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A Mixed Bag of Blood
From a man seeking vengeance for a dead loved one, to a monster lodged in a person’s nose, to starving vampires and samurai battling zombies, a bully meeting his gruesome demise, along with prostitutes being sacrificed, a boy who refuses to stop swearing, and the consequences of one man’s night of unprotected sex comes a dark and disturbing collection of sinister tales filled with dread, bloodshed, humor and the bizarre.
This is a Mixed Bag of Blood.
This is a Mixed Bag of Blood.
130 pages, Kindle Edition
First published January 20, 2016
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Displaying 1 - 23 of 23 reviews
March 23, 2016
3.5 stars!
David Bernstein has written a surprising number of stories for such a young man. (At least, he looks young.) I have enjoyed all that I've read so far, and this book is no exception.
This is a short collection, so it didn't take me long to make my way through. I liked the fact that the tales all varied wildly from one to the next; I never knew in what direction a story would take me.
My favorites have to be:
The Booglin: That's no ordinary booger stuck up there.
Invasion: And that's no ordinary cockroach that kid just picked up.
Bad Cutlery: It would be so nice to blame my failed meals on bad cutlery. Unfortunately, this knife does much worse than destroy meals.
STD: A lot of the stories in Mixed Bag of Blood had a serious EWWW factor, but I believe this one was the EWWWIEST. Of course, I was laughing my butt off while reading it.
Overall, this collection was above average. I read, and have read, a LOT of story collections over the years, and as such, it takes a LOT to impress me in the short fiction department. The tales I mentioned above were excellent, but not quite enough to bring this up to a 4 or 5 star rating for me. However, if what I've written above sounds interesting to you, then I recommend giving this collection a shot, because your mileage may vary.
Recommended to those with strong stomachs who are also fans of short horror stories!
*Thanks to Sinister Grin for providing me with a free e-copy of this book in exchange for my honest review. This is it!*
David Bernstein has written a surprising number of stories for such a young man. (At least, he looks young.) I have enjoyed all that I've read so far, and this book is no exception.
This is a short collection, so it didn't take me long to make my way through. I liked the fact that the tales all varied wildly from one to the next; I never knew in what direction a story would take me.
My favorites have to be:
The Booglin: That's no ordinary booger stuck up there.
Invasion: And that's no ordinary cockroach that kid just picked up.
Bad Cutlery: It would be so nice to blame my failed meals on bad cutlery. Unfortunately, this knife does much worse than destroy meals.
STD: A lot of the stories in Mixed Bag of Blood had a serious EWWW factor, but I believe this one was the EWWWIEST. Of course, I was laughing my butt off while reading it.
Overall, this collection was above average. I read, and have read, a LOT of story collections over the years, and as such, it takes a LOT to impress me in the short fiction department. The tales I mentioned above were excellent, but not quite enough to bring this up to a 4 or 5 star rating for me. However, if what I've written above sounds interesting to you, then I recommend giving this collection a shot, because your mileage may vary.
Recommended to those with strong stomachs who are also fans of short horror stories!
*Thanks to Sinister Grin for providing me with a free e-copy of this book in exchange for my honest review. This is it!*
March 10, 2016
I love when an author does an anthology of their short stories. It's a great way to get to know an author you've never read before, and a lot of fun to see what authors you already know put together.
This one was really quite good. The stories in it are very creative, and you never know, when the story begins, just how it's going to end. In fact, several of them end abruptly, allowing my brain to continue wandering about how the story could go on.
The Trojan Plushy: Revenge is a wonderful thing, and what a way to get it! This definitely had some ups and downs, some twists and turns, and the end was not what I expected. A great beginning to this collection.
The Booglin: You ever have one of those boogers that you just can't get out of your nose, no matter what you do, one that leaves it stopped up and hard to breathe? That's what Carl is going through. But, as you might expect, that ends up being the beginning of his problems. And, as with the last story, the rollercoaster of events left me completely shocked at the end... and wanting so much more.
Eaten Un-Alive: This one is one of my favorites in the book, and because of this one, I kept reading the rest of the book, trying to see if the other stories compared. Vampires and Zombies? That's what this story has. When vampires need blood, but so many around have turned into zombies, finding "something to eat" isn't as easy as one would think. In fact, it's downright hard, no matter what lie you tell to gain entrance.
It's Nice Not to Have to Share: This one is my other favorite story, even though they were all enjoyable. This one gives you a hint of what is going on, but you don't find out until the end what exactly happened. I am not usually a fan of stories written in first person, but this one was done well and really puts you in the mind of the character.
Invasion: This story, at least in part, reminds me of a story that I tell quite often at the bakery. When I was younger, my older cousin loved raisins, and he never wanted me to eat his. To stop me, he told me that they were little roaches, but because I thought he was "so cool," I ate the mess out of those. The end of the story always goes, "Now that I'm older and I know the truth, they just aren't as good." Well, after reading this story, I am SO glad that they weren't really roaches. You never know WHAT could happen from eating those damn things.
Samurai Zombie Killer: This one had a bit of action, and definitely some drama. There's a samurai, his now-evil brother, and their beloved teacher. Lesson learned: Never doubt the honorability of a samurai, even when it comes to their own lives.
Small Town, Big Trouble: Could you kill a stranger if it meant saving your town? What about one a month for many many years? And what happens when you finally say enough is enough? I'll give you a hint - things don't end well. Did you expect any less from a horror novelist?
Bad Cutlery: I often joke that my kitchen knife speaks to me, telling me what to cook and when to cook it. I've called it my best friend, and envisioned it as part of my soul doing it's work helping me to come up with some really great dishes. After this story, though, I'm starting to rethink that relationship.
Potty Mouth: I was trying to describe this story to a friend of mine after I finished it. The only word I could come up with was "Yuck." Every parent has a different way of disciplining their children. Sometimes, though, the child just does not care, and continues on with the bad behavior, no matter what the parent says or does. In this story, eighteen year old Peter should have listened to his mother when he had the chance, because she doesn't punish like normal mothers. And when he doesn't learn his lesson, the punishment gets even worse. Definitely a must read.
STD: As you would expect from the name of the story, this one would make a GREAT commercial for condoms. Brian meets flight attendant Jackie in a bar one night, and the next morning awakens in her apartment with an unexpected growth on the end of his... well... you get where this is going. But, in all actuality, you have NO IDEA. I sat there for a few minutes after the end of this one, mouth wide open, just staring at my Kindle. Just... wow.
All-in-all, a damn good set of stories. I can't wait to see what David has to offer us next.
Note: I received a copy of this book in exchange for my HONEST review.
This one was really quite good. The stories in it are very creative, and you never know, when the story begins, just how it's going to end. In fact, several of them end abruptly, allowing my brain to continue wandering about how the story could go on.
The Trojan Plushy: Revenge is a wonderful thing, and what a way to get it! This definitely had some ups and downs, some twists and turns, and the end was not what I expected. A great beginning to this collection.
The Booglin: You ever have one of those boogers that you just can't get out of your nose, no matter what you do, one that leaves it stopped up and hard to breathe? That's what Carl is going through. But, as you might expect, that ends up being the beginning of his problems. And, as with the last story, the rollercoaster of events left me completely shocked at the end... and wanting so much more.
Eaten Un-Alive: This one is one of my favorites in the book, and because of this one, I kept reading the rest of the book, trying to see if the other stories compared. Vampires and Zombies? That's what this story has. When vampires need blood, but so many around have turned into zombies, finding "something to eat" isn't as easy as one would think. In fact, it's downright hard, no matter what lie you tell to gain entrance.
It's Nice Not to Have to Share: This one is my other favorite story, even though they were all enjoyable. This one gives you a hint of what is going on, but you don't find out until the end what exactly happened. I am not usually a fan of stories written in first person, but this one was done well and really puts you in the mind of the character.
Invasion: This story, at least in part, reminds me of a story that I tell quite often at the bakery. When I was younger, my older cousin loved raisins, and he never wanted me to eat his. To stop me, he told me that they were little roaches, but because I thought he was "so cool," I ate the mess out of those. The end of the story always goes, "Now that I'm older and I know the truth, they just aren't as good." Well, after reading this story, I am SO glad that they weren't really roaches. You never know WHAT could happen from eating those damn things.
Samurai Zombie Killer: This one had a bit of action, and definitely some drama. There's a samurai, his now-evil brother, and their beloved teacher. Lesson learned: Never doubt the honorability of a samurai, even when it comes to their own lives.
Small Town, Big Trouble: Could you kill a stranger if it meant saving your town? What about one a month for many many years? And what happens when you finally say enough is enough? I'll give you a hint - things don't end well. Did you expect any less from a horror novelist?
Bad Cutlery: I often joke that my kitchen knife speaks to me, telling me what to cook and when to cook it. I've called it my best friend, and envisioned it as part of my soul doing it's work helping me to come up with some really great dishes. After this story, though, I'm starting to rethink that relationship.
Potty Mouth: I was trying to describe this story to a friend of mine after I finished it. The only word I could come up with was "Yuck." Every parent has a different way of disciplining their children. Sometimes, though, the child just does not care, and continues on with the bad behavior, no matter what the parent says or does. In this story, eighteen year old Peter should have listened to his mother when he had the chance, because she doesn't punish like normal mothers. And when he doesn't learn his lesson, the punishment gets even worse. Definitely a must read.
STD: As you would expect from the name of the story, this one would make a GREAT commercial for condoms. Brian meets flight attendant Jackie in a bar one night, and the next morning awakens in her apartment with an unexpected growth on the end of his... well... you get where this is going. But, in all actuality, you have NO IDEA. I sat there for a few minutes after the end of this one, mouth wide open, just staring at my Kindle. Just... wow.
All-in-all, a damn good set of stories. I can't wait to see what David has to offer us next.
Note: I received a copy of this book in exchange for my HONEST review.
March 15, 2016
Review Copy
I've read several works by David Bernstein in the last few years and I've mentioned once or twice that no one is safe in one of his stories. It's nice to know I'm not alone in this observation. Author Kristopher Rufty echoes that sentiment in his Introduction to A Mixed Bag of Blood, saying "Nothing, or no one, is safe in Dave's worlds."
There are some very good stories in this new collection of ten horror tales from a writer who knows how to push all of my buttons, scary, gory, gross, and at times humorous.
The Trojan Plushy - The collection starts with a tale of sweet revenge. When the man responsible for the death of Brad Raling's wife and daughter gets off on a technicality, he reaches out to a witch seeking vengeance.
The Booglin - A delightfully disgusting tale of an intelligent booger. Dave's imagination was working overtime on this one.
Eaten Un-Alive - A thoroughly enjoyable "what if?" story of what happens when the zombie apocalypse dries up the food supply for vampires.
It's Nice Not To Have To Share - A special set of twin sisters who share everything...until.
Invasion - The aliens are here and they plan to use cockroaches to get rid of humankind. This one is exceptionally gross. "Hundreds of cockroaches scurried out of, and across, his body. His left eye tickled from within, as if someone were brushing it with a feather. Immense pressure built behind the eyeball before it burst like a water balloon, the glutinous fluids inside running down his face, a cockroach crawling free."
Samurai Zombie Killer - The title says all you need to know about this unusual take on the zombie mythos.
Small Town, Big Trouble - A small town is terrorized for years by a bigfoot like creature. When the town guardians decide to take action, lookout for the twist.
Bad Cutlery - Knives don't kill people, people kill people, but knives can certainly talk them into doing the deed.
Potty Mouth - Peter has a bit of a potty mouth and his mother, who happens to be a witch, has had it. You won't believe the punishment she comes up with in this stomach turning gem.
STD - Not for the easily offended and certainly not for the kids. This cringe-worthy story was enough to cause me to consider a life of celibacy.
If you like to be grossed out by your horror and don't mind suspending your disbelief for a few hours, I'm pretty sure you'll enjoy this demented collection of horror from David Bernstein as much as I did.
A Mixed Bag of Blood is available now in both e-book and paperback from Sinister Grin Press. If you subscribe to Kindle Unlimited you can read this one at no additional charge and if you are an Amazon Prime member you can borrow the book for FREE from the Kindle Owners Lending Library.
Recommended.
David Bernstein is originally from a small town in Upstate New York. He now resides in NYC and misses being surrounded by chainsaw-wielding maniacs. David writes all kinds of horror, from hair-raising ghost stories to gore-filled slashers and apocalyptic tales of terror.
I've read several works by David Bernstein in the last few years and I've mentioned once or twice that no one is safe in one of his stories. It's nice to know I'm not alone in this observation. Author Kristopher Rufty echoes that sentiment in his Introduction to A Mixed Bag of Blood, saying "Nothing, or no one, is safe in Dave's worlds."
There are some very good stories in this new collection of ten horror tales from a writer who knows how to push all of my buttons, scary, gory, gross, and at times humorous.
The Trojan Plushy - The collection starts with a tale of sweet revenge. When the man responsible for the death of Brad Raling's wife and daughter gets off on a technicality, he reaches out to a witch seeking vengeance.
The Booglin - A delightfully disgusting tale of an intelligent booger. Dave's imagination was working overtime on this one.
Eaten Un-Alive - A thoroughly enjoyable "what if?" story of what happens when the zombie apocalypse dries up the food supply for vampires.
It's Nice Not To Have To Share - A special set of twin sisters who share everything...until.
Invasion - The aliens are here and they plan to use cockroaches to get rid of humankind. This one is exceptionally gross. "Hundreds of cockroaches scurried out of, and across, his body. His left eye tickled from within, as if someone were brushing it with a feather. Immense pressure built behind the eyeball before it burst like a water balloon, the glutinous fluids inside running down his face, a cockroach crawling free."
Samurai Zombie Killer - The title says all you need to know about this unusual take on the zombie mythos.
Small Town, Big Trouble - A small town is terrorized for years by a bigfoot like creature. When the town guardians decide to take action, lookout for the twist.
Bad Cutlery - Knives don't kill people, people kill people, but knives can certainly talk them into doing the deed.
Potty Mouth - Peter has a bit of a potty mouth and his mother, who happens to be a witch, has had it. You won't believe the punishment she comes up with in this stomach turning gem.
STD - Not for the easily offended and certainly not for the kids. This cringe-worthy story was enough to cause me to consider a life of celibacy.
If you like to be grossed out by your horror and don't mind suspending your disbelief for a few hours, I'm pretty sure you'll enjoy this demented collection of horror from David Bernstein as much as I did.
A Mixed Bag of Blood is available now in both e-book and paperback from Sinister Grin Press. If you subscribe to Kindle Unlimited you can read this one at no additional charge and if you are an Amazon Prime member you can borrow the book for FREE from the Kindle Owners Lending Library.
Recommended.
David Bernstein is originally from a small town in Upstate New York. He now resides in NYC and misses being surrounded by chainsaw-wielding maniacs. David writes all kinds of horror, from hair-raising ghost stories to gore-filled slashers and apocalyptic tales of terror.
May 22, 2016
A collection of short stories from David Bernstein. Here we go:
The Trojan Plushy -
Another revenge tale that combines the werewolf with witchcraft and the Trojan Horse. Has a Twilight Zone-kind of feel.
4 out of 5 stars
The Booglin -
You'll think twice the next time you have a booger stuck and it won't come out. Fun, silly story.
4 out of 5 stars
Eaten Un-Alive -
Life isn't easy when you're a vampire in a zombie apocalypse.
4 1/2 out of 5 stars
It's Nice Not To Have To Share -
Georgia shares everything with her sister Gerri, but some things she wants to keep to herself.
3 out of 5 stars
Invasion -
Aliens plan to overtake earth by imitating a cockroach and using the neighborhood adolescent psycho.
4 out of 5 stars
Samurai Zombie Killer
A zombie contagion in the water supply of the local samurai warrior.
3 out of 5 stars
Small Town, Big Trouble -
The werewolf legend to help explain Sasquatch. I love it.
5 out of 5 stars
Bad Cutlery -
When good knives go bad. A fun possessed object story.
4 1/2 out of 5 stars
Potty Mouth -
This is one messed up story! I won't even try to explain it. It's simply something you'll have to experience for yourself. Kudos to Bernstein for probably the most far out there original tale I have ever read! You need professional help, sir!
5 out of 5 stars
STD -
If you weren't convinced to practice safe sex before, you will be by the time you finish this story.
5 out of 5 stars
All in all, a nice collection of macabre tales. There were only a couple that didn't do it for me. The rest were fun and there were even some that I have to question Bernstein's sanity or blood alcohol level. Good stuff.
Overall:
4 1/2 Bags of Blood out of 5
You can also follow my reviews at the following links:
https://kenmckinley.wordpress.com
http://intothemacabre.booklikes.com
https://www.goodreads.com/user/show/5...
The Trojan Plushy -
Another revenge tale that combines the werewolf with witchcraft and the Trojan Horse. Has a Twilight Zone-kind of feel.
4 out of 5 stars
The Booglin -
You'll think twice the next time you have a booger stuck and it won't come out. Fun, silly story.
4 out of 5 stars
Eaten Un-Alive -
Life isn't easy when you're a vampire in a zombie apocalypse.
4 1/2 out of 5 stars
It's Nice Not To Have To Share -
Georgia shares everything with her sister Gerri, but some things she wants to keep to herself.
3 out of 5 stars
Invasion -
Aliens plan to overtake earth by imitating a cockroach and using the neighborhood adolescent psycho.
4 out of 5 stars
Samurai Zombie Killer
A zombie contagion in the water supply of the local samurai warrior.
3 out of 5 stars
Small Town, Big Trouble -
The werewolf legend to help explain Sasquatch. I love it.
5 out of 5 stars
Bad Cutlery -
When good knives go bad. A fun possessed object story.
4 1/2 out of 5 stars
Potty Mouth -
This is one messed up story! I won't even try to explain it. It's simply something you'll have to experience for yourself. Kudos to Bernstein for probably the most far out there original tale I have ever read! You need professional help, sir!
5 out of 5 stars
STD -
If you weren't convinced to practice safe sex before, you will be by the time you finish this story.
5 out of 5 stars
All in all, a nice collection of macabre tales. There were only a couple that didn't do it for me. The rest were fun and there were even some that I have to question Bernstein's sanity or blood alcohol level. Good stuff.
Overall:
4 1/2 Bags of Blood out of 5
You can also follow my reviews at the following links:
https://kenmckinley.wordpress.com
http://intothemacabre.booklikes.com
https://www.goodreads.com/user/show/5...
Want to read
January 28, 2016This is copy 14 of 60 copies signed and numbered by David Bernstein.
March 17, 2016
Like the title suggests, nay warns, this read is a mixed bag of blood. It hits on the darkness, it nails the disgusting, and taps on all points in between. Definite kudos to Mr. Bernstein for offering up a smorgasbord of differing tales, showcasing the many angles with which he can come at you. A lot of collections (a lot of authors period) tend to keep things at a constant theme throughout, so it's nice, as my first David Bernstein read, to get a gamut of his styles, to see what appeals to me personally, but also to see what doesn't.
Let's get this out of the way first. I am not a fan of stories that rely heavily on the bodily function gross-out horror (book or film). I can't tell you why other than simply, it's doesn't appeal to me. Never has. So deciding on a score for this book is tough when three out of ten of these stories lost me rather immediately (The Booglin kinda won me back, but that one was more weird than gross). Potty Mouth & STD, nope, not my bread and butter.
Of what remains is a handful of fun, violent, twisted each in their own way, set of yarns. There are a lot of enjoyable, memorable moments to satiate your bloodlust, rattle your nerves, or simply make you smile and nod your head.
Small Town, Big Trouble is my favorite piece overall. I was really into the main characters and their legacy, their burden. This is the story I would have loved to be longer as I was invested into the towns plight immediately. Samurai Zombie Killer, self explanatory title, is another fun piece. I would have also liked to spend a little more time in this world, but as is, it's wet, chunky and satisfying. Invasion with its twisted protagonist, The Trojan Plushy with its arguably justifiable revenge, are two other tales that piqued my interest quickly. Tapping into hunger for a solid, grisly encounter.
While Mixed Bag of Blood may not, as a whole, be fully compatible with everyone, if you are a reader of jarring dark fiction then there will definitely be something here entice you, push your buttons. I dig David's style, the twists he brings to tried and true themes are entertaining and I'll definitely read more from him in the future, with a couple of titles I already have my eye on. I'll just steer clear of the gross-out stuff, but you, yeah you, just may be into it. Check it out.
Overall personal score: 3/ 5
Weighted score for the fans that dig gross-out as well: 4/ 5
Zakk is a big dumb animal!
The Eyes of Madness
Www.facebook.com/themouthsofmadness
**Note: I received a digital copy of this book for review from the publisher/ publicist on the promise of an honest review. These are my unbiased feelings.
Let's get this out of the way first. I am not a fan of stories that rely heavily on the bodily function gross-out horror (book or film). I can't tell you why other than simply, it's doesn't appeal to me. Never has. So deciding on a score for this book is tough when three out of ten of these stories lost me rather immediately (The Booglin kinda won me back, but that one was more weird than gross). Potty Mouth & STD, nope, not my bread and butter.
Of what remains is a handful of fun, violent, twisted each in their own way, set of yarns. There are a lot of enjoyable, memorable moments to satiate your bloodlust, rattle your nerves, or simply make you smile and nod your head.
Small Town, Big Trouble is my favorite piece overall. I was really into the main characters and their legacy, their burden. This is the story I would have loved to be longer as I was invested into the towns plight immediately. Samurai Zombie Killer, self explanatory title, is another fun piece. I would have also liked to spend a little more time in this world, but as is, it's wet, chunky and satisfying. Invasion with its twisted protagonist, The Trojan Plushy with its arguably justifiable revenge, are two other tales that piqued my interest quickly. Tapping into hunger for a solid, grisly encounter.
While Mixed Bag of Blood may not, as a whole, be fully compatible with everyone, if you are a reader of jarring dark fiction then there will definitely be something here entice you, push your buttons. I dig David's style, the twists he brings to tried and true themes are entertaining and I'll definitely read more from him in the future, with a couple of titles I already have my eye on. I'll just steer clear of the gross-out stuff, but you, yeah you, just may be into it. Check it out.
Overall personal score: 3/ 5
Weighted score for the fans that dig gross-out as well: 4/ 5
Zakk is a big dumb animal!
The Eyes of Madness
Www.facebook.com/themouthsofmadness
**Note: I received a digital copy of this book for review from the publisher/ publicist on the promise of an honest review. These are my unbiased feelings.
March 18, 2016
I received a copy of this eBook in exchange for an honest review. This is in no way reflected in my opinion.
A Mixed Bag Of Blood is not for the faint of heart or the weak of stomach! This collection of stories is filled with horror, humor and more than a few moments of serious eww. Some of my favorite stories were The Trojan Plushy, a tale of revenge that will make you take a closer look at your stuffed animals. Invasion was as disturbing as it was great, and Small Town, Big Trouble had me hooked right away, I would have loved it to have been longer. The only story that I didn't love was Potty Mouth, there are just no words,,, Fans of tongue-in-cheek horror like Tales From The Crypt will find much to love in this horrific and gory collection. I highly recommend this 4.5 star read.
A Mixed Bag Of Blood is not for the faint of heart or the weak of stomach! This collection of stories is filled with horror, humor and more than a few moments of serious eww. Some of my favorite stories were The Trojan Plushy, a tale of revenge that will make you take a closer look at your stuffed animals. Invasion was as disturbing as it was great, and Small Town, Big Trouble had me hooked right away, I would have loved it to have been longer. The only story that I didn't love was Potty Mouth, there are just no words,,, Fans of tongue-in-cheek horror like Tales From The Crypt will find much to love in this horrific and gory collection. I highly recommend this 4.5 star read.
March 17, 2016
Review: A MIXED BAG OF BLOOD by David Bernstein
Author David Bernstein possesses an imagination which leaves me awestruck. His newest short story collection, A MIXED BAG OF BLOOD, crosses the range. It's not thematic, and much is unexpected ["how does he imagine these things??] but it's unremittingly excellent writing, and completely horrifying. Something for everyone here, and a good introduction to this fine author.
Author David Bernstein possesses an imagination which leaves me awestruck. His newest short story collection, A MIXED BAG OF BLOOD, crosses the range. It's not thematic, and much is unexpected ["how does he imagine these things??] but it's unremittingly excellent writing, and completely horrifying. Something for everyone here, and a good introduction to this fine author.
February 29, 2016
3.8 stars.
"To summarise: a very varied range of short stories that will scare you, gross you out but most importantly, keep you entertained. Not all for me but they may be all for you."
See here for the full review:
A Mixed Bag of Blood
"To summarise: a very varied range of short stories that will scare you, gross you out but most importantly, keep you entertained. Not all for me but they may be all for you."
See here for the full review:
A Mixed Bag of Blood
December 14, 2017
I'd write a full review but the temptation to make a "mixed bag" reference is just too strong within me. I know it would be horrendous and in bad taste, and everybody who has read this book has thought the same thing, but the temptation to throw that joke in is becoming more than a temptation. It's becoming quite the itch. And the only way to take care of that itch is to scratch it, so ...
The Good: The Booglin, Invasion, Potty Mouth and STD.
(That itch is driving me a little crazy now ...)
The Less Good: The Trojan Plushy, Samurai Zombie Killer and It's Not Nice to Have to Share (way too obvious).
The rest were all just okay. (Must scratch!)
And you know what you have when there's some good, some less good, and some indifferent things on your hands, right? Ha! Hahahahaha! RIGHT!? ...
3 MIXED BAGS for A Mixed Bag of Blood.
The Good: The Booglin, Invasion, Potty Mouth and STD.
(That itch is driving me a little crazy now ...)
The Less Good: The Trojan Plushy, Samurai Zombie Killer and It's Not Nice to Have to Share (way too obvious).
The rest were all just okay. (Must scratch!)
And you know what you have when there's some good, some less good, and some indifferent things on your hands, right? Ha! Hahahahaha! RIGHT!? ...
3 MIXED BAGS for A Mixed Bag of Blood.
March 27, 2016
Rating - 4 1/2 stars.
Confession - I have never read anything by David Bernstein. Sure, I've seen plenty of his stories fly across my Facebook and Goodreads feeds, but then I saw a way to correct that - his story collection, Mixed Bag of Blood.
Mixed Bag of Blood is a great collection of short stories, each an individual horrific facet together making up a perfect, gory gem. I think that any horror fan would be hard pressed to not find a great story within. From samurai fighting zombies to a small town and their creature demanding sacrifices to the perils of unprotected sex, Mixed Bag of Blood has a little something for everyone. Although not for the squeamish, this collection really showcases the writing prowess of David Bernstein. He has made a new fan out of this reader and I personally can't wait to dive into some of the other yarns he has to offer.
Confession - I have never read anything by David Bernstein. Sure, I've seen plenty of his stories fly across my Facebook and Goodreads feeds, but then I saw a way to correct that - his story collection, Mixed Bag of Blood.
Mixed Bag of Blood is a great collection of short stories, each an individual horrific facet together making up a perfect, gory gem. I think that any horror fan would be hard pressed to not find a great story within. From samurai fighting zombies to a small town and their creature demanding sacrifices to the perils of unprotected sex, Mixed Bag of Blood has a little something for everyone. Although not for the squeamish, this collection really showcases the writing prowess of David Bernstein. He has made a new fan out of this reader and I personally can't wait to dive into some of the other yarns he has to offer.
March 11, 2016
This really is a mixed bag of short stories. There's something for everyone in this collection. You know how usually you like some and not others? I think you'll have a tough time picking your favorite story here. Some were really horrendous. I loved those best of all. I'm funny that way. Make me queasy and I'll remember you. Roaches and serial killers, sex (lots of sex) toilets and boogers. Dave Bernstein let his mind wander and his pen write where I know you'll want to read.
With an introduction by Kristopher Rufty, this is a reason to stay at home and read on a pleasant Saturday afternoon like I did.
I was given an electronic version of A MIXED BAG OF BLOOD in exchange for my review.
With an introduction by Kristopher Rufty, this is a reason to stay at home and read on a pleasant Saturday afternoon like I did.
I was given an electronic version of A MIXED BAG OF BLOOD in exchange for my review.
March 23, 2016
Review from: http://beneaththeunderground.com
A relative newcomer to the most recent generation of horror writers, David Bernstein has already amassed a lot of respect from myself and other lovers of horror fiction. From recent entries like Skinner and Goblins to his collaborative effort Jackpot, which I usually rant about my love for in most of my reviews, David’s writing has a cinematic flare that avoids the pitfalls of reading like a script. The quick punch to the gut nature of his style is one of the most energetic examples of narrative currently in horror. Having only read novellas and novels from him, I was delighted to jump at the chance to read and review his current short story collection which is just as fantastic as I was hoping.
A Mixed Bag of Blood certainly delivers in the promise of its title. Each story offers its own style and avoids repetition. Not every story is a new spin on old tropes, although Bernstein manages to deliver fun and excitement on every page nullifying the need for inventiveness. Not that the stories aren’t clever, this book delivers on wild ideas. Take for instance The Trojan Plushy, the collection’s first story. Here we have a revenge narrative that presents an interesting twist on werewolf stories. Heavily influenced by the structure of an episode of The Twilight Zone, this story feels at home with something Richard Matheson could have written. The Booglin goes on to offer a twisted science fiction/horror tale about a cognitive booger that ruins a date night. Veering almost into Shane McKenzie territory, this one offers plenty of cringe inducing surprises.
Eaten Un-Alive sports the tragedy of being a vampire during a zombie apocalypse. Not as funny as it sounds, this story packs an emotional punch that lingers after the final paragraphs. From there, we move on to It’s Nice Not to Have to Share, a tale of two extremely close sisters. An odd story, this may have been the least memorable but still entertaining. The goosebumps giving Invasion is next up. This story centers on an alien invasion through assimilation of cockroaches. This one got under my skin and chilled me the entire time. Timmy, the boy in which the story follows, is a sick little bastard.
Next up is Samurai Zombie Killer, which is exactly what you think it is. It also just so happens to be my favorite story in the collection. As tiring as zombies can be, this story is a genuinely unique take on the worn out genre. Being a huge fan of samurai films and stories, this one hit heavy with me. Bernstein does a tremendous job of capturing the era and tone expertly. I’m dying to get a novella out of this one. Small Town, Big Trouble offers a wonderfully new spin on sasquatch mythos. Easily the most horrific of the bunch, this is a tense story that starts as a slasher and moves to something much greater.
Continue reading at: http://beneaththeunderground.com/book...
March 15, 2016
I received a copy of this for an honest review.
This collection starts off with an introduction by Kristopher Rufty, a great writer in his own right.
I like David Bernstein's work. His longer work. I had not read a short story by him until I read this collection. I found this collection to be a literal mixed bag of stories. Some where fantastic, and others not so much. The problem, in my opinion is the fact that they range greatly from straightforward horror to humorous horror, and just plain bizarro horror. I had come to expect mostly the straightforward horror from Bernstein, from titles such as, Relic of Death, Witch Island, and Jackpot. While the latter had some humor in it, it was not the kind found in this collection. That being said I did enjoy some of the humorous ones, and even the over the top stories, such as Potty Mouth, had its moments.
My favorites in the collection are:
Trojan Plushy, Booglin , Bad Cutlery, Small Town Big Trouble, It's Nice Not to Have to Share, and Eaten Unalive.
These went from supernatural revenge, to an evil booger. Yes he has range and these very different types of stories help to illustrate that. His writing is crisp, clean and his stories are very entertaining.
David Bernstein knows how to create suspense and how to tell a story. That is apparent throughout the collection even though , on a personal level, few missed the mark for me.
Potty Mouth was gross and that was fine, but it was a bizarro type story, and I could not really get into it, though the payoff was great, I found it lacking. STD was in the same vein for me. The last few stories were ok. I guess the mixed bag was not so mixed after all. I read all of the stories, not skipping any of them and was satisfied by the book as a whole. I would recommend, if you are new to the author, one of his longer works first.
This collection starts off with an introduction by Kristopher Rufty, a great writer in his own right.
I like David Bernstein's work. His longer work. I had not read a short story by him until I read this collection. I found this collection to be a literal mixed bag of stories. Some where fantastic, and others not so much. The problem, in my opinion is the fact that they range greatly from straightforward horror to humorous horror, and just plain bizarro horror. I had come to expect mostly the straightforward horror from Bernstein, from titles such as, Relic of Death, Witch Island, and Jackpot. While the latter had some humor in it, it was not the kind found in this collection. That being said I did enjoy some of the humorous ones, and even the over the top stories, such as Potty Mouth, had its moments.
My favorites in the collection are:
Trojan Plushy, Booglin , Bad Cutlery, Small Town Big Trouble, It's Nice Not to Have to Share, and Eaten Unalive.
These went from supernatural revenge, to an evil booger. Yes he has range and these very different types of stories help to illustrate that. His writing is crisp, clean and his stories are very entertaining.
David Bernstein knows how to create suspense and how to tell a story. That is apparent throughout the collection even though , on a personal level, few missed the mark for me.
Potty Mouth was gross and that was fine, but it was a bizarro type story, and I could not really get into it, though the payoff was great, I found it lacking. STD was in the same vein for me. The last few stories were ok. I guess the mixed bag was not so mixed after all. I read all of the stories, not skipping any of them and was satisfied by the book as a whole. I would recommend, if you are new to the author, one of his longer works first.
July 5, 2016
I have to admit that I'm not a big reader of short stories. I prefer stories that require more of a time investment. In other words, novels. However, the exception to that are horror short stories. I love them. I read my first scary short stories as a child. Remember those anthologies of ghost stories you could order from the Scholastic book flyer? I later graduated to Stephen King's short stories and many of his are among my favorites. I think horror works for me in short story format (unlike other genres) because horror can be such a fast paced medium. For instance, horror films are usually no more than 2 hours long, but they still pack a punch. Did I mention that horror films are my favorite? But I digress. What I'm getting at here is that I love horror short stories, especially those that are as good as the stories in A Mixed Bag of Blood.
I love horror that pulls no punches and this author knows his stuff when it comes to that. Some of the stories are a play on our fears of foreign invasion, whether it be in our world, or our bodies. Others bring forth the monsters we're terrified of...zombies, vampires, Bigfoot (we lived in a house surrounded by woods when I was growing up, and yes, I was terrified of Bigfoot. Don't laugh). Some are very gross, yet funny in their message while still being horrific. I'm not going to go into detail because short stories are very easy to spoil for others. Suffice it to say that each story has something to offer.
This slim volume of 125 pages contains 10 stories. I enjoyed every one of them. This "Mixed Bag of Blood" is a must read for any horror fan. I mean it.
(I received a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review)
I love horror that pulls no punches and this author knows his stuff when it comes to that. Some of the stories are a play on our fears of foreign invasion, whether it be in our world, or our bodies. Others bring forth the monsters we're terrified of...zombies, vampires, Bigfoot (we lived in a house surrounded by woods when I was growing up, and yes, I was terrified of Bigfoot. Don't laugh). Some are very gross, yet funny in their message while still being horrific. I'm not going to go into detail because short stories are very easy to spoil for others. Suffice it to say that each story has something to offer.
This slim volume of 125 pages contains 10 stories. I enjoyed every one of them. This "Mixed Bag of Blood" is a must read for any horror fan. I mean it.
(I received a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review)
August 28, 2020
This book is a must-read for any fan of The Twilight Zone and horror.
Although a few of the stories were straight-up disgusting and vomit inducing, not one of the stories in this anthology were bad. Every single entry in this collection was creative and imaginative and will have you asking for more by the time you're done with it. Here's how I rank each story in terms of quality.
1. Eaten Un-Alive - Vampires scraping by in a zombie apocalypse where most of their food source (humans) are wiped out. I'd love to see a full-length novel set in this world.
2. Small Town, Big Trouble - Family man must kill one innocent person a month for a noble cause. Great story which reminded me alot of "The Woods Are Dark", by Richard Laymon.
3. Samurai Zombie Killer - The Undead have been unleashed upon an feudal Japanese town and its up to one Samurai to put an end to it. The author does a great job of setting up the environment/atmosphere and the entire time reading this story I felt as if I were watching "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon" with zombies.
4. The Trojan Plushy - A man who loses his family to a drunk driver looks to the supernatural to seek revenge. This tale felt the most like an episode of the "Twilight Zone". Great story.
5. The Booglin - A man fights to remove a sentient booger from his nasal cavity, but once he removes it the Booglin seeks revenge. Creative story which takes a gruesome and dark turn.
6. Its Not Nice To Have To Share - Siamese twin will do whatever it takes to have some privacy and carve out a life for herself. Fun story, but very predictable.
7. Potty Mouth - A witchcraft practicing mother decides to teach her foul-mouthed son a valuable lesson about using bad language. Hands down the most disgusting story in this collection. Its not for the faint-hearted, but its very entertaining.
8. Invasion - Young serial killer in the making unknowingly aids in an alien invasion and gets a bit of cosmic justice in the process. Good story, but the obnoxious main character dampens it a bit.
9. STD - A young bachelor wakes up with an unfortunate growth on a certain organ after a one-night stand with a beautiful woman. Not the best story in this collection, but still entertaining.
10. Bad Cutlery - A couple comes across a possessed knife that attempts to convince them to do the unthinkable to each other. Good story, but is ultimately forgettable and I feel like more could've been done with the premise.
Although a few of the stories were straight-up disgusting and vomit inducing, not one of the stories in this anthology were bad. Every single entry in this collection was creative and imaginative and will have you asking for more by the time you're done with it. Here's how I rank each story in terms of quality.
1. Eaten Un-Alive - Vampires scraping by in a zombie apocalypse where most of their food source (humans) are wiped out. I'd love to see a full-length novel set in this world.
2. Small Town, Big Trouble - Family man must kill one innocent person a month for a noble cause. Great story which reminded me alot of "The Woods Are Dark", by Richard Laymon.
3. Samurai Zombie Killer - The Undead have been unleashed upon an feudal Japanese town and its up to one Samurai to put an end to it. The author does a great job of setting up the environment/atmosphere and the entire time reading this story I felt as if I were watching "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon" with zombies.
4. The Trojan Plushy - A man who loses his family to a drunk driver looks to the supernatural to seek revenge. This tale felt the most like an episode of the "Twilight Zone". Great story.
5. The Booglin - A man fights to remove a sentient booger from his nasal cavity, but once he removes it the Booglin seeks revenge. Creative story which takes a gruesome and dark turn.
6. Its Not Nice To Have To Share - Siamese twin will do whatever it takes to have some privacy and carve out a life for herself. Fun story, but very predictable.
7. Potty Mouth - A witchcraft practicing mother decides to teach her foul-mouthed son a valuable lesson about using bad language. Hands down the most disgusting story in this collection. Its not for the faint-hearted, but its very entertaining.
8. Invasion - Young serial killer in the making unknowingly aids in an alien invasion and gets a bit of cosmic justice in the process. Good story, but the obnoxious main character dampens it a bit.
9. STD - A young bachelor wakes up with an unfortunate growth on a certain organ after a one-night stand with a beautiful woman. Not the best story in this collection, but still entertaining.
10. Bad Cutlery - A couple comes across a possessed knife that attempts to convince them to do the unthinkable to each other. Good story, but is ultimately forgettable and I feel like more could've been done with the premise.
June 25, 2016
Review copy provided in exchange for an honest review
My introduction to David Bernstein's work was through his bleak 2014 novel The Unhinged. I remember reading this novel and being blown away by Bernstein's depiction of extreme horror with antagonists capable of truly horrific brutality. While the engaging and inventive plot is what initially drew me into The Unhinged, the things that I really enjoyed was Bernstein's unflinching approach to putting his characters through the wringer and his ability to keep readers guessing. Just when it seemed clear where the story was going, Bernstein would throw a curveball that took the reader to totally unexpected places.
That same sense of unpredictability is found in Bernstein's short story collection A Mixed Bag of Blood. A Mixed Bag of Blood is a relatively short collection at 86 pages, but Bernstein manages to take readers on a thrilling journey by offering up ten stories that run the gamut from straightforward horror to bizarre, gross-out stories that will make your stomach churn! I enjoyed the collection as a whole, but the following stories were clear-cut favorites.
"The Trojan Plushy" - This story follows Brad Raling, whose family was killed by a drunk driver who gets off the hook due to breathalyzer recall. After spending weeks in a tailspin of despair, Brad gets a visit from his neighbor Miss Conrad, the neighborhood recluse. She brings him a pie that contains an ominous note that offers him the possibility to get the justice he craves. The set-up for this story seems like your standard revenge tale, but Bernstein throws in plenty of unexpected twists that make for an exciting and violent opening to the collection that grips you right away. I don't want to give too much away about what happens, but Bernstein crafts an ending that packs a powerful, emotional impact.
"Eaten Un-Alive "- This is one of my favorite stories in A Mixed Bag of Blood. Here, Bernstein lays out a scenario where vampires around the world are struggling to survive as zombies begin to overrun civilization. This story details the journey of a vampire named Remington as he scours the countryside in a desperate attempt to survive. Just when Remington is about to give up his search for the blood he desperately needs, he stumbles upon a house that offers the first sign of life in days. While this seems to be the answer to Remington's problems, the situation is not all that it appears to be.
I absolutely loved the premise of this story and it combines two of my all-time favorite horror creatures - zombies and vampires. Even though Remington is a monster, he is bursting with personality and you are instantly drawn into his journey. It was also interesting to read this type of story told from the perspective of another undead character as it poses a whole different set of challenges than a traditional zombie story.
"Invasion" - As soon as I read the first paragraph of this one and figured out that it was an alien story, I was instantly sold. However, this isn't your typical alien invasion story and that is part of what makes this such an interesting story. The aliens mechanism for world domination is a modified cockroach and when it crosses paths with a terrifying young boy named Timmy, the results are shocking. The ending of "Invasion" is incredibly cool, but I have warn you, it will probably make you itch for days!
"Samurai Zombie Killer" - This is probably my overall favorite story from A Mixed Bag of Blood. This is the story of Kenji Matsuko, a samurai who is tasked by his master on his deathbed to confront his brother Makito, who is dabbling in the dark arts. The title pretty much says it all when it comes to what to expect from this story. I have read a ton of zombie stories and although I can appreciate the straight forward takes on these creatures, I love when an author manages to do something original with the mythology. While I can appreciate "Samurai Zombie Killer" as a standalone short story, I wish Bernstein would flesh out this story into a full-length novel or novella. I never would have thought of pairing zombies and samurais together in a million years, but now that I have read this story, I can't imagine how someone didn't write one sooner!
"Small Town, Big Trouble" - There is so much to love about this story, I don't know where to begin! "Small Town, Big Trouble" takes a small town that has been hiding a sinister secret for generations. Four families are tasked with protecting the town and its secrets, but years of stress and guilt drive two men who belong to the inner circle to take a stand in an attempt to end the horror once and for all. I don't want to spoil too much of this story, but Bernstein manages to take a well-known legend and craft a highly enjoyable short story that once again shows off his imagination.
In addition to these stories, Bernstein also introduces readers to a sentient booger, a cautionary tale about buying things at yard sales, and a slew of other creepy stories. What I like the most about this collection is that it shows off Bernstein's versatility as an author. Bernstein unleashes a variety of styles throughout A Mixed Bag of Blood, so there is a story in there for all horror fans regardless of what type of horror they are into. Some of these styles weren't what I would normally read on my own - "The Booglin" and "Pottymouth" immediately come to mind - but in the context of this collection, they work extremely well and I found them to be enjoyable reads. It was a lot of fun reading this collection and not really knowing what to expect from one story to the next.
While the stories collected in A Mixed Bag of Blood are wildly diverse in terms of style and subject matter, one thing that is consistent throughout the collection is a sense of fun that makes this a collection that is very easy to finish in one sitting. So, if you are willing to be a little adventurous in trying out different styles of horror, I highly recommend grabbing a copy of A Mixed Bag of Blood!
My introduction to David Bernstein's work was through his bleak 2014 novel The Unhinged. I remember reading this novel and being blown away by Bernstein's depiction of extreme horror with antagonists capable of truly horrific brutality. While the engaging and inventive plot is what initially drew me into The Unhinged, the things that I really enjoyed was Bernstein's unflinching approach to putting his characters through the wringer and his ability to keep readers guessing. Just when it seemed clear where the story was going, Bernstein would throw a curveball that took the reader to totally unexpected places.
That same sense of unpredictability is found in Bernstein's short story collection A Mixed Bag of Blood. A Mixed Bag of Blood is a relatively short collection at 86 pages, but Bernstein manages to take readers on a thrilling journey by offering up ten stories that run the gamut from straightforward horror to bizarre, gross-out stories that will make your stomach churn! I enjoyed the collection as a whole, but the following stories were clear-cut favorites.
"The Trojan Plushy" - This story follows Brad Raling, whose family was killed by a drunk driver who gets off the hook due to breathalyzer recall. After spending weeks in a tailspin of despair, Brad gets a visit from his neighbor Miss Conrad, the neighborhood recluse. She brings him a pie that contains an ominous note that offers him the possibility to get the justice he craves. The set-up for this story seems like your standard revenge tale, but Bernstein throws in plenty of unexpected twists that make for an exciting and violent opening to the collection that grips you right away. I don't want to give too much away about what happens, but Bernstein crafts an ending that packs a powerful, emotional impact.
"Eaten Un-Alive "- This is one of my favorite stories in A Mixed Bag of Blood. Here, Bernstein lays out a scenario where vampires around the world are struggling to survive as zombies begin to overrun civilization. This story details the journey of a vampire named Remington as he scours the countryside in a desperate attempt to survive. Just when Remington is about to give up his search for the blood he desperately needs, he stumbles upon a house that offers the first sign of life in days. While this seems to be the answer to Remington's problems, the situation is not all that it appears to be.
I absolutely loved the premise of this story and it combines two of my all-time favorite horror creatures - zombies and vampires. Even though Remington is a monster, he is bursting with personality and you are instantly drawn into his journey. It was also interesting to read this type of story told from the perspective of another undead character as it poses a whole different set of challenges than a traditional zombie story.
"Invasion" - As soon as I read the first paragraph of this one and figured out that it was an alien story, I was instantly sold. However, this isn't your typical alien invasion story and that is part of what makes this such an interesting story. The aliens mechanism for world domination is a modified cockroach and when it crosses paths with a terrifying young boy named Timmy, the results are shocking. The ending of "Invasion" is incredibly cool, but I have warn you, it will probably make you itch for days!
"Samurai Zombie Killer" - This is probably my overall favorite story from A Mixed Bag of Blood. This is the story of Kenji Matsuko, a samurai who is tasked by his master on his deathbed to confront his brother Makito, who is dabbling in the dark arts. The title pretty much says it all when it comes to what to expect from this story. I have read a ton of zombie stories and although I can appreciate the straight forward takes on these creatures, I love when an author manages to do something original with the mythology. While I can appreciate "Samurai Zombie Killer" as a standalone short story, I wish Bernstein would flesh out this story into a full-length novel or novella. I never would have thought of pairing zombies and samurais together in a million years, but now that I have read this story, I can't imagine how someone didn't write one sooner!
"Small Town, Big Trouble" - There is so much to love about this story, I don't know where to begin! "Small Town, Big Trouble" takes a small town that has been hiding a sinister secret for generations. Four families are tasked with protecting the town and its secrets, but years of stress and guilt drive two men who belong to the inner circle to take a stand in an attempt to end the horror once and for all. I don't want to spoil too much of this story, but Bernstein manages to take a well-known legend and craft a highly enjoyable short story that once again shows off his imagination.
In addition to these stories, Bernstein also introduces readers to a sentient booger, a cautionary tale about buying things at yard sales, and a slew of other creepy stories. What I like the most about this collection is that it shows off Bernstein's versatility as an author. Bernstein unleashes a variety of styles throughout A Mixed Bag of Blood, so there is a story in there for all horror fans regardless of what type of horror they are into. Some of these styles weren't what I would normally read on my own - "The Booglin" and "Pottymouth" immediately come to mind - but in the context of this collection, they work extremely well and I found them to be enjoyable reads. It was a lot of fun reading this collection and not really knowing what to expect from one story to the next.
While the stories collected in A Mixed Bag of Blood are wildly diverse in terms of style and subject matter, one thing that is consistent throughout the collection is a sense of fun that makes this a collection that is very easy to finish in one sitting. So, if you are willing to be a little adventurous in trying out different styles of horror, I highly recommend grabbing a copy of A Mixed Bag of Blood!
September 27, 2022
The one chapter where he spent more time describing how fat a kid was than the aliens was fucking funny. Like how do you achive that level of hater
July 6, 2016
I was sent this book by Horror Novel Reviews in exchange for an honest review. I loved the book.
A Mixed Bag of Blood
Written by: David Bernstein
This is a collection of ten short stories. I can’t tell you too much about them, because they are really short and too much information will just give the endings away.
The Trojan Plushy – Brad Raling’s wife and daughter were killed and the murderer set free by a jury due to a recalled breathalyzer. A technicality. Brad wants the revenge denied him by the legal system. Brad’s neighbor, the crazy old lady ignored by everyone, brings him an apple pie with a note inside: “if you want vengeance, go to a certain address on Cremlock Lane”. (Don’t you just love the address “Cremlock”, so close to hemlock). Brad paid dearly for his revenge, but it was a price he was willing to pay.
The Booglin –Imagine a booger in your nose that’s alive. This booger started out as a germ made by the government in a secret laboratory. Carelessness managed to lose it into the general population. This booger is angry at you since you managed to dislodge him and throw him down the bathroom sink. The nameless booger wants revenge. But first he has to get himself out of the drainpipe.
Eaten Un-Alive – Vampires vs zombies. The undead are in a war over dwindling resources. That means their food supply which happens to be people. Ever wonder which one would come out on top in a battle; the vampires, the zombies or the people? Read this story and you’ll have a good grasp of which ones could win.
It’s Not Nice to Have to Share – I can’t imagine what it must be like to be a conjoined twin. But that’s what Georgia and Sally are. Like it or lump it they have to share everything from the tv shows they watch to the new friend that Georgia has. They don’t like it, but what is she/are they to do? Georgia comes up with a solution. For sure it won’t be to Sally’s liking.
Invasion - If the Earth is going to be invaded by space aliens, I think we all have a picture of ourselves, well armed, fighting nobly to protect our homes and loved ones. At least that’s the view of ourselves vs aliens that I have from movies and books. David Bernstein’s view of the invading aliens is a lot more down-to-earth, namely cockroaches. Most of us don’t like to think that they’re all around us. If we do come across them, we like to spray them with the nearest bug killer. A thinking cockroach is, well, unthinkable, except to this author.
Samurai Zombie Killer – A story of honor and dishonor, brother against brother. One is a samurai, loyal to the emperor. The other dabbles in the black arts and has managed to create a zombie army out of his villagers. Can the noble brother defeat the wicked brother, and, if so, at what cost.
Small Town, Big Trouble – What do decent people do when they are tired of protecting their town from a marauding monster? Most sensibly, they decide to kill it. They should have done a more thorough check before taking action.
Bad Cutlery – People like to go to yard sales and pick up bargains, like a used kitchen knife. Some things have to be paid for with more than money.
Potty Mouth – So, your kid has a bad mouth. You don’t know who he learned it from. No matter what you do, he just will not change. How to teach him a lesson – if you’re a witch you can easily find the appropriate punishment. This story was very detailed when describing what little Peter suffered at his mother’s hands. Funny, but still a little hard to read.
STD – Meet a pretty girl, have a good time in her bed and wake up with a pus filled pimple on your penis. Extreme pain but manage to pop the zit, ask the girl if she has any disease she might have given you and be forced to apologize, basically for being an idiot. Of course the pretty girl didn’t give you any strange illness overnight. Of course not.
For some reason, the Table of Contents is at the end of the ebook, so that trying to read whichever story we feel would interest us becomes a bit of a problem, but Mr Davis doesn’t hit a false note with any of his stories. My only complaint is my jealousy at not having his imagination. Most of the stories have humor in them, all of them show people coping with situations they couldn’t ever have imagined. Do yourselves a favor, buy this book, read it and enjoy it.
A Mixed Bag of Blood
Written by: David Bernstein
This is a collection of ten short stories. I can’t tell you too much about them, because they are really short and too much information will just give the endings away.
The Trojan Plushy – Brad Raling’s wife and daughter were killed and the murderer set free by a jury due to a recalled breathalyzer. A technicality. Brad wants the revenge denied him by the legal system. Brad’s neighbor, the crazy old lady ignored by everyone, brings him an apple pie with a note inside: “if you want vengeance, go to a certain address on Cremlock Lane”. (Don’t you just love the address “Cremlock”, so close to hemlock). Brad paid dearly for his revenge, but it was a price he was willing to pay.
The Booglin –Imagine a booger in your nose that’s alive. This booger started out as a germ made by the government in a secret laboratory. Carelessness managed to lose it into the general population. This booger is angry at you since you managed to dislodge him and throw him down the bathroom sink. The nameless booger wants revenge. But first he has to get himself out of the drainpipe.
Eaten Un-Alive – Vampires vs zombies. The undead are in a war over dwindling resources. That means their food supply which happens to be people. Ever wonder which one would come out on top in a battle; the vampires, the zombies or the people? Read this story and you’ll have a good grasp of which ones could win.
It’s Not Nice to Have to Share – I can’t imagine what it must be like to be a conjoined twin. But that’s what Georgia and Sally are. Like it or lump it they have to share everything from the tv shows they watch to the new friend that Georgia has. They don’t like it, but what is she/are they to do? Georgia comes up with a solution. For sure it won’t be to Sally’s liking.
Invasion - If the Earth is going to be invaded by space aliens, I think we all have a picture of ourselves, well armed, fighting nobly to protect our homes and loved ones. At least that’s the view of ourselves vs aliens that I have from movies and books. David Bernstein’s view of the invading aliens is a lot more down-to-earth, namely cockroaches. Most of us don’t like to think that they’re all around us. If we do come across them, we like to spray them with the nearest bug killer. A thinking cockroach is, well, unthinkable, except to this author.
Samurai Zombie Killer – A story of honor and dishonor, brother against brother. One is a samurai, loyal to the emperor. The other dabbles in the black arts and has managed to create a zombie army out of his villagers. Can the noble brother defeat the wicked brother, and, if so, at what cost.
Small Town, Big Trouble – What do decent people do when they are tired of protecting their town from a marauding monster? Most sensibly, they decide to kill it. They should have done a more thorough check before taking action.
Bad Cutlery – People like to go to yard sales and pick up bargains, like a used kitchen knife. Some things have to be paid for with more than money.
Potty Mouth – So, your kid has a bad mouth. You don’t know who he learned it from. No matter what you do, he just will not change. How to teach him a lesson – if you’re a witch you can easily find the appropriate punishment. This story was very detailed when describing what little Peter suffered at his mother’s hands. Funny, but still a little hard to read.
STD – Meet a pretty girl, have a good time in her bed and wake up with a pus filled pimple on your penis. Extreme pain but manage to pop the zit, ask the girl if she has any disease she might have given you and be forced to apologize, basically for being an idiot. Of course the pretty girl didn’t give you any strange illness overnight. Of course not.
For some reason, the Table of Contents is at the end of the ebook, so that trying to read whichever story we feel would interest us becomes a bit of a problem, but Mr Davis doesn’t hit a false note with any of his stories. My only complaint is my jealousy at not having his imagination. Most of the stories have humor in them, all of them show people coping with situations they couldn’t ever have imagined. Do yourselves a favor, buy this book, read it and enjoy it.
March 8, 2016
I was given a copy of this book by the author in return for an honest review.
I was really looking forward to this collection of shorts by David Bernstein and he didn't disappoint. This is a eclectic mixture of stories, some which I enjoyed more than others, but each one was entertaining in its own right. Not usually a fan of Bizarro fiction, I surprised myself by really enjoying Potty Mouth and The Booglin, which were both just plain weird, but disgustingly enjoyable. I laughed, I was grossed out and I held my breath in dread.
All in all, a great collection from the twisted mind of Bernstein.
I was really looking forward to this collection of shorts by David Bernstein and he didn't disappoint. This is a eclectic mixture of stories, some which I enjoyed more than others, but each one was entertaining in its own right. Not usually a fan of Bizarro fiction, I surprised myself by really enjoying Potty Mouth and The Booglin, which were both just plain weird, but disgustingly enjoyable. I laughed, I was grossed out and I held my breath in dread.
All in all, a great collection from the twisted mind of Bernstein.
May 27, 2016
David Bernstein is a twisted SOB--reading this little collection, I could just see him scribbling in his notebook, a wicked giggle escaping from his uncouth grin.
I like this guy.
This stories here aren't scary; I don't think that's the point. This, to me, was more of a Bizarro buffet, featuring malevolent boogers and samurai zombie slayers. It's perverse and entertaining stuff, if you can stomach the extremely detailed gross-out moments.
4 stars
I like this guy.
This stories here aren't scary; I don't think that's the point. This, to me, was more of a Bizarro buffet, featuring malevolent boogers and samurai zombie slayers. It's perverse and entertaining stuff, if you can stomach the extremely detailed gross-out moments.
4 stars
September 3, 2016
I am a fan of short collections, and this one is exceptional. I highly recommend you pick up a copy ... and read more David Bernstein! For a bloody good time no horror fan can deny, get comfy and ready to enjoy every story in A MIXED BAG OF BLOOD. From fun to creepy or both, you will not be disappointed!
March 17, 2016
4 1/2 stars
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