This book started off as a seemingly "typical" political assassination novel; however, the plot soon had more twists and turns than San Francisco's Lombard Street. (I lost track of how many times Troy and Amber were almost killed.) Despite some over-the-top prose and a DESPERATE need for editing, I enjoyed the story and will continue with the series.
Here are the editing oversights I found in the Kindle version of First Lady Down:
Location 170, It struck the soldier in chest. / It struck the soldier in THE chest. ; 333, stuff from Building 102". / stuff from Building 102." (period goes inside quotes) ; 400, before it tore lose. / before it tore LOOSE. ; 460, a bottle of Jack Daniels within easy reach / a bottle of Jack DANIEL'S within easy reach (brand name includes apostrophe) ; 527, several white house aides / several White House aides (capitalization required) ;
Location 537, if you say anything but "no comment", you won't have to worry / if you say anything but 'no comment', you won't have to worry (needs single quotes, not double) ; 700, Now, she's Crawford's gofer. / Now, she's Crawford's gofer." (needs end quote) ; 713, Alright everybody. / All right, everybody. ; 734, Clearly, disturbed, the President ducked down / Clearly disturbed, the President ducked down (omit first comma) ;
Location 910, You never heard of Overseas Arms?" It's Max Zenger's company. / You never heard of Overseas Arms? It's Max Zenger's company. (omit quote after "Arms") ; 913, Not until we get something / "Not until we get something (add opening quote) ; 947, The trunk lid sprung open. /The trunk lid SPRANG open. (simple past tense of "spring") ; 1108, going to one of Sadam's groups / going to one of SADDAM'S groups (proper spelling) ;
Location 1135, They snuck over to the freight door. / They SNEAKED over to the freight door. (regular past tense of "sneak") ; 1157, He aimed it at the Iraqi's position. / He aimed it at the IRAQIS' position. (unless there's only one Iraqi) ; 1160, it crashed into the Iraqis fortress / it crashed into the IRAQIS' fortress (the fortress of the Iraqis) ; 1200, but--uh Adair works for Steve Starr. / but--uh-- Adair works for Steve Starr. (add double dash before Adair) ;
Location 1204, Harassing the President is one thing, shooting at him / "Harassing the President is one thing, shooting at him (ibid. loc 700) ; 1213, We can always use of man of your abilities / We can always use A man of your abilities ; 1309, She was so high; she didn't feel / She was so high, she didn't feel (replace semicolon with comma) ; 1309, slamming his pelvis against her's / slamming his pelvis against HERS ;
Location 1323, With lightening quickness / With LIGHTNING quickness ; 1373, Union City, Pennsylvania slept under a blanket / Union City, Pennsylvania, slept under a blanket (add comma after Pennsylvania) ; 1451, stepping on your dick." Troy said. / stepping on your dick," Troy said. (replace period with comma) ; 1487, most of Sadam's terrorist groups / most of SADDAM'S terrorist groups (ibid. loc 1108) ;
Location 1526, which are still decorated / which WERE still decorated ; 1535, The Washington, D.C. Metropolitan Correction Facility / The Washington, D.C., Metropolitan CORRECTIONAL Facility (add comma after D.C.; add -AL to Correction) ; 1585, God help them if they don't. / God help them if they DIDN'T. ; 1744, You career is hanging by a thread / YOUR career is hanging by a thread ;
Location 1751, under the hotel marquis / under the hotel MARQUEE (marquis = European nobleman ; marquee = canopy over hotel entrance) ; 1805, Why, he was ripping you? / Why? He was ripping you. (Why, question, is followed by a statement. ; 1830, He is about halfway to his car / He WAS about halfway to his car ; 1896, the Metropolitan Correction Facility / the Metropolitan CORRECTIONAL Facility (ibid. loc 1535-b) ;
Location 1936, Amber parked the green wienie on a side street / Amber parked the Green Wienie on a side street ; 1995, "Me either. / "Me either." (ibid. loc 700) ; 2076, stopped by the Metropolitan Correction Facility / stopped by the Metropolitan CORRECTIONAL Facility (ibid. loc 1535-b) ; 2120, "How am I going to explain this to Franklin," / "How am I going to explain this to Franklin?" (phrased as a question) ;
Location 2133, I'm alright. / I'm all right. ; 2167, returned to the Metropolitan Correction Facility / returned to the Metropolitan CORRECTIONAL Facility (ibid. loc 1535-b) ; 2170, was Corporal Wicks attorney / was Corporal WICKS'S attorney ; 2209, Four of them are long / Four of them WERE long ; 2212, Corporal Wicks move over to the big boxes / Corporal Wicks MOVED over to the big boxes ;
Location 2216, "FBI! Amber hollered. / "FBI!" Amber hollered. (ibid. loc 700) ; 2263, Amber doesn't seem surprised." / Amber doesn't seem surprised. (remove end quote) ; 2276, drop the murder charge, come on / drop the murder charge. Come on ; 2305, "He is gutless," Fahad added, "he talks big / "He is gutless." Fahad added, "He talks big ; 2320, "Maybe I should start calling you "quick draw". / "Maybe I should start calling you 'quick draw'." ;
Location 2381, Troy snuck a peek / Troy SNEAKED a peek ; 2445, " "Maybe if you drive / "Maybe if you drive (remove extra quote) ; 2489, a couple of inched under his throat / a couple of INCHES under his throat ; 2592, twist the facts enough; you can make anything / twist the facts enough, you can make anything (ibid. loc 1309) ; 2592, some lunatic, stirring things up / some lunatic stirring things up (remove comma) ;
Location 2655, Steve Starr's Initial Appearance / Steve Starr's initial appearance ; 2727, to get a supervisors desk / to get a supervisor's desk ; 2804, he shit a twinky / he shit a Twinkie ; 2917, than maybe we should go / THEN maybe we should go ; 2933, Frederick, Maryland sweltered in the heat / Frederick, Maryland, sweltered in the heat (add comma after Maryland) ; 2982, Her eyes shown with greed / Her eyes SHONE with greed ;
Location 3013, the Metropolitan Correction Facility / the Metropolitan CORRECTIONAL Facility (ibid. loc 1535-b) ; 3052, He was a Czeck. / He was a CZECH. ; 3083, What about the Task Force. / What about the Task Force? (ibid. loc 2120) ; 3176, Why did you talk to Adair. / Why did you talk to Adair? (ibid. loc 2120) ; 3188, Here, here. / Hear, hear. ; 3263, "How exactly are we jeopardizing the investigation." / "How exactly are we jeopardizing the investigation?" (ibid. loc 2120) ;
Location 3263, afraid of, Larry that we're right / afraid of, Larry, that we're right (add comma) ; 3279, Holding back her laughter Amber went back / Holding back her laughter. Amber went back (ibid. loc 3263) ; 3408, enough of your time, mam / enough of your time, MA'AM ; 3448, Alice and her got along / SHE AND ALICE got along ; 3501, An assortment of kids toys were scattered / An assortment of KIDS' toys were scattered ;
Location 3505, of your bNobleer-in-law, Ted Tomlinson / of your BROTHER-in-law, Ted Tomlinson ; 3520, And why did Teddy disappear on the same day both of them were killed? / And why did Teddy disappear on the same day both of them were killed?" (ibid. loc 700) ; 3564, Amber stayed a discrete distance behind the truck / Amber stayed a DISCREET distance behind the truck ;
Location 3580, Hart and Fanzo can't pursue Pew / Hart and Fanzo COULDN'T pursue Pew ; 3609, then dropped it to the deck." / then dropped it to the deck. (omit end quote) ; 3614, "Fire! Help! She cried. / "Fire! Help!" she cried. (ibid. loc 700) ; 3614, Troy snuck up behind Tomlinson / Troy SNEAKED up behind Tomlinson (ibid. loc 1135) ; 3622, "Wanna bet." / "Wanna bet?" (ibid. loc 2120) ;
Location 3701, Amber look at this. / Amber, look at this. ; 3709, why would you take a parachute on a trip unless you intended to use it. / why would you take a parachute on a trip unless you intended to use it? (ibid. loc 2120) ; 3721, In a vice, my man. / In a VISE, my man. ; 3751, towering mountain peaks plunged majestically / towering mountain peaks SOARED majestically ("plunged" usually indicates a downward direction) ;
Location 3754, "Isn't this great?" he asked. / "Isn't this great?" SHE asked. (The antecedent, in the previous sentence, is Amber.) ; 3863, But why go to all the trouble of faking your death, if you're going to live in Brazil for the rest of your life. / But why go to all the trouble of faking your death, if you're going to live in Brazil for the rest of your life? (ibid. loc 2120) ; 3884, he was fifty pounds lighter. / he was fifty pounds lighter. (ibid. loc 700) ;
Location 3906, "HHmmppff." Was Elmo's only comment / "Hmmppff," was Elmo's only comment ; 4027, "Okay! she bellowed / "Okay!" she bellowed (ibid. loc 700) ; 4106, "How you doin'? / "How you doin'?" (ibid. loc 700) ; 4147, with a piece of bailing wire / with a piece of BALING wire ("baling wire" is used to BALE hay) ; 4161, "Come on, kid, let's vamoose. / "Come on, kid, let's vamoose." (ibid. loc 700) ;
Location 4164, as they warily zig-zaged across the ranch / as they warily zig-ZAGGED across the ranch ; 4259, Keefer snuck around the ranch house / Keefer SNEAKED around the ranch house (ibid. loc 1135) ; 4268, Bull repositioned his 30:06 rifle / Bull repositioned his .30-06 rifle (correct designation) ; 4282, He patted the 30:06. / He patted the .30-06. (ibid. loc 4268) ; 4282, "Where's the closest phone? / "Where's the closest phone?" (ibid. loc 700) ;
Location 4286, "Do you have any water you can spare," / "Do you have any water you can spare?" (ibid. loc 2120) ; 4297, a long piece of bailing wire / a long piece of BALING wire (ibid. loc 4147) ; 4300, God it feels good / God, it feels good ; 4327, Are you going to arrest me, / Are you going to arrest me? (ibid. loc 2120) ; 4374, but what could he do. / but what could he do? (ibid. loc 2120) ;
Location 4387, What if he really was after the President. / What if he really was after the President? (ibid. loc 2120) ; 4422, One was a stocky, fireplug of a man / One was a stocky fireplug of a man (omit unnecessary comma) ; 4437, He didn't look up, as Troy and Amber took seats / He didn't look up as Troy and Amber took seats (ibid. loc 4422) ; 4440, Why would he fly / "Why would he fly (needs opening quote) ;
Location 4540, Troy quipped, / Troy quipped. (replace period with comma) ; 4565, can you hear me. / can you hear me? (ibid. loc 2120) ; 4591, I'll call the guys "Red", "Skinny" and "Kato" / I'll call the guys Red, Skinny and Kato (quotes not needed) ; 4595, Picking up the two duffle bags / Picking up the two DUFFEL bags (DUFFEL is used elsewhere) ; 4597, She tossed her duffle bag / She tossed her DUFFEL bag (ibid. loc 4595) ;
Location 4613, visible if White looked / visible if RED looked ; 4634, Fire proof file cabinets / Fireproof file cabinets (single word) ; 4683, Amber studied office / Amber studied THE office ; 4826, Burgess griped the pistol / Burgess GRIPPED the pistol (proper spelling) ; 4834, before Burgess' could shoot / before Burgess could shoot (remove apostrophe) ; 4853, Why, I've got everything I want? / Why? I've got everything I want. (WHY, question, is followed by statement) ;
Location 4904, Amber road shotgun / Amber RODE shotgun ; 4911, taken to Rollings Air Force Base / taken to ROLLINS Air Force Base ; 4918, the enormity of what they had done / the MAGNITUDE of what they had done ; 4946, Being a good cop / "Being a good cop (ibid. loc 4440) ; 5052, he argued, "it won't prove anything." / he argued. "It won't prove anything." ; 5073, each day, then to burn / each day, THAN to burn ; 5081, more for convenience sake / more for convenience's sake .