Il potere emotivo dei gesti: Presenza, autostima, sicurezza: usa il linguaggio del corpo per affrontare le sfide più difficili

by Amy Cuddy

Nelle situazioni ad alta tensione – esami, colloqui di lavoro, incontri decisivi a livello personale –, quando vorremmo dare il meglio di noi, ci ritroviamo spesso a dare il peggio. Sentendoci inadeguati, tendiamo a ripiegarci su noi stessi, come se volessimo passare inosservati; oppure esageriamo e diventiamo aggressivi. In entrambi i casi trasmettiamo solo nervosismo e incertezza. Cosa fare allora? Dobbiamo acquisire la «presenza», quella condizione in cui comportamento e atteggiamento mentale sono perfettamente sintonizzati e comunicano autenticità, sicurezza, fiducia. Come? Assumendo una postura spontanea e naturale di potere, che consiste nell'espandere il corpo occupando più spazio, senza intimorire l'interlocutore. Solo così comunichiamo la nostra determinazione all'altro e soprattutto… a noi stessi! Infatti, più ostentiamo sicurezza (nei modi giusti), più ci sentiamo davvero sicuri e convinti, perché particolari gesti ingannano il cervello, inducendolo a rilasciare testosterone (l'ormone dell'assertività) e a frenare il cortisolo (l'ormone dello stress). Questa è la rivoluzionaria scoperta di Amy Cuddy, fra le massime esperte a livello mondiale di linguaggio del corpo, che ha anticipato i suoi studi pionieristici in una delle TED conference più viste e applaudite di sempre. In questo libro espone le sue ricerche, che si muovono fra antropologia, psicologia e neurologia, e spiega come applicarle nella vita di tutti i giorni: quali atteggiamenti assumere e quali evitare, o come muoverci nello spazio, insieme ad altre semplici tecniche per liberarci dalle paure e superare le sfide con soddisfazione.

Genres: Nonfiction, Self Help, Psychology, Business, Personal Development, Leadership, Audiobook

303 pages, Kindle Edition

First published November 3, 2015

Reviews

[Laura McNeal · Rating 4 out of 5]

I don't read self-help books. Metaphorically I'm a 17-year-old hearing that it would be better to start my homework on Saturday instead of Sunday night at eight. My inner voice screams, "I KNOOOOOOOOW." But someone sent this book to my husband to review, or maybe just as advice, because he doesn't read self-help books either. You have to be far more optimistic than we are to believe you could possibly learn anything from a book that says it can tell you how to bring your boldest self to your biggest challenges. Normally in that situation we just bring a flask.

But I was in that sort of a funk where you think, I am going to eat 12 Ding Dongs and lie face down on the living room carpet and then in 40 or so years I'm going to die. So I thought maybe as an alternative I would open the book and see if it could help me with my Biggest Challenge, which is ongoing and dire and I can't even tell you what it is because maybe you know me.

In the beginning it really did tick me off to hear how fabulous everyone thought the theory of "presence" was, how many lives it had changed, and how many of the people whose Lives It Had Changed had come up to the author at coffee shops and told her so. I was in deep danger of switching from the Bold Self initiative to my default setting, which is Holden Caulfield at the end of his madman weekend in New York.

And yet I kept reading, and it got to a point where I was curled up on the sofa with a highlighter in my hand, and my 17-year-old came home from school and said, "Why are you doing that. Why are you highlighting that book." And then he started to laugh because he knew it was because I'm the nerd of all nerd-dom, and I said, That's right, I miss doing homework and highlighting things and (I didn't say this part) believing that I could improve myself.

"Begin to be now what you will be hereafter." --William James. (Highlighted in my copy.)

"To dance is to be out of yourself. Larger, more beautiful, more powerful. This is power, it is glory on earth, and it is yours for the taking." --Agnes de Mille (Ditto.)

"Starfish up." (Not, not, NOT highlighted in my copy. I mention it to warn you that the book is not a saccharine-free zone.)

Amy Cuddy's advice may or may not be scientifically sound, and the many studies presented here may or may not make you think you could be something else hereafter, something larger, more beautiful, more powerful. But for a while there, I didn't eat any Ding Dongs, nor lie on the carpet and die, and I completely lost the cap to my highlighter, and I thought, hey, a lot of this is not stupid, and maybe some of it could work, even for me.

[Kristen · Rating 2 out of 5]

Watch the TED Talk. Skip the book. Except for Chapters 8 & 9 (which covered the content of her TED Talk in a little more detail), the remainder was a rehashing of old studies the author force-fit into her theme of "presence" and reprints of emails she received from fans.

[Always Pouting · Rating 3 out of 5]

More self help books yikes, when will I finish all the ones I bought without thinking about it when they were on sale? The author of this one also has a TED talk and as seems to be the case with books by authors with successful TED talks it's much more worthwhile to skip the book and just watch the talk. Yeah they expand on there research some what but most of the time they just pad the same thing they said in their talk with, you guessed it, anecdotes. Also the idea of fake it until you make it isn't really a new one so there's that.

[Caroline · Rating 1 out of 5]

This book is an unnecessarily long article about acting self-confident when you don't feel it. Am I the only person who read Cosmo magazine in the 90s? I distinctly remember reading Cosmo magazine in my 20s with this exact advice. "When you walk into a party, Cosmo girls walk in with their chin up, smile on her face, eyes friendly and scanning the room.." So yes, do you need to read this book when all you need to do is pull back issues of Cosmo?

What made it even harder to read is the author spends 3/4 of the book talking about herself ad nauseum. 'I save lives!' Is the general gist of her self-congratulatory treatise. She recounts almost every single encounter she has had with strangers who tearfully tell her how she changed their lives (!), pulling them out of the gutter (!) and on to a fulfilling life (!) by watching her TED talk (!) on YouTube. And I'm not sure what's worse, the endless stories or her constant "I can't believe this (!) little ol' me (!) changing the world (!)' act. I guess you have to fill a book with something when all your useful info can be summed up in the length of a magazine article. Or as my friend Shannon says "Fake it til you make it."

All that said, I give her massive credit for overcoming a horrific accident that could have easily left her mentally incapacitated. She worked hard to rehab herself and for that, she gets 5 stars.

[Tim · Rating 5 out of 5]

The reason why I bought this book was because Amy Cuddy's TED talk about "power posing" helped me through a difficult challenge. I felt like an impostor in my probability theory class. It was my first mathematical theory class, and, frankly, I had felt misplaced for much of the semester. I was one of the youngest people in the class and generally felt inadequate about my math preparation (even though I shouldn't have!). After watching her TED talk and committing myself to changing my posture and presence, I started feeling and thinking like I wasn't an impostor anymore. By the end of the semester, I actually started enjoying coming to class. The tangible results also showed as well. During the last week, we had to give a presentation about a special topic and I ended up getting an A on the final presentation!

Watching the TED talk itself gave me the confidence I needed to show my boldest and strongest true self in many domains. Because I was deeply moved by those ideas, I bought the book as soon as I could to learn more. The TED talk gives concrete "takeaways," but the book actually gives insight into how those concrete details were made. Those explanations are clear and cogent. The book starts off by introducing and defining the ideas of presence, power (personal and social), the connection between mind/body/behavior, and then the power-posing hypothesis that's powerful yet simple. It all comes together as a "takeaway" message in the last chapter or two.

This book is on my favorites list (and a 5/5), because the findings from Cuddy's research has changed the way I view interactions and stressful (but important) situations. It's not easy to find a book that changes how one views the world. I found out about Amy Cuddy through her TED talk and articles that I've read for a research assistant position in a psychology lab. What's great is that she's sharing these ideas in an accessible book to everyone, yet she offers so much depth if one wants to rigorously examine them.

Here's the URL of her TED talk: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ks-_M...

[Jonathan Karmel · Rating 2 out of 5]

I took this book out of the library based on the title – Presence: Bringing Your Boldest Self to Your Biggest Challenges – after reading the back cover. I have read some other books by philosophers and psychologists, and especially those who are proponents of meditation, about the importance of being present. My understanding of this concept is that there is a lot of value to trying to focus your attention on the present moment, rather than letting your mind wonder to distracting thoughts about the past, the future or things that are “on your mind” other than what is actually happening at the present moment. I thought this book was going to be about how being present in this way can help people bring their boldest selves to their biggest challenges. Early on in the book, however, the author made it clear that this was actually not the type of “presence” the book is about.

After reading it, I wasn’t really sure what it was about. Apparently, the author has a YouTube video about “power posing” that has tens of millions of views. Part of this book details the author’s power posing theory. If you have the opportunity and the credentials to be successful but you still feel like an imposter, you should “fake it until you become it.” Strike a power pose, literally a bodily posture that projects power, and this will help you to actually be powerful.

When I was an undergraduate at Cornell in the 1980s, I took social psychology from professor Daryl Bem, who taught about his self-perception theory. The self-perception theory is that we don’t necessarily act based on what kind of person we are; rather, to a large extent the type of person we are is formed by the way that we act. More recently, many, many books, including this one, have cited the experiment showing that people don’t just smile because they are happy; it’s also true that if you just use the muscles in your mouth to make yourself smile, this can actually make you happier. I’ve read self-help books that echo the same principle: one way to be happier is simply to act like a happy person regardless of what you are feeling, and to some extent acting happy can actually make you happier.

So I am sure that Cuddy’s theory is true that people can to some extent overcome a false feeling of being an “imposter” by simply forcing themselves to act like a person who has a lot of self-confidence. But I don’t think this is a particularly original theory. Also, the “power pose” theory seems kind of like a parlor trick that people can play on themselves. If you are a person with low self-confidence and low self-esteem, are you really going to be able to “fool yourself” into thinking you are powerful by posing like Wonder Woman? I don’t know, because I don’t generally lack self-confidence/self-esteem in the first place. But I think the bigger problem with Cuddy’s theory is that it seems like a poor explanation of what is really going on with the “imposter syndrome.”

There are some people who really are “faking it”; they really don’t work hard; they really aren’t that smart; they are really just pretending to know stuff that they don’t know. This book is not about those people. This book is about people who are intelligent and competent and hardworking and successful, yet they still feel like imposters. Yes, of course everyone feels that way, because everyone is that way. Since most people are putting their best face forward most of the time and hiding their deficits, I perceive other people as being “truly” successful while I am not. I don’t think I should “pretend” to be more powerful than I really am. Rather, I should recognize that what I see of others is not a representative sample of what others are really like. I don’t see their deficits and failures because they don’t generally reveal those things to me. What is important to recognize is that the most successful people are successful because they persisted in the face of many attempts and many failures. They always have questions, doubts and gaps in understanding, but they persist anyway. Success is just someone who fails constantly but keeps at it. Also, the other successful people are also faking it, at least some of the time. Nearly everyone pretends to work harder and to be more competent than they actually are.

I think it’s kind of silly to pretend to be an invulnerable superhero. Isn’t it better to reveal your vulnerability, to admit that what you don’t know far exceeds your tiny area of expertise, yet you are still striving to improve upon your weaknesses? It seems like this book is more about marketing yourself than being your authentic self. I hate to say it, but the author struck me as actually being a bit of an imposter.

Getting back to the title of the book, I understand what the author is not talking about when she uses the word “presence,” but I never figured out what she was talking about. Similarly, she made a point of explaining that when she uses the word “power,” she is not talking about actual power as the word is commonly understood, but rather she is talking about “personal power.” I’m not sure I understood what she meant by personal power either. I read some other reviews of this book, and none of the ones I saw explained Cuddy’s concepts of “presence” or “personal power,” which is surprising considering that “Presence” is the title of the book, and the book is all about increasing your “personal power.” I think what she might be talking about is the idea that people who seem like they are very authentic and comfortable in their own skin are far more charismatic than people who seem to be conforming to some kind of false persona. Cuddy talked a little bit about Jung’s theory of individuation. I agree that people who are very comfortable just being themselves – the good, the bad and the ugly – are more personable. This is probably in part because they are mentally healthy rather than being mentally needy. But I don’t think this book was any sort of guide for people trying to achieve that je ne sais quoi that makes people charismatic or gives people “personal power.”

Like a lot of non-fiction social science books these days, it seemed like the author read a lot of material and then compiled her notes into a book. The style of writing is colloquial, not well-written in a traditional sense. It just seemed like the author was trying to ride the coattails of her own successful YouTube video rather than taking the time to compose a serious non-fiction book that developed a coherent thesis. To me, it seems like the “imposter syndrome” is less of a problem than the opposite – people being overly impressed by someone who is good looking, well-poised, associated with Harvard University and has a YouTube video with a lot of views.

[Leah · Rating 5 out of 5]

First, watch Amy Cuddy's Ted Talk.
Then, read this book.
It has made me really really think about a few things and how I carry myself in the world. I also am really grateful to know that I have "personal power" and don't rely on "social power" to get through the world.
Great way to end 2015 and start 2016!

[Vance Ginn · Rating 4 out of 5]

Amy Cuddy writes a story-filled book on how to build yourself up before any challenging conflict so that you can be present and put your best effort into whatever challenge may arise.

In Presence, Amy highlights her research and that by other social psychologists who study how people prepare for conflicts and what seems to work best to be in a position of power. The overwhelming research shows that you should use body cues and mind tricks to help psych yourself up for a conflict.

Much like a runner who wins a race and extends her arms in V shape, that same action results in a more powerful mental state going into a conflict and helping to make better decisions or give a better speech or a host of other things that you may find challenging. The key position is called the "starfish up," as that is the position with your hand over your head. Breathing techniques and exercise are also key activities that one can do to get ready to be your best self.

I know that I struggle from avoiding conflict and feeling anxious before big meetings or presentations, but these sort of tricks have helped me in the past without knowing the science behind them that I learned from this book. I look forward to continuing what's work best for me and try new activities taught by Amy.

If you are anxious in those challenging moments and want some tips on how to best deal with them, this is a good book for you.

[Debbie · Rating 3 out of 5]

While this was an interesting read and I may apply some of the concepts it discussed to my own life, half of the time it felt extremely repetitive and self-serving.

While I appreciate that Cuddy referenced other research besides her own when backing up her points, she didn't do it well. While a good writer would be able to reference the results of multiple studies in a way that makes the information gleaned build upon the previously referenced study and provide additional support for her point, the way Cuddy wrote it, it just started feeling repetitive. And honestly, some of the research that was referenced was only tangentially related to the points she was trying to make and felt like a stretch. This caused the research-heavy portions of this book to feel extremely disjointed.

In addition, while I do think it was worth it for her to include some anecdotal feedback she's received from people who have implemented the ideas from her TED Talk, she overdid the anecdotes to the extreme. Rather than feeling like she was providing real-life examples of how to apply these concepts in the real world, it felt like Cuddy was bragging about how many lives she's changed with her TED Talk. The final chapter was completely unnecessary and self-serving in my opinion.

The rest of this review is just my random notes from this required read for work:

-----

"Presence stems from believing in and trusting yourself—your real, honest feelings, values, and abilities. That’s important, because if you don’t trust yourself, how can others trust you?" (P7)

We can’t be fully engaged in an interaction when we’re busy second-guessing ourselves (p21)

To have presence, you need confidence, enthusiasm and passion. "When you are not present, people can tell. When you are, people respond." (25)

"Self-assured enthusiasm is an impressively useful indicator of success. In studies of entrepreneurs, this quality predicts drive, willingness to work hard, initiative, persistence in the face of obstacles, enhanced mental activity, creativity, and the ability to identify good opportunities and novel ideas." (25)

"Presence, as I mean it throughout these pages, is the state of being attuned to and able to comfortably express our true thoughts, feelings, values, and potential . That’s it. It is not a permanent, transcendent mode of being. It comes and goes. It is a moment-to-moment phenomenon. Presence emerges when we feel personally powerful, which allows us to be acutely attuned to our most sincere selves." (19)

"Presence isn’t about pretending to be competent; it’s about believing in and revealing the abilities you truly have. It’s about shedding whatever is blocking you from expressing who you are. It’s about tricking yourself into accepting that you are indeed capable. Sometimes you have to get out of the way of yourself so you can be yourself." (33)

Presence signals authenticity, believability, and genuineness.

"The manifest qualities of presence—confidence, enthusiasm, comfort, being captivating." (35)

To find your best authentic self, you need to identify your "enablers and blockers the attitudes, beliefs, and behaviors that help and hurt their ability to summon forth their best selves. But it’s not enough to identify the values, traits, and strengths that represent your authentic best self—you must then affirm and trust the answers. You must believe them. They tell an important part of your personal story, and if you don’t believe your story, why would anyone else?" (53)

Before a stressful situation, do self-affirmations that center around your core values, what's important to you and what you're good at (not generic self-affirmations). Reaffirm "the parts of our authentic best selves we value most." It will make you feel safe with yourself, less defensive, more open to feedback, and a better problem solver. The values you're affirming don't have to be relevant to the situation, just ones that are core to you. 59)

"self-affirmation is the practice of clarifying your story to yourself, allowing you to trust that who you are will come through naturally in what you say and do." (60)

"By finding, believing, expressing, and then engaging our authentic best selves, especially if we do it right before our biggest challenges, we reduce our anxiety about social rejection and increase our openness to others. And that allows us to be fully present." (65)

"preparation is obviously important, but at some point, you must stop preparing content and start preparing mind-set. You have to shift from what you’ll say to how you’ll say it." (72)

When you're experiencing imposter syndrome, it causes behaviors that "reinforce the notion that we are not as good, as smart, as talented, or as able as the world thinks we are. They cause us to criticize ourselves relentlessly, spin our wheels, choke at the worst possible moments, disengage—thereby virtually ensuring that we will underperform at the very things we do best and love most. At its most extreme, impostorism can become a self-paved path to failure." (120)

"Research shows that in pressure-filled situations, when we are distracted by thinking about possible outcomes of our performance, our skills are measurably diminished. When we explicitly monitor ourselves, second by second, any task that requires memory and focused attention will suffer... It stands in the way of ourselves. It stands in the way of our presence." (121)

Remembering a time when you felt powerful can have positive psychological effects that will improve your confidence and presence. The opposite happens when you prime yourself to feel powerless.

Don't overcompensate with dominant body language in social situations. While you don't want to display submissive body language because it will make you feel powerless and cause the issues that are associated with that, you also don't want to be aggressively dominant to the level that people don't feel comfortable around you.

When you feel powerful and confident, testosterone increases and cortisol (the stress hormone) drops.

Expansive poses take up a lot of space (Wonder woman pose, spreading your arms on a table, sitting with your legs apart or arms spread instead of crossed tightly) while powerless poses take up less space (crossing your arms, covering the back of your neck, slouching, shrinking in on yourself).

"All these effects of expansive body language—increasing our feelings of power, confidence, and optimism, decreasing our feelings of stress, shoring up the positivity of our self-image, freeing us to be assertive, to take action, and to persist in the face of challenges, and preparing our bodies to be strong and grounded—also facilitate our ability to achieve presence during our biggest challenges." (262)

Standing in a power pose for a few minutes before a big meeting/stressful situation/etc. will have a positive effect on your presence (see above) and help you perform better. Even just imagining standing in this power pose can have this effect.

"If you’re about to face a challenging situation and you have no other option but to sit, wrap your arms around the back of your chair and clasp your hands together. This forces you to open your shoulders and chest." (285)

Improving your presence/confidence during situations where you can't power pose:
- Sit/stand up straight; keep shoulders back and chest open
- Breathe deeply
- Keep your chin up instead of tucked down
- Keep your feet grounded instead of crossed
- Speak slowly and don't be afraid of pauses
- Hold something in your hands or place them on the table/arm rests to avoid clasping or wringing your hands
- Don't keep your arms pinned by your side. Use full gestures not half gestures

Try to bring exercises that improve your presence into every day life: yoga, breathing exercises, having good posture, using subtle power poses like stretching fully when you get up or putting your hand on your hip when brushing your teeth.

"In each challenging situation, we nudge ourselves: we encourage ourselves to feel a little more courageous, to act a bit more boldly—to step outside the walls of our own fear, anxiety, and powerlessness. To be a bit more present. And incrementally, over time, we end up where we want to be… even if we couldn’t have said where that was when we started." (295)

Nudges are better ways to get to the behaviors you desire than lofty goals/resolutions because they focus on how to get to where you want to be instead of what negative behavior you want to change. You're also more likely to keep up with nudges rather than discouraging goals that seem too far away to be achievable.

If you're feeling anxious, tell yourself to be excited instead of telling yourself to calm down. It's easier for your brain to transition from anxiety to excitement rather than calm.

“Don’t fake it till you make it, fake it till you become it.”

[Sean Goh · Rating 5 out of 5]

Presence stems from believing and trusting in yourself. It is the state of being attuned to and able to comfortably express our true thoughts, feelings, values and potential.

All changes have their melancholy, for what we leave behind is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another. -Anatole France

Treat even the most difficult interactions as opportunities for me to reveal what I'm capable of and to express my worthiness.

First impressions based on qualities of enthusiasm, passion and confidence night actually be quite sound - precisely because they're so hard to fake. When you're not present, people can tell.

A confident person -knowing and believing in their identity- carries tools, not weapons. A confident person does not need to one-up anyone else. A confident person can be present to others, hear their perspectives, and integrate those views in ways that create value for everyone.

Judging a person's honesty is not about identifying one stereotypical tell, it's about seeing how well one's multiple channels of communication - facial expressions, posture, movement, vocal qualities- align.
Attending to just words might undermine our ability to spot lies, by causing us to not notice non-verbals.

Affirming one's authentic best self -reminding oneself of their most valued strengths-protected one from anxiety. It also increases openness to others. And that allows us to be fully present.

Allowing the conversation to flow naturally was a manifestation of Julianne(Moore)'s ability to be in the moment - and to bring others into that moment with her.

When you are present and available people have a desire to offer you their authentic self. All you have to do is ask. No one keeps a secret. And they might be resistant initially to telling you something, but eventually they'll give you their whole life story. And it's because of people's desire to be seen.

Preparation is not about having a memorised script, it's about having easier cognitive access to this content, which frees you to focus on what's actually happening.

People feel the least present when they don't feel seen.

When we meet someone we ask ourselves two questions:
Can I trust this person? (Warmth)
Can I respect this person? (Competence)
But we value warmth over competence, because untrustworthy people are potentially dangerous. But we prefer others to see us as competent. Which might lead to behaviour that makes us seem cold and aloof.

Listening helps to:
Build trust
Acquire useful information
See others as individuals
Develop solutions that have buy in (procedurally just)
Make others more willing to listen

Part of presence is accepting that possibility of disappointment and not allowing that to knock you off course or cause you to doubt.

In some situations there is no such thing as winning. To think that in every case you will be able to summon a magic phrase or an impressively bold deed is self-aggrandising. At moments like these, just being there and listening may be enough.

Impostor syndrome (impostorism): the feeling that one's achievements are a result of luck or circumstance and one doesn't deserve one's reputation, and at some point one will be exposed.
Success doesn't help impostor syndrome because it gives us a lofty vision of ourselves that we can't reconcile with our secret knowledge of not deserving it.

Most of us will probably never fully shed our fears of being fraudulent, we'll just work them out as they come, one by one.

Power makes us approach, powerlessness makes us avoid.

Personal power is characterised by freedom from dominance of others. It's about access to and control of our inner resources (skills, values).
Social power is power over others. (the kind of power that tends to corrupt)

The link between anxiety and self-absorption is bidirectional; they cause each other. The more self-focused we are, the more anxious, and also more depressed and generally negative, we become.

We don't want to engage with people who are conspicuously displaying dominance. We sender that their behaviour is asynchronous and they seem too dangerous.

Advisers often tell us that we have to be confident in our decisions. That decisions come at the end of a certainty-acquisition process and simply ratify an inner truth. But in fact it goes the other way round. Decisions create confidence.

Am impaired connection with the body leads to a muffler connection with one's own emotions, and a somewhat diminished ability to read the emotional responses of others.

Power poses actually affect hormone levels.

East Asians tend to express physical expansiveness on a vertical level (sitting or standing, bowing depth) unlike the horizontal axis preferred by westerners (taking up more space sideways)

Confident people tend to use 'I' less than low status people, because they are looking out at the world. They think about themselves in a positive light, clearing their head and making space for creativity, cognitive persistence and abstract thinking.

Movement, like posture, tells the brain how it feels and even manages what it remembers.

Expanding one's speech (pace of delivery) boosts confidence as well. People speak quickly when they fear being interrupted.

Slowing down is a power move too (time expansion).

Average head weighs 5.4kg, head tilted forward to use phone (60°) has effective weight of 27.2kg. Plus it contorts us into a powerless hunched pose.

Imagining oneself in power/powerless poses is effective too

Reframe anxiety to excitement to transform stage fright to stage presence

Expansive poses: Works for horses too.

[Hillary Pincus · Rating 4 out of 5]

Narrated by the author. Held my attention the entire time! Really enjoyed it.

I really enjoyed this read. From points on power poses to the benefits of yoga for PTS sufferers, Amy Cuddy lends insight on how we carry ourselves and the internal/external effects it has on our minds and bodies.
From a young age, my Mom was always on me about my posture. Little did I know (she probably didn't realize either), that she was teaching me some of these tips. Glad to learn more about it. Even made my 15 year old sit and watch Ms. Cuddy's TED talk on the subject. I highly recommend this selection. :)

[Matt Hutson · Rating 2 out of 5]

It's not that the content was bad, it's just that I could find this information anywhere. Some of the stories were original but that is the majority of the book, stories. It's not bad to have some stories but too many make the book bogged down. In my opinion, it's better to read a book like The Power of Now or The Four Agreements because they are short and precise. If you want a book about public speaking, go for any Carmine Gallo book. If you want a good book about confidence go for Six Pillars of Self-Esteem or Psycho-Cybernetics.

[Mark Potter · Rating 5 out of 5]

Presence is an excellent read for anyone who wants a better understanding of how the body can influence the mind as well as how to 'nudge' and 'power pose'/'starfish up' your way to becoming your "authentic best self". The author's story is inspirational as are the stories of others who have used her techniques. No matter which side of the podium or table you are on, I think this book can help the participants unlock the potential of the moment.

[ScienceOfSuccess · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book was written after the TED talk. Maybe watching it would be a better idea than reading this book since there is not much content added, just a few stories "from letters" after the TED.

[Carin · Rating 5 out of 5]

I picked up this book, aiming for a book that would be quiet and technical, thinking it would be great to read before bed (and put me to sleep.) Instead I found an utterly fascinating and profound book that I can't stop talking about.

Amy Cuddy did the now-famous TED talk on power poses and this book grew out of it, but it is about so much more. We need to be present for things in our lives, and that often starts with the body. if we sit in a position of powerlessness (legs wrapped around each other, shoulders caved in, arms crossed), we feel powerless, like a victim, and that affects our responses to life: we are more aware of outsiders, we don't listen well since we are distracted by potential dangers, our self-confidence is shot, among other things. But something as simple as shifting our sitting position--to crossing your knee at the ankle, putting your shoulders back, and even spreading your arms onto an adjoining chair if possible--can change your attitude, change your ability to listen and absorb what you're hearing, and change others' opinion of you (mostly from your confidence level).

There are a lot of nuances to this theory and she talks about everything form breathing to yoga to visualizing power poses. Backed up by clinical studies, this book is 100% science, not just some woo-woo notion that someone made up. Instead, you read about study after study where after sitting in the Coba position for two minutes, people picked power words out of a list of words, and vice-versa, things like that. Dr. Cuddy is a professor at Harvard Business School so she's eminently qualified to write this, and she gives both personal examples (she had a traumatic brain injury in her late teens which impacted her forever, and she has experienced Imposter Syndrome herself, partly as a response to that earlier injury) and examples from the hundred of people who have contacted her to say how her talks have affected them. I particularly liked the last chapter which was almost exclusively anecdotes from people who have put the power poses into practice and how they worked (the most interesting one being a horse trainer who got her horse to do power poses of a sort.)

I couldn't stop reading parts of this book out loud to my husband. I told my therapist and physical therapist/trainer about it. I have started doing some of its suggestions. This morning I danced in my office as studies show that dancing and singing are things you do not because you are happy, but in order to make yourself happy. This book is impacting my life. I am an evangelist. You must read this book now.

[Bridgette Beyers · Rating 5 out of 5]

My youngest sibling, a sweet 17 yr old girl was subjected to the most awful cyber bullying; she endured it but it left a mark. Self doubt set in and her school performance suffered. My parents asked me to return to Vancouver so that I may help her. I felt absolutely helplessness, instinctively I knew that Amy Cuddy was going to coach me so that I could do the same for my sister - No kidding! She was to be the coach because of an indelible impression her TedTalk had made on me. Google search revealed the Presence. This was the book I had to have. Fast forward ....... The book served as a how to manual for me, the perfect coach! It gave me an evidence based foundation for a plan to build my sister up - In short It worked!

What worked was getting the story right - that is her self conception had become as defined by her cyber bullies, we used the story idea from the book to help her to create her desired character and then step into it - reinforcement and body posture sealed the deal! That is the character and her are on a path of convergence - Nudging forward! I am waiting for the day they become indistinguishable.

Amy Cuddy is a leader among 'next generation' authors and academics who are pioneering evidence based approaches. She has crystallised the concept of presence in crisp and engaging language. Hitherto 'presence' had been viewed as somewhat of a mystery - My father who is a law buff introduced me to a book by Jerry Spence a Wyoming trial lawyer entitled 'How to argue and win every time' - eluded therein is the phenomenon of presence - "walking into a court room as if you owned the space.." He knew something intuitively, but Amy Cuddy has brought it alive and attainable. She has given the phenomenon a concise frame and a proven process which is accessible to all!

Her authenticity is clear through out the text. This is a must have book. I keep my copy with me all the time - my travel companion!

[Bookworm · Rating 1 out of 5]

Boring! I wanted to like the book, thinking maybe I might gain tips for job interviews. Previous feedback have included that I seem rather "quiet" or that I don't talk a lot. As an introvert, interviews are already a stretch for me and so I'm not sure how to better impress potential hiring people.
 
That said, I really didn't get anything worthwhile from the book. While I haven't watched the TED talk, I totally agree with reviews that say this book is quite repetitive. The e-mail and message reprints from her fans seemed odd and didn't really add much to the book. If anything, it made me think of book blurbs or sales pitches.
 
Also, some of the text just seemed like babble-y nonsense. The stories didn't really interest me and it felt like the material had been stretched. Other reviews confirm this: that it's both a TED talk and had been previously from an article. Many articles really don't need to be expanded into the book other than serving as a money-grabber.
 
Despite the recommendation, I'm not sure if I'll be checking out the TED talk. If the book is an expansion from this, it seems like the video will bore me too. I'd skip this book completely.

[Karin · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is perhaps the best book I have ever read on this subject. At first I wasn't sure, but once I made sure to read it for a challenge I was impressed. The writing is good, and the information well laid out. I have to say that the best part isn't right at the beginning.

Amy Cuddy and her colleagues have not only done a lot of work with their research, but she cites a number of other studies and includes feedback she has received on how to help yourself find presence in a situation--to feel more confident and to have the body language to convey it. The best part about it is a. it is surprisingly simple and b. can't hurt you to try for a while to see if it works. It's not a panacea, naturally, but we have been trying it at home (at least a couple of us) and so far so good, but it will take longer to really know.

Regardless, it was well worth the read.

[Davenport Public Library Iowa · Rating 5 out of 5]

An accessible, evidence-based, and deeply human book that shows how posture and posing can affect your mind, body, and real-world success. A warm and compassionate author urges her readers to claim their personal power so they can be fully present, access their best skills, and ultimately feel successful in every challenge they face.

Cuddy, a brain injury survivor famous for her TED talk on the same topic, shares study after study in great detail, all combining to show that our body positions and posture have a real effect on how we feel, how we think of ourselves, and how we perform in challenging situations. She ends by recommending a number of specific ways to incorporate open, expansive posture in our everyday lives, including power posing, standing desks, stretching exercises, and more.

The overall sense of this book is that a lot of care and thought went into crafting it; the author believes deeply in the research and recommendations she is presenting and shows it by nearly overwhelming the reader with evidence in favor of the argument. All the data is well-balanced with personal stories from the author and from others who have been helped by her research. Very effective and empowering to read, though the original TED talk is recommended as a condensed version of roughly the same information.

[Anyta Sunday]

Sound advice. This really helps me.

[Gijs Limonard · Rating 2 out of 5]

1,5 stars; exemplifies everything wrong with popular self-help literature and expounding psychology as a harder (with regard to predictive power) 'science' than it actually is;

- highly contingent on methods and circumstances, contestable research findings which are in turn
- highly selectively cited with a
- total lack of critical appraisal of the available evidence
- all geared towards force-fitting the data into
- a highly contentious but eminently quotable and monetizable psychological concept: [enter book title here]; in this case 'Presence', but 'Grit', 'Confidence', 'Courage', 'Authenticity', 'Personal energy' could all fit the bill just as well.

[K.L. Lantz · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is a life changer! I'm so happy it came into my life when it did. I wish I had read it before high school, before college, and before all those times I let negative self-evaluation stand between myself and being truly present when it mattered. But alas, Amy Cuddy hadn't written it yet. She hadn't even given her popular TED talk summarizing the "science of presence." The good news is that these powerful self-nudges work! And all of the positive experiences I've had and will yet have, create, as she says, a virtuous cycle for personal power. As someone who has dealt with anxiety all her life, I cannot recommend this book more highly to those who likewise suffer! There's hope, and it's so simple and accessible to anyone with any kind of body.

[Danielle · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was about the topic of the mind body connection in social psychology. it was specifically about how body language, body posture, how you speak, etc affects your mind. It has great ideas for learning to become more confident, getting out of a funky mindset or depression, doing better on tests or job interviews, etc. Loved this book! I learned so much! It was super well-researched and documented. The author did a TED talk, "Your Body Language Shapes Who You Are", that is a summary of her book. It's excellent! You should go to YouTube and listen to it right now!😉

[Darcy · Rating 3 out of 5]

I loved the message of this book. It is packed with a lot of testimonials and detailed descriptions of studies backing up the points made, so I would suggest just watching the TED talk and then reading the book only if you're really wanting to know more. It got a bit long for me.

[☘Misericordia☘ ⚡ϟ⚡⛈⚡☁ ❇️❤❣ · Rating 5 out of 5]

Read as 'Кадди Эми — Присутствие (духа)'

[Amanda · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this book and hearing how our presence/actions can set a positive, strong tone for our daily lives.

[LynnDee (LynnDee's Library) · Rating 3 out of 5]

I really liked the first half because a lot of it resonated with me, but the second half felt like it was repeating the same information, just in various ways.

Overall, I think if you watch the TED talk she mentions you will get the gist of what this book is about, but if you want more scientific backing and anecdotes then read the book.

[Sydney · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book took me a full year and a half to finish which could indicate Dr. Cuddy's need for a more decisive editor, but more likely points to my inability to stay focused on a single book at a time. But despite it's length, I *power pose* am *power pose* convinced *power pose* of *power pose* her *power pose* research! *grand starfish finale*

[Patricia Ferguson · Rating 4 out of 5]

Enjoyed this read. Upon completion I was reminded of a song by Helen Reddy - I am strong, I am invincible, I am woman!!
- power poses rock!

[Bensu]

Kitabı yarım bırakıyorum. Normalde hiç kişisel gelişim okumamıştım. Bir kere okuyayım dedim onda da bazı insanlar bakış acımı değiştirdiği için okuma isteğim kalmadı. Yolculuk buraya kadarmış.