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Things I Wish I'd Known: Women tell the truth about motherhood
Look at the front cover of any parenting book and what do you see? Glowing mothers-to-be, or pristine, beautifully-behaved children. But the reality is, your pregnancy might be a sweaty, moody rollercoaster, and your children will almost certainly spend the first few years of their lives covered in food, tears and worse. And the experience is no less magical for it. In this no-holds-barred collection of essays, prominent women authors, journalists and TV personalities explore the truth about becoming mothers. Covering topics from labour to the breastapo, twins to IVF, weaning to post-birth sex, and with writers including Cathy Kelly, Adele Parks, Kathy Lette and Lucy Porter (and many more) Things I Wish I'd Known is a reassuring, moving and often hilarious collection that will speak to mothers - and mothers-to-be - everywhere.
240 pages, Paperback
First published March 5, 2015
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294 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 35 reviews
April 4, 2018
Humorous, honest and reassuring. Not for fans of Gina Ford, she gets quite the slagging
February 12, 2025
Real, funny and honest. Will read again!
April 17, 2017
My husband's work colleague gave me this when our baby was about one and I took great comfort reading each short article on the days I felt like a shit mother.
I don't read parenting books but this was more a manifesto of solidarity from smart, educated, sassy women.
I enjoyed each piece at the time and have forgotten them all instantly. A great read when you feel you're all alone doing the worst possible job of raising your beautiful child.
I don't read parenting books but this was more a manifesto of solidarity from smart, educated, sassy women.
I enjoyed each piece at the time and have forgotten them all instantly. A great read when you feel you're all alone doing the worst possible job of raising your beautiful child.
December 16, 2018
Lovvvvved this. Don’t think I would have appreciated it when I was expecting - even though that’s when it’s aimed at - and I do think parenting in our first year has mostly been about letting things happen, but now I can fully understand where this collection of essays are coming from.
January 3, 2021
Humouring and easy to read
Read
August 12, 2022Would be a good gift for a pregnant friend - funny and sweet. General gist - it’s all worth it, don’t lose yourself, don’t compare yourself to other mothers/parenting books.
April 12, 2018
Things I Wish I'd Known was recommended to me by a friend who used to work in Waterstones, because she said that so many pregnant customers said it was a necessary read before giving birth. I thought I might as well give it a go: it's a collection of non-fiction essays - always a fast read - and I was sure that something one of the mothers said would resonate with my experience of pregnancy.
I actually ended up relating the most to the first essay in the collection, written by Adele Parks. In it, she discusses her fears that her individuality would be dismissed after the arrival of her child and that she would just be referred to as "----'s mother", a worry which I'd discussed with a few of my friends towards the middle of my third trimester.
"I'd had a vision that it would be just me, my husband and our baby. Naive, I know. I felt extremely connected with my baby and I adored him, but I was not always comfortable with the new people who entered my life. I sometimes found them to be a distraction from the real business of mothering."
- Adele Parks
This was another fear which I shared with Parks.
When we learnt that the midwife and the health visitor would be appearing at the house regularly throughout the first couple of weeks of the baby's life, I was filled with trepidation. I knew that it happened to all mothers and we weren't being picked on, but I'm a very anxious person and I hate the tension that comes with knowing someone will be coming to your home but not having a definite time for their arrival.
We were told it could be any time between 9am and 4pm, and I was filled with worry: what if we'd just managed to get her to sleep, and the midwife turned up and started poking and prodding at her? The one piece of advice that we kept hearing was to never wake a sleeping baby!
However, reading that I wasn't the only mother who shared these worries helped put me at ease. I still wasn't looking forward to their visits, but at least I no longer felt terrified of them... And when they did arrive, they were all so lovely. It was actually nice to have some contact with the outside world, because we were living in our own little bubble for the first few days.
Another valuable piece of advice came from Emma Freud:
"Don't forgot to read a couple of chapters on what to do with the baby once it's born. It's very easy to use all your energy learning about the birth (which lasts about one day) and forget to learn about looking after the thing that gets born (which lasts about 81 years)."
After the antenatal classes I felt pretty prepared for the birth, so I was beginning to think ahead to what we would do when she arrived... But I hadn't done any research regarding it, which was a little short-sighted. Luckily, a couple of days before reading this essay I'd picked up a copy of Baby Milestones (and will be reviewing it at some point!) so I made that a priority read and learnt a lot of indispensable advice that I used during the first few days of her life. Unfortunately, because she came early, I hadn't completely finished it... But I'm reading a week at a time, so that the information is fresh in my mind.
Those two essays were my personal favourites, but the entire collection is a joy to read. Some are scarier than others, but if you're fed up with people skirting around serious topics and you just want to hear straight-up honesty, you'll adore them.
The most important thing is that all of these stories are true and none of them are sugar-coated. If you want a real idea of what it's going to be like to have a newborn baby, Things I Wish I'd Known will give you that.
This review was originally posted on The Bumbling Blogger.
I actually ended up relating the most to the first essay in the collection, written by Adele Parks. In it, she discusses her fears that her individuality would be dismissed after the arrival of her child and that she would just be referred to as "----'s mother", a worry which I'd discussed with a few of my friends towards the middle of my third trimester.
"I'd had a vision that it would be just me, my husband and our baby. Naive, I know. I felt extremely connected with my baby and I adored him, but I was not always comfortable with the new people who entered my life. I sometimes found them to be a distraction from the real business of mothering."
- Adele Parks
This was another fear which I shared with Parks.
When we learnt that the midwife and the health visitor would be appearing at the house regularly throughout the first couple of weeks of the baby's life, I was filled with trepidation. I knew that it happened to all mothers and we weren't being picked on, but I'm a very anxious person and I hate the tension that comes with knowing someone will be coming to your home but not having a definite time for their arrival.
We were told it could be any time between 9am and 4pm, and I was filled with worry: what if we'd just managed to get her to sleep, and the midwife turned up and started poking and prodding at her? The one piece of advice that we kept hearing was to never wake a sleeping baby!
However, reading that I wasn't the only mother who shared these worries helped put me at ease. I still wasn't looking forward to their visits, but at least I no longer felt terrified of them... And when they did arrive, they were all so lovely. It was actually nice to have some contact with the outside world, because we were living in our own little bubble for the first few days.
Another valuable piece of advice came from Emma Freud:
"Don't forgot to read a couple of chapters on what to do with the baby once it's born. It's very easy to use all your energy learning about the birth (which lasts about one day) and forget to learn about looking after the thing that gets born (which lasts about 81 years)."
After the antenatal classes I felt pretty prepared for the birth, so I was beginning to think ahead to what we would do when she arrived... But I hadn't done any research regarding it, which was a little short-sighted. Luckily, a couple of days before reading this essay I'd picked up a copy of Baby Milestones (and will be reviewing it at some point!) so I made that a priority read and learnt a lot of indispensable advice that I used during the first few days of her life. Unfortunately, because she came early, I hadn't completely finished it... But I'm reading a week at a time, so that the information is fresh in my mind.
Those two essays were my personal favourites, but the entire collection is a joy to read. Some are scarier than others, but if you're fed up with people skirting around serious topics and you just want to hear straight-up honesty, you'll adore them.
The most important thing is that all of these stories are true and none of them are sugar-coated. If you want a real idea of what it's going to be like to have a newborn baby, Things I Wish I'd Known will give you that.
This review was originally posted on The Bumbling Blogger.
September 2, 2021
I’m obviously feeling a little bit anxious about become a first time mum. I mean, I don’t really know someone who isn’t when they find out that they’re expecting for the first time. Which made this a seriously happy and comforting book to read. Rather than waxing on and off about how amazing motherhood is, this book is far more realistic.
Each chapter of this book is beautifully written. It deals with a multitude of realities and experiences. And, honestly, it just highlights the fact that every single parent, every single child, every single experience is different. Again, something that I found seriously comforting. I mean, it just shows that when all of your experiences are different, none of you is actually doing anything “wrong”.
Not only is this book serious in places and filled with information. It is also filled with humour. And the oddities of parenthood. It doesn’t stay stuck on ideas of what is proper, right or wrong. Rather, it focuses on a reality of… well, real life. Real life isn’t perfect and picturesque, but it is fun and worth doing. Which is the overarching message I got from this book.
I absolutely adored and devoured this book. It helped me feel a little more settled about what is to come, which, when you’re growing a human being, is kind of seriously helpful…
Each chapter of this book is beautifully written. It deals with a multitude of realities and experiences. And, honestly, it just highlights the fact that every single parent, every single child, every single experience is different. Again, something that I found seriously comforting. I mean, it just shows that when all of your experiences are different, none of you is actually doing anything “wrong”.
Not only is this book serious in places and filled with information. It is also filled with humour. And the oddities of parenthood. It doesn’t stay stuck on ideas of what is proper, right or wrong. Rather, it focuses on a reality of… well, real life. Real life isn’t perfect and picturesque, but it is fun and worth doing. Which is the overarching message I got from this book.
I absolutely adored and devoured this book. It helped me feel a little more settled about what is to come, which, when you’re growing a human being, is kind of seriously helpful…
September 9, 2020
This is a treat!!
A collection of essays about motherhood written by proper writers, as opposed to some blogger laughing at her own jokes.
Each writer focuses on a different aspect of motherhood, giving the reader a glimpse into her unique challenges and experiences. Many of the essays are genuinely funny; others heartfelt.
This book really helped me in the early days of being a new mom - especially being in lockdown, this book made me feel less alone.
Highly recommended!
A collection of essays about motherhood written by proper writers, as opposed to some blogger laughing at her own jokes.
Each writer focuses on a different aspect of motherhood, giving the reader a glimpse into her unique challenges and experiences. Many of the essays are genuinely funny; others heartfelt.
This book really helped me in the early days of being a new mom - especially being in lockdown, this book made me feel less alone.
Highly recommended!
October 5, 2016
Different opinios and different views of motherhood. easy to read and enjoy the reading :)
July 7, 2022
this book is very good, beyond my expectations. being in the middle of pregnancy made me feel like I had to prepare for anything; how to stimulate their development, what I can and can't do, what things I should buy, and what books I should read (and also buy). and then, this book came as a miracle for my overwhelmed soul. it slaps me with the reality of becoming a mother, which is a lot harder yet worth every exhausting night.
the most repetitive and logical tips I found later on in this book are:
1. try to not compare your parenting style to the others, nor do your baby.
2. being knowledgeable about what's coming is good, but don't forget to keep your spontaneity as a company (cause life is a lot more surprises than expected, isn't it?)
3. everything is just a phase, be tough and endure as long as possible
4. and again, everything is just a phase, this tiny and demanding person you are looking at now will be a grown-up soon, leaving you alone. so, cherish every moment :)
the most repetitive and logical tips I found later on in this book are:
1. try to not compare your parenting style to the others, nor do your baby.
2. being knowledgeable about what's coming is good, but don't forget to keep your spontaneity as a company (cause life is a lot more surprises than expected, isn't it?)
3. everything is just a phase, be tough and endure as long as possible
4. and again, everything is just a phase, this tiny and demanding person you are looking at now will be a grown-up soon, leaving you alone. so, cherish every moment :)
September 18, 2020
Purchase Things I Wish I'd Known here for just $10!
An intriguing title for an honest, sometimes hilarious look at motherhood. Whether you think you know it all, or nothing, everyone will get something out of these wonderful stories that combine joy, reality and honesty without the saccharine part.
Elisa - The Book Grocer
An intriguing title for an honest, sometimes hilarious look at motherhood. Whether you think you know it all, or nothing, everyone will get something out of these wonderful stories that combine joy, reality and honesty without the saccharine part.
Elisa - The Book Grocer
October 4, 2021
A lovely mixture of experiences from different Mothers. It would be useful to read before having a baby but even then it probably wouldn't stop all the worrying, comparing, and guilty feelings.
As a Grandmother I'm sufficiently distanced from the sleepless nights and nappy changing to find the book very funny indeed. It made me laugh out loud in several places, and I read through it quickly. Perhaps Health Visitors should read it too so that they can remember what it is that new Mothers are feeling.
As a Grandmother I'm sufficiently distanced from the sleepless nights and nappy changing to find the book very funny indeed. It made me laugh out loud in several places, and I read through it quickly. Perhaps Health Visitors should read it too so that they can remember what it is that new Mothers are feeling.
May 17, 2021
I did enjoy reading this book and felt it gave a very accurate insight into the world of being a mother, however, although the book did show diversity in terms of different cultures and different types of families I personally would have sound it a bit more interesting to read about parents who have experienced parenting a child with disabilities, had to deal with child illness or experienced premature birth but I guess you couldn’t possibly write about every type of parenting.
January 9, 2024
I'm glad I read this book in very early days of motherhood, because it saved me from the anxiety, uncertainty and confusion that comes with being a first time mom. I have been suggesting many new mom friends this book since then. The experiences shared by women in this book helped me calm my nerves and enjoy the mommy time than worry about it.
August 15, 2020
Buku yang sangat berkesan buatku! Lewat berbagai pengalaman yang diceritakan banyak perempuan dalam buku ini, aku belajar banyak banget hal yg sebelumnya gak pernah aku baca dan ketahui tentang menjadi ibu.
February 12, 2023
3.5/5. This collection of essays on motherhood was perfectly fine but I found most of the views very homogenous (and also how do so many of the women have 4 kids!) I did like that it was primarily London-based and found the summaries at the end useful and funny.
June 23, 2017
I really didn't like this book. It was overly negative, particularly about breast feeding, and was repetitive and boring.
September 26, 2018
Thanks to my cousin Charlotte for this one! It made me cry a lot, but that may be my hormones and exhaustion.
June 5, 2021
3.5 - more comforting than anything
September 2, 2024
Read it when I was expecting and this gave me an honest glimpse into experiences of different mothers which I felt prepared me well for motherhood.
July 17, 2016
Being in my mid twenties, motherhood isn't really on my mind. Why did I then put myself through this book you ask? I'm grappling with the pertinent question of why people evenbother having kids and I hoped I'd find some answers in this book. Alas, apart from a handful of mothers who said it was all worth it to see your child smile back at you, none of the others really touched on why they chose to have a child. Other than that, there were a lot of horror stories about pregnancy, child birth and post birth stress - all of which only served to corroborate my point of - but why? I didn't realise at first, but then sure enough saw that every one of the women in the book was a writer of some kind and privileged enough to freelance. This narrow sample is of no use to me since work life balance is an integral part of the challenges faced during motherhood and that was completely left out. I suspect that to be the case for most women readers - unless ofcourse, you're a writer of some kind and privileged enough to freelance.
January 10, 2016
What a disappointment - I picked it up in the kindle sale and thought it might have something to add, but in the main it was just that appalling kind of smart assed "sassiness" and may as well have been sponsored by a formula company.
An incredibly limited group of contributors - pretty much all professional writers of some sort, living in Lond - and an incredibly limited worldview.
So Afsaneh Knight's wonderful piece shone out, a jewel in otherwise unexceptional drabness.
An incredibly limited group of contributors - pretty much all professional writers of some sort, living in Lond - and an incredibly limited worldview.
So Afsaneh Knight's wonderful piece shone out, a jewel in otherwise unexceptional drabness.
February 3, 2016
I think it is useful to read about another person experiences in a new area for me. Looking through that point of view this book gave me exactly what it promised. Short essays about another mothers perspective of how it really was for them the enter in motherhood, with a few things that they wished they'd had know before.
Some passages were funny, a few scary and mostly of them showed with a striking honest what it was like for them to have a baby.
Some passages were funny, a few scary and mostly of them showed with a striking honest what it was like for them to have a baby.
October 9, 2020
Funny in many parts. So I liked it. Some great tips too!
“Whatever your child looks like, you may find yourself crying at some point in the hospital because everyone else’s babies are so ugly, whereas yours is so lovely. Just know that everyone thinks that about about their babies too, and feels sorry for you for having such a minger.”
ABSOLUTELY the best line in the book.
“Whatever your child looks like, you may find yourself crying at some point in the hospital because everyone else’s babies are so ugly, whereas yours is so lovely. Just know that everyone thinks that about about their babies too, and feels sorry for you for having such a minger.”
ABSOLUTELY the best line in the book.
January 28, 2018
I’m not usually one to enjoy short stories, however I thoroughly enjoyed this book. Hearing many perspectives on motherhood was captivating and great reminder that you’re not the only one thinking and feeling the way you do! A book on how parenting really is no sugar coating 🙂
April 15, 2015
I give this 3.5.
April 14, 2015
Another amazingly honest collection of motherhood by real mums. Full review: http://aussiebookworm.weebly.com/
September 4, 2015
Not as humorous as I was hoping for, well written but I confess I skipped a lot of the book as it got really repetitive
Displaying 1 - 30 of 35 reviews