To Mothers: Carrying the Torch of Faith and Family

by Jeffrey R. Holland, Patricia T. Holland

"In this great, eternal work, mothers have carried the torch of faith and family from the beginning. The need for that torch to burn brightly and dispel darkness has never been greater," writes Elder Jeffrey R. Holland of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles. In this thoughtful book for mothers, Elder and Sister Holland reflect on the crucial role of motherhood in fulfilling the purposes of eternity, as well as the challenges that all mothers experience. Filled with hope and encouragement, their message will resonate with mothers, grandmothers, aunts, sisters, and teachers. Concludes Elder Holland, "To all mothers in every circumstance, including those who struggle, I say, 'God bless you. You are doing better than you think you are.'"

Genres: Lds, Nonfiction, Religion, Parenting, Inspirational, Church, Self Help

96 pages, Kindle Edition

Published April 1, 2016

About the author

Elder Jeffrey R. Holland was ordained a member of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints on 23 June 1994. At the time of this call, Elder Holland was serving as a member of the First Quorum of the Seventy, to which he had been called on 1 April 1989. A native of St. George, Utah, he has spent most of his professional life in Church education. He received his bachelor and master degrees from Brigham Young University and a master degree and Ph.D. from Yale University.
From 1980 until his call as a General Authority in 1989, Elder Holland served as president of Brigham Young University. He is a former Church commissioner of education and dean of the College of Religious Education at BYU.
Elder Holland is the author of several books, one of which he co-authored with his wife, Patricia. They were married in 1963 and are the parents of three children and the grandparents of 12 grandchildren.

Reviews

[Jenny · Rating 5 out of 5]

Inspiring. Encouraging. I have many ways to improve as a mother, but I am thankful I have the privilege of having that role. The first chapter is Elder Holland's talk from October 2015 Conference, "Behold Thy Mother." The second chapter is written by Patricia Holland about making priorities, including taking care of ourselves. The third chapter is written collaboratively between Elder and Sister Holland and talks about the role of mothers today. The final chapter is Elder Holland speaking about a time he felt he failed his son and the lesson he learned from that experience.

A few quotes I love: "We are the people in the eternal scheme of things who must prepare the Church of the Lamb for the arrival of the Lamb....What a tremendous responsibility! ...we have to look like His Church members would look and act like His Church members would act. This will require all of us to move closer and closer to the heart of the gospel, to true principles of discipleship and faith, qualities of the heart and spirit. In short, it means we have to live and be, to actually demonstrate, what it is we are always so ask to say we 'know' in our testimony meetings."
That IS quite a responsibility! (51-52)

In a related quote, Sister Holland quotes D&C 52:11 which says, "For thus saith The Lord, I will cut my work short in righteousness." She says one possible interpretation of this verse is that the work can/will be cut short if there is righteousness among Church members. "Maybe it is a little like the change that comes when hot water turns to steam. We can sort of move along as reasonably warm-water people, but until we push it to that magic 100 degrees centigrade we don't get the miracle of change that a burst of steam offers....if a little more righteousness can cut these last days a little shorter and bring the Savior's return a little sooner, I am all for it!" (Pg 58)

Pat Holland talks about the need to stop comparing ourselves with others and ridding ourselves of pride, envy and vanity. She writes, "If we would not 'lift' ourselves up withe these cursed temptations of envy and pride, God would gladly step in and do the "lifting" for us! Only He can lift us up where He wants us and where we really want to be. " (page 69)

"On the outside we may seem to be 'little' people, little everyday souls with everyday problems, but we are the everyday instruments that God has always used to do His work and perform His miracles..." (Pg. 64-65)

"We all know parenthood is not an easy assignment, but it ranks among the most imperative assignments ever given, in time or eternity. We must not pull away from our children. We must keep trying, keep reaching, keep praying, keep listening. We must keep them 'within the clasp of [our] arms.' That is what mothers and fathers are for." (Page 90)

[Eliza Breidenbaugh · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this, so refreshing and grounding every time I picked it up. Picking it up as a “parenting book” really helped me realize what the most important things are. Rather than feeling a long to do list of things I could be doing better in parenting I felt grateful for the divine role of a mother and the opportunity I have to share my love. It brought me a lot of peace and I’d definitely recommend it!

[Hilary · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great reminders for the exhausted mother.

[Morgan Copeland · Rating 5 out of 5]

I’ve read this book a few times over the last 5 years. The first time I read it, I was pregnant. This book has given me so many lessons and encouragement that I’ve needed at each stage in parenting. It is a quick read. Well worth it. I’ll read it again in a year or so because it’s just that good and applies to our different situations.

[Briana · Rating 5 out of 5]

“If the work of true righteousness yet before us seems monumental, remember that we have monumental help.”

“Take hope. Look up. Be good to yourself, because your Heavenly Father surely wants to be good to you. Let’s let the Spirit envelop us, make us calm, and heal our souls.”

Two of my favorite quotes from Sister Holland that truly resonated with me as a new mother. The insights and motivation she offers are invaluable, reminding us to love our children above all else and emphasizing that patience is one of the greatest virtues we can offer to all of God's children.

[Rani · Rating 5 out of 5]

I absolutely love this book. It will be one I pick up and read again frequently.

[Anna · Rating 5 out of 5]

This short book has a few chapters that seem to be adapted from talks given to mothers to encourage, inspire, and helped me during a hard week. I love how relatable both Elder and Sister Holland are.

[Melissa Jordan · Rating 5 out of 5]

R: very quick and easy to read. Leaves you uplifted.

[Julie Carpenter · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this short book geared towards mothers. Lots of wonderful advice and encouragement to mothers and fathers. I loved the stories shared by both Pat and Jeffrey. They are great examples of good parents, even with the mistakes or shortcomings that happened in their lives they used those moments to learn and improve.

Pat told about her great grandmother coming to live in a small town in Utah called Enterprise. It's dry and a harsh climate with lots of wind. I grew up not far from there close by St. George and it is not lush and green. Her great grandmother came from beautiful green Switzerland. She brought with her a couple starts for trees in hopes they would grow tall and beautiful. She planted them near her church building and everyday would carry buckets of water quite a ways to feed these trees. She was tiny and frail and this was not an easy task for her. A man she knew asked her why she would do so knowing that the trees would never thrive except with lots of hard work and daily watering and have harsh winds beating on them daily. Her great grandmother told the man that she persisted because of her daughter and her granddaughter who helped her water every day. That it may not benefit herself but it would mean her posterity and many others would enjoy the shade and beauty of the trees for years to come through her time and sacrifice.

Pat said that she has many wonderful memories under those trees as do her children and grandchildren all because of the path laid by her great grandmother. That is the same for us today in teaching our children and families. The time we take and invest isn't always easy or perfect but it is crucial and will be what our children base their teachings and life on and will be passed on generation to generation. Just like special traditions are carried on so are our teachings and guidance.

I loved the chapter where Jeffrey and Pat teach back and forth. I loved the chapters of their individual teachings. I love the candid teaching style and feeling that they are right next to you talking and sharing with you personally. I loved it all!

It's not easy being a parent. It's a struggle. Many of the hardest moments in life come from being a parent. Many of the greatest joys and blessings in life come from being a parent. I love my children with all my heart and many times fall short of being the perfect and best mother ever and yet as I do my best (some days my best is better than other days) and I acknowledge my mistakes and acknowledge the accomplishments of my children we experience some of the sweetest moments. It's not always wonderful but as time goes by we look back at the harder moments and can see the strength given to us and the growth and learning that eventually took place.

One of the greatest things mentioned in the book for us to remember is one of the final teachings the Savior taught his disciples. After all the teachings he summed them up in one final lesson when he said "A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another. By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another" (John 13: 34-35).

As we strive to live our lives emulating the Savior's love, especially within our families, we will have peace and greater rewards as Mothers and Fathers.

I loved the final comment from Elder Holland in the chapter where he takes turns with his wife. He said "may I conclude with a blessing upon you as you press forward in your most important work of being a mother. I bless you in "such a time as this" that you will grow more grateful, more peaceful, more certain of God's love, and more secure in your standing before Him than ever before. I bless you that with His unfailing companionship you will find your way through your most difficult days and receive answers to your earnest prayers... I bless you to know that God loves and honors the earnest pleadings you make and that he is pleased to rush to your aid, to assist in the problem at hand, and to heal not only your heart but the hearts of those about whom you worry and for whom you pray and sometimes weep. I bless you to know that there are good days ahead, always, the darkest clouds always part and the most fearful days always flee before the beneficent face of the Father, The redeeming grace of the Son, and the sweet influence of the Holy Ghost in our lives. In our time and in such a gospel as Heaven has bestowed upon us, we have every reason to be happy and every cause to be filled with divine anticipation. May you trust forever in the God who gave you life and in His Beloved Son, whose church this is and who paid the ultimate price to redeem your life and restore your soul."

I love that! No matter what happens or comes at us there is hope for what will come through Christ.

Happy Reading!!!

[Jodi Escalante · Rating 3 out of 5]

Jeffrey R. Holland always seems so sincere. I always love reading/hearing his thoughts. This compilation of talks was not as rich in gems as I was expecting though.

[Lily · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very comforting & uplifting

[Glasdow Teacosy · Rating 4 out of 5]

A collection of talks that become more powerful the deeper into the book you read.

I picked this book up a week ago because I was in the mood for something spiritual relating to Mother’s Day. I’m glad that I did. Some of these points were exactly what I needed to hear.

The book is broken up into four parts. It begins with a preface by Brother Holland, followed by a talk by Sister Holland, then a talk they both gave in a Tag Team fashion, and then it ends with a talk by Brother Holland.

Sister Holland’s first talk (Motherhood: Finding Priority, Feeling Peace) didn’t connect with me. That is likely because I am not a mother who juggles work and church callings. I am a single dad who has juggled raising children with serving church callings, but I felt at times what she said sounded like excuses for justifying time spent away from family. However, I realize that this is something that many women in our church struggle with because motherhood and serving the church are so time consuming. Something has to give, and sometimes it’s the family.

The quote that stood out most for me in this talk was “Before I go to the temple, I retreat to a private room in my home, one where, from frequent prayer, I feel I have come closest to my Father in Heaven.“ if I had a room that could function as her private room does, it would have to be my bedroom, yet I have never thought to prepare in prayer before heading to the temple. I always save my praying for when I’m *in* the temple. This is something that I want to reconsider in the future.

The second talk, A Time for Mothers, was filled with memorable quotes. I enjoyed how they both built off of each other’s comments as they discussed the topic of motherhood. I felt this was a stronger talk, with more to sup upon than the previous one.

My favorite quote from Brother Holland here was, “This is the power of the Atonement to which we pay much too little attention—not only did Christ save us from our sins but He saved us from ourselves, our horrible warped opinions and negative views of ourselves.“ It never occurred to me to apply the Atonement to my poor self-esteem. This concept is the one I will be pondering long after Mother’s Day.

When sister Holland was discussing the repentance process from overcoming our failures as mothers/parents, she said something that I needed to hear. “We should not be discouraged if the challenge returns tomorrow just when we thought we gave it such a good effort today. I say this out of the honesty, and experience, of my own heart. I struggle with these issues just as you do, and just as everyone does. So don’t give up hope—and don’t think you are the only one who feels these things or struggles with these Temptations. We all do, but every effort is a godly one, and every victory is counted for our good.“

In the final talk, Within the Clasp of Your Arms, there were many powerful things that Brother Holland said, but two stood out as memorable to me because they touched upon my fears.

This one may be too late for me: “It is increasing clear that we must teach the gospel to our families personally, live those teachings in our homes, or run the risk of discovering too late that a Primary teacher or priesthood advisor or seminary instructor could not do for our children but we would not do for them.“ I don’t find this comment comforting in the slightest. However, it does highlight a failure of mine when raising my children. I leaned on church leaders to pick up the spiritual slack that I had in my own life. That was a failure on my part that I deeply regret.

However, he followed up such comments with admonitions of hope. “Above all, never pull away from each other.“ It is tempting to withdraw myself from my children’s lives because I think that I’ve done my damage (LOL) and they would be happier if I had less to do with them, but this is a lie. I’m glad I don’t listen to that lie often, but it percolates in the background, popping up from time to time.

Overall, this was an excellent collection of sermons that I gained quite a bit from. I am glad that I took time to read it.

[Kim · Rating 4 out of 5]

"Essential to every child's mental health is the feeling, 'I am valuable.' And where we choose to spend our time reveals to our children exactly how valuable they are. In this way, children provide parents their greatest spiritual development. Our children are our practice in being eternal parents."

"A recent study conducted by the Church has forcefully confirmed statistically what we have been told again and again. That is, if loving, inspired instruction and example are not provided at home, then our related efforts for success in and around Church programs are severely limited. It is increasingly clear that we must teach the gospel to our families personally, live those teachings in our homes, or run the risk of discovering too late that a Primary teacher or priesthood adviser or seminary instructor could not do for our children what we would not do for them."

"If you will keep your (children) close to your heart, within the clasp of your arms: if you will make them to feel that you love them, ...and keep them near to you, they will not go very far from you, and they will not commit any very great sin. But it is when you turn them out of the home, turn them out of your affection....that (is what) drives them from you...If you wish your children to be taught principles of the gospel, if you wish them to love the truth and understand it, if you wish them to be obedient to and united with you, love them and prove to them that you do love them by your every word and act to(ward) them." ~President Joseph F. Smith

[MOLLY · Rating 4 out of 5]

There are several stories in this book that were amazing. I found pages 74 and 75 very moving. I felt like they were words specifically for me.

Favorite Quotes:
"..no love in mortality comes closer to approximating the pure love of Jesus Christ than the selfless love a devoted mother has for her child."

"How is it that a human being can love a child so deeply that you willingly give up a major portion of your freedom for it? How can mortal love be so strong that you voluntarily subject yourself to responsibility, vulnerability, anxiety, and heartache and just keep coming back for more of the same? What kind of mortal love can make you feel, once you have a child, that your life is never, ever your own again? Maternal love has to be divine. There is no other explanation for it. What mothers do is an essential element of Christ's work. Knowing that should be enough to tell us the impact of such love will range between unbearable and transcendent, over and over again, until with the safety and salvation the very last child on earth, we can (then) say with Jesus, '[Father!] I have finished the work which thou gavest me to do"' (John 17:4)

"my personality was created to fit precisely the mission and talents He gave me".

"..children provide parents their greatest spiritual development".

"each of us will have peace only as we are filling the measure of our OWN creation".

[Tanya · Rating 4 out of 5]

This pretty little book was given to me for Mother's Day, and I just got around to reading it. Jeffrey and Patricia Holland are a couple whom I greatly admire, and I'm always interested to see what they have to say on a subject. I'll be honest and say this wasn't my favorite thing I've ever read by either of them; while there was a lot of wisdom, the material struck me as being gathered and re-packaged to make something that could be sold for Mother's Day, rather than being specifically written as a unified volume.

Still, it was uplifting and made me feel that I am enough as a mother, and that it's worth keeping on with the arduous journey. My favorite part was the story Pat Holland told of her grandmother, a Swiss emigrant to deserty Enterprise, Utah, who planted and daily watered trees outside her church building. When questioned about why she bothered with such slow-growing trees, she replied that she did the work so her children and grandchildren could enjoy the shade, which they later did. That's a great parable for motherhood, because raising children is definitely a long game!

[Erica Palmer · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was a great, short, sweet reminder that “you’re doing better than you think you are,” specifically targeted to young mothers. As a working mom aspiring to a career outside the home also I had a a hard time relating to some of what Sister Holland said about her experiences with motherhood, but she framed it in a way that was not condescending at all or acting like she was doing it the “right” way, and I really appreciated that. She talks about self care and personal identity (not just being a good “mom”) and says, “My greatest misery comes when I feel I have to fit what others are doing, or what I think others expect of me. I am most happy when I am comfortable being me and trying to do what my Father in Heaven and I expect me to do.” I loved the beautiful personal stories they shared, including Elder Holland’s about one of his not-so-finest parenting moments that made me feel a whole lot less bad about my worst moments. Very relatable, wise, and sweet words!

[Riley Lewis · Rating 4 out of 5]

This collection of talks from Elder and Sister Holland is a great reminder of the power of parenthood and value of the role of mother. Super quick read.

Elder Holland has a few classic stories he has retold over the years. In particular when he lost his temper with his 5 year old and sent him to bed without saying good night and he felt so bad he awoke in the night sobbing. We all can identify with Elder Holland.

Sister Holland shares a powerful story where her brother was backed over with a car but was unharmed because of a promised temple blessing to her family. She tells the sisters to cut themselves some slack because they hold themselves to an impossible standard but to use the patterns of the temple to set priory. Good reminders.

Because this is a collection the chapters don’t tie together perfectly but still a good read.

[Sara · Rating 5 out of 5]

I was given this book by my son, Loggins, for Mother's Day. It is excellent and I will read it again. It was uplifting, encouraging and very helpful. It encourages women to take care of themselves and to love themselves thus being able to value themselves. I needed this book and will continue to utilize it. They really understand women and speak to my heart.
I would encourage all to read it.
Carry plenty of tissues. I made the mistake of finishing it in a public place and spent a lot of time wiping up the tears.

[Megan · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a quick read with 4 different “talks” including one by Patricia Holland. I really like one message that Sister Holland shared on being your best self and not trying to be someone else. She said that the times that we try to be like another person can cause stress. I have wondered about this as I try to be the fun mom or a fun person. I have prayed to be different and this was an answer for me to strengthen my gifts and talents and stop trying to be someone else. I’m not the fun mom, but I am the right kind of mom for my kids.

[Vibeke Hiatt · Rating 5 out of 5]

Although they have very different approaches to how they present their words, I have always been able to relate to both Elder Holland and Sister Holland. This book is an inspirational—and sometimes cautionary—book that any parent can learn from. As a mother who often worries she isn't doing enough or too often makes mistakes, this book is a great reminder of how precious my children and I all are.

[Jonelle Tiffany Boulter · Rating 5 out of 5]

Such a wonderful dedication to mothers. To love themselves and cling to hope. To recognize our imperfections and not feel guilty.
I love that Pat Holland explained not to compare ourselves to others and not get caught up in the phoniness of what the world expects of us.

[Lisa Moncur · Rating 5 out of 5]

This gave me some much-needed perspective and encouragement. Elder Holland’s amazing ability to tell emotionally captivating stories really uplifted and bolstered me. I want to keep this book by my bed so I can pick it up often and be reminded what I’m trying to do as a mother.

[Cassandra H · Rating 5 out of 5]

Patricia Holland shares her experiences and her encouragement to mothers. Along with her husband, Jeffrey R. Holland, their words are uplifting and very applicable. This is a super short read but filled with so much goodness. I loved it.

[Sarah Grass · Rating 4 out of 5]

"I have found that I have untold abundant sources of energy to be myself. But the moment I indulge in imitation of my neighbor, I feel fractured and fatigued and find myself forever swimming upstream."

[Lauren Perotto · Rating 4 out of 5]

Every mom needs the encouragement in this book!

[Brooke Frazier · Rating 4 out of 5]

Short, sweet, feel-good, thought-provoking, peaceful. I enjoyed reading this book.

[Emily · Rating 4 out of 5]

A great book for mothers. It is written as separate essays or messages, so it is worth rereading a few times.

[Amanda Wolfley · Rating 5 out of 5]

I’d recommend this book to all mothers, especially new mothers, young mothers or mothers-to-be. Such inspiring and encouraging words.

[Paige Maddy · Rating 5 out of 5]

Every woman should read this! This lifted me up.

[Rachel · Rating 4 out of 5]

A sweet quick read about motherhood. Lots of good reminders to help us keep up the fight and remember what is most important in a world that would preach the complete opposite.