Cycler

Cycler #1

by Lauren McLaughlin

AS FAR AS anyone at her high school knows, Jill McTeague is an average smart girl trying to get her dream date to ask her to the prom.

What no one knows, except for Jill’s mom and dad, is that for the four days Jill is out of school each month, she is not Jill at all. She is Jack, a genuine boy—complete with all the parts. Jack lives his four days per month in the solitude of Jill’s room. But his personality has been building since the cycling began. He is less and less content with his confinement and his cycles are becoming more frequent. Now Jill’s question about the prom isn’t who she'll go with, but who she'll be when the big night arrives.

Genres: Young Adult, Fiction, Fantasy, LGBT, Queer, Science Fiction, Teen

250 pages, Hardcover

First published August 25, 2007

About the author

LAUREN MCLAUGHLIN is the author of five novels, Send Pics, Cycler, (Re)Cycler, Scored, and The Free. She has also written the children’s pictures books Wonderful You and Mitzi Tulane Preschool Detective, both of which feature adoptive families. She is an adoptive mother herself. Prior to her career in fiction, she spent ten years in the film business. She produced commercials and music videos for such artists as Nas, The B52’s, the Spin Doctors, and Monie Love, then went on to write several screenplays, including Prisoner of Love starring Naomi Campbell, Specimen starring Mark Paul Gosselaar, and Hypercube (the sequel to the cult favorite Cube). She also produced American Psycho, Buffalo 66, and several other feature films. She is a member of the improv comedy troupe Amorphous Horse, which performs in a variety of venues in and around London, UK.

Reviews

[laaaaames · Rating 1 out of 5]

Holy effing crap this book was a disappointment. I am bursting with so much to say that I'll try to stay organized but I am not making any promises.

Firstly: the concept is so, so good. Why isn't this a better execution? In fact, I almost gave the book two stars just because the concept is awesome, but, no, sorry. One star for you.

I find it very interesting that in Lauren McLaughlin's bio, she mentions being passionate about women's rights. How odd, then, that she litters the girl POV with, you know, girlie crap, clothes and boys and prompromprom while the boy POV is dick this and cock that and wankwankwank. There have been studies done that most YA-aged boys are not reading YA, and therefore most boy POVs are going to be read by girls (and this book is definitely marketed for girls anyway) so I feel it's incredibly irresponsible to fill girls' heads with the idea that while they're thinking a billion things, guys are just thinking about their insert-euphemism-where-now?. I mean. Yes, they are thinking about that. (The girls are too.) They're also thinking about their friends and their parents and school and college and, you know, whatever they're into. THEY ARE PEOPLE. And I am so, so sick of media that perpetuates that they aren't. I'm so frustrated that girls are raised by this standard that boys are walking dicks and they are the ones with brains and worries and OMG DID I MENTION PROM?

I try very hard to judge books on their own merits (or lack thereof) and not just how I'd write the book, but I must mention that I personally had thought the boy Jill becomes once a month would be her just, ya know, with boy stuff. But, no, it's a different person, which I guess I found less satisfying as a read. Also did he have to be so much STRONGER with MORE MUSCLES and BROADER and, ugh, I get it, ladies delicate, men not! Where the hell did you learn about women's rights, McLaughlin?

Also I don't get how if Jack and Jill are totally different people how cutting his hair would even affect Jill? I mean, he has a frigging penis and she doesn't. ??? Also Jill had to learn this HUGE MINDWIPE thing so that she doesn't have to remember all the grossssss things Jack does like BEING A BOY and NOT SHOWERING (because, you guys, duhhh, being clean is FOR GIRLS!) so why at the end when the public transformation takes place is Jill all WAIT WHAT JUST HAPPENED?

What else rang false?
--Jill tells her mom effing EVERYTHING even though her mom is known to overreact and freak and do things Jill doesn't like
--Why is Prom on 6/23? So the "cycle" lines up? Maybe you should have started the book a month and a half sooner, McLaughlin.
--If someone started walking funny and ignoring people, would they really develop ice queen status at a school they have attended basically their whole life?
--A shit-ton of the prose.

How ridiculous that at the end Ramie totally embraced Prom as IMPORTANT even though she'd been railing against it the whole time? I guess that's what girls eventually realize. Who needs ideals when there is FASHION? Yes, Ramie was a fashionista but she either would have already looked to Prom as some sort of oasis of FASHION! or would have ended up dismissing it for the same reasons she had from the beginning of the book.

Total disappointment.

[Trin · Rating 3 out of 5]

Once a month, teenager Jill McTeague turns into a boy for three days. Whereas I would be like, “OMG! Best period alternative ever!”—especially since Jill is lucky enough to have a cute bisexual boy fall in love with her—Jill is less than psyched by this little bit of genderfuckery. In fact, thanks to the influence of her cartoonishly evil mother, Jill has totally sublimated her male side, causing him to split into a separate personality called Jack. And Jack’s starting to get pissed.

Frankly, I do not blame him. Jill is such a weenie. Not only can she not even consider any solution to her problem outside of total denial, she freaks out when her awesome boyfriend confesses he likes dudes as well as chicks. Girl, as far as I am concerned you are living the dream here—I find your whining even less attractive than Buffy constantly bemoaning the fact that she doesn’t have a normal life.

McLaughlin’s got a great premise here, but she fails to take full advantage of it. Things didn’t really get moving until the very end—at which point you find out, nope, better wait for the sequel. Sigh. Well, you know I’ll be there—examples of decent published genderfuck are simply too few and far between.

[Punk · Rating 1 out of 5]

Four days a month, Jill's female body turns into a male one, and Jill becomes Jack.

I was excited about this book because genderfuck! Then I started to read it. Jill is a twit. Her sections feel like Seventeen Magazine wrote them, right down to the preoccupation with the prom, the awkward slang, and the bad relationship advice.

But I stuck with it because genderfuck! I still had hope that Jack could be my buddy. He thinks Jill is a twit, too. Then he sneaks out of the house, climbs onto Jill's best friend's roof, and watches her sleeping. The only reason he doesn't jerk off up there is because he falls off the roof first. He had his pants open and his dick in his hand and he knew he shouldn't do it and he did it anyway. I was completely horrified.

I slapped the book shut on page 76 and drop-kicked it back to the library. It wasn't doing anything right and then it adds STALKING and BEING A HUGE CREEPY PERVERT into the mix?

Oh, fuck no.

[Tessa · Rating 2 out of 5]

First of all, I will credit this book for its premise. I think I first read about it on Jezebel or something and thought it might be interesting, even for a young adult novel.

But it was absolutely maddening. Harder to read than Twilight, even if possible. I know that teenage girls can sometimes be unbearable (I was one at one point!) but wow. For being such a gender-bending premise it was incredibly stereotypical. It was as if to say, "look at how with the times we are! There are characters in the book that are totally open to gays and bisexuals. That's so totally different and with the times!"

But I didn't feel it. I really wanted it to be more than it was. At first it seemed the main character Jill might be a sort of parody of a normal teenage girl, with her Jack side mocking her shallow lifestyle. But it became apparent that it wasn't going to go deeper than this. The disappointment so frequent of the young adult novel (something I probably should have expected) should I hope that they would give the kids more credit?

Meh. But it's an idea I would have liked to have seen explored a little more.

[Jennifer Wardrip · Rating 4 out of 5]

Reviewed by Jaglvr for TeensReadToo.com

CYCLER is one of those rare storiess that can transcend one genre of book. Touted as a science fiction story, it can easily pass for a contemporary teen novel, with a little bit of mystery and even horror (if the concept of the story creeps you out!) thrown in.

Jill McTeague is a normal high school girl. She's got good friends who are helping her to snag a date to the prom. Not any date, though. She's been asked by her science lab partner but brushed him off saying it was too early to plan for the prom. She'd rather go with Tommy Knutson. They have Calculus together and she catches him looking at her throughout class.

There's only one small glitch in her plans. As long as her cycle stays on course, she can attend the prom as Jill. But if there is even a slight miscalculation on her part, she may be Jack at the time.

Jack is the person she becomes for four days prior to her period each month. The cycling from female to male started three years ago. She and her mom have been to all the doctors and had all the tests done, but no one can explain it or give her any help. So the McTeague family has taken matters into their own hands. When Jill becomes Jack, he is forced to stay home from school (they've created an ongoing need for blood transfusions each month for Jill by way of explanation) and denied access to the outside world. Jack has no access to the Internet, or a cell phone. His only stimulation comes from the piles of books, DVDs and porn Jill or her mother procures for him (thanks to the sticky notes he leaves for Jill when he's visiting).

Things are going along smoothly for Jill and her crush, Tommy, has started noticing her, no thanks to the crazy J-bar incident at the local ski slope. Now Jill just has to get him to ask her to the prom. However, in the meantime, Jack has snuck out of the house on his latest visit to peek at a sleeping Ramie, Jill's best friend. Jack is obsessed with Ramie. Mrs. McTeague strips Jack of all privileges and locks him in his room.

As the prom gets closer and closer, the cycling becomes more complicated for Jill and Jack. Jill has a harder time forcing Jack's residual thoughts into oblivion, and being around her best friend draws conflicting emotions within her.

CYCLER is a unique story that has many surprising elements within its covers. There is a lot of graphic sex talk, so those easily offended should refrain from picking this one up. My only complaint about the novel was the repetitive use of the world "mal." It was used quite often throughout the story and seemed to hamper the flow, rather than assist it. However, that being said, the entire concept is fascinating and kept me spellbound throughout the entire novel. It's not until the prom arrives does everything finally come together with the appropriate conclusion.

CYCLER is Ms. McLaughlin's first published novel, and according to the bio at the end of the book, a sequel is in the works. I know I for one will be keeping my eyes open to see what happens with Ramie, Tommy, Jack, and Jill!

[Natalie Lundberg · Rating 1 out of 5]

I'm not really sure what I think about this book. It took a lot of odd turns that... are just that.. odd. I can't really describe a whole lot of the book with out giving away a good chunk of the plot. However i'll try to.

Jill is a 17 year old girl with a unique condition. Every month about the time "aunt flow" would come to visit she would turn into a 17 year old boy named Jack. Jack was hated by Jill's mother, and as a result was forced to live in her room the four days a month he existed (thus causing him to obsess over porn and "relieving himself"). The story focuses on the differences of people and sex. If you don't mind reading about masterbating A LOT then you might like this. It does give an interesting outlook on a males point of view, but in the end I can't really say I would recommend this book.

[YA Reads Book Reviews · Rating 3 out of 5]

Meet Jill – she’s on a mission. Prom is coming up and she is determined to bag herself the perfect date. But Jill is harbouring a big secret that could not only destroy her chances of showing up to prom on the arm of a hottie, but could also ruin her entire life.

Meet Jack – his parents don’t like him much, but he’s misunderstood. They keep him locked up in his bedroom so he can’t cause any trouble, but Jack is tired of being their prisoner. And anyway, he has his sights set on a girl, and he can’t very well capture her attention sitting in his bedroom, can he?

But Jack and Jill share a common problem that might stop them both from achieving their goals. Unbeknownst to all, they actually share the same body. For four days out of every month, Jill sprouts man bits and transforms into Jack. And Jack is all boy.

The concept is original. How many novels have you read where the female protagonist turns into a boy when she should be having her period? For me, this is the first. The story is narrated through both Jack and Jill’s perspectives, so readers get a chance to get inside both their heads. While they’re both so different, essentially they want the same thing: love. Will their gender mutation problem hinder their individual quests?

If you’re into the whole girl-meets-boy, girl-gets-boy type of story then Cycler is definitely a novel you’ll enjoy. Jill is awkward in her pursuits for love and is a character that I’m sure many teenagers all around the world will relate to. You’ll laugh with her, you’ll feel her pain, and mortification too. She’s a very real, three-dimensional character. Interestingly enough, even though he’s the cause of most of Jill’s problems, readers will undoubtedly also fall hopelessly in love with Jack. He’s a victim of circumstance and forgiving his poor behavior is an easy task.

As the novel closes, Jack and Jill appear no closer to a resolution than they were at the beginning of the novel. I can’t help but wonder (and hope) that McLaughlin is planning a sequel. Jack and Jill’s adventures seem far from over.

Cycler is quirky, funny and highly creative. Cycler is a standout debut novel that Lauren McLaughlin should be proud

[Carrie Rolph · Rating 1 out of 5]

Jill's "terrible" secret is that four days out of every month, she turns into a boy. It's a clever idea that could have been a good book for teens interested in bi-sexuality or queer gender. Unfortunately, the attitudes towards queerness and gender are so stereotyped and/or offensive that I can't actually see it appealing to queer teens.

(It's okay though, the phrase "not homophobic" was used so many times it couldn't possibly *be* homophobic. Everyone knows if you say it, that makes it true.)

[Maude Fleurent · Rating 2 out of 5]

2,5 🌟

Ok, premièrement, ça mal vieilli. Très heureuse de voir qu’en 13 ans on a évolué me rassure. Bon au début je pensais qui avait pas de suite fac j’étais en criss parce que c’est une OSTI de fin cliffhanger. Mais là j’ai vu qui avait une suite fac je ne suis pas sans réponse va falloir je lise l’autre je suis trop curieuse 😂

[Lacey Louwagie · Rating 4 out of 5]

I fell for this book based entirely on the premise: that the main character goes through a 4-day "cycle" of being male every month the way other girls go through their period. I expected this to be a pretty gimmicky book, and it looked as if it were going to start out that way: both Jill and Jack (her 4-day male alter-ego) start out reduced to the lowest common denominator of their genders. Jill is obsessed with getting the boy she's crushing on to ask her out to the prom, and Jack spends his 4-day-a-month existence in Jill's room jerking off to porn. But then Jack decides that he's entitled to a life of his own, and things get interesting as it becomes increasingly impossible for Jill to keep Jack "closeted."

Characters that seem stock at the opening of this book develop a respectable amount of depth by the closing, including Jill/Jack's parents who, though dysfunctional, are painfully believable. (She could teach Julie Anne Peters a thing or two about creating believable 'evil' parents. OK, I'll stop ragging on Julie Anne Peters' parents in my next book review, I promise). In the end, the book provides a welcome examination of gender, sexuality, and the harm that comes from trying to fit people into boxes.

[Becket · Rating 3 out of 5]

Four days out of each month, biologically-female Jill "cycles" and becomes biologically-male Jack. Jill has always managed to keep her mind separate from Jack...until Jack falls for Jill's best friend. Wackiness ensues.

A strange combination of fluffy romantic comedy and serious object lesson about human gender and sexuality. At first I was incredibly annoyed by Jill's femme-y shallowness and repetitive slang, as well as Jack's obnoxious extreme guyness. But eventually I was sucked into the fast-moving and compulsively readable story. The characters are memorable, if not terrifically deep.

That said, I'm still not sure how I feel about the message this novel is sending. Basically, this is a book that touches on the experiences of intersex and genderqueer teens, only it does so through the artificial, sci-fi device of "cycling." This book only looks at the personal experience of being genderqueer, stopping at the very moment that social and political issues begin to enter into the story. Hopefully the sequel will address how Jack/Jill and his/her significant others deal with the "coming-out" experience.

Recommended for older teens (language and sex) who are willing to question how gender informs who we are and who we love.

[Heidi Cullinan]

I don't feel I can accurately rate this book because I didn't finish it. I got about a third or so of the way in, started to get nervous, and did research. So glad I did.

What I wanted from this book was an exploration of gender. I wanted to read about the complexity and wonder of it, and right or wrong, the back of the book and even the intro made me think we were going to learn in the end, that we're all the same.

The more I read, the more worried I got. So I came here to check reviews. I have friends all over the orientation map, and I have a xale friend whom I thought of a lot while I was reading. I even asked hir what xe thought of the book before I continued reading, but xe hadn't heard of it. I'm so glad. I'm going to rush off and tell hir not to read this please, ever.

And I'll tell you this right now--I liked Jack a hell of a lot more than I ever liked Jill. Jack, buddy, I really hope in some universe you get out. If not, come haunt me and I'll try to work you into one of mine eventually.

[Sam a.k.a Rory · Rating 3 out of 5]

La première fois que je suis passée devant ce livre à la FNAC, je n’ai même pas pu me résoudre à lire la quatrième de couverture tellement la couverture rose m’a fait mauvaise impression. Ce n’est que plus tard, sur Internet, que je me suis penchée à nouveau dessus.

Le fait est que j’ai toujours été attirée par ce genre de récits où une fille se fait passer pour un garçon comme c’est dans le cas dans le drama japonais « Hanazakari no Kimitachi e », les dramas coréens « The 1st Shop of Coffee Prince » (mon préféré <3) et « You’re Beautiful » mais aussi dans bien d’autres films non-asiatiques comme « She’s the Man » avec Amanda Bynes et ses grimaces à gogo. Vous comprenez donc mon intérêt pour un livre dans lequel une fille se transforme en garçon cinq jours par mois. Passée la répulsion de la couverture rose, je cherchais des avis sur ce livre, n’en trouvais que deux positifs et me préparais à abandonner l’idée de le lire un jour lorsque je le dénichais à moins de 3€. Pour ce prix là, pourquoi se priver ?
Lire la suite :)

[Georgiana 1792 · Rating 4 out of 5]

Camuffato da libro di pseudo-fantascienza (la/il protagonista è un ermafrodita ciclico, nel senso che Jack compare solo durante i quattro giorni di sindrome premestruale di Jill), il libro è evidentemente un romanzo che parla di confusione sessuale negli adolescenti. OK, Jill ha già 17 anni, ma questa trasformazione avviene da quando ne aveva 14 ed è forse da leggersi come un rifiuto del proprio corpo durante alcune fasi del mese e, in seguito, come una giustificazione all'attrazione che lei prova per la sua amica del cuore. La madre è da sparare! Anche se la sua reazione al segreto della figlia è prevedibile, immagino. Infatti il padre si è ritirato in cantina a fare meditazione yoga per non dover dare la sua opinione. Un po' codardo, in effetti, ma finché Jill dà retta alla madre cos'altro può fare?
Lo stile è un po' troppo... non saprei, direi ingenuo quando narra Jill e un po' crudo e irritante quando è Jack al timone, con una trasformazione completa da Dr. Jekyll a Mr. Hyde (Jekyll richiama anche foneticamente sia Jack che Jill, no?)

[Sue · Rating 2 out of 5]

I picked this one up because the cover blurb intrigued me, and I wanted to see how the author handled the "cycling".

Sadly, the book failed to live up to the promise of its premise. The build up, establishing Jill as a normal high school student with a secret, went on for far too long and contributed little to the overall story. Jack's sections were far more amusing, if rather insulting to males in general.

So what saved it? The last third of the book, where tension actually began to build. The indication that not everything was what it seemed to be intrigued me, especially the bits about Jill/Jack's parents.

Unfortunately, it didn't go far enough. Yes, I know a sequel is in the works, but the entire book felt like an overly-long prologue. I'm still waiting to find out what happens.

Am I going to read the next one? Yes. Simply because I'm hoping that the potential the author's built up is finally utilized. But I'm prepared to be disappointed again.

[Nancy · Rating 3 out of 5]

While extremely far-fetched in its premise, this is an interesting look at gender and gender identity, and one of the rare books for teens dealing with bisexual characters. Every month, for four days, Jill's alter-ego Jack comes to the fore, complete with teenage male body and desires. Jill has learned to block out all memories of his takeover of her body, and until this year he has agreed to stay hidden at home. But now he has a crush on her best friend, and even window bars and a keypad lock system on the door can't keep him inside. Meanwhile Jill has a crush of her own, on bisexual Tommy. What happens when both Jack and Jill are on the loose on the same night makes for an interesting conclusion. The subplot of her parents marital problems is not explored and should have been left out, but otherwise this is an interesting and, at times, funny book.

[Zev · Rating 1 out of 5]

Wow, I could hardly wait for this book to be over. I had first read it in 2009 and had really liked it. I was a very different person back then, and society allowed a lot of stuff that they don't now. Eleven years after I first read the book, I was dismayed to discover that it was sexist towards both men and women, didn't mention anyone outside the binary, was incredibly homophobic and biphobic, was incredibly ableist and the author had never met anyone tall in her -life.-

Everyone in this book is a caricature. The mom is incredibly controlling and hates her husband, but won't initiate divorce. She seems to strongly dislike all men, which also explains why she has no interest in helping her daughter have a healthier relationship to Jack somehow. The dad has been exiled to the basement and fits a variety of hippie stereotypes, but he used to be a corporate lawyer. His wife hates him for this and other reasons, since she put him through law school. The dad is pointless as a character. He could have been cut entirely and nothing important would have changed. Jill's male love interest is so bland that I forgot his name. His only purpose was to establish that Jill was omg totes not attracted to icky Raimey leave her alone omg u guise. And the author gets to check a box saying there's a queer character in it. Jill's love interest has no character beyond enjoying skiing, needing math help, and being bisexual. He could have been replaced by a sexy lamp post and the story could continue. There was no real relationship between him and Jill.

And then there's Raimey. She is stated to be Jill's best friend. She's clearly supposed to be this free-spirited, ahead of the game fashionista who is relaxed around boys, and a supportive best friend. Raimey, the object of both Jack and Jill's sexual attraction, dresses strangely and is stated to be nearly six feet tall and weigh less than a hundred and twenty pounds. That is underweight, and her doctor would be asking her about eating disorders. The first thing that popped up in google about it was a pro-anorexia forum. No health issue is mentioned in the book that causes this IRL, such as a metabolic one. And of course, the author gives Raimey D cup breasts. On an underweight teenager. I'm not saying it doesn't happen, but it's -incredibly- rare. Jill fairly drools over Rainey's breasts. Due to the homophobia the book is drenched in, this wasn't the author's intent, but it -is- what she wrote. At one point in the book, Rainey distorts a corset dress of Jill's. by wearing it, due to their height and bust differences. She's described as stuffing her breasts into a dress fit for Jill. She would not be able to breathe. The outfit would likely tear irreparably if she were able to fit into it. She would be dizzy and lightheaded, not rushing out the door. I don't know how Raimey feels about Jill herself since the book is mostly from Jill's POV and Jill is always drooling over her. Jill insists that she's also interested in a guy at school. When she reacts negatively to him coming out as bisexual, I instantly understood Jill to have massive confusion over and contempt for her own sexuality. She's always going on about how hot and "doable" Raimey is, but insists it's the guys at school who say it. Such was repetitive, annoying, and had no substance. I'd feel sorry for her if she weren't so annoying. "If You Could Be Mine" by Sara Farizan has the trope as well of being in love with and sexually attracted to your best friend, and it's done much, much better.

Jack has no such hesitation over his own sexuality or expressing it. He engages in stalking Raimey and is a voyeur towards her, actually falling off her roof with his hand down his pants. That is Jack's only personality, couched in deep bitterness at his lot in life: he's trapped in a teen girl's body every day except four days out of each month, and the teen girl and her family hate him. No one else knows he exists. The book opens with an attempt at explaining this, but it reads like a teenage girl giving birth and referring to male anatomy using words appropriate for five-year-olds. The girl, Jill, is actually shapeshifting into a boy, Jack, which she does for four days before she gets her period every month. "Blood and Chocolate" by Annette Curtis Klause describes shapeshifting more realistically and vividly, but that is a book about wolf-shifters. I seriously wonder if the author of this book, Lauren McLaughlin, got the premise from Season 4 of "Buffy The Vampire Slayer" episode "Phases." In it, Willow attempts to comfort her boyfriend, Oz about his newfound werewolf status by saying, "It's okay. Three days out of the month, I'm not much fun to be around either." That's awful specific, Zev, you the reader might be understandably thinking. But the book is full of Buffy-speak, and jokes that would be considered funny at Sunnydale High. BTVS originated the dialogue. Here, it's jarring and tries too hard.

The plot of this novel is not "What happens if Jack is discovered as part of Jill?" No, this is "ZOMG clothes prom ugh Jack prom planning for prom." What a waste of opportunity, considering what the premise supposedly was. I expected a book with such premise to be able to use medical terms for genitals, and to treat PMS symptoms matter-of-factly, which it did not. Back to Jack and Rainey briefly. Rainey has no regard for her safety. She doesn't know who Jack is, and lets him itno her room because he's hot. They have never met before. She lets a stranger in after he taps at her window, and she kisses him and it progresses. EW. This in no way pardons Jack's crimes. It's more of, "both of you suck." As the page count increased, so did the homophobia. The whole book was deeply unpleasant. The ending was a clear setup for a sequel in an annoying way.

[Sean Benson · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is one serious weird book.
I picked the twist but still wanted to keep reading to see it happen.
Jill annoyed the hell out of me but it was ok because Jack felt the same way about her and said what I was thinking, offsetting her prissiness with vulgarity.
It was written as a narrative, even interacting with the reader at times which was great, especially after Jack had sex for the first time and kept insulting the reader then reminding them of his wonderful night like he had ADD.

They didn't just cover the topic of physical sex and gender identity, they also addressed problems with sexuality and coming out in school.

An overall wonderful book and I can't wait to get the sequel.

[Mars R · Rating 1 out of 5]

I... did not read the description for this book carefully enough. I thought it was gonna be a YA book exploring gender identity and also bicycles. Like, I pictured some nice young queer trying to cover themselves up in normal school, and then going to sleepaway cycling camp once a month to really be themselves. Maybe with the world's most confusing supportive parents. I WAS WRONG.

This book contains:
-No bicycles
-No exploration of gender identity
-No awareness of gender identity
-No supportive parents
-No likeable characters
-No relatable characters

Instead, there is:
-Biphobia
-Homophobia
-Author basically condoning both of the above
-Gender essentialism
-Sexism
-Author condoning/celebrating the above
-V detailed description of YA sexuality

[Debbie · Rating 5 out of 5]

A real surprise of a book. Okay, it's difficult to walk around in public reading a book with this cover, but there are always folders you could hide it in, or bigger books. Trust me, it's worth the hassle. This is a bizarre Dr. Jekyll & Mr. Hyde / Cinderella / Frankenstein story for 21st century teens. It deals with identity and sexuality in an entirely unique way. The only negative comment I have is that some of the slang was used way too often and took away from a few scenes. Other than that ... enjoy!

[Soso · Rating 3 out of 5]

Bien qu'ayant une couverture rose, la couleur qualifiant le mieux ce bouquin est : gris ! En effet, rien n'est ou tout blanc ou tout noir, les "gentils" héros et les "méchants" d'un autre.
L'histoire originale, est difficile à catégoriser. Un seul élément fait de ce livre une fiction, mais les problématiques et le contexte sont eux bien réels. Amatrice de fiction que je suis, je n'ai pas complètement adhérer à l'histoire, mais ai tout de même fini ma lecture avec enthousiasme.
P.S : Ma lecture précédente - Hunger Games aura sûrement influer sur mon évaluation actuelle ! ^^

[Merrie Haskell]

I had a slightly difficult time approaching this book as it seemed to occasionally dart from some rather serious subject matter, rather seriously addressed, into high comedy. In spite of that, the book was compulsively readable, supplied a sophisticated and refreshing take on gender politics, and when I handed the book off to my 16-year-old stepdaughter, she devoured it in about 24 hours.

[Sarah · Rating 3 out of 5]

It's hard to describe, since it is a speculative light fantasy about gender identity and sexual orientation, but it manages to talk about these things in a realistic setting that speaks to universal teen themes. Also I was extremely excited to see an openly bisexual guy in this book. All the characters were strong and well developed, particularly her parents, Tommy, and Ramie.

[Anderse · Rating 2 out of 5]

Great premise with lackluster follow through. One dimensional characters and flat plot left me disappointed. The ending was an interesting take on sex, gender, attraction and relationships though. I'd recommend to a voracious reader under 13 who'd probably love it. Everyone else, skip.

[Rebecca · Rating 3 out of 5]

An interesting premise but I can only recommend it as a sleep aid. I'd read 3 pages of this at night and it's was lights out.

[Kara Babcock · Rating 4 out of 5]

I very quickly decided I did not like Jill McTeague very much. In fact, my dislike of her was exceeded only by my dislike of her mother (but we’ll get to that). I thought Jill was shallow, rude, and selfish in the way she handles her monthly transformation into Jack.

And I was right.

And that’s one reason why Cycler is a powerful book. Although Jill is one of the protagonists and one of the people undergoing this unique experience, this does not automatically make her a better, more understanding person. Her unique perspective doesn’t automatically make her more accepting of Tommy’s bisexuality. Her reaction to notes from Jack asking for more porn isn’t “Oh, that poor boy who is stuck in my room, all alone, for the four days a month he is allowed to exist.” It’s “Eww, porn, boys are gross.”

By portraying Jill as a … shall we say, an unenlightened teenage girl, Lauren McLaughlin creates a more fulfilling story arc for Cycler. Jill is both victim and complicit (in Jack’s suffering). The problems she faces—trying to get a date for prom, Jack’s appearances coming more frequently and less predictably, her poor reaction to Tommy telling her that he’s bi … these are all important problems to her. Because they are normal problems, and Jill, like most teenagers, has the idea that she wants to be normal. Despite the fact that she is a walking metaphor for “no one is normal,” Jill rejects Jack as an aberration and does everything she can to negate him—as the mantra “I am all girl,” literally the first line of the novel, indicates. Jill isn’t all girl, as Jack demonstrates.

Giving Jack his own voice is McLaughlin’s second stroke of genius. The sense of desperation and mounting existential crisis that he communicates is very moving. At first, it’s difficult to grasp the extent to which Jill and her family have fucked up here … but after a couple of Jack chapters, it is obvious that we have gone far down a rabbithole of twisted abuse.

But it’s all for Jill’s own good, right?

The only person I liked less than Jill was Jill’s mother. I can forgive Jill her faults—partly because they are very much a product of her mother’s influence, mixed with the questionable upbringing provided by American media…. While I can understand and sympathize with the plight that has driven Jill’s mother to these extremes, I can’t bring myself to forgive her the behaviour. Unfortunately, Jill’s mother represents an all-too-common type of parent portrayed—sometimes championed, sometimes mocked, sometimes deconstructed—in media. She doesn’t want her child to be special; she wants her child to be normal—and so help them, if that means breaking them, she will do it.

Arguably the full-on creepiness of Jill’s mom’s obsession is apparent in the lockdown they put Jack into later in the book. For me, however, the most creepy moment is probably when they go wig shopping. The determination that Jill ascribes to her mother’s epic search for the right wig to disguise the “damage” that Jack wrought to Jill and Jack’s hair is deep. Deeply deep, even, to borrow a turn of phrase from Jill and her friends. As we see more and more evidence of the way Jill’s mother views Jack as an unhealthy parasite rather than, you know, her child, it’s easier to understand why she is so set on delivering to Jill as “ordinary” an American teenage girl experience as possible. Even if that means wigs and tranquilizers and locking Jill up for four days like a werewolf.

(Can I just say that it sucks that Jill turns into a dude for four days a month and still gets her period and she doesn’t get any superpowers to boot.)

But really, of course, Jill’s mom is just the representative in this microcosm of how most of our society views gender as a binary and a normative concept. You are punished if you step outside of either of these boxes. Jill’s mother is more interested in ensuring her child stays inside the boxes. And it’s an understandable perspective, as I mentioned, because she’s concerned for how society might judge her child for deviating from these norms. I just wish she had the courage to recognize that, in protecting her child, she is harming her child too.

Now, the young adult audience reading Cycler is not necessarily going to have the language to talk about these things like I am now. That’s an artifact of my ivory tower days and, you know, reading lots of books. But I’d like to think that books like this one help adolescents think more about these issues, and about the assumptions that they themselves make when it comes to gender. McLaughlin highlights this in how Jill, Ramie, and Daria discuss Tommy’s bisexuality. And again, this is where Jill not being perfect is really useful: as a flawed protagonist, she is easier to identify with. We can see a character who, like us, makes mistakes and has prejudices when it comes to gender and sexuality … and we can see her being challenged, overcoming those prejudices, and becoming a better person. Flawed characters are valuable because we are flawed readers.

I also like how the premise that McLaughlin uses here has connotations beyond gender that feed back into our stereotypes about gender. Obviously there is the whole parallel with menstruation—monthly cycle, lasts three or four days, onset at puberty, etc. And, as I alluded to earlier, it’s comparable to a monthly curse like lycanthropy: every full moon, Jill becomes a monster … a teenage boy! Get it? Because boys are monstrous from a teenage girl point of view?

What this taps into, of course, is this idea of Othering the things we are not. Jill transforms monthly into the Other, a boy, something she could not possibly understand. McLaughlin emphasizes this through the language that both Jill and her mother use, the stereotypical “boys are so weird” lines. Where do girls and women first hear those? From parents. From adults. From school.

The thing is, we aren’t all that different. Or at least, if we are different, are we not also similar? After all, everyone poops. Therein lies another pernicious danger of the gender binary. It’s one thing to accept that some people want to perform gender differently from how it was assigned to them at birth. Tt’s another thing to follow this to the logical conclusion that gender boxes themselves become an increasingly tenuous concept. But I’ll argue that you can’t support rigid gender roles and still be supportive of people who perform gender in a non-cisgender way.

(I’ll point out that 2009!me might not have thought this far—I know 2008!me certainly didn’t, because at that point I was still shaky on this idea that gender is entirely a social construct. Yay for changing and learning!)

So much of the cultural activities we engage in reinforce these stereotypical binaries, though. From prom to sex ed to celebrations of matrimony and childbirth, there is an emphasis on separating and Othering the genders. But this is so harmful, because Othering leads to alienation, which leads to the fear and hate that then becomes misogyny, prejudice, and structural oppression.

But I digress.

I digress because Cycler is really good at hitting the notes required to make people think about these things. Jill’s experience is both atypical and science-fictional—she is not, it’s important to stress, an example of someone realizing that their gender doesn’t coincide with the one they were assigned at birth. In Jill’s case, her sex is quite literally changing in a physical, biochemical way—and, consequently, over the years Jill’s personality has bifurcated into another person who performs gender as a man. Whether she can come to accept herself for who she is and achieve the synthesis her dad advises remains to be seen. Alas, my library does not have Recycler, and it’s not actually available from Chapters, so I had to resort to the Amazon marketplace to find a copy. But it’s on its way, because I want to find out! (I don’t hear great things from the Goodreads reviews, alas … but I live in hope.)

I put this book on my to-read list in 2009, back when the sequel came out, but I never got around to reading it until now. In the past six years, my understanding of gender issues has changed and deepened, so my perspective on Cycler is very different from what 2009!me would have thought of it. I was much closer to the target audience back then, of course. Would past!me have liked this as much as I do now? I would like to think so.

And as I mentioned already, I don’t think you need the knowledge and language I have to understand, appreciate, or talk about the issues in this book. Instead, it’s a great way to get that conversation started and get young people thinking about gender. As a lover of reading, and now as an educator and especially an English teacher, I’m trying to read more YA literature so I know what to recommend to students. This goes on the “definitely recommend” pile.

[Becky · Rating 2 out of 5]

McLaughlin, Lauren. 2008. Cycler.

This book is blurbed by Scott Westerfeld, one of my favorite authors, "Artfully fractured and wickedly smart. A brilliant screwball comedy about love, self-knowledge, and the secret identities inside all of us." Part of me is curious what book he read, because that sure wasn't my take on Cycler. Proof yet again that reading is subjective.

I have mixed feelings on this one. I'll try to explain the pros and cons as I see them throughout my review.

First sentence: "I am all girl."

Premise: Narrated by Jill and Jack, the book tells the stories of two teens living in one body. Jill is Jill. She has the body--a female body--most of the month. But four days out of every month, Jill transforms into Jack, a teen boy with very real male desires and thoughts. It's hard to wrap your mind around this one. Imagine being a girl most of the time--but four days out of each month having a penis. (Though never once (to my recollection) does the author actually use the word penis. It's always referred to not-so-subtly in often-lame terms which you typically only find in bad romances.) It's something that Jill doesn't want to cope with--and neither do her parents. Fortunately or unfortunately you may say, Jill has discovered a way to block out her Jack memories. To erase him from her mind most of the time. But still.

The novel opens with this transformation from Jack-to-Jill in progress.

"I am all girl."
I say it because my body is betraying me.
In my dream, the colorful autumn day becomes night. The Ferris wheel speeds up, breaks free of its foundation and rolls through the darkened woods. Shearing tree branches with loud splintery crunches, it rolls toward the black lake at the edge of the tree line.
From deep within me, behind organs, beneath muscles, a jagged pain is born.
"I am all girl."
I open my eyes to the real night, the thick molasses darkness of it. But it's only when I spot the red numbers of my clock that I'm sure I'm awake: 4:27 AM. The pain is building to a sure and steady climax and I don't know who I am.
Jack or Jill.
"I am all girl!" I squeeze through clenched teeth.
There's a land mine exploding outward from my stomach and lower spine.
I'm not supposed to wake up in the middle of things. All of this is supposed to happen while I sleep. I shove my hand beneath the sheets, praying, hoping the transformation is nearly complete, but when I reach lower, there it is--limp, smooth and insistent.
Jack.
He's supposed to fade in the night and I'm supposed to wake up fully constructed. Instead I have his thing* to contend with and a deep ache that, now that I think of it, is not exploding outward but sucking inward like a vortex.
"I am all girl."
That's my mantra. I use it to forget. But it does nothing to ease the pain. (1-2)

I found the transformation sequences a bit odd in terms of writing--of language and style.

Then the split begins. At the base of Jack's thing, the pain gathers to a diamond point. I grab Mom's cool hand and squeeze. My flesh punctures from within. Then, zipperlike, it tears itself open. I throw my head from side to side.
"I." Gasp. "Am." Gasp. "All." Gasp. "Girl!"
"It's okay," Mom says. But I hear the strain in her voice. She's starting to panic too.
The split now complete beneath Jack's quivering thing, I try to pull my legs together. I don't know why. Protective instinct, I guess. But I can't control my legs or anything else. My body is in control, orchestrating its mal proceedings from the angry vortex at the base of my spine.
The vortex sucks harder now, pulling at my bones, my muscles, retracting my thighs, melting the firm stomach until it's soft and feminine. My body remakes itself with no mercy, sanding crisp edges from my jawbone, deflating the gentle biceps, brutally inflating my breasts.
"I am all girl!" I scream, all sense gone. (3-4)

The chapters alternate between the two narrators. In Jill's sections, she's dealing with your typical issues. She has a crush on a guy, Tommy Knutson, and she wants to figure out a way to get him to ask her to prom. She has a best friend, Ramie, who's into designing clothes. The two often get together and gossip. Do typical "girlie" things. In Jack's sections, we meet a very frustrated guy. A guy who has literally never been let out of the house. He's a typical guy too. All about porn and masturbating. He has a crush on Ramie, Jill's best friend. And he replays those scenes--of Jill with Ramie--over and over again in his mind. But there comes a time when Jack refuses to stay compliant. He wants out. He decides to visit Ramie at night. That is to go to her house and try to look into her window. To see if he can watch her. (A bit stalkerish I suppose. But then again he has no social training.) Ramie does notice eventually. And the two become better acquainted--a lot better acquainted.

Life is far from perfect for both Jack and Jill.

This is a novel that is meant to explore gender, sexual orientation, sexuality, etc.** And while I can respect that, I'm not sure it was able to execute it well. The writing had some awkward moments. And I really think Leila's rogue editor would have a field day.

Word selection. There were certain words/phrases that were overused. Not just a little bit. A lot. Now this doesn't make the writing necessarily inauthentic--after all, people (including teens) do have a tendency to do this. ("Like." "Totally." "Anyway." "You know." "So" etc) But it makes for a distracting read in this instance. Mal. Malness. Deeply.

"mal proceedings" (3)
"malness of his existence" (5)
"deeply non-dumb" (7)
"mal universe of yoga" (7)
"deeply flattering" (10)
"deeply cool" (13)
"deeply over it" (18)
"deeply fake" (20)
"deeply challenging" (46)
"deeply, deeply." (47)
"Oh mal" (56)
"deeply boring" (80)
"deeply not homophobic" (113)
"deeply did" (113)
"deeply normal" (124)
"new depth of malness" (128)
"deeply cool" (129)
"deeply pull it off" (130)
"deeply French" (131)
"deeply sue you" (131)
"deeply suck" (132)
"Oh mal" (143)
"mal of all mals" (143)
"Oh mal" (158)
"mal thing" (158)
"deeply sucks" (183)
"its malness" (183)
"feel mal or anything" (197)
"Oh mal" (244)

And those were just the ones I caught with casual reading. And while part of me feels that it is petty to be distracted by sloppy writing. The rest of me feels it is a legitimate complaint. After all, I've read hundreds of books, and I can't recall any with a similar issue.

All that being said, I think the story itself is interesting. And if you can look past the malness of the writing, you may find it deeply entertaining. Who knows? Reading is subjective--deeply subjective even--and most readers may be able to really enjoy this one.

*Yes, the book really has it in italics. The sad thing is that on the very next page it becomes his "quivering thing."
**Spoiler--Don't read this unless you're okay with spoilers--Tommy is bisexual. And as Jack/Jill become blended, there is a bit of a triangle between Tommy, Ramie, and Jack/Jill.


© Becky Laney of Becky's Book Reviews

[Vitani Days · Rating 4 out of 5]

Un libro davvero godibilissimo questo di Lauren McLaughlin.
Tralasciando la traduzione italiana del titolo, che tra parentesi non ha senso, si tratta di una lettura scorrevole e, soprattutto, che non si prende troppo sul serio. In questo modo riesce a trattare un tema spinoso - quello dell'identità di genere - in modo ironico e intelligente.
Jill, per quattro giorni al mese, si trasforma letteralmente nel suo alter ego maschile Jack. Le trasformazioni sono iniziate durante l'adolescenza, precisamente quando i genitori di Jill sono venuti a sapere dell'esistenza di questo lato maschile, che tentano in ogni modo di sopprimere. Il guaio inizia quando Jack, sempre vissuto attraverso i ricordi di Jill, si innamora della migliore amica di lei, Ramie.
Al di là della dimensione "metaforica" della trasformazione, si tratta di una bella storia di auto-accettazione.
A causa dell'ossessione di sua madre, che l'ha costretta a rinchiudere Jack in un angolo lontano della sua mente, Jill è arrivata al punto di considerarlo un nemico piuttosto che una parte di se stessa. Quando la situazione sembrerà giunta al punto di rottura, con Jack letteralmente e disumanamente carcerato in camera propria, sarà però un insospettato aiuto esterno a permettere a Jack di manifestarsi definitivamente... e molto conterà anche l'aiuto degli amori della vita di Jack e Jill, Ramie e Tommy. Entrambi ambigui, lei femminile ma dal temperamento mascolino che intuisce l'identità di Jack e Jill, lui apertamente bisessuale, sono gli amici che meglio di tutti possono accettare un ermafrodita ciclico.
Jack e Jill si fanno dunque strada fra una madre che vuol controllare tutto e non accetta la diversità della figlia, in una società che non accetterebbe mai qualcosa di insolito, e per finire nei loro stessi sentimenti. Perde qualcosa purtroppo proprio nella pagina finale, non a caso c'è il seguito.
Si tratta in sostanza di una lettura leggera e divertente, "statunitense" fra prom e cittadine alla periferia di Boston, che non manca di far riflettere tra le righe e riesce a strappare una grassa risata ogni tanto. Non stucchevole, non scontata, non buonista. Adattissima per adolescenti e non soltanto.

[Adrian (Changeling Reader) · Rating 1 out of 5]

Worst. Read. Of. The. Year.
I'm maybe going to be talking about this enough in a video or somewhere else, and I don't want to go on so much here. Instead, here's some fun numbers:

--62 times "mal" or "deeply" were terribly used as made-up slang (I have not counted how many times the meaning seemed to shift, didn't make sense, was too much, or was unnecessary).
--60 "ew"s, "yuck"s, "gross"es, "ugh"s, or other ways I noted my disgust and distaste for stuff in my annotating the book.
--9 times Jack (or the author) interrupts what's happening to grossly, and unnecessarily, repeat (or remind) in different ways to the reader things like, "Did I tell you I had sex with this girl?/I deflowered her?" or "There was oral sex. Did I tell you that yet?"
--5 repetitions of actions or writing errors that I noticed without purposefully looking for them or keeping track.
--4 nights before a girl let an utter creep she never knew before through her window with 1 more 2 months later for intercourse.
--2 parents the book tells the reader are "psychologically complex" that are actually cardboard cutouts of sketchy (or sometimes even bad) parents that are also talked about in poor taste at times.
--1 person who cycles between being a boy and girl, both being utterly flat, sexist depictions of teen guys and gals.
--1 interesting premise in a bad book with a sequel I'm only vaguely curious about to see how the author may (or may not) recover from this.
--0.75 stars currently on Storygraph, but 1 here
--and countless other problems with ableist moments, homo- and biphobia, bothersome 4th wall breaks, tone issues (like near-body horror to "oh no! prom is 126 days away, and this nerd asked me out to it"??), weird word choices, lack of interesting exploration of the premise, questions of content appropriateness for a YA book (published by Random House Children's Books), and more!

That's all for now.

[Corinne GRONDIN · Rating 3 out of 5]

Oui, c’est un roman ado… à partir de 13 ans. Ca vous rassurerait si je vous disais que je l’ai eu en mode 2 livres acheté un livre acheté ? Dans tous les cas, il traînait dans ma bibliothèque, il n’était pas bien épais et puis zut… j’assume, il faut lire de tout. Et… j’ai été plutôt surprise, même à continuer la lecture en dehors de « mes moments de prédilections ».

J’avoue, je ne le mettrais pas dans la main d’une ado de 13 ans vu que les « monologues » sur le sexe sont parfois un peu crues. Mais l’idée de départ est originale : se réveiller une fois par mois dans la peau d’un garçon, c’est pas banal.

Même si je pense que l’idée n’a pas été forcément bien exploitée, le livre se lit facilement et je me suis beaucoup plus attachée à Jack qu’à Jill que je trouve égoïste mais personnellement je l’excuse, ce n’est pas facile ce qu’elle en dure. Je la trouve aussi très ado de 13 ans pour une fille censée avoir 17 ans.

Je pense que l’auteur aurait pu plus développer le côté recherche d’identité et d’orientation sexuelle de l’héroïne. Elle aurait aussi pu exploiter un peu plus le personnage de Jill/Jack qui reste très féminin/masculin voire un peu trop dans le cliché quand il s’agit des préférences sexuelles.