What do you think?
Rate this book
You Negotiate Like a Girl: Reflections on a Career in the National Football League
The Princess of Darkness. Former NFL team executive Amy Trask has held many titles during her career – including chief executive, analyst, and author – but this nickname is what she is first and foremost known by to Raiders fans. Trask joined the Raiders as an intern during law school after the team moved from Oakland to Los Angeles – the position the result of a cold call she made to the team. From there, she worked her way up through the ranks of the organization, to the post she would eventually hold as chief executive. Along the way, Trask worked extremely closely with the late Al Davis, a man who treated her and others on his team without regard to gender, race, and age. Trask may have been the highest-ranking female executive in the NFL during her tenure with the Raiders, but in You Negotiate Like a Girl: Reflections on a Career in the National Football League, she shares how she found success by operating without regard to gender. Replete with insider tales about being part of the Raiders' front office, behind the closed doors of NFL owners meetings, and Davis himself, Trask's book is a must-read not only for football fans, but anyone who wants to succeed in business.
240 pages, Hardcover
Published September 15, 2016
35 people are currently reading
289 people want to read
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 28 of 28 reviews
September 26, 2016
Full disclosure: I gave the book a second star because I'm a Raiders fan and I think, despite the book, Amy Trask has a unique story. Unfortunately, that didn't come across in the book. It does end with a sweet story involving Al Davis that shows just how much she adored him. But that's also what's wrong with the book. The biggest takeaway I got from the book is that Trask adored Al Davis. Her adoration of Davis comes off a bit creepy at times, especially the multitude of times she considered being "motherf****d" by Davis was his way of showing appreciation and care. It should've been titled "An Ode to Al Davis." You won't go a page without an Al Davis reference (or multiple references) of some kind. I felt like I learned infinitely more about Davis and his style as an owner than I did about Trask and her career. The book's title gives the indication you'll learn about how Trask handled being the first female CEO in the male-dominated NFL, the tough situations she had to navigate in male-dominated environments and how she managed to do her job and gain respect in a male-dominated environment. You get that, but it's commonly in a scenario that involved Al Davis. Even the title had the Al Davis imprint on it (you'll see). Now that she's put her love of Al Davis out on the table, I hope to learn more about Amy Trask in her next book.
March 14, 2019
I am, quite frankly, befuddled by the four and five star ratings and reviews for this book. Did we read the same text? The only reason I finished is that this was, unfortunately, the first pick for my workplace’s Connecting Women book club, which I was tapped to lead. No, I didn’t vote for this book, so I can’t be blamed for it, but I felt obligated to suffer through every one of the 240 pages, so I can be a good hostess.
My hard copy is full of pink page flags (all the things that angered or annoyed me), but there are seven blue or green flags (sections that I agreed with or found helpful/profound), so I can’t say it was total garbage. I particularly appreciated her belief in a system of implementing systems around the skills of your employees, rather than trying to force employees into a rigid structure that may not suit their strengths - setting up employees, and by extension, your business, for success, not failure. I also learned a few details about how the NFL works behind the scenes (or at least how it worked when Amy was part of the Raiders), and I found those details interesting.
However, the bulk of the book is poorly written, badly edited, riddled with expletives (which despite her Author’s Note to the contrary, simply comes across as excessive, unnecessary, and used for shock value) and incredibly repetitive. As short as it was, it could probably have been cut in half without losing any substance. There was no cohesive narrative structure, and the jumping around was distracting. Additionally, I found her view on gender in the workplace to be enraging. She espouses the theory that businesses should be gender-blind. This is not only an unreasonable concept, I believe it is detrimental to women. In our current society, saying “I don’t see gender” is like saying “I don’t see color”. To use a word Amy seems to love, at best this statement of gender blindness is “disingenuous”. I think it’s complete b.s. and actually erases women, just like “I don’t see color” erases POC. It says, to be successful, you must pretend those things that make you stronger, make you special, don’t exist if they can be tied to gender. You have to blend in, be one of the guys.
No. Just, no.
My hard copy is full of pink page flags (all the things that angered or annoyed me), but there are seven blue or green flags (sections that I agreed with or found helpful/profound), so I can’t say it was total garbage. I particularly appreciated her belief in a system of implementing systems around the skills of your employees, rather than trying to force employees into a rigid structure that may not suit their strengths - setting up employees, and by extension, your business, for success, not failure. I also learned a few details about how the NFL works behind the scenes (or at least how it worked when Amy was part of the Raiders), and I found those details interesting.
However, the bulk of the book is poorly written, badly edited, riddled with expletives (which despite her Author’s Note to the contrary, simply comes across as excessive, unnecessary, and used for shock value) and incredibly repetitive. As short as it was, it could probably have been cut in half without losing any substance. There was no cohesive narrative structure, and the jumping around was distracting. Additionally, I found her view on gender in the workplace to be enraging. She espouses the theory that businesses should be gender-blind. This is not only an unreasonable concept, I believe it is detrimental to women. In our current society, saying “I don’t see gender” is like saying “I don’t see color”. To use a word Amy seems to love, at best this statement of gender blindness is “disingenuous”. I think it’s complete b.s. and actually erases women, just like “I don’t see color” erases POC. It says, to be successful, you must pretend those things that make you stronger, make you special, don’t exist if they can be tied to gender. You have to blend in, be one of the guys.
No. Just, no.
February 7, 2017
My boyfriend got me this book after listening to Pardon My Take. I am currently in a terrible work environment with a male, who thinks he can say/do as he pleases to me (note: Al Davis respected Amy, unlike my situation in this case). I act without regard to my gender and fight with him to the death, Amy's strong personality and determination to get a job done was very relatable. I would recommend this book to every and anybody who is interested in sports and leadership!
May 28, 2018
I really love Amy Trask on Twitter. She is a level-headed and positive force with great NFL insights and really good leadership traits. The book is an interesting, breezy, behind-the-scenes look at her life as the highest-ranking woman in a non-ownership position with an NFL team. Overall, it was more reminiscences and autobiography than an insightful business book, but it was a fun read for a football fan/business leader reader...
July 7, 2017
First off I'd like to say that I'm a Chiefs' fan. I don't think that has colored my take on this book, but I may be wrong. The writing is choppy and repetitious. I didn't find many of the anecdotes to be particularly illuminating or even interesting. To sum it up, Al Davis didn't care that she was a woman. Okay, now there is no reason for you to have to read the book. Not recommended.
April 16, 2023
RICK “SHAQ” GOLDSTEIN SAYS: AL DAVIS: “OH AMY… I SWEAR AT AMY… BUT I DON’T CONSIDER HER A WOMAN!”
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Now that I have your attention… that comment by Al Davis is not the negative it seems. Al had the most progressive… non-prejudicial… attitude… in the NFL. He always (As my Dad always told me) “let your playing do the talking!” So while other owners kept talking about equality throughout the league… on the field… and off… Raider’s owner, Al Davis was letting his “playing” do his talking. He hired the first black coach… Art Shell… the first Hispanic coach… Tom Flores… and the subject of this book Amy Trask was promoted to CEO of the Oakland Raiders… the first woman to hold that position in the NFL.
So Amy’s response to the late great Al Davis’s statement in my review title… is… “ISN’T THAT THE GOAL? ISN’T THAT THE HOPE? TO BE TREATED WITHOUT REGARD TO GENDER?”
As a lifetime Raiders fan… and one who proudly has his name engraved on the Raider Fan Hall of Fame wall outside the Oakland Coliseum… commemorating the fans who bought the original PSL’s that helped bring back our beloved Raiders to Oakland… I was quite excited to read a book that discussed what Al Davis was really like “off” the field. Not much true day to day detail had ever been published about Mr. Davis because he discouraged his inner circle confidants and told former players not to. Now that Mr. Davis has passed… the woman… who not only obliterated the female glass ceiling in the NFL… but worked inside with Mr. Davis… for close to three decades… shares her personal relationship with this NFL Hall of Fame giant and legend.
My perspective on Amy’s story… is that she (in my opinion) had a conundrum in the main points she wanted to make in this book… along with her interesting as hell (especially for lifelong Raider fans)… day to day existence in the secretive Raider organization. She of course is proud of being a woman… and accomplishing what she did… but she didn’t ever want to be judged… on her accomplishments… personality… anything… as a woman. When she gives advice to women that approach her with questions that contain any hint as to how did you as a woman do these things… she very strongly… and continually… retorts… “MY ADVISE TO YOUNG WOMEN IS NO-DIFFERENT THAN IT IS TO YOUNG MEN: WORK HARD; WORK REALLY, REALLY, REALLY HARD, WORK AS HARD AS YOU CAN, AND WHEN YOU DON’T BELIEVE YOU CAN WORK ANY HARDER, WORK HARDER.”
Amen Amy! “Just-Work-Hard-Baby!” Amy pulls no punches… asks for no bend over backwards leniency… and gives none. The book begins with a warning about the rough language in the book… and rightfully so… and the warning ends with a forewarning: “IF YOU OR SUCH (A) YOUNG PERSON WISH TO HAVE A CAREER IN FOOTBALL, SUCH LANGUAGE IS NOT ABERRANT, IT IS THE NORM.”
Amy shares everything from in-office politics… to private owners meetings… though she goes out of her way not to use the names of certain people who were obviously shown in a bad light. She tells the whole story and situation… but shows class… in leaving it at that. Amy though having a law degree… never wanted to make a living in court… she practiced transactional law not litigation. She always loved football from seventh grade on… and considered herself a “football person.” As her career blossomed with the Raiders she found herself involved more on the football side… and even was asked by Davis to assist in the search for a coach. In one instance… her recommendation was to hire Bill Belichick… before he went to New England. Davis hired someone else… and year’s later Davis volunteered this historical information to reporters and Amy was both stunned and happy!
You will follow Amy’s unwavering commitment to the Raiders organization… you’ll share everything from midnight calls from Al needing an education on Beavis and Butthead… to discussions on whether certain demeaning cuss words are one word or two… you’ll learn that one of Al’s favorite expressions is Awe you- know- what… and you’ll learn without a doubt that Amy is “ONE-TOUGH-COOKIE”! (See Reviewer’s Personal Note Below)
Note: Amy… in my opinion… the term “cookie” is non-gender specific… not male… not female… not… young… not old. So don’t get mad at me… it’s a compliment. As the die-hard Raider fan me and my entire family is… I’m glad she was on our team all these years. And now knowing her a thousand times better… it would be tremendous if she ever came back!
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Now that I have your attention… that comment by Al Davis is not the negative it seems. Al had the most progressive… non-prejudicial… attitude… in the NFL. He always (As my Dad always told me) “let your playing do the talking!” So while other owners kept talking about equality throughout the league… on the field… and off… Raider’s owner, Al Davis was letting his “playing” do his talking. He hired the first black coach… Art Shell… the first Hispanic coach… Tom Flores… and the subject of this book Amy Trask was promoted to CEO of the Oakland Raiders… the first woman to hold that position in the NFL.
So Amy’s response to the late great Al Davis’s statement in my review title… is… “ISN’T THAT THE GOAL? ISN’T THAT THE HOPE? TO BE TREATED WITHOUT REGARD TO GENDER?”
As a lifetime Raiders fan… and one who proudly has his name engraved on the Raider Fan Hall of Fame wall outside the Oakland Coliseum… commemorating the fans who bought the original PSL’s that helped bring back our beloved Raiders to Oakland… I was quite excited to read a book that discussed what Al Davis was really like “off” the field. Not much true day to day detail had ever been published about Mr. Davis because he discouraged his inner circle confidants and told former players not to. Now that Mr. Davis has passed… the woman… who not only obliterated the female glass ceiling in the NFL… but worked inside with Mr. Davis… for close to three decades… shares her personal relationship with this NFL Hall of Fame giant and legend.
My perspective on Amy’s story… is that she (in my opinion) had a conundrum in the main points she wanted to make in this book… along with her interesting as hell (especially for lifelong Raider fans)… day to day existence in the secretive Raider organization. She of course is proud of being a woman… and accomplishing what she did… but she didn’t ever want to be judged… on her accomplishments… personality… anything… as a woman. When she gives advice to women that approach her with questions that contain any hint as to how did you as a woman do these things… she very strongly… and continually… retorts… “MY ADVISE TO YOUNG WOMEN IS NO-DIFFERENT THAN IT IS TO YOUNG MEN: WORK HARD; WORK REALLY, REALLY, REALLY HARD, WORK AS HARD AS YOU CAN, AND WHEN YOU DON’T BELIEVE YOU CAN WORK ANY HARDER, WORK HARDER.”
Amen Amy! “Just-Work-Hard-Baby!” Amy pulls no punches… asks for no bend over backwards leniency… and gives none. The book begins with a warning about the rough language in the book… and rightfully so… and the warning ends with a forewarning: “IF YOU OR SUCH (A) YOUNG PERSON WISH TO HAVE A CAREER IN FOOTBALL, SUCH LANGUAGE IS NOT ABERRANT, IT IS THE NORM.”
Amy shares everything from in-office politics… to private owners meetings… though she goes out of her way not to use the names of certain people who were obviously shown in a bad light. She tells the whole story and situation… but shows class… in leaving it at that. Amy though having a law degree… never wanted to make a living in court… she practiced transactional law not litigation. She always loved football from seventh grade on… and considered herself a “football person.” As her career blossomed with the Raiders she found herself involved more on the football side… and even was asked by Davis to assist in the search for a coach. In one instance… her recommendation was to hire Bill Belichick… before he went to New England. Davis hired someone else… and year’s later Davis volunteered this historical information to reporters and Amy was both stunned and happy!
You will follow Amy’s unwavering commitment to the Raiders organization… you’ll share everything from midnight calls from Al needing an education on Beavis and Butthead… to discussions on whether certain demeaning cuss words are one word or two… you’ll learn that one of Al’s favorite expressions is Awe you- know- what… and you’ll learn without a doubt that Amy is “ONE-TOUGH-COOKIE”! (See Reviewer’s Personal Note Below)
Note: Amy… in my opinion… the term “cookie” is non-gender specific… not male… not female… not… young… not old. So don’t get mad at me… it’s a compliment. As the die-hard Raider fan me and my entire family is… I’m glad she was on our team all these years. And now knowing her a thousand times better… it would be tremendous if she ever came back!
March 8, 2021
Very disappointing. As a big Raider fan and Amy’s tenure covering many of my favorite years for the team, I expected to really like it. My biggest issue was too many of her stories featured unnamed owners or anonymous players so her stories lacked authenticity and context. The stories were all covered superficially. For example, she mentions she made a mistake and wanted to resign because it cost the Raiders $1 million but doesn’t give any inkling to what the mistake was. Another time she explains why a certain player is her favorite Raider but can’t tell us who it is. I understand the desire to keep some of these things secret but it made for an uninteresting book.
January 9, 2025
Any Trask isn’t a girl, she’s a Raider. She embodies the silver and black and the mentality of being “thug-ish” with the rowdy crowds of Oakland, Los Angeles, and now Las Vegas. What I love about this book was the short sequences of stories, the bulk of involving or being about legendary Raiders owner Al Davis, a football guy and men of men. A notorious asshole, Amy learned to roll with the punches she endured and become the best football executive.
As a self anointed football guy myself, it was so fun to read the ins and outs of daily NFL life, especially through the years. As one of the first female executives, Amy fought for equality but didn’t live and breathe by the creed. She wanted men and women too to respect her words and actions sans diversity push. Treat her the same way as everyone else and she was in business. With a sharp wit and N even sharper tongue, learning more about Amy’s time in the league was enjoyable amand entertaining.
As a self anointed football guy myself, it was so fun to read the ins and outs of daily NFL life, especially through the years. As one of the first female executives, Amy fought for equality but didn’t live and breathe by the creed. She wanted men and women too to respect her words and actions sans diversity push. Treat her the same way as everyone else and she was in business. With a sharp wit and N even sharper tongue, learning more about Amy’s time in the league was enjoyable amand entertaining.
July 14, 2017
I think it was extremely interesting to read Amy Trask's stories. While I disagree with her on many things she talks about (particularly about being a woman in a male dominated field), I appreciate reading about her views and experiences. I love how she loves the Raiders and football and that you can feel that throughout the book.
My only real problem with this book is the way it's written. It's extraordinarily repetitive and though that was done for a reason, it makes the book much harder to read.
My only real problem with this book is the way it's written. It's extraordinarily repetitive and though that was done for a reason, it makes the book much harder to read.
September 27, 2024
The fact that it took me 4 months to read a 200 page book should tell you all you need to know, but I’ll write a little more.
This book was so poorly written. There was no cohesive story, just random thoughts. I felt like I was reading her diary. Occasionally there were good nuggets of information but overall this was Trask putting out a book because someone thought it would be a good idea to have a female NFL CEO provide her perspective. There are better books if you’re looking for an insight into the sports world.
This book was so poorly written. There was no cohesive story, just random thoughts. I felt like I was reading her diary. Occasionally there were good nuggets of information but overall this was Trask putting out a book because someone thought it would be a good idea to have a female NFL CEO provide her perspective. There are better books if you’re looking for an insight into the sports world.
March 1, 2018
I grabbed this book on display at the library during Super Bowl week, trying to branch out. I’m not a big football fan, had never heard of Amy Trask, and didn’t know a single thing about the Raiders, but I found Amy’s stories fascinating. She also gave some good business insights. A worthwhile read if you like football, or want a unique inside perspective on the NFL from a female executive... which I thought was pretty cool.
May 9, 2020
Inspirational, revealing and at times very humorous. Not a girl, a Raider. The message is excellent. Author Trask explains her path to becoming a ceo in the nfl and dismisses any notion of sexism. Hard work, guile and dedication are what put her at the forefront of the highest ranking positions of one of sports most celebrated franchises. There’s no ‘poor me’ in this telling and I believe it can be a great benefit to male & female readers alike.
September 25, 2018
As a devoted Raider & Amy trask fan, I found the book to be a fantastic read. As someone who regularly teaches college-age young women the art and science of negotiation, I have added this book to my course syllabus. This is a great read on how women can succeed in industries and fields dominated by men. Amy is a fantastic and relatable author, as well as one of the best follows on Twitter.
October 7, 2018
This made me laugh, cry, and adore Al Davis
This was such an enjoyable book - not just about football, not just about the Raiders, not just about business and not just about gender. Actually not at all about gender. Just so many delightful stories about working hard, working with ethics, working with intelligence. I'm so tickled that Al giggles.
This was such an enjoyable book - not just about football, not just about the Raiders, not just about business and not just about gender. Actually not at all about gender. Just so many delightful stories about working hard, working with ethics, working with intelligence. I'm so tickled that Al giggles.
Read
December 23, 2023Great fun read.
Funny, smart,interesting & informative. Amy Trask tells a great story of what it was like to work inside the NFL with All Davis as her boss. Great insight & great laughs
Funny, smart,interesting & informative. Amy Trask tells a great story of what it was like to work inside the NFL with All Davis as her boss. Great insight & great laughs
June 27, 2024
Worth reading for the Philly cheesesteak story alone. But it's also frustrating, because of her reluctance to use the names of most of the NFL personnel in her stories. The complete absence of any explanation of her departure from the Raiders, or even any mention of Mark Davis, is puzzling.
February 21, 2019
Lacks depth; stories are literally only a page.
Too much of an Al Davis love song. While I don't mind that, when it lacks depth and is 70% Al Davis and not about her, then I am turned off.
Too much of an Al Davis love song. While I don't mind that, when it lacks depth and is 70% Al Davis and not about her, then I am turned off.
October 2, 2019
Boring stories and poorly written. Keep cashing those checks Amy!
April 10, 2020
Interesting, particularly as I think shes still the only female executive in NFL history. Unfortunately found the book too short overall.
June 20, 2020
Very disappointing. I thought it would be more about working in sports as a women, tips and advice and just more encouraging. Instead it was a book about Al Davis
August 14, 2020
I was born in Oakland late 60's. I was a local football fan until about 12. I'm not a Raiders fan. but I'm a huge Amy Trask fan. Love how she handled Al and his late night M F calls.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
October 27, 2020
This was written in the first person with enough relatability to keep me turning the pages.
October 14, 2021
Learned a ton about Al Davis.
November 16, 2021
Solid behind the scenes book. Loved the stories and Amy’s honesty.
December 29, 2016
I became interested in reading this after hearing Amy Trask speak during an interview with sports radio host Jim Rome. It's good and revealing, though the title is a little misleading: the book doesn't really focus on gender and is much more about the author's immersion and dedication to her job working for Al Davis and the Raiders organization. If you love or are interested in the NFL and especially the Raiders, this is a book for you.
December 8, 2016
Great perspective on shadowy team
This book gives a great insight into the other side of the NFLs most notorious team. Mrs Trask does a fantastic job telling stories about her work for the Raiders and more importantly her partnership with Al.
This book gives a great insight into the other side of the NFLs most notorious team. Mrs Trask does a fantastic job telling stories about her work for the Raiders and more importantly her partnership with Al.
August 22, 2016
Excellent book and shares some very interesting stories about Al Davis, the Raiders, the NFL and Amy Trask.
December 13, 2016
Very real
As a female who one worked in the nhl, this book was entertaining but also informative. A good read for anyone who loves football
As a female who one worked in the nhl, this book was entertaining but also informative. A good read for anyone who loves football
Displaying 1 - 28 of 28 reviews