Okay, so I've got a blast from the past here for you: Approximately a thousand years ago, the first erotica I ever read was some Sleeping Beauty re-telling with psychic sex dreams, and I could not for the life of me remember what it was. I knew it wasn't the Anne Rice ones (those would've scared the bejeezus out of Teen Sarah) - but I was also just a little bit convinced that I'd maybe made the whole thing up in my head, or cobbled together multiple books into one memory.
Then, last weekend, I'm on shift at the bookstore and THIS comes in on a shipment, so we'll have some of Yardley's back catalogue when her new book comes out.
And the cover hit me like a MACK TRUCK to the nostalgia center of my BRAIN, just IMMEDIATELY.
Anyway, I re-read it this week. This is indeed the book that I thought it was - the first erotica I ever read, way back when, in secretive bursts on a shared computer, thinking that was highly scandalous. These days I'm a romance bookseller, so I expected this would read as pretty tame, and it does - but I also expected it wouldn't hold up at all, and it's...actually really decent?
Don't get me wrong, plenty of it is very dumb:
- the weirdly appropriative voodoo plot that shows up out of nowhere halfway through
- characters who could not find a clitoris if their lives depended on it, and seem to think it's located somewhere different in every sex scene
- the eternally stupid misconception that only penetrative sex is real sex
And, listen, there's not really an excuse for any of that. This was the early 2000s, so cultural competency was bad and sex ed was worse, but erotica should know better. I mean, for goodness sake, the only-penetrative-sex-counts misconception ran so rampant it's one of the reasons rates of literal syphilis went up in the early 00's. Syphilis! Like it was the 1490s!
Like, come on people, the only good thing STI's ever did for anybody was kill Christopher Columbus. Spreading those things because you can't tell what is and isn't sex is a bad plan.
So...why is this book still so redeemable?
Because it understands that erotica is about desire. Plots about psychic sex dreams are great and all - but the point of erotica is to feel it. It's titillation above all. If the regular romance genre is about human connection, erotica is about zooming in on the experience of want.
This book gets it. It's all about want: wanting a person, wanting a future, wanting a pleasure.
Also, it's just real good on consent stuff. Like, you'd think it'd be hard to pull off Affirmative Consent Sleeping Beauty - but the psychic sex dreams really are the answer there.
Anyway, good on Yardley, who has come such a long way that I didn't even know she wrote these. And good on my brain, which apparently didn't make the whole existence of this book up. Good time, all around. Extra star just for the nostalgia!