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Choose Your Own Misery #2
The Holidays
From "The Onion" alum writers Mike MacDonald and Jilly Gagnon comes a hilarious choose-your-own-path story to ruin your holiday spirit.
This is the year you re going to do it: you re going to avoid Christmas completely!
...or you were, until your island getaway got washed out by a hurricane. Now you have to choose: should you spend the holiday with your shrewish sister and her Europhile husband, or endure your new girlfriend s family for a week? Help chop down a tree even though it might throw out your back, or endure the icy judgment of a woman who thinks only children and pussies help bake cookies? Jet off to the glamorous slums of Kingston, Jamaica, or accept the offer of a ride from a man who never stops smiling...and is probably going to turn you into a skin suit?
From the writers who brought you the hilarious parody "Choose Your Own Misery: The Office" comes a second helping of misery with a festive twist. Christmas is full of fun surprises for kids, but for adults, it s just an endless series of aggressive crowds, overwhelming credit card debt, and pretending to like the people you re forced to spend it with.
Once you unwrap all the holiday misery hiding in these pages, the blackness of your heart will rival any lump of coal."
This is the year you re going to do it: you re going to avoid Christmas completely!
...or you were, until your island getaway got washed out by a hurricane. Now you have to choose: should you spend the holiday with your shrewish sister and her Europhile husband, or endure your new girlfriend s family for a week? Help chop down a tree even though it might throw out your back, or endure the icy judgment of a woman who thinks only children and pussies help bake cookies? Jet off to the glamorous slums of Kingston, Jamaica, or accept the offer of a ride from a man who never stops smiling...and is probably going to turn you into a skin suit?
From the writers who brought you the hilarious parody "Choose Your Own Misery: The Office" comes a second helping of misery with a festive twist. Christmas is full of fun surprises for kids, but for adults, it s just an endless series of aggressive crowds, overwhelming credit card debt, and pretending to like the people you re forced to spend it with.
Once you unwrap all the holiday misery hiding in these pages, the blackness of your heart will rival any lump of coal."
362 pages, Paperback
Published October 18, 2016
34 people are currently reading
714 people want to read
About the author
Mike MacDonald
2 books34 followersMike MacDonald is the co-author of the Choose Your Own Misery series. He spent four years as a contributing writer with America’s Finest News Source, The Onion while simultaneously working as a journalist at Canada’s largest newspaper chain, Postmedia News and Journalists for Human Rights.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 50 reviews
December 14, 2019
One of my favorite holiday movies is National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation, especially the part where Ellen Griswold says, “It’s Christmas and we’re all in misery.” Let’s just say I can relate. I usually read one holiday-themed book during December and had never read a “choose your own” story before, so decided to give this one a try. I thought it would be humorous, but the humor is crude and mean-spirited. I went through a number of scenarios, selecting different options, and trying to hit most, if not all, of the storylines. I kept trying, unsuccessfully, to find at least one to enjoy. Humor is obviously a matter of personal taste, and I rarely give out one-star reviews, but I truly disliked this book.
August 17, 2016
Disclaimer: ARC via Netgalley.
If you are of a certain age, you remember, most likely with fondness, those Chose Your Own Adventure books. You know where you flipped to different pages depending on what action you chose to do. (You also most likely remember games like Zork and King’s Quest where you typed in commands). Those books seemed to end most of the time with the reader being eaten by wild dogs, trapped in a sewer, imprisoned by Santa Claus. In other words, a very messy ending.
But that was part of the charm.
Something that MacDonald and Gagnon seem to realize. This is a Choose Your Adventure for the Real World. In other words that holiday that should be fun but is so loaded with everything from family drama, perfection stress, and what not – Christmas. The pair of authors not only parodies the Choose Your Own Adventure books, but also how people fuss during the holidays.
It’s not a perfect book – the basic assumption is still that the reader is straight male, but that’s part of the parody. MacDonald and Gagnon incorporate that beautiful into various jokes. Play attention to the names that they use as well.
Wonderfully funny.
If you are of a certain age, you remember, most likely with fondness, those Chose Your Own Adventure books. You know where you flipped to different pages depending on what action you chose to do. (You also most likely remember games like Zork and King’s Quest where you typed in commands). Those books seemed to end most of the time with the reader being eaten by wild dogs, trapped in a sewer, imprisoned by Santa Claus. In other words, a very messy ending.
But that was part of the charm.
Something that MacDonald and Gagnon seem to realize. This is a Choose Your Adventure for the Real World. In other words that holiday that should be fun but is so loaded with everything from family drama, perfection stress, and what not – Christmas. The pair of authors not only parodies the Choose Your Own Adventure books, but also how people fuss during the holidays.
It’s not a perfect book – the basic assumption is still that the reader is straight male, but that’s part of the parody. MacDonald and Gagnon incorporate that beautiful into various jokes. Play attention to the names that they use as well.
Wonderfully funny.
December 25, 2016
ARC for review - EPD: October 18, 2016.
I loved these books as a kid, and I was hoping for such much more fun from this one - it's definitely for adults, but I didn't get any actual laughs from it. Sigh.
I loved these books as a kid, and I was hoping for such much more fun from this one - it's definitely for adults, but I didn't get any actual laughs from it. Sigh.
September 19, 2016
1. You’ve just received an ARC in the mail. You’re super excited because you liked the previous book in this series.
If you want to immediately begin to read, go to 2.
If you want to wait and read it to your friends at movie night later this evening, go to 3.
2. F***, you forgot you have to go to work. You stuff the book into your purse so you can furtively read it on breaks. You have the best intentions, but you don’t want to wait for breaks, so you end up sneaking a page or two under tables during meetings, until you’re fired. Maybe you shouldn’t have been quite so impatient?
The End
3. You do a dramatic reading for your friends, including all the voices. Your friends don’t seem to share your sense of humor, but you barrel through several threads of the story. Eventually, someone suggests you watch the movie.
To ditch your friends and read at home, go to 4.
To watch the movie now and torment your boyfriend when you get home, go to 5.
4. You planned on watching your boyfriend’s favorite movies with him, but screw it, you’d much rather read. You explain this to all your friends. They look startled, but you don’t give them time to protest: you drive straight home and read the book, carefully placing bookmarks at each crossroads so you can read absolutely allllllll the story lines. The next day, your boyfriend seems upset you ditched everyone the night before. Or, at least that’s what you think seventeen texts in a row and three missed calls mean. But you’re not touching your phone, because you’re not quite done with the book yet. Your fridge is empty, so you go to the gas station across your street for some Hostess cupcakes, order some real groceries online, and settle back into reading.
The End
5. The main character has a super annoying girlfriend. Perfect! You read aloud and do her voice as high-pitched and irritating as possible. Your boyfriend is suitably annoyed. Later in the evening, you continue to squeal “Oh, I told you he was marriage material!” at the most awkward moments. You’ve been dating for four months. He grimace-smiles whenever you repeat the line.
To keep reading aloud to him, go to 6.
To leave him alone and read the rest to yourself, go to 8.
6. The next bit you read involves a many, many, many Combos and highly detailed passages about sharts. Your boyfriend has turned a nauseous shade of orange.
To keep reading aloud, go to 7.
To read the rest by yourself, go to 8.
7. You’re enjoying doing all the voices, and you have a bit of a sadistic streak, so you read on. By the time you exhaust the Christmas with Lindsi thread, your boyfriend is white as a sheet and winces whenever you say the word “proving.” The worst endings were the “happy” ones. You call it a night and dream happy, happy evil dreams.
The End
8. You love your boyfriend and you don’t want him to be too mad at you. You put the book aside. The next day, you read the rest by yourself and love it, especially all the myriad ways you can get robbed. And the bit where you get humped by a reindeer. In fact, you love it so much you feel compelled to write a ridiculous choose-your-own review for it!
The End
The verdict: this book is definitely not for everyone, but I loved its guts and I hope Jilly comes to my local bookshop again to do a reading / signing. <3
If you want to immediately begin to read, go to 2.
If you want to wait and read it to your friends at movie night later this evening, go to 3.
2. F***, you forgot you have to go to work. You stuff the book into your purse so you can furtively read it on breaks. You have the best intentions, but you don’t want to wait for breaks, so you end up sneaking a page or two under tables during meetings, until you’re fired. Maybe you shouldn’t have been quite so impatient?
The End
3. You do a dramatic reading for your friends, including all the voices. Your friends don’t seem to share your sense of humor, but you barrel through several threads of the story. Eventually, someone suggests you watch the movie.
To ditch your friends and read at home, go to 4.
To watch the movie now and torment your boyfriend when you get home, go to 5.
4. You planned on watching your boyfriend’s favorite movies with him, but screw it, you’d much rather read. You explain this to all your friends. They look startled, but you don’t give them time to protest: you drive straight home and read the book, carefully placing bookmarks at each crossroads so you can read absolutely allllllll the story lines. The next day, your boyfriend seems upset you ditched everyone the night before. Or, at least that’s what you think seventeen texts in a row and three missed calls mean. But you’re not touching your phone, because you’re not quite done with the book yet. Your fridge is empty, so you go to the gas station across your street for some Hostess cupcakes, order some real groceries online, and settle back into reading.
The End
5. The main character has a super annoying girlfriend. Perfect! You read aloud and do her voice as high-pitched and irritating as possible. Your boyfriend is suitably annoyed. Later in the evening, you continue to squeal “Oh, I told you he was marriage material!” at the most awkward moments. You’ve been dating for four months. He grimace-smiles whenever you repeat the line.
To keep reading aloud to him, go to 6.
To leave him alone and read the rest to yourself, go to 8.
6. The next bit you read involves a many, many, many Combos and highly detailed passages about sharts. Your boyfriend has turned a nauseous shade of orange.
To keep reading aloud, go to 7.
To read the rest by yourself, go to 8.
7. You’re enjoying doing all the voices, and you have a bit of a sadistic streak, so you read on. By the time you exhaust the Christmas with Lindsi thread, your boyfriend is white as a sheet and winces whenever you say the word “proving.” The worst endings were the “happy” ones. You call it a night and dream happy, happy evil dreams.
The End
8. You love your boyfriend and you don’t want him to be too mad at you. You put the book aside. The next day, you read the rest by yourself and love it, especially all the myriad ways you can get robbed. And the bit where you get humped by a reindeer. In fact, you love it so much you feel compelled to write a ridiculous choose-your-own review for it!
The End
The verdict: this book is definitely not for everyone, but I loved its guts and I hope Jilly comes to my local bookshop again to do a reading / signing. <3
December 18, 2016
You want to feel like a kid again? Read "Choose Your Own Misery: The Holidays" by Mike MacDonald and Jilly Gagnon and feel young again. It is a choose your own adventure for adults! There are lots of points in the story that you have to make decisions and boy do they take you in totally different ways! I tried several ways and it was a hoot! It was fun and there are so many different options that I had to read it several times and still didn't get all the options possible. They are fun and clever stories about the holidays.Very cute and a great idea for parties or just for yourself. Thanks NetGalley for suggesting this book.
February 5, 2017
"Choose Your Own Misery" is like the "Choose Your Own Adventure" serious. Except for adults. And unlike CYOA, none of the endings will be in your favor. Pretty freaking hilarious. Would be fun to read with a group of friends. Misery loves company :)
October 11, 2016
These two are hilarious. So glad that they came out with another one-and such a perfect topic-God knows we all have our own Misery stories from the holidays!
November 21, 2016
The best choose-your-path holiday-themed book I've written yet!
September 26, 2017
Another great book in the "Choose Your Own Misery" series. It all starts out with the questions of how you want to spent your holidays. The First question is do you want to spend it with your new girlfriend or do you want to spend it on the beach? Your answer then sends you off to two completely different scenarios. Some of the funnier scenarios are:
1) bah humbug! You don't have time for hitchhikers! Turn to page 12. 2)Earn yourself some Christmas karma and help this weirdo out on page 14.
1) If you want to keep your mouth shut, turn to page 244. 2) If you want to bargain with the cop, turn to page 245.
1) If you just want to let it happen - it will end sooner that way - turn to page 308
2) If you want to body-slam the mall Santa, turn to page 310.
I just hope that more of these are written, I highly enjoyed them.
~ April
1) bah humbug! You don't have time for hitchhikers! Turn to page 12. 2)Earn yourself some Christmas karma and help this weirdo out on page 14.
1) If you want to keep your mouth shut, turn to page 244. 2) If you want to bargain with the cop, turn to page 245.
1) If you just want to let it happen - it will end sooner that way - turn to page 308
2) If you want to body-slam the mall Santa, turn to page 310.
I just hope that more of these are written, I highly enjoyed them.
~ April
April 16, 2017
(I received an ARC from the NETGALLEY)
RATING: 3.5 STARS
A choose your own adventure but for adults. After reading the Office version I was looking forward to the holiday version. It is a fun book. I would recommend this if you enjoyed reading the Choose your Own Adventure series.
RATING: 3.5 STARS
A choose your own adventure but for adults. After reading the Office version I was looking forward to the holiday version. It is a fun book. I would recommend this if you enjoyed reading the Choose your Own Adventure series.
December 26, 2025
This book is hilarious! It’s formatted the same as the Choose Your Own Adventure books from my childhood, so I enjoyed the nostalgia with a dark twist. Every path I followed in the book ended with me literally laughing out loud. I highly recommend reading this during the holidays as it’s a nice break from all the holiday stress.
October 10, 2016
A hilarious second installment in the Choose Your Own Misery series. If you're a fan of dark humor, you'll love this book.
August 6, 2017
While Andy Williams might try to convince you that the holidays are the most wonderful time of the year, most people know that it is exactly the opposite. The once joyous holiday that you enjoyed as a child becomes overrun with obligations as you age. Office parties, gift shopping and family dinners are doubly miserable during the holidays. It was only a matter of time before someone created a Choose Your Own Adventure book about the holidays.
Choose Your Own Misery: The Holidays is just what you expect. Stranded because of a storm, you must choose how you want to spend Christmas (the title says holidays but you are celebrating Christmas). Do you want to spend Christmas with your girlfriend or try to salvage your trip? Do you want to be a nerd or do you want to hang out with the cool guy from your old workplace? Do you want to be paranoid or not paranoid (This actually comes up more than once. The you of this book is an extremely paranoid freak.) Each choice you make takes you down a path of worst case scenario and dark humor. Unlike the real holidays, this trip will leave you wanting more.
The only disappointing thing about Choose Your Own Misery: The Holidays is that you do not have a path that leads you to spending Christmas with your parents and extended family. Let’s face it, spending Christmas with your parents and extended family can be the most painful thing during the holiday season. It felt like a missed opportunity to really get at the heart of miserable holidays.
Overall, Choose Your Own Misery: The Holidays is an amusingly fun read. It combines the fun of Choose Your Own Adventure books of your childhood and the horrors of the holidays from your adulthood. Read it with some eggnog; you will need it.
I received this book via Netgalley in exchange for an honest review.
Choose Your Own Misery: The Holidays is just what you expect. Stranded because of a storm, you must choose how you want to spend Christmas (the title says holidays but you are celebrating Christmas). Do you want to spend Christmas with your girlfriend or try to salvage your trip? Do you want to be a nerd or do you want to hang out with the cool guy from your old workplace? Do you want to be paranoid or not paranoid (This actually comes up more than once. The you of this book is an extremely paranoid freak.) Each choice you make takes you down a path of worst case scenario and dark humor. Unlike the real holidays, this trip will leave you wanting more.
The only disappointing thing about Choose Your Own Misery: The Holidays is that you do not have a path that leads you to spending Christmas with your parents and extended family. Let’s face it, spending Christmas with your parents and extended family can be the most painful thing during the holiday season. It felt like a missed opportunity to really get at the heart of miserable holidays.
Overall, Choose Your Own Misery: The Holidays is an amusingly fun read. It combines the fun of Choose Your Own Adventure books of your childhood and the horrors of the holidays from your adulthood. Read it with some eggnog; you will need it.
I received this book via Netgalley in exchange for an honest review.
October 12, 2016
I received a copy of this title from the publisher via Netgalley for review.
Ten Second Synopsis:
Choose your own horrid, fetid, unpleasant path through the mire that is Christmastime.
If you are already sick of hearing how many shopping days are left before Christmas (and Halloween hasn't even arrived yet!), then today's book is going to be right up your alley. I wouldn’t class myself as a particular Christmas grump, but I had a lot of fun with this book nonetheless. The kindle edition allows you to click on a page option at the end of each section to choose the next step on your path to misery: shall I accept a lift from a sweaty, suspicious stranger or hire a car at inflated holiday prices? Should I tell my girlfriend’s family about the unfortunate accident that I caused or allow them to keep thinking of me as a paragon of virtue? There’s so many options to choose that I was able to replay the book a number of times without crossing any paths I had already selected.
The book is written from a male character’s point of view, so I don’t know whether female readers will feel like this is a problem, but right from the off I was able to relate to the frustration and bewilderment of the protagonist as he (I) was forced to make unlikely choices as a series of absurd obstacles appeared in the road of his (my) planned escape from Christmas jollity.
If you’re looking for a Kris Kringle present for a subversive friend, or just want to while away the time on a long and boring train commute, this book would be a great choice.
Ten Second Synopsis:
Choose your own horrid, fetid, unpleasant path through the mire that is Christmastime.
If you are already sick of hearing how many shopping days are left before Christmas (and Halloween hasn't even arrived yet!), then today's book is going to be right up your alley. I wouldn’t class myself as a particular Christmas grump, but I had a lot of fun with this book nonetheless. The kindle edition allows you to click on a page option at the end of each section to choose the next step on your path to misery: shall I accept a lift from a sweaty, suspicious stranger or hire a car at inflated holiday prices? Should I tell my girlfriend’s family about the unfortunate accident that I caused or allow them to keep thinking of me as a paragon of virtue? There’s so many options to choose that I was able to replay the book a number of times without crossing any paths I had already selected.
The book is written from a male character’s point of view, so I don’t know whether female readers will feel like this is a problem, but right from the off I was able to relate to the frustration and bewilderment of the protagonist as he (I) was forced to make unlikely choices as a series of absurd obstacles appeared in the road of his (my) planned escape from Christmas jollity.
If you’re looking for a Kris Kringle present for a subversive friend, or just want to while away the time on a long and boring train commute, this book would be a great choice.
December 17, 2016
Of course, like the Choose Your Own Adventure books, you can start pretty much anywhere in the series and be fine. I’ve started with The Holidays by Mike MacDonald and Jilly Gagnon because I am a total sucker for all things Christmas and holiday related. Read my full review here>
September 11, 2019
I bought this book about a year ago, thinking it would be a fun read. This year, as I was working my way through the Popsugar reading challenge prompts, I saw one for a choose-your-own-adventure book, and figured I'd give it a whirl. That was a mistake.
This book is terrible. I mean, I get that it's supposed to be, but there are just dumb choices along the way, and the book is populated by terrible people, including "you". And this isn't a 150-page multiple choice book; it's 362 pages!
When I read these kinds of books, I keep track of where the choices happen and go back and pick up the story from the ending, so I can read all the trees and chains. None of them are good. Again, I'm sure that's the point, but man, this got tedious fast.
I think it's supposed to be funny, but I just found myself shaking my head and muttering "What the fuck?" a lot. The level of awkwardness was on a level of Meet the Parents.
Just skip it. I wish I had.
This book is terrible. I mean, I get that it's supposed to be, but there are just dumb choices along the way, and the book is populated by terrible people, including "you". And this isn't a 150-page multiple choice book; it's 362 pages!
When I read these kinds of books, I keep track of where the choices happen and go back and pick up the story from the ending, so I can read all the trees and chains. None of them are good. Again, I'm sure that's the point, but man, this got tedious fast.
I think it's supposed to be funny, but I just found myself shaking my head and muttering "What the fuck?" a lot. The level of awkwardness was on a level of Meet the Parents.
Just skip it. I wish I had.
October 11, 2017
The Holidays (Choose your Own Misery #2) is a great choice for any miser out there during the holiday season. I, however, am not a miser so it was not as enthralling as I thought it would be. I tried several different miserable choices and still none were that enjoyable. Honestly, I wanted to laugh more, like I had with The Office (Choose Your Own Misery #1). The Holidays was dark from the beginning and just stayed dark. Written as if it was a serious book trying to be funny rather than a comedic read for the holidays, I found myself getting bored within a few pages. Will definitely keep an eye out for future "Choose Your Own Misery" books.
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December 15, 2019
It's not that the writing deserved 4 stars, but what I liked is that after reading a couple of pages I then got to decide how I wanted the plot to move forward by deciding (for the character) the next scenario. Based on the scenario chosen, I would be directed to moving ahead and reading a few more pages resulting again with the question of which decision should be made. I can see that this is a book that can be played out in many ways and one might end up with an ideal 'happily ever after ending'.
I bet it was fun to develop the flowchart for this book and laugh at all the possible consequences available. This would be a fun way to assess a friend's personality based on how their story played out.
I bet it was fun to develop the flowchart for this book and laugh at all the possible consequences available. This would be a fun way to assess a friend's personality based on how their story played out.
August 5, 2018
It took me a bad ending or two to get in to the slapstick spirit of The Holidays, and I can't say I stayed there long. At first I felt guilty for pretending to work over Christmas in order to avoid my girlfriend, but she turned out to be entertainingly whacked out in some threads. There was no pleasing my sister, but the craziness got less depressing, yet also less coherent, in some of the stranger corners of the story. If you enjoy random juvenile humor and a lose-lose situation where your choices will always be poor and doomed, then you should like this book.
September 22, 2017
4.5/5 stars (I liked the first CYOM - "The Office" slightly better), but who is counting...another instant dark humor classic from Mike MacDonald. Like the previous Choose Your Own Misery, I motored through this one and laughed out loud the whole way. Very hilarious book and the Church scene (not to give it away) made me laugh out loud the longest! Keep em' coming Choose Your Own Misery team!
December 18, 2024
I found this book at the local library on a table with many other Christmas books. After reading several Christmas-themed novels, I decided to give this adult "choose your own adventure " book a try. Well, I read two possible stories and decided that was enough - too much adult language and who needs that, especially in a Christmas-themed novel!
October 15, 2018
Funnier than the office one, and that one was funny. There are a couple paths in this one that made my husband laugh uncontrollably, and that is nearly impossible to do. I think the variety of options was better in this one, as well as the number of characters you interact with.
March 13, 2019
The eBook version I'm able to read does not give me an option to click on my choice, nor does it give me the page numbers for the choices, so I can't give it as high a rating as I would like at this time. I will amend this when I can find a better version, or a print book.
February 23, 2021
I'm only giving this a low score because I could only find this on Hoopla and the links to choose which senerio you wanted only led you to one. Round and Round, no other choices. So do not let my score scare you away. You might have better luck than I did.
December 7, 2023
I gave this four stars not for how great the book was but mostly for the awesome feeling of nostalgia this choose your own adventure(or misery in this instance) brought. I just really enjoyed the fun trip down memory lane.
November 1, 2017
It was a fun read, but difficult if you read it on a Kindle or Kindle-like device. The Choose Your Own Mystery is fun and creative, but I am not sure I read the whole book.
December 8, 2017
Great concept, but it wasn’t has lol funny as I thought it could be, and most of the stories ended far too short. I didn’t want to keep rereading the opening.
November 22, 2019
Not really entertaining and too much narrow-minded male perspective for me. Maybe the other books are funnier.
January 24, 2022
Hilarious, perfect for people like me who dream of someday trying to escape the hell of the holidays. (It's not possible).
Displaying 1 - 30 of 50 reviews