PSYCHO NYMPH EXILE

by Porpentine Charity Heartscape

gurowave novella about a disgraced biomech pilot and her girlfriend, an ex-magical girl

Genres: Queer, Fiction, Science Fiction, LGBT, Transgender, Horror, Romance

186 pages, Paperback

First published February 29, 2016

About the author

wrote Serious Weakness, Torture Works, a bunch of other shit

Reviews

[Xian Xian · Rating 4 out of 5]

I’m a huge fan of Porpentine’s text games, her punch-you-in-the-face, body horror, css short stories but also her poignant, clammy handed, warming vignettes; because loneliness is powerful and a shared experience everywhere. Psycho Nymph Exile was a novella that was released last year and I was highly anticipating it because I love Porp’s prose so much and I wanted to know what it would be like without the interactivity.


Interactive Fiction is a genre of writing that requires a certain writing style that widely differs from traditional fiction. However with this novella, she doesn’t completely rid her writing of that, she places footnotes containing one or two sentences, adding a little something more in the background, usually micro poems and descriptions for places and individuals, human or not. Which is similar to what she does in her games when you click on certain hyperlinks. Play Vesp if you want to know what I’m talking about.

I can’t really say I enjoyed this novel as much as I thought I would. And I hate to say it. The writing was solid, clean cut, and oozing with green goo, erotica, and gore, much like her twine games. But something felt missing. It didn’t feel the same. And it’s not that I expected it to be exactly the same as her IF, but rather the novella just felt disorienting? Usually Porp’s stories are, but this felt disorienting in the sense that I had no idea what was going on and things felt unexplained, the world building occurred but so minimally that I couldn’t really draw it out in my mind. Also there was constant perspective switching from third to first. I somehow missed out on who is the “I” narrator. I’m not really sure if my difficulty consuming this novel is my fault – in the sense that I wasn’t paying attention or had reading burnout – or if the writing style truly just wasn’t for me. This novella felt similar to a lot of the super duper cyberpunk novels that were released back in the 80s and 90s, with all of its mechanical jargon and futuristic surrealism. Maybe it’s because I’m not that familiar with the genre? I love everything Porpentine touches, but I didn’t dig this novella as much as I thought I would.

Try it if you like: Cyberpunk, erotic fiction, slime, poetry, metafiction.

Rating: 3.5/5

Crosspost from Across From Here

[Judas Taph · Rating 5 out of 5]

About halfway through the book, I realized that what was happening could technically be considered world-building, but that doesn't sound right, all things considered. Then I thought it felt more like a prophecy, but prophecies are weak in comparison. It's a reflection of a reality stronger than ours, told with unflinching confidence in the correctness of the words and syntax used--or, at least, the impression of confidence is there due to how hyper-competent the book ends up being.

I don't think I'm using words correctly, but whatever. Book was good. Please read it.

[💜 · Rating 5 out of 5]

We wish there were a world for us, too.

Crushingly beautiful, may cause major episodes of dissociation, sobbing. It all seems so hopeless, but it pierces through to reality in a way I've never experienced before. Please read it if you can and feel safe doing so.

[Briar Page · Rating 5 out of 5]

A novel that is experimental in a way that makes me want to ask bullshit questions like "why are we calling this a novel and not a book-length poem?", PSYCHO NYMPH EXILE presents itself as a collage of brief vignettes or moments that taken together don't so much map a sci-fi world as a deeply personal mythology about trauma, survivor's guilt, outcast-ness, and embodiment. The use of tropes and motifs from anime and internet subcultures in the novel form is cool; mechs and magical girls as a way to talk about human wreckage and explore the psychology of the disturbed, impoverished, shunned, and multiply-violated trans women at the story's heart. There's a distinct bizarro fiction flavor here as well, which initially draws the reader in with tongue-in-cheek parody and gross-out, sexualized, surreal mech battle scenes rendered in fast-paced, minimalist prose. But other elements sneak up on you: an uncompromising cynical bleakness that comes off as hard-earned and thoroughly lived, a wistful sweetness and tenderness that slightly counterbalances that while also making it far more difficult to sit with (you really feel for these characters!). Uncomfortable but necessary insights about the way power dynamics work, not just within society at large or between the rich and the poor, but within queer social groups, or between the comparatively-doing-all-right and the extremely marginal members of a given minority.

PSYCHO NYMPH EXILE seems to be, or at least be in the process of becoming, something of a new cult classic in trans circles, and all I can say is it definitely deserves that status.

[Wren · Rating 5 out of 5]

I feel this more than anything.

Let's find us a way out of this, together.

[Sasha · Rating 5 out of 5]

"I wish there was a world for us"

I finished this yesterday and couldn't stop crying in the coffee shop. Actually, I kept myself from finishing it for a while because every paragraph was so tragic and relatable. I saw myself and my life in this book despite its William S. Burroughs-esque drug addled body horror presentation - within all of the shit, gore, and getting high of a brutal life of barely scraping by are little glimmers of beauty and truth. Yet it's set in a world where those things must be hidden, buried deep inside, shared only with those who understand and are extremely intimate. The sad, longing feeling for love and connection that permeates the girls' inner worlds slowly gets chipped away at by the harsh, capital-driven, fetishistic environment that they're born in and much of the book feels to me like an exposition of this slow descent. The themes are typical trans anime tropes (mechs and magical girls) but set in a reality as strange, harsh, and surprising imaginable as something William Gibson would create. How do magical girls get those beautiful gems that adorn their bodies? What are mechs and what's so special about piloting one? What is a transformation sequence feel like from the inside? What is it like to have fans throwing themselves at you while walking the thin line between mental and material self-preservation? The answers are all slowly revealed in a long and disjointed sequence of vignettes that feels like a life of hasty and short-sighted survival while also revealing that this is the world we all inhabit. As a trans girl, I've been Vellus and I've been with Venus, I've transformed, I hide the bright jewel within me every day. This book truly spoke to me and hit me in a way that no other trans literature has - I'm not at all the kind of women written about in 'Detransition, Baby', I too am just a magical girl holding on to her strange and beautiful misfit trans family and who just wishes there was a world for us.

[Tristan Cordelia · Rating 3 out of 5]

(CN: Mental Illness and Trauma) Psycho Nymph Exile was my first time reading Porpentine’s writing, which was likely a mistake – I suspect this novella would land better if I’d gotten into her work via her text games. The book is a bit of a transgirl bodyhorror version of Evangelion – ex-biomecha-pilot Vellus hooks up with ex-magical-girl Isidol and they work through their trauma together with Vellus’ headless sexbot, in a world seething with neon-coloured trash and goo. Each girl was a member of a special, magical community that threw her out after she suffered too much damage, and so they found one-another discarded together.

This is all essentially a series of intertwining metaphors for mental illness and co-dependent self-care/self-harm struggling; both characters are subject to bouts of Despair Syndrome with Temporal Purge (DSTP), a physical light that strikes them and causes paranormal changes to their minds and bodies but which is of course a very on-the-nose representation of PTSD.

Porpentine’s imagery is fantastic – the colourful body-horror is visceral and quite unlike any body-horror work I’ve encountered before – but the symbolism overwhelms the less vivid characters and their plot. I liked it, given its unique flavour and brief length, but didn’t feel compelled to return to the world it conjured up, or wonder about the undecided fate of the characters once it was over. It’s more a series of impressions than a compelling narrative, which is fine, but limited.

[Theo · Rating 5 out of 5]

this was sooo weird let's go

[asmalldyke · Rating 5 out of 5]

Get your brain fucked!!

Psycho Nymph Exile absolutely rules, I decided it while I was sitting with it for literal months. It's uncommon for me to take this long with any reading, but A) the funny novella melted my brain, B) Psycho Nymph has a lot going on. Its influences are pretty obvious, like, you know Neon Genesis Evangelion? Strip out all of its weird and replace it with Genderweird, you have Vellus and her being, pretty much. I couldn't tell you exactly where Isidol is drawn from, (it's probably Madoka Magica but my ex couldn't force me to watch it in time, lmao) but it renders the magical-girl process as visceral and innately violent, to go with emphasising and amplifying the biohorror aspect of biomecha and such.

If you asked me to summarise it beyond that, I would say "Well, uhhhh," and "you know Ada Rook albums, like 2,020 Knives or something?" and "Well, it's traumatic," and other funny things. I dunno if it's assuming that much prior awareness on part of the reader though, and plus like, fuck all that anyway, right? Psycho Nymph is a catharsis read, and it cuts surprisingly close to the bone at times, between the rivers of massive GAIGA gore (they die fighting the anti-GAIGA and so do the trash girl pilots)(a crime by the academy) and magical girl battles, (who fuckin' knows) its on-the-pavement day-to-day barely veiled but no less impactful for it. A world where the only viable jobs for us (which are hard to keep) are "mecha pilot" or "magical girl" is sorta hilarious in a dark, reflective way. Sometimes it's just abstracted enough not to be extremely painful, but sometimes the extra layer makes it hurt more, actually. The duality is mildly fascinating.

It is really truly fr "about trashgirls living on the edge of society being mobbed for the crime of attempted survival"! I understood THAT fuckin' reference!! Waow!

I think the author is doing something pretty right, because this one kept overloading my brain and necessitating I put it down for a bit. A sensory overload really, I felt a whole bunch about it all at once. I still do. It's pretty unafraid to smash the tiny, gentle moments of human sexual connection right up against the eye-searing moments of brutal violence, which is a choice mix and often rules, when I'm in the mood for it. I was in a weird place about it often, so combined with the sensory-emotional sensitivity, it can be weird watching things happen. Psycho Nymph takes *spoons* if you have a snall brain.

Sometimes Psycho Nymph addresses You in the narration, but it cannot possibly be the literal reader, surely. That raises way too many questions. "Your tail is twisted tight around your ankle." Yeah!!! But also, huh? There's a lot I did *not* get, but I actually do know what a "crush video" is and I did NOT need an entire footnote describing one on the same page. Those footnotes are maybe the single weirdest thing about it, that random chunks of narration get a li'l "1" and then a description or a continuation or random interjection, sometimes several? Sometimes they're nested? I have no idea where this developed or why it exists, it strikes me as similar to interrupting yourself with too many long-dashes.

There is also a lot about infinite towers of pure crystallised trauma, of catgirl sexual exploitation, (just like in irl) of alternate worlds and micro-portals. I feel like I'm forgetting stuff, but going over it all meaningfully would probably melt my brain again. At least it would be awesome.

I thought I would be at least reasonably prepared to read Psycho Nymph Exile, but really I think nobody ever is. This one is utterly singular, and I'm gonna keep chewing on it pretty much whenever I can for however long is left for me. It's a thing I'm glad to have.

[Emily Perkovich]

Soooooo....what? I have no idea what I’m reading. I gave up. I don’t even remember the last time I gave up on a book. I knew from the description that this was probably very much bizarro and that most likely disgusting with body horror. None of that is the issue. The problem is that this seems like some sort of inside joke that even with all of the extraneous details leaves me lost. I didn’t rate this because while the writing was fun and I loved the footnotes idea, I honestly had no idea what was happening. I tried to make it through to the point where I’d get some romance in hopes that maybe the narrative would make more sense, but I didn’t make it that far. I think maybe if I could sit down and talk to the author, it would be revelatory, and I would be like omg this is so fun and crazy and sad and sweet. But without that background...i feel it’s better to leave this unrated.

[cosima concordia · Rating 5 out of 5]

Adult trans women beset with the devastating childhood traumas inflicted on the altars of their respective anime genres (mechs, magical girls) come together in this tale of T4T love that both mirrors our reality and transcends it—a nightmarish bouquet of mental instability and body horror in the ghoulish wastelands of capitalism. There is nothing else quite like this wondrously strange book in print, and it signifies entirely new landscapes—not just for trans lit but for storytelling as a whole. Porpentine writes “I wish there was a world for us”, and here, perhaps, she has begun to excavate one.

[Joey Comeau · Rating 5 out of 5]

this book is the future, god willing

[Natalie · Rating 5 out of 5]

what a nice love story

[Tierra Fragmentada · Rating 5 out of 5]

Había leído este libro hace como 3 años y me gustó tanto que imprimí y encuaderné yo mismo el PDF (comprado en Itchio, no descargado) solo por el placer de tener en físico esta novela. Y ahora después de mucho tiempo de su primera lectura he querido releer una vez mas mi PDF impreso antes de recibir mi edición en físico que ya está en camino

Creo que toda la ciencia ficción escrita por autores queer tiene una experiencia muy particular en ella, en este caso la experiencia trans, pero esta novela también contiene una estética con la que conecto mucho, es una especie de mezcla del anime de mechas y magical girls, con algunas influencias de Cronenberg, Hideaki Anno, Chiaki Konaka...casi parece lo que obtendrías al meter Evangelion, la filmografía de Cronenberg, Serial Experiments Lain y Madoka Magica en una batidora.

Es extraña y onírica, a veces tengo que detenerme a asimilar aquello que me está contando y otras pararme a pensar si ciertas partes de la experiencia trans no están entrando dentro de mi al ser una persona cis

Pero su retrato de la psicología de sus personajes, las relaciones abusivas, cómo el capitalismo es más hostil con los grupos minoritarios, siempre me hacen sentir lo vigente que sigue esta novela. Desearía que fuera más conocida.

[Keegan · Rating 5 out of 5]

"I am bitter and resentful, I am not ready to give up this life. I hope another me, as stubborn but a little brighter, is out there, and will carry on."

I went into this thinking it was going to be more about mechs or the world that needs them, but it's more about the people that society discards after using them. Very poetic, even the way the footnotes are written, it reads much less like a novel than I expected, more like a collection of epigrams.

In an interview she says, "I don’t have feelings of my own. I just serve as a conduit for the feelings of, really, just the average Jane on the street. Just the average person." and I think it really shows in this book. her portrayals of PTSD (DSTP) and trauma are just very grounding and relatable amongst all the goop and body horror. PCH's prose just always feels so relatable as well, especially the way her characters think and feel.

[James · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is Porpentine at her most visceral. Literally: it's a work featuring every imaginable genre of body horror. In the first few pages, it almost felt like she was trying to get me to stop reading. In fact, I finished the book in around two and a half hours. It's that good.

The utter dystopia of the worlds of 'Psycho Nymph Exile' is counterbalanced by flashes of grim, self-aware satire: the book mocks literary fiction, catgirls and tag urself memes, among other things. The worldbuilding is, of course, spectacular.

I would recommend playing a few Porpentine games before reading this novel, and additionally reading her essay 'Hot Allostatic Load'. 'Psycho Nymph Exile' is about trans womanhood, PTSD, and structural and interpersonal violence, and (in my opinion) exists in continuity with Porpentine's other works on these topics.

[Pizza Princess · Rating 5 out of 5]

Best queer poetry collection / non linear novella I've read since Jordaan Mason's The Skin Team.

This is the kind of world building that I appreciate in literature; the descriptions of the environment are minimalist but vivid, which allows my mind a lot of freedom with conceptualizing what the world looks like, and the worldbuilding serves a purpose in exploring the themes of the novel, which is basically just the trans experience of having been chewed up and spit out by a society that feels intrinsically built to oppress neglected trash girls. I like how pessimistic the book is, and how it describes the phenomenon of how t4t love can be both toxic and yet the only glue keeping these tragic figures from killing themselves.

[Carina Stopenski · Rating 5 out of 5]

visceral, rich, and otherworldly, this book explores liminality, humanity, and relationships in a way i didn’t think possible. the blending of postmodernist literary methods and science fiction plot vessels make for a swirling world of uncertainty, ero-guro-esque sexuality, and bodily turmoil. the small segments makes it easier to digest the incredibly power-packing content. while many elements of the text were outright disturbing and bordering on trigger material for me personally, the vulnerability, aesthetic prose, and tenderness with which it was written made up for it. 100% not for the faint of heart but definitely a thought-provoking, conversation starting read.

[Elizabeth King · Rating 4 out of 5]

PSYCHO NYMPH EXILE is a surrealism science fiction novella about love, sex, trauma and violence. It is a whirlwind ride of abstract prose and stream of consciousness, written by a prolific writer and game designer whose main body of work includes many interactive hypertext games. PSYCHO NYMPH EXILE was a part of a commissioned project by Rhizome, a not-for-profit arts organization that supports and provides a platform for new media art. Through the eyes of biomech pilots and magical girls, this novella is a gruesome and haunting grimdark trans lesbian fairy tale.

Read the full review on my blog: https://rosesbooks.home.blog/2020/09/...

[Kiisupai · Rating 4 out of 5]

Poetically both wonderful and piercing over every passage due to a stream of highly expressive, yet concise vertical slices of its characters and the spaces they inhabit. Parts of it feel heavily inspired by Neon Genesis Evangelion and similar anime/manga that feature mechas of organic origin, while later parts make more overt references to magical girl shows like Sailor Moon. But the final work is far more than the sum of its constitute parts and has a life and style of its own.

My only struggle was that certain repeat descriptive motifs wore me down by the end, especially as I became more engaged with the characters, rather than their bodies.

[henghost · Rating 4 out of 5]

Like if Burroughs had written a cut-up novelization of End of Evangelion and Madoka Magica. (This should be understood as perhaps the highest compliment I am capable of paying.) The only contemporary romance I've read that feels in the least bit real. Infection and decay permeate every page, smelling of the internet at 3am; in other words, it is an honest depiction of our culture -- vanishingly rare nowadays. Full of endless poetry, lines scribbled in mini-footnotes like obscure tweets from the near future. "I wish seven angels were kneeling around my prone body saying we will take care of you forever."

[Sophie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Unlike anything I've read before. My girlfriend pitched it to me as a very fucked up mech/magical girl story and that's more or less what it is, but it's really less of a novel and more of a series of windows into the lives of two deeply hurt archetypes living in one of the most enthralling hellscapes I've read about in a long time. A beautiful biopunk nightmare that's bound to annoy/possibly upset a lot of folks, but that played beautifully to my personal sensibilities.

[S. L. Void · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is some of the most incredible literature ive ever read. I love trans people. I love trans women. This is a love letter to everything transfeminine existence gives to the world. I am so full of love and feeling. I have never read transfeminine bodies written so beautifully and clearly. I fell in love 30 times over reading this. Thank you Porpentine.

[Berreggnog · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was, all things considered, a unique and deeply weird experience. Really screwed with my ideas of what a novel is supposed to do, but unlike most books of that ilk, it remained compelling throughout, rather than disappearing up its own posterior - much. Recommend!

[Randi · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is something you'd want to pick up if you like guro but put into words. There are some very deep, frighteningly real one liners in this about identity, trauma, and crisis... I feel like I might've read it too fast, but I'll probably revisit this.

[Stephen · Rating 5 out of 5]

A delirious nightmare that I will never forget.

[V.]

Actual genius. This is what experimental fiction should be.

[gwen · Rating 5 out of 5]

“We broken girls build ourselves piece by piece, so we have a better chance than anyone of seeing truly. If the sight doesn’t obliterate us, make us crazy and unloveable.”

[Tom Nieboer · Rating 5 out of 5]

boundless

[/Fitbrah/ · Rating 4 out of 5]

I enjoyed this despite being a transphobe.

Very raw. Feels like a woke liberal version of Delicious tacos and/or Mike Ma. Hope author gets over whatever they have.