The Romford Pelé: It’s only Ray Parlour’s autobiography

by Ray Parlour, Arsène Wenger (Foreword)

THE SUNDAY TIMES TOP TEN BESTSELLERThe Trophies … The Tuesday Club … The Prawn Crackers … Marc Overmars may have given him the nickname, but the Romford Pele is a legend in his own right. Over 16 action-packed years, from a trainee scrubbing the boots of the first XI, to a record-breaking 333 Premier League appearances, Ray Parlour’s never-say-die performances, curly locks and mischievous sense of humour have gone down in Arsenal history.Battling tirelessly on the pitch, often in the shadows of his star-name teammates, Parlour won three premier league titles and four FA Cup trophies with the Gunners. But he was also the heart and soul of the dressing room, the training ground and the after work drink. From nights out with Tony Adams, to teaching Thierry Henry cockney rhyming slang, from playing golf with Dennis Bergkamp to trading Inspector Clouseau jokes with Arsène Wenger, this wonderfully funny and candid autobiography looks back on a golden age of the beautiful game, reliving the banter, the stories and the success.Ray Parlour is an Arsenal legend. During his 16-year career he won 3 Premier League titles, 4 FA Cups and the UEFA Cup. One of the most underrated players of his generation, he was also part of Arsenal’s famous Invincible team of 2003/4, which went the entire Premier League season unbeaten. He is now a regular pundit for TalkSport and Sky Sports. He enjoys a short back and sides.

Genres: Football, Biography, Nonfiction, Sports, Autobiography, Soccer

251 pages, Kindle Edition

First published May 19, 2016

Reviews

[Richard · Rating 3 out of 5]

7/10

An enjoyable read overall with some funny stories throughout the playing career of Ray Parlour. I'm not an Arsenal fan and I'm not particularly bothered by Parlour himself, he was always a bit of a workhorse player without the glitz, but I did know he was supposed to be a joker and he was part of the infamous Tuesday Club so I thought this would be a good, light read and so it turned out to be.

The first third of the novel goes into detail about how Parlour got his break and then how he and Tony Adams, club captain, became good friends and mega drinking buddies. There were some funny stories in this part, especially the two of them letting off a fire extinguisher in a Pizza Hut after being riled up by some Spurs fans.

The next third, Tony Adams came out to his team mates as an alcoholic and the club started transforming under the guidance of Arsene Wenger. This part showed that Parlour took his trade seriously from then on and calmed down with the drinking (down to 2 nights a week not 5). There were a few funny moments in this but what really stood out here was his awe for Bergkamp and Henry. Their sheer professionalism and determination changed his thinking and made him the better for it.

The last third was more the winding down of his career and some personal aspects as he was involved in a mega legal battle with his ex-wife. It never proved heavy reading and through it all he never really said a bad word about her, it would have been easy to take a few low blows so hats off for that. Then there was the inevitable winding down of his career, this is something that must kill most professional athletes. He took it in good stride though and highlighted some of the things he does to now pass the time.

This was an interesting read but one complaint I would have is that some of the stories which are really funny aren't told in a proper way. The punchline comes too quick or doesn't come at all, a professional ghostwriter might have been of some benefit. It's told in Parlours style though, he's a cockney through and through and this shines through in the narrative. One thing it did for me was make me want to get into a few more biographies, such as Bergkamp, as they are a good side read to have on the go. Worth picking up if you've any interest in one of the best footballing teams from the last 30 years.

I received a free copy from NetGalley for review

[Adrian · Rating 4 out of 5]

As a life long Arsenal (football club - soccer to non Brits) fan, I always enjoy any books about the club and/or its players, however when the book is about one of the invincibles (you have to be an English football fan to know what I'm talking about) it takes on a special significance. That said a great footballer is NOT a great writer so what is to me an interesting subject is well, not ruined, but certainly not enhanced by the writing itself. So a 5 star subject with some 3.5 star writing (sorry Ray), means its a 4 star book (thanks Ray for the joy of re-living all your games with you).

[Gary · Rating 3 out of 5]

Although my favourite genre is Mystery Thrillers I do enjoy reading the occasional biography for a change. I have no allegiance to Arsenal but found this book by Ray Parlour an entertaining easy read, no real disclosures but plenty of interesting anecdotes from his days playing for Arsenal and Middlesbrough.
Ray Parlour was not one of the star players but was obviously a dedicated professional who served his club admirably and supported the bigger names with great success. A good quick entertaining read from a player who in the main remained true to one club.

[Stephen · Rating 4 out of 5]

thanks for netgalley and the publishers for a free copy for a honest and open review.
interesting biography looking at ray parlour's football career from his time with arsenal, middlesboro and Hull city, gives some insight into some of the players played with Ray and with his joking ways which sometimes gave him 2 weeks fines, on the whole this biography is down to earth and more concentrated on football than his private life expect the legal case of his divorce and even lists his 2 teams who has played against and with arsenal.

[LG · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a fun, easy read and as an Arsenal fan, I'm partial to it, especially the behind the scenes stories.

[Abhishek Dafria · Rating 4 out of 5]

Grab a cup of coffee, sit down comfortably on your favourite couch and listen to your old pal, Ray, reminiscence through his good old football days. A forgotten story here, a joke there, a slice of wisdom in the middle, Ray has everything to cover. And the more you read, the more you enter in his life, the more he materialises outside the pages of the book, and you can very well imagine him in flesh and blood by your side, maybe with a beer in his hand, those golden locks fluttering across his brow, a broad grin stamped on his face, asking you teasingly if you want to hear more. Of course, you reply, captivated by the bag of tales that Ray has opened up. Be it the scrap with Tottenham fans in a restaurant along with Tony, the comical trial of Kolo, the leg-pulling of Martin. Or be it the inspiration they called Dennis, or the flamboyance they called Thierry. Or be it the solid back four/five under George or the revolution brought on by Arsene. Ray narrates from his heart, his own journey in football and his part in some of the greatest teams of Arsenal. That crazy goal against Chelsea in the FA Cup Final or the penalty that he gave away on his debut. It is a book that would make you nostalgic if you watched those Arsenal teams that achieved greatness after greatness. But it is a book that would make you love Ray Parlour a bit more, for he makes you laugh, gets you a bit emotional, and speaks just the way he played.. with his heart on his sleeve!

[Duane · Rating 4 out of 5]

A wonderful, light read. Parlour is and was always under-rated as a player, and the way he tells his story (alongside Amy Lawrence) drives home just what he brought to Arsenal whilst telling some pretty funny stories (I imagine he could write an entirely seperate book detailing pranks he pulled on Martin Keown)

[David Przybylinski · Rating 5 out of 5]

Fantastic stories told by Ray Parlour about his start and life at Arsenal through the close of his career and all the awesome things he had been a part of. Great read and well worth it

[Kath · Rating 4 out of 5]

Firstly I have to say that I am neither an Arsenal supporter nor particularly a fan of Ray Parlour. I do however love my sport autobiographies which is why I wanted to read this book. I also do like listening to him these days as a pundit/commentator/presenter on TALKSport.
So, this biography is pretty similar to the majority I have read. He does jump about a little in time but it is pretty much chronological in nature. He goes through his early days, his apprenticeship and what they had to do back in the days. Continues on through the George Graham era and then the Arsene Wenger time bringing up nicely to current day. Personal life is obviously mentioned, he comes across as pretty big on family and he is quite frank in places especially regarding the high profile divorce and aftermath of that. I would have to say though that the majority of the book does mostly focus around the football and social side of things.
The book is full of anecdotes detailing shenanigans - remember that these were the days when the football drinking culture is high and there are several amusing stories involving Merson and Adams. As I am very familiar with his voice, occasionally whilst reading, I was hearing it read in that very distinctive voice. I did find that quite a few of the later stories did fall a bit flat for me. There was all the build up and then, at the end, they kind of fizzled out. Maybe that's cos I am not a fan. Dunno!
At the end of the book, there is a good section where he has selected teams of variously themed favourite players with explanations for inclusion. I agree with some, others notsomuch. But hey, I support Villa so, what do I know!
One really good reason for reading this book would be the descriptions of life as a footballer in that era. The pay, the work rate, the drinking culture; all things that have really changed these days. It really is eye opening to see what people like him got paid then compared to if they were playing these days.
All in all, it is a good sports autobiography. I do feel however that Parlour/Arsenal fans would probably get more out of reading it than just fans of the game due to the balance between life and sport as depicted.

I received a free ARC of this book in exchange for my honest review.

[Paul Tincknell · Rating 5 out of 5]

An interesting comparison with the Bergkamp autobiography I read earlier in the year. The contrast is much like the players - one is cerebral and thought provoking, the other is light hearted and entertaining but without any real deep insights into the life of a player. Even major life events like divorce are only really given superficial coverage by Ray. But both books are very enjoyable in their own way and well worth reading.

[Stephen King · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very funny with some great insights into the 'Tuesday Club' the famous Arsenal drinking club of Tony Adams, Ray Parlour himself and numerous others. Ray Parlour was a much underrated English midfielder who played through the regimes of George Graham and Arsene Wenger

[Charles Day · Rating 4 out of 5]

Probably something of a niche read but I really enjoyed it. Some great stories and new insight into the man's character.

[Neil · Rating 1 out of 5]

Just very disappointed with this.
He appears as a very one dimensional character.

[Simon · Rating 4 out of 5]

As you'd expect from Ray there's much more banter than biography. It's a fun read.

[Darrell Woods · Rating 4 out of 5]

The current despairing death throes of Arsene Wenger's time at Arsenal can obscure what a great manager he has been and some of the fantastic players that took the field during his tenure. Ray Parlour as he himself admits, is not one of those greats in terms of world class skill, but he more than made up for it in good old fashioned grit and determination. The fact that he could drink like a fish, never forgot his Essex roots and was always quick to have a laugh means he is one of only a handful of players that straddled the changing era from "old world" pros to the molly-coddled super-rich of the bloated modern day Premier League. As an existing Arsenal fan this is a light hearted easy read though some of those experiences which do provide a much needed feel-good factor (and act as soothing balm to current woes). Ray was there under George, and was able to learn and thrive under Wenger too. The anecdotes are funny even if some are already familiar. It's all light-hearted frolics, with no malice much like Ray himself. There isn't a great deal of interest here to non-Arsenal fans, so I guess you have to lose a star for that. However, in a similar fashion to Perry Groves and his laugh-out-loud autobiography, I would suggest that it is just these sorts of players - those who really worked hard, who left it all on the park - who know that their fans will forever want to clap them on the back and buy them a beer - they are the ones who have found sporting immortality in a way the majority of money-grubbing employer hopping footballers will never know. I was in Cardiff for Ray's finest moment - that wonder goal against Chelsea in the FA Cup Final - and that has just put that lost star back on! A quick read, you will smile and you will go misty-eyed looking back - a job well done!

[Tyrone Atkins · Rating 3 out of 5]

I'll level with you. I am no Arsenal fan. In fact, I'll go so far to say I actively dislike that football club. Have they done anything wrong to me personally? Not at all, but such is the tribalism of the sport, I have no time for a rival team.

All the same, even as a Chelsea fan, I appreciate what it takes for men and women to reach the top of their chosen field, and that includes players for teams I don't care for. The Romford Pele (2016) is the autobiography of Ray Parlour, a player that featured prominently in Arsene Wenger's excellent Arsenal team that won three league titles, a few FA Cups and of course, the squad that went unbeaten in the 2003/4 season.

Those key things aside, Parlour proves to be an engaging and likeable storyteller who never toots his own horn, pays reverence to the amazing players he worked with and isn't shy in laughing at himself along the way. There isn't anything here particularly revelatory, we know all about legendary captain Tony Adams' alcoholism, Sol Campbell's controversial defection from Spurs and of course the glory, but any football fan will appreciate the curtain to a career we can only dream of being opened even just a crack. A breezy read about a lad who done good.

[Richie Garner · Rating 5 out of 5]

Ticks all the boxes...

Great account by Ray Parlour in this cracking read.
Lots of stories that had me laughing openly on many occasions.
He gives a really detailed account of the players and managers he’s worked with at Arsenal during a period of transition for the club and it was hugely enjoyable to learn about the dressing room characters that shaped his career.
Very well written in a style that allows you to consume it effortlessly.
RP comes across as a humble guy who is grateful for the opportunities football has afforded him. He’s very open about the wage structures, the influx of foreign players and their integration, the culture and mentality of the teams and the changing face of professional football.
The book dips in and out of his private life where appropriate but it’s largely about the football and in particular (and this will come as no surprise) Arsenal football club.
And for the record, I am NOT an Arsenal supporter.
Just a really enjoyable read that flows well and will give you more than a few chuckles.

[Goody2shoes · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book is very much in the vein of Paul Merson's 'How not to be a professional footballer'.

Ray Parlour was at an Arsenal that saw the end of George Graham and the transition into the modern arsenal under Arsen Wenger. There was a big drinking culture at the club when he first joined and he was caught right in it, so there are many stories based around the troubles that followed him because of that.

Ray was a 'wind-up merchant' and there are some hilarious wind-ups in the book. The one about Martin Keown's last appearance for Arsenal and also the one about how Igors Stephanoff came to sign for Arsenal both had me in stitches.

Ray, you were a hero for all gooners of my generation, and this book made me remember the headlines you made, and as for that great FA Cup Final goal against Chelsea, thank you - that's a memory I will never forget.

[Matt Boak · Rating 4 out of 5]

Short, snappy account of a solid player and consistent contributor during an outstanding period for Arsenal FC.

Ray Parlour is never going to get into anyone’s all-time XIs, but that makes his stories and the way he tells them all the more endearing. He’s a decent, hard working bloke who slogged his guts out to earn his place in a squad of elite, record-breaking sportsmen. This book is essentially a succession of anecdotes from throughout his career, many of them very funny. He loved the banter - some cracking tales worth reading for sure.

I never massively rated Parlour during his playing days but this book has made me rethink his contributions. Anyone with 466 appearances for Arsenal must have been doing something right. And of course there’s always that goal against Chelsea in the FA Cup final. “It’s only Ray Parlour…”

Thanks for the memories Ray!

[Irene · Rating 3 out of 5]

Three and a half star rating.
A must for any football fan, especially Arsenal supporters. Not a huge star, but a vital part of the team nonetheless. Interesting, funny and entertaining, hearing what it’s like to be a footballer in a major team - the highs and lows, the japes, the camaraderie. I enjoyed this biography, getting a peek into a different world and being reminded of the great players from those days. I was given this ARC by the publisher and Netgalley in exchange for an honest review.

[Nicholas Story, solicitor · Rating 3 out of 5]

I occasionally read these sporting autobiographies in the hope that one of them will transcend the normal cliche-ridden formula of an assortment of ghost-written anecdotes. This book was definitely not one of those. To be fair, it is an accurate depiction of its subject: it is energetic, unpretentious, and entertaining enough. But we don't learn much about the man or the men who he played with or against. Quite a nice insight into the Wenger years, but as a historical account it is tantalisingly vague.

Good fun, though.

[Mika · Rating 3 out of 5]

A very genuine and likable football book by Ray Parlour. Great stories and a lot written about Tony Adams. He wouldn't even need to write his own autobiography. This book involves itself with players social life (times sure were different) and Parlour's time as a footballer and funny events. There is a happy passion throughout the book and sure recommended to any football fan. An easy read and hard to put down.

[Luke · Rating 3 out of 5]

Decent book with some good stories - especially when he brought a girl back to Tony Adams’ house which had me laughing a lot.

I think I would have given it a better score if I hadn’t recently read Paul Merson’s book. I need a break from 90s Arsenals players. Although they are legends.

Shame there was no mention of the Cobra Bomb. This must have been a post publication creation. I’m gonna have to try one in the great man’s name.

[Grant S · Rating 3 out of 5]

Upbeat and engaging footballing life story from the 'Romford Pele.'
From growing up in Essex to winning league titles and silverware with Arsenal Ray brings his cockney wit and humour to the fore. It's not the most indepth of books but the pages fly by and there's many a tale and anecdote to bring a smile to the readers face.
Recommended for all football fans, not just 'Gooners.'

[UnCinemaDaily · Rating 4 out of 5]

Una biografia molto simpatica, di un giocatore che si è sempre contraddistinto per un mix di serietà (sul campo) e goliardia (fuori dal rettangolo di gioco). Alcuni passaggi provocano ilarità cronica.

[Mario · Rating 4 out of 5]

A very easy read and very humourous in parts when Ray dives into some of the shenanigans he and his teammates got up to and you can read those stories in his voice. Mostly light hearted and honest, a good one for Arsenal fans.

[Christopher Pegg · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really enjoyed this book. It was a quick read but I loved hearing about how Ray was a real practical joker at Arsenal and how his time changed at the club when new management came in.
Ray also seemed to have a great relationship with Tony Adams and it was interesting to hear about that.

[Robert Torrie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Good read

I got this book to read while I was on holiday ..Proper football book giving you the insight in the career of Ray :Good to read& understand mentality of football life at top level

[Ben · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very good book! In this book, Ray Parlour is honest and down to earth. This book is both humouress and interesting. Ray Parlour is an Arsenal legend and as a fan of Arsenal's era of greatness during the 90s and early 2000s, I really enjoyed the stories that he told. Overall, a brilliant book!

[Phil McGregor · Rating 4 out of 5]

+ Brilliant, some great stories, love Parlour's enthusiasm for life
+ The ghost reader perfectly captures how Parlour speaks and tells stories

- Bit short, would have liked it a bit longer, more stories!