My, My, My, My, My

by Tara Hardy

Her fight to stay alive, while terrifying, is deeply vibrant.
Suddenly stricken by a life-threatening condition, the author finds she has slipped into an alternate reality–one in which her life and her livelihood are no longer to be counted on. Oddly, she finds it's a place populated with not just hope, but a newfound appreciation for the splendors of the physical world.

Genres: Poetry, Disability, Queer, LGBT

138 pages, Paperback

First published November 15, 2016

Reviews

[Misha · Rating 5 out of 5]

Damn. This collection of poetry by disabled queer Northwest poet is intense but also beautiful. It explores themes of incest, rape, illness, queerness, recovery and more.

"Advice to Daughters with Cruel Mothers" slayed me. Some lines:

2. Don elaborate outfits of which your mother would disapprove. Wear them in public with friends. When you get home at night, look in the mirror and approve of yourself.
4. Break up with critical female mentors. You are not more worthy if you can endure their unkindness. You are recreating history.
5. Do a yearly sweep of mean people. If you feel bad about yourself after seeing a friend, slip out of that friendship like a hand outgrowing a glove. Seek friends in whose eyes you are birthday cake.
7. Grant yourself the right to not answer her calls. For a week, for a year, five years. Do what it takes to keep your heart above water. Do not feel guilty about it.


I am going to have to buy this one.

[Sinclair · Rating 4 out of 5]

beautiful. Tara is one of my favorite poets and I am so glad to have more of her work.

[Kara · Rating 5 out of 5]

#BookBingoNW2018 #poetry

[Sue · Rating 5 out of 5]

A book full of poems about illness doesn’t sound like a fun read, but this one is brilliant. Hardy has used her poetic gifts to give us a vivid picture of what it’s really like to be ill, to have chemotherapy, to live among healthy people who don’t understand. In “Fatigue,” for example, she begins with what it’s not. “Fatigue…is not tired, not/“I totally get it, because last week/I worked too much.” Then she offers two pages of what it is like. For example: “…Imagine your bones/are made of smoke/or whispers.//Imagine scares are what keep/your skeleton together./Imagine your sleeves are filled/with pudding: try to make//dinner.” Have you ever thought of fatigue that way? It’s such a perfect description. Throughout the book, Hardy weaves in hints of childhood abuse and the privilege enjoyed by people who can afford good health insurance and medical care. She never clearly states exactly what her health problem is, but her reading at AWP in March inspired me to buy the book, so this poet is still alive and writing.

[Jennie Chantal · Rating 5 out of 5]

Grieving and living sit
at opposite ends
of a teeter totter, smiling
at each other, daring
the other to hop off.
---
Rage is the lung of illness
---
I really needed this collection! Tara Hardy has captured the mess of grief, pain, fear, hope, despair, healing, power, loss, change, and love that a person experiences when they become ill, don't recover, and must live with serious chronic illness. This book is SO relevant and necessary and I would recommend it to everyone who wants to better understand the feelings and experiences of people who are chronically ill (in particular queer, femme, survivors) and to those of us who are ill and want and need our experiences to be seen and heard, who want to feel we aren't alone.

Standout poems include: "Fatigue", "Why", "First Thoughts", "Lessons", "Smitten", "Cure" , "Grief body"and "Wishes she still Were".

Many of these poems are written to be heard as Tara Hardy is a well-known slam poet. If you are able, check out her videos on YouTube, or read them aloud to yourself. A lot of them come alive this way!

[György · Rating 5 out of 5]

I have had the insane privilege to take a writing class from Tara. She is a blessing and a gift. She knows how to write the tender parts of pain and humanity, and is simply a wonder as a human and a poet.

[TinySalutations · Rating 5 out of 5]

*4.5 stars* I thought these poems were mostly about chronic illness, but they are much larger than that. Some focus on illness while others focus on queer relationships and identity and others on sexual and mental abuse by parents. The writing was sophisticated without being unnecessarily vague or cryptic.

I was somewhat disappointed that several of the poems felt like reiterations of another poem already in the book. It was almost like the author liked a train of thought, then couldn’t decide how best to execute it so they put both versions of the idea in the book. I felt like rounding up, because it is so difficult for disabled/chronically ill writers and artists to get their work out.

My favorite poem was “One Hundred Beautiful Perfect Percent”.

[Jordan Villanueva · Rating 4 out of 5]

This collection didn’t blow me away as much as I’d hoped, but it’s still a really solid book of poetry. It’s sort of funny reading Tara Hardy right after Ocean Vuong— while Ocean is so soft, lyrical, “poetic”, Tara is very literal, firm, visceral. Much of this read like prose with line breaks, but she uses language to blend together trauma and illness into something beautiful. There are no boundaries around her subjects, they’re all a part of the same whole.

[Madeline · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book of poetry is fucking brilliant and devastating and visceral. It explores themes of illness, incest, trauma, healing, loss, and queerness, so proceed with caution because it’s definitely not a light read. However, if you want to experience gorgeous writing or a place to grieve, this book is it.

[Adrienne Scanlan · Rating 5 out of 5]

A brilliant, brave book that more than earned its Washington State Book Award 2017 for poetry. There is courage, compassion, realism, and passion without a shred of sentimentality. Read this book - you won't regret it.

[Aliona · Rating 3 out of 5]

This poetry book differed the most from the others I’ve read because of it’s themes and was hard to read sometimes but yet very good

[Karen Mcswain · Rating 5 out of 5]

Beautiful and powerful. This is a book I will read over and over.

[Aline · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was really intense.

[Julene · Rating 5 out of 5]

In Tara Hardy's poetry book My, My, My, My, Mt, loss and grief are viserally expressed in strong metaphors. This is a must read book about living with a chronic illness and a journey through grief.

Tara Hardy is a powerful writer who loves life and brings politics, from her life's work to fight oppression, into her writing. In the poem "Lawfully" she writes, "I am a Faberge egg,/something to pedestal, protect—/white/as a believable victim.//Privilege: on the street outside/both hospitals no one sees/my skin is something to let/lawfully bleed."

I attended her performance piece/reading at Gay City. She started out saying (paraphrasing) that she is grateful for winning the WA State Book Award, but her work is the same with or without the award and as writers our work is worthwhile. She comes from grassroots, and as a teacher and the founder of Bent, she knows the importance of writing, how essential it is, and its connection to one's healing process, she wanted the writers in the audience who may not have an award to know that. She wants all of us to keep writing our stories. Her heart is with the people, always.

[Diane G · Rating 5 out of 5]

10/5 stars. this book is AMAZING if you have chronic illness, cancer, etc. I feel seen heard loved all of it. I could cry.

[Jenna McCullough · Rating 5 out of 5]

Love it!

As a chronically ill poet myself, it was awesome reading a book with so many pieces about that topic. Tara Hardy is a phenomenal writer and I adore her poetry so very much. I'd give this more than five stars if I could.

[Arielle W · Rating 5 out of 5]

This collection was beautiful and raw and intense. It really spoke to me in a way poetry hasn't for a long time. There were just so many good lines in here. And all sorts of hope and despair.