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132 pages, Paperback
First published December 29, 2003



neither sadness, fear, nor despair, but gravity, endless and immense, has taken hold of me. i'm wandering between the houses, their numbers painted on white signs. i must be lost. it seemed i'd experienced brutal acts but could no longer remember them. no, i was simply struck by the sense of memory's intangibility, torn between struggling to recall certain events as something concrete, and the instinct to leave them safely in the nebulous past.
Music is absolute, just like death. Just as "greater death" or "lesser death" is a logical impossibility, so the same can be said of music, which is of the same order as the soul. A comparison can not be made between listening to Beethoven's concerto no 2 or no 3 as if one were "lesser" and one "greater".But then this is the same narrator who spends pages talking about how certain music, film, books, and even people (I feel bad for her friend whom she goes to the movies with) are inferior to others. I mean, seriously, this is the most spoiled and snobby narrator. She looks down on anything that isn't high art. So what does she mean when she says there's no "greater" music? Is it that anything that doesn't meet her standards of greatness isn't even qualified to be called "music" at all? I kept wondering "what is the purpose of having this narrator so snobby? How does it fit in with the themes of music/death/love, etc.?" but I couldn't figure it out, so I'm starting to think this is just the way she has written the narrator because Bae Suah is kinda snobby herself (maybe?).
"Such a sequence has no real existence in our mental world. The only thing that truly communicates real, intimate existence to us is the fact that, strictly speaking, the present does not exist. Time becomes a stale model of itself..."It sounds vaguely like the German author I linked to above, but I don't know for sure who wrote it and googling didn't return any results.
“I… I don’t like all that ‘over-accessibility’, you know, things that are deliberately designed to have the broadest possible appeal.”