Safe in His Heart

Safe #2

by Renae Kaye

Andrew and Paul learned about God and Jesus in different churches and realize their views of spirituality are worlds apart.

Andrew was raised Catholic and was told his homosexuality was a sin. For his entire life, he hid the truth. He married and had children to present a façade to the world—that of a straight man. It’s not until he has an affair with Paul, who shows him a different side of Jesus, that Andrew realizes he can be gay and still believe in God. Paul’s Jesus is one of acceptance and love, and in Paul’s church, being gay is not a problem.

For Paul and Andrew, falling in love is the easy part of their journey. They must make it through the fires of cheating, being discovered, Andrew’s wife leaving, the necessities of childcare and family life, the demands of their jobs, and working on their commitment to each other. Only then can they be safe in each other’s heart.

Genres: M M Romance, Contemporary, Romance, Australia, Audiobook, Religion, LGBT

270 pages, Paperback

First published May 2, 2016

About the author

Renae Kaye is a lover and hoarder of books who thinks libraries are devilish places because they make you give the books back. She consumed her first adult romance book at the tender age of thirteen and hasn’t stopped since. After years – and thousands of stories! – of not having book characters do what she wants, she decided she would write her own novel and found the characters still didn’t do what she wanted. She believes that the world is too complicated for her, so she loses herself in stories. The only thing that keeps her going are her children who are the delight of her life.

Renae lives in Perth, Western Australia. She is a survivor of being the youngest in a large family and believes that laughter (and a good book) can cure anything. Which is why it's a pity laughter is sometimes scarce on the ground.

You can contact her at renaekaye@iinet.net.au.

Reviews

[~✡~Dαni(ela) ♥ ♂♂ love & semi-colons~✡~ · Rating 2 out of 5]

~2.5~

I am a huge fan of Ranae Kaye’s work; she’s one of my auto-read, go-to authors. Safe in His Arms, the first book in the Safe series, was a five-star read for me. Safe in His Heart overlaps with the first book (I loved seeing Lon and Casey again!) and follows Paul as he falls for the married, closeted Andrew.

Let me start with the good stuff: Safe in His Heart is well-written and features some sweet moments, a hard-earned HEA, and a few seriously steamy scenes (including a voyeuristic shower scene in a locker room).

Paul and Andrew have scorching chemistry and begin to meet in hotel rooms for wild trysts. They are lovers first, but they become good friends. In many ways, Paul is the only person on whom Andrew can rely.

Andrew and his wife, Kristy, get married to appease their conservative Catholic families. Their marriage is a business contract. They have sex only to procreate. Once they have two children, they never touch each other again and have, for all intents and purposes, an open relationship. As such, cheating was not the problem here, at least for me.

However, I despised Andrew’s life choices and found him to be a coward and a hypocrite. Andrew believes that being gay is a sin against God (he points to Leviticus 18:22) but will bend over for any man who will fuck him.

I’m convinced Andrew never would have left his sham of a marriage had the decision not been thrust upon him. Indeed, once Kristy leaves (around the 40 percent mark), Andrew doesn’t “feel right” about touching or kissing Paul, still wears his wedding ring, and calls Kristy his wife. He continues to treat Paul like a shameful, dirty secret. This bothered me a great deal.

Andrew didn’t act as much as REACT. I wanted him to CHOOSE Paul and an honest life, but I felt like he only did so by default.

Even at the end of the story, Andrew doesn’t treat Paul, who’s been helping him raise his kids, fairly. When Kristy is concerned about the kids having two dads, Andrew reassures her that Paul is just the man who picks them up from school and from day care and helps with the shopping and all the rest. We’re Dad and Paul. In other words, Paul will never be their dad.

Much is made of children being “a blessing from God,” something I found offensive to all gay (and straight) couples who can’t have biological children. Does that mean God didn't love them enough to bless them?

This brings me to my next point of contention: This book is VERY heavy-handed in pushing Christianity. Andrew carries around Catholic guilt and shame, so Paul, who’s a gentle, caring man if a bit of a pushover, invites Andrew to his Anglican church, where a well-meaning priest explains to Andrew for pages on end that it’s fine to be gay because Jesus loves him anyway.

The priest counters the Leviticus argument with Ephesians 2:15, and tells Andrew that Jesus:

has abolished the law … so that he might create in himself one new humanity in place of the two … God gave Levites the law, and he punished them severely when they broke the law. For years this was true. And then Jesus came—the son of God. With him came a new people … a new way.

WHOA, let’s stop for a second and consider why that passage might be upsetting to me as a Jewish reader (or any reader who's not a devout Christian). I don’t need to be preached at about coming to Jesus and seeing the light in the middle of a M/M romance novel. I have no problem with people taking comfort from faith, but this was WAY too much.

Finally: One of my pet peeves is when a despicable character gains unearned forgiveness. Kristy, Andrew’s wife, is such a character. She marries Andrew so she can fulfill her "womanly duty" by having children, look pretty, go to the gym, and generally sit on her arse while Andrew supports her. She has a full-time housekeeper and ships the kids off to daycare.

During the course of the story, she abandons her children, runs off with her lover, doesn’t contact Andrew or the kids for months, and rages at Paul and Andrew that homosexuality is an abomination against God and how dare they pervert HER children. Yet in the end, she’s the "good guy" and Paul and Andrew’s greatest supporter. I’ve never seen a more miraculous change of heart! Quick, someone put a ribbon on it.

I am so disappointed that I didn’t like this book more. I tried, but my overwhelming emotional reaction was not a positive one.

[Jewel · Rating 1 out of 5]

I really loved Safe in His Arms, so when I saw Safe in His Heart on the ARC list, I jumped at it. I remember Paul and Andrew from the first book, and so I knew that Andrew was married. I'm not a fan of cheating or the perception of it, but I do like to give the characters a chance to explain it (open relationship, stupid mistake, etc) before I really judge.

Well, this book did not work at all for me, but it had little to do with Andrew being married (for the whole book, I might add). I was actually ok with Andrew stepping outside his marriage, because he isn't really cheating, according to the rules of his relationship with his wife. It's everything else that bugged the crap out of me. The story was full of unnecessary drama and extremely outdated views on relationships, gender roles, and family. And religion was used to justify all of it.

In fact, my biggest problem with Safe in His Heart was the overuse and the pushing of religion in the story. I have no problem with anyone taking comfort in their faith. I've read many books where one or both MC's were religious or where religion is prevalent in the book and I still managed to enjoy the story. Not true here. I felt like I was being preached at from the beginning to the end, and, frankly, I hated it. I'm reading a novel, not going to church.

When Paul came to the conclusion that God killed Lon's family to make sure that Lon was prepared to help Casey, I was floored. Seriously? The fact that some people still believe stuff like this boggles my mind, but having it used to justify a plot point in a romance novel is unforgivable, to me. What kind of "loving" god kills innocent people just to make someone else grow? I can't even. And Paul was supposed to be the reasonable one.

And then there's Andrew. He and his wife have an agreement. They're not in love with each other and never were. They made a deal. A very stupid, short sighted deal, where Andrew provides completely for her, she doesn't have to work, and in return, he gets her pregnant a couple times so she can "be fulfilled". Really, that's how she saw it. She doesn't even have have to clean much and the kids still go to daycare! WTH?! But she really has no interest in having sex with Andrew, which is great, because the feeling is mutual.

But my biggest disappointment in this book is that I have zero confidence that Andrew would have ever left his wife for Paul. It really seems to me that Andrew would have strung Paul along as long as Paul would have allowed, all the while never intending to end his marriage and face who he is and be open. It wouldn't have happened if Kristy hadn't taken the coward's way out. Even after that, Andrew tried his damndest to hide Paul like he was dirty. It drove me insane! I really wanted Andrew to have the courage to choose something and someone, for himself.

I could keep going -- from the repeated, and outdated notion, that women are nothing if they're not popping out the babies, to the idea that when a couple separates, the kids automatically go with the mom. Really? Did we turn back the clock by about 40 years? Is Australia really that far behind the times? I hadn't thought so.

It was bullshit like that throughout the whole fucking story that made me come very close, several times, to calling it a day and hitting the DNF button.

I did enjoy the chemistry that Paul and Andrew had and their smexytimes were scorchingly hot. But it just wasn't enough to carry the story, and it pains me that I cannot recommend it.

[BWT · Rating 2 out of 5]

So this was a tough one for me. I liked Paul in Safe in His Arms, but didn't like that he was with a married man. I hate cheating. Period. All the excuses and reasons in the world don't matter...I hate it. However, I loved Safe in His Arms, and I really, really, wanted to read Paul's story. (Though I will admit I was hoping Paul wouldn't end up with the cheater.)



But the world isn't black and white, there are grey areas and Paul and Andrew's story fits in the grey area. So I put on my big girl panties and gave it a go.

THERE ARE SPOILERS HERE UNDER TAGS. DO NOT OPEN IF YOU DO NOT WANT IT SPOILED.

Safe in His Heart is Paul and Andrew's story. Told concurrently with Safe in His Arms, the story follows from when Paul and Andrew first meet, to when they eventually hook up, through their affair, and, ultimately, to their HEA.

For me, reading is escapism. I don't usually like so much reality mixed in with my romances. I like fluffy, low angst sweet romances with hot sexy times. Sue me.



However, once I was able to turn down my prejudices (cheating and using the Bible as a hammer: and beware - there is a lot of that in here), I enjoyed the story (sort of). Paul is caring and wonderful, Andrew is sincere and *cough* (can't believe I'm writing this...) loyal. I know, that seems weird - but you have to read it to understand. Even though he's cheating on his wife, he is loyal to Paul.

Andrew and his wife Kristy married only to satisfy their families. Kristy was in love with a much older, married man, and had been carrying on an affair for quite a while. When the married guy went back to his wife, Kristy suggested to Andrew that they marry in name only, except for the times they needed to procreate for children. Kristy made it clear that she did not want a romantic or sexual relationship prior to them marrying. They have sex a total of 12 times in six years, only in order to conceive.

In his soul it was a problem because, despite the fact that he didn’t love Kristy and she didn’t expect him to be faithful, he did try to honor his vow. His marriage to Kristy was one of convenience on both sides. Kristy didn’t ask him for much—merely the image of a happy marriage, children, and enough money so she didn’t have to work.
And he gave her that.
Kristy didn’t expect fidelity. She was upfront about that from the first time they broached the subject. She didn’t want to fulfill Andrew’s sexual needs, so she told him that, as long as it never became public, he could sate them with whoever he liked.
But she didn’t realize that would be a man.

In the end, even though there's cheating, I tried not to be all Judgey McJudementpants. Taking out the cheating part of the equation this is actually a pretty fluffy, medium angst, sweet romance with some nice hot sexy times and an emphasis on making a family.

I almost would have preferred for there to be less excuses? Kristy initiated the relationship, knew what she was getting into, walks off leaving the kids to go back to the ex when he finally leaves his wife, then champions Andrew and Paul in the end.

Like, because she's portrayed as a not so great mother right before she abandons them, and she's not a proper "wife" it makes it okay to cheat.

But my biggest problem is that I truly believe if Kristy didn't leave I don't think Andrew would have ever left her. If it weren't for the very special circumstances that occur, I think Paul would have eventually moved on because Andrew would have never stepped up.

But that's not what happens. It all works out so perfectly It was all just so...tied up in a neat little bow. Like - here's all the parts that will make this okay! - kind of thing. It...well, I guess I still judged.



In the end though, even with the judging, I enjoyed it (sort of). I would have liked to have seen more of Lon and Casey, but I liked Paul, I enjoyed Paul and Andrew's navigation of their relationship, and the way they worked together to build a life.

For those who don't mind cheating, and love medium angst sexy romances with some bible preachy bits.

Advanced Review Galley copy of Safe in His Heart provided by Dreamspinner Press in exchange of an honest review.

This review has been cross-posted at Gay Book Reviews.

[Maja (The Nocturnal Library) · Rating 3 out of 5]

Those of you who are familiar with Renae Kaye’s work probably know her as this bright little Aussie ray of sunshine. Her books are always clever, always honest, always heartfelt, but they rarely follow any usual romance tropes and angst is a word that’s simply missing from her vocabulary. I honestly love everything about Renae and her books have become comfort rereads I pick up when I want to smile, laugh outright and generally feel good about myself and about the world.

Because of this, Safe in His Heart came as a complete surprise. It’s a pretty serious book that represents a new direction for Renae. It’s mostly about that uncomfortable place between religion and conviction, about catholic guilt and living the life you think you’re supposed to and not the life you actually want to live. The truth of the matter is that Safe in His Heart is a necessary book. Finding balance between what we’ve been taught to believe and what we know is right in our hearts and minds is difficult not just for LGBTQAI folks, but for us allies as well. As someone who’s a former catholic precisely for this reason and who’s struggled with these issues for a very long time, I applaud Renae for choosing this direction in her latest book.

His whole life Andrew was told that being gay is dirty, wrong, sick, so he did what he had to do, married a woman he didn’t love and had two kids he pretty much lives for. That doesn’t stop him from having anonymous hook ups in gym showers, however. It’s easy to see Andrew as a coward and judge him, but while he does fear his parents and the rest of his community, the vast majority of his problems are actually internal. The self-hatred and the guilt are what’s stopping him from being true to himself.

We’ve met Paul in Lon’s story, but here we finally get to know him as the brave, bright person that he is. Paul’s religion taught him a completely different lesson from Andrews, which means that being openly gay was never an issue for him. But when he falls for Andrew, all his principles are soon forgotten. The two start an affair that’s as unhealthy for Paul as it is necessary for Andrew.

For the most part, I wanted to shake Paul and force him to dig up his self respect. Although I understood Andrew, I was extremely uncomfortable with how he treated Paul, how he thought about his children and how he preached his misguided beliefs. Even when he chose Paul, I wasn’t convinced in his truthfulness. Mostly I felt that the circumstances forced him to make that choice. So even though I feel that the subject of this book is a necessary one, I also feel that Renae could have handled some things better. I was bound to feel uncomfortable at some point, but I was actually uncomfortable for all the wrong reasons.

Unlike Renae’s other books, this one is not to be chosen for entertainment alone. It makes you think, and even when you don’t like the direction it takes you in, I’d say Renae’s goal was achieved.

[Aerin · Rating 2 out of 5]

2.5 stars

As much as I love Renae Kaye and as nicely written as this book is, it was a bust. There are so many archaic ways of thinking, so many stereotypes that no matter how great the story flowed, no matter that the kids were adorable, no matter how much I liked Paul, I simply ended the book in a rage. I usually review a book as soon as I can after reading it so that my feelings and thoughts are fresh in my head, but this time I had to wait until the next day, otherwise my review would've been a curse-fest.

I know a few reviewers mentioned how the cheating ruined the book for them but I disagree on that note. Andrew is married, yes, but Andrew and his wife have a friendship more than a marriage and their agreement is that their marriage is simply for show (and for having kids) and they can both have sex outside of the marriage as long as they don't have to have sex together. I'm not going to criticize their arrangement (much) because I hate to judge and in this case it worked perfectly for them both. Andrew's many sexual hook-ups can't exactly be considered cheating because hey are encouraged by his wife; the only thing she doesn't know is that Andrew's partners are men.

When Paul and Andrew start hooking up it's clear for them both that this isn't a simply sexual relationship. Andrew is deeply closeted and doesn't have any intention on coming out and ruining his life and his reputation, but the two of them form a close friendship and they end up falling for each other. This is the one and only thing I liked about their relationship, the love I knew they felt for each other. Andrew was a bloody idiot, a religious catholic who believes that gay men are sinners and that gay sex is unnatural; yet he has no problem bending over and taking it in the ass like a pro, sometimes even giving other gym members a show. Double-Standard much???

I got so sick of hearing about Leviticus and all the bullshit that comes with that name! And speaking of religion, did we really need a full sermon about the interpretation of the bible and Jesus's stand on homosexuality? I understand what was intended by Paul's priest but I truly wanted to see Andrew come to that conclusion himself, maybe use his brain and think for himself instead of having the constant 'Jesus hates me' pity party. So yeah, the religion was over-used and it didn't have the intended effects, at least not for me.

Maybe the religion and the other stereotypes (I'll address those shortly) could've been forgiven if not overlooked, if only Andrew and Paul's relationship would've progressed the way you'd expect it to. With the risk of dropping a small spoiler I'll just say that if it wasn't for Andrew's wife leaving him and the kids in order to follow her dreams, Andrew NEVER EVER EVER would've acknowledged Paul as his boyfriend, never would've come out of the closet, and definitely never would've loved Paul like he deserves to be loved. Andrew is a spineless wimp, an asshole who's taken total advantage of Paul's feelings for him and never had the intention of changing their status quo. Fuck that! The least I expect from a situation like this is the intention of doing something to change things for the better, the fight for the one you love because they're worth the sacrifice. It was just too convenient that Andrew's wife left when she left! He never intended to separate from her so that they could both be with the people they loved.

And speaking of Andrew's wife... I sincerely hope Australia doesn't still live in the 16th century when the only thing women were useful for was to bare babies and take care of the house. That was literally all Kristy did throughout her marriage with Andrew and it was one of the reasons she married him. And the fact that that's the only thing Andrew expected from her was disappointing as hell.

There were nice things about this book as well, like the hot sex between Andrew and Paul, the fact that we see Paul in total parenting mode while he takes care of Andrew's kids better than Andrew ever did. Paul with the kids really warmed my heart. And there's a HEA, a nice one, but as much as I liked seeing it, the journey to get there was not what I needed or expected. I sincerely hope the next book will be better because I know Renae Kaye can write some bad-ass books. I think it's Ash's story so that should be good.

[Vallie · Rating 1 out of 5]

** 1.5 stars**

Although I loved the first book in the series, Safe in his arms, the second instalment wasn’t quite as much of a hit with me.

The main characters were Andrew and Paul. Andrew was a closeted, 30-year old married man with two kids, as well as a successful CEO of a mining company. Andrew had made a deal with his wife: they would present the image of the perfect family to the world, they would have kids, but there would be no relationship between them. Andrew, whose family was deeply religious and would never accept his homosexuality, found relief from the pretending when he opened ” The Vault.” -that was when he let himself feel attraction towards other men and acted on it.

Paul was a 33-year old nurse, a member of the gym Andrew visited, out and proud, and with a supportive family. Paul was deeply attracted to Andrew and Andrew’s insistent pursuit eventually wore Paul down. Even though Paul did not want to be a home wrecker, he agreed to an affair with Andrew and accepted that they would have to hide.

Soooooooo many problems. I was upset and irritated for the majority of the book. Cheating in my books? It makes it all the more difficult for a character to redeem himself. No matter how “justified” it comes off as and no matter how “victimless” the tryst seems –considering the wife knew Andrew would have affairs, I just could not forgive Andrew for it because he refused to grow a pair and own up to it. Andrew was a character I simply failed to warm up to. Not just because of the hiding, but his attitudes were infuriatingly self-serving. Women were meant to be good little housewives with no ambition in this story, a view that was perpetuated not only by Andrew, but by his personal assistant. Here she is talking to Paul about her boss: “He employs thousands. He’s respected far and wide. You’ve got yourself a rich and powerful man there. That man doesn’t have time for childcare and wayward wives.”

Goodness no. Childcare would be so beneath such a powerful man, wouldn’t it?

And when things went wrong with the wife, Andrew was so ridiculously hypocritical about it all. How dare she hurt his children? How dare she upset his world? A world, which, by the way, he practically wasn’t part of, considering he did not know a single fucking thing about the day-to-day life of his “family.” He did not know where his kids day care was, who did the shopping, or even how much groceries cost. The hell dude? You call yourself a CEO and you’re so out of touch, you don’t even know the price of mince?

I think Paul deserved better and although I have to give it to him for calling Andrew out on his BS on a couple of occasions, I think Paul got his happy ending out of sheer luck and not because Andrew took the reins. It honestly could have gone the other way around, with Andrew pretending forever and ever and chickening out from leaving his wife.

Andrew’s main issue with accepting his homosexuality and coming out was a verse from the bible that had been drilled into him as a child. He felt ashamed and like a sinner for the majority of the book. I have read books with religious characters before and books where religion is portrayed as harmful and oppressive. Again, it was a bit OTT. All this religious mambo jumbo started sounding quite pedantic after a while and I was over it.

It was nice seeing glimpses of Casey and Lon from book 1 but it made me wonder why they came off so dramatic and over the top. Were they like this in book 1 and I can’t remember for some reason? Who knows.

I personally found some of the views adopted by characters in the book offensive. I suggest you read other reviews before deciding whether to give this a shot or not, but I cannot recommend.

ARC provided by the publisher in exchange for an honest review. See this review at Gay Book Reviews.

[Lelyana's Reviews · Rating 5 out of 5]

Before you read the book, this is a fair warning from me. Don't judge Andrew before you finish the whole book. Since the first book, I knew who's Paul involved with and I hated Andrew and never thought that Paul will ended with Andrew. Andrew of all people ! How stupid Paul is? Well, love is stupid, and blind, and unreasonable.



Paul knew from the first time at the gym that Andrew is a married man and he can't stop wanting him. If there's anyone to blame, who's to blame? I'd say, no one. Because, yeah...You know my answer, love is 'unreasonable'.

Andrew has a reason why he's having affairs when he's still married. He has a reason, and I do understand his reason. Because if you lived a life Andrew's life, you'll probably do the same.
Andrew just loved his parents to the level slavery and unhealthy. Andrew loves his two children and put them above all, above his own happiness.

He was being stupid once, when he married that woman (I don't even want to mention her name), out of love of his parents (or afraid, I have no idea) and to respect his religion which is has the same idea with my religion about homosexuals. So...



Here came Paul, handsome, sweet, accepted who he is , 'unconditionally', and he fell hard for Paul. No more fling, no more gym sex with others after Paul. The 'fucking agreement' became addiction, and their addiction became love. And Andrew and Paul can't get the hell out of the situation. Finding their happiness, or let Andrew back to his family.

Let's thank to his so called wife, that he can finally can be with Paul in the end. And you'll know why Andrew did what he did, because that woman did what he did even before Andrew did what he did. Confuse? Read again. Got what I mean. Yeah. It's about the cheating thing. Why I wasn't mad of Andrew for cheating? I won't call it a cheating though. They have 'agreement', from the first time even before Andrew married that woman. Cheating is my hard limit. But in Andrew's case, I think I can make it exceptional.



This is not an easy read for some people though, if you're opposed to religion talk, people afraid of God and cheating (not) in their unhappy cold married life, don't read this book. If you're like me, and love Paul so much and wants to learn to love Andrew (because he's the one who need some TLC even more), this is the book for you.

I enjoyed this story, I enjoyed Andrew and Paul, and hey, there's Lon and Casey revisited. well done, Renae !

*All teaser pictures provided by Author*

[Sara · Rating 3 out of 5]

Me da mucha rabia darle entre 2'5 y 3 estrellas a este libro :(

Es una autora que me gusta y el libro anterior en esta serie me gustó muchísimo pero por por desgracia este libro para mí no ha sido tan bueno. Esta bien escrito y la historia no es mala pero algunas cosas just rub me the wrong way!!

No me ha gustado nada la forma en que Andrew trata a Paul en la primera parte del libro. Querrás estar con él pero lo tratas como un sucio secreto y no hables de tú vida cotidiana no vaya ser qué " comprensivo, fiel y un cielo " Paul se le vaya la lengua!!! Actuando como un cobarde y poniendo a tus hijos como excusa..argfhh!!
Paul esta ahí al pié del cañón apoyándole con todos sus problemas y no se merece ser tratado así!!!

La mujer es una mujer florero que sólo se casa con Andrew para cumplir con su papel de cristiana y tener hijos pero que no duda en dejarlos e irse de casa con su antiguo amor!!!

La parte religiosa me canso mucho también, teniendo los dilemas que tiene Andrew lo veo normal... pero cansa :/

Más de una vez quería darle un par de collejas a Andrew para ver si tenía cerebro o aire XDD

Lo bueno es que hay mucha química y sexy times que han hecho junto con los niños agradable el resto del libro ; )

Espero que el próximo libro sea sobre Devon y Ash!!! Quiero verlos juntos!! ^ ^

[Katrina Passick Lumsden · Rating 2 out of 5]

Once again, Daniela's review accurately sums up how I feel about this book. I too love Renae Kaye's writing, and the first book in this series is one of my absolute favorite romance reads. This one, however, was a tad disappointing, and that disappointment has a name; Andrew.

[⚣Michaelle⚣ · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.4 Stars

Okay, so first off that book summary on the main page is completely misleading. That said, there is a lot about religion here to get mad at - but the bits on learning about the new teachings and Jesus were only in the last 20% or so.

No, what we get here is a detailed description of daily life, struggling with jobs & child-rearing with a few really hot sex scenes. And when I mean detailed, I mean detailed. From bathing, feeding, cleaning, dressing, playing with, driving, schooling to everything else you can imagine taking care of children...well, it's here. Repeatedly. The worst part is that I usually LOVE instant family stories...but this one just got too bogged down in the minutiae of it all.

There were some good bits about what makes a parent, and for the most part the absent mom wasn't demonized (until she started acting like a bitch) which I appreciated. Because just like Andrew married to get everyone off his back, Christy kinda did too, and mom/wife wasn't a role she necessarily wanted all the time as well. (Except for when she did, for appearances sake - which kept people off her back. Vicious cycle there.)

Paul was a little too perfect; I almost wish he'd gone off the rails for a bit with the added stress of a family he wasn't ready for...but no. *sigh*

Anywho, it wasn't awful enough to keep me from listening to the next one, though. Well, when it's published. (Speaking of, it's really really weird to hear an American narrator for a firmly Aussie-set story, especially when he kept having to say "arse" and it was just so awkward. We Americans should never be allowed to say that word because we always fuck it up.)

[CrabbyPatty · Rating 2 out of 5]

2.5 stars. Andrew and Kristy hardly have a fairy tale marriage. Kristy was traumatized by a breakup with a boyfriend who refused to leave his wife. Andrew was trying hard to ignore his “sinful urges” and marry a woman like the Bible told him. The day he stood in front of the altar of Kristy’s church and promised to love and honor her, he lied. He looked Kristy in the eye and lied, and she looked him in the eye and lied right back.

Andrew and Kristy have a marriage contract, not a marriage – sex only for procreation (12 times in six years) and each can have lovers. Andrew works and Kristy takes care of the two children, except when Andrew comes home an occasional evening before the kids are in bed to play with them. Granted, he truly loves his children but he is unaware of their daily lives. Although Kristy seems to be depressed and sleeps most of the day, Andrew is upset only when the children are unfed at night. Andrew goes to a gym to work out, mostly to meet men, and once he meets Paul they enter into a sexual relationship where they meet in motels and hotels. Then one day, Kristy leaves him and the children behind to get back with her ex-boyfriend.

This book was a difficult one to review. It was hard to move beyond the initial feelings generated by a very unlikable (and self-hating) Andrew and concentrate on the love story between Andrew and Paul. Granted, the sexual relationship between Andrew and Paul is steamy and when it moves beyond sex to a deeper relationship, it is touching. But the pace of the book bogs down in the middle with Andrew and Paul learning how to care for the children, and Andrew trying (badly) to come to terms with his sexual orientation. Andrew comments I didn’t want to be gay, Paul. Why did God make me gay? and I mean, I didn’t want to be gay. Who would choose to be gay, if they had the choice?

Also, the book blurb makes it appear the book is mostly about religion – Andrew’s anti-gay Catholicism and Paul’s faith. But there is little in the story about religion until about Chapter 22 when Andrew meets with his priest and Paul tells him of the inclusive church he attends with a child-friendly service.

Finally, I believe that Andrew would NEVER have come out of the closet and/or left his wife and only crawled out of said closet because his wife left him shortly after he found Paul. And if I had to read one more time about his “gay lover” I was going to toss my Kindle across the room, as in What does one say when one’s secret gay lover is sitting down at the table purchased by one’s wayward wife, talking to one’s conservatively Catholic mother and drinking coffee? – oh, the horror. Or A part of Andrew cringed with embarrassment. The CEO of Cabott’s was almost begging his gay lover to help him drop off his own kids at day care? Sigh …..

This book did not work for me. The plot was too convoluted, Andrew was very unlikable and for only 270 pages the book “read slow.”

I received an ARC of this book from Dreamspinner Press, via Gay Book Reviews, in exchange for an honest review.

Visit my blog, Sinfully Good Gay Book Reviews

[Shelby · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 Stars

[The Novel Approach · Rating 5 out of 5]

Listen to your heart, is the best way to describe this journey/story. Paul is told by many well-meaning friends to stay away from a married man—it will only lead to heartbreak. In Paul’s head, he agrees with them. But in his heart, he doesn’t. He loves Andrew. A great quote, in Paul’s words: “You all can be pissy on my happiness parade. But I know that somehow it’s going to work out.”

Andrew has spent way too long listening to other well-meaning friends and family. Being gay is a sin and the only true way to live your life is with a wife and children. One of the recurring themes in this story is Andrew’s thoughts about “the vault.” Andrew describes the vault in many ways, but the one I took notice of was, “that was where his true self was allowed to come and play,” and “without that outlet you could explode into a billion pieces.” Those two quotes really summed up Andrew and his struggles for me. To stay in a traditional marriage, he needed to rely on his vault. And once in a while he needed to allow himself an outlet, or explode. Maybe that would have worked for Andrew, keeping his two lives separate with the use of his vault, but life does have a way of getting in the way of the best laid plans.

Kristy leaving and falling in love with Paul are two major hurdles that Andrew has to come to terms with, and hurdles they are. And that’s what Renae Kaye does best, in my opinion. Every one of her stories has a way of giving us characters with flaws and problems to overcome, and along the way to self-discovery, she sprinkles in great sex, some conflict and a very satisfying ending.

This book, as with every one of Renae Kaye’s books, is a buy-as-quickly-as-you-can kind of book. Listen to your heart—Safe in His Heart is so worth it!

Reviewed by Kathie for The Novel Approach Reviews
http://www.thenovelapproachreviews.co...

[Arzu · Rating 4 out of 5]

3,5 stars

[Tjarde · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5

[Anto64 · Rating 4 out of 5]

4 stelline e mezzo

[Jaime · Rating 4 out of 5]

4 Stars -
Safe in His Heart is book two in the Safe series by Author Renae Kaye. This story runs paralleled to book one and has some overlap; however, you can enjoy this book without reading book one of the series. The MC in this story are Paul and Andrew. Andrew is a closeted married successful businessman who has been trying to live up to someone else's standards his entire life. He is unfulfilled in life. His marriage is a sham and one of total convenience for both him and his wife. The only thing that keeps him sane are his children and his occasional hookups to let off steam. Paul, is a character we met in book one of the series, Safe in his Arms, he is a self-Assured gay man who wants to settle down with his forever man. Just so happens the man who he is currently involved with is already married.

Let me say, I understand this is a work of fiction. I do. I still can't stand cheating. No, I am not some spinster who has been cheated on and loathes all males (at least not that I know of). Yes, I understand that in this book, Andrew was in a unique marriage - a loveless one, a sham. It is still cheating and by a man so afraid to come out of the closet, lest he burn in hell -- yet he is okay with breaking his vows of forsaking all others. So yes, that part of this story screams hypocrisy and was just a little irritating. Did I let it stop me from reading the story? No. I wanted to see how Andrew and Paul's ending turned out.

Paul. He is a character that I really felt bad for in parts of this story. He was treated like a doormat. His feelings were overlooked and walked on, and he was taken for granted. Eventually though, Andrew redeemed himself and I didn't have to throw my kindle across the room or out the window. I have to hand it to our author she was able to elicit real emotion in me as I read this story.

I am not going to mention Andrews Wife other than to say, she is a waste of space and air -- completely worthless individual in my book.

I know my review sounds negative, but I really did enjoy the story and like I said Renae Kaye wrote a story that called to me as the reader on a visceral level. I was very emotionally invested in this story and I read it all in one sitting. Couldn't put it down. This is one of those books that based on your own beliefs you will either love or hate, or maybe like me you will love to hate certain parts and be enthralled by the rest. There is some extremely hot scenes between Andrew and Paul and I am sure the next time I see the inside of a locker room images of them will run through my mind!

Overall 4 Stars to this story and I can't wait to see what this author brings next!

❥❥**´¨)
¸.•´¸.•*´¨) ¸.•*¨)
(¸.•´ (¸.•`*ARC provided by Author in exchange for an honest review.
Reviewed by Jaime from Alpha Book Club

[Marthea · Rating 3 out of 5]

3,25
Pierwsza część naprawdę mi się podobała. Druga - już nie tak bardzo... A dlaczego? Andrew... Och, jak bardzo mnie irytował. Jakim był hipokrytą. I tak naprawdę wszystko, na czym mu zależało przez baaaaardzo długi czas, to było to, co ludzie powiedzą... co rodzice powiedzą... co ksiądz powie... co społeczeństwo powie... co sąsiedzi powiedzą... Zatem robi wszystko, by z zewnątrz dla wszystkich wszystko było jak trzeba. Ślub, żona, dzieci... Nieskazitelny facet żyjący zgodnie z tym, co Bóg powiedział i nakazał. Nieważne, jak zakłamane było jego życie. Nieważne, że z żoną zawarł układ, żeby nikt z rodziny im dupy nie zawracał, że już czas na założenie rodziny. Że się nie kochali. Że składając przysięgę przed Bogiem, którego tak się bali i który został im wbity w umysł jako nieomylny, najwyższy i karzący grzeszników za ich grzechy - skłamali patrząc sobie prostu w oczy. Że nigdy nie zamierzali dochować tej przysięgi. Że ona kochała innego, ale nie mogła go mieć, bo był żonaty. Że on był gejem, ale to grzech i nikt by mu nie wybaczył, wszyscy by go wyklęli, wymazali ze swojego życia i próbowali odprawić egzorcyzmy. Że dzieci zostały poczęte przy zgaszonym świetle i zaciśniętych zębach z obu stron. Że dostał ciche pozwolenie od żony, żeby robił, co chce i z kim chce, byle by nikt się o tym nie dowiedział i żeby ona nie została w zaangażowana. Że pieprzył facetów w łazienkach, hotelach, choć wierzył, że to grzech. Że wstydził się, że jest gejem, ale jednak natury oszukać nie mógł. Ale fasada.... fasada musiała być nieskazitelna. I taki też zewnątrz był Andrew. A kiedy wyzwalał się na moment z tych więzów? Och, zdecydowanie wiedział, co lubi i co chce - i kobiety były od tego tal daleko, jak tylko mogły być. Ale nawet kiedy żona od niego odchodzi do dawnej miłości, nie jest w stanie się przyznać do pewnych rzeczy...

Andrew oczywiście się ogarnia w końcu, ale... jak dla mnie za późno. Wrażenie niesmaku zostaje...
I gdyby nie Paul - który jest absolutnie po prostu KOCHANY 💙, to ocena byłaby niższa...

[Joyfully Jay · Rating 3 out of 5]

A Joyfully Jay review.

3.5 stars

I am a big fan of Renae Kaye’s writing and loved Safe in His Arms, the first book in this series where we meet Paul as a side character. So I was really excited to see Paul getting his own story, especially one with such an interesting set up. I liked the conflict here, with two men who have religious backgrounds, but ones that are vastly different. Paul comes to the relationship from a place of acceptance, while Andrew hasn’t been able to let go of the feeling that his actions are a sin. Tied up in that are Andrew’s children, who he adores, and he will not do anything to risk his relationship with him. As usual Kaye writes some steamy scenes and I found the writing to be solid.

However, I did find myself with quite a few issues with this story that sadly left me somewhat disappointed in this one. First off, I had a really hard time feeling the connection between these two guys. I think it is because a lot of the early part of the book they aren’t together except for sex. Or at least their getting to know you time happens off page. So by the time they are serious about one another, we hadn’t seen much but the steamy stuff and I never really felt these guys as a couple. Even as the book progressed, their connection never really worked for me and I had a hard time getting behind them.

Read Jay’s review in its entirety here.

[Claire Potterton · Rating 4 out of 5]

I started this book with some trepidation. The author is a favourite of mine and the religious aspect of the story interested me, whilst the cheating made me a little nervous. (My nerves were unfounded.)
As always with Renae Kaye's work, this book is beautifully written, the story flows seamlessly, the characters so well described and developed that you feel you know them.
As a somewhat disillusioned Christian, the religious part of this story was really rather uplifting. A reminder that not all Christians are bigots, not all churches are discriminatory and exclusive, and that people can broaden their opinions and learn to be accepting and tolerant. I think I needed this reminder just now!
Andrew and Paul's relationship is beautiful, regardless of its beginning. These are two men who love each other desperately, who lift each other up, support one another, and ultimately make each other incredibly happy. This is NOT a story of a man cheating on a committed, faithful wife - it's the story of a man who, having lived a lie for both of their convenience, being in a position to finally be free to be honest about who he is and what he wants. It's a story about self-acceptance and incredible courage and love.

I highly recommend this wonderful love story!

Reviewed for divinemagazine.net

[Kim Stone · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wow what a beautiful story. I’ve read this author before and her usual style is light and humorous. This book covers some heavy topics and it’s done wonderfully. This is a mm contemporary story set in Perth, Western Australia. This is a must read. 500 stars!

[25 Readings Or More · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5

[Morgan Skye · Rating 3 out of 5]

Paul is Lon’s BFF whom we met in Safe in His Arms. We knew something hinky was going on with Paul by the way he was reluctant to share who his new love interest was and then we found out he’s a married man. Oh. Man.

So that gives us an instant set of judgments about both men – right? Cheating makes a lot of us squirm and makes us feel uncomfortable. Casey – Lon’s beau, is up front about it. He tells Paul it’ll all end in misery so he should end it now. In fact, most of the people in Paul’s life give him similar advice. Lon – not so wordy our Lon – tells him to be careful, but doesn’t tell him to stop seeing the guy.

Paul – himself – know it’s a bad idea, but he just can’t stop himself. Andrew – the cheating husband – is just so needy and hits Paul’s buttons just right.

Andrew – for his part – is a confused soul. He wants to please his family, is worried about his soul, and his job but most importantly he worries about his kids. He loves gay sex but he doesn’t love being gay. He’s had a crush on Paul for months before Paul finally caves in to an affair. Once they begin they soon realize this is more than a hook-up, but what can ever happen between them?

So –I don’t think this is a spoiler when I tell you up front – Andrew’s marriage is a sham. He and his wife are really just friends and roommates – it’s all explained in the first few chapters – but even given that information – the idea of them getting a divorce and Andrew being out and proud is a still a pretty dim prospect.

Of course, as the story moves on, things change – but for most of the first-half of the story, Andrew is stuck between a rock and a hard place – warring between what he wants and what he wants to want.


**
First let me say that I love and adore Renae Kaye and have loved each and every book she’s written and listened/read them over and over. They’re just that awesome! Safe in His Arms is soooo good and I was really psyched to see this book in the pipeline.

I had my reservations when I saw the blurb – cheating, married, religion… - uh-oh. These are all things I usually avoid like the plague. I won’t lie. They didn’t strike my fancy one bit. But – It’s Renae – it’s gonna be good right?

Well… mostly.

Though it truly pains me to do so – I can’t say that I loved this. I liked it and was definitely pleasantly surprised that I was able to get over the religion/cheating/marriage thing pretty easily. Those weren’t my issues with this story – not really.

What I didn’t love was the relationship itself between Andrew and Paul. God, it felt so lop-sided. Andrew is mostly a jerk through most of the book and doesn’t quite redeem himself by the end.

Paul – for his part – just gives and gives and gives – and – I’m not sure what he got for all his troubles.

The part that was missing for me is the relationship stuff apart from the sex. Sure – I see how compatible these guys are in bed. I can also see how “helping” is something that a nurse like Paul would be really attractive in a relationship. But Andrew – aside from the sex and getting a new “mother” for his kids – doesn’t seem to really like Paul. He doesn’t treat him with respect and the two don’t spend much time together not in bed. So I had some serious doubts about them as a long term couple.

I thought Erica was THE BEST and I loved Paul’s family and the glimpses of Ash and Devon we see again. (Hope they get their own book next!)

The writing and editing is excellent – no faults there. I just didn’t gel with the couple as well this time.

I applaud Renae for her willingness to tackle both these big subjects in a way that is believable and authentic and I think she achieved those goals. The couple just needed some time to themselves – on page – to convince me they had what it took to make it long term.

3.5 of 5 stars

Audio

I opted to review this because sometimes a good narrator can really change my opinion on a book and I wanted to give this it’s best shot because I do so love Renae Kaye as an author. But I just have to conceded that this is a no go. Randy Fuller did not attempt an Australian accent, he made Paul sound a bit off, was way too old sounding in general and did nothing to improve my opinion of this story. In fact, it was a bit worse.

2 of 5 stars

I can’t recommend this audio but I’d still say (for the book) to look at several reviews before making up your mind and go from there.

Overall 2.75 of 5 stars (rounded to 3)

[Feliz · Rating 3 out of 5]

I loved the first book in the series, Safe in his Arms, and so I jumped at the chance to read this one. Even more so since I really liked Paul’s attitude in the first book, that mixture of snark and levelheadedness. I’d call Safe in his Heart more of a spin-off of the first book, they overlap for a big part, and some of the first book’s cast make appearances here (YAY for more Lon and Casey!).

However, Paul’s story with Andrew left me somewhat disappointed. I’m usually a big fan of this author’s, and the writing was as good as ever. The book had a good deal of really touching moments, and the sex scenes ranged from beautiful to steaming hot. Also, I liked the way sparks flew between Andrew and Paul right from the start. It was easily comprehensible how they fell in lust and couldn’t get enough of each other, they had that kind of chemistry. Even their ensuing camaraderie and later, friendship, seemed almost inevitable, since their personalities complemented each other so well.

But that’s also where my problems began, because I just couldn’t make myself warm up to Andrew. He started out a hypocrite, a bigot and a coward and he never changed over the course of the story. He never acted on his own initiative but only ever reacted to people and/or circumstances once they looked to fit his convenience. I couldn’t quite fathom what Paul saw in him beyond the hot sex, why he was so dead-set on committing to Andrew who took and took and took from him, took him for granted and never gave anything back to him except more neediness. Helper’s syndrome, maybe? At any rate, this made Paul appear more like a pushover than the caring and desperately loving man he might’ve been supposed to be portrayed as, and I ended up not liking him all that much anymore either.

Then there was the religion thing. Don’t get me wrong, I knew going in that religion would play a big role in this book; it’s stated in the blurb, after all, and religious self-doubts and anguish can add delicious angst and conflict to a story like this. But there’s a thin line between religion as an edgy point of conflict and religion as a convenient excuse for shortcuts, and unfortunately, this story tipped over into the wrong direction for me. The real kicker was a do-gooder priest filling pages with a sermon about why it’s okay for Christians to be gay. This might be a personal thing for me, but I don’t like preaching of any kind, no matter the topic, and certainly not while I’m reading for entertainment. Other people’s mileage may vary on this, though, so—just saying.

Tied with all of the above was Andrew’s marriage and his wife, Kristy. Now she was one of the flattest, most unreal characters I’ve ever come across, more of a prop than a character really. Her seemingly unfounded personality changes threatened to give me whiplash; she turned into whatever the plot required at any given point, from caring mother to selfish dawdler to heartless quitter to homophobic zealot to enthusiastic supporter. On the other hand, their marriage in and of itself didn’t bother me much; they had a rather Victorian arrangement translated into modern times, and I wouldn’t even call what they did to each other cheating, rather acting on mutually agreed-on terms. It was rater the way how Andrew hid behind his marriage as much as he did behind his religion, everything to keep up appearances. I honestly don’t think he’d ever have owned up to what Paul was to him if Kristy hadn’t left him. This was actually the biggest beef I had with Andrew. I felt as if he ended up committing to Paul mostly by accident rather than actually choosing him or even putting forth the slightest effort to make him his.

So yes, I realize most of my issues with this book had to do with my intense dislike of Andrew’s character and personality, which makes it difficult for me as a reviewer to voice an unbiased recommendation either way.

If you’re thinking about picking up this book, by all means, go for it and see for yourself; who knows, if your feelings about Andrew’s personality, about Christian verbiage and convenient excuses differ from mine, you might well end up loving this book to pieces.

[Melissa Mendoza · Rating 3 out of 5]

Title:Safe in His Heart
Author:Renae Heart
Series:Safe, Book #2
Publisher:Dreamspinner
Reviewer:Melissa
Release Date:May 2, 2016
Genre(s):M/M Romance
Page Count:270
Heat Level: 3.5 flames out of 5
Rating: 2.5 stars out of 5
Blurb:

Andrew and Paul learned about God and Jesus in different churches and realize their views of spirituality are worlds apart.

Andrew was raised Catholic and was told his homosexuality was a sin. For his entire life, he hid the truth. He married and had children to present a façade to the world—that of a straight man. It’s not until he has an affair with Paul, who shows him a different side of Jesus, that Andrew realizes he can be gay and still believe in God. Paul’s Jesus is one of acceptance and love, and in Paul’s church, being gay is not a problem.

For Paul and Andrew, falling in love is the easy part of their journey. They must make it through the fires of cheating, being discovered, Andrew’s wife leaving, the necessities of childcare and family life, the demands of their jobs, and working on their commitment to each other. Only then can they be safe in each other’s heart.

Review:
2.5 stars! I had such high hopes for this book, but it left me sad.

So let me start this off by saying I love Renae and all her books, but this one left me bitter and wanting more. I love drama in my book, but this book seemed to be full of drama and Andrew, infuriates me! He had me screaming at my kindle, he’s so frustrating. The cheating, I can get over, it’s a book after all, but the hypocritical views sort of left a bad taste in my mouth.

Although I wasn’t thrilled with this book, I will still continue to read Renae’s books in the future!


ARC provided by author in exchange for an honest review. Reviewed by Melissa from Alpha Book Club

[Feel The Book · Rating 5 out of 5]

Recensione doppia di Victor e ChibiTora per Feel The Book

Recensione di Victor

Renae Kaye è una scrittrice dal talento sorprendente, si apre dolcemente e ti ruba il cuore con rapidità. Ho apprezzato entrambi i romanzi di questa serie ed ognuno di essi, mi ha rubato una parte di cuore e questo libro resterà “Al sicuro nel mio cuore”.
Veniamo trasportati nella realtà di Paul, un infermiere dedito al suo lavoro con una passione troppo spesso dimenticata da molti di noi o dai continui assalti giornalistici di malasanità. La purezza delle parole di Renae hanno lasciato spazio soltanto a far riaffiorare quell’amore e quella dolcezza che solo un infermiere può possedere. Non è soltanto un lavoro, essere un infermiere è un vero e proprio stile di vita come spesso viene sottolineato nel carattere di Paul.

In questo romanzo vengono toccati anche i temi della religione cattolica, credo che ci sia una cura particolare nel descrivere alcuni particolari e vengono messi in relazione con una sconvolgente realtà. Non siamo pronti a credere nell’amore, preferiamo basarci su testi che neanche conosciamo o meglio ci vengono proposti sulla base della conoscenza altrui. Smettiamola di dare delle regole all’amore.

È facile giudicare e lasciare un commento negativo sui comportamenti di Andrew, ma non mi sento di addossargli delle colpe. La natura del proprio animo traspare sempre anche quando cerchiamo di oscurarla o reprimerla.
La delusione di un amore ci fa smarrire e seguire percorsi del tutto diversi da quello che vorremmo per il nostro star bene, ma quello che più mi colpisce di Andrew non è soltanto la complessità della sua storia, ma il suo modo di far coincidere tutto come solo un padre può fare.
Ci sono diversi sentimenti in questo libro ed elencarli tutti vanificherebbe il bellissimo lavoro di Renae.

Un romanzo dolce, passionale e dove l’amore ritrova la giusta strada.

Bisogna lasciarsi avvolgere dai dubbi per trovare la soluzione ai problemi, o meglio quelli che crediamo siano dei problemi. L’amore vince su tutto, ci fa impazzire, sorridere, volare e poi cadere nella disperazione di ritrovarsi per un nuovo sorriso.
C’è sempre bisogno di persone belle nella vita e non trovo personaggio migliore di Paul per la vita di Andrew. Potrei quasi paragonare la vita di Andrew a quella di un malato e la cura è sicuramente la presenza continua di Paul.

Ci si innamora subito di quest’uomo ed è quasi un esempio da imitare nella realtà. Per quanto paradossale avrei fatto tutte le scelte di Paul. Certamente sono scelte coraggiose che soltanto un cuore impavido come il suo poteva affrontare con la stessa semplicità. Come ho specificato nella parte iniziale, essere un infermiere è una scelta di vita che condiziona tutti i gesti in ogni momento.
 Mi trattengo dal parlarvi di varie scene in cui Paul ha avuto un punto fondamentale nell’evoluzione della storia, non perché rischierei di farvi uno spoiler, ma perché non troverei le giuste parole per raccontarlo.

Leggetelo tutto di un fiato senza pensare a quale sia la scelta giusta, non ne avrete il tempo perché gli occhi corrono veloci tra le righe e ogni capitolo vi lascerà con la domanda: “E poi cosa succede?”
Lasciate che l’amore di Paul e Andrew entri a far parte delle vostre letture e soprattutto custoditelo “Al sicuro tra i vostri cuori”, come già sto facendo io.


Recensione di ChibiTora

Devo confessarvi che ho scritto e cancellato ben quattro volte questa recensione, perché non ero mai soddisfatta, mi sembrava sempre di non averci messo nulla di significativo, che mancasse qualcosa.
Avevo scritto di Paul e Andrew, del loro amore che nasce da un’attrazione fisica molto potente e che cresce nonostante i mille ostacoli che la vita ha posto loro davanti e si trasforma in un sentimento profondo e tenace; di Andrew e della sua presa di coscienza di sé, del suo rompere le catene imposte da un’educazione religiosa rigida, bigotta e soffocante grazie al sentimento che sviluppa per Paul, un amore che non è più un peccato da consumare dietro la porta di un albergo a ore, ma un legame da gridare al mondo.

Tutto giusto, il loro crescere come individui e come coppia è molto bello e realistico, per una volta ci troviamo davanti a protagonisti “umani”, che fanno scelte discutibili, a volte per accontentare la società e la famiglia, che per “quieto vivere” annullano il proprio vero io, che non riescono a staccarsi da sentimenti che sanno già essere destinati al fallimento e al dolore, che cercano in ogni modo di far funzionare le cose nel momento in cui capiscono di non poter rinunciare l’uno all’altro.

Ma poi mi son resa conto che ciò che mi ha davvero colpito di questo libro non è la loro storia d’amore, ma piuttosto la storia di una violenza, subdola e strisciante, orribile nella sua naturalezza e quotidianità, una violenza perpetrata ai danni di chi è obbligato a uniformarsi ai dettami rigidi e intransigenti di una cultura che vede nel “diverso” un abominio agli occhi di un Dio di cui si insegna solo la faccia severa di giudice intransigente e non quella del padre amorevole che ci ama per come siamo e non per come dovremmo essere.

Ed è sotto questa luce che ho compreso che ciò che mancava alle mie precedenti versioni della recensione era Kristy, la moglie di Andrew.
Perché se apparentemente è solo l’ostacolo sul percorso della storia d’amore dei protagonisti, se a un certo punto appare come una donna egoista e superficiale, in realtà è la chiave per capire davvero il mondo di Andrew; perché è anche lei vittima di un sistema che ha spinto entrambi a creare una famiglia “di facciata”, un’immagine perfetta da presentare al “loro” mondo che non può contemplare che una persona possa avere aspirazioni diverse dall’essere marito, moglie, genitore.

È una cattiva madre? Forse, o forse no, forse lo sarebbe stata di più continuando a tenere in piedi un matrimonio farsa piuttosto che inseguire ciò che realmente sente il suo cuore. E forse senza il suo sconsiderato atto di “emancipazione” Andrew non avrebbe mai trovato il coraggio di uscire allo scoperto e costruirsi un futuro fatto di amore e non di dovere.

Kristy c’è sempre, c’è all’inizio nei pensieri di Paul, per cui è la donna che può stare al fianco di Andrew alla luce del sole, quella che gli ha donato due figli e una famiglia che lui non potrà mai dargli; c’è a metà, figura “ideale” di madre con cui entrambi devono confrontarsi, c’è alla fine a fianco di entrambi a sostegno di una famiglia “nuova” che vuole crescere ed essere “accettata” pur nella sua anticonvenzionalità.

In conclusione vi consiglio caldamente la lettura di questo libro che ho amato moltissimo, forse più del precedente capitolo della serie che già mi era piaciuto molto, proprio perché la storia mi è apparsa più “complessa” e sfaccettata, ricca di molti spunti di riflessione, dove il giusto e sbagliato sfumano i propri confini in un territorio in cui l’accettazione e l’amore trionfano.


Editing recensioni rispettivamente a cura di Lilith e Ash

[Sadonna · Rating 4 out of 5]

I liked Paul from Safe in His Arms and was happy to read his story. I likefd Andrew and his love for his children in this book. I wasn't so convinced about Kristy and her quick turnaround, but I was impressed that she put the needs of her children first and maybe she was at least someone realistic about what she really wanted.

I also loved Paul's family. It was good to see Lon and Casey and Ash and Devon again as well. This story sort of overlaps the same time frame as the previous book and while this book can be read as a stand alone it's good to have the context for Lon and Casey and company from the first book. If Ms. Kaye ever decides to write M/F stories, I'd love to read Nadia's story and I think Erica also deserves an HEA. I think Paul and Andrew will make cracking good uncles :-)

Not a big fan of religion or the havoc it causes, so I'm not really going to comment on that aspect of the story except to say that I liked Father John. I'm sorry that so many people feel the need to repress themselves to fit some box that someone else has drawn for them.

[Shannon · Rating 4 out of 5]

I'm not sure that I would give this a full 4 stars but maybe a bit more than 3.5. There were a lot of things that really bothered me but it wasn't the writing style, which I love, more of the story line. A total cheater book even though Andrew had permission, he was still married. Andrew was probably the part of the book that bugged me the most. What a fucking hypocrite! Being gay is so sinful that he feels he must hide who he is but has no problem bending over in the gym showing and having people watch him getting fucked. What?!? And his wife Kristy, I hated her. Even at the end, I wanted her to get hit by a bus or something equally brutal. There is no redeeming yourself after the things she did. Paul on the other hand was a great character. Just an all around wonderful guy who happens to fall for a married man. I'd like to believe that Andrew would have eventually picked Paul himself but I'm not convinced since the powerful CEO was such a whiny pussy regarding his life. The religion aspect was awful but I always think the religion parts of any book are awful. I don't read these to get a freaking sermon but whatever. Did I like it? Yes but a lot of things bothered me.

[Babette Brown · Rating 4 out of 5]

(TERESA SICILIANO)
Un m/m molto interessante * * * *

Romanzo un po’ insolito per il genere.

Innanzitutto non si tratta di un new adult perché Andrew e Paul sono uomini adulti, anzi Andrew è anche sposato con due figli, legato alla moglie da una specie di matrimonio di convenienza.

Il tema principale è quello morale e religioso: Andrew viene da una famiglia cattolica integralista e quindi vive come anormale e peccaminoso il suo orientamento sessuale gay (a causa del celebre passo Levitico 18,22). Paul, invece, è anglicano e gli mostrerà la possibilità di un cristianesimo diverso, più moderno e più tollerante.

In subordine l’autrice sviluppa per un verso la tematica sulla fedeltà e sull’impegno, dall’altra la dialettica attivo/passivo.

Si tratta di una storia soprattutto sentimentale che vuole affermare la possibilità di una famiglia felice con due “padri”. Meno interessanti e riuscite le scene di sesso vere e proprie.

Alcuni refusi di troppo.

[Romanticamente Fantasy · Rating 4 out of 5]

"Paul. Si chiamava Paul. Andrew immagazzinò quell’informazione nella parte del suo cervello che chiamava “Lo Scrigno”. Era quel luogo dove concedeva alla sua vera identità di uscire allo scoperto e divertirsi e che era ben segregato rispetto al resto della sua vita. Solitamente lo Scrigno non interferiva con il lavoro o con la famiglia. Veniva aperto per brevi periodi, di solito per quel primo lavoretto di mano nella doccia al mattino, per poi essere di nuovo sigillato. Ultimamente, però, quella parte di sé faceva capolino sempre più spesso. Paul. Un nome semplice. Diretto. Completo. Esattamente come l’uomo a cui apparteneva, un fusto che Andrew non avrebbe dovuto notare. Ma che aveva notato. Andava in palestra da quando aveva sposato Kristy. Era una scusa per uscire di casa, per di più con regolarità. Se passi un’ora al pub ogni giorno, la gente inizia a volerti “salvare” o a giudicare il tuo tempo come sprecato, se comparato alle loro vite e ai loro bisogni così importanti. Ma se dici che vai in palestra ti lasciano tutti in pace."

Dalla Bibbia Levitico 18:20 Non peccherai con la moglie del tuo prossimo per contaminarti con lei.
21 Non lascerai passare alcuno dei tuoi figli a Moloch e non profanerai il nome del tuo Dio. Io sono il Signore.
22 Non avrai con maschio relazioni come si hanno con donna: è abominio. 23 Non ti abbrutirai con alcuna bestia per contaminarti con essa; la donna non si abbrutirà con una bestia; è una perversione. 24 Non vi contaminate con nessuna di tali nefandezze; poiché con tutte queste cose si sono contaminate le nazioni che io sto per scacciare davanti a voi…

Una frase, una semplice, breve, frase: Levitico 18,22 Non avrai con maschio relazioni come si hanno con donna: è abominio.

In una riga è concentrato ciò che ha amareggiato la vita di Andrew, il senso di colpa che lo ha portato a nascondere la sua natura e i suoi desideri. Nato in una famiglia molto religiosa e cattolica, per Andrew prendere coscienza dei suoi istinti è stato difficile e doloroso. Per adeguarsi, a ciò che gli altri si aspettano da lui, ha sposato Kristy da cui ha avuto due figli che ama moltissimo, conduce una vita tranquilla e all’apparenza senza problemi. Nella sua mente c’è una parte segreta che lui chiama “Lo Scrigno”, in cui conserva i ricordi dei fugaci incontri che si concede in cui, per un momento, può essere davvero se stesso. Sono incontri vissuti in posti squallidi, nei bagni di qualche locale, nelle docce delle palestre, con uomini che per lui non contano niente e che non sanno nemmeno chi sia, e perciò prova vergogna.

Nella palestra che frequenta, un uomo, Paul, lo intriga in modo particolare. Quando finalmente ha la possibilità di passare qualche ora con lui, per la prima volta dal suo matrimonio, organizza un incontro in un motel. Paul è un infermiere, ama il suo lavoro e non ha mai nascosto le sue preferenze sessuali, Andrew gli piace molto, ma inizialmente tenta di resistere all’attrazione sapendolo sposato. Solo dopo la costante insistenza di Andrew, che gli rivelerà la natura del suo matrimonio, cederà. Quello che avrebbe dovuto rimanere un incontro fugace si rivela l’inizio di una relazione importante. Il giovane infermiere non è solo sesso: è amicizia, comprensione e, pian piano, prende un posto ben definito nella sua vita altrimenti normale e monotona. I momenti di grande felicità saranno per Andrew quelli vissuti nei loro incontri clandestini.

Nessuno dei due riesce a vedere un lieto fine.

Paul soffre nell’essere il colpevole segreto, sa che questa storia finirà per farlo soffrire e più volte pensa di chiuderla, ma improvvisamente nella vita di Andrew accade qualcosa che la stravolge e quello che sembrava un sogno impossibile può diventare realtà con l’aiuto di un po’ di coraggio.

Paul è un personaggio solare, risulta da subito simpatico, vive la sua vita alla luce del sole, ama il suo lavoro ed è sinceramente affezionato ai suoi pazienti. Pur non essendo cattolico è comunque molto religioso e il sapere che Andrew è sposato, e ha dei figli, è per lui un problema morale molto grande.

Andrew, invece, almeno all’inizio, è un personaggio che non ho amato. L’autrice lo introduce mentre ha un rapporto nella doccia della palestra, disposto a farsi vedere da chiunque sia di passaggio in quel momento, e questo a mio avviso stona molto con il desiderio di segretezza su quella parte della sua vita. In un primo tempo le sue intenzioni verso Paul sono tutt’altro che romantiche: lo vede come la possibilità di creare altri bei ricordi per il suo scrigno, in modo da poterli rivivere nella mente nei momenti di solitudine. Ma pian piano il suo atteggiamento muta: lo scoprirsi innamorato lo porta a diventare tanto coraggioso da ammettere la verità anche con la sua famiglia.

I personaggi di contorno sono interessanti e complessi, hanno una parte rilevante nella storia; Kristy, per esempio, è una donna che ha accettato di vivere un matrimonio senza amore perché desiderava solo avere dei figli, e che scoprirà di volere di più; Erica è l’impareggiabile segretaria che si rivelerà una vera amica per entrambi.

Quella che ci regala l’autrice è una storia in cui il senso di colpa ha una grande parte nella vita di ogni personaggio, fatta di apparenze, dove niente è come sembra.

Tutti, tranne Paul, hanno acconsentito a indossare una maschera. Sarà proprio lui, la sua capacità di mettersi in gioco, il suo amore e il desiderio di aiutare Andrew, a permettere un lieto fine.

Una storia originale con bei personaggi e una trama che riserva parecchi colpi di scena e motivi di riflessione, condita da scene di sesso ben scritte. L’unica pecca, almeno dal mio punto di vista, è una sinossi troppo particolareggiata, che svela gran parte di ciò che accade.