Working with Difficult People: Handling the Ten Types of Problem People Without Losing Your Mind

by Amy Cooper Hakim, Muriel Solomon

A revised edition of the classic guide on how to best resolve conflict in today's technologically advanced workplace.

Your work day is filled with them--people who frustrate, impede, maneuver, undermine, plot, connive, and whine. This indispensable guide details specific techniques for handling all of them, with easy-to-follow scenarios for every situation.
 
Updated and revised to reflect modern issues including technology, generation gaps, and language barriers, this guide describes 10 kinds of culprits, from tyrants and bullies (regular and cyber) to the pushy and presumptuous to connivers and camouflagers; and offers helpful strategies and phrases for diffusing workplace tensions and effectively resolving conflicts.

Genres: Nonfiction, Self Help, Business, Leadership, Professional Development, Audiobook, Communication

352 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 1990

Reviews

[Chinchilla · Rating 3 out of 5]

I wanted to read a book like this because I have to work with subordinates who are simply difficult to work with. The pain is real, and I needed help. This book made me angry because, in a way, it's telling me that I am the one needing to change (taking different approaches to communicate or being more of a parent by making sure these imbeciles are on track of their goals/objectives) instead of the subordinates changing their attitude toward work and becoming more productive. But I suppose the ultimate goal is for me to be able to work with these people without losing my mind since sacking them isn't an option.

At first, it feels like this book is written for people who are too agreeable to take a stand for themselves. But then I realized that regardless how I felt about the situations, I was bound to working with other people since I decided to be an active participant of this civilized society. So that left me with two avenues: 1. Change jobs until I find a place filled with like-minded people who can properly govern themselves, or 2. Put a smile on my face and manipulate these goofballs so at least they can complete their work without inflict injuries to themselves (and/or others around).

I actually find bits and pieces of this book very useful. I enjoyed her accurate descriptions of these ten types of difficult people we encounter at a work place. I didn't have the heart to finish this book. It's too stressful to read about all different types of clowns at once. I'll keep it as a reference, for the future, when I encounter a few more types of intolerable idiots.

[Alexandra · Rating 3 out of 5]

Got a bit repetitive - a few main solutions: rise above and compliment people or firmly tell them to stop.

But pulling out the perspectives in both sides of a relationship really shows that it takes two to make a situation difficult and it's worth considering the POV of the other person.

[Rodrigo · Rating 3 out of 5]

It’s good to get help systematizing problems. This book may help in dealing with specific situations. However, I did not like the approach of creating characters that were conveniently reduced to difficult coworkers. People are more complex than that. In the end, treating people like humans is always the best approach.

[Emma · Rating 2 out of 5]

I didn't enjoy this book at all, but I could see how it might be helpful to other people, so I gave it 2 stars instead of 1. I found that I could identify myself in a few of the different types of "problem people" (and pretty much everyone I know could be classified as one or more of the types of people mentioned in this book), and the strategies given for dealing with people like myself seemed condescending. I would be incredibly offended if someone spoke to me in many of the ways this book suggests, and I can't imagine talking to someone else that way either. It seemed, to me, that the book assumed that everyone who was a "problem" was completely unaware of the fact that they were struggling, and needed to be spoken to like a child/idiot to be handled. Perhaps there are people who don't realize that they're a problem, but I would imagine the majority of people are fairly self-aware. Maybe it was because I listened to this as an audiobook, but I also found that it was too long, and most of the information could have been condensed into shorter stories and strategies.

[Sara Diane · Rating 2 out of 5]

I got this to see if it could help give me some practical tips for dealing with a very difficult co-worker. The examples are too vague, and the way the authors split up the topics meant that I couldn't easily be like "here's a way to deal with someone who is type 1 and 7 with a dash of 9." Which meant that book really was no help whatsoever to me. I also found it to be a bit simplistic--and maybe that's okay for a lot of situation, but I'm dealing with a master manipulator, and this just didn't offer any insight.

[Zaida · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book seems very good for anyone who has a leader, boss or who has to work as a team. Since there are always some people that we find difficult to work with. This book not only defines the type of person, but also explains how they think, how you feel and strategies to face the person.

This book seems great since it is very practical, it can help you in moments where you no longer know how to deal with the person.

[Rasy]

Dropping this; while it presents some sound ideas, it’s not constructive. Human beings are more complex than one category. And again, it’s repetitive.

[Benjamin · Rating 3 out of 5]

Occasionally, I come across a book that doesn’t really work as an audiobook. Working with Difficult People is certainly a must-have for any working-class bookshelf. Still, it was difficult to follow the thread of different difficult personalities when it was being read aloud. Sure, there were useful descriptions of the types of people you’ll encounter in the workforce, but there were at least a few of them where I wanted to slow down and read through those archetypes again to better understand the people who irk me in life.

Of course, going in, I was hoping I could read this book and understand how to handle people who I find difficult to work with. Instead, I kept listening to these people's descriptions and finding individuals who nearly matched them in my life. This was my main qualm with the book: people are more complex than a single difficult personality type. They often have two or three of these attributes combined in varying amounts to create their unique level of challenge. Alternatively, I also listened to this book and tried to identify where I fell in the “difficult people” spectrum. It can be a bit of an eye-opener when you realize, “Oh, I do that. That difficult person is me.”

I may still want to get this book in physical form, not only to appreciate its handbook format but to use it as a writer resource. I do try and strive for an amount of realism in the villains I write, so using this book as a structure for why certain difficult people (read: antagonists) are the way they are can help me create more meaningful and relatable villains and should help me avoid the standard supervillain archetypes that paint an antagonist as “purely evil.”

A simple resource for classifying difficult people, I give Working with Difficult People 3.0 stars out of 5.

  

[Christie · Rating 1 out of 5]

I had hoped to have strategies on approaching difficult subordinates but in the end the advice was to talk to them and trust the process. Essentially the book says on page 326 to not expect difficult people to change. The book puts a lot of the burden on that it must be the boss who did a thing to cause the situation and not the employee who has pattern behavior. I didn't see mention of research, though I only read the Subordinate chapters, so I would look for another book on strategies for those more challenging employees.

[Robin · Rating 2 out of 5]

Many of this book's suggestions and approaches used for conflict resolution would get people in trouble for being condescending and/or confrontational. That daid, it's summaries of various personality types is on point.

[Blue · Rating 4 out of 5]

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WOW.

This was extremely helpful to learn how to handle bullies in the work place but also how to handle co-workers that are snarky.

[Kaila · Rating 5 out of 5]

Took me a minute to understand the layout of this book as I listened to the audio version, but once I got it I really enjoyed it. Lots of tactical information to the point where I want to buy a physical copy for future reference.

[Claire · Rating 2 out of 5]

2.5 stars
Not groundbreaking, but likely helpful for some people who might be young in their careers or dealings with coworkers. I definitely felt affirmation reading this, but I didn’t come away with any tactics I could use (or haven’t already tried).

[John · Rating 4 out of 5]

must read 4 those dealing with jive turkeys dead weight just going to keep asking 4 ever & a day in a demanding time clutch way what you doing today tomorrow and next week time crunch from sat rump and this car rate worse than an oil leak

[Ghassan Samaha · Rating 5 out of 5]

It turns out that you need to lose your mind ahead of learning how to deal with difficult people. Unless you come across this valuable book

[Vikas · Rating 5 out of 5]

Loved the book. Very true to environment suggestion.

[Irini · Rating 2 out of 5]

Some of the advice in this book could easily be career suicide.

[Adam · Rating 2 out of 5]

Have confidence. That's the advice for the entire book.

[Tasha · Rating 4 out of 5]

I've read it and applied it in real life... not all things apply to everyone but this book did make my life a little easier this year.

[Lauren · Rating 4 out of 5]

I'm torn between a 3 or 4 star rating. On one hand, I really loved the way it was laid out. Overall personality types then separated into boss, colleague, subordinate chapters. This helps to identify what kind of person you're working FOR and WITH. But, it also helps to recognize who you are in the workplace and what you can do to make it an okay place. But on the other hand, it contained SO MUCH STUFF that I started to skim the last bit of it. I didn't have the kind of time to read it as closely as I wanted to, but I still found it kind of helpful.