Nobody Likes Fairytale Pirates

The War of Gold and Silver #2

by Elizabeth Gannon

The kidnapping pirates from Travels with a Fairytale Monster get a book of their own …And this time they’re (kind of, almost, maybe) the good guys! Uriah- It’s the pirate’s life for Uriah! Epic sea battles, beautiful women, double-crossing crewmen… Sure everyone hates him, but no other existence would be half as fun! Nicknamed the “Ocean’s Shame” for his duplicitous ways, Uriah has spent his life mastering swordplay and exploring uncharted lands. Until, one day, he ends up on the wrong side of a fight and stumbles across something worth a lot more than a buried chest of gold. Ransom- A losing battle with pirates has left Ransom blind, scarred, and with no memory of her old life. Uriah is the only one she trusts. For five years, she’s been on his “crew,” which mainly means she does all the planning and worrying for her irresponsible captain. When the two of them windup in an unfriendly land, with no ship and no money, they realize they’re going to need someone to swindle. Quick. Luckily, they’ve got a line on a moron with a treasure map. The Plan- Step 1: Don’t kill their annoying client, his put upon wife, or his nightmare of a mother-in-law. …At least not until the annoying client leads them to the lost city he’s searching for. Step 2: Hold the queen’s pesky brother hostage, just in case she’s holding a grudge over the whole “abduction” thing from the last book. Step 3: Avoid all the other pirates and immortal bad guys out to kill them. Step 4: Don’t look into Ransom’s past. Ever. Step 5- Start to see your partner-in-crime in a whole new light. Because, maybe nobody likes fairytale pirates …but that doesn’t mean they can’t fall in love.

Genres: Fantasy, Romance, Pirates, Fairy Tales, Disability, Humor, Adventure

393 pages, ebook

Published March 12, 2016

About the author

Overeducated and underemployed, Elizabeth (“Lizzy”) Gannon lives in Florida with her sister Cassandra Gannon (who is also an author) She enjoys romance novels, comic books, and soap operas.

She has always been the type of person who genuinely votes for the bad guys in movies, TV and video games, and usually can’t stand the hero. Even as a child all of her Barbies were always criminals and/or ninja assassins, but their hair still looked perfect.

She has a very spoiled dog, and is lorded over by the world's most evil cat.

Reviews

[Trina · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.25**

Love everything EG has written. Her sarcasm is beyond funny, it's weird humor at it's finest. No one can read it without smiling, grinning, or laughing like an idiot -only another fellow reader/fan can comprehend. The story is always long and whiny, she'll hound it in till you get it, and even so she'll just say it again.

I picture Uriah as pirate Johnny Dep, with a shaved head and pony tail. Ransom...with 2 eyepatches and multiple jagged scars on her face -ouch. It's not an easy feat, took all my brain cells to work on their images.

[Emilie · Rating 5 out of 5]

I love Ransom and Uraih!

All time favorite characters, in the first book I thought I'd get sick of their back a forth, but I honestly enjoyed every snarky sarcastic conversation they had. I want to be friends with these two! They are both so kick ass. I'd probably read any stories written about their adventures. Thank you Elizabeth for not making cookie cutter characters, fairy tale pirates deserve love too!

[Amy Carlson · Rating 5 out of 5]

I have no idea how it would work, but I would keep reading their story. I'm sure they will show up in the next one (thank you for that E. Gannon), but it's not going to be enough. This is in the pile of books for me to reread to the point I have everything memorized.

[Coyora Dokusho · Rating 5 out of 5]

Super enjoyed it and stayed up far too late reading! Loved/loved/loved!! the characters. Only occasional typos.

[Jasey]

DNF before the end of chapter one for strong language and insinuations that I was uncomfortable with.

[Fibula · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is one of the best stories I've ever read! I think it's Elizabeth Gannon's best novel!

[Ditchwater Sal · Rating 5 out of 5]

I just adored this book from start to finish. Sweet and funny and sad in all the right ways. Can’t wait to read more from this author.

[Gena · Rating 2 out of 5]

The first I've read by this author. I enjoyed the characters, Uriah reminds me of Captain Jack Sparrow. However Ransom was challenging, outward dialogue she came across as a hard hearted bitch, internal dialogue was girly whining. I would have rated this higher ie a 3* as there was witty dialogue but it went on and on for pages and was repeated quite often. It's hard to keep interest when you're reading the same thing over and over. Ryle could have been an interesting side kick but it Uriah and Ransom treated him like a bumbling teenager and yet his age was supposedly older and he'd already had pretty significant losses in his life that were kind of glossed over. So overall I liked the concept but the execution fell a little flat for me.

[Elisa Nocerino · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this book!!! When I finished reading Travels with a fairytale monster I desperately wanted to read more about Uriah and Ransom and luckily I had the chance to do it thanks to this amazing book!! It's the most entertaining one I've ever read; the dialogues are funny and hilarious; the story is unpredictable and it describes epic adventures. Also I 've absolutely fallen in love with the character of Uriah!!! A MUST-READ, HIGHLY RECOMMENDED, especially if you also like modern reinterpretation of fairy-tales.

[Christy Owens · Rating 5 out of 5]

4.5 stars. This was the first Elizabeth Gannon story that I read. I picked it because it sounded like a fun, humorous story and I was not disappointed.
Uriah and Ransom are great characters. Great byplay between them. Wonderful, humorous dialogue throughout the story. Good flow. I particularly liked Uriah. He is such a joyous character, full of life. I don't know why everyone in the story hates him.
Now I need to go back and read the first book of the series. This read fine as a stand alone though.

[Francesca · Rating 5 out of 5]

Pretty awesome, witty, entertaining.
I love the dynamic between Uriah and Ransom:
I simply love Uriah!

[Jessie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Loved it! Ransom and Uriah are so dynamic together. Love to see if the translator gets a book she was so funny.

[Mira Sol · Rating 1 out of 5]

Had to DNF. Honestly there is a lovely little kernel in here but I could not take one more page of their endless endless endless repetitive banter. I get it, they have a similar dry sense of humour. I get it “everybody wants to kill me” Uriah. This book was too long. Could have cut at least 60% of their constant dialogue mixed with endless internal monologues about how much they needed the other person.
I did appreciate that the FMC was not the typical beautiful maiden sort of thing.

I think this book is safe. It was safe to about 40%. No others for either of them on page. She has amnesia so doesn’t remember her past. He probably had a past before he met her but it hasn’t been mentioned at all.

TW: on page threatening of rape, gang rape, death by rape etc as per pirates. Also there is an extremely deranged scene where the villains kill someone and then allow one of their number to rape her dead body and cum on her dead bloodied face. It’s disgusting.

[Michelle Waldman · Rating 5 out of 5]

Love!

I’ve read a lot of the authors sisters books and decided to hop on over here and check out Elizabeth. I’m so glad I did.. I couldn’t put this book down! I read Uriah and Ransom in the previous book and was highly entertained by them and the moments you see that when it comes to Ransom, just how much he really cares for her. Well, this book was hilarious w/great banter and side characters, sweet, action-packed, shmexy. I especially love love loooved their unbreakable bond with each other, it just made my heart happy and warm. It had its emotional moments during some vulnerable times for the MMCs and it was just brilliantly written. I def put this up there in my top fave reads.

[Laura Spaeth · Rating 5 out of 5]

Laugh out Loud Epic Adventure/Romance/Fairytale

This is my fave book of the author’s so far (and my fave series). It totally outshines the first in the series, but to be fair nothing was going to be able to hold a flame to Uriah and Rance.

Super clever humor/banter/dialogue that will probably make you snort out loud several times an hour, making your family look up at you in unison and/or frustration. Worth it!

Also, to the author: THANK YOU for the Harry Potter reference, I almost peed myself laughing in surprise and delight.

[Your Highness · Rating 2 out of 5]

I dnf'd it when a ritualistic necrophilia scene occurred & the victim was described as sliding across the floor from "the force of the penetration" which was simply too absurd for me at the late hour at which I was reading this (20%) but tbh, I was just waiting for a reason to stop reading bc all the banter was starting to make me crazy.

[Alice · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book could have been fantastic if it had some proper editting!!! It needed to be 150 pages shorter, and to have some different adjectives- using the word "deadpan" 29 times in one book feels excessive.

[bookgirlie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Elizabeth just never disappoints 🤷‍♀️

[Sheri M · Rating 5 out of 5]

My first book by EG and definitely won't be my last. She writes action really, really well and made me laugh out loud many times.

[M · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was just lovely. A solid plot with solid characters and a very nice setting. I definitely plan on reading more books in the series.

[Polly · Rating 4 out of 5]

The characters in this book have amazing chemistry and some of the best dialog I have ever personally encountered. I also had the great surprise of having encountered a twist that I did not see coming in this book. The author in the beginning of the book dropped many hints that "Ransom" was in actuality another benevolent character in the book but in the end turns out to be the character who killed the benevolent character previously mentioned. Which made me really happy because when one looks at the soul of the character of "Ransom" she is not some benevolent martyr and that's perfectly fine. In fact this is the kind of trend that I would like to see catch on in the romantic amnesiac genre. I am sick to death of finding out that the pretty little protagonist with amnesia is actually some severely abused little saint at the end of the book.
This book did however still have my pet peeves of misspellings abound, which drops the rating down from 5 star to 4.

[Gnome Claire *Wishes she was as cool as Gnome Ann* · Rating 3 out of 5]

I enjoyed this, it was really funny and the characters were unusual and fun. It was a bit slow going at times but at others it was absolutely hilarious.

I do wish that I'd read Travels with a Fairytale MonsterTravels with a Fairytale Monster first, they're set in the same world and while I did still enjoy it and followed the plot easily there were times when I felt like I was missing something.

This was a very adult content book- murder, rape and torture are discussed really casually and the characters attitude to violence is disturbing. It was funny at times but at other times not so much, but that's a personal sense of humour thing though but do be aware before you read.

[Jamie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great

I love the author and her sister's work! When they put something out it is a MUST READ! Thank you for the entertainment

[Sony · Rating 4 out of 5]

Over the top love story with a pure irreverence that makes if great.

[Sorhija · Rating 5 out of 5]

A funny gread read :))