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What About Now

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Five years ago, everything went wrong. Braden Kirk and Rafe Jessen’s long-term relationship started unraveling. They stopped talking, fears mounted, then Braden walked in on Rafe and another man, completely misreading the situation. Without giving Rafe a chance to explain, Braden walked out. Out of their home, their relationship, and the game development company they started together in college.

After months of therapy to deal with the attempted rape Braden walked in on, Rafe begins to understand that his dominant tendencies in the bedroom aren’t a bad thing and that Braden’s submission is likely what scared his partner into silence. But Rafe isn’t ready to let go of the man he loves more than life itself. He arranges for himself and Braden to end up on the same charity cruise, knowing Braden won’t let his phobia—terror of vast, deep waters—rule him.

With a plan and twenty-eight days, Rafe is determined to get Braden back, make him see there’s nothing wrong with being submissive, and find a way to get Braden to stay with him when they get home to LA.

284 pages, Kindle Edition

First published May 9, 2016

13 people are currently reading
77 people want to read

About the author

Grace R. Duncan

34 books250 followers
Grace Duncan grew up with a wild imagination. She told stories from an early age - many of which got her into trouble. Eventually, she learned to channel that imagination into less troublesome areas, including fanfiction, which is what has led her to writing male/male erotica.

A gypsy in her own right, Grace has lived all over the United States. She has currently set up camp in East Texas with her husband and children - both the human and furry kind.

As one of those rare creatures who loves research, Grace can get lost for hours on the internet, reading up on any number of strange and different topics. She can also be found writing fanfiction, reading fantasy, crime, suspense, romance and other erotica or even dabbling in art.

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Profile Image for Debra ~~ seriously slacking on her reviews ~~.
2,235 reviews260 followers
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May 9, 2016
Review originally posted at Sinfully.

3.5 stars


This is a story about two men whose stubborn failure to communicate led to the end of their long term relationship, resulting in five years of separation even though they both still loved each other. Now, through a bit of well-intentioned meddling, Rafe and Braden have a chance to lay the past to rest and move on either with or without each other. Rafe hopes that when he leaves their month-long cruise, Braden will be his once again. He’s determined but Braden is stubborn so he’s sure the road won’t be an easy one.

The story is not burdened by much outside action, and the cruise setting makes it easy for the focus to be solely on Rafe and Braden’s past and present. I’m a big fan of second chance stories so this one initially grabbed me, but I was somewhat disappointed that the blurb reveals a big plot point thereby dissipating some of the tension and emotion that should have fueled the two men meeting again after so long. I assume the wording was placed in the blurb in lieu of a trigger warning elsewhere, but the book was clearly written with the intent of the information being revealed to the reader when Rafe finally reveals it to Braden. Despite my issues with the set-up, I liked Rafe from the start and wanted to see these two men find a way to at least mend some bridges.

Since Braden refused all attempts at contact from Rafe immediately following his leaving, Braden has no idea what really went on when he saw Rafe with another man. Braden admits that they had been having some problems relating to sex and that Braden’s shame, confusion, misguided commentary from a friend and his fear of discussing it with Rafe was a big part of their downward spiral. I had a hard time buying that Braden would walk away from not only Rafe, but the business they owned together with such finality, not allowing any communication whatsoever, but I was able to mostly put that aside to focus on the rebuilding of things. What bothered me more is wondering why Braden allowed one person’s comments to direct such a significant part of his future as opposed to giving the benefit of the doubt to a man who had been his best friend and then lover and business partner for years. That’s what made it harder for me to forgive Braden’s actions.

In the five years since Braden ran out on him Rafe (unlike Braden, who appears to have stagnated) has not only undergone therapy, but has educated himself about his dominant nature and the BDSM lifestyle by becoming a member of a club and training with a Dom. He has learned that it’s not a part of his nature that he can or would want to suppress. He has recognized that Braden does have a submissive nature and that although he seemed to enjoy some of the control Rafe exerted in bed, he sensed Braden’s fear and shame and he’s not sure if Braden will be able to accept that part of himself or be willing to have a D/s relationship. Rafe is also fairly certain that if Braden wants nothing to do with the lifestyle, that he likely will have to walk away. Once the men are back together, Rafe struggles with how to introduce the subject to Braden.

Braden’s immediate response to deal with things seems to be retreating or running away. His submissive nature is not only sexual, but extends to his everyday life, allowing others to push him into things and influence his decisions. That, combined with his fear of openly talking to Rafe seems to doom the relationship unless he makes some big changes. Just loving each other and wanting to be together isn’t going to be enough.

I loved Rafe. He is strong and calm and incredibly forgiving, with a love for Braden that is unwavering. He hasn’t spent the past five years hiding away, but has used them to better understand himself and what will be necessary to get back the man he has always loved. Braden was a tough sell for me though. Other than his general nature, I never truly understood why he was so afraid of talking to Rafe about that one aspect of their life. I’m also not sure that Braden really solved that issue though he is working on it.

I’ve enjoyed Grace Duncan’s writing in the past, especially her handling of BDSM themes. In fact Beautiful boy was a hot pick for me in November 2015. The scenes here were the strongest part of the story for me. Rafe is a good Dom knowing just what Braden needs, likes and dislikes. The scenes of tease and denial were hot and incredibly intimate, and despite his misgivings, Braden submits beautifully when not worrying about what other people would say or think.

This story is really all about Rafe and Braden learning how to redefine their relationship going forward and Braden learning how to communicate. I’ll admit that it was frustrating and a bit slow at times; stories where communication is a problem often are for me, but if you like a second chance story, light BDSM and don’t mind working through the issues I’ve mentioned this will probably work for you.

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Profile Image for ~✡~Dαni(ela) ♥ ♂♂ love & semi-colons~✡~.
3,581 reviews1,121 followers
April 9, 2016
I’ve really enjoyed Duncan's Forbes Mates series and had high hopes for this book, but I found it lackluster and entirely unrealistic.

Rafe and Braden meet in college and are best friends, lovers, and business partners for several years. Then they start drifting apart, and Braden leaves the relationship because he misconstrues a scene he walks in on.

The men have no contact for five years until they reconnect on a month-long Hawaiian cruise. Braden’s mom pushes Braden to take a vacation, and Rafe just happens to be there (we find out later he worked with Braden’s mom to plan the whole thing).

For more than a third of the book, we have no idea what happened in the past to cause the breakup. Within a few days, Braden and Rafe are kissing and throwing out I love you's, but they never once discuss their five-year separation or relationship.

They keep saying they need to talk but never do. One or the other always needs to think on something, yet they never arrive at any conclusions. They just hang in this weird limbo of indecision and denial.

Rafe is a closeted Dom, and he’s afraid he’s going to push Braden away with his dominance, except his idea of BDSM is rather convoluted. Rafe doesn’t feel or act dominant. In fact, he comes across as needy. And Braden is just whiney and confused.

I don’t understand how you can live together and own a business together, yet break up and not talk for FIVE YEARS. How is that possible? At the very least, there are financial considerations, like taxes, and logistical issues, like gathering your shit and moving out.

Rafe never stands up for himself, never tries to talk to Braden. You’re with someone for years, and the best you can do is send emails and then give up when you receive no response?

Even Rafe’s explanation of the Big Incident that precipitated the breakup had me rolling my eyes. I should have been sympathetic, but the whole thing felt so contrived.

Braden initially pulls away from Rafe because some guy named Paul tells him being submissive is bad. Never mind that the sex at the time is just one step up from vanilla. Nipple pinching, handcuff play, and being bossy do not equal BDSM.

How can a random guy's judgement matter more than a long-term, passionate, loving relationship? Hey, here's an idea: TALK TO YOUR PARTNER. Even Googling "my boyfriend wants to take charge in bed" is preferable to staying late at the office and doing NOTHING.

I didn't get this AT ALL. Why was Braden so concerned about Rafe being dominant in bed? Why was this some big, scary thing? And if their relationship was so awesome, why did they both feel inadequate? None of this made sense.

Once Rafe and Braden reconnect sexually in the present, the story picks up. The sex scenes are very hot, and there’s a HEA.

But I just didn’t believe that two men could not talk for five years and start declaring their love two days after meeting again.

Both MCs also do a 360 personality change in the last couple chapters. Braden, especially, goes from being uncomfortable that Rafe takes charge in bed to playing boy and floating in subspace faster than you can crack a whip.

Overall, the story was too long, unfocused, and meandering. Sadly, this one was a miss for me.
Profile Image for Ele.
1,319 reviews40 followers
May 5, 2016

Pay attention to the blurb. It does a good job summarizing the plot, and I'm not going to rehash.

I went into this book prepared to suspend my disbelief, because of this part of the blurb: "Braden walked in on Rafe and another man, completely misreading the situation. Without giving Rafe a chance to explain, Braden walks out." I just don't buy this kind of plotline, where someone walks away after a big misunderstanding and loses contact with their partner for ever. Rafe and Brendan were together for 5 years. They lived together, and they even co-owned a company. How is it possible to lose touch, just like that?

BUT I was willing to overlook it because I'm a sucker for second chance romance. After all, it's in the blurb. I also overlooked the fact that Braden ending up on that cruise was a result of his mother and Rafe's plotting. This kind of meddling from parents or friends, is always a no in my book, whatever the cause.

But no amount of suspending disbelief was enough to make me buy what followed:

Rafe and Braden meet again after five years of being apart. The logical thing would be to finally talk about what happened all these years ago. But no.

When they finally decide to sit down and talk about what broke them apart, it all happened too fast. One minute Braden was mad at Rafe, and then...
“I almost let you get raped. I… I don’t deserve you.”

I never understood the BDSM element here. Both MCs clearly felt uncomfortable for having submissive and dominant tendencies. But instead of talking to each other, they drifted apart? I might be missing something, because all this didn't make sense to me. The reason their relationship fell apart in the past was not explored that well.

Admittedly, the sex was pretty hot, but towards the end it was like a switch flipped; Rafe becomes a badass dom, and Braden a good sub. So all the things that drove them apart for years, got so easily resolved on this cruise ship, in a matter of days?

The writing was good, but the frequent flashbacks got too distracting.

Clearly, this didn't work for me. It felt contrived and unrealistic, and left me confused.
Profile Image for Christy.
4,428 reviews127 followers
February 25, 2023
"Because he needed Rafe. After five years, he couldn’t turn the man away. He needed what little bit he’d get before things went to hell. He needed the chance to touch, maybe kiss again. And maybe, if he was feeling particularly dangerous, he might just let himself make love with the man again. And when the cruise was over, he needed to go get his head examined."

Can you go back and fix wrongs and misunderstandings? I think if you have the kind of love that Braden and Rafe have, one that's still strong even after five years of no contact, then the odds are good. Unfortunately, you have to go slowly, and carefully, while trying to explain the reality of what happened, and since Rafe is at the wheel, no pun intended, he has his work cut out for him.

The description for this novel is fairly straightforward so I'm not going to reiterate it. Instead I'm going to talk about the things that really hit me about these main characters and their emotional journey. I very much appreciated the author writing in both their perspectives. There is way too much history, memories, fears, confusion, regret, etc. to just have a single point of view. Both Braden and Rafe spent time during this cruise thinking of their memories of each other, how they met freshman year, fell in love but didn't admit it until sophomore year, started their gaming company, lived together, and how Braden walked away after Rafe hurt him so badly.

Please find my full review at Rainbow Book Reviews
Profile Image for Cat.
379 reviews3 followers
May 6, 2016
***Angst and Drama, All Aboard!***

Okay, so the review title sounds tetchy, and you all know I’m a sucker for angsty stories, so this should be right up my alley, yes? Ehh, not so much this time. As stated in the blurb, Braden jumps to conclusions and then walks away … for FIVE YEARS … without ever letting Rafe have his say on a situation. All these years later, Rafe conspires with Braden’s mother to get them both on board a cruise ship for a month so that Rafe can win back his true love’s heart. Wait, what? He’s never been given an opportunity to explain the horror of that situation and five years later he’s still pining for this guy? What the actual eff? Seriously? How little self-esteem does this guy have? Okay, he’s a sucker - more power to him. I had a hard time connecting with Rafe and his opinion on the relationship with Braden. Oh yeah, Rafe is also a sexual dominant, making this entire situation even more implausible.

Okay, the good stuff - because yes, there is some good stuff - the sexy times between these two are great. I’m not sure how they ended up in a D/s situation with all the amazingly horrific miscommunication, but the scenes are very well written. Rafe’s assistant is amazing - she really made me smile, and I was sad that there weren’t more scenes with her in them. The pacing of the book is also excellent, which I expected considering there is a set timeframe on the boat.

When all is said and done, while this is okay, it is not a great example of this author’s work, and I admit I was disappointed. She has some really great work out there, so don’t skip her altogether! For this one, though, three stars is as high as I can go.



Review Copy of What About Now provided by the Author, Grace R. Duncan for an honest Review.
Reviewed by Cat from Alpha Book Club
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Profile Image for Barbara Ingram.
534 reviews10 followers
May 5, 2016
Title: What About Now
Author: Grace R. Duncan
Publisher: Dreamspinner Press
Reviewer: Barb
Release Date: May 9, 2016
Genre(s): M/M Romance, Second Chances, BDSM, Phobias
Page Count: 284
Heat Level: 4 flames out of 5
Rating: 4 stars out of 5



Review:


****4 Love on the High Seas Stars****

Grace Duncan is a new author to me and I really enjoyed reading about the second chance love story of Braden and Rafe. The writer builds up the background with remembrances of their love while in college, the gaming company they build together and then ultimately the horrible circumstances that lead to Braden fleeing their relationship. Forward 5 years and Braden is coerced into taking a month long cruise by his mother even though he has a fear of deep water. Rafe has never stopped loving Braden and conspires to win a date with Braden for a LGBT fundraiser that is being showcased on the cruise. Rafe has a plan for winning Braden back and as they spend more time together Braden and Rafe rekindle not only their love but their intense sexual chemistry. I did not like how Rafe informed Braden that 5 years ago what he thought of as Rafe cheating on him was actually an attempted rape situation. Over the course of the cruise Rafe and Braden finally communicate about their sexual needs and Rafe introduces Braden to BDSM. This is where things get pretty steamy! I loved some of the characters that are involved and the ending is very romantic. There should be a trigger warning as there are depictions of attempted rape. I will look forward to more from Ms. Duncan!

ARC provided by author in exchange for an honest review. Reviewed by Barb from Alpha Book Club

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Profile Image for Angie.
1,301 reviews23 followers
May 3, 2016
~I received a free copy of this book to read and review for Inked Rainbow Reads Review Team~
5 Stars for this M/M
When I first started reading this I really couldn’t get into it, the first 2%-3% didn’t have much dialogue and I hate that and I usually either skim the rest of the book or bail but something kept me going and I am so glad. This book just went straight to my heart. Braden and Rafe were together for several years, went to college together, started a business together and then things went to hell in a hand basket. The entire time I was rooting for them to get back together and to make it work this time. You couldn’t help but love both of them and see both sides of the story from each of their perspectives. The sex was hot as hell and they made you laugh non-stop. They had/have the kind of relationship everyone dreams of. I love how Braden’s mom was in on it to get him on the ship and how everyone was trying to make them come together like the auction that Rafe bought every ticket for or the night they got handcuffed together for charity. I am not sure I would ever go on a 28 day cruise but I loved how Braden and Rafe had that time away from everything to do what needed to be done to get their happily ever after. Loved this book and didn’t want it to end. It was a feel good book that I am sure I will be reading again.
Profile Image for Carly.
Author 5 books50 followers
April 18, 2016
Braden and Rafe are a formerly established couple who've spent the last five years separated by immaturity, stubbornness, pride and lack of communication. The back and forth nature of their interactions after meeting again is reminiscent of a young child pulling petals off a daisy--"He loves me, he loves me not"--shows they have a lot of growing yet to do.

What About Now is a mixture of angst, sexiness, romance and humor that starkly contrasts the then and now relationship between Braden and Rafe. One of the Duncan's greatest strengths as an author is that her characters and stories are real-life rather than fairy-tale. A fact I have to keep reminding myself of while in the midst of raging at Braden and Rafe in pure frustration because, as always, the push/pull emotional tenor makes sense at the end. Whew! **wipes brow** What About Now = What a Ride!!

MY OFFICIAL REVIEW written for Carly’s Book Reviews.
Profile Image for Denisesc21.
149 reviews44 followers
May 10, 2016
I normally do not read books about second chance love. Not because I avoid them-although I will admit I have because quite often they are too angsty for me, but more because I always have a hard time figuring out why their love didn't work out in the first place. What makes someone give up and just walk away?

But when I read the blurb on this it was very clear what caused the split (although finding out later there was more to it, of course), and I thought "Oh, a BDSM, which I love, and they are in a situation they can't get out of" and I jumped on it. Boy, was I wrong...in a good way. :)

What you find as you go through the book is that what really caused their separation was lack of communication. They simply stopped talking to each other. We never really find out why Braden stopped talking, other than he had listened to his stupid friend Paul, but since they are men, often that in itself is enough to keep from communicating.

Braden, once he goes through counseling for the attempted rape, and finds that he is a Dom, he knows that he needs to not only get Braden back, but help him to realize that his is a sub. That in itself is an undertaking, since Braden really has no concept of what BDSM entails, other than the always thought of whips and chains.

Braden's plan was actually fairly well thought out...start easy, friends, move to lovers, and then hope that since Braden is in love with him still that they will be able to find a way to move forward with what he felt would be necessary to both of them, a BDSM relationship. I enjoyed watching how he worked through each stage, realizing that things may not go as planned, and working through how to fix it from there.

Hella hot scenes, both without and with the BDSM. The author was able to realistically portray an entry into BDSM. Nothing is more frustrating than reading a BDSM book and finding that one of the two is new and the other just jumps in and "shows them what BDSM is". No. Just no. Show people that they need to read on it, work through limits, have discussions, and consent before anything is done. (There is a scene where that almost crosses the line, but as they had had a previous relationship of unspoken domination, I didn't find it uncomfortable.)
When all was said and done, I liked the flow in Rafe's plan, and how he put it into place. I'd hoped to see a bit more progression in Braden's communication, but since he had been stagnant in his life while they were not together, it isn't surprising that he hadn't. I would hope that after the defining incident towards the end that there would be help for him, just as Rafe was able to find help for himself.

After I was done, I went back and looked, because there were two characters who showed up on the cruise, helping Braden realize he needed to open his eyes, and with the relationship, I assumed it was from a previous book, and it was! So, I will be heading back and reading Beautiful Boy, and finding out how Mal and Kyle end up together. :)

4 stars
**arc provided for honest review**
Profile Image for Barb ~rede-2-read~.
3,749 reviews113 followers
July 18, 2016
Note: This book was provided to me by the publisher through Hearts on Fire Reviews in exchange for an impartial review.

Braden Kirk allows himself to be talked into taking a month-long cruise by his mother, who bought the tickets, and his boss, who forced him to take vacation time. Braden is a game developer and he’s been working pretty much nonstop for the past five years, ever since he walked in on his lover in the arms of another man. He walked out of their home, walked away from the company they founded together, and never looked back.

That part is really not true because in his darkest moments he remembers every minute with his lover, Rafe Jessen, very clearly and yearns for that closeness they shared before the disaster occurred. When he meets Rafe onboard, and then finds out that Rafe has won the raffle in which Brandon was the bachelor raffled off for an evening of dining and dancing, he wants to balk at first, but then he graciously gives in and agrees to dinner. This begins the long journey to getting back together.

But this time, all cards are on the table, including Rafe’s discovery that the reason he likes to be in charge in the bedroom is that he’s a Dominant. And he believes Brandon is a submissive, so with Brandon’s permission, the two set out to explore a D/s relationship, and Rafe rejoices that he seems to be making progress toward winning Brandon back—a goal he’s had for five long years.

There’s so much more to their story, including the full explanation for what was really happening the day Brandon discovered Rafe with the other man. In addition, Brandon had questioned their kinky behavior and was unable to find his submissive role acceptable. Plus, the voice of a close friend berating him for “those kinds of behaviors” never stops playing in his mind, so much so that it takes Brandon a while to come to terms with what he wants and what he truly needs once he’s reunited with Rafe.

The author explores a wide range of BDSM scenes, the basics of a D/s relationship, and the underlying need for complete trust and commitment between the two partners all while telling an intimate story of two very engaging characters. This is my first Grace R. Duncan story but it will definitely not be my last. It was very, very good in all ways—the storytelling, the slow rebuilding of the relationship, the explanations related to BDSM, and the wonderful three-dimensional character building.

I highly recommend this one to anyone who loves a lover’s reunited story and to those who are interested in trying a BDSM story. This one is definitely not “scary” for a new reader, and it’s particularly good in that it is not only a terrific story, it’s educational as well.

Profile Image for Caroline Brand.
1,755 reviews68 followers
May 9, 2016
REVIEWED FOR PRISM BOOK ALLIANCE

This story really hits home and reminds you that not everything you see should be taken at face value.

Five years ago Braden and Rafe were in love, had been since their college days, but due to a lack of communication things had started to go wrong. Braden was pulling away and avoiding his lover rather than sitting down and talking about things that were making him feel uncomfortable. When Braden comes home to find Rafe with another man he walks out and doesn’t return. If he had stopped to look properly and realised what was happening things could have ended very differently but he didn’t. He didn’t stop for the next five years even though he was desperately unhappy and still loved Rafe with all his heart. In those five years Rafe has picked himself up and received counselling and truly discovered just who he is.

Braden is terrified of large amounts of deep water but with a bit of cajoling and even a few threats he finds himself on a month long cruise raising money for a charity close to his heart. What he doesn’t expect is for Rafe, who he hasn’t seen since that fateful night, to be on the same cruise. Rafe has one plan, one well thought out and almost rehearsed plan and he puts it into motion the very first day on the ship.

I loved the way the author brought Rafe and Braden together even if at times it was unrealistic. A lot of the time it felt like everything just fell back into place, went easily back to how it used to be, but that was part of the challenge as the way things were hadn’t been working for them. Rafe is challenged with not only getting Braden back but having him accept certain aspects of their relationship that he needs. The easy part for both of them was love – they both still loved each other deeply and always had and I think that made the situation seem more desperate as neither of them wanted to lose that for a second time.

I have read a few books of Grace’s where BDSM features in the story and I always enjoy the scenes the author puts together and this one was no different. From Rafe having to hold back to Braden accepting this part of himself I felt engrossed in the storyline and loved every aspect.
Profile Image for Cee Brown.
1,310 reviews38 followers
May 9, 2016
He'd avoided relationships for the last five years and had no intention of breaking that record.

A ship in the middle of the ocean was the last place Braden Kirk thought his past would catch up with him. He had enough with his mother forcing him on this cruise and his fear of the open water to deal.

Rafe Jessen was the man Braden had left all those years prior when he walked in on his long time lover with another man. With no explanation, he had all but disappeared. Now Rafe was back and wanting more than Braden could give him. Or could he?

They say "true love never dies, long after the love had lost its shine"

My theme song for this book...yes, I have one for each that I read, played over and over in my head, as Regina King voice grew stronger and stronger.

Braden and Rafe were meant to be. It was evident from them meeting after five years and scorched across the pages. The twists and turns were a wild ride and the biggest surprise was the BDSM quality of the relationship. It was well versed and beautiful.

Twenty eight days at sea was enough time for Rafe to bring home all that he had endured and turned out to be more than enough time for Braden to realize that Rafe was all he wanted and needed...HEA.

I highly recommend What About Now to any MM reader and persons who believe in second chances.

ARC provided by Author in exchange for an honest review.
Reviewed by Cee from Alpha Book Club
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Profile Image for Tina.
2,697 reviews15 followers
August 14, 2016
What About Now by Grace R. Duncan is a sweet romance about two lovers getting a second chance. Braden broke up with his true love five years ago. His life has been just about work since then. His mom convinces him to go on a cruise for charity. He agrees, and get the surprise of his life. Braden is a sweet guy, who has been truly hurt. He is a one man kind of guy. He never could find a way to love anyone else but Rafe.
Rafe wants one thing, forgiveness. He has been stuck in time since the break up. He will do anything at all to win Braden back. Even tell him the real truth of why he left in the first place, knowing this could break them up for good.
I love books about second chances. This one is emotionally gripping and sweet all at the same time. Rafe is a determined man, and Braden needs him more than he thinks he does. These two deserve the second chance they got. When you want a sweet, hot romance, this is the book to pick up.

Five Shooting Stars
Profile Image for Sara .
1,541 reviews154 followers
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May 9, 2016

This is my kind of book! Full of angst and second chance romance all while finding out who you really are.

Romances of established couples and second chances are among my top favorites. The thought that you can screw up something so bad and yet be able to reconnect again and have the possibility of being happy with the one who got away is something I simply adore and this story delivered for me.

This is the first read from me by the author and I fell instantly in love with the story and the ease of her writing. From the first page I was engaged with Braden and couldn’t wait until Rafe showed up and then he did and I couldn’t stop reading. Normally when I read, I often check the percentage to see how much longer the book is but with this, I just read and ignored everything else but the words on the page.

So, Braden is talked into going on a cruise by his mother and his boss to take a much needed vacation and to support Jacob’s Place with is an LGBT charity. When he gets on the ship and attends the first function, he learns he is to be part of an auction for a date and when the person who “won” him shows up, Braden is shocked. That person is his ex-partner, Rafe, who he hasn’t seen in five long years and from there, we begin to get their story.

We know from the blurb that something happened to keep Rafe and Braden apart for five years and while that seems extreme, matters of the heart can often be and when you need to walk away to save yourself, you do what you have to. Put this “something” brought on a lot of angst between the two men and me, being a self-proclaimed angst whore, could not get enough though I was dying to know what happened.

I won’t go into detail about the incident that caused the separation but for me, I can see why Braden did what he did and why it hurt so much to realize what had really happened. They say hindsight is a bitch and when you add regret to it, it can become crippling but having Rafe go through what he did and do the work to get through it that adds more than I could have hoped for. Was it screwed up what happened? Yes. Were either of the men at fault for it? No. There is a fine line we walk with the ones we love and love itself, it not always rational.

Rafe really grabbed my heart with how grew so much during the five years apart from Braden and once he realized what he wanted, he did everything he could to try and get it back. Not everyone would have the courage to try what he did, and honestly knowing that it could hurt more if Braden rejected him but he does it anyway because he found the one for him and that is worth fighting for.

Braden was beyond lovely and endearing from the start. Knowing how much he’s thrown himself in to work to not deal with what happened with Rafe was heartbreaking. I am sure it seems overkill to walk away like he did and I did like that he questioned if he knew what really happened before Rafe told him the details of that day. The relationship between Rafe and Braden was crumbling and the blame was on them both for not communicating.

I know there are readers who hate miscommunication in books but I am one who kinda digs it. I never thought I would until I was married for a few years and talked to other married couples and realized, it happens. Even the best communicators can get so lost in their own head that they forget to let the other person in on the solo conversation they have in their grey matter… but I digress.

Back to the book.

I loved that the story was told from dual POV’s and how we got glimpses into the men’s pasts with memories from them both as a couple and during their time apart. I think for a story like this, you need to know what each man is thinking and the details that led up to their current situation. Getting the bits of Rafe and Braden when they first met as college roommates to their first kiss owned my hopeless romantic heart. Knowing that they both haven’t lost the love they shared during their separation and how quickly they fell into old patterns, well that could be typical because it’s easy to fall back in to the comfort zone of what we know

But even though endearments and sentiments were exchanged early the men knew there were issues they had to deal with and they were big one but the biggest one was communication and I really enjoyed how it was played out.

Not everyone gets the chance to figure out who they are at a young age and even if you do, there are always new things to learn. For Rafe, that thing was learning that he is a Dominant, that he craves the dominance in bed and from a relationship. He goes about his journey so thoughtful in his research and they why of it all; he knows what he desires and he knows that Braden is the one for him but how does he bring this honestly in the relationship without losing Braden.

When the men finally talk about what was tearing them apart five years ago, it was enlightening. I liked that the author didn’t take it to the extremes and that Braden had been doing a lot of what Rafe wanted without putting a name to his submission and that Rafe was there to guide him through it. Sure, it may seem fast but once again, these two had been a couple previously and had done a few things, they just didn’t realize their roles had names and could have rules/boundaries etc.

Wow. I have rambled, haven't I?

What About Now really is a story about second chances. It’s a romance about two men who don’t want to be without them man they love and though a misunderstanding led to drastic action and a long term separation, they have a chance at their love again. It’s a story about accepting your needs, communicating them with your partner and hoping the second time around, is even better than the first.


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Profile Image for Fay MMBookworm.
3,074 reviews66 followers
April 4, 2021
An okayish story to the book as Braden boards a ship not knowing who awaits him.
A second changes story with the past of 5 years ago jumps back out at Braden like its a lead balloon so to speak. Their first meeting doesn't go to plan for Rafe and he's got some work to do to win him back. Past feelings surfaced but they weren't that deep being hidden or its a completely 360 flip (don't know hmm still undecided how I felt on this). Things have changed for Rafe finding out he's a Dominant and he still loved Braden. Sexy scenes are hot and includes both pov's in the story.
A good ending for the book. I've read this author before and loved the other books although this one didn't get there for me.

Braden boards a ship for a 28 days charity vacation. Unbeknownst to Braden Rafe was on the same ship like he'd planned.
Profile Image for Keri.
155 reviews
May 8, 2016
This story shows that communication is key to everything in life: from work, colleagues, family, friends and most definitely your loved one. Rafe and Braden had that communication until a certain “friend” gave horrible advice and everything went to hell.

I truly enjoyed reading this story being told in the present with reflection to the past, which was crucial to understanding both of these men. Braden and Rafe had the perfect relationship (being in love with, living with, and in business with your best friend), but Rafe didn’t understand why he felt the need to be dominant in bed, which didn’t help with communicating with Braden. Braden didn’t understand or be able to name the needs of Rafe and turned to a so-called friend for advice. That advice was absolutely horrible and Paul should be shot on sight for even thinking he may know anything what Braden was feeling. Paul must obviously be living a desperately lonely life if he acts like that. Best advice should have been to listen and encourage Braden to talk to Rafe so they could figure it together. Besides, these two men’s chemistry were off the charts and their smexy times were so HOT that my kindle burned...phew!

Even though the scene that split them up was a misunderstanding, I give Braden kudos for holding out to not give Rafe the chance to explain, as usually (not all, as in this case) a cheater will just lie about the situation. It did break my heart to read about both men and their feelings regarding what happened to Rafe and then Braden. I also give Rafe kudos for finally going after what his heart, mind and body wants even if it meant his life’s demise, as his heart was already dying inside anyways without Braden.

The journey that these two take from Rafe learning about his dominance, and Braden trying to understand submissiveness is not weak (yes, Paul, you are the weak one! And thank you to the fabulous Kyle and Kane who were absolutely perfect) was beautiful. Even though they were an established couple who broke up for 5 years, then came back together, we lived through their journey of rediscovering themselves to form an unbreakable and lovable relationship that we all hope to have.

*I received this ARC to read for Inked Rainbow Reads in exchange for an honest review.*
Profile Image for Natosha Wilson.
1,274 reviews15 followers
May 6, 2016
This is a book that is full of hurt, heartbreak, misunderstandings, misconceptions, and of course love.

Rafe and Braden both have went through more than there fair share of all of those things that I previously mentioned. And because of the hurt, pain, misunderstandings, and misconceptions that both suffered a great heartache that neither was able to more on from even 5 years after they split up and Braden left Rafe.

Rafe and Braden's mom set him up to be on a month long cruise five years after Braden walked out on Rafe. Braden had no clue that Rafe was going to be on the cruise nor did he know that Rafe was determined to set straight what truly happened the night that Braden walked into their home 5 years ago and thought that Rafe was cheating on him, which is the furthest thing from the truth and what actually happened. He also did not know that Rafe was still just as much in love with him as he had always been and that he was planning to win him back.

This is a book that shows exactly how not communicating with the one you love can cause a rift in your relationship and how when that rift starts, things can get turned around in your head and you may not see what is actually reality as to what is happening in front of you. Distrust can make you perceive one thing that is completely opposite. It also shows that not all advice you are given is good advice. That sometimes when you ask a friend for their advice, it may not be the best advice because they have no knowledge on the topic that you are talking about.

Even though this book is about some deeply sad misunderstandings it is also about second chances and opening your heart when you are scared. It is about opening your mind and trying to understand yourself as well as loving the one you are with.

I love this book. I look forward to reading more books by Grace Duncan. She is an amazing author and really portrayed her talents in this book.

Was given this book for free from inked rainbow reads for an honest review
Profile Image for Avid Reader.
1,752 reviews
April 6, 2016
What About Now by Grace R. Duncan
4 stars
M/M Second chance romance
Triggers: Attempted rape, BDSM components
I was given this book for an honest review by Inked Rainbow Reads.

Rafe is a well known game developer/business man. He is also a workaholic since his split from the love of his life, Braden. Throughout this story, we catch snippets of their relationship and how it was - Rafe controlling and domineering and unable to understand why. Then you are given a somewhat disjointed accounting of his past and possible reasons as to why Rafe needed the control.

Then you are thrown in to the vacation of Braden. He is coerced on to a ship, despite his giant phobia of large bodies of water by his parents. It is supposed to be a chance for him to take a break, relax and not be such a workaholic too. However, what he doesn't realize is that it is also a setup. Rafe has convinced Braden's mom to trick him on to the cruise.

When they meet again, it's a shock to Braden. However, I found that despite his reservations about allowing Rafe back in to his life again, he does let Rafe back in fairly quickly and without a lot of begging on Rafe's part. It is almost too easy for Rafe, in my opinion.

You see their relationship from the past and present - this is where the book, for me, kind of slows down. It is much more about them courting than their actual relationship and what the past issues had been. I wish that it had been less on the ship and more about them moving forward.

However, you also see where they can learn and develop their BDSM relationship.

Overall, this was a sweet second chance romance, but it was a little slow.
Profile Image for DebbieReadsBooks.
2,764 reviews50 followers
May 11, 2016
Independent reviewer for Divine Magazine, I was gifted my copy of this book.

5 years since Braden walked in on Rafe and then out of their life together, he is existing, not living. A month's cruise seems to be just what he needs to finally get over Rafe, and to get over his feel of open water. Rafe never gave up on the hope that he'd get Braden back. The cruise to raise money for the LGBT shelter seemed like the perfect place to corner Braden, and make him listen, at least.

I liked this one, a lot!

Braden and Rafe love each other still, even after all this time and the effect each has on the other man hasn't diminished, if anything, its even stronger than it was. But they need to address two things: what caused Braden to pull away, and what he saw that day.

There follows a beautifully written tale of discovery, of themselves, of each other and of their relationship. Its well written from both men's POV. So we get Braden's reaction to seeing Rafe again. His feelings about what happened and his overwhelming relief when the talk about everything. We get Rafe's determination to stick to his plan, no matter how far Braden pushes his buttons; his love for Braden and his anger at what happens to Braden on the cruise.

It's not overly complicated, nor is it a difficult read, even when Rafe talks about that night. It does get lovey-dovey really quickly, with the "I love you's" coming very early on but other than that, a really good read!

4 stars

**same worded review will appear on Goodreads, Amazon.co.uk, Amazon.com, Barnes and Noble and Kobo**
Profile Image for Antisocial Recluse.
2,711 reviews
April 26, 2017
2.5 stars because there were a few parts that I liked okay. But so much of this was too fucking ridiculous. Braden and Rafe had to have been together for close to 10 years. After that long Braden starts having concerns about their sex life? So instead of like, I dunno, TALKING TO HIS PARTNER, he goes to some random friend, who tells him he's a sick puppy. Rafe, who realizes Braden is avoiding him, gives him only disappointed looks instead of, I dunno, TALKING TO HIS PARTNER, goes to a random friend and almost gets roofie raped. Which Braden sees just enough of to assume the worst, walks out, and never speaks to Rafe again for 5 freaking years. Rafe gets counseling, figures out what was bothering Braden and instead of trying to reach out again, spends two years becoming a Dom, for some convoluted plot to get Braden back. 10 years together, and they both just walk away from a life, and a business, no communication, not even attorneys? Stay madly in love for 5 long years? Killed the whole book. Absurd premise.

The rest was Rafe getting Braden back, Braden still a complete and utter idiot who can't seem to figure out how to have a conversation. Fast intro to D/s, Braden likes it, then freaks out, just happens to run into other subs, suddenly understands, and promptly asks Rafe to marry him. I only kept reading because after all that utter tripe, I at least deserved a couple of decent sex scenes. Especially after the dragging first half, with way more than I needed to know about cruise ship decks.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
Profile Image for Joyfully Jay.
9,075 reviews517 followers
May 13, 2016
A Joyfully Jay review.

3 stars


While What About Now by Grace R. Duncan began well, with Braden truly nervous and almost angry with Rafe, the change in Braden’s thoughts about not opening himself up to pain turned rather swiftly. There had been a devastating breakup, yet in a matter of a few days, Braden was already considering getting back with his ex. This rapid capitulation then led to Braden worrying over the other reason for their initial breakup—the dominant tone to Rafe’s lovemaking. After confiding in a friend, Braden had pulled away from Rafe sexually and that led to their relationship beginning to falter. However it was something else altogether that finally shattered Braden’s trust in Rafe. Without giving that important plot point away, the revelation that all was not what it seemed five years before allows Braden to begin to open up his heart once more. Unfortunately, here is another place where what should have been gradual reconnecting leaped to both men declaring that they loved each other way too soon—again in just a few days. Realistically, after five years apart, these two should have taken a bit more time to figure out what they still meant to each other.

Read Sammy’s review in its entirety here.
Profile Image for Diverse.
1,179 reviews53 followers
May 9, 2016
I had a lot of love for this story. Only one issue and we can get to that later. Let me tell you what I loved. Rafe. He’s my favorite. He’s so beyond broken… well, that’s unfair. Let’s say he is a work in progress. At first we didn’t know why Rafe and Braden broke up 5 years ago and it took a while to find out why. But we did and it’s heartbreaking. The moment of truth kind of takes the air out of you and you want to scoop Rafe up and tell him it’s all okay.

I got the hesitation in Braden up to a certain point then I was like. Okay there, buddy, time to get to talking. No more thinking. I’d like to say it’s a slow burn and in a way it is. But because Rafe and Braden had so much to work through I felt the timing was right when they do finally get to the sexy times.

My only issue, and it’s a realism sort of thing, I found it incredibly unrealistic that they were together for how long they were, broke up after owning a business and home together, and didn’t talk one word in 5 years. I had a hard time wrapping my head around that part. But that is where my issues end.

It’s very well written. Grace brings beautiful broken characters to life and makes them all better the finesse and creativity.

Very enjoyable.
Profile Image for Lynnette Hartwig.
419 reviews9 followers
May 8, 2016
3.5 Stars

Sadly I can only give this book 3 star rating. This book was okay but not great. I do enjoy this authors writing style and when I read the blurb I could wait to read this. Unfortunately this book was kind a dull and uninspiring. The chemistry between Rafe and Braden was HOT and the tender moments aspiring, but unfortunately it ends there. The BDSM was there but seem to be lacking the emotion and excitement to really even consider believing it. Don’t get me wrong I love reading BDSM books this just not really for me. I did love the romantic aspect of the story but never really warmed up to either Rafe or Braden.

I received a free copy of this book to read for Inked Rainbow Reads in exchange for an honest review.
Profile Image for Marinieves.
1,165 reviews
May 18, 2016
This is another great story by this author. Grace knows how to write and her stories are always interesting.
Rafe and Braden were in a relationship and a misunderstanding made them go their separate ways.
During a cruise ship trip, they get together again but have to learn how to work become what they wanted as a couple.
They always had love and devotion … they just needed to fight for the right type of relationship they wanted.

Profile Image for Anke.
2,505 reviews97 followers
nope
April 8, 2016
Need to mark this 'nope' so that I don't accidentally buy it. As there is this 'walking away without giving a chance to explain' alone is something I hate in a story. Add to that some 'dominant tendencies' and submission thrown in, the way the blurb reads - this is not for me.
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