Young Emma Murphy kills people, but only if they deserve to die.
Emma was unloved from the moment she was born. Her earliest memory is being severely beaten by her father, Pepper Murphy, when she was eight-years-old. Seething with resentment over the sacrifice of his dreams for a woman he cares little about and children he never wanted, Pepper chooses to blame his oldest daughter. Her mother, Valerie, makes matters worse with her verbal abuse, leaving Emma isolated with a man that had no boundaries in punishing his daughter, taking his abuse to unimaginable levels.
Emma's father's coldblooded beatings and the ultimate abuse to which he subjects her, lays the foundation of the person she becomes. As she matures into a resourceful teenager, she is unwilling and unable to stifle her desire for revenge. Reaching her breaking point she can no longer control the impulse to fight back and finally takes matters into her own hands.
Having learned the art of hatred from her father and the mastery of manipulation from her mother, young Emma now sets out to make a better life for herself, leaving the memory of the abused child she had once been behind her. Hardened by the heartless brutality she encounters and the dangerous situations she must overcome in the course of her journey, she faces every challenge that comes her way in her quest for a normal life for herself and for those she loves.
Finally a person emerges from within that guides her toward a better life until she learns of a secret that sets her on the path of ultimate redemption.
**WARNING**18+ Readers Only. Graphic content and subject matter.
#1 Amazon bestselling author Paige Dearth is a survivor of child abuse. Through grit and pure determination she set out to provide a look inside the pain and suffering caused by childhood trauma through her novels.
Paige writes real-life horror and refers to her work as Fiction With Meaning. She hopes that her fictional stories will create awareness for prevention and intervention. Paige writes stories about young children who need to overcome adversity and then take you on their life’s journey. You will shed tears of joy, grief, rage, and horror. She wants her readers to be thinking about the story long after they have turned the last page.
Paige believes that society should not look the other way because a subject seems too difficult to handle and to remember that people live through these real-life horrors.
Paige lives in the suburbs of Philadelphia, Pennsylvania with her husband Mike, and dog, Benny. Her debut novel, Believe Like A Child, was the catalyst for her writing platform. The beginning of Believe Like A Child is based on events from Paige’s childhood. Paige’s novels present a fine balance between what lives on in her imagination and the evil that lurks in the real world.
Paige’s favorite motto is:
“Justice will not be served until those who are unaffected are as outraged as those who are.”
~Benjamin Franklin
PAIGE'S STANDALONE NOVELS IN ORDER OF PUBLICATION:
Paige Dearth has a way of writing about tough subjects that most people either gloss over or simply skip altogether. She does not pretty it up; she just writes what needs to be said. And although the books she writes are fiction, I have no doubt that there are girls and women out in the world who can relate to what she is not afraid to write about.
When Smiles Fade is the story of Emma, a young girl growing up in an unloving, abusive family. Her father blamed her for his own mistakes; her mother lived in a fantasy world. The only love she receives is from her little sister, Grace, who she tries to protect from the worst of the abuse. Years of abuse leave Emma untrusting and wary, and her choices in the years to come reflect those feelings. While Emma does not always make the right choices, she makes the ones she can live with and she feels are the best for her and those she loves.
Once again, Paige Dearth's characters come alive in this book. The emotion she is able to elicit from her characters and pass on through her words is incredible. I love how the characters' lives in this story intertwined with the characters from her previous story, Believe Like a Child. While the two books are completely stand alone, the story lines overlap, and it was fun to see the interaction between the two.
While this book is not for the faint of heart, I am once again glad that I had the chance to read it. A story like this sticks with you long after the last page and makes you grateful for the life you have.
I get that there are horrible people out there who do horrible things to other people. Do we really need to push the issue so hard? The childhood tragedy was enough for Emma to have to suffer through. At what point do we say, that's enough rape for one book? Also, at what point do I get to question Emma's decision making? She's a victim who is so strong and tough that she takes out not one, but two of her abusers then disfigures her mother to show that she is not a victim anymore. Then, she just lets herself be a victim again, repeatedly. I'm sorry, but if I truly don't want to be a victim anymore and if I truly have only my little sister's safety and well being at heart, why would I allow some dickhead like Ethan to come into my life and make me a victim? I get that abusers are manipulative and controlling. That may explain her falling for him the first time. But, why should I accept the fact that she continues to let him back into her life? At some point, can't we just see her be the heroine of her own story? Ugh. I'm sorry, but I got so angry as I was reading this. I kept cringing over every stupid thing she did to put herself and Gracie at risk and keep them there. I would cringe even more every time she said how much she wanted to protect Gracie and then Izzy and keep them safe. Really? Huh. Not seeing it.
This is a Very Dark Hard Hitting Horror Suspense, and this is the second book in the Home Street Home Series. I have read and reviewed the first book in this series before picking up this book, but I do not think you have to read the first book before picking up this book. I do think if you had read the first book it would put it together for you. This book is not for all readers, and there is a ton of things that can trigger a reader some are (rape of child, child abuse, killing). This book is hard to read at times, and I feel the story did not really pick up until the end of the book. I did enjoy seeing some of the characters for the other books. This book's timeline goes back over some of the same things that happen in the first book, but it is for a different character's point of view. That is not my favorite thing. I do think that overall this is a well written book that will stay with you for a long time. I won a Kindle edition of this book from a Goodreads giveaway. This review is my own honest opinion about the book like all my reviews are.
DNF. I won't be finishing this. Synopsis: Dad comes home drunk, beats up kids, rinse & repeat with minor variations, until daughter kills dad with poison; then (as of the point in the book at which I am giving up) daughter contemplates killing Mom's new pervert boyfriend with poison. No great writing here, no interesting plot twists. I realize many children live with abusive fathers, and I'm sorry for them (I did not have that experience), but this book has not helped me understand or empathize any more than I already do, and there are better books to move on to.
It was... a trying read. So tiring and so repetitive. Rape, rape, and some more rape. It was the same thing in every chapter. Like, holy shit - calm down.
FTC - I received this book for free through Goodreads giveaway.
Emma Murphy was unloved from the day she was born. Brutally abused by her father Pepper, and verbally abused by her mother Valerie. She wants to protect her younger sister Gracie, she can not even think of her sister going through what she did.
As Emma matures the memories of her abuse haunt her, they hound her to no end. Soon she has a vengeance, she no longer wants to be the victim. She takes off and hopes to begin a new life. Along the way she makes new friends, learns that trust is something earned not given.
She finds it is not easy to be young and on her own, but with her hatred of her father and mother she hardens her heart and does what she must to survive.
A very emotional read. We are brought into the mind of Young Emma by Paige Dearths masterful writing, with vivid and often graphic detail I could actually feel what Emma was going through.
To me it seemed like it was capitalizing on shock value. The reader is supposed to go "Oh no!" while eagerly reading all the overblown horror. Of course kids are born in to cycles of terrible abuse. I have known several people who were severely abused in their childhood. But the reasons seemed trite and unrealistic. Parents usually simply do it because it was done to them...and because kids are a burden. No big reasons like blame for their own failures are needed. And in the end it doesn't justify killing anyone except in self defense. I am not sure if killing in self defense if you chose to put yourself into a dangerous situation could even be called self defense. It all seemed overblown and foolish.
Having previously already read and reviewed one of Paige’s heart wrenching books, I knew when she announced her new book, that I was in for another rollercoaster of a ride.
What leaves you breathless about Paige’s books, and this is no different than the first, is the amount of emotions you find yourself going through as a reader. From the total unexpected anguish that you didn’t see coming from the first page, to the bubble of hope as you travel on a journey with these characters and find yourself crossing your fingers for a happy ending.
Paige gives her characters a surreal quality, that is rare in other books. Taken from experiences of her own, as well as the sensitive matters of such issues, Dearth manages to mould all the pieces in to a pottery of delicate artwork. You feel. You cry. You hope.
Bonds of family are tested again in this novel, as we see love between siblings, bubbling hatred for those who have wronged Emma, and a desire to no longer be the victim but rather to do what it takes and not let life drag you down.
I couldn’t put this book down, something that’s becoming glaringly obvious with every book of Paige’s that I pick up and I hope everyone else picks this up too, and feels the way I felt, and so many other readers too.
On a side note, I just wanted to add something. Paige first got in touch with me in March 2012, requesting me to read and review her book.
The sincerity and reality of Paige’s book and Paige herself, touched me. I, like so many others now, read her book and a year on, she emailed me to let me know that her first book had won the National Indie Excellence Book Award 2013. I couldn’t be happier for an author to get such an award, and hope that there’s many more of those to come Paige’s way.
Paige Dearth is a masterful writer in this section of child abuse because of her involvement/experiences. However, we understand that repetitive rape happens over and over again, its hard for the child, hard for all involved and hard to stomach at times by the reader.
I didn't have to choose to read this, I could have turned my back on the book, however, Paige Dearth has a knack of keeping me drawn in, good or bad.
In some instances I did find a few things not needed to be repeated as I felt like shouting 'OK I got it'
Emma, I am just not sure what to feel or think of her. Damaged is the word I would use. Of course she is damaged after what she has been through, but to grow with the rage she feels, I understand fully.
She is on her quest for a 'normal' life, but can she find it, and what is out there for her.
With a subject matter as this, I cannot say I loved the book, of course not, but I did like the way it was written, apart from the repeats, which I did find annoying.
If your stomach can take reading childhood sexually explicit rape/abuse, then this book is OK, but if not, because it has explicit repetitive abuse, just be warned.
I would like to thank AuthorBuzz Via Net Galley for the chance to read this for a review
If you like sad books that don’t have a happy ending/ or very many happy really at all, then this is the book for you! It’s gruesome and very cold hearted! I just wish there was more happy moments and not so gruesome!!
Dark, pretty gruesome and at times tough to read. But the story is well written. This is my 2nd read by this author so I knew what to expect. I like how the characters overlap between books.
Did not finish. Reads like nonfiction, not a novel with characters or a plot. The author doesn’t describe the characters at all and relies on shock value only. I’m all for dark books but found this boring and redundant.
DNF. Did not finish. Part of kindle UL, so free to me. I could not finish this book. It is unreadable. Having spent more than half of my 40+ year career working with abused, neglected, traumatized, and savagely parented (IF that word even fits here) children, I found this book totally unreadable. It isn't the depictions or descriptions of the physical trauma that drove my decision because when you have seen it in real life, there is a sense of knowledge aforehand about the subject. However, this "story" is simply not likely to have continued past the age of perhaps 9, because if public and private schools, churches, counselors, teachers, school bus drivers, and even neighbors have learned anything, it is that once might be a mistake, but repeatedly seeing these same types of bruises, fractures, burns, scars, in other words, physical testimonials of abuse or any other type of even suspected or supposed adult involvement with a minor child, it will NOT go unreported, uninvestigated, or dismissed by any faction. There are of course millions of children who suffer at the hands of horrendous adults, but let one child appear out of kilter for even a day and someone is going to say something. I think this tale has some issues with continuity and clarity. How is it possible for a child to have both arms dislocated and no one notices? Please. There really isn't a story in place here. Events continue on a daily basis, she supposedly attends school, no absences, how is this possible with 2 displaced shoulders? A live stove burn, that would have to be a full thickness (3rd degree) trauma-and no one sees it? Each page describes situations that begin, "The next day, when Emma came home from school"-yeah, no. With both shoulders dislocated, burns over a more than 25% body surface, a broken nose, two blackened eyes, a palm-sized chunk of hair/scalp missing? In one day? There just isn't a story. It's shock fiction. Unreadable. Thoroughly disgusting.
Now, to be fair, I have seen horrendous traumas perpetrated on children. They will break your heart, trying to treat/repair/restore some of these conditions, all while trying to protect the child, and determine causation. Education and training always, always, focuses on believing the child, "AS IF". That's "AS IF" they are truthful. "AS IS" this XYZ did in fact, happen. But NOT ONE CPS worker shows up, not ONE neighbor or neighbor's adult son (supposedly "big and mean" men drag this father into the middle of the night and teach him a lesson? Are all the teachers blind, deaf, and dumb? This is totally illogical, again I think it is shock fiction without very much substance to it. This lacks a narrative other than "abuse du jour". IF (a BIG IF) IF there were any truth-telling moments in this miserable story this child and her sister would have been yanked out of that home in a split second. Both parents would be arrested, and held without bond. SATC task force detectives, nurses, physicians, counselors, would be crawling up these parent's hindquarters, dancing tap shoes on their heads until the trial phase ended. The pages run into each other, the writing is mediocre, and to top it all off, the adult (or at least older) Emma falls back into that same kind of dumb-as-a-post thinking? Yes, cycles of abuse are quite often repetitive, but seriously? NO. I put this down after about 2 chapters. It wasn't going anywhere I felt like heading. I think we can read about stories that have some point, regardless of the violence or the atrocities in them. But in order for them to be believed, there has to be a lesson taught and learned, and consequences for horrific actions that feel just, they feel as if, though the "victims" are made to suffer, they are, at some point, allowed to grow and get past the nightmares. This was a strained point of view, in the loosest definition of the term. I cannot recommend this book.
This was better than the first one. Emma was stronger. The story was more gritty and terrifying but I liked seeing how Emma rose above things, though she was creepy as hell...the things she did. Still, in some ways she remained a victim and her sister (who she tried to protect) was all victim. I found it awful.
Writing wise this one is better, there was a little more showing than telling in contrast to the previous book that was all telling. Still this one was mostly telling.
I did see some pattern in the story line that resembled Believe Like a Child.
I really do think it wonderful that these books bring to attention some really tough subjects.
One more thing: two parents, one with striking green eyes and the other with blue do not a baby with brown eyes make. Never.
OMG if I went through everything that happened to Emma I would have shot myself. Since she was a little girl she withstood both physical and verbal abuse....this continued through her adult life. But Emma and her sister Grace take off in their teenage years and life did not get better. Emma took care of her sister even when life was unbearable. Great book, a page turner and a big, big, big surprise for the ending....
I received a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review. The original review can be found on Genuine Jenn
When I received the email for this book tour I was super excited as I have had Paige's first book on my to-be-read list on Goodreads for awhile and was just waiting for a time to slip it in between reviews. I knew this would be a very emotional read but I thought I was ready for it. Paige has a way of roping you into the story from the get go. This book was written in a third person point of view. It jumps around to different people and can be choppy but once you realize that it isn't hard to follow and you get used to Paige's writing. It really helps get to know all the characters in the book.
Be prepared for an emotional ride, this book will take you through a really hard topic that a lot of people don't go into depth with. You will be faced with anger over how someone can physically harm someone, or even how someone can stand by and watch it (the girls mom just walked away and turned a blind eye), you will be also in tears for the girls as they face the most horrific events that seem to follow them around during their life. There were times I was crying with the girls and other times I was shouting at the bad people, I was hoping and praying for them to be left alone and make it out alive. I just couldn't put this book down, through anger and tears I made it to the end and can't wait to read more from Paige.
If someone was to ask if this book affected my life or way of thinking, I would have to say yes, it really made me stop and think about the horrible creatures that walk among us. I found myself watching people while out with my children at a family water park the other day, wondering who these people really are. I remember my mom always saying "behind closed doors you really don't know what goes on" and it really is true.
A poignant story that will have you thinking about it long after the last page has been turned. This author has a way of writing that really gets you into the book and makes you feel as if you are right there with the characters. The story is a touching and powerful tale about abuse and its effects. How one girl deals with her life and her journey to a better one. The imagery was fantastic and gave life and richness to the story. Adding to the effect and bringing out the emotions of the story. At times I was brought to tears and overtime I grew very much attached to Emma. She was a very memorable character. Emma has held a harsh life. One that sadly many children face in this world and seeing her battle on in the face of such desolation made me respect and admire her. She was hardened by a life of misery, but was still able to keep going and that takes real strength. This story is not a pretty one, but it leaves a lasting impression. It has a lot of depth and is packed with emotion. You will not be able to put it down.
I read BELIEVE LIKE A CHILD. In fact, Paige sent me a paperback to review and it made the "shelf of honor" on my bookshelf. WHEN SMILES FADE had me cringing even more that BELIEVE LIKE A CHILD. Oh my goodness...oh my goodness. As in usual Paige writing style, the story will play out, in every detail, like a movie in your mind. Reality is these things REALLY are happening. I kept finding myself shaking my head, my heart breaking, thankful for the mom and dad I grew up with and the loving, kind and caring husband I have now. Paige really gets the characters to come alive, all of their fears and feelings. I waited what seemed like a long time (but really wasn't THAT long) for a new book from Paige and she did not disappoint. Well done Paige, well done.
I will say one thing about Paige Dearth is her writing feels very realistic, and you get swept into the story, the writing is exceptional, the story is hard to believe at times, but so very true at the same time. My god it takes a person a day or two just to get over reading her books. But I highly suggest you do.
This story is about Emma and her sister the abuse they suffer from their parents and how they handle it. Their life is not easy and sometime you have to takes things into her own hands.
I would recommend you read all of Paige Dearth's books but be aware they are very honest, and emotional, Paige Dearth does not hold back when she is telling you a story. I have given When Smiles Fade a 4 star rating and highly recommend!
I am not sure how I feel about this book. this was the second book by paige dearth I read. the first was believe like a child. I remember feeling conflicted after reading that book as well. I received this book through a goodreads giveaway. I did not know the author's history of abuse and can understand more of why she writes what she does. what I wished for in the first book and in this book was that the main character would rise above the abuse . I know that does not always happen, but some people who experience severe abuse do find hope and love. but adverse childhood experiences do affect the way a young brain developes and can have huge impacts on someone. my heart goes out to those who experience or have experienced this kind of abuse. I cannot imagine.
I think the author relied too heavily on the subject matter, and really lacked in the content in depth. It was so one dimensional. The entire book was "Thing happened, then other thing happened. Character was mad." Everything was repetitive and predictable, with most chapters ending with something along the lines of "she wouldn't believe what was about to happen". Like, is that supposed to be a cliffhanger? Is that supposed to entice me to keep reading? The whole thing felt like a bad buzzfeed article, interesting subject so you want to read more but you get nothing interesting out of it.
This novel supposedly shows the horrible reality of what could happen to a girl who was physically and sexually abused. However, the author really went overboard with the main character, Emma, having her kill several people. I kept thinking as I read the book that there would be some kind of point where Emma changed her lifestyle but in the end, Emma seemed as much a monster to me as the men who had abused her. I disliked her intensely for first putting her younger sister and then her niece in horrible living situations where they were both abused as well.
This book was great. It was so hard to read, though I couldn't put it down. I had my requisite bawling session while reading this book of Paige's, Check! I even had a question about the book that was answered personally by Paige in less then 24 hrs. I knew it would be sad and horrifying especially since my daughters name is Emma but it ended with a twist that surprised me and made me happier about the main character being named Emma. Another GREAT Book Paige! Well Done!!
I received a copy of this book in a Goodreads giveaway.
I've tried a few times, and I simply cannot stomach this author's books. They read like torture porn, and they are brutal beyond belief, and I absolutely do not see the need for it. If the focus was placed on telling a good story while insinuating the abuse, I might be more willing to stick with it. As it stands, I DNFed this book after a single chapter and likely won't be picking up anything by this author again in the future.
if you have not yet read this author, you need to! I have now read all of her books and this one has been my favorite. they are all great - the heroine in this book has the biggest cajones I have ever seen and I was rooting for her from beginning to end! So enjoyed this book - when Ms. Dearth comes out with her next one I will be in line to read it for sure!
Gripping and heartbreaking, this book will keep you turning pages.
Note: It's best to read Mean Little People by Paige Dearth before When Smiles Fade to know the background of some characters that appear in this book.
Emma spends her childhood in a violent household with her savage, abusive father, and her uncaring, detached mother. Her father offers constant emotional abuse, rapes her, beats and tortures her almost daily. Her mother does nothing to help, and blames the girls for angering their father. Emma does her best to not make her parents mad and protect her younger sister Gracie from their father, often using herself as a buffer and taking the beatings meant for Gracie.
After having to deal with her nightmare of a father and her mother's disgusting boyfriend for way too long, Emma takes Gracie and they run away, along with Emma's best friend Brianna. They end up in Kensington and have to learn how to live on the streets. This life is extremely hard on Emma and she goes through many horrific and traumatic experiences.
Emma is different than other girls though. She is strong, capable, and determined. She takes care of herself and those she loves, and she takes special care of those who have harmed her and others close to her. There are some events in this book that are difficult to read, there are also some you hope for that are not difficult at all.
Next I am going into Believe Like A Child to read Aless's story.
Suggested order of PD books: Mean Little People When Smiles Fade Believe Like A Child One Among Us Never Be Alone
OMG! This novel is SO disturbing and horrifying, tragically it could very well be a memoir! Which is exactly what is feels like while reading, I literally had heart palpitations as well as feeling every emotion possible...it was difficult to read...however it was written so extraordinarily well I felt compelled to continue!! AND it was SOOOO worth it!! The main character Emma is amazing, strong and brutally protective of those she loves...I am 'Team Emma' all the way...love her as well as Gracie and Izzy!! Thank you Paige Dearth for having the strength and courage to write about such a difficult subject and draw attention to it!
My heart truly goes out to anyone who has endured this kind of tragic childhood or any other type of abuse. I was fortunate enough to grow up in a wonderful and loving household...we didn't have a lot of money but we were loved!
A spectacular book that builds on "Believe like a child", demonstrating unequivocally that Paige Dearth has entered the world of publishing. It cleverly weaves characters and plot from her first book, affording readers to link the two and enrich the overall story, yet for those who read this book standalone are not left behind.
In some ways, it is beguiling as Martina Cole, yet different in so many ways that there can be no direct comparison. This book is richer and more developed than the first, and thoroughly deserves five stars. This is an author I am going to watch out for.