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Look Past
Someone brutally murdered Mary Mathison, daughter of a prominent and very conservative local pastor. Whoever it was is now taunting Avery, a transgender boy, with disturbing messages, claiming that Mary’s murder was revenge for her relationship with Avery. The killer’s demands are simple and horrific: Avery must repent for changing his gender identity, or he will be the next one killed.
Can Avery deny who he is to catch Mary’s killer? Or will sacrificing himself be the ultimate betrayal?
Can Avery deny who he is to catch Mary’s killer? Or will sacrificing himself be the ultimate betrayal?
288 pages, Hardcover
First published October 4, 2016
15 people are currently reading
1601 people want to read
About the author
Eric Devine
6 books175 followersAuthor of fearless fiction: One in Ten (4/21/20), Look Past, Press Play, Dare Me, Tap Out.
English teacher, husband, and father of two girls.
English teacher, husband, and father of two girls.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 60 reviews
June 23, 2022
HAPPY PRIDE MONTH!!
wow, that was fast - we went from having very few books about transgender teens available on the market to having a bunch all at once, and we've already reached the point where we can have a book with a trans protagonist where the main focus of the book is not on his trans status, but on the murder of a girl he once loved.
even more important is the fact that he's pretty unlikeable. it's a big "win" for representation when the "outsider" character is not some saint written to make bigots sympathetic, to show "they're just like you!" but one who's kind of an asshole. again, just like you!
it's a similar development, on the gender identity/sexual orientation spectrum, to what happened way back in the olden days, when it was taboo to write openly gay male characters* - when they were all "confirmed bachelors," and everything was handled through subtext and code and you'd have these caricatures of quippy uncles or well-dressed gentlemen. and then the world got more accepting and there were more and more openly gay characters, but they were supporting cast, benevolent, written with kid gloves. but now? now gay characters are just as villainous as straight folk:
it was a wonderful development when gay characters could be as flawed as any other human without fear of offense - this is true equality.
the kid in this book has a long way to go before he reaches villain status, but the book is impressive for presenting a trans male lead without making him stoically long-suffering in the face of his challenges, or even sympathetic.
because some teenagers, regardless of gender identity, sexual orientation, race, religion, whatever - some teenagers are just unpleasant.
it's also impressive that this is a murder mystery instead of a story about avery's transition. his identity plays into the situation in a major way, but this could have been written (although less dramatically) without avery being trans.
basic plot - avery is seventeen years old and has known he was a boy since the third grade. despite living in a small town with a very traditional-christian-values core, he's doing all right - he's been undergoing testosterone therapy since middle school, his parents and younger brother are supportive, he has a best friend and a girlfriend, as well as the memory of his brief romantic moment with mary, the reverend's daughter; a moment he has never gotten over nor was able to repeat, since her father caught them and was most displeased. it's not all rosy - he suffers douchey taunts from some of his classmates and many of the churchgoing folks, including mary's father, find his transition sinful, but he's got his people, and he's getting by.
until mary turns up murdered and mutilated in the woods nearby and the killer is blaming avery for what they've done, and promising more violence if their demands are not met, demands which threaten avery's entire identity.
if it sounds like a weird preoccupation for a murderer to have, it is, but this is less a realistic murder mystery and more an exploration of the philosophical quandary between conviction vs. sacrifice, weighing the demands of self against the safety of others, and personal freedoms threatened by terrorists. but, like The Picture of Dorian Gray's cheeky sexuality, that's all subtext. it is absolutely a murder mystery, with resolution and everything.
but it's a bit wobbly. the fact that it's a mystery with this personal conflict wrapped around it means that some of the traditional mystery elements seem off. the killer's demands, with a seemingly trivial "win" for them, but a deep psychological cost to avery, factors into this, the police are less competent than they should be, and avery and charlie (with half a semester of forensics class under their belts) are allowed more access than is typical in an investigation.it frequently reads less as a thriller and more like a problem novel, where a protagonist is at a crossroads and forced to make a difficult decision that goes against their own code.
and while you want to root for the hero, because that's what books are for, and because it's great to have trans literature out there for younger readers, avery doesn't make it easy. because while it might be down to a testosterone imbalance that needs to be addressed, avery is wicked violent, and i don't think readers would applaud some of his actions if the character wasn't trans.
i understand being a teenager and lashing out, especially a teenager who's had to fight a frequently hostile community for the right to be himself, and having a chip on his shoulder because of it. and that excuses some of avery's actions:
commanding the police to remove a bigoted officer from his presence - which, yeah, officer wright is a dick who refused to use the correct pronouns and whose religion considers avery an abomination, but from his perspective, here are these kids compromising the crime scene where his reverend's daughter was murdered, and avery is now making demands of the police, so it's disrespectful on both sides, and even though you don't want to make excuses for the bigoted zealot, avery's imperious posturing is unappealing.
but worse than that is all the violence bubbling up in avery. not only does he drive aggressively and angrily, punching the steering wheel, scaring his girlfriend beth, but he has more troubling thoughts towards her:
My vision is reduced to a white-hot tunnel, and at the end is Beth. I want to hit her. I want to lash out in some way to hurt her as much as that statement hurt me.
even though her statement was more or less accurate.
and towards his mother:
in spite of how helpful she's being, how much I know this hurts her, I want to hit her for how thrilled she sounded over her achievement with my hair.
and towards a female classmate, he is:
fully prepared to punch her in the face
the same classmate he actually did assault earlier:
…I feel an urge to hurt her. I shove her back, away from me. "Fuck you!" I scream.
and then he kicks the police officer (not the bigot) who tries to pull him off of her and continues to scream insults and call her a bitch.
he also punches a kid at school and head-butts a clerk at the verizon store, toppling him on his ass - His body thwacks with a density that makes me smile.
it just feels a little icky to root for a dude who's fantasizing about hitting women, especially his mother. which, i suppose, opens a dialogue about all manner of gender and violence and behavior and nature and nurture and hormones and all of that, but for me - not a fan of avery.
but the book itself is mostly good - i liked the relationship between avery and his parents - the ease of his dad calling him "buddy," (although avery is NOT a fan of his mom calling him "honey," which elicits a scowl from him, despite his mom being comfortable with his transition and "honey" being a non gender-specific term of endearment from all mothers everywhere), and his thirteen-year-old brother is wonderfully wise:
"You're you, and if people give you shit for that, that's on them…Maybe I'm just used to things, but isn't that kind of the point? Things are only weird if you don't understand them. Really, if you don't try."
so, while i didn't love-love the story, it's definitely a step in the right direction - putting trans characters at the forefront and not making it all about the physical or psychological elements of transitioning. you don't have to love a character to applaud a book.
* lesbian characters in literature had a different evolution because of pulp-noir and pornography and how all women have pillow fights that turn sexxy and that's both titillating and just a phase, but two dudes is icky. sez history, not me.
come to my blog!
wow, that was fast - we went from having very few books about transgender teens available on the market to having a bunch all at once, and we've already reached the point where we can have a book with a trans protagonist where the main focus of the book is not on his trans status, but on the murder of a girl he once loved.
even more important is the fact that he's pretty unlikeable. it's a big "win" for representation when the "outsider" character is not some saint written to make bigots sympathetic, to show "they're just like you!" but one who's kind of an asshole. again, just like you!
it's a similar development, on the gender identity/sexual orientation spectrum, to what happened way back in the olden days, when it was taboo to write openly gay male characters* - when they were all "confirmed bachelors," and everything was handled through subtext and code and you'd have these caricatures of quippy uncles or well-dressed gentlemen. and then the world got more accepting and there were more and more openly gay characters, but they were supporting cast, benevolent, written with kid gloves. but now? now gay characters are just as villainous as straight folk:
it was a wonderful development when gay characters could be as flawed as any other human without fear of offense - this is true equality.
the kid in this book has a long way to go before he reaches villain status, but the book is impressive for presenting a trans male lead without making him stoically long-suffering in the face of his challenges, or even sympathetic.
because some teenagers, regardless of gender identity, sexual orientation, race, religion, whatever - some teenagers are just unpleasant.
it's also impressive that this is a murder mystery instead of a story about avery's transition. his identity plays into the situation in a major way, but this could have been written (although less dramatically) without avery being trans.
basic plot - avery is seventeen years old and has known he was a boy since the third grade. despite living in a small town with a very traditional-christian-values core, he's doing all right - he's been undergoing testosterone therapy since middle school, his parents and younger brother are supportive, he has a best friend and a girlfriend, as well as the memory of his brief romantic moment with mary, the reverend's daughter; a moment he has never gotten over nor was able to repeat, since her father caught them and was most displeased. it's not all rosy - he suffers douchey taunts from some of his classmates and many of the churchgoing folks, including mary's father, find his transition sinful, but he's got his people, and he's getting by.
until mary turns up murdered and mutilated in the woods nearby and the killer is blaming avery for what they've done, and promising more violence if their demands are not met, demands which threaten avery's entire identity.
if it sounds like a weird preoccupation for a murderer to have, it is, but this is less a realistic murder mystery and more an exploration of the philosophical quandary between conviction vs. sacrifice, weighing the demands of self against the safety of others, and personal freedoms threatened by terrorists. but, like The Picture of Dorian Gray's cheeky sexuality, that's all subtext. it is absolutely a murder mystery, with resolution and everything.
but it's a bit wobbly. the fact that it's a mystery with this personal conflict wrapped around it means that some of the traditional mystery elements seem off. the killer's demands, with a seemingly trivial "win" for them, but a deep psychological cost to avery, factors into this, the police are less competent than they should be, and avery and charlie (with half a semester of forensics class under their belts) are allowed more access than is typical in an investigation.it frequently reads less as a thriller and more like a problem novel, where a protagonist is at a crossroads and forced to make a difficult decision that goes against their own code.
and while you want to root for the hero, because that's what books are for, and because it's great to have trans literature out there for younger readers, avery doesn't make it easy. because while it might be down to a testosterone imbalance that needs to be addressed, avery is wicked violent, and i don't think readers would applaud some of his actions if the character wasn't trans.
i understand being a teenager and lashing out, especially a teenager who's had to fight a frequently hostile community for the right to be himself, and having a chip on his shoulder because of it. and that excuses some of avery's actions:
commanding the police to remove a bigoted officer from his presence - which, yeah, officer wright is a dick who refused to use the correct pronouns and whose religion considers avery an abomination, but from his perspective, here are these kids compromising the crime scene where his reverend's daughter was murdered, and avery is now making demands of the police, so it's disrespectful on both sides, and even though you don't want to make excuses for the bigoted zealot, avery's imperious posturing is unappealing.
but worse than that is all the violence bubbling up in avery. not only does he drive aggressively and angrily, punching the steering wheel, scaring his girlfriend beth, but he has more troubling thoughts towards her:
My vision is reduced to a white-hot tunnel, and at the end is Beth. I want to hit her. I want to lash out in some way to hurt her as much as that statement hurt me.
even though her statement was more or less accurate.
and towards his mother:
in spite of how helpful she's being, how much I know this hurts her, I want to hit her for how thrilled she sounded over her achievement with my hair.
and towards a female classmate, he is:
fully prepared to punch her in the face
the same classmate he actually did assault earlier:
…I feel an urge to hurt her. I shove her back, away from me. "Fuck you!" I scream.
and then he kicks the police officer (not the bigot) who tries to pull him off of her and continues to scream insults and call her a bitch.
he also punches a kid at school and head-butts a clerk at the verizon store, toppling him on his ass - His body thwacks with a density that makes me smile.
it just feels a little icky to root for a dude who's fantasizing about hitting women, especially his mother. which, i suppose, opens a dialogue about all manner of gender and violence and behavior and nature and nurture and hormones and all of that, but for me - not a fan of avery.
but the book itself is mostly good - i liked the relationship between avery and his parents - the ease of his dad calling him "buddy," (although avery is NOT a fan of his mom calling him "honey," which elicits a scowl from him, despite his mom being comfortable with his transition and "honey" being a non gender-specific term of endearment from all mothers everywhere), and his thirteen-year-old brother is wonderfully wise:
"You're you, and if people give you shit for that, that's on them…Maybe I'm just used to things, but isn't that kind of the point? Things are only weird if you don't understand them. Really, if you don't try."
so, while i didn't love-love the story, it's definitely a step in the right direction - putting trans characters at the forefront and not making it all about the physical or psychological elements of transitioning. you don't have to love a character to applaud a book.
* lesbian characters in literature had a different evolution because of pulp-noir and pornography and how all women have pillow fights that turn sexxy and that's both titillating and just a phase, but two dudes is icky. sez history, not me.
come to my blog!
January 11, 2018
A copy of this novel was provided by Running Press for review via Net Galley.
Disclaimer: I’m cis, and the main character in this book is trans. I encourage you to find reviews from trans readers in addition to reading my review of this title.
I have … complicated thoughts on Look Past. On the one hand, the fact that it’s a queer mystery/thriller YA is incredibly exciting. On the other, I wasn’t the biggest fan of quite a few aspects – some of which were just passing things, and some of which were main themes in the book. So I guess I will elaborate on those, because even though I appreciate the fact that this is a mystery/thriller with a trans MC, which is so freaking important, and that I wanted to read on to find out everything … Look Past wasn’t the most enjoyable book for me.
1) The characters were quite violent
And I don’t mean the murders, because that is to be expected. I mean Avery and Avery’s girlfriend (who I have forgotten the name of). Example: Avery drives around really fast with his girlfriend in the seat beside him. She asks him to slow down a few times, and then when he does stop the car and they get out, she punches him so hard he falls to the ground, and then she kicks his leg so hard she breaks his phone screen. I get that being in a car with someone driving recklessly is scary. But resorting to violence to demonstrate your unhappiness and fright at that is so 100% not okay.
Another example: this total douche says something really awful to Avery, and Avery jumps on him. Bullying is shit and horrible and no one should have to go through it. But I am also not on board for punching someone whenever they say something that hurts you. Avery’s mother actually kinda congratulated him on it, too, which was a bit unbelievable and uncomfortable.
So yeah. I wasn’t on board with the casual violence from the characters in Look Past.
2) A queer youth group facilitator would never ask the attendees to sympathise with allocishet people
Avery goes to a queer youth group in the novel (which is great, because these are actual things that queer young people attend, and the lack of them in YA novels is ridiculous), and the topic of image and society’s expectations came up. The facilitator then asked the group to think of how these things affect allocishet people, too. Yeah ... no. No way in hell. I think you’d be hard pressed to find a facilitator who would ask queer young people to take into consideration the trials and tribulations of allocishet people. It just wouldn’t happen.
3) The religious aspect was somewhat cliché
A lot of mystery/thrillers can have a religious element, but I almost feel as if it’s been done too many times. I think that focussing on religion as the driving force for murder/torture/stalking/harassment etc. would have to be really well done for it to bring something new to the table. And I just didn’t feel like Look Past was incredibly different to other “murdering religious fanatic” storylines that I have seen and read in the past.
4) The targeting of Avery
I don’t really know if I was comfortable with the fact that all of the bad things happened in Look Past because Avery is trans. I’m not oblivious to the issues that the trans community faces, but I don’t know whether or not using Avery’s gender identity as the trigger for the murder of the love of his life was very tactful. It kind of felt to me like it sent a message of “shit will happen to you and the people you love because you're trans”. Which I didn’t like. At all.
5) Some things felt very … ‘cis writer writing a trans character’
There was just an essential feeling of this throughout the novel. To me, there were a few scenes where I felt quite uncomfortable with how things were written. For example, the reader finds out Avery is trans because someone attacks him in an incredibly transphobic way. I don’t feel like this was the most sensitive or respectful way to introduce Avery as a trans character.
Overall, I was mostly disappointed with Look Past. I can appreciate the story in general, and the fact that this is the first YA mystery/thriller that I’ve read with a trans main character. However, there were a few too many things that stuck out at me as negative and somewhat problematic for me to really enjoy it.
© 2016, Chiara @ Books for a Delicate Eternity . All rights reserved.
trigger warning: transphobia and trans antagonism, physical assault, bullying, domestic violence, murder, suicide themes, and police brutality in this novel
Disclaimer: I’m cis, and the main character in this book is trans. I encourage you to find reviews from trans readers in addition to reading my review of this title.
I have … complicated thoughts on Look Past. On the one hand, the fact that it’s a queer mystery/thriller YA is incredibly exciting. On the other, I wasn’t the biggest fan of quite a few aspects – some of which were just passing things, and some of which were main themes in the book. So I guess I will elaborate on those, because even though I appreciate the fact that this is a mystery/thriller with a trans MC, which is so freaking important, and that I wanted to read on to find out everything … Look Past wasn’t the most enjoyable book for me.
1) The characters were quite violent
And I don’t mean the murders, because that is to be expected. I mean Avery and Avery’s girlfriend (who I have forgotten the name of). Example: Avery drives around really fast with his girlfriend in the seat beside him. She asks him to slow down a few times, and then when he does stop the car and they get out, she punches him so hard he falls to the ground, and then she kicks his leg so hard she breaks his phone screen. I get that being in a car with someone driving recklessly is scary. But resorting to violence to demonstrate your unhappiness and fright at that is so 100% not okay.
Another example: this total douche says something really awful to Avery, and Avery jumps on him. Bullying is shit and horrible and no one should have to go through it. But I am also not on board for punching someone whenever they say something that hurts you. Avery’s mother actually kinda congratulated him on it, too, which was a bit unbelievable and uncomfortable.
So yeah. I wasn’t on board with the casual violence from the characters in Look Past.
2) A queer youth group facilitator would never ask the attendees to sympathise with allocishet people
Avery goes to a queer youth group in the novel (which is great, because these are actual things that queer young people attend, and the lack of them in YA novels is ridiculous), and the topic of image and society’s expectations came up. The facilitator then asked the group to think of how these things affect allocishet people, too. Yeah ... no. No way in hell. I think you’d be hard pressed to find a facilitator who would ask queer young people to take into consideration the trials and tribulations of allocishet people. It just wouldn’t happen.
3) The religious aspect was somewhat cliché
A lot of mystery/thrillers can have a religious element, but I almost feel as if it’s been done too many times. I think that focussing on religion as the driving force for murder/torture/stalking/harassment etc. would have to be really well done for it to bring something new to the table. And I just didn’t feel like Look Past was incredibly different to other “murdering religious fanatic” storylines that I have seen and read in the past.
4) The targeting of Avery
I don’t really know if I was comfortable with the fact that all of the bad things happened in Look Past because Avery is trans. I’m not oblivious to the issues that the trans community faces, but I don’t know whether or not using Avery’s gender identity as the trigger for the murder of the love of his life was very tactful. It kind of felt to me like it sent a message of “shit will happen to you and the people you love because you're trans”. Which I didn’t like. At all.
5) Some things felt very … ‘cis writer writing a trans character’
There was just an essential feeling of this throughout the novel. To me, there were a few scenes where I felt quite uncomfortable with how things were written. For example, the reader finds out Avery is trans because someone attacks him in an incredibly transphobic way. I don’t feel like this was the most sensitive or respectful way to introduce Avery as a trans character.
~
Overall, I was mostly disappointed with Look Past. I can appreciate the story in general, and the fact that this is the first YA mystery/thriller that I’ve read with a trans main character. However, there were a few too many things that stuck out at me as negative and somewhat problematic for me to really enjoy it.
© 2016, Chiara @ Books for a Delicate Eternity . All rights reserved.
trigger warning: transphobia and trans antagonism, physical assault, bullying, domestic violence, murder, suicide themes, and police brutality in this novel
May 3, 2016
This read had me feeling a range of emotions; from heartache to anger to pride. Avery was born in the wrong body and has always identified as a male. That in itself is already hard to deal with as people and his peers are constantly giving him grief and calling him all sorts of things from freak to queer but now he also has to deal with an unforeseen tragedy that has everyone reeling.
This author's gripping tale of lost love, tragedy, bigotry and acceptance captured me from the very beginning with a beautifully written story line and characters that draw you in. As the mother of a teenager that identifies as a female I highly recommend this to everyone and thank the author for this well written book.
{I received an eARC via NetGalley.}
This author's gripping tale of lost love, tragedy, bigotry and acceptance captured me from the very beginning with a beautifully written story line and characters that draw you in. As the mother of a teenager that identifies as a female I highly recommend this to everyone and thank the author for this well written book.
{I received an eARC via NetGalley.}
March 30, 2017
"There's a difference between tolerance and acceptance. "
This is a 3 star mystery wrapped in a well-done portrayal of a transgender kid in high school. This book gets an extra star just for doing such a good job of encompassing the awful side of high school.
I love that Avery is a fiery, fierce, reckless kid. That the murder fills him with horror and fear of the but the texts make him want to protect and provoke everyone. I hate what he goes through, I hate how much it broke my heart but I love that Avery was more than just transgender. He was complex and flawed and I love that he knew who he was - this was never about him transitioning but all about the murder and mystery.
But I had hoped the murder mystery would have more complexity than it did. Those filled with hate have a great ability to hide.
This is a 3 star mystery wrapped in a well-done portrayal of a transgender kid in high school. This book gets an extra star just for doing such a good job of encompassing the awful side of high school.
I love that Avery is a fiery, fierce, reckless kid. That the murder fills him with horror and fear of the but the texts make him want to protect and provoke everyone. I hate what he goes through, I hate how much it broke my heart but I love that Avery was more than just transgender. He was complex and flawed and I love that he knew who he was - this was never about him transitioning but all about the murder and mystery.
But I had hoped the murder mystery would have more complexity than it did. Those filled with hate have a great ability to hide.
February 6, 2017
So a disclaimer before I start this review: I am not trans, so please take my opinions on this book with a grain of salt. I don't know if trans reviewers have reviewed this, but definitely check out their opinions over mine.
I do think this book was quite good, though. While Avery being trans was undoubtedly a large part of the story, the whole plot could have been done with another issue in place. Because this isn't a book about being trans. It's a murder mystery first and foremost, and I think it was written rather well. I was on the edge of my seat reading and after reading this and Gone Girl, I really want to pick up more thrillers. Because this was tense and so atmospheric - it had the small, suffocating town feeling and as the novel went on and the stakes got higher it really felt like the entire town was closing in on Avery and his family.
Another positive: Avery's character. His voice was incredibly well-written and unique. He was also very fleshed out. Avery's incredibly caring towards a select amount of close family and friends. He wants to protect them. He has a lot of anger and he can be violent at times, even to the people he cares about - it's understandable, though, because Avery gets a lot of shit thrown at him both before and during the events of the story. Another thing I appreciated: he's not a saint or a mouthpiece for trans people and this book isn't didactic at all, which is a nice change from "issue novels" about trans teenagers. Avery's written on the antihero side of main characters.
I feel like Devine did his research with trans teenage boys, because I don't think that he used harmful language. Avery is comfortable and supported in his transition by his family and friends, and he's as comfortable with himself as he can be. The one part I feel that Devine could have done without that might be uncomfortable is
All in all: quite good and made me excited about thrillers.
I do think this book was quite good, though. While Avery being trans was undoubtedly a large part of the story, the whole plot could have been done with another issue in place. Because this isn't a book about being trans. It's a murder mystery first and foremost, and I think it was written rather well. I was on the edge of my seat reading and after reading this and Gone Girl, I really want to pick up more thrillers. Because this was tense and so atmospheric - it had the small, suffocating town feeling and as the novel went on and the stakes got higher it really felt like the entire town was closing in on Avery and his family.
Another positive: Avery's character. His voice was incredibly well-written and unique. He was also very fleshed out. Avery's incredibly caring towards a select amount of close family and friends. He wants to protect them. He has a lot of anger and he can be violent at times, even to the people he cares about - it's understandable, though, because Avery gets a lot of shit thrown at him both before and during the events of the story. Another thing I appreciated: he's not a saint or a mouthpiece for trans people and this book isn't didactic at all, which is a nice change from "issue novels" about trans teenagers. Avery's written on the antihero side of main characters.
I feel like Devine did his research with trans teenage boys, because I don't think that he used harmful language. Avery is comfortable and supported in his transition by his family and friends, and he's as comfortable with himself as he can be. The one part I feel that Devine could have done without that might be uncomfortable is
All in all: quite good and made me excited about thrillers.
September 27, 2016
2.5 on the blog.
I loved Devine's book Press Play. I believe I gave it 5 stars. Therefore, I was ready for this story to hit it out of the ballpark, too, and the first half of the book was doing just that.
At 49% the ineptness of the police was ridiculous. People with no law enforcement training would have done a better job. Plus a lot of improbable events and situations started happening at the MC's home and school. The author also had a disconnect when it came to Protestant religion. He had them doing Catholic rituals.
I thought, at this point, my rating would still be three stars, but the last 20% of the book was so cheesy and melodramatic it killed it all for me. The MC was transgender, so the story falling apart was a shame. I was genuinely disappointed.
I was approved for an eARC, via Netgalley, in return for an honest review. I will not be reviewing this book on my blog because it is under four stars.
I loved Devine's book Press Play. I believe I gave it 5 stars. Therefore, I was ready for this story to hit it out of the ballpark, too, and the first half of the book was doing just that.
At 49% the ineptness of the police was ridiculous. People with no law enforcement training would have done a better job. Plus a lot of improbable events and situations started happening at the MC's home and school. The author also had a disconnect when it came to Protestant religion. He had them doing Catholic rituals.
I thought, at this point, my rating would still be three stars, but the last 20% of the book was so cheesy and melodramatic it killed it all for me. The MC was transgender, so the story falling apart was a shame. I was genuinely disappointed.
I was approved for an eARC, via Netgalley, in return for an honest review. I will not be reviewing this book on my blog because it is under four stars.
August 24, 2019
Did not like this as much as many of my friends. I think I had a bit of problem with intended audience. It is listed as young adult, but was a bit gruesome, plus the message needs to be addressed to older adults, most teens already accept transgender people
June 19, 2023
This was a young adult murder mystery with a main character who is transgender. Although this novel is young adult, there is a lot of violence and the book is not for the faint of heart. The book deals with a lot of issues that I think high schoolers can relate to and that is one of the reasons why I gave this book 4 stars. Throughout the novel I was constantly on my toes as to who the potential killer could be. I really felt for the main character even though the character was not the most likable. Overall, this novel had an edge that I think many people would enjoy.
August 25, 2019
This was another surprise book that snuck up on me. Another in the pile of me trying to find comp titles for my own book for query (this one wasn’t a fit), I started reading it and wasn’t that into it, but eventually I found myself devouring it. The voice was less of a draw than what was actually going on in the plot and it was the plot that really kept driving me forward. I wanted to know what happened.
I think LOOK PAST might be the first book I’ve read from a transgendered individual’s POV and it definitely provides a different perspective on life, that’s for sure. Not being well-versed in this area, I can’t tell you how authentic the voice is, or how authentic it is against someone who’s writing #ownvoices, which this book is not. It felt authentic. I felt Avery’s emotions and how he struggled, how something as seemingly small as his uncle calling him his nephew is so big to him. I just didn’t quite grasp why putting on a dress was so monumentally triggering for him, and that’s on me. It didn’t take me out of the story at all, but I kept searching for reasons within the text to help me understand why this was such an issue. I think it has to do with the heinous amount of pressure that’s put on Avery to be “normal” and to be a girl when he’s not. He’s doing everything in his power to take control of his identity and move it away from what everyone else wants him to be. He gets support in all the right places, but there’s a far greater lack of it outside of that close circle. So to effectively undo the strides he’s taken to claim his true identity, to succumb to the will of an irate mob that wants him to fit into a particular mold and will still think him a freak anyway, to force him to be truly uncomfortable in his skin and in his life, that makes sense to me as to why the simple act of putting on a dress wasn’t so simple.
I can see how some people would read this book and think it’s too extreme or that things like this don’t happen, but it felt painfully realistic to me and it feels like sects of these non-denominational bible churches keep growing (or I’m more aware of them because they’re not that common in New England but they are everywhere else). They’re more concerned with being CHRISTIAN than being Christ-like and the extent they’ll go to force their will on others is abhorrent. Not to mention the statistics on violence against transgendered people, especially transgendered people of color, simply for being who they are. LOOK PAST did not feel so fictionalized as to be completely out of reach. Unfortunately it felt all too real and I think that’s one of the reasons why this book really hit home for me. This is a ripped from the headlines type of book.
The ending both provided a lot of closure and had me going meh. I think the book needed the type of ending it provided just to provide some light at the end of the tunnel. Otherwise it would have been dark as hell. Although, I’m more inclined to think that, in reality, it would not have ended the way it did. Don’t get me wrong, death can open people’s eyes. But it can also shut them tighter too.
Overall LOOK PAST is a good, engaging read. It was hard to put down and I basically swallowed it in maybe three days. A compelling thriller and a brutal, gut-wrenching look into the life of someone I don’t think enough of us get exposure to.
4.5
I think LOOK PAST might be the first book I’ve read from a transgendered individual’s POV and it definitely provides a different perspective on life, that’s for sure. Not being well-versed in this area, I can’t tell you how authentic the voice is, or how authentic it is against someone who’s writing #ownvoices, which this book is not. It felt authentic. I felt Avery’s emotions and how he struggled, how something as seemingly small as his uncle calling him his nephew is so big to him. I just didn’t quite grasp why putting on a dress was so monumentally triggering for him, and that’s on me. It didn’t take me out of the story at all, but I kept searching for reasons within the text to help me understand why this was such an issue. I think it has to do with the heinous amount of pressure that’s put on Avery to be “normal” and to be a girl when he’s not. He’s doing everything in his power to take control of his identity and move it away from what everyone else wants him to be. He gets support in all the right places, but there’s a far greater lack of it outside of that close circle. So to effectively undo the strides he’s taken to claim his true identity, to succumb to the will of an irate mob that wants him to fit into a particular mold and will still think him a freak anyway, to force him to be truly uncomfortable in his skin and in his life, that makes sense to me as to why the simple act of putting on a dress wasn’t so simple.
I can see how some people would read this book and think it’s too extreme or that things like this don’t happen, but it felt painfully realistic to me and it feels like sects of these non-denominational bible churches keep growing (or I’m more aware of them because they’re not that common in New England but they are everywhere else). They’re more concerned with being CHRISTIAN than being Christ-like and the extent they’ll go to force their will on others is abhorrent. Not to mention the statistics on violence against transgendered people, especially transgendered people of color, simply for being who they are. LOOK PAST did not feel so fictionalized as to be completely out of reach. Unfortunately it felt all too real and I think that’s one of the reasons why this book really hit home for me. This is a ripped from the headlines type of book.
The ending both provided a lot of closure and had me going meh. I think the book needed the type of ending it provided just to provide some light at the end of the tunnel. Otherwise it would have been dark as hell. Although, I’m more inclined to think that, in reality, it would not have ended the way it did. Don’t get me wrong, death can open people’s eyes. But it can also shut them tighter too.
Overall LOOK PAST is a good, engaging read. It was hard to put down and I basically swallowed it in maybe three days. A compelling thriller and a brutal, gut-wrenching look into the life of someone I don’t think enough of us get exposure to.
4.5
June 7, 2016
I received a copy of this book from NetGalley in exchange for my review.
It's tough finding books about transgender or LBGT kids that isn't focused entirely on their gender identity or sexual orientation. That is most likely because it is hard to find a good balance of plot and plot device. We are so much more than our private parts and who we love, so much more than what is most important to those who can't see past us. What I probably enjoyed most was that the whole of this plot focused on the murder of a young girl who chose to love, and that even though there was emphasis on Avery's transition, we learned more of who he was and how hate was never okay more than anything.
Avery is a boy, and he's always known that. Mary was a girl who not only accepted him, but loved him and refused to ever deny the truth of it. Because of that, she was murdered and dumped into the street, parts of her removed to torture her family with. Avery is caught in the crosshairs of the investigation and what he still feels for Mary.
This story is a riveting read, one full of twists and turns. Though it may seem that the killers are an obvious choice, that isn't the point of this tale. The point is that hatred leads to nothing more than disaster, and that you don't have to agree to be understanding and compassionate. You don't have to agree with religious people to accept them, and they don't have to think everything they don't understand is a sin.
Acceptance should never be considered wrong.
It's tough finding books about transgender or LBGT kids that isn't focused entirely on their gender identity or sexual orientation. That is most likely because it is hard to find a good balance of plot and plot device. We are so much more than our private parts and who we love, so much more than what is most important to those who can't see past us. What I probably enjoyed most was that the whole of this plot focused on the murder of a young girl who chose to love, and that even though there was emphasis on Avery's transition, we learned more of who he was and how hate was never okay more than anything.
Avery is a boy, and he's always known that. Mary was a girl who not only accepted him, but loved him and refused to ever deny the truth of it. Because of that, she was murdered and dumped into the street, parts of her removed to torture her family with. Avery is caught in the crosshairs of the investigation and what he still feels for Mary.
This story is a riveting read, one full of twists and turns. Though it may seem that the killers are an obvious choice, that isn't the point of this tale. The point is that hatred leads to nothing more than disaster, and that you don't have to agree to be understanding and compassionate. You don't have to agree with religious people to accept them, and they don't have to think everything they don't understand is a sin.
Acceptance should never be considered wrong.
October 4, 2018
I feel a bit bad for not liking this book: I think the author did legitimately try. And, for a cis author, he did a pretty good job of presenting some of what it's like to be trans. That's not my issue with the book.
My issue with the book, honestly, is that it just isn't very good. It is at best a mediocre young adult novel, one that is written from the point of view that good writing isn't important to kids. The characters are flat, and the plot...just doesn't seem at all realistic. The murderer's motivations and behavior don't make a whole lot of sense, and the police force's behavior is incompetent and unprofessional, and no one seems to notice.
My issue with the book, honestly, is that it just isn't very good. It is at best a mediocre young adult novel, one that is written from the point of view that good writing isn't important to kids. The characters are flat, and the plot...just doesn't seem at all realistic. The murderer's motivations and behavior don't make a whole lot of sense, and the police force's behavior is incompetent and unprofessional, and no one seems to notice.
July 26, 2016
I want to thank Netgalley and Running Press. I fear I lost the email for this one and don't know if I am supposed to wait on the review. If I step on any toes doing it now I am sorry and will be more careful in the future. I will start by saving the instructions that come with my link!
That said, let's get started. Mary, a beloved daughter of the town reverend and friend to all, has been missing for a week. No one knows anything and it is eating the town alive. Things like this, they just don't happen here- especially not to good Christians. Avery and his girlfriend Beth have joined a search of the woods with his best friend Charlie. Before we go any further there is something you should know. Avery is transgender-meaning he was born a girl, but connects with the world as a man- this is how I see Avery and how I will be doing this review.
Now, Avery and Mary have a past. She was the first to be nice to him and accept him. She loved him, and he loved her back. Loosing Mary hurts deeply, especially since his family and two friends are now the only ones that understand him and accept him for how he is.
When they find Mary, she is dead and has been mutilated. Eyes, ears and lips are gone and there is a bible passage in her mouth about sinners repenting. That same night an unknown number texts Avery, tormenting and threatening him that he will be next. As evidence keeps being brought to the reverend's doorstep (literally), Avery is getting more and more threats from this unknown person. Repent or you are next. This murderer sees Avery as an abomination and affront to God. Become as God made "her" and she may be spared. The demands are ridiculous and sometimes juvenile. Dress like a girl for school, pray for forgiveness. As Avery and his uncle Tom (a cop) puts the clues together along with his friends he has to decide how far he can go to bring the killer out, what he can endure.
This book was seriously twisted to me. I loved the characters- Charlie and Beth especially. Knowing a transgender individual and knowing what he had to endure in his life, I know it isn't easy. There will always be those that do not understand. Those that cannot accept. Those that hate. I did, though, take issue that it seemed in this book to be the entire church community. It casts the religious people in this book in a very unflattering light that, while true for some, is not the norm. I felt like they typecast the church goers a bit, and Avery really. He is strong, opinionated and doesn't always think his actions through; but he has a large heart. Sadly there is also a large chip on those shoulders. Even with these issues, though, I still loved the book and highly recommend it- just be ready for the stereotypes. Four Stars
As far as the Adult Content Scale goes, there is a lot of language, violence and bigotry that may be hard for a younger reader to handle.... I mean, it was seriously hard for me to handle at times and I am an adult. I would recommend it for teens, but only if the parent understands the topics and approves. The hate is hard to stomach.
That said, let's get started. Mary, a beloved daughter of the town reverend and friend to all, has been missing for a week. No one knows anything and it is eating the town alive. Things like this, they just don't happen here- especially not to good Christians. Avery and his girlfriend Beth have joined a search of the woods with his best friend Charlie. Before we go any further there is something you should know. Avery is transgender-meaning he was born a girl, but connects with the world as a man- this is how I see Avery and how I will be doing this review.
Now, Avery and Mary have a past. She was the first to be nice to him and accept him. She loved him, and he loved her back. Loosing Mary hurts deeply, especially since his family and two friends are now the only ones that understand him and accept him for how he is.
When they find Mary, she is dead and has been mutilated. Eyes, ears and lips are gone and there is a bible passage in her mouth about sinners repenting. That same night an unknown number texts Avery, tormenting and threatening him that he will be next. As evidence keeps being brought to the reverend's doorstep (literally), Avery is getting more and more threats from this unknown person. Repent or you are next. This murderer sees Avery as an abomination and affront to God. Become as God made "her" and she may be spared. The demands are ridiculous and sometimes juvenile. Dress like a girl for school, pray for forgiveness. As Avery and his uncle Tom (a cop) puts the clues together along with his friends he has to decide how far he can go to bring the killer out, what he can endure.
This book was seriously twisted to me. I loved the characters- Charlie and Beth especially. Knowing a transgender individual and knowing what he had to endure in his life, I know it isn't easy. There will always be those that do not understand. Those that cannot accept. Those that hate. I did, though, take issue that it seemed in this book to be the entire church community. It casts the religious people in this book in a very unflattering light that, while true for some, is not the norm. I felt like they typecast the church goers a bit, and Avery really. He is strong, opinionated and doesn't always think his actions through; but he has a large heart. Sadly there is also a large chip on those shoulders. Even with these issues, though, I still loved the book and highly recommend it- just be ready for the stereotypes. Four Stars
As far as the Adult Content Scale goes, there is a lot of language, violence and bigotry that may be hard for a younger reader to handle.... I mean, it was seriously hard for me to handle at times and I am an adult. I would recommend it for teens, but only if the parent understands the topics and approves. The hate is hard to stomach.
May 15, 2016
Switching it up and adding more mystery, Devine packs a thriller with contemporary topics like religion and beliefs alongside living transgender in a community that isn't accepting. Avery has received numerous threats during his transition, yet there have been constants with some of his friends. These relationships sustain him, yet it's rocked to the core when at the start, they are searching the woods around their community for one of Avery's friends, Mary. Soon readers learn that Mary's body has been found and now Avery wants to use his forensics skills and new threats that he's receiving to figure out who Mary's killer is.
While the middle dragged just a bit, both the opening and closing of the book are fast-paced, heart-wrenching, and sad and uplifting at the same time for humanity. For teens reading this book, it can certainly allow for introspection on their own thoughts and beliefs and how they both consciously and subconsciously react to situations different from their own, but as an adult, it's just as thoughtful. How can we support? How can we protect? How can we listen? And how can we forgive?
I love all of these emotions in this book and the exhilarating end is worth the wait. It'll definitely be another to be shared and discussed, especially with the intersection of religion. So many teens are looking for stories of GLBTQ characters and religion because that is a topic that everyone has such strong opinions and thoughts on. I would recommend this for those that enjoyed The Less-Dead.
Received a copy through Netgalley.
While the middle dragged just a bit, both the opening and closing of the book are fast-paced, heart-wrenching, and sad and uplifting at the same time for humanity. For teens reading this book, it can certainly allow for introspection on their own thoughts and beliefs and how they both consciously and subconsciously react to situations different from their own, but as an adult, it's just as thoughtful. How can we support? How can we protect? How can we listen? And how can we forgive?
I love all of these emotions in this book and the exhilarating end is worth the wait. It'll definitely be another to be shared and discussed, especially with the intersection of religion. So many teens are looking for stories of GLBTQ characters and religion because that is a topic that everyone has such strong opinions and thoughts on. I would recommend this for those that enjoyed The Less-Dead.
Received a copy through Netgalley.
July 3, 2017
This book could be used in a class to teach how a book can be bad without being noticeably bad. The characters are flatter than boards and act and react due to plotonium, not themselves. We are told Charlie is "odd" over and over again, but I could not give one example of it. Not one. Avery makes incredibly bad decisions while also lauding characters for saying vague things like they were deep. Ughhh. Meanwhile, what denomination are the churchgoers? They have a Reverend, but kneel during services, but also preach hate on a scale of fire and brimstone. Why didn't Avery's parents even contemplate a move to a more liberal area, since he was so young when he transitioned? No, let's keep him in the town with an incredibly hateful congregation! That's what Loving parents do!
Arghhh, this book.
Arghhh, this book.
Want to read
April 15, 2016On the one hand I am always "!!!!" about LGBTQ+ genre fiction but on the other hand this could end up being so horrible and trope-y so... yeah. :/ I'll just have to wait and see, I guess.
November 12, 2016
Please see full review at: http://basicbookblog.com/look-past-by...
This book tells the difficult story of love, loss, grief, and the trauma of being sought out by a deranged killer.
This book tells the difficult story of love, loss, grief, and the trauma of being sought out by a deranged killer.
August 18, 2018
Avey is trans and that the reason why he is being targeted through the murder of someone he loved, Mary Matthison, is for the reason he needs to repent from his transgender condition. He needs to live as a girl again to prevent any more harm. It's graphic, gripping, and leaves you guessing to see which religious nut has committed the ultimate sin: murder (but do the flock think that's the case?)
What I liked about the book is that the main focus wasn't completely on the fact that Avery is trans. His gender identity does play a role in the plot line but the main focus was on the murder of Mary. I also liked the pacing and Avery character to an extent. He wasn't portrayed as the goody trans kid, he has some issues, mainly he harbors angry. Wheather that be at the town that hates him for his very identity save a select few or the beratement from the religious aspect of the town, Avery endures hate and transphobia. What I don't like was that Avery was violent towards people both who he loved and to jackasses..
It was also weird reading about the beginning of the book where we learn Avery is transgender. What I am describing is his prosthetic phallus (aka packer or in this case detachable dick) Unusual way to open up for a character and seems like that is something a little more on the private side of things unless it is explained that Oh, he saw my dick once and now he goes on about it. But I this case it is kinda just in the air.
Overall, I was enthralled with this bit if YA fiction.
What I liked about the book is that the main focus wasn't completely on the fact that Avery is trans. His gender identity does play a role in the plot line but the main focus was on the murder of Mary. I also liked the pacing and Avery character to an extent. He wasn't portrayed as the goody trans kid, he has some issues, mainly he harbors angry. Wheather that be at the town that hates him for his very identity save a select few or the beratement from the religious aspect of the town, Avery endures hate and transphobia. What I don't like was that Avery was violent towards people both who he loved and to jackasses..
It was also weird reading about the beginning of the book where we learn Avery is transgender. What I am describing is his prosthetic phallus (aka packer or in this case detachable dick) Unusual way to open up for a character and seems like that is something a little more on the private side of things unless it is explained that Oh, he saw my dick once and now he goes on about it. But I this case it is kinda just in the air.
Overall, I was enthralled with this bit if YA fiction.
May 26, 2020
I have a philosophy about books depicting minority characters: I don't think what makes them a minority should define them -- it should be a part of them, but it shouldn't be all of them. Unfortunately, I don't think this book followed my philosophy. I felt that the only thing defining Avery Chase was that he was transgender. Yes, being transgender has an enormous impact on your life, but you cannot tell me that that is the ONLY part of your life.
Aside from that, another issue I had with the book was that Avery had no respect for police work at all. How can you just reveal details of a case to the public when you yourself are a target? And how can you do that when your own uncle is on the police force? An uncle that seems to care for you (admittedly, in his own very flawed way)? Everything Avery did in regard to the case frustrated me. I understand why Avery would be so upset about the police work being done, given the situation, but the things Avery did could not be justified at all. Additionally, this book just seemed to idolize murder. What I mean by that is: it seemed like the author just wanted to write about murder, and the rest of the story was an afterthought. I love a good murder mystery, but when the mystery is focused on the murder and not the story surrounding it (like this book), I just can't enjoy it.
Aside from that, another issue I had with the book was that Avery had no respect for police work at all. How can you just reveal details of a case to the public when you yourself are a target? And how can you do that when your own uncle is on the police force? An uncle that seems to care for you (admittedly, in his own very flawed way)? Everything Avery did in regard to the case frustrated me. I understand why Avery would be so upset about the police work being done, given the situation, but the things Avery did could not be justified at all. Additionally, this book just seemed to idolize murder. What I mean by that is: it seemed like the author just wanted to write about murder, and the rest of the story was an afterthought. I love a good murder mystery, but when the mystery is focused on the murder and not the story surrounding it (like this book), I just can't enjoy it.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
August 12, 2018
This book does great things with the topic of being a transgender teenager. Transitioning is not the main plot, but the difficulties that accompany it are present throughout. The main character is flawed and entirely human. If only the rest of the story was as good.
As a mystery it was disappointing. I had one of the killers pegged about 20% through the book and the other was obvious to me much sooner than it dawned on the investigators. I hate it when I can figure out “who done it”.
Overall I just did not enjoy this book. The motivation of the killers was just too far-fetched. Not to say that bigoted hate never leads to murder, but it’s usually heat of the moment not premeditated murder followed by dismemberment. And the portrayal of “the flock” was unrealistic. I don’t know any Christians who act like that. They’re cultish yet still rule the school. At least in my experience, the goody goody Christian kids in high school were not the popular kids. It did not feel true to me. But then I’ve never been a transgender person so perhaps this is an accurate representation of how they feel Christians are.
As a mystery it was disappointing. I had one of the killers pegged about 20% through the book and the other was obvious to me much sooner than it dawned on the investigators. I hate it when I can figure out “who done it”.
Overall I just did not enjoy this book. The motivation of the killers was just too far-fetched. Not to say that bigoted hate never leads to murder, but it’s usually heat of the moment not premeditated murder followed by dismemberment. And the portrayal of “the flock” was unrealistic. I don’t know any Christians who act like that. They’re cultish yet still rule the school. At least in my experience, the goody goody Christian kids in high school were not the popular kids. It did not feel true to me. But then I’ve never been a transgender person so perhaps this is an accurate representation of how they feel Christians are.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
September 24, 2019
General Fiction - Mystery
I just did not like this book.
Avery is a transitioning teen. Her first love is killed and there are indications that she/he may be next if he doesn't see the error of his ways and repent - meaning start acting like a girl, dressing like a girl, etc. Avery's uncle is the lead officer on the case and she and her friend Charlie take forensics, which is the reason they think they should be allowed to be involved in the case. This made me feel like I was reading a Nancy Drew novel and came across as juvenile.
I didn't like the characters of Avery, Beth and Charlie. They don't feel fully drawn. The relationships feel superfluous. The plotting is stereotypical with a LGBTQ teen against religious zealots. And don't get me started on the ending - farfetched!
I did like that there was an lead character that was transgender. I liked the parts of the story where we learn more about Avery and what she went through to get to this point in her transition. I liked the descriptions of Avery's struggles in relationships. But, again, it seemed very surface level.
Just not the book for me.
I just did not like this book.
Avery is a transitioning teen. Her first love is killed and there are indications that she/he may be next if he doesn't see the error of his ways and repent - meaning start acting like a girl, dressing like a girl, etc. Avery's uncle is the lead officer on the case and she and her friend Charlie take forensics, which is the reason they think they should be allowed to be involved in the case. This made me feel like I was reading a Nancy Drew novel and came across as juvenile.
I didn't like the characters of Avery, Beth and Charlie. They don't feel fully drawn. The relationships feel superfluous. The plotting is stereotypical with a LGBTQ teen against religious zealots. And don't get me started on the ending - farfetched!
I did like that there was an lead character that was transgender. I liked the parts of the story where we learn more about Avery and what she went through to get to this point in her transition. I liked the descriptions of Avery's struggles in relationships. But, again, it seemed very surface level.
Just not the book for me.
March 26, 2018
Look Past by Eric Devine is about a girl named Mary, who was murdered. Her friend Avery is devastated and he is determined to find out who her killer is. Because Avery is transgender, the murderer comes after Avery and starts to threaten him. The murdered also threatens Avery’s friends and family. Because of that he is not allowed to see his friends anymore, to keep them safe, which makes it a lot harder for Avery to get through everything and keep motivation to find who killed Mary. His life is in danger but that does not stop him from finding out who killed his friend. Avery will do anything and everything to find out who Mary’s killer is and why they did it. I liked that the author added a lot of detail about how Avery was feeling and what his thoughts were so we could really tell how Avery was feeling and what he was going through. I also liked how they portrayed Avery as Transgender, it added another aspect to the book that most books don’t have. The ending is something i did not like about the book, I thought it was a cliche and basic and i would have liked the murderer to be someone closer to her to add more suspense and mystery to the book. I also thought the book was just repeating itself and the author needed to end it sooner so the book was not dragging on. Overall i think the book was decent and i would recommend it.
January 14, 2022
This was an interesting read for sure! The writing itself was quite good, and I was very hooked the whole time, to the point where I practically couldn't put it down. The books I have read before featuring transgender characters often contained nothing but stereotypes and misinformation, and I'm happy to report that this book did not fall into that category.
The only complaint I have that is preventing me from boosting its rating (and this is where we're going to get into spoiler territory, so please do not continue if you don't wish for things to be spoiled) is the actual killer. I don't know, from my standpoint as a huge fan of murder mystery entertainment, I had already written off the main culprit from my list of suspects because I thought it was too obvious. So come the end of the book and the "big reveal" I was a little disappointed.
Still, I recommend this book if you're looking for an entertaining murder mystery with trans representation, I really enjoyed it :))
The only complaint I have that is preventing me from boosting its rating (and this is where we're going to get into spoiler territory, so please do not continue if you don't wish for things to be spoiled) is the actual killer. I don't know, from my standpoint as a huge fan of murder mystery entertainment, I had already written off the main culprit from my list of suspects because I thought it was too obvious. So come the end of the book and the "big reveal" I was a little disappointed.
Still, I recommend this book if you're looking for an entertaining murder mystery with trans representation, I really enjoyed it :))
May 25, 2017
This book is about Avery, a transgender boy that is singled out for his choices. Mary, the murdered girl that Avery had a relationship with, was the daughter of a pastor. The killer wants Avery to repent for his change in gender and threatens his life. Avery is tasked with being true to himself or denying who he is to avoid threats from the killer. Avery realized early on in life that he was a boy and was supported by his family in his choices regarding his gender. Everyone is not on Avery’s side though and the those that disagree with his choices make their view abundantly clear. Avery is not a perfect character. He us realistic, he -has human flaws and is hard to like at times. This was a good book. I like that Avery is real. He is not just a transgender character. Avery has his good points and his bad points just like a real person.
October 4, 2017
This book was so much better than I thought it was going to be. I was reading it because of the mystery aspect but this book is so much more than that. It deals with religion, gender, sexuality, and mystery. I never thought I would enjoy a book like this but I thoroughly did. It was well written and just shows the great lengths people will go to for love. No matter what peoples gender, sexuality, or religion is the most important thing is LOVE, and this book is all about it.
May 20, 2017
I won this book through Goodreads Giveaways.
I don't know... this one had potential and it started off with a really interesting premise but it just all went downhill. Felt too dramatic and not real enough, and all of the characters were just miserable and awful to read about.
I wanted to like this more, but I just didn't.
I don't know... this one had potential and it started off with a really interesting premise but it just all went downhill. Felt too dramatic and not real enough, and all of the characters were just miserable and awful to read about.
I wanted to like this more, but I just didn't.
April 13, 2021
This book was a great quick read. Detailed murderous bits, and constant changes that left me on the edge of my seat. It honestly was a book that was hard to put down.
This book was full of emotion. It dove into the world of a trans teen without making it about their transition and focusing on the murder mystery which I loved.
This book was full of emotion. It dove into the world of a trans teen without making it about their transition and focusing on the murder mystery which I loved.
July 5, 2018
I picked this up not knowing the main character was trans. This book went against everything I believe morally and ethically, also it bashes religion and conservative values. I find it strange and disturbing that a "straight" man felt compelled to write this.
April 1, 2019
This book held my attention so much that I didn't want to put it down. I would read it whenever I had spare time. If you like murder mysteries, this is a great book to read. If you have a great dislike to transgenders, it may not be for you. Great book and easy to follow the storyline!!
April 20, 2019
Avery is a transgender boy whose close friend, Mary, has been murdered. Avery and his girlfriend try to uncover the details of the crime and become ensnared in solving it. Stiff dialogue and overwrought emotions give this a forced feel. Teenagers don't talk like this.
November 20, 2019
The narration of the beginning was a a bit confusing because we didn't get to know who the character was or anything for a few pages, but once it got cleared up, the book got sooo good. Full of suspense and well written.
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