Choosing Real: An Invitation to Celebrate When Life Doesn't Go as Planned

by Bekah Jane Pogue

Are you ready to release your control of needing to be everything for everyone?

In  Choosing REAL , author Bekah Pogue walks with us into life’s unplanned circumstances--specifically frantic schedules, pain, transition, feelings of unworthiness, loneliness, and tension--and reminds us it is in these.very.moments where God invites us to notice, respond, and even  celebrate  an authentic relationship with Him through every.little.detail despite our own efforts or work. The result? A connection between real life and faith so that they are one and the same.

When we enjoy God's company  first --the heavenly Creator will transform our minds to view our schedules, work, relationships, parenting, and responsibilities as opportunities to dance in life's storms and honor how beautiful simple can be. Better than our ideal party, it is He who is inviting us, setting the table, breathing peace and freedom into details we aren’t in control of. When we recognize how He surprises us by using our greatest pains and detours to draw us to a beautiful dependence on Him--freedom and peace replace control and worry.  

Put aside what-could-be and instead embrace what is ? The invitation is yours. . .choose Real today.

Genres: Nonfiction, Christian, Christian Non Fiction, Self Help, Christian Living, Faith, Personal Development

224 pages, Paperback

Published December 1, 2016

About the author

An "everyday Jane," Bekah Jane Pogue is an author, speaker and heart-felt encourager.

Bekah loves communicating, whether in small groups or large conferences, as if you were sitting on her couch and catching up as old friends. She is a guest writer for Yellow Conference and loves coaching new writers in their journey.

You can find her at the beach, reading, baking, rearranging furniture or flea-marketing. She and her husband, Bryan, have been married a dozen years and have two energetic boys. They reside at the Pogue Cottage in Southern CA, where dance parties are a regular occurrence.

If you’re looking for vulnerability, down with talking about hard things and desiring real join Bekah at www.BekahPogue.com.

Reviews

[Beth · Rating 4 out of 5]

Bekah Jane Pogue's writing style is warm and welcoming, almost conversational. She is very candid and real with her struggles, and though I did get a little bogged down in the middle, I picked up speed once again and found some great nuggets of wisdom here. My favorite chapters were those that dealt with comparison and how destructive it can be, as well as how to find joy in the mundane, as right now there are times that I feel like everyone else is out having a good time, while my life is consumed by work and school. Even though her situation was one of being a young mother at home with young children, I still related to how she feels like she is missing out on something. I can so relate to that right now, so that message was a needed one for me, and I'm sure for many others.

(spoiler alert: you're not missing anything - you're right where you need to be).

Overall, Choosing Real is an encouraging, inviting read that discusses timely spiritual truths, no matter what phase of life you're experiencing. Recommended.

I received a complimentary copy of this book from Goodreads and chose to review it. The opinions expressed here are my own.

[Laura · Rating 3 out of 5]

CHOOSING REAL is a book that's been in my to-read pile for awhile and I finally decided to knock it out of the way - almost a year after publication. But people are still buying books, so maybe this will be helpful to someone as they plan out their Christmas shopping list.

Bekah Jane Pague is obviously an energetic person. Just reading the book makes me tired. And she is by nature an over-achiever, planning detailed themed parties for a one-year-old and inviting everyone in California (okay, not really, just almost) for a later party.

The concept is good. We don't have to go above and beyond in entertaining and reaching out to people. We can let people see the messy dog dishes left in the kitchen. I do have issues with some of the theology, I guess, due to where I am in life. Yes, when it comes to God all we have to do is RSVP Yes that we accept God. Yes, we trust God. Yes, we ... but that technically isn't all there is to it. I won't go into why though. That would be a book in itself.

Now I get what she is going for in the main theme of the book, and this is geared toward the over-achievers, the detailed oriented people who would die of embarrassment overlooking a dog dish when having a party. Its for the ones navigating a messy marriage, a flooded house, a death in the family and trying to hide it, trying to handle it, and discovering they can't do it alone. It's an invitation to let go and let God handle your mess in His way, in His time, and you just rest in the pain and be real. Let others know, let them see your mess. Just be real.

I do agree with that. Sometimes it is in the realness that you are able to meet people where they are, to minister to them in their pain. If you had a miscarriage, you know how to reach others suffering through that. Suffering from cancer? You can minister to others in the same boat. An adult son on drugs? Yes, you can truly be a help to other parents suffering through that.

The book was a bit rambling and I found myself skimming, but if you have a problem with being real and hiding behind perfection then CHOOSING REAL is a book to consider.

I was given a copy free. All opinions are my own.

[Carrie Schmidt · Rating 4 out of 5]

Choosing Real by Bekah Jean Pogue is a book that I will be re-reading in order to really absorb the truths here. These truths are things I know – have known – and yet somehow along the way I’ve gotten off track in applying them in the everyday. Especially when it comes to valuing rest. (The irony of this is that, even as I typed those words, a dear friend messaged me to make sure I did indeed take the nap I promised her I would take today. I didn’t.)

The chapter that focuses specifically on rest (Chapter 2 – Enjoy the Journey) and the one which talks about finding freedom in an online culture (Chapter 7 – #REALISTHENEWPERFECT) are the chapters which are lingering with me the most so far. These both convicted and encouraged me … and wrapped me in peace.

Bottom Line: Bekah Pogue’s writing style is conversational and friendly, and you will feel like you are laughing (or crying) together at your favorite cafe as you read. The chapters reflect her personality (and now I totally want to be her best friend) and help readers connect with her and what she’s saying. From the major losses in life (cancer, divorce, anxiety attacks) to the “Cheerio-sized” losses (flat tires, Internet is down, insecurity), Pogue offers us an invitation to experience God in our day-to-day realities. To see the connection between “real life” and faith. To let Jesus present Himself to us as so very Real even as He shows us – “YOU matter”.

(I voluntarily reviewed a complimentary copy of this book.)

see my full review at Reading Is My SuperPower

[Megan Ilertsen · Rating 5 out of 5]

In Choosing REAL, Bekah's honesty, ability to relate, and invitation to shift and deepen your perspective of life, no matter the circumstance, will cause significant impact in your heart, soul, and mind. Reading this book is like sitting next to a close friend on the couch, glass of wine in hand, unpacking the thoughts and fears you’ve been holding on to, and hearing her say “I get it. I’ve been there, too” in return. Her stories and insights hold the power to make you feel less alone in your situation, give you the courage to celebrate when life doesn’t go as planned, and most importantly, point you to REAL, our ultimate source of comfort, identity, and purpose as we learn to “enjoy the journey” together.

[Becca · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this book when I could devote time to it. The author is thoughtful and delivers words of wisdom like a good friend at a coffee shop pouring their encouragement out over breakfast pastries and your favorite drink. I laughed and cried throughout because in many ways I can relate to so much of her story. Worth the read!

[Jeanie · Rating 5 out of 5]

“Thank you for letting your light shine. Keep going.” Pg 215

‘Choosing REAL’ is an incredible new book that is about just that – choosing what God offers us. From “About the Author” page, “God is inviting His REAL self to be experienced through life’s pits and peaks.” In so doing, we share with the Lord our real self. While He already knows us, it is vital to our relationship for me to share my real self with Him. This book is also about engaging fully in our lives moment by moment, including the Lord in all we do and seeking His will.

‘Choosing REAL’ is the kind of book that one should savor slowly, embrace all the author is sharing, and see how one can use what one is reading. Just like in her life, Bekah Jane Pogue uses every word – or moment – to the best advantage. Scripture verses and quotes from books the author has benefited from are shared where appropriate, showing that not only does she know about the suffering of loss but also how to take the worst moments of change, frazzled schedules, and feeling unworthy, and see how the Lord sees us through and shows how to use them for His glory.

The impetus for the author’s receiving God’s invitation was the sudden, unexpected loss of her father. It may be different for each reader. That loss, that unexpected event that drives us to our knees, is when we accept Jesus’ invitation to REAL or endure that crisis in our own strength. The author shares what her choice became when she could no longer go forward. She shares what happens when she begins to do as her father suggested, that she enjoy the journey. Celebrate in spite of pain and loss.

What I like best about this book is how Bekah Jane Pogue shows her heart and life to the reader. It isn’t a light and breezy everything-is-fine, I’m-just-fine book. She tells the truth on herself, how she feels, what she learns through the process – even as long as two years after her father’s death. We learn to stay in God’s Word, cling to the Lord and keep communication with Him real. We can have a joyful, life-long journey with our Lord who desires an authentic, two-way relationship with us. I also like that she doesn’t sound like Bekah Super-Christian. She is like us, with many of the same challenges and feelings we have, and the responses to those challenges. She spoke encouragement to my current situations.

We see the importance of listening those who are closest to us, those who know us best – whether our spouse or best friend. We see what it looks like when we give God control, letting Him be our strength, rather than feeling we are responsible for everything. Ultimately, we re-learn our true identity as daughters of our loving God, and what that beautiful identity entails. We are encouraged to find our talent, what the Lord wants us to use for His glory, and when, then give to someone else who is hurting.

There is so much more in this book! It isn’t something to simply read through, check it off a to-do list and pass on. It can be re-read, loaned out, and copies purchased for friends who are going through upheaval. It is printed on paper that will hold up under tears, highlighting, and multiple re-reads. I highly recommend ‘Choosing REAL’. Bekah Jane Pogue, thank you for shining your light for all to see so we can also Choose REAL.

With a grateful heart, I received a complimentary copy of this book from Barbour Publishing; as a courtesy, I am posting my honest review.

[Liz · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was an unusual book, written in a chatty and open style about a difficult topic - celebrating life and "enjoying the journey" when things don't go as you planned. I wanted to like it because I agree with the author's desire for authenticity, but I kept getting mixed messages throughout that sometimes made it hard for me to keep turning the pages. For instance, Mrs. Pogue stresses valuing only God's opinion of her life, and yet often wrote in such a way as to impress her readers with her lifestyle/wardrobe/music playlist/hardships. She is a pastor's wife, but seems to have a rather casual hold on theology ("Jesus is the author of relationships and community, being that He's part of the Trinity and all," p.96). In chapter 6, she complains to a friend over breakfast out that...she has no friends!...think about THAT contradiction for a minute. Chapter 12 starts out with a long illustration taken from Downton Abbey, only to confuse the characters of Isobel Crawley and Lady Grantham. And every chapter is filled with too.much.punctuation. That looks cute once, but over and over it is just.too.trite. Maybe I am just too serious a reader for Mrs. Pogue's style; she may be just the author to reach someone I couldn't.

What I do admire is her honesty about her mistakes and misperceptions. She is very brave to catalogue her struggles and fears, and to be so transparent about how God used her pain to draw her closer to Himself. I also think she made some especially good points in Chapter 7 about not letting technology take over our personal or family lives. Facebook and Pinterest and Intagram (as interesting as they are) can easily discourage us from enjoying REAL life vs. the photo-shopped version we want to show the world. And who doesn't love chocolate cake or chocolate chip cookies? A detailed recipe for each is included in this book.

I received a copy of the book from Barbour Publishing in exchange for my honest review.

[Deborha Mitchell · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very real.


This is a very uplifting book for anyone who thinks that life is falling down all around them. Troubles that come our way are real, yet we don't have to crawl into a hole to get away from them. In this book, Bekah Jane Pogue shows us how to face these troubles and turn them into learning experiences....that make us stronger and wiser. She uses wit to get some of her points across, which is a big plus for this reader. I definitely recommend this book.

I received a complimentary copy of this book from Barbour Publishing in exchange for my honest review.

[Rachel · Rating 2 out of 5]

While the book description offers a glimpse of this book's style, I'm not sure it was an accurate description of content. This read more like a memoir of the author's own spiritual awakening. It felt as though she then projected her own path onto everyone else.

The style was breezy and intimately conversational, but perhaps too idiomatic. I'm still trying to figure out the references to Miss Chocolate Cake. A summary of the chapter on layers in relationship? Personification? I really don't know.

[Debbie Chatley · Rating 4 out of 5]

“Choosing Real” calls for us to be authentic in our relationship with God and with each other. And with the current proliferation of social media, we have gotten good at putting on a face for the world that makes us appear to have it all together and to be the perfect wife, mother, friend etc. In reality, we are only experiencing a great number of shallow relationships and no deep real authentic relationships. Yet, is this the life that God intends for us?

The author makes a very clear case for God calling us into deep authentic relationships both with God himself and with those around us. The call is for us is to be real and genuine with God, and to realize that God moments are happening all around us, calling us to experience God in all areas of our life. Additionally, God doesn’t call for us to live this Christian life in isolation, but to live it in conjunction with other Christians, so that we can challenge and encourage one another. As the quote on page 83 says, “We all need God to use others to genuinely remind us that we are seen and found worthy and beautiful in their eyes and his”. Part of these authentic relationship, is the need for someone to tell us the truth and where we turn to for truth.

One of my favorite parts was the verses that highlights our worth in God’s eyes on page 74 stating that we are made in his image, fearfully and wonderfully made, chosen, dwelling place for Holy Spirit, and are his children. Another particular good point was on page 148 that talks about how our trials and times of waiting are really a call from God to come away and realize that he is all we need.

So get a copy of this book and answer the call from God for authentic deep relationships that seek to be real with others and to be real with our God. You will not regret it. This is a lesson God has been teaching me and in fact he has brought 2 dear prayer sisters into my life who I can be vulnerable with, and share my joys and my burdens. It is an amazing journey, get on board.

[Sally · Rating 5 out of 5]

When I saw this book and opened it, my heart melted. The outside of the hard cover is immediately cheerful. The pages are thick and of good quality. The pages are lined with plenty of room to write my thoughts and feelings. At the top of each page on the left is a bible verse. On the opposite page is a thoughtful statement and then a question on how I can respond with my thoughts. Lots of space to write.
It's amazing how many pages there are with tons of original expressions to reflect upon. The book is beautiful outside and inside!
I have filled a number of journals in my lifetime, but this is truly a special one for a woman who seeks to be real with Jesus.
I highly recommend this book as a wonderful gift to others as well as to oneself!

I received a complimentary copy of this book from Barbour Publishing and was under no obligation to post a review.

[Sharon · Rating 3 out of 5]

I love that this journal is not dated so I was able to start in the middle of the year. There were so many thought provoking questions that I would have never written otherwise, and I loved how each of them had scripture tied to them.

There are a few things I would have changed. #1 I would have made this journal spiral bound as it would have lain flatter and been more easy to write in. & #2 I would have made the cover any other color besides white as it is already getting dirty from just general use and everyday handling. Or, I would have had more of a glossy finish so that fingerprints & dirt could be wiped off.

I do like that it has hardcovers on it unlike some other journals
I have used in the past!

I received a complimentary copy of this book from Barbour Publishing and was under no obligation to post a review.

[Marie Pinkham · Rating 5 out of 5]

This lovely book hits on two of my favorites – devotions and journaling. Before even opening it, I was impressed with the cover. The look and feel of the book are wonderful. Inside waits a treasure trove of Bible verses, insights and questions to prompt your journaling. This would make a great addition to your daily devotion time, or perhaps to take with you to a quiet place to collect your thoughts. Whether you add this to your own collection, or give as a gift, it is a book that is sure to become a favorite of many. I received a complimentary copy of this book from Barbour Publishing and was under no obligation to post a review. The thoughts and opinions are mine alone. This book was a delight to use and review.

[Britney · Rating 4 out of 5]

Reading Choosing Real is like experiencing a heartfelt conversation with a friend. Author Bekah Pogue openly and honestly shares her own feelings and struggles, letting readers know they are not alone in their circumstances. “You matter, and how you respond to what goes on in your day-to-day life matters. And celebrating your trust in God, regardless of how large or small your plans are, matters.” Uplifting and encouraging, Choosing Real is a great reminder to embrace and celebrate life’s moments, both planned and unplanned.

I received a complimentary copy of this book from the publisher. No review was required, and all thoughts expressed are my own.

[Denise · Rating 4 out of 5]

When I picked this up, I was hoping for a palatable spiritual memoir to read on a night away. I'd never heard of the author or book before seeing it on the library shelf. And I got so much more.

Thank you, Bekah, for sharing your heart and the truth of God for anyone who finds this gem! It is another Christian mom/wife/woman telling her story of God's transformation, yes. It's a genre that seems flooded right now, but can we truly get too much of hearing how He works?

For me, Choosing Real was a reorientation to living where I'm planted, to seeking truth, to risking for friendship - to choosing what matters. I'm grateful it made it into my hands.

[Laura · Rating 5 out of 5]

I always say that I enjoy reading historical Christian fiction the most of any genre, and most of the time that is true. Curiously, however, it is often the occasional nonfiction book that challenges my thinking and encourages my heart the most. So it was with this book...a book that I checked and re-checked from the library and finally read... and could not put down. I am sure that I will now need to buy a copy of this book, because there were so many passages that spoke encouragement to my heart...as evidenced by the extreme number of scraps of paper sticking up out of the book at this moment waiting for me to find them again and write down all the encouraging quotes!

[Cheri Swalwell · Rating 5 out of 5]

Choosing Real is an amazing journal. I love this book. I can’t decide whether to keep it for myself, give it to my 16-year-old daughter or ask if she’d like for us to use it as something to do together. It’s wonderful. It’s elegant, beautifully written, heart-speaking Scriptures and thought provoking questions. I highly recommend this journal and can think of many people I will buy a copy for.

I received a copy of this book for free from the publisher. All opinions are mine and I was not obligated to write a review.

[Shandon McFive · Rating 2 out of 5]

I confess, I wanted to love this book. I thought it would minister to me in ways that my heart needed when, after first moving to Indiana, I walked through some depression. Although a good book for what it was, I did not find it to be incredible, nor did it minister to me in great ways.

Here, author Bekah Jane Pogue shares stories about her life and fumblings. A excerpt from the book:
When I dismiss the way God shows up in the average, I dismiss how much He longs to come alongside the unremarkable minutes making up today. ...What's more important, getting through it or living it? Page 183

[Heather]

This book is like talking to a friend and I found the style very engaging. It is definitely something I intend to re-read in an effort to focus on applying the information. For me, Choosing Real was a reminder to live where I'm planted and be in the moment, to choose what matters. I'm grateful that I have read it.

*Thank you to Bekah Jane Pogue, Shiloh Run Press and Netgalley for providing a digital copy in exchange for an honest review.

[Stephanie Joy · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5 Stars

This book was very conversational, which at times made me lose interest if it felt like it took a long time for Bekah to make her point. I initially started reading this with a friend long distance, but she quickly tired of the style.of.writing. Seems to fit the blog world better and I came across several errors that editing should’ve picked up. Calling a stop sign a hexagon? 🤔

[Katie M. Reid · Rating 5 out of 5]

What a treat to drink in the audiobook of Choosing Real. I felt invited to the table of my real life (instead of the filtered one) in this honest and insightful narrative by soul care champion, Bekah Pogue. Do yourself a favor and listen to Bekah read you this honey of a book. Chocolate cake recipe included!

[John · Rating 4 out of 5]

Not typically a book that I would pick up and read but, it surprisingly it turned out to be an interesting read. I am so glad that I won this on GoodReads and I you can bet that I will pay it forward and give it to a friend to read. Thanks again.

[Mikayla · Rating 2 out of 5]

I didn't finish this because I found the authors writing style very distracted. Some of the story's she told didn't even seem to fit the subject. Also I couldn't really relate to any of the story's she told.

[Heather · Rating 2 out of 5]

Didn’t finish-very wordy, thoughts didn’t really go together, you can definitely tell this was a first book unfortunately with the grammar and attempt to be “relevant.” Felt like the theology was a bit questionable. Much more of a memoir which I wasn’t expecting.

[Jordy Madueño · Rating 1 out of 5]

I’m sorry but I hated this style. It’s just not for me. Bekah shares a book that seems more like a prayer book with a lot of useless details trying to be poetic which is great for those who like that but I just wanted clear stories with clear points.

[Brynn · Rating 5 out of 5]

Breath of fresh air

I loved this book. It spoke truth and laughter and love which I needed. Books like these don't usually make me cry and I was in the verge of tears more then once. Thank you!

[Ben · Rating 2 out of 5]

*Goodreads giveaway. This book was provided to me for free.*

I liked her story and her humility in telling it.

For whatever reason I didn't feel like she connected with me, like I just read a book that was meant for someone else. Maybe someone with kids will relate more?

[Ann Baxter · Rating 4 out of 5]

Great Christian read

This was a good reminder of what is important. And to look for God in the everyday. He has never let me down. He’s tested me, for sure. But although I might think I’m alone, I never am.

[Norah Peter · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is a good reminder of what life is all about!
Great reaf, I enjoyed, I will re read!

[Ashley · Rating 5 out of 5]

Awesome

This book was exactly what I needed to hear. My soul was nourished with each page I read. I will return to this book again and again.