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L'emprise affective : Sortir de sa prison
L'emprise affective peut prendre diverses formes, et se retrouver dans chaque type de relation : professionnelle, familiale, amicale, amoureuse... Tout attachement peut receler un besoin, parfois inconscient, de dominer l'autre ou de s'y soumettre. Si chaque lien est potentiellement une prison, pour autrui et soi-même, comment, alors, prendre conscience de l'emprise et nous en affranchir ? Parfois, nous rejouons sans le savoir des scénarios de notre passé, dans certaines circonstances, avec un type de personne particulier. Nous pouvons aussi avoir une fausse idée de nous-mêmes ou de nos capacités, ce qui nous pousse à rester dans les chemins que d'autres balisent à notre place. Dépendre de l'avis des autres pour se construire, ou contrôler son environnement, peut sembler confortable, mais renoncer à son libre-arbitre et à son propre point de vue engendre de grandes souffrances. Si nous faisions le pari du courage, de l'inconnu ? Si nous apprenions à nous faire confiance et à moins attendre des autres ? Pour celles et ceux, évoqués dans cet ouvrage, qui ont pris le temps d'emprunter cette voie, sortir de l'emprise a été source de joie, de vie et de liberté.
198 pages, Paperback
Published January 1, 2014
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December 31, 2024
این کتاب با عنوان فرار از زندان عاطفی ترجمه شده و انتشارات پندار تابان اون رو چاپ کرده. یکی از بهترین کتابهای روانشناسیای هست که تاحالا خوندم. صرفا به مقوله سلطه طلبی میپردازه. سلطهطلبی عاطفی، خانوادگی، سیاسی و اجتماعی.
نویسندهها اول ریشهیابی کردن و علائم سلطهطلبی رو توضیح دادن و بعد راه پذیرش و مستقل شدن رو توضیح دادن. برای من خیلی مفید بود و شرح جلسات و داستان آدمهای تحت سلطه رو نوشتن و خب به من کمک کرد که جهان و شرایط زندگی خودم رو با دید واضحتری ببینم.
به علاقهمندان روانشناسی پیشنهاد میکنم حتما بیان سراغ این کتاب.
نویسندهها اول ریشهیابی کردن و علائم سلطهطلبی رو توضیح دادن و بعد راه پذیرش و مستقل شدن رو توضیح دادن. برای من خیلی مفید بود و شرح جلسات و داستان آدمهای تحت سلطه رو نوشتن و خب به من کمک کرد که جهان و شرایط زندگی خودم رو با دید واضحتری ببینم.
به علاقهمندان روانشناسی پیشنهاد میکنم حتما بیان سراغ این کتاب.
August 29, 2026
The way out of emotional control is this: daring to face loneliness, loss, and mortality.
Saverio Tomasella’s L'emprise affective: Sortir de sa prison is not simply a book about toxic relationships or emotional dependency. It is an exploration of the invisible mechanisms that can keep us imprisoned in relationships, even when we know they are hurting us.
What makes this book powerful is the way it challenges the idea that freedom comes from finding the “right” person or from making the other person change. Sometimes, freedom begins when we become willing to face what we fear most: being alone, losing someone, being rejected, and accepting that nothing—and no relationship—is permanent.
Emotional control can be subtle. It can disguise itself as love, loyalty, responsibility, empathy, or even the fear of hurting someone. We may gradually give up parts of ourselves to preserve a connection, until maintaining the relationship becomes more important than maintaining our own inner freedom.
Tomasella invites the reader to look at these patterns without reducing everything to blame. The question is not simply “Why did this person control me?” but also “What made me afraid to leave?” What need, fear, wound, or belief kept me attached?
For me, one of the deepest messages of the book is that autonomy requires accepting uncertainty. We cannot guarantee that leaving will not hurt. We cannot guarantee that loneliness will be easy. We cannot guarantee that we will never experience loss again.
But perhaps emotional freedom begins precisely there: when we stop demanding guarantees from life before allowing ourselves to choose ourselves.
Sometimes, escaping the prison of emotional control does not mean becoming fearless.
It means becoming willing to live despite the fear.
Saverio Tomasella’s L'emprise affective: Sortir de sa prison is not simply a book about toxic relationships or emotional dependency. It is an exploration of the invisible mechanisms that can keep us imprisoned in relationships, even when we know they are hurting us.
What makes this book powerful is the way it challenges the idea that freedom comes from finding the “right” person or from making the other person change. Sometimes, freedom begins when we become willing to face what we fear most: being alone, losing someone, being rejected, and accepting that nothing—and no relationship—is permanent.
Emotional control can be subtle. It can disguise itself as love, loyalty, responsibility, empathy, or even the fear of hurting someone. We may gradually give up parts of ourselves to preserve a connection, until maintaining the relationship becomes more important than maintaining our own inner freedom.
Tomasella invites the reader to look at these patterns without reducing everything to blame. The question is not simply “Why did this person control me?” but also “What made me afraid to leave?” What need, fear, wound, or belief kept me attached?
For me, one of the deepest messages of the book is that autonomy requires accepting uncertainty. We cannot guarantee that leaving will not hurt. We cannot guarantee that loneliness will be easy. We cannot guarantee that we will never experience loss again.
But perhaps emotional freedom begins precisely there: when we stop demanding guarantees from life before allowing ourselves to choose ourselves.
Sometimes, escaping the prison of emotional control does not mean becoming fearless.
It means becoming willing to live despite the fear.
Displaying 1 - 2 of 2 reviews