The Mountain in my Shoe

by Louise Beech

After years of abuse, Bernadette makes the decision to leave her husband, only to find that he is missing … along with a little boy she'd befriended years earlier. A tense, dramatic and moving novel from the bestselling author of How To Be Brave and The Lion Tamer Who Lost.

'Full of beautiful descriptions, images and observations … hauntingly poignant, with a relentless tension and pace' Katie Marsh

'Moving, engrossing and richly drawn, this is storytelling in its purest form … mesmerising' Amanda Jennings

_______________

A missing boy. A missing book. A missing husband. A woman who must find them all to find herself.

On the night Bernadette finally has the courage to tell her domineering husband that she's leaving, he doesn't come home. Neither does Conor, the little boy she's befriended for the past five years. Also missing is his lifebook, the only thing that holds the answers.

With the help of Conor's foster mum, Bernadette must face her own past, her husband's secrets and a future she never dared imagine in order to find them all.

Exquisitely written and deeply touching, The Mountain in My Shoe is both page-turning psychological suspense and a powerful and emotive examination of the meaning of family … and just how far we're willing to go for the people we love.

_______________

'Deft and full of emotions' Irish Times

'It is a brilliantly creative work of fiction' We Love this Book (The Bookseller)

'A fabulous, exquisitely written novel that tugs at the soul … incredibly moving' David Young

'A moving and powerful book' Jane Lythell

'A rich, psychologically profound novel about overcoming adversity … It's a masterpiece' Gill Paul

'Dark, compelling and highly thought-provoking … a fascinating page-turner that wrenches at your insides' Off-the-Shelf Books

'A wonderful, nuanced book probing the damages wreaked by absence and neglect, while exploring the power of love and hope … and what it means to be truly "home". It made me laugh and cry by turns. I loved it' Melissa Bailey

'An exquisite novel. Darkly compelling emotionally charged. And I LOVED it!' Jane Isaac

Genres: Fiction, Contemporary, Book Club, Suspense, British Literature, Audiobook, Mystery

348 pages, Kindle Edition

First published July 23, 2016

About the author

Also publishes under Louise Swanson.

Louise Beech is the author of eleven novels and a memoir, Eighteen Seconds (2023). Her debut, How to be Brave, was a Guardian Readers’ Pick; The Lion Tamer Who Lost shortlisted for the Romantic Novel Awards 2019 and longlisted for the Polari Prize the same year; Call Me Star Girl was Best magazine’s Book of the Year; This Is How We Are Human was a Clare Mackintosh Book Club pick; and the audiobook of her memoir, Daffodils, shortlisted for the Audies23. Her thrillers, End of Story and Lights Out, are written as Louise Swanson; the former was chosen by Sophie Hannah as a Book of the Year in the Daily Mail, and the latter was reviewed by The Times. Her debut play, How to be Brave, toured Yorkshire venues in 2024. Wonderful will be published 1st June 2026.

Louise also writes as Louise Swanson.

Reviews

[Chelsea Humphrey · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is the first time in a LONG time I’ve been left speechless upon finishing a book, especially one that’s fiction. Please forgive me as I continue to try and find the words to write this review; how can you contain such a magnificent read into such a concise and brief afterthought? I had heard wonderful things about Louise Beech’s writing from other trusted reviewers, but as a reader who was new to her work I had no clue what I was really in for. The Mountain in My Shoe is a stunning read that breaks the barriers we place on genre molds; this book was simultaneously heavy and hopeful, mysterious yet humorous, with hints of psychological suspense and drama while keeping to a traditional contemporary feel. In a nutshell, this book holds something for everyone, while also carrying themes that are important and relevant to our day and time.

If you read the jacket summary, then you know that this book holds a certain air of intrigue and imminent danger (to an extent) from the very first page. My first thought was “is it a coincidence that Conor and Bernadette’s husband go missing on the very same night?”, and clearly you’ll have to read the book to find out, but I loved how I developed so many questions from the very start that I needed answers to darn it! We are privy to a few view points in the story, but “the book” is as living and breathing a character on our journey as any human being we follow for 300+ pages. The writing is both beautiful and haunting, making for a perfect mixture of elegance and heart wrenching sadness to completely invest your emotions in. I was particularly moved while reading what all precious Conor had been through in his short life; this was an integral part of the novel and what brought the entire story to fruition.

I really don’t want to touch on the plot any more than I already have, but let’s suffice it to say YOU NEED TO READ THIS BOOK. Yes, it’s THAT good. It is worth your time, the hype is well justified, and your heart and its feely good tendrils will thank me later. The Mountain in My Shoe is the type of book to bring many different readers together to connect over something so wonderful and magical. There is nothing pretentious about this book, yet you do feel like you have read something worthwhile upon finishing it. I know the characters and this journey will stay with me for a long time to come. Do yourself a favor by purchasing a copy and treat yourself by becoming a part of this story that so many others have cherished. Highly recommended to everyone!

*Many thanks to Karen at Orenda Books for sending my copy all the way across the pond! Each book from her is a treat and it is a delight to review for you!

[Miriam Smith (A Mother’s Musings) · Rating 5 out of 5]

Knowing Louise Beech's penchant for creating such poignant and emotional stories based on true life or realistic events, I just knew I was in for a fabulous read and I had my tissues at hand just in case.
Oh my! Well, she did it again - wrote an absolute belter with her debut book "How To Be Brave" and now with the moving and powerful book "The Mountain In My Shoe" she surpassed my expectations and had me gripped to the pages unable to put it down. With a very intriguing title and a beautiful cover this book has EVERYTHING, and if I could award it more than five stars I would.
Blurb - A missing boy. A missing book. A missing husband. A woman who must find them all to find herself...... On the night Bernadette finally has the courage to tell her domineering husband that she’s leaving, he doesn’t come home. Neither does Conor, the little boy she’s befriended for the past five years. Also missing is his lifebook, the only thing that holds the answers.
I loved this story, a psychological thriller tied with an emotional family drama that was touching, poignant and stunningly written. It was such an ingenious way to incorporate a 'LifeBook' into the narrative and it really explained so much regarding how the foster system works and enabled the reader to get so close to Conor and feel every emotion. The author has a fabulous way of bringing her characters to life and each of the characters in this book appeared to me so clearly I could have been standing next to them.
Sadly, so many children find themselves in the same position as Conor, I myself know of these situations having a close neighbour who has fostered children for many years and I've seen first hand the sort of problems that arise. Just knowing Conor had people looking out for him and wanting to give him love and support gave me such happiness and during the last couple of chapters I had a permanent lump in my throat and tears in my eyes - Louise, you owe me a box of tissues and a LOT of therapy!!
Louise Beech is such a talented writer and deserves all the praise and recognition she receives, she has fast become a favourite author of mine and I so look forward to reading more by her in the future.

More than 5 stars!!!!

[Joanne Robertson · Rating 5 out of 5]

I know that I’m not alone in saying that I so adored How to be Brave, the first novel by Louise Beech, that I was worried about reading her follow up as I didn’t want to be disappointed by my (probably unrealistically high) expectations! But I should have trusted the extraordinary talent of this “new literary talent on the block” as, although a different style of book to How to be Brave, this book totally exceeded my expectations….I absolutely LOVED it! In fact I decided to sleep on my review so that I got it just right and did it justice. But even now, after a sleepless night where the characters refused to stop interacting with my brain, I know that my words will never live up to the emotions that literally bubbled to the surface from reading this poignant tale.

Although billed as a psychological thriller this has so much more depth to it than you can hope to expect in that genre. The story is told with three character points of view, firstly Bernadette who’s an official friend to a fostered 10 year old boy. From the start we are very aware that her marriage is not functioning as others do. She seems very controlled by her husband and there is definitely some psychological abuse as well as a possible history of physical abuse. But I took to this quiet and nervously unassuming woman as soon as she was introduced. Then we have Conor who has gone missing from his foster mum’s house and may be heading for his real family. And the final teller of tales is The Book. Now I found The Book to be the most heartbreaking  and difficult of the three turns to read. My heart ached for the baby, toddler and then young schoolboy that Conor became. Let down by adults, never through any fault of his own, it gave an insight into a system that I had never experienced written about in such a way  before. It truly tugged at my heartstrings but all the while balancing that emotion with a promise of hope.

I know that writers are advised to “show” readers not tell them  and with her soft, almost poetic writing style Louise Beech makes her characters and settings as real to the reader as if they were there on the page with them. This stunning book will stay with me for quite some time to come.

[Sarah · Rating 5 out of 5]

The Mountain In My Shoe is a story that alternates between Bernadette, Conor and a book.

Bernadette is quite a fragile person. She hasn’t been happy for a long time in her marriage to her husband Richard. After years of pretty much existing she finally finds the strength to leave him and move on.

Unbeknown to her husband, Bernadette has secretly been volunteering to befriend children in care. The child she gets to befriend is ten year old Conor. Conor has a huge impact on Bernadette and you can tell she cares as much about him as she would her own children if she had any.

Conor just has to be the sweetest character. He has been through an awful lot in his short time and he has found it hard, but he has this air of maturity about him as well as childlike that just makes you want to give him a big squeeze. Luckily over the last few years he has found a lovely carer in Anne, who is good friends with Bernadette. These two woman have a huge impact on his life. Even though he still gets to see his real mum a couple of times a month, Bernadette and Anne are the much needed role models that he needs that give him the love and attention he so desperately seeks.

The book is Conor’s lifebook. This is a book where his mother, his carers, everyone really he has come into contact with, can write something in it so that when he gets to eighteen he has something to look back on in his time in care. Through the book we get a glimpse into what Conor has been through from being born to where he is now and it makes for a very informative and in parts an emotional read.

This authors novels are so atmospheric. You get a real sense of where the characters live and the surrounding area. Through her writing she draws her readers in so that you lose yourselves into the characters world and what is going on in their lives. I couldn’t help but feel attached to Conor, Bernadette and Anne especially. They are such fabulous characters who instantly warm your heart.

The Mountain In My Shoe is just a truly wonderful novel that will melt any heart. It is shrouded with mystery and with such great characters, I literally could not tear myself away from the story. It is beautifully written and an extremely touching read. Loved it.

My thanks to Karen at Orenda for a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.

[Karen · Rating 5 out of 5]

I reviewed Louise’s debut novel last year (How To Be Brave) and it was one of my top books of 2015. Louise Beech has written another stunning book and this is definitely a sure contender for my 2016 books of the year list.

The story centres around Conor, a 10 year old boy in the care system who has been shunted from various foster homes all his life. He does have a birth mother but although she is unable to care for him she won’t let him be adopted. Despite such a difficult start to his life, Conor comes across as a likeable, resilient character albeit with his own behavioural issues at times. He is bright, loves art and idolises Mohammed Ali and now that he has found a loving home with foster mother, Anne, he appears to be settling in well. Conor’s backstory is cleverly told by using a ‘Life Book’ which contains contributions by way of letters and photos from people, including social workers, teachers and foster carers who have played a significant part in his short life. This Life Book is intended to be passed to Conor when he is 18 so that he has a record of his early life which would normally be passed on by parents and family. Through these notes and letters, we build up a picture of the sad and disrupted life that Conor has endured.

Bernadette’s story also appears to be rather a sad one and she cuts a rather lonely figure in a difficult marriage with suggestions of abuse. She is a ‘Befriender’ to Conor; a voluntary role, which she does secretly and she has taken this little boy to her heart. When Conor goes missing the same night that her husband does not return home at his usual time, she is more worried about Conor than her husband, feeling angry that he has changed his routine on the very night that she had decided to leave him. There is something else missing that evening – Conor’s Life book which Bernadette had borrowed and which was on her bookshelf.

Louise Beech has again demonstrated her talent for writing emotional and heart tugging stories and her writing is just beautiful. The story is written with compassion and is clearly written from the heart. Reading the entries in the Life Book was, for me, very moving. I would recommend that you don’t skip past these as you would be missing out on such an important part of the story – I really felt for Conor and for all the other young children like him, placed in care through difficult family circumstances and being passed from pillar to post when all they want is some stability and a loving home of their own.

While foster mother Anne and Bernadette are out searching for Conor, there is a feeling of foreboding in wondering whether there was any link between the two disappearances and what may have happened to the young boy. As the night goes on, a special bond is formed between the two women and life shattering revelations are disclosed .

Although the story is set around Humberside, a part of the country that I am unfamiliar with, there is such an excellent and descriptive sense of place that I could easily visualise the setting.

The narrative is voiced by both Bernadette and Conor and there are many layers to the story – the excellently drawn characters that feel so believable; the suspense element, dysfunctional relationships and families and how easily people can can take a wrong path in their lives. Reading about children like Conor, really brings it home how fortunate many of us are to have had loving and stable family backgrounds.

The Mountain in My Shoe is a fabulous book and one that has cemented Louise Beech as one of my ‘must read’ authors.

[Jules · Rating 5 out of 5]

Having absolutely LOVED How to be Brave, I’m slightly ashamed of myself for taking so long to finally read Louise Beech’s second novel, The Mountain in My Shoe. Fingers crossed it won’t take me so long to start reading her third novel, especially after loving this book so much too.

The Mountain in My Shoe is a sort of contemporary, psychological, a bit thriller, a hint of domestic noir, emotional, thought-provoking, sad, but also feel-good character led story. Please don’t ask me to stick this in just one category, because that would be impossible for me to do, and I’d be here all day changing my mind.

I adored the characters in this book, especially Bernadette, who I really felt for. The characters are well-developed and believable. You can’t help but grow to love them, and feel yourself truly connecting with what they’re going through.

Reading about the fostering process, felt quite close to my heart, as my husband was adopted. I loved ‘The Book’. What a great idea. This book is a gift. That’s what it is. A gift because it will one day be your memory. What an intriguing way to start this story.

This book captured my curiosity from the very first sentence and kept hold of my heart until the very end.

I highly recommend this book if you like the sound of the blurb and enjoy any or all of the genres I’ve listed above. Looking forward to reading Maria in the Moon even more now!

[Tracy Fenton · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is the second book by Louise Beech and it is another beautiful and skilfully crafted novel with believable characters and a moving storyline. The author has an incredible skill of bringing the characters to life and ensuring the reader is truly captivated in every chapter. 4.5 stars

[The Book Review Café · Rating 5 out of 5]

All my reviews can be found at http://thebookreviewcafe.com

I must be the last book blogger on the planet to read The Mountain In My Shoe by Louise Beech, I think the reason it took me so long to read it was because everyone was saying how fabulous it was, now normally I usually find a book with so much praise leaves me feeling disappointed, but this wasn’t the case, so now every book blogger can say “I told you so”. I have to say it is the most exquisite and emotive book I have read in a very long while, and in a way it may sound strange but I’m glad I left it so long as I savoured every page of this haunting and beautifully told story.

This book is about Bernadette, a young woman trapped in an unhappy marriage who happens to befriend Conor, a 10-year-old who has spent all his life in foster care. The same night Bernadette’s husband Richard doesn’t come home, Conor also disappears. What happened to Richard and where has Connor gone? What follows is a gripping and deeply emotional read. Conor is a young boy who has spent his life being passed around the care system, he is desperate to be part of a loving family, as I read Conor’s life story told in book form I couldn’t help hoping he would find his “happy ever after”. The way the author tells Connor’s life story is ingenious, I felt for every child who has been through the care system, the writing is so expressive and credible I found myself in tears on more than one occasion.

Although this book deals with difficult issues of abandonment and abuse it’s a story of hope, compassion and the beauty of good people wanting to help others, it examines the meaning of family and explores how far a person is willing to go for the people they love. The Mountain In My Shoes is like no other psychological thriller I have ever read, it has depth but it’s also heartwarming and captivating.

This book has so many elements that made it such a special read, characters, settings, the attention to detail, the workings of the foster system all make this book something extra special. Louise Beech describes both characters and settings with such conviction the pages of this story come to life. Hauntingly poignant I really did not want this book to end, and I’m sure the characters will stay with me for a long time to come. On reflection The Mountain In My Shoes deserves all its hype and much more, would I recommend this book? Hell yes I will be recommending this book to everyone (who hasn’t read it yet!)

[ReadsSometimes · Rating 5 out of 5]

A missing boy. A missing book. A missing husband. A woman who must find them all to find herself.

On the night Bernadette finally has the courage to tell her domineering husband that she's leaving, he doesn't come home. Neither does Conor, the little boy she's befriended for the past five years. Also missing is his Lifebook, the only thing that holds the answers. With the help of Conor's foster mom, Bernadette must face her own past, her husband's secrets and a future she never dared imagine in order to find them all.


I'm going to have a book hangover! What a gorgeous read that was. After reading the synopsis I was intrigued and felt compelled to read it. Not quite my usual genre, gritty crime/thrillers, but in many ways, it had plenty of suspense and grit.

The little boy, Conor is a wonderful little character. The poor lad has been in and out of foster homes and has become quite hardened to the whole system and process. Your heart just goes out to him and what he endures throughout the story.

This is a genuine, heartfelt and heartwarming story written beautifully. It is full of pure and real emotion and I found myself immensely absorbed. All the characters are very well thought through and interact fantastically - it's quite obvious the author has researched the subject extensively.

Overall, it's brilliant, in so many ways. A joy and a pleasure to read with high praise for the author.

I couldn't give it any less than 5* - Lovely!!

[Sharon Metcalf · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5 stars
Stories of foster children never fail to draw my attention and The Mountain In My Shoe by Louise Beech was no exception. Not only did the characters feel so real they could draw breath, but the story had an element of suspense which at times had me holding mine. Perhaps that's an exaggeration. This wasn't exactly a thriller but it contained a few elements and plot twists that had me speculating about the who, what and why's. For me it was an enjoyable blend of believable characters - mostly likeable but even those who were not had their redeeming characters - and a realistic but very interesting story.

The story is told through Conor, Bernadette and a book. Conor is the foster child, a resilient young boy who has never lived with his mum, has no idea who his dad is, and by the age of five has already been placed in a series of homes. When things become overwhelming he falls upon his love of drawing as an escape mechanism and his adoration of Mohammed Ali. Though he tries to put up a brave or tough exterior, and at times lashes out with coarse language, he struck me as a gentle and caring soul. Bernadette is a volunteer at Befriend For Life and has been a friend to Conor for five years. Married to a controlling and sometimes aggressive husband, Bernadette is down trodden and unhappy. Her only true joy in life is derived from Conor, though this relationship is secret. Her husband Richard would never permit it, and she fears the consequences if he ever found out. The book is Conor's Lifebook, a leatherbound volume to be handed to him on his 18th birthday. Since his birth the book has been filled with entries by social workers, foster parents, teachers, his birth mother, Bernadette and various others including Conor himself. Each record, each letter, is designed to give Conor a history, and naturally it works as a perfect vehicle to help fill the gaps for readers. The hub of this story centres around one huge and unsettling day. A day in which Bernadette has summonsed the courage to leave Richard. A day in which Conor goes missing. A day in which both Richard and the Lifebook are not where they are expected to be. The story had me turning pages quickly. I could almost see and hear the characters, could understand the circumstances that brought each one to their current station in life.

This was the authors second book and she has recently written her third. I've already read at least one glowing review about her recently published Maria In The Moon, and her debut novel How To Be Brave has now caught my attention for the same reason. Three books published in three years and all with GR ratings in the 4's, I am excited to have discovered another author to add to my ever growing list of favourites. An entirely readable and enjoyable book.

[Maxine (Booklover Catlady) · Rating 5 out of 5]

This novel is Exquisite. Simply stunning storyline that pulled at my heartstrings and kept me glued to the pages from the very start until the final word. My first book read by Louise Beech and I'm very impressed.

Full rave review on way.

[Laura Wonderchick · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wow! I don't even know where to start with this one. Truly a unique plot with every range of emotions. I fell in love with Conor & his elongated family. One thing that kept going through my head as I read his story was the saying "it takes a village". A village of caring people to live a child, blood related or not.
A very cleverly writing style made this a book you can't put down.
Thanks to Karen at Orenda books for this copy in exchange for review. It was an honor to have read it.

[Donna · Rating 5 out of 5]

Well Louise Beech has done it again, another fantastic book that I didn't want to end. Conor is a young boy who has spent his life being passed around the care system, he has a love for art, Muhammad Ali and his mum but most of all he needs someone to love him. Bernadette is married to Richard, he thinks they are happy she knows they're not. Bernadette wants nothing more than a child of her own something she hasn't been blessed with. Richard likes to control Bernadettes life which means she makes the big decision not to tell him about the voluntary work she does as a friend to children in care. While being a volunteer she forms a strong bond with Conor and his foster carer Anne. When Bernadette receives a frantic call from Anne one evening telling her Conor is missing she knows she has to be there helping find him. At the same time Bernadette has made the big decision to leave Richard, does she wait for Richard to come home from work or does she go search for Conor? But Richard is late, he is never late. Why hasn't he come home? Bernadette doesn't hang around to find out she needs to find Conor. The evening events that follow will lead Bernadette to some devastating news, the secrets she and Richard have hidden from each other over the years are about to be told.
Louise Beech has a style of writing which is unique to her. It flows beautifully and draws you in so that you want to know every detail about every character. This is so so different to How To Be Brave her previous novel but equally as special. Louise definitely writes from the heart and this clearly comes across in her books.
Absolutely magical.

[Helen · Rating 5 out of 5]

I absolutely adored Louise Beech's debut 'How To Be Brave' and feared that she would struggle to match it ..... I was, I'm pleased to say very, very wrong.

The Mountain in My Shoe is a wonderful story of a young boy who has been passed from pillar to post in the care system and his befriender - the book is, as expected, beautifully written, the story is wonderfully crafted and the characters, right from the lead players through to the local taxi driver, are fabulously brought to life with Louise Beech's talent and ability to make you care.

I rode the rollercoaster of emotions with Connor, Bernadette and Ann in this heart wrenching and compelling book which deals seamlessly with the merging of two troubled lives and the dark and thought provoking aspects of Bernadette's marriage and Connors life in the care system. Two weeks after finishing the book I am still thinking about what might now be happening in their lives.

I can't recommend this book highly enough - it truly is 'the whole package' - unreserved 5 stars

[Marina Sofia · Rating 4 out of 5]

A chilling tale of parental neglect, but ultimately hopeful and uplifting.

[Jeanette Hewitt · Rating 5 out of 5]

I'd read How to be Brave and wondered if anything could top it. The Mountain in my Shoe did! It's fantastic writing, a gripping storyline with brilliant characters who are totally identifiable.
I didn't know much about the care system and I feel I've learned a lot. For someone with experience of fostering and the system, this book will really resonate.
Louise Beech has a real talent for getting inside her characters and making the reader care. Beech is one of those rare authors who I will now purchase any of her books without even reading the blurb.
The Mountain in my Shoe is a book which will stay with me for a very long time to come.

[Meggy Chocolate'n'Waffles · Rating 5 out of 5]

Reading certain stories feels like taking a bath. You open the first page, tentatively brushing the water with your toe to check the temperature, and you relax instantly, you know you are in good hands. So you climb into the tub, you let the steam fill your head and your body soak into the water. The Mountain in my Shoe’s waves of words washed over me until it felt a print on my skin, emotions, and mind.

First, I owe Bernadette an apology. Because of her name, I assumed right from the start that she was an old lady with a cane and a shawl around her shoulders. I blame the wife of a former French president for the image that my brain created of the character, and I was so happy to see it replaced by a more accurate picture of the truth not too long after my first impression. Bernadette is indeed what would be considered an old name in my country and it took me a little while to detach myself from the cliché!

But I had a lot more to think about than just a name. Like some Lego game, every chapter places bits and pieces up and all around you until you are faced with every one the characters, standing tall and naked in front of you. It takes hours and hardships, it takes memories and every one of yours and their senses, it takes steps and emotions, it takes risks and leaves. They say “show, don’t tell”. Louise Beech masterfully introduces you to some of the most wonderful and tragic protagonists I have ever met and throws them into a taut and emotional psychological thriller.

But hope dies eventually, like a potted plant in an unused room.

So, when I read her name, I thought Bernadette and I would remain strangers to each other. The name did not appeal, it felt weird in my mouth, like when you pick a sweet in a box and realize too late it was not the one you wanted. But we met through the beautifully lyrical writing of the author and I was swept away, transported to the life of a woman I’d just met. I could see her move before my eyes, I could feel her pain in my chest. It all happened so fast that before the first chapter, I was far from my couch, my heart aching for a woman stuck in a dull life she did not deserve, in a distressful situation I wanted to save her from. I felt the urge to reach out and fight for her, which rarely happens. Yes, I feel for characters, I fall for them, but I usually don’t feel so empathetic as to want to solve their issues myself! Louise Beech gave me a friend in Bernadette, someone to root for, someone to care for.

She is late to her own life.

Then I met Conor. I used to hate kids and they always loved me. I was the teen stuck with the babies at gathering, bored to death. Now I don’t see many kids but I’m not interested anyway. My biological clock hasn’t started ticking, she is still sound asleep. So, I was surprised to react to Conor’s words, to his sweet childish behavior, to his naive beliefs and I was struck by his courage. I find children narrations to be difficult, but once again Louise Beech nailed it, as youngsters would say. I had this small, resilient voice in my head, hoping, swearing, fighting for his life, for belonging, for answers. The real voice of a child who has been handed bad cards by life.

I reckon family are like the sun and when they leave you get so cold your teeth chatter.

Richard. One of the most mysterious characters I came upon. My emotions towards him changed as different pairs of eyes stared at him, as different minds and histories recalled the good and the bad, as different people shared their life with him. I never felt so unsure of myself. I admit I judge, but I also try and understand decisions, personalities, actions. The author gave me a man I have no idea how to figure out and I am left wondering. Guess what? I loved it this way.

Don’t remind of the man you can be – just sometimes – because I’ve fallen out of love with the one you mostly are.

Other characters filled the holes in Conor’s history. Anne’s warmth reached me when I needed the most, when the tension was so high it felt like waiting for my own kid to walk into the room. A very special narration also waits for you among the pages, and while I expected it to be clear, cut, impersonal, like those kinds of things seem to be, it only showed me there was also light at the heart of a system that does its best with what it is given. I teared up the most at those heart-breaking snippets. I was waiting for them every time, whether they brought good or bad news.

To say characterization was perfect is a euphemism. Characterization is at the heart of The Mountain in my Shoe. Characterization is what makes this story an original and heart-wrenching masterpiece served by the superb writing of a power beyond any author’s dreams.

Torn and broken and shattered hearts are just clichés; really the heart quietly aches in such moments.

I was curious about the connections of events, of course. When I am given drops of life in clever alternate chapters, my appetite for answers grow with every page, as fast as questions and worries started to riddle Bernadette. Her husband gone. A kid gone. The mystery knocks on Bernadette’s door one day the way life likes to invite itself to the party. Of course, you think life’s ruining it with all that tension and those emotions you did not ask for. You had the whole day planned in your head, your own issues to take care of. But the beauty of it is that you even if you never know what it brings you, you must open the door and let it happen, even if it’s terrible. So, it is up to women (again and again!) to pick up the pieces and try to reassemble them to recreate a picture while pressure and tension is trying to crush them. The author plotted this story with the idea of women gently putting life’s shattered parts together to invent a different picture. Louise Beech created a tale of life in which weak and strong go together, tears and laughs are inseparable, things happen for a reason, and you can find beauty and solace where you least expect it.

I cried, I smiled, I laughed, I was frightened, I felt sorry. I lived this story.

Sometimes when you find out everything it just means more questions.

The rating was rounded up from 4.5 to 5 stars. This review was originally published on my blog.

[Cathy Ryan · Rating 5 out of 5]

After several years of moving from one foster home to another, ten year old Conor has been settled with his latest foster mother, Anne, for five years. Both are very happy with the arrangement. His birth mother is unable to care for him but won’t agree to an adoption hence the foster care. Despite what he has been through in his short life, Conor has proved to be quite adaptable although he does understandably have issues. One of his passions is art, at which he excels. The other is Mohammed Ali, whom he hero-worships.

I love the way Louise Beech has used Conor’s Life Book, written by social workers and other people who are important in Conor’s life, to tell his back story. Extracts from the book, a lot of them quite sad, are interspersed throughout the narrative.

One such person is Bernadette, an unhappy young woman with a controlling and sometimes cruel husband. She has befriended Conor through volunteering, and they’ve become an important part of each other’s lives for the past five years. As the story opens Bernadette is leaving her husband, waiting until he arrives home to tell him. But the man who keeps to such a tight schedule, always arriving home at the exact same time, is late.

That night three things go missing—Richard, Conor’s Life Book and Conor himself. On the face of it, three incidents with no connection. As Anne and Bernadette join together in a desperate search for Conor, details of Bernadette’s story are slowly revealed as we also get Conor’s view of his experiences. Chapters are short and move the storyline along revealing the intricate layers. Wonderful and distinctive characters people a thought provoking tale that explores the emotive topic of neglect and the complexity of families. Conor stole the show for me, I couldn’t help but be moved by his situation and courage. It brings home how many children must be in a similar situation.

Louise Beech writes with perception, and empathy for her characters who are all fully rounded and very realistic. The research that must have been undertaken with regard to child services and foster care is meticulous. Although the story covers distressing subjects including neglect, rejection and abuse, it also showcases compassion, the fact there is always hope and the true meaning of family. A very thoughtful and intuitive read.

[Nida Kazi · Rating 5 out of 5]

''It isn’t the mountains ahead to climb that wear you out; it’s the pebble in your shoe.’' ~Muhammad Ali

(Amazing story)

[Anne · Rating 5 out of 5]

I really admired this author's writing in How To Be Brave, she has a delicate touch, yet her story telling is so incredibly strong. I hoped for the same with The Mountain in My Shoe.

Sometimes, and only sometimes, a book can touch the most hidden parts of the mind, evoking emotions and memories that may have been stored away for a long time. That is what happened when I read The Mountain in My Shoe.

I was overcome with an incredible feeling of familiarity whilst reading about Bernadette, Anne and Conor. Their story is set in and around Hull and Doncaster; places that I know very well, and Bernadette is a volunteer befriender, trained by a local charity and matched with young Conor - a boy who has spent most of his young life moving around from foster home to care home. I've done this too, I spent almost ten years working with looked-after children; first as a volunteer befriender and then as the scheme co-ordinator. Louise Beech has so skilfully and beautifully described the relationship between a volunteer and the young person, revealing the heartbreak but also the incredible bond that can be formed.

Billed as a 'psychological thriller', The Mountain in My Shoe is that, and so much more. It's a detailed and evocative story of relationships; how they are built and how they can break and how they can destroy those who are part of them.

Young Conor has been let down by those that should have cared most. Everyone who has ever cared for him have been paid to do so, until Bernadette became his volunteer. Their growing relationship is narrated individually by both of them, and also through the entries in Conor's Life Book. Using the Life Book to highlight the key points in his life is a magic touch, giving the reader far more insight into how he entered the system, and why he sometimes behaves in certain ways.

The plotting is so tight. Bernadette's husband Richard doesn't arrive home from work at his usual time. she's also misplaced Conor's Life Book, and then Conor's foster-mother Anne calls to say that he hasn't returned from school. Three seemingly unrelated incidents, but as the story unravels and Bernadette learns more about Richard, everything becomes closer and closer, until finally, each character and each incident is firmly knitted together.

Nestled within the story of Conor's life and the search for him and Richard, is the slow reveal of Bernardette's relationship with her husband. She begins to open her heart to Anne; to explain why she could only visit Conor on a Saturday when Richard was at work. Carefully and delicately dealt with, Louise Beech examines the intricacies of a marriage, and how the long-term acceptance by Bernadette of certain behaviours have shaped her character. These glimpses are done so elegantly, expertly handled by an author who shows real insight into troubled minds.

At its heart, The Mountain in My Shoe is a story of bravery, just like the author's first book. It is absolutely captivating with characters who are still living in my mind, and a plot that packs a very powerful punch. This is an absolute triumph. Brilliant.

http://randomthingsthroughmyletterbox...

[Tripfiction · Rating 5 out of 5]

Novel set in EAST YORKSHIRE, UK (a strong, moving and compelling story)

A powerful novel of love and secrets, set in the all too real settings of Bernadette in a loveless marriage, and Conor who is a boy being passed from foster home to foster home.

Bernadette has been married for 10 years to a man she realises she has no longer loves. They live in a cold and damp flat, alongside the dark and dangerous River Humber. Bernadette has her husband’s meal ready every day when he returns from work at 6pm sharp – except for the one day she decides to leave him. Coincidentally that is the day he breaks his routine and does not arrive home at 6pm. She finds it is “difficult to leave a man that isn’t there“. Where is he?

Conor is a young boy who, through no fault of his own, finds himself transferred from foster home to foster home. He, like the River Humber, swirls and eddies around looking for something to cling onto that he can believe will be permanent and solid in his life.

The night that Bernadette’s husband disappears so too does Conor, and Bernadette is racing against time to find Conor. In so doing Bernadette uncovers the secrets of those around her, and also those hidden within herself.

The chapters are short, interesting and thought provoking. Tension and pace builds around Conor’s safety – physically and psychologically, and what secrets Bernadette’s husband has been keeping.

Having read, and loved, How to be Brave by this author, I was keen to read her second novel, though apprehensive that it would not be as good as the first. I was wrong. Though this book covers completely different areas of life, the writing is as strong and moving as her first book. The insights into the life of a (fictional) foster child are very moving as well as shocking, but with wonderful, heart warming moments too. I love the idea of the Life Book to record events and memories – a great idea for any child, not just those in care.

For me this is a 5* book because of the brilliant way author Louise Beech has of taking the reader right into the heart of the main characters. The compelling themes of what is important in life and relationships completely absorbed me.

[Rachel Gilbey · Rating 5 out of 5]

I really wasn't sure what to expect from this book, which makes my enjoyment of it all the more surprising. I had been slightly apprehensive at first as I have met plenty of people that rave about this author, this publisher, this book, but yet perhaps because it didn't have the sort of cover I tend to go for, I was slightly unsure.

Yet it didn't take long for me to realise I was reading something special. The writing is beautiful and at times the story was really emotional. At other times, the story , well OK I did predict some of the key elements, but yet there was so much story still after what I had guessed was revealed that it kept me guessing until the end.

This is the story of Bernadette and Connor. Bernadette is intending to leave her controlling husband, but yet the night she intends to tell him is isn't home at his routine time. Bernadette also can't find the lifebook belonging to Connor, on that same day. Then Anne, Connor's foster mum rings and suddenly there are far more important things in the world to Bernadette than leaving Richard.

What fascinated me and drew me in initially were the entries from Connor's lifebook. It really tugged on my heartstrings, while giving a fantastic insight into Connor's early years. As well as being a useful book for Connor to have, it also gives readers vital background information as to why Connor is the way he is.

We discover as the story progresses just what Bernadette's marriage was like, and how seeing Connor every other Saturday were the high points in her life. There are some rather unusual friendships in this book, but they all work, and the characters all felt so real to me.

There was always something happening to move the story forwards, and I loved the pacing of the whole novel. It went from me getting to grips with the book in 20 page stints throughout the day, to me reading the last 100 plus pages in one sitting not really caring about what else I was meant to be doing.

The Mountain in My Shoe is beautifully written, and is completely compulsive reading.

[Laura Besley · Rating 4 out of 5]

I've not read all of Louise Beech's books, but so far have not been disappointed. This was an emotional read.

[Kelly · Rating 5 out of 5]

I am positive that The Mountain in My Shoe will be in my top 5 reads for the year. It is an amazing, unique book. The book starts with 3 missing; Bernadette's husband, 10 yr old Conor in foster care who Bernadette has befriended, and Conor's Life Book which was in Bernadette's possession. This book is part suspense, but so much more than that. It is an emotional moving read with amazing characters. Through excerpts from Conor's Life Book, we learn about his life in the British care system. This book addresses the definition of family as Conor has quite the extended family who have raised and influenced him in his short life so far. We also learn of Bernadette's difficult marriage to her husband and how it has affected her. Bernadette and Anne, Conor's foster parent, desperately search for Conor. This is a book not to be missed.

[Bookread2day · Rating 4 out of 5]

After reading 8 pages in the book of the praise for Louise Beech, I must add that I agree with everyone. Louise has taken extreme care with this rich psychologically novel and with observation. I found that I really cared about the characters. A missing boy. A missing book. A missing husband. A woman who must find them all to find herself. Bernadette's friend Shannon set up a blind date for her. Richard is apparently an equally shy and sensitive friend of Shannon's. The perfect match for Bernadette. But after ten years of marriage Bernadette is planning to leave Richard. He gets angry and rants. He was controlling. Bernadette wonders why her husband has failed to come home. Clues. Did Bernadette miss any? We're there signs that Richard wouldn't come home. Highly recommended!

[Karen · Rating 4 out of 5]

Another emotional good read from Louise Beech

[Tina Woodbury · Rating 4 out of 5]

For all of my reviews: www.readingbetweenthepagesblog.wordpr...

My Rating: 4.5/5
This story opens with Bernadette. Her bags are packed and she is waiting for her husband Richard to come home from work. He’s always home at six, exactly six, but he’s late…so she waits. She is determined to wait and tell him face-to-face that she is leaving him. Her waiting is interrupted by a phone call from Anne.

“He didn’t come home,” says Anne, tearful.

For a moment Bernadette wonders how she knows. It isn’t possible. Anne has never met Richard. The women have become close recently and despite not being the most forthcoming person, Bernadette opened up once about her marriage worries. She didn’t share any specifics but admitted she felt isolated at Tower Rise. It was good to share with someone – a someone completely separate.

“Is he there with you?” asks Anne.

And now Bernadette realizes she doesn’t mean Richard. She’s talking about Conor.
Bernadette puts her desire to tell Richard she is leaving on the back burner and rushes over to Anne’s house. They must work together in order to find and bring Conor back home.

Anne is Conor’s foster mom. Conor is ten years old and has lived in eleven different places, ten of them before the age of six. He loves to draw and paint – it helps to calm him down and is a means of escape for him.

Bernadette is Conor’s BFL (Befriend for Life). BFL is a volunteer organization that pairs a foster child with a police-checked adult. She takes Conor out a couple of times a month to give his foster parent a little break, but more importantly to give Conor one-on-one time, where the total focus is on him. No matter what foster home Conor is in, she is still his BFL, his constant friend for the past five years.

“Conor has been like my child,” says Bernadette.

“I know,” says Anne. “He belongs to everyone and no one. That’s why I’ve always fostered children, rather than adopting one. I don’t want to make them mine, I just want to help them find where they really belong, I suppose.”

The story is told from the perspective of Bernadette, Conor, and The Book. The Book is referring to Conor’s Lifebook. It is filled with medical information, social worker updates, important life events, personal letters, and other things that continue to be added until Conor is eighteen. When he turns eighteen the book is his. It’s his history that might otherwise be lost in the foster care system, especially if a child is moved around lot. I loved The Book chapters! I thought it was an extremely unique way of telling us Conor’s story.

I felt that the first half of this story was a bit slow to evolve, but about halfway in I was completely invested in these characters’ lives and read the second half of the book in one sitting. It was an emotional roller coaster. There were a couple of moments when I thought to myself “oh no” and then “oh good.”

Louise Beech has written a story of love, hope, determination, and compassion. She also looks at the institution of family, and what a family really is.

Upon finishing the book I took a deep breath and said, “Wow.” When I realized I did that I knew that was the perfect way to sum up my review…Big Sigh, Wow!

[Jane · Rating 5 out of 5]

I often find when reading another book by an author you have really enjoyed that the second book doesn't quite live up to the expectation. It's certainly not the case with this one. There is such a wonderful simplicity and calmness with the writing, even though the subject matter was at times desperately sad. I believed 100% in the characters. Loved how it all came together at the end. This book had me thinking about it long after I had finished reading it

[Fiona · Rating 5 out of 5]

First book I’ve read by Louise Beech and I’m sure it won’t be the last. The plot is unique, the characters believable and well rounded and I loved the pace.
I wasn’t surprised by the reveals as they came but this didn’t spoil it for me because the strength of the book is in the interrelations between the characters. Your heart just goes out to Conor and all children who suffer in this way.
A very rewarding read.

[Cayla · Rating 4 out of 5]

Somewhere between 4-4.5 on this one. Wonderful writing; heart-wrenching story.