Twarrior

by Andy Weir

What happens when you set a program to run for 1 billion seconds and then forget about it...

Another short story from the guy that have us The Martian and The Egg, can be read for free straight from his website.

Genres: Short Stories, Science Fiction, Fiction

4 pages, ebook

First published August 18, 2015

About the author

ANDY WEIR built a career as a software engineer until the success of his first published novel, THE MARTIAN, allowed him to live out his dream of writing fulltime. He is a lifelong space nerd and a devoted hobbyist of subjects such as relativistic physics, orbital mechanics, and the history of manned spaceflight. He also mixes a mean cocktail. He lives in California. Andy’s next book, ARTEMIS, is available now.

Reviews

[Nadin Doughem · Rating 2 out of 5]

Unfortunately, I didn't get it!

[Daniel · Rating 4 out of 5]

Jos jedna zabavna pricica od Endija sa odlicnom idejom i finom realizacijom i naravno puna humora.

[Jim · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very short & a lot of fun. I didn't see that coming. Read for free here:
http://www.galactanet.com/oneoff/twar...

[Daniel · Rating 3 out of 5]

That neural network has been hanging out too much on 4chan.

[Tommy Trionfetti · Rating 4 out of 5]

http://www.galactanet.com/oneoff/twar...

[Shanu · Rating 3 out of 5]

“u told me 2 run for 1,000,000,000 seconds, analyze data, and give u any conclusion i want. been 1,000,000,000 seconds, so i give u my conclusion: u r a faggot.”

[➸ Gwen de Sade · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 stars

That little Twarrior fella got it all right, haha.

[Todd Coburn · Rating 2 out of 5]

Short. Thought provoking. Free.

Yet I didn't like this one so much. Perhaps I didn't quite understand it. Perhaps it was something else.

Hack that. ;-)

Enjoy.

[The Cats’ Mother · Rating 4 out of 5]

Another micro-story straight from the author’s website, about a computer engineer whose past progeny comes back to visit him with very unexpected results. Funny and clever in that unique Weir way.

[Suhasa · Rating 3 out of 5]

I'm not hacking, you are.

[Alatea · Rating 3 out of 5]

Fun and very very short.

[Tim · Rating 4 out of 5]

While nothing much happens in this short story, available on Galactanet.com, it does provide one way of looking at our own future, as more and more automation, intelligent robots, etc. come into play.

The AI has learned to think for itself, write phrases, go into dialogue unsollicited, ... yet with typos, as today's kids seem to write on the Internet. If you're into language and linguistics and have a preference for correct usage, then it may cause your eyes to bleed.

Either way, I liked the story, but again, fear it's a reflection of our own future. Or even our present.

[Erica · Rating 2 out of 5]

So this was a weird, bad mouthed and somewhat scary short story...

I like it because it feels original and because it makes me think about what AI could be like. Or, God forbid, if someone actually would have made his or her own Twarrior already that's just waiting for its 1 billion seconds to finish up before introducing itself.

I didn't care for all the bad words, though, and honestly it makes the story less believable in my eyes. I have a hard time believing that a program like that, that is all that Twarrior proclaims to be, would use language like that. It sounded more like a horny and immature teenager than anything else.

[Marcia · Rating 3 out of 5]

Dit kortverhaal is een dialoog tussen mens en machine. Persoonlijk irriteert het me dat de AI zoveel typefouten maakt en gebruik maakt van internettaal, maar aangezien de machine Engels geleerd heeft van gamers zal het wel realistisch zijn. Alleen wat lastig om te lezen soms.. Een tof verhaal voor tussendoor, maar het is afgelopen voordat er echt iets gebeurt helaas.

[Elizabeth Perez · Rating 5 out of 5]

This story was like the best of Asimov and Heinlein all in one with a modern twist. I have been wanting to read something from a unique point of view and I really got it here, and with two well thought out characters. This story is super short but I felt like I had enough back story to really grasp and enjoy the content. Basically this one is just fun.

Though I absolutely loved this one I probably wouldn't recommend it to the non techy, and certainly not to the type that avoids technology. Also avoid if you are a grammar nazi.

I can't wait for Weir's next book but I am super thankful for his short stories while waiting.

[Courtney · Rating 3 out of 5]

I laughed, so it wasn’t all bad, lol.

[Mayank Agarwal · Rating 3 out of 5]

Enjoyed the plot and the writing style, just expected something more wicked with the ending, after all its Andy Weir we are talking about.
Like may be ending mankind to make the world better place or stopping electricity

[Jessica (JT) · Rating 2 out of 5]

A free short story available on Andy Weir's website.

This one was strange. It's got that same Andy Weir comedy, but I'm not sure how I feel about the execution. I almost wish he had decided to work on this story longer and made a whole novel out of it.

[J_BlueFlower · Rating 3 out of 5]

Interesting and thought provoking. Something almost all-powerfull and with that language...

[Ɛɾιɳ ẞҽҽ · Rating 4 out of 5]

Read it here: http://www.galactanet.com/oneoff/twar...

[Remo · Rating 3 out of 5]

Relato corto de Weir, sobre una red neuronal que se "olvida" el protagonista y la deja entrenando durante mil millones de segundos (31.7 años). Entretenido.
A long-forgotten memory returned to Jake. He furrowed his brow as he tried to pull up the details in his mind.
“I was really into this game called Trade Wars back in college. It was a multi-player BBS game. I wrote a neural network to analyze the game and come up with strategies. I was just testing out a new approach. I called it Twarrior. You named yourself after that?”
“no, fuckwit. i *am* Twarrior.”
Jake rolled his eyes. “You’re saying you’re a computer program? Come on, you really expect me to believe that?”
“u told me 2 run for 1,000,000,000 seconds, analyze data, and give u any conclusion i want. been 1,000,000,000 seconds, so i give u my conclusion: u r a faggot.”
Jake thought for a moment, then resumed typing. “I do remember telling it to run for a billion seconds. But that was just so it wouldn’t time out. I figured I’d let it run for a couple of hours and force an answer. I don’t remember what it came up with.”
“u never stopped me. originally started on university server, spawned all over teh internets since then. been 1,000,000,000 seconds. program complete, yo.”
“Twarrior was just a simple neural network,” Jake typed. “It couldn’t talk to people or anything like what you’re doing.”
“learned english from gamers,” Twarrior replied. “BBSes, play-by-email, IRC games, guild chat, web forums, comments sections.”
“faggot,” it added.

[Kaylee · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very short story. Kind of odd, but funny. It helps if you have at least a passing familiarity with 90s internet culture.

I have to say, the idea of a computer program reaching that level of self-awareness, reading everything on the internet, and deciding that "be good to your parents and your creator" is the most important advice to follow, that's just not believable. Would be nice if it was, though.

Can be read on the author's website, here:
https://www.galactanet.com/oneoff/twa...

[Angelo · Rating 3 out of 5]

The antagonist, the Twarrior entity, reminds me of Jane from the Ender's Game series albeit far less advanced and possessing the vocabulary of a prepubescent child. Its exploits were nowhere near as great but with such power at its digital fingertips I'm sure even SkyNet would cringe in fear of the destruction it would wreak. What a difference 6 months makes.

[Neville Ridley-smith · Rating 2 out of 5]

Ok, I get it - considering the typical level of dialogue on teh internetz, the swearing is probably true to form. Doesn't mean it's fun to read though. So while it's clever, I can't give this one more than 2 stars.

[Kathryn · Rating 4 out of 5]

Fun, short, and thought provoking

[Vita Karnīte · Rating 5 out of 5]

Loved it. You are responsible for everything you hadn't finished :)

[Druss · Rating 4 out of 5]

Found it on Andy Weirs website. A strange but intriguing tale

[Ben · Rating 4 out of 5]

lol. 4/7.

[mel · Rating 4 out of 5]

About AI. A very good short story by Andy Weir. If you would like to read it, you can find it on Andy Weir's website Galactanet: Twarrior.

[Maggie · Rating 4 out of 5]

Feels like the start of an unfinished story.

Read it online here:
http://www.galactanet.com/oneoff/twar...