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Dearest
He was a taxi driver with very definite ideas about women. The trouble was that no woman, no matter how much he might love her, could ever live up to his expectations.Then he met Jacqui. She was a beauty. Really gorgeous. And after she began to carry his unborn child and he gave her a ring in the prospect of marriage, he knew he had to take certain steps to preserve her and their relationship permanently.
- GenresHorror
192 pages, Hardcover
First published January 1, 1984
472 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 18 of 18 reviews
February 16, 2022
An unexpected treat! Told first-person by a regular yet unnamed British bloke who works as a taxi driver, Dearest doesn't feature an unreliable narrator so much as one so coolly rational in his beliefs that he is delusional, utterly insane. He dictates his thoughts and musings on women and sex and love and family in such obsessive detail, with such working-class “common” sense, you start to think maybe he's right about it all (!!!). But what he's really doing is laying bare the worst of the male psyche.
“The problem is, no man can ever convince himself that a really beautiful girl could be a tart. A man always thinks a woman who looks like an angel must have the nature of an angel.... I should have paid attention to all the things wrong with Jacqui...”
The first chapter is long, and might test the patience of readers who have little stomach for listening to the aggrieved rants of long-suffering men with women trouble; this part is dense with the suffocating vibe that overheated first-person narration often has. It's all about them, clueless dudes unloading their deepest thoughts and passing observations onto you, the unwilling victim. But stick with him, because Dearest gets dark and twisted and gross (and much of it drily ironic as well).
“It's pretty difficult just to stick a knife in a human being and cut them, even if they've been dead for months. You feel it might hurt them...”
“The problem is, no man can ever convince himself that a really beautiful girl could be a tart. A man always thinks a woman who looks like an angel must have the nature of an angel.... I should have paid attention to all the things wrong with Jacqui...”
The first chapter is long, and might test the patience of readers who have little stomach for listening to the aggrieved rants of long-suffering men with women trouble; this part is dense with the suffocating vibe that overheated first-person narration often has. It's all about them, clueless dudes unloading their deepest thoughts and passing observations onto you, the unwilling victim. But stick with him, because Dearest gets dark and twisted and gross (and much of it drily ironic as well).
“It's pretty difficult just to stick a knife in a human being and cut them, even if they've been dead for months. You feel it might hurt them...”
September 4, 2020
bone-chilling. told from the first person perspective of an unnamed cab driver with “definite ideas” about women (and sex, and religion, and sociology, and . . .), dearest is the brutal and unflinching deep-dive into the psyche of a character who isn’t ever meant to be likable, though the reader might find him frighteningly sympathetic, at times. therein lies the true horror of this one.
published in the early ‘80s, this book is certainly dated—though not in a bad way, it’s just sort of a relic of its era—but because it was published way back when it goes for the jugular in a way most modern horror just doesn’t. the final 70 pages or so turned my stomach countless times, and the implications in the final chapters are as chilling as anything i’ve read in horror fiction.
somehow this book has fallen into utter obscurity, but used copies can be found for cheap. this is especially good for fans of body horror and/or sometimes-unreliable narrators.
”it was pretty difficult just to stick a knife in a human being and cut them, even if they’ve been dead for months. you feel it might hurt them. . .”
published in the early ‘80s, this book is certainly dated—though not in a bad way, it’s just sort of a relic of its era—but because it was published way back when it goes for the jugular in a way most modern horror just doesn’t. the final 70 pages or so turned my stomach countless times, and the implications in the final chapters are as chilling as anything i’ve read in horror fiction.
somehow this book has fallen into utter obscurity, but used copies can be found for cheap. this is especially good for fans of body horror and/or sometimes-unreliable narrators.
”it was pretty difficult just to stick a knife in a human being and cut them, even if they’ve been dead for months. you feel it might hurt them. . .”
June 21, 2023
3.5 stars
May 11, 2025
You should always trust your first instincts when you meet someone for the first time. He didn't have a particular type of lady. He met many as a taxi driver. Robert DeNiro calling, help. He doesn't like women with perfect nails. Too much time on these, not enough on domestic chores. He met Jacqui, she was gorgeous. He was falling hard, doing all the things he said he wouldn't do. He is buying a ring. She was having his baby. She was sleeping with other men and telling him. He should of run. Run.Run.Run. I feel for the taxi driver. But love is deaf and dumb and retarded. He starts to fall apart, his once lovely house is in disarray. His girlfriend really is a massive piece of shit. Doesn't excuse what he is thinking but.... he wakes up next to her and he can't remember. He strangled her. Now she is living in his freezer. He considers burning her, dumping her in the ocean or burying her. What about a secret room in his house made-like an Egyptian tomb and his girl embalmed, wrapped like a mummy. He pulls out the organs, hooks the brain out of the nostril, removes his 5 month old unborn son, perfectly formed and the size of his hand. He is now at PEACE.
February 26, 2016
He is a man with some fairly definitive ideas about women. The only problem is that the taxi driver's ideas about the perfect woman are entirely too unrealistic. You see, his main trouble is that no woman - no matter how much he might love her - could ever live up to such lofty expectations.
Deep down, the cab driver understands that some people may claim that he has some unreasonably high standards. And yes, he might possibly even agree with those people - on some level. But he also realizes that he will never lower his expectations just to suit another person's opinion of him. After all, it's only a matter of time until he finds the right woman; he's sure of it.
Then he met Jacqui. She was a truly beautiful woman. Positively drop-dead gorgeous, actually. He could really see himself spending the rest of his life with such a beauty.
And after she began carrying his unborn child, he gave her a ring in contemplation of their marriage. He knew he had to take such steps to ensure that his love was preserved and that their relationship status became permanent. After all, marriage was meant to be 'until death do us part' and he took such a vow to heart.
I actually thought that this story was told from a rather unique perspective, and I don't believe that I have read anything else quite like it before. The character of the taxi driver wasn't ever meant to be a sympathetic character - or even particularly likeable - so using him as a narrator for this story was something that I found seriously disturbing. This perspective was definitely warped, but was also chillingly effective - at least in my opinion. I give this book an A!
This was the debut novel from a new author for me. While this book was published in the early 1980s - and the horror was definitely dated because of it - I still thoroughly enjoyed reading the book. Actually, I have always enjoyed reading older horror novels. As a matter of fact, I generally think of horror novels published before 1960 as 'Classic Horror', and horror novels published after 1990 as 'Modern Horror'.
Deep down, the cab driver understands that some people may claim that he has some unreasonably high standards. And yes, he might possibly even agree with those people - on some level. But he also realizes that he will never lower his expectations just to suit another person's opinion of him. After all, it's only a matter of time until he finds the right woman; he's sure of it.
Then he met Jacqui. She was a truly beautiful woman. Positively drop-dead gorgeous, actually. He could really see himself spending the rest of his life with such a beauty.
And after she began carrying his unborn child, he gave her a ring in contemplation of their marriage. He knew he had to take such steps to ensure that his love was preserved and that their relationship status became permanent. After all, marriage was meant to be 'until death do us part' and he took such a vow to heart.
I actually thought that this story was told from a rather unique perspective, and I don't believe that I have read anything else quite like it before. The character of the taxi driver wasn't ever meant to be a sympathetic character - or even particularly likeable - so using him as a narrator for this story was something that I found seriously disturbing. This perspective was definitely warped, but was also chillingly effective - at least in my opinion. I give this book an A!
This was the debut novel from a new author for me. While this book was published in the early 1980s - and the horror was definitely dated because of it - I still thoroughly enjoyed reading the book. Actually, I have always enjoyed reading older horror novels. As a matter of fact, I generally think of horror novels published before 1960 as 'Classic Horror', and horror novels published after 1990 as 'Modern Horror'.
August 4, 2022
Much like the Michael Caine movie Alfie. This started off as a very dark and ribald comedy. Then turned into something quite different the writing really flowed and I really enjoyed this bizarre tale. A definite classic and I am looking forward to the authors other works.
March 8, 2023
Am I wrong for finding this hilarious?
It's dark, sure. But more so than that, it's an exaggeration of working-class common sense which I initially thought would be difficult for the author to maintain. But he did maintain it. And I'm all the more grateful for it.
It's dark, sure. But more so than that, it's an exaggeration of working-class common sense which I initially thought would be difficult for the author to maintain. But he did maintain it. And I'm all the more grateful for it.
January 31, 2016
Novel about a man trying hard to find a woman he can really live with, but oy, the luck he has!
March 29, 2020
A warped, twisted first-person horror novel. It's great, if you find a copy, read it.
January 24, 2023
Interesting enough to keep reading, but not at all scary. Or maybe I'm just desensitized after reading all that other shit I read.
March 7, 2025
Amusing in a sense that the MC is ranting the entire time about the war between the sexes and about society’s dumbest people. Alternates with him baring his soul and murdering his gf. The last third we are treated to his thoughts on the afterlife according to ancient Egyptian culture. It was a strange book for sure.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
October 28, 2021
A nasty work of crime fiction that turns into a horror novel, this is an intense first-person visit into the mindset of a misogynistic murderer.
Loughran appears to have churned out a handful of "sick" books that blur the boundaries between "crime fiction" and "horror fiction." This is his most well-known and, I assume, his most extreme. Our narrator is a taxi driver who lives in a big old house; as we learn, he has a lot of "old fashioned" ideas about the way the world works (and should work). The narrator meets and falls in love with a younger, more fashionable woman who (if we trust this awful narrator) cheats on him relentlessly. Rather than leaving her, he chooses to strangle her, mummify her body, and hide it in his walls.
Loughran gets credit for "going there" and then some. Recommended if you are not squeamish.
Loughran appears to have churned out a handful of "sick" books that blur the boundaries between "crime fiction" and "horror fiction." This is his most well-known and, I assume, his most extreme. Our narrator is a taxi driver who lives in a big old house; as we learn, he has a lot of "old fashioned" ideas about the way the world works (and should work). The narrator meets and falls in love with a younger, more fashionable woman who (if we trust this awful narrator) cheats on him relentlessly. Rather than leaving her, he chooses to strangle her, mummify her body, and hide it in his walls.
Loughran gets credit for "going there" and then some. Recommended if you are not squeamish.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
December 31, 2013
Rating: 2 of 5
Long-winded and unsatisfying. The narrator was every bit as narcissistic, crazy and unlikable as the women he hates. Around page 40 I wanted to quit, yet I pushed on. Now I wish I had abandoned this one.
Long-winded and unsatisfying. The narrator was every bit as narcissistic, crazy and unlikable as the women he hates. Around page 40 I wanted to quit, yet I pushed on. Now I wish I had abandoned this one.
July 25, 2024
[Spoiler free]
“Dearest,” simply renamed “Jacqui” in my language, was recommended to me by a bookshop seller as I was looking for something original and quite dark. I bought it, I started it. So buckle up, cause this review will be as contradictory as this book is.
First of all, this is classified as horror. I do not agree. In my opinion, this is a hundred percent a drama with some horrific elements. The majority of the book sends off very melancholic vibes, and the main character strikes you as incredibly miserable. So if you’re expected to be scared by gory scenes, search elsewhere.
I was expecting a fast-paced, kind of unhinged thriller with gore elements, and it took me a while to overcome my disappointment when I realized that this book actually is a constant ramble about women and society as a whole. The last 50 pages hold some gruesome details lost in between details upon details about Egyptian religion, and if you are sensitive to corpse disposal, maybe don’t pick up this book because it was sort of disgusting.
At the end of the day, this book is much more of a sociological and philosophical thesis by a misogynist yet pretty respectful man. His character was incredibly confusing, because at first I found him fascinating, then he revolted me, then I felt sincere sympathy for him. Being in his head truly was fascinating and I highly recommend this very bizarre experiment at one condition:
Put your own beliefs aside. If you are someone who is easily triggered by either inappropriate scenes/comments or not so acceptable thinking about women, don’t even try picking this book up. If you are able to step out of your own shoes and just study the world being completely neutral, you might be as fascinated as I was with this book.
With that being said, I did struggle a bit during the mid section of this book -it became my post nap read. It is not that it is boring, it is just that the tone is always the same, it is really introspective and there is little to no action. This book solely relies on thinking and a very sad and sometimes shocking atmosphere, and this did not help me stay focused for a long period of time. I will admit it, it was a little too dull at times.
I would recommend this book to those who like very experimental, philosophical writing with a hint of horror. If you like a typical style of writing, you will despise this. If, however, you are into original concepts, you might like this.
3,5 stars rounded up to 3.
“Dearest,” simply renamed “Jacqui” in my language, was recommended to me by a bookshop seller as I was looking for something original and quite dark. I bought it, I started it. So buckle up, cause this review will be as contradictory as this book is.
First of all, this is classified as horror. I do not agree. In my opinion, this is a hundred percent a drama with some horrific elements. The majority of the book sends off very melancholic vibes, and the main character strikes you as incredibly miserable. So if you’re expected to be scared by gory scenes, search elsewhere.
I was expecting a fast-paced, kind of unhinged thriller with gore elements, and it took me a while to overcome my disappointment when I realized that this book actually is a constant ramble about women and society as a whole. The last 50 pages hold some gruesome details lost in between details upon details about Egyptian religion, and if you are sensitive to corpse disposal, maybe don’t pick up this book because it was sort of disgusting.
At the end of the day, this book is much more of a sociological and philosophical thesis by a misogynist yet pretty respectful man. His character was incredibly confusing, because at first I found him fascinating, then he revolted me, then I felt sincere sympathy for him. Being in his head truly was fascinating and I highly recommend this very bizarre experiment at one condition:
Put your own beliefs aside. If you are someone who is easily triggered by either inappropriate scenes/comments or not so acceptable thinking about women, don’t even try picking this book up. If you are able to step out of your own shoes and just study the world being completely neutral, you might be as fascinated as I was with this book.
With that being said, I did struggle a bit during the mid section of this book -it became my post nap read. It is not that it is boring, it is just that the tone is always the same, it is really introspective and there is little to no action. This book solely relies on thinking and a very sad and sometimes shocking atmosphere, and this did not help me stay focused for a long period of time. I will admit it, it was a little too dull at times.
I would recommend this book to those who like very experimental, philosophical writing with a hint of horror. If you like a typical style of writing, you will despise this. If, however, you are into original concepts, you might like this.
3,5 stars rounded up to 3.
August 31, 2023
This book was so disappointing. I was excited when I found this one, the plot sounded good and all the hook lines on the cover pulled me in. But unfortunately I found myself drowning in a never ending story full of random tangents and nonsense. It’s meant to read as if the main character is telling you about what happened in his EXTREMELY dysfunctional relationship, but he’s a terrible storyteller. There was so much filler information that it made it hard to follow the actual plot and most of what he had to say was so redundant. All of this built to the relationship’s impending, very semi-climactic, end.
I will definitely not be picking this book up again except to look at the cover art
I will definitely not be picking this book up again except to look at the cover art
December 10, 2023
A strange and delightfully twisted read from a first person perspective.
June 15, 2013
This novel was definitely not what I expected - read my full review at http://www.dreamworldbooks.com/2013/0....
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