, 2019
I love listening to his teaching and reading his books. He is very wise teacher who knows how to attract and tame his student. Make sure read the prequel of this book and then one will know what i am talking about. Very very clever.
December 17, 2019
The book to me is how to know who is your root teacher, how student and teacher's relation should be, what are the consequences. The way of accepting as student -teacher under Buddhism teaching is highlighted more in this. Grab it :) and know you are the chosen or not ..
October 31, 2023
Powerful
I'm sure many other reviews are here listing this as a "must read". They're correct. If you're considering finding a guru, before you so much as visit their websites or go to your temple, please read this first.
I'm sure many other reviews are here listing this as a "must read". They're correct. If you're considering finding a guru, before you so much as visit their websites or go to your temple, please read this first.
August 27, 2024
Brilliant. I believe this book should be mandatory reading material for anyone aspiring to enter the Vajrayana. Very poignant, approachable and digestible.
This book helped me clear up so many misconceptions I had regarding the notion of Guru within Tibetan Buddhism.
This book helped me clear up so many misconceptions I had regarding the notion of Guru within Tibetan Buddhism.
October 24, 2025
“the best things for maintaining a relationship with the master is keeping a healthy distance: not too close, not too distant—in terms of time, geography, socialization, and emotions”
Excerpt From
The Guru Drinks Bourbon?
Dzongsar Jamyang Khyentse
Excerpt From
The Guru Drinks Bourbon?
Dzongsar Jamyang Khyentse
January 1, 2018
Written with disarming candor. There's a lot of food for thought, and I'm not totally sold on everything he presents.
January 30, 2018
Right View of the Guru
An indispensable guide for westerners thinking about embarking on the lifelong quest for enlightenment with a Guru in the Tibetan tradition as guide.
An indispensable guide for westerners thinking about embarking on the lifelong quest for enlightenment with a Guru in the Tibetan tradition as guide.
August 23, 2020
Nice book that helps me make a lot of sense of the guru system in Tibetan Buddhism.
November 1, 2021
Another tosser. (Referring to both the book and author). He sees nothing wrong with sleeping with the guru. Of course he doesn’t! Don’t bother reading this junk.
April 7, 2023
Rinpoche never ceases to give wise and practical advice.
June 8, 2025
good breakdown of guru yoga
Displaying 1 - 30 of 37 reviews