Sinkhole

by Leo X. Robertson

Sinkhole is a collection of stories,

Dead Cats on a father tries to work out if the family cat has been run over before his son comes home.

The London an ordinary woman gives in to her compulsion to vie for the attention of apathetic bus passengers, going to deeper and darker lengths each time.

a near-future story of rebellion in a city populated almost exclusively by gay men

The Badass London Ex-Bitches and the Case of the Creepy Revenge Porn three women band together to find out who put their naked photos online.

Genres: Short Stories

194 pages, Kindle Edition

First published September 24, 2014

About the author

"I have never in my life been exposed to a more fascinatingly bizarre story--and I've been exposed to some pretty damn fascinating and bizarre stories in my day! Buy this damn book! Now!" - Michael Alig, on my novella, Bonespin Slipspace (Psychedelic Horror Press, 2016)

One thing I know I can't write is a witty bio of myself- so if you want to know anything, just ask :)

In the meantime, here are some stories I got published that you might like:

Stabbing in a Lighter Darkness
The Hundred-Year Storm
The Audition Altar

Find me on Twitter: @Leoxwrite

Follow me for my author blog where I write about writing, reading and general observations- or you can find this content on my Tumblr
here.

I also recently started a podcast, Losing the Plot, which you can listen to here. And if you're a reader, writer, or fancy a chat about books, do get in touch with me at losingtheplotpodcast [at] gmail [dot] com!

Reviews

[Leo Robertson]

Hey! I just updated this review with the new FREE 2016 version of this book! But I think you guys were asleep when I posted it haha! So I'm bumping it and plz download/share/review etc. Youz r da air I breath.

Listen up you storylovin' SOBs: you can now download your free ebook (epub, mobi, PDF) of this officially finally totally revised 2016 version here!!

Some old stories gone, one new story included, all stories obsessively rewritten for your delectation :)

It's also available on Lulu if you feel like paying me for it (Amazon too, Kobo yes, etc.)- but your reviews are still much more valuable to me at this stage :) So please have a download, do a read, and see us a review if you feel like it!

Please spread the file and the word :)

[In 2014 while I was writing this, I asked my sister to make an embroidery for the cover. When I saw it, well... Now I'm sure I've done all in my power to produce a book that does it justice:)]

[Harry Whitewolf · Rating 4 out of 5]

“D’you know what I liked most about Sinkhole?” I asked a fictional version of Leo X Robertson who was lingering around in my mind. He was looking around for a bar, and poised to know what I had to say about his book of short stories.
“No,” said Leo.
“You’re a writer who thinks outside the box! That’s what I like!”
Leo then smacked me hard in the face for using such a trite term as ‘outside the box’.
“I’m sorry,” I said, wiping my bloody nose. “Would the term ‘blue sky thinking’ have been more appropriate?” - at which point Leo brutally beat me to within an inch of my life.
“I’m sorry,” said Leo. “I’m not a violent person at all, but you went over the line.”
“Nnn-duh-stood,” I tried to reply through my broken throat.

Two weeks in an intensive care unit gave me the time to reconsider how to approach the review, so I was very thankful for having been placed there. I had learnt my lesson. There would be no more references to boxes.

When I finally got out of hospital, I returned to my flat only to find that fictional Leo was waiting for me. He simply asked, “So how did writing the review go?”
I proceeded to tell him: “I had trouble writing about that one titled that black and white box… sorry, I mean square, and circle symbol thing. I mean how do people insert such symbols into text? It’s beyond me. Anyway, that one I can’t name- I really liked that. That was great fun.”
“Which others did you like?” he asked.
“Dead Cats on Motorways, as you would expect from such a title, was hilarious and expertly executed. Histopia felt like it should have been one of those books that was already a classic, but written in this day and age, it just worked best as it was; in its short story format. ‘Twas spot on.”
“Oh good. I’m glad you liked it,” said Leo.
“The London Bus was probably my favourite story, and #Awkward infuriated me: well done.”
“Great!” said Leo. “Any negative criticism?”
“Well, it didn’t feel quite as accomplished as your later books. I felt like some stories were too long whilst others were too short. Sometimes it felt like I was rummaging through a big folder of your thoughts for stories, rather than a finished product, but then I kinda liked that too.”
“And you promise me you didn’t use any terms like ‘outside the box’?”
“No. I promise. Look here…” and I showed Leo the end of the review I’d written.

It said: ‘If you like the likes of Chris Morris and Stewart Lee, you’ll most certainly like this book. It’s crass, clever, cutting, biting, poignant, original, dark and deliciously funny. Fall into a Sinkhole. You won’t regret it.’

“Hmm…” said Leo. “It sounds a bit advertising bullshitty to me.”
“Well it doesn’t matter. You’re not even the real Leo,” I said. “You’re just a figment of my imagination.”
“Oh yeah!” said Leo, and abruptly disappeared.

[Jason · Rating 5 out of 5]

If this book doesn't make you wanna post pictures of your genitals on the Internet then I don't what will.

A wonderful collection of stories, I've never read anything quite like this, each style of story is unique. The first story makes you comfortable, standard short story stuff, gets a bit dark but very entertaining, second story is some kind of thesis about why a guy has been dumped by his girlfriend, there are graphs and stuff like that. For a while I was wondering if I was reading the right book. In the end that story was my favourite.

There is a story based on texting (which I skipped I tried reading it but I'm too old to be able to translate) and a couple of dystopian futures, one of which I would be confident to survive.

This is a great book to introduce you to Leo's world where everything is a little bit mad and much much fluffier.

PS: the cover of this book is the bestest ever.

Blog review is here> https://felcherman.wordpress.com/2018...

[Richard · Rating 4 out of 5]

Copy kindly provided by GR author and friend, Leo X. Robertson.

2018

I have now finished the first edition of Sinkhole (2014). My overall reaction is one of amusement. The author obviously had fun experimenting with genre, format, narrative voice, etc. And it shows. The quality of the individual pieces varies. Leo has admitted as much himself and I don't mean to embarrass him by saying so. He has taken pains to improve on his work in a second revised edition (2016).

2020

In the second edition of Sinkhole (2016), Leo has eliminated 4 of the stories from the earlier edition. Two of these were "stream of consciousness" pieces written as if they had been lifted straight from the prose or emails of semi-literate narrators and, while they they were original in format and execution, they were a little difficult to decipher. However, the other two stories were full of sharp social satire, and it would not have been a bad thing had they made it through to the 2016 collection.

But in the stories that remain, it is clear that while Leo has kept a lot of the original material, he has gone over the text carefully. He has sliced out words, sentences and sometimes large sections that were not needed, while adding words, phrases or sections to amplify the impact of the text. Sometimes the effect of this is to make the story seem a bit less like the description of a scientific experiment, as in "Xing Hu" where the diagrams and some of the discussion have been deleted and the case studies have been expanded so that they are more like narrative. And in "Hot Coffee," the switch in tense and the elimination of the chatty sidebars make the story seem less as if it popped out of a textbook. But sometimes it is also to intensify the dramatic effect. Thus in "Even Vermin Have Stories," the narrator's girlfriend, who remains anonymous with one line of dialogue in the 2014 edition, is fleshed out in the new edition, and is given a name and a more significant role to play.

However, I think Leo did the most editing and had the most fun with "The Badass London Ex-Bitches and the Creepy Revenge Porn Guy." In this story, he takes some shallow self-absorbed individuals and has them perform superhuman and heroic feats of social derring-do without substantially improving their characters in the least. In fact, Holly and especially Sara/Sasha (toting her massive Chanel handbag and shadowed by crowds of gay admirers) are so enjoyable that Leo has them return for one last hurrah in a final tale, "The Badass London Ex-Bitches and the Case of the Trigger Happy Tumblrinas."

[Rupert Dreyfus · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was my first Robertson outing and it was an enjoyable experience. One thing which has struck me about this collection of short stories is just how diverse it is. Not only are some stories in the first-person and third-person, but there are also experimental stories which don't give a shit about which tense they're in and just tell a story in unique and creative ways. The subject matter is also diverse and ranges from rather moving stories about sexuality to satirical stories about modern internet culture and idiocy.

I could see echoes of Chris Morris and Charlie Brooker at times. It worked because it was genuinely funny but also came from a good place. If you want to feel a bit better about being in a world populated by idiots then read Millennials and the Revenge Porn Guy stories; both absolutely hilarious. And then there's Histopia which I found to be really moving. There was once a really shit film made called White Man's Burden starring John Travolta. It reverses the roles of blacks and whites in America as to show how the world would be if we lived in a black-centric world; the opposite of what we have today. Anyway, it's a great premise for obvious reason but it was just done really shittily and so the opportunity to make a point about racism and how our understanding can change if we shift the perspective was lost. However, Robertson attempts a similar shift of perspective with Histopia only it's a role reversal of heterosexuals and homosexuals. It's done in a way that was funny but ultimately moved me quite a bit and I ain't one of them bloody puffs or nuffink...

I hate having to star rate books because I don't recognise Goodreads' star rating system. But I recently rated a book five stars for being both fantastic and experimental, and I have to be consistent with this. Sinkhole was well written, funny, experimental and above all quite moving. I look forward to my next Robertson outing.

[Arthur Graham · Rating 4 out of 5]

At turns hilarious, horrifying, and heartfelt, and sometimes all at once, Sinkhole is a collection of stories wide-ranging in subject matter and tone, but all of them are thematically connected by the metaphor of the hole, those we systematically dig ourselves into and those that seemingly open up from out of nowhere to swallow us down. From the banal defeats of everyday existence to ones more catastrophic in manner, the idea seems to be that we're always constantly sinking in some way, and our only flotation devices are humor and acceptance.

Robertson writes with a strange sort of scathing empathy, skewering everything under the sun with his dry, gentle wit. He really seems to know people and what makes them tick, or at least he's good at exploring their asinine problems, and thus he is able to write highly believably characters even at their most absurd. If you've had any life experience whatsoever, you will recognize yourself and the people you know in this book. You will sink to the floor with them in crazed, sardonic laughter and you will sink right down to Hell with them as well, and perhaps you will find some way to pull yourself back up again, because the next sinkhole is coming just right around the corner.

Highly recommended.

[Riya · Rating 5 out of 5]

Experimental fiction at it's best!

Leo X. Robertson has range, and in Sinkhole he brings it. Each story has a unique voice, a voice all its own. For example, there is the scientific method of Xing Hu, the interactive screen play exploring the enormous consequences of seemingly minor actions in human interaction that is the collections namesake, and the text vernacular that is so true to form in #Awkward that it was impossible to read (Oh the idiocy! And that is Robertson's I think).
Two stories stuck out in this collection as my absolute favorite. Histopia is hilarious and it makes an imperative point. In it, Robertson uses the absurdity of a heterophobic society to demonstrate just how ridiculous and childish and pathetic homophobia is. Then there's novella that makes up the last third of the collection: The Badass London Ex-Bitches and the Case of the Creepy Revenge Porn Guy. In this story Robertson gives life to a topic that is largely ignored when its victims are not the brunt of jokes. He also gives life to three very badass characters. My only complaint is that The Badass London Ex-Bitches and the Case of the Creepy Revenge Porn Guy should be a full length novel.

[Rebecca Gransden · Rating 4 out of 5]

Sinkhole is a playful collection of stories and short pieces variously concerned with interconnectivity, identity and oversaturation, among many other things. We all know the benefits of the technology tools, the globalisation tools, and the sensation tools. This is a given. Just as we know the pitfalls also. Here they have been laid bare and prodded and poked until a touch invigorated and bruised and made to spill their inherent absurdities. There are plenty of laughs here of the merry jester sort: getting away with murder because you have just sprung another AHA! moment. Dammit. The writing has a scatalogical freshness here and there, and I liked the attention given to classification and how our subjective thoughts can be shifted and our perspectives battered until relieved into confusion.
I felt a couple of the stories could have been extended namely 'Xing Hu' and 'Dead Cats on Motorways'. The latter took on the guise of an interlude on which the collection inadvertently pivots. Like a vinyl LP prompt Please Turn Over to Side B where we'll really get going with the Cuban Contemporary Jazz Fusion influenced stuff. "Histopia" is just a riot,'Hot Coffee' is a great take on that most vital of spaces: the hyper modern office, with its potential for the stuff of interpersonal nightmares, and the story which finishes the collection is at once scary, bright, frustrating and compassionate. There are some great cartoonish images of joyful feigned innocence. It is as if Warner Bros has looked up Socrates and said 'Hey, can we use your method, but, you know, with symbols?'.
Hangs well as a collection, as there is a real interplay of ideas which benefits from taking these stories as a whole. Enjoyable, stark, challenging but never alienating, probing with feeling and ready to be read.



I would like to thank the author for providing me with a copy and, as ever, all opinions are my own.

[Janie · Rating 4 out of 5]

Leo X. Robertson's collection of short stories, aptly titled Sinkhole, demonstrates how empty people's lives can be underneath their surface layers. Consider the narrator of the story The London Bus, who plays the role of victim in order to get emotional reactions from other bus passengers. How far will she go to get satisfaction?


The vapid Badass London Ex-Bitches are on the warpath, seeking retribution for finding their nude photos online. They become instant media heroines. All bow.


The narrator of I've Been to Paradise has been everywhere and has done everything. Here is his confession to his ultimate crime. After all, he wanted to feel everything, and something was missing...


Xing Hu breaks down his life and romantic connections in an organized analysis to figure out how to succeed in a lasting relationship. Acknowledgements, introduction, hypothesis, discussion, case studies and... conclusion? Conclusion, anyone?


Other stories examine the way people pass through each others' lives, either by accident or by plan, where no-one comes out looking good. This book is a clever satire of our society, and the search for meaning where there might not be any. There is also a really cool story about coffee, addiction and how our offices may operate someday. Take cover.

[Sam · Rating 5 out of 5]

Robertson's sophomore effort is a collection of short-stories, which are, as he says, full of "postmodern silliness". This is certainly true. His first novel, Findesferas, dealt with a number of topics, including Revolution in Latin America, space travel and a dystopian oil crisis. In his new collection, the scope is somewhat smaller, but also more nuanced: There are confessionals, pseudo-scientific examinations of breakups, a choose-your-own-adventure story, hypochondric compulsive liars, gay-only cities, biting satires about millenials and shirtarians, a lengthy work on the use and misuse of caffeine, Scottish vernacular, and the Badass London Ex-Bitches. This is a scope that can please nearly everyone.

The Good:

As is normal with every short-story collection, I enjoyed some of them more than others. The London Bus just works particularly well. Robertson vividly describes a woman who goes to great length to get sympathy from the people on a bus, and finally at her workplace. As she yearns for more, her methods become more insensitive:

‘I’m going to visit my sister’, I said.
‘I don’t give a-’
‘She has cancer. My sister has cancer.’
His mouth contorted into a grimace. I knew I hadn’t gotten through to him! I knew that there was no way to penetrate the wall of people like this young arrogant wanker. It shut him up though.

Her downward spiral is both humorous and appalling. Histopia is a take on a dystopian world, where heterosexuality is outlawed in the protagonist's city. In a way, it is a repetition of a well-known trope, but Robertson's dialogues are hilarious enough to make up for that:

‘But Patricia, we can’t do this’, I said. I let go of her and squared my shoulders, standing straight. ‘The book of Zak explicitly discriminates against heterosexuality. We can never be together.’
She scoffed. ‘Chad, you can’t believe all the messages you hear every day. Those guys are just a cabal of dicktators.’

How clichéd can it get? - And I mean that in the best way possible! The Badass London Ex-Bitches and the Case of the Creepy Revenge Porn Guy tells exactly what is said in its title. The story is by far the longest in the collection, and it's good to see Robertson return to some longer pieces. It effortlessly mixes several genres and is a terrific satire on the dangers of social media and nude pictures. The Ex-Bitches are an excellent bunch of gals, drinking, kicking and tweeting their way to the climactic finale of this speedy romp. Sinkhole, the title story, sucks the reader down into its tragedy: The narrative is written as a mock-up choose-your-own-adventure, with every choice eventually being futile and pulling the reader deeper and deeper. There is no way to escape.

In the end, most stories are good, or even great. They remind me a lot of the stories of George Saunders, with the obvious difference in setting and vernacular; one can feel Robertson's Scottish roots in his stories.

The Weird:

Both #Awkward and 100% Pure Pharmacy are highly experimental pieces: The first is written in texting speech ("So deres dis big prty @ d weeknd dts @ gay matts house cz hs prnts wnt n dere hunymn #Romance #Old n m ded xcitd cz deres liek soo mch drma dts gna hpn dt im gna xpln bt frst i strtd lkn @ dreses n pintrst n deres dis lvly liek 80s srta #Vintage #Dress dt lks liek teh 1 dat whitney hoostun wore n dat vdeo fr i wuna dnce w/ sumbdy #Inspiration so mee n lucy n maddy n dalia wnt 2 da mall 2 see if we cd fnd it n evry1 in skl cllz dem d bitchz bt i thnk dats well unfr cz u nd 2 srnd urself w/ ppl hoo belve in ur drmz n dey wntd 2 hlp me fnd a niec dres." is just the first line..) and the latter is composed of 55 spam e-mails. Both of them are more or less unreadable. It's not that you cannot read them, but in this case style is bigger than content, and I felt nauseous trying to wrap my head around the somewhat thin remainders of plot.

The Bad:

This is less of a negative point, but more of an addition to what I wrote before. While I appreciate some cliched dialogue, some people might not - and this is where Robertson's stories ultimately are problematic. His world-building predominantly relies on contemporary society, with a few things borrowed from the drug novels of Irvine Welsh - this is done immaculately. Some dialogues on the other hand feel forced - "why would characters say that?" I asked myself on several occasions. I think that he needs to work on that. Apart from that, he is on a great way: His prose is original and enjoyable; his expertise in the subjects he writes about is definitely there; his work is experimental enough to not be labeled "just another self-published author". In short, his work is recognisable. And that is awfully important in today's literary world.

[Jim · Rating 5 out of 5]

Loved the mess, the overlapping narratives, the fragments; reminded an old-timer like me of Ballard & Lem playing around, the London stuff has the real flavour of the smoke (and makes me hate that shithole even more!).

Faves: The twist in I've Been to Paradise when the numptyheaded sensation snob crashes and burns, Millenials, which reads like the ultimate tale from the interview from thedailywtf.com, #Awkward, that proves no you can't write a story in textspeak, Even Vermin Have Stories, sweet in a way, 100% Pure Pharmacy (A narrative constructed from the garbled text of 55 spam e-mail) which is just dementing, and The Badass London Ex-Bitches . . . , the centrepiece, which just makes me so glad I never have to go to London again all the rest of my days.

[Xian Xian · Rating 4 out of 5]

What is the Rude Vile Pigs? It must be an amazing grindcore band. just joking.

I received this from the author for an honest review

Leo is back with a short story collection. If you don't remember Leo Robertson, then maybe this will remind you: Findesferas. But here's the problem, I don't read short story collections very often. There is no specific way of doing it, but I always feel a sort of dissatisfaction with my reviews for them, they often feel, I guess I can say, unfinished or rushed. I will try my best.

Sinkhole is a short story collection that contains some stories that he has posted on Goodreads and a few new ones. Each story is entirely unique from the other, with odd situations and parallel universes that seem to be disturbingly absurd. Sinkhole is a brilliant marriage of science fiction and absurdism, almost surrealist, humor that will make you smile and tilt your head to the side, a giant question mark over your head, because it was basically a WTF.

That was what I loved about this, it was different and original, quirky, but not trying too hard. Most of this was definitely satire and reading these stories, you realize with a chuckle to yourself that we are all doomed. From technology addiction to coffee addiction, cyber misogyny to aliens and people who lack empathy or crave it through lying, people who are unable to form long lasting relationships.

This collection of short stories chronicles the failures of humanity in ways that are just totally absurd and would will probably make the weirdest movies. Sinkhole is a strange relationship with literary writers and bizarre science fiction. I haven't read much science fiction so bear with me, um, Jonathon Lethem and Haruki Murakami are drinking tea together and then maybe J.G. Ballard, whom I haven't read any books by, but I know he writes freaky sci-fi, joins them and drinks some beer or something. Then they take out a notebook and just start writing random stuff and make a novel together. Basically what I am saying is that all of this is a weird combination of those guys, again like I said above, the future, sci-fi, and apocalyptic and the literary makeout with each other in this book. Mathematical graphs, hypothesis, and science roll around in there too.

Although, I hate to say it, there were times where things did get a bit too much for me. Where the words had been morphed into a sort of oddity, just for the sake of experimentalism. There is nothing wrong with that all, but there two stories that were written in a way that was practically unreadable. I understood the point, but it was an utter stab to my brain. (#Awkward and 100% Pure Pharmacy) I give him a handshake for that. I didn't even know it was possible. Mad scientist!

So, I feel like when I review short stories, I should pick or mention my favorites, so here you go:

Xinghu
The London Bus
Millennials
Histopia
I've Been to Paradise
Sinkhole
▫● (That's a bit hard to see, it's called Square Circle, literally, there's a square and a circle)
Dead Cats on Motorways
Mr. Macleod (I keep reading this name as Star Fox's last name)
Even Vermin Have Stories

Rating: 3.5/5 or 4/5

I'm honestly conflicted on the score, but this was definitely a wonderful, terrifying ride.

[Elena · Rating 4 out of 5]

Disclaimer: I rarely read short story collections. It’s a format to which I’m still getting used, but I think I’d find it easier if they were all more like this one. I usually find a couple of stories I enjoy and the rest leave me somewhat indifferent, but that was definitely not the case this time as every one of them is memorable, to say the least.

You can find a little bit of everything here. I feel like Hystopia should be one of those pieces that go viral and everyone shares on facebook with a click-baity title but then you read it and it’s actually good content (this is a compliment, I swear). #Awkward was easier to read than I thought, but it did bring back some slightly unpleasant memories. Hot Coffee!! I wrote down a couple of notes for each story while reading, and for this one I only have “amazing”.

My favourites: The London Bus, Millennials (hilarious! “Their opinions… they’re so outrageous, yet so ill-informed”, ouch), Even Vermin Have Stories, Dead Cats On Motorways and, of course, The Badass London Ex-Bitches, which I read in one go as I couldn’t put it down. (I want to party with these girls. Maybe just the one time though. Or at least let them sleep in my bed while I deal with the creeps that harass them.)

A really enjoyable read. I look forward to reading more of Leo’s writing, especially in longer format!

(I received a free copy of this book from the author, but next time I’m planning on paying the writer :))

[Anthony Kizer · Rating 3 out of 5]

I liked all the different of stories that were present in the book. There was some really funny incidents that popped up that I thoroughly enjoyed. For some reason unbeknownst to me I just had a hard time getting into the book. All of the stories were well written with crazy and funny characters with nice settings therein. Wish I could give it a 3.5.

I received this book from the author for a review.

[Richard · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5

Somewhere between Jeff Noon and Raymond Carver, which is really not a bad place to be. I still loathe self publishing but this is the far better of the typically terrible crop

[Connie · Rating 2 out of 5]

FTC disclosure: I received this book free from Goodreads hoping I would review it.