Keeping Faith: A Skeptic's Journey – A Resonant Memoir Bridging Zen Buddhism and Christian Faith

by Fenton Johnson

In his resonant account of a spiritual quest, Fenton Johnson examines what it means for a skeptic to have and to keep faith. Exploring Western and Eastern monastic traditions, Johnson lives as a member of the community at the Trappist Abbey of Gethsemani in Kentucky and at the branches of the San Francisco Zen Center. Ultimately his encounter with Buddhism brings him to a new understanding and embrace of Christianity. Weaving together meditations on Johnson's spiritual journey with history and insights from modern monks, Keeping Faith offers a blueprint for a new way of practicing faith.

Genres: Spirituality, Religion, Nonfiction, Christianity, History, Buddhism, Biography

336 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 2003

About the author

Fenton Johnson is an award-winning author who teaches in the creative writing programs at the University of Arizona and Spalding University.

Librarian note: There is more than one author in the Goodreads database with this name.

Fenton^Johnson

Reviews

[Ruth · Rating 4 out of 5]

On my daily train rides home, I normally read fiction because after I've edited nonfiction all day it's generally not appealing as a means of relaxation. However, when I saw this book on a Barbara's Bookstore sale table, I realized that narrative nonfiction could be an exception. So Keeping Faith has been my commute-reading fare for the past few days.

As it turned out, it's not actually all narrative, though the heart of the book is Johnson's exploration of Cistercian and Buddhist monasticism and the effects on his own spiritual journey. My opinion is that he shines in direct narration of his experiences at several Zen centers in northern California and at Gethsemani Abbey in his native Tennessee, whereas his historical and especially theological chapters, periodically interspersed, are not as gripping and sometimes overstate his case. But the latter judgment may depend on how much you as the reader actually buy his opinions (I don't buy all of them)--and maybe how willing you are to spend your free time reading expository nonfiction. :-)

In any case, the book was thought-provoking and worthwhile. But now I'll go back to my pile of novels . . .

[Scott Pomfret · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a gay man's journey to discover what faith is (and what his faith is). Born a Catholic in rural Kentucky near the Trappist monastery of Thomas Merton, the author renounces the religion of his birth and moves to San Francisco, where he embraces, respectively, men and Buddhism. Inspired by a intentional gathering of Buddhist and Catholic monks, the author decides to live among monks of both faiths. He weaves stories of his Catholic youth in the shadow of the monastery, his father's friendship with the monks, and interviews with other lay Catholics (especially persons abused by priests and monks) to round out his personal journey. The author in particular struggles with the treatment of gays and women by the Church as well as with what he calls clerical "abuse" but we twenty years later call rape. The Catholic portions seems richer, in part because the misdeeds of the Buddhists seem far less.

Ultimately, it felt as if the author's determination to have "something more" than a faithless life predetermines where this account goes, that is, toward a richer personal faith, however hesitant and reluctant, two steps forward and one back. He ultimately casts faith not as something one has, but as a practice, and this is only mildly satisfying.

[Titiaan · Rating 3 out of 5]

I read this book as part of a friend's book club. It chronicles the journey of an American man who finds his way back to Christian faith in his forties, after having rejected the Roman Catholic church in his teenage years.

This book spoke to me in a variety of ways. It discussed the Trappist monastery of Gethsemani, where Thomas Merton was abbott. It considers a dialogue between Buddhism and Christianity—the two faiths I know most about. It chronicles the journey of a spiritual seeker.

That said, unlike other reviewers, this book didn't transfix me. That may not be about the book as much as it said something about me —maybe Johnson's writing simply did not meet me in a place where I really was looking for it.

[Matthew · Rating 5 out of 5]

Rarely have I read a book that meets me so close to where I am.

For anyone who wrestles with how to separate faith from belief, for anyone who was shaped by faithful community in youth only to have their personhood rejected by it, for anyone who is looking around and saying “this world makes no sense to me as it is”, for anyone longing to rediscover circular time and to explore some of the history of spiritual wisdom: Read. This. Book. Now.

[Katie · Rating 5 out of 5]

One of my favorite reads of 2020! A few monks recommended this to me, and it danced between all my favorite categories -- faith and skepticism, history and contemporary commentary, identity and tradition, etc. For anyone interested in monasticism, I highly recommend this.

[Janice · Rating 4 out of 5]

As a child the life of Fenton Johnson, and the lives of all of his large Catholic family, are closely intertwined with the lives of Monks living in a monastery near the Fenton home in Kentucky. As an adult, Fenton feels alienated and skeptical of his childhood faith. In this book, he tells of his journey, both spritiually and phsyically, exploring the monastic life among both Christians and Buddhists, male and female, as well as his recapture of some pieces of his own lost faith. The author does not thread lightly, discussing with monks the sexual victimization of children by priests and monks; Fenton discusses Christianity's failure to recognize the importance of desire as it relates to faith, and looks for the root cause of this to the church's early adoption of the philosophy of Plato, wherein the mind and body are split, with the mind being the far superior, the body debase. Fenton also examines the role of celibacy, adopted by the church in the 1100's, as an attempt to ensure that offspring of priests could make no claims on church properties.
While this author does explore and expose some of the less than "shining moments" within both Christian and eastern traditions, he also finds beauty and meaning, and a way to again embrace the faith he once felt. The language Fenton uses to describe his journey, and his own refelctions, is descriptive, someitmes poetic. These are some of my favorite lines, near the end of the book:
“Courtesy of the Buddhists, I have come to realize that faith is not at all the same as belief...Doctrine and dogma can serve as a means to faith..but to confuse them for faith is to confuse the map with the journey...I believe because all that is graceful and good in the human condition arises from the disciplined imagination, including the capacity to embrace and share our suffereing and still to have faith”.
And writing from a desert canyon in Arizona: "The interior forces of the planet stand unconcealed by vegetation...Creation presents itself as the work-in-progress that it is...I speak in a hushed voie because I understand that we are in church, wrapped in the living silence of God”.

[Mike · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is a fantastically written travelog into the immaterial dimensions of the human soul. It could be argued that every literary work takes this journey; however, Fenton Johnson explicitly takes it, and journals every step of his entry into the deeper dimensions of Self. Fantastically written, Johnson shows off his descriptive ability and insight--an insight, self-admittedly, pursued at the stake of ordinariness. In addition to a moving personal journey, "Keeping Faith" explores the growing connection between Eastern and Western spirituality, providing a link to Buddhism and Christianity, without compromising any great Truth from either world tradition. Finally, the book's form and structure, much like its proposed present-day spirituality, is progressive: sure, it's linked throughout and ends in powerful narrative fashion; but the book is also forged in such a manner that it could be read in short, profound spurts. Times change, and sometimes society dictates that the novel can't be read in a determined, lengthy sit; Johnson seems to realize and accomadate the short attention span of today's reader; in doing so, he provides meditative pathways for the reader to move beyond present-day conditioning.

[Heidi · Rating 4 out of 5]

A chaotic but lovely gumbo of story, theology, and history written between multiple stays at the Trappist monastery, Gethsemani, in Kentucky, and the three sites of the San Francisco Zen Center, by a passionate searcher, gay man, journalist, and thoughtful critic of the Roman Catholic hierarchy - a man who is searching for faith, and... finds it. He writes about sexuality, suffering, women in the church, some history of Benedictine monasticism, Buddhism in California, Augustine and Cassian, rural Kentucky life (where he grew up), and living in the tension of belief and skepticism. Long (too long?) but good stuff.

[Mitch · Rating 5 out of 5]

I wanted to get this book a few years ago, but didn't in my post-dissertation brain shut off - Fenton is now in the chorus I sing in and it took me a few rehearsals to make the connection. I'll save comments for when I'm done, but I can say now, you should read this book, it's a brilliantly crafted mix of history, philosophy, and personal memoir...

[James]

As a Kentuckian who is attracted to both the lives of Catholic monks and Buddhism, I found this book a captivating read. Anyone with interest in the experiences of contemplatives from very different traditions should take a look. Johnson examines common sacred ground while exposing the human heart.

[Diana Nielsen · Rating 5 out of 5]

Powerful book. Inspiring.

Staggering depth and comprehension of two faith traditions and how one man's journey can help guide us all. Beautifully written. Every page contained something thought provoking or inspiring.

[TheCritterRick]

While this book brings up a lot of interesting questions, I felt the answers were indistinct and confusing. This book is over a decade old, I wonder what an update might look like in light of the author's articles since writing it.

I especially had trouble with his thoughts on forgiveness. Yes, it's about letting go of one's anger for an injustice done - but it isn't about an ongoing acceptance of the injustice. The Catholic church has to change its position on women in ministry and the acceptance of gays. Forgiveness is not enough.