Home Security: A Novel

by Andrew Glassner

Dr. Nora is a radio therapist who seems to specialize in awful advice. But some people find her brilliant, and they have made her show popular. Unfortunately for Nora, one of her fans is a weasly little con man named Torrelious Fulture, who owes millions to the mob. His problem is that they want their money now, and he hasn't got it. He's got his eye on one big score that would save him, but the mark isn't biting. So Fulture has sent his hit man to kidnap Nora and bring her to a house in the woods, where he imagines she will counsel him one-on-one and help him close his deal.Jenny Jetrowski is a nice person with dreams of serious journalism. A tight job market has made her Nora's assistant producer, but after two weeks she needs to move up to something better, like shoveling elephant poop. But before she can give notice, Nora's husband calls and tells Jenny that Nora's been kidnapped, and Jenny she must take over for her boss on the air (good), and organize her rescue (bad).Meanwhile, Chet Weinhard has found himself at the Seattle airport with nothing but a gym bag and a check from his parents, who have just flown away to an unknown destination with a shadowy television evangelist. Jenny and Chet meet, and along with Nora's husband and Chet's landlord, they design their own elaborate, high-stakes con to bring in Fulture and rescue Dr. Nora.This funny and clever tale is populated with colorful characters and a sense that, no matter how bad things seem, they can always get more ridiculous.

264 pages, Kindle Edition

Published March 12, 2015