Dangerous Love: A True Story of Tragedy, Faith, and Forgiveness in the Muslim World

by Ray Norman

Ray Norman spent most of his life living in far-flung corners of the globe, working on long-term development projects and living out his calling as a Christian professional. By the time he arrived in the Islamic Republic of Mauritania around the turn of the millennium, he was veteran of life as an expat, at home in countries and cultures not his own. But in 2001, the world was about to change--and so was Ray's life.

In the aftermath of 9/11--a time when tensions between Muslim and Western culture were peaking--Ray and his daughter, Hannah, made the short drive from their home to the Mauritanian beach. But instead of spending the afternoon enjoying the waves and the water, father and daughter found themselves hurtling back to the city, each with a bullet-hole pumping blood into the floorboards of their jeep.

Dangerous Love is an account of the Normans' brush with violent extremism--and of the family's unexpected return to Mauritania in the face of terrifying risks. This is the story of a call that could not be denied and of a family's refusal to give up on love.

Genres: Nonfiction, Biography Memoir, Memoir, Audiobook, Mauritania, Spirituality, Christian

256 pages, Paperback

First published December 1, 2015

Reviews

[Althea Graber · Rating 5 out of 5]

“And then there was the most important lesson of all that slowly grew in our hearts with the seasoning of the years spent among people not our own. Simple as it may seem, it was the realization that in ourselves we did not have the capacity to love sufficiently. We saw the limits of our love fell far short of the needs of those around us. But the more we offered ourselves as yielded vessels, the more we would begin to experience love flow through us that was clearly not of our making. We found that becoming acquainted with God’s love for those he called us to serve is far more deeply satisfying than wrestling with the limits of our own love. This is the love the world needs: his love for the people he gave his life for, a powerful love for which we are only vessels, a love that flows from our innermost parts, but whose source is beyond ourselves.”

A solid 5 stars. An incredible story of the power of Christ’s love flowing through His people. I was inspired and convicted.

[Suep · Rating 2 out of 5]

I found the beginning super engrossing; what happens to his daughter and being where they are (don't want to give anything away) but the rest of the book..... not so engrossing. Yes, I'm all for helping others. I couldn't do what he did; family at risk. It's one thing to serve without your family present and another to expose them to potential danger. Just not my cup of tea so to speak. Probably would have made a great book club discussion.

[Vicky Hunt · Rating 3 out of 5]

A heartfelt account of a family's work in Mauritania before and after nine eleven. The book deals with a shooting that took place, and how they dealt with the pain, the social/ religious issues, and the continuing work of World Vision in the country. It emphasizes the fact that mainstream Islam differs from the extremism that dominates today's media.

I am a United States citizen, but from the comments I hear from friends here and around the world it appears that our world is a racially and religiously charged planet. I am also a Christian, which is not the same thing as being a citizen of a particular country. From the verbal rhetoric, it appears that many people think otherwise. But, many Christians and many Muslims are sincere in their faith and have no wish to see division between, or persecution of any particular human groups: regardless of race or religion.

I do know there are people, both Christian and Muslim, who harbor feelings of hate and anger towards each other. And, it is clear that some people want certain religions 'purged' from around them. Yes, I use the word purge here in the sense of the old Jewish purges and the 'purity of blood' crises faced in Europe historically. No, I am not being overly dramatic, because that is a possible outcome of today's rhetoric. Here in this book is an example of fanatical love and forgiveness, rather than fanatical hatred. The author continued to minister to the poor of Mali, even after he and his daughter were violently attacked. Their forgiveness changed the life of the man who shot them.

I read this as my stop in Mauritania on my Journey Around the World in 2019. My next stop will be inland to Tombouctou in Mali, before continuing my trek South around the coast of West Africa. I read it in the Audible narrated by Henry Arnold. The reading is not the most exciting at first. But, from the time of the shooting, the reader will likely become quite engrossed. It is not much for action. But, it is an intriguing account for those interested in the subject matter. The narrator does a fair job. While it is not especially expressive, the narration does not get in the way of the story, and has no irritating characteristics.

*Note: I also can not attest to the accuracy of pronunciations used by the narrator. I was not convinced that his was authentic, and he seemed to be unsure himself. Of course, that's just my perception.

[Ruthie · Rating 5 out of 5]

I was deeply moved by the author’s fascinating story and being reminded how God carefully knits our lives together so we can have the opportunity to reflect His love.

As for the author’s delivery, I appreciate how he slows down and takes time to invite the reader on the journey through his thoughts, struggles, prayers, and revelations, all while writing with clarity, concision, and a sharp vocabulary.

He even describes, “As the pieces came together, we discovered that the way in which we remember and process the events in our lives may often be far more significant than simply the events themselves.” This storytelling style allows me to learn from his revelations rather than just being entertained by a juicy story.

This book and Mike Weaver’s “I Am Redeemed: Learning to Live in Grace” have especially made impacts on me in the last couple of months.

[Derrick Stoltzfus · Rating 5 out of 5]

Genuinely. A true story of love and its astounding results in the face of hatred.

[James · Rating 4 out of 5]

Ray Norman is scholar-in-residence at Messiah College and the director of Fatih Leadership, Water, Sanitation and Hygiene at World Vision International and the former national director for World Vision's program in Isalmic Republic of Mauritania. While he was in Mauritania, in the wake of 9-11, he and his daughter Hannah were shot. Hannah's situation was critical. Both received medical attention and were evacuated. Both lived. Miraculous, Norman and his family returned to Mauritania. Dangerous Love tells their story of personal risk, the Normans' commitment to justice and mission, and the radical power of forgiveness.

225_350_book-1780-coverThis book was written more than ten years after the principle crisis it describes. Ray Norman continued his work in Mauritania until he felt God's call elsewhere. He and Hanna's story had a major impact on the people of Mauritania, especially those who observed the grace with which they faced near tragedy, and their commitment to caring for the poor and marginalized after being tested by bullets. Because of this instance, Norman got to share his faith with government officials, and commendations from the chief Imam for Norman's (and World Vision's) love for the poor of their nation. Hannah and Ray also visited their would-be-murderer in prison and advocated on his behalf. Later he was released from prison and testified to the difference the Norman's made in his life.

This isn't all rosy. In a postscript we hear of Hannah visiting Mauritaia ten years later on a college mission trip, which causes a breakdown and panic attack. She and her family were courageous but that didn't mean everything was easy.This is a good book if you are interested in mission and stories of how to reach the Muslim world with the love of Christ. I give it four stars.

Note: I received this book from BookLook Bloggers in exchange for my honest review.

[Nancy DeValve · Rating 4 out of 5]

We met Ray and Hélène years ago in Niger, but lost track of them when they left Niger, so I had never heard this story. Even though I've never experienced what they did, because of the location and similar situations, much of it resonated with me.
This book left me reflecting on how we handle hardship. The Normans did not have everything figured out. They stumbled. They struggled. They experienced stress and pain. But they kept stumbling forward. The other reaction they could have had would have been anger, bitterness, and despair. They would never have had three relationships they did if they had chosen the second reaction.

[Mwiles · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book rocked my understanding of the Muslim world, terrorism, and forgiveness. BEAUTIFULLY written from cover to cover, Mr. Norman's story of life in a Muslim country during and immediately after 9/11 is eye-opening. Certainly a page-turner, I was forced to put the book down for a day just so I could process the unbelievable experience of the author's tragic encounter with a terrorist. This book helped me reexamine my own fear of terrorism in today's world and guided me to a place of peace. Highly, highly recommended.

[Ashley · Rating 3 out of 5]

While I 100% respect and admire this family's journey, the author's writing is what suffers here. The story could have been told in half the amount of pages. He rambled and repeated his thoughts, and my attention span faltered as I waded through page after page. I think this man's story is a great representation of what the true love and forgiveness God demands of believers, and I would encourage others to read about this man's life during this time, but an article or shorter nov would have covered this just as well as this 200+ page novel did, I think.

[Joy M. · Rating 4 out of 5]

While I thought this book would be all about what happened at the beach - the hours leading up to it and the immediate aftermath, we were given (for better or worse) a whole lot more. This book tells the true story of the author's experience in the field of international development, and how that became his calling, working for World Vision - the highs, the lows, the missteps and struggles - and especially his time in Mauritania. It also details how a career such as his can take a toll on a family. But, with a Christian world view, the author explains how God miraculously had His hand in everything.

The harrowing tale of violence experienced by him and his daughter were truly frightening, but they dealt with it with much grace, highlighting for those around them what a proper Christian faith both demands and delivers. The author and his family are most definitely living examples of charity, forgiveness and love.

CONS - Prologue, Writing
The actual climax of the story was told in a 2-page prologue before chapter 1; this was a little off-putting because I don't like to read prologues or introductions, and I usually never do. Then, it took too many pages to get to (what I thought was) the main reason for this book; (not until chapter 4). The author gives political, religious and cultural explanations for everything; for me this was both necessary and agonizing. Some of it was repetitive and some was a bit long-winded, and some of the writing dragged at times, although I could easily see why the background information and many of the stories were included.

PROS - Africa
Having travelled through West Africa around the time the author started working for World Vision, I can attest to the beautiful way that continent moves your soul. West Africa is a life-changing and eye-opening place; how do you put into words what it does to you, or what the people and their way of life do to your heart, or how you will never be the same again because of everyone you met and everything you saw, tasted, smelled, heard and breathed? As such, the author is an absolute hero for even trying to explain.

PROS - The women in the book
I just loved Hannah and Hélène; their strength and resilience. They spoke little in the book, but when they did, it was powerful. I also loved Amrita, and Ali’s sister, (and Aboubacar although obvi not a woman). One of my favourite scenes was the women’s gathering in Arafat. “…we understand the wounds of a mother’s heart, and the wounds of a wife’s heart…we understand this, because we too are women.” Oh my. I was crying like a baby. How absolutely beautiful. And Hélène’s daring move at the prison. I was scared for her, for all of them, but in the end, the Holy Spirit was guiding them and Hélène’s words were truly captivating.

Overall, it was an informative and inspiring book which I am happy to have read. Thank you Mr. Ray Norman, for allowing us this glimpse into your life and the life of your family.

[David · Rating 4 out of 5]

Ray Norman was the National Director for World Vision's poverty reduction programs in the Islamic Republic of Mauritania, a Muslim country in north western Africa located south of Morocco. He was there with his wife and his 12-year-old daughter, Hannah, helping to improve the lives of the people of Mauritania. In his book, Dangerous Love: A True Story of Tragedy, Faith, and Forgiveness in the Muslim World, Norman gives his account where, shortly after the 9/11 attacks, he was with his daughter going to the beach when a Muslim man approached them and asked where they were going. Thinking that in the worst case he may be intending to rob him or steal his vehicle, Norman was shocked when the man pulled a gun and calmly began shooting, seriously wounding both him and his daughter. He drove away as quickly as he could with the gunman still shooting at them, trying to get to help before he might pass out while also checking on his daughter's condition. The rest of the book focuses on their evacuation and recovery, the outpouring of sympathy and support from the community they had been helping, the capture and prosecution of the gunman, and the act of forgiveness that surprised everyone. This is an inspiring true story and I don't know if I could have done what this family did after such a tragic experience.

[Jared Cover · Rating 5 out of 5]

I really enjoyed this book because it gives a thorough look into the life of a veteran missionary and his family in one of the most forlorn parts of the world. The story is powerful because the reader is taken on the entire emotional journey of a man whose beloved daughter is attacked and possibly killed by a man he strove to serve. We follow the thoughts of a Christian leader in a Muslim world when confronted with a dire situation and ultimately see how the Lord works through His people. I especially liked the spunky, unexpected things Hannah, Norman's daughter, says at certain moments. I felt the reverence he has for his wife and learned why toward the final chapters. When it is mentioned how the family's housekeeper learned of the disaster that befell Norman and his daughter, I was moved. It was at this point in the book that the selflessness embodied by missionaries in dangerous parts of the world really hit home.
This is a book that anyone interested in serving God and walking with the poor ought to read and it is a shining example of why compassion and forgiveness are a powerful means of accomplishing good.

[Angie Fehl · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 Stars

This is Norman's memoir of his time as director (Mauritania branch) of the humanitarian organization World Vision International. Much of the memoir focuses on one particular incident that affected the lives of him and his family forever. While he and his family served as a Christian missionary family in the Islamic Republic of Mauritania (Africa), there was a day where Norman decided to take a chill day at a nearby beach with his then 10 year old daughter, Hannah. En route, Norman finds that he needs to stop the Jeep to adjust tire pressure. While outside the vehicle, a stranger approaches him, begins to ask questions about his nationality, his religion, his family. Not thinking much of the line of questioning, (as Norman explains, it's a common form of greeting etiquette for Mauritanian locals to ask such questions before getting to their main topic of conversation -- much like how Americans like our courtesy "How's ya mom & 'em?" -- how we say it in the South anyway), he's shocked to see the man pull a gun on him. Moments later, Ray Norman finds he and his daughter have been seriously shot, bleeding out in the desert, hundreds of miles away from the nearest medical facilities. This is the story of their survival. How they, against the odds, survived the incident and how they came to process and gradually heal from the subsequent physical & emotional trauma. Norman also discusses other related topics, such as what it was like in general to be an American working in a primarily Muslim country during the time of the 9/11 attacks in the United States, describing some of the anti-American protests / rallies after our military's entrance into Afghanistan after the attacks.

While I found much of Norman's story eye-opening and thought-provoking, there were moments that did rub me the wrong way a bit. I was touched by the passages remarking on his muddled feelings, after the shootings, of pain and confusion at being attacked by someone to whom he showed open and honest kindness & compassion. He also expresses guilt at not having picked up any clues about coming danger in the strange man's behavior or body language, something that would have saved Norman's daughter from the serious injuries she endured. I think many a reader can relate to having moments where, in hindsight, we berate ourselves for not having better "spidey sense" about approaching trouble -- even in times when it clearly could not have been helped. Sometimes bad things just happen to good people, but as humans we hate having to accept that. I also appreciated that Norman breaks up some of the serious passages with stories of comedic cultural faux pas he and his wife displayed in the early years of their time in Mauritania, when they were just getting their bearings in a new and unfamiliar culture.

The bit I found a little uncomfortable was the way Norman didn't give the locals more credit for just being decent human beings. There are so many passages where his tone seems to express genuine surprise at the empathy of the Muslim people, almost as if he'd only expect general decency to be so second-nature among his fellow Christians. One of the most notable instances of this was when his wife Helene was going through a sort of survivor's guilt -- though Norman and his daughter both survived their injuries, Helene had a premonition of something bad coming just before the day of the shooting, but at the time was out of the country on a work trip. As Norman & his daughter are healing, Helene struggles with trying to find someone who will be a support system for her, only seeming to receive canned apologies / condolence messages / empty platitudes from her Christian acquaintances. The Muslim women of Mauritania get together and hold a gathering in Helene's honor where they express their concern for her, explain how they are wives and mothers themselves and see that her pain must be acknowledged. They console her in a way that NO ONE in her own religion thought to -- and her husband seems honestly shocked by this. I found the story moving and empowering, but was surprised that he was surprised! Empathy should know no cultural or religious roadblocks. People are people, pain is pain, regardless of your geographical location, family, church affiliation, whatever.

There was also what Norman acknowledges as his own "religious arrogance" (his words). Along with that he describes a misplaced sense of entitlement, a tendency to think himself better than the community members he was supposed to be there to serve. He would mistake the villagers' insistence on social common courtesies as stubbornness to carry out what he perceived as unnecessary conversational habits. It takes him awhile but what the Mauritanian people end up teaching him is the importance of actually freakin' listening to people. No, really listening! While I'm glad that he acknowledged the error in his behavior, I wasn't convinced that he made huge strides to correct it. I still felt a thinly veiled sense of entitlement and a minor case of the humble-brag running throughout these pages.

That being said, I think the work the Norman family carried out while in Mauritania is definitely important. The story here is one of striving for peace among diverse cultures, the process of learning to forgive those who have most definitely wronged you (learning not to hate them but instead feel sorry for them being so lost, perhaps sending up a prayer / wish that they find a better life direction soon), learning to give people who initially seem like lost causes the benefit of doubt, believing that soul rehab is possible. From this story I can embrace the take-away message of optimism and a hope for a worldwide continued striving for tolerance & appreciation for the variety of world cultures.

FTC DISCLAIMER: BookLookBloggers.com & Thomas Nelson Publishers kindly offered me a complimentary copy of this book in exchange for an honest review. The opinions above are entirely my own.

[Nathan Albright · Rating 5 out of 5]

[Note: This book was provided by BookLook/Thomas Nelson Publishers in exchange for an honest review.]

As a water engineer by education and the former head of World Vision's efforts in the remote and obscure West African nature of Mauritania [1], Ray Norman and his family, including an Anglo-French wife and two children, whose son was in high school in Dakar, the capital of Senegal, was not expected to be caught up in violence, yet that is precisely what happened to him in the fall of 2001 when he and his daughter Hannah were shot in cold blood as they enjoyed a day at the beach. From that shocking moment, with which the book begins in media res, Norman discusses the crisis of faith for him and his wife, his own background as the children of medical missionaries in West Africa, and the lengthy and painful aftermath that led to great spiritual insight, some lasting damages, especially for Hannah, whose PTSD appears to affect her long afterwards, as happens to some of us who survive childhood trauma, and also an outpouring of love and respect between the author's family and a surprising group of people, including Mauritania's chief imam and the tortured soul who shot Ray and Hannah, who later died in 2012.

In terms of its contents, this book is a gripping real-life drama that ranks as a story of missionary faith of the sort of dramatic and documentary-worthy quality as Through Gates Of Splendor [2]. The book manages to demonstrate the sort of danger that missionaries go through in seeking to serve God and share the outgoing love and concern of Jesus Christ in foreign countries while also demonstrating the complicated and nuanced workings of God's Holy Spirit and of the behavior of the civil and religious leaders of a poor country like Mauritania. While there appears to be a small and violent minority implacably opposed to open Christian presence, and despite laws that are very strict against open Christian missionary efforts to convert citizens to the Christian faith, the open desire of Westerners to teach and help poverty-striken people and help them to live better lives, while showing themselves to be people of the utmost propriety and honor in their own personal conduct clearly has won people like Norman a great deal of favor in unexpected places, as both a prominent cleric later chosen to be the head of Mauritania's ulama were moved by the compassion of Norman and especially his brave and spirited daughter in forgiving the man who shot him and seek his release from barbaric prison conditions and as much rehabilitation as was possible, which won them a great deal of goodwill and provided a stark example of forgiveness and reconciliation in a part of the world where that is particularly scarce.

In reading this book, which is written in an honest fashion, including a great deal of detail and candid admission of struggles and wounds and doubts and concerns and uncertainty, it is clear that both the author and the reader are meant to come to the conclusion that the tragic shooting of Norman and his daughter were an act of surprising divine providence that is worthy of reflection for those of us who wonder why bad things happen to good people. It is clear, for one, that the author is well-read when it comes to matter concerning trials and blessings, quoting frequently from scripture as well as such authors as C.S. Lewis, among others. The tragedy allowed Norman and his family to build faith and courage through overcoming their suffering, allowed them to see the humanity and decency of their neighbors in West Africa, and allowed them to demonstrate immense grace and forgiveness and mercy in their own dealings with their shooter, providing a fascinating if sometimes unpleasant case study in how God uses difficulty and disaster to shape people into the proper vessels of modeling His ways and His own behavior for others [3]. The author also manages to make a lot of pointed criticism of the materialism and shallowness of much contemporary American spirituality, and the fact that those who live lives of comparatively great privilege often show little appreciation to God for the gifts they have been given or a recognition that those who have been given much by God are expected to use what they have been given in service and outgoing love for others. As was said by the lapsed Christian Thomas Carlyle, "Conviction is worthless unless it is converted into conduct." This book is a spur to the reader to convert a conviction of God's love for humanity into conduct, even in the worst of times and the worst of conditions, providing an example of what it means to love our enemies and to be a blessing to those who seek to do us harm.

[1] The country, if it is known at all, is mostly known for its grinding poverty and its lengthy tradition of slavery even into modern times. See, for example:

https://edgeinducedcohesion.wordpress...

[2] http://www.amazon.com/Through-Gates-S...

[3] See, for example:

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https://edgeinducedcohesion.wordpress...

https://edgeinducedcohesion.wordpress...

https://edgeinducedcohesion.wordpress...

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[Eileen Conn · Rating 5 out of 5]

Amazing must read for those who hope for a better understanding

This book will always have a place in my deepest self. I could barely put it down and held my interest to the conclusion. God's plan was evident throughout the story and should be just as obvious in all of our lives. I have been sponsoring a child through World Vision for over 10 years but was never fully aware of its mission. The shining hope for Humanity is written on every page.
.

[Sarah Crass · Rating 4 out of 5]

The girl crying in the plane because of a book? Yes - that’s me. Dangerous Love was written by a colleague of mine at World Vision. Ray tells his story of forgiveness after the attempted murder of he and his daughter while serving in Mauritania. I am left in awe and inspired at how great God is - how He makes His presence known as we walk through trauma and hardship. Ray’s story is written with compassion, vulnerability and love. If you are looking to be inspired - this is the book!

[Bethany Miller · Rating 4 out of 5]

No matter your nationality or religion, as humans we all seek wholeness and hope. This alone gives us a base for love. This book reminds me just how far love can go if we lay aside our differences and choose to start from our common ground.
I’m not particularly fond of the writing style, I’d rather enter into the story then feel like I’m listening to a testimony but that’s no fault, just a personal preference.

[Angela · Rating 5 out of 5]

The true story of Ray Norman and his family living and working for World Vision in Nouakchott, Mauritania in 2001 when tensions between Muslims and Christians were at an all time high. I could feel the love Ray and his family had for the Muslim people of Mauritania, a supernatural love from the Lord. The book got me in the feels and it was an amazing story of love and redemption and forgiveness and working for the Lord. Really liked it!

[Angie Shoemaker · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book was more interesting than I thought it would be. I found myself losing interest, though, as the author dove into minutiae and mental wanderings that I felt had little bearing on the meat of the story. This felt like a relatively simple, straightforward story that was padded with extraneous words enough to make a full-length book.

[karen peach · Rating 5 out of 5]

Amazing story. Well written and impactful. If I had the book I could pinpoint my favorite chapter (I think it was chapter 7 where the Muslim women were ministering to the Christian woman), but alas, I lent my copy to a friend. I have gifted this book to a few people as well because it really is a great read.

[Alicia Kurtz · Rating 4 out of 5]

An incredible story of God’s all-powerful, redeeming love!

“To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly be broken… The only place outside of Heaven where you can be perfectly safe from all the dangers and perturbations of love is Hell.” - C.S. Lewis

[Kathi McNair · Rating 5 out of 5]

Riveting first person account of tragedy and grace in an African country. The author writes with a balance of confidence and humility and models acceptance, genuine forgiveness and a true love for those whom others so easily overlook.

[Pamela · Rating 4 out of 5]

A powerful story, though the author repeated himself quiet a bit and the story dragged in a few places when he was sharing his thoughts. I listened to this in the car during a Thanksgiving road trip.

[Marianne · Rating 5 out of 5]

Amazing story of love and forgiveness. I cried at the end of this true story.

[Larry · Rating 3 out of 5]

Decent book but it felt like the author rambles ALOT to lengthen the book.

[Sage · Rating 4 out of 5]

I'd give this one 3.5 stars. Great book, worth reading.

[Kathryn · Rating 2 out of 5]

The 1st quarter or third of the book was interesting, but the remainder not so much and much of it is on the boring side.

[Merci · Rating 4 out of 5]

There were a few slow parts but overall it was an interesting and inspirational look at an overseas missionary's life.

[Sandra K · Rating 5 out of 5]

What a touching story of love and forgiveness!

RAY NORMAN thankyou for reminding us on what real love is.

[Linda Schlabach · Rating 5 out of 5]

Well written. Eye opening to different cultures!