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336 pages, Kindle Edition
First published January 28, 2013
"It's impossible to love something you know's made out of wire and metal."Mind: blown. Preconceptions: dashed to pieces. I cannot say in all honesty that this has converted me to the genre, but my god, what a fabulous read. What a fantastic work of literature. This is going to be such a difficult review to write because my emotions are all over the place. Books rarely make me emotional. I'm not a crier. A friend promised me tears. Thus, I reached for this book. I wanted something that would make me cry.
"You talk about him like he's a computer."
"He is a computer," said Dr Condon. "That's what I'm trying to tell you."
"It's not flesh and blood," she said. "It's not normal."
"A person? No, it's just a machine made to look like a person...So they can steal jobs from us easier. It plain ain't right. That's what my preacher says." His face dropped down. He looked Cat straight on. Her entire body shook. "I mean, your dad made it, right? A human being? Way I see it, any robot that close to a person is an abomination."To many people, androids are wicked, evil, an abomination against God. Cat defends Finn through it all.
He was close to her. Cat felt light-headed, and she knew it had nothing to with her inability to understand math. She was on the precipice of something. It coiled inside her like a snake and made her fidgety and distracted.Years pass. A string of boyfriends have come and gone. Oscar. Michael. Richard.
Cat cried harder. She leaned her head against Finn's chest. Water lapped at their bodies. His hands were in her hair. They did not kiss; they did not speak.The Characters: There is not one single character who was not flawless in this book. I don't mean flawless as in likeable, because they are certainly not all likeable. They are sometimes despicable, they are oftentimes cruel, they inspire pity, hate. They are not flawless, but I loved them all, because they all feel so perfectly human. Humans are not perfect. Humans are flawed, destructible. You do not raise a human to a pedestal, because they will inevitably fall.
Everything had unraveled.
The world was utterly still, and she was aware of the movement of the inside of her body: the expansion of her lungs and the fluttery pumps of her heart, pushing blood out into her extremities. Her heart, broken a million times over.The thing is, Cat grows up. We see Cat through so much of her life that it feels like observing someone you know grow up. Cat matures. She learns. She realizes her selfishness. She cries for her own cruelty. She recognizes her mistakes. She accepts them.
Cat took a deep breath. She wiped her muddy tears away. "I'm sorry," she said. "I'm sorry I didn't realize."The Romance: Love is an integral part of this novel, and it should be. The love of a mother for her child. The love of a mad scientist, who is not so much a mad scientist as much as he is a bewildered father. The love of friends. Most vitally, the love of a woman who has to grow up before she realizes she is capable of it. The love of an android who could not, who should not be able to feel such a thing as emotions.
I'm selfish, she thought, and then she thought it over and over. I'm selfish. I'm selfish.
"Finn, can you fall in love?" she asked.Can androids fall in love? The answer is yes, yes, they can.
Finn froze. On the record, one song faded out and another began. Laughter from the kitchen.
"Oh, Finn," said Cat. "No. No… I meant." She stopped, bit her lower lip. "Please don't think–"
"Think what? It's a reasonable question." He paused. Cat's heart pounded. Her head ached, the start of a hangover. "No, I don't believe I can. Love is far too ill-defined a concept to work within my current parameters. It's too...abstract."
"Desire is simple," he said. "Desire is something even a machine can understand." There was a stillness in the air that mirrored the stillness of his body. "But when I desired you I began to love you. You were the first being I ever loved. I didn't know it, of course. I had no idea what it meant, no idea what I was feeling. Love was never something I was supposed to experience." He laughed against her skin. "Later, I was finally able to understand the complexities of love. Even if I didn't want to. At first."

"She felt like a seashell, pretty enough but empty and easily broken."
"Something inside of her - her calcified heart, her numbness - had cracked in two, and she was trembling and she thought, Here, this, this is what it feels like to feel something."
"Was that acceptable?" Finn asked.
"Yes," said Cat, the word drawn out of her as though on a tapestry needle. Something inside of her - her calcified heart, her numbness - had cracked in two, and she was trembling and she thought, Here, this, this is what it feels like to feel something.



“You’re boring,” she told him.
“I’m sorry,” he said. “I don’t wish to be.”
“I don’t mind that you’re a computer.” She ran up to him and wrapped her arms around his legs, leaning her head against his hip. He put his hand on her shoulder, and the weight of it seemed to sink straight through her.
“I’m glad,” he said.
She didn’t trust the grown-ups waiting in the house, the people who knew Finn for what he was the minute they laid eyes on him, the people who called him it.
“Yes,” he said. “A violation.” His eyes vibrated. “But how could you know that? You can’t be shut off.”
i
am
in
love.
