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Nobody Asked Me, But ....
Apart from breaking two of my mates' noses (one in the ring and one chasing a 'runner') I used to be known for my stories. And they were all true. I'd come back from distant shores and speak of my adventures.
So much so in fact that people used to say, "You should write a book."
My diatribes in my blogs and newspaper columns are simply my way of spinning the balls, because sometimes I like to see what number they land on. That’s all.
But although I’m known mostly as a raconteur - and most of my books can be described as coming from the humourist vein – in ‘Nobody Asked Me’ I touch on some subjects that are surely going to upset a few people.
I’ve never quite understood the politically correct brigade. Hardly any subject is taboo to the Englishman when he’s laughing. No longer simply a fad, blogging is now an important new literary innovation. This book is not a story, and if you’re looking for a book that is all sweetness and light, please give this one a miss. It’s not for you. I won’t be offended and I honestly wish you a great life. If everyone likes me, then I’m not being controversial enough – and trust me when I say that in this book I get controversial.
Oh, don’t worry; the humour that my fans seem to enjoy so much is still there, but right now the planet’s spinning in new and scary directions, and this needs to be addressed. So inside the covers of this book I take a look at some of the challenges we’re currently facing. And some of my opinions are going to rattle a few people.
So is a comedy writer honestly the best one to challenge some of the perceptions we’re facing nowadays? Well, I’ve always believed that if you can make people laugh then they tend to listen to what you say when you’re serious. And my goal, my life’s ambition if you like, is to give direction to comedy, purpose to satire.
So why the rabbit popping out of a tin of soup on the cover. Well ‘Rabbit & Pork’ is Cockney rhyming slang for Talk, and on more than one occasion I’ve been accused of rabbiting away excessively – mostly at parties, and generally by my wife.
But why a tin of soup? Well I tend to believe that everyone is born perfect. Nobody is born with an inherent capacity to hate. It has to be taught. All of our experiences – family, school, work, the books we read, the newspapers we peruse, the music we listen to, our friends, our social life, the opinions of those around us, religion, sports we play or watch, those we love and those who love us, those we desire and those who desire us, those we travel with, our hopes and dreams and ambitions and achievements, our triumphs and disasters - go into a metaphorical cooking pot that we carry with us throughout our lives.
All these ‘ingredients’ make up our Soup of Life.
Now, when making a soup, once you’ve added an ingredient, it’s forever blended in and you can’t take it out again. You add a sprinkling of finely chopped garnish; cumin or oregano, and you can never take that ingredient out again. Never, ever, ever.
So say at the age of six you add black pepper or rosemary or hatred or love or comedy, from then onwards it’ll always be part and parcel of your ‘soup.’ And as you add more ingredients the ‘recipe’ of your life evolves, and before you know it you can’t taste the coriander or the love any more, but it’s still there at a deep subliminal level. Remember that.
Some people may not add hatred until they’re in their twenties, and most of us never add it at all.
So much so in fact that people used to say, "You should write a book."
My diatribes in my blogs and newspaper columns are simply my way of spinning the balls, because sometimes I like to see what number they land on. That’s all.
But although I’m known mostly as a raconteur - and most of my books can be described as coming from the humourist vein – in ‘Nobody Asked Me’ I touch on some subjects that are surely going to upset a few people.
I’ve never quite understood the politically correct brigade. Hardly any subject is taboo to the Englishman when he’s laughing. No longer simply a fad, blogging is now an important new literary innovation. This book is not a story, and if you’re looking for a book that is all sweetness and light, please give this one a miss. It’s not for you. I won’t be offended and I honestly wish you a great life. If everyone likes me, then I’m not being controversial enough – and trust me when I say that in this book I get controversial.
Oh, don’t worry; the humour that my fans seem to enjoy so much is still there, but right now the planet’s spinning in new and scary directions, and this needs to be addressed. So inside the covers of this book I take a look at some of the challenges we’re currently facing. And some of my opinions are going to rattle a few people.
So is a comedy writer honestly the best one to challenge some of the perceptions we’re facing nowadays? Well, I’ve always believed that if you can make people laugh then they tend to listen to what you say when you’re serious. And my goal, my life’s ambition if you like, is to give direction to comedy, purpose to satire.
So why the rabbit popping out of a tin of soup on the cover. Well ‘Rabbit & Pork’ is Cockney rhyming slang for Talk, and on more than one occasion I’ve been accused of rabbiting away excessively – mostly at parties, and generally by my wife.
But why a tin of soup? Well I tend to believe that everyone is born perfect. Nobody is born with an inherent capacity to hate. It has to be taught. All of our experiences – family, school, work, the books we read, the newspapers we peruse, the music we listen to, our friends, our social life, the opinions of those around us, religion, sports we play or watch, those we love and those who love us, those we desire and those who desire us, those we travel with, our hopes and dreams and ambitions and achievements, our triumphs and disasters - go into a metaphorical cooking pot that we carry with us throughout our lives.
All these ‘ingredients’ make up our Soup of Life.
Now, when making a soup, once you’ve added an ingredient, it’s forever blended in and you can’t take it out again. You add a sprinkling of finely chopped garnish; cumin or oregano, and you can never take that ingredient out again. Never, ever, ever.
So say at the age of six you add black pepper or rosemary or hatred or love or comedy, from then onwards it’ll always be part and parcel of your ‘soup.’ And as you add more ingredients the ‘recipe’ of your life evolves, and before you know it you can’t taste the coriander or the love any more, but it’s still there at a deep subliminal level. Remember that.
Some people may not add hatred until they’re in their twenties, and most of us never add it at all.
274 pages, Kindle Edition
First published March 31, 2016
4 people are currently reading
661 people want to read
About the author
Karl Wiggins
25 books324 followersKarl Wiggins – Author, humourist, raconteur and (unfortunately) master of dysphemism
I'm an author with seven books on Amazon Kindle, and I'll state right from the start that I have a particular aversion to fellow authors who befriend you and then immediately message you saying, "You might like my book ..... check it out."
I don't do that. If people wish to know more about my books the information is here to read, but I won't invade your personal space (not to mention precious time) with pleas to check out my own books
My goal, my life’s ambition if you like, is to give direction to comedy, purpose to satire. And this is probably why I write the way I do, in order to use self-deprecating, piss-taking humour to bring to the fore situations that just don’t stack up. To demonstrate that serious issues can be approached with humour.
Embarrassingly, a number of the reviews for my books seem to involve people losing control of their bladder; “Anyone who is a bit saucy, very fond of boobies and doesn't mind peeing slightly when they laugh too hard, this is the book for you!” “Best not to read this book on the train if you have a full bladder because by the end of your journey you will have a damp patch in an embarrassing place.” “I have to admit that I wet myself twice while reading it but this may in part have been due to my age and a couple of bottles of a fine St. Emilion,” “Due to the laughter you owe my secretary one clean pair of knickers.”
Two reviewers have even suggested I should tour as a stand-up comedian; “I found myself laughing out-loud and even sharing segments with my spouse ….. I think Karl could tour as a stand-up comedian,” “Mr Wiggins has views on life that are expressed in a manner worthy of any stand-up comedian.”
So my scribblings do seem to raise a smile and a chuckle, and either way you look at it, that has to be a good thing. Hardly any subject is taboo to the Englishman when he’s laughing, and this often seems insensitive to other cultures, but the bedrock of the British sense of humour is a strong sense of sarcasm and self-deprecation. The British can be very passionate – and if you doubt that try going to a football match - but that passion is hidden deep in our humour so that other nationals often fail to recognise the deadpan delivery and are never quite sure if they’ve been involved in a serious conversation or just a little bit of friendly banter.
Having said that my style of writing is now appealing more and more to the American market, and I write a regular column for a newsletter in Copiague, Long Island, New York. I’m really enjoying connecting with the people over there.
Interestingly enough, my writing style has been compared to two people, both now dead, Charles Bukowski and Socrates. Their names keep popping up in reviews; “Mr Bukowski, meet Socrates. This is an exceptionally amusing collection of observations of daily life,” “The prose style reminded me quite a lot of Charles Bukowski’s short essays and observations,” “It reminded me a lot of Bukowski’s novels, but particularly Factotum and Post Office,” “Had me laughing out loud several times, which doesn’t happen often to me. It reminded me a lot of Bukowski’s novels,” (I swear those are two completely separate reviewers), “Karl Wiggins is like a contemporary Socrates.”
I’m sure both Socrates and Charles Bukowski would turn in their graves. But then again, maybe not.
My books;
'You Really are full of Shit, Aren't You?' is my latest and possible my favourite. It's an agony uncle / advice columnist style book, but unlike most agony aunts I cut them no slack.
I'll be the first to admit that 'Dogshit Saved my Life' and 'Calico Jack in your Garden' are not to everyone's taste, but the reviews are good, so I seem to be hitting the right note.
'Shit my History Teacher DID NOT tell me' kind of speaks for itself I guess, as does 'Grit - The Banter & Brutality of the Late-Night Cab Driver.' I drove cab in b
I'm an author with seven books on Amazon Kindle, and I'll state right from the start that I have a particular aversion to fellow authors who befriend you and then immediately message you saying, "You might like my book ..... check it out."
I don't do that. If people wish to know more about my books the information is here to read, but I won't invade your personal space (not to mention precious time) with pleas to check out my own books
My goal, my life’s ambition if you like, is to give direction to comedy, purpose to satire. And this is probably why I write the way I do, in order to use self-deprecating, piss-taking humour to bring to the fore situations that just don’t stack up. To demonstrate that serious issues can be approached with humour.
Embarrassingly, a number of the reviews for my books seem to involve people losing control of their bladder; “Anyone who is a bit saucy, very fond of boobies and doesn't mind peeing slightly when they laugh too hard, this is the book for you!” “Best not to read this book on the train if you have a full bladder because by the end of your journey you will have a damp patch in an embarrassing place.” “I have to admit that I wet myself twice while reading it but this may in part have been due to my age and a couple of bottles of a fine St. Emilion,” “Due to the laughter you owe my secretary one clean pair of knickers.”
Two reviewers have even suggested I should tour as a stand-up comedian; “I found myself laughing out-loud and even sharing segments with my spouse ….. I think Karl could tour as a stand-up comedian,” “Mr Wiggins has views on life that are expressed in a manner worthy of any stand-up comedian.”
So my scribblings do seem to raise a smile and a chuckle, and either way you look at it, that has to be a good thing. Hardly any subject is taboo to the Englishman when he’s laughing, and this often seems insensitive to other cultures, but the bedrock of the British sense of humour is a strong sense of sarcasm and self-deprecation. The British can be very passionate – and if you doubt that try going to a football match - but that passion is hidden deep in our humour so that other nationals often fail to recognise the deadpan delivery and are never quite sure if they’ve been involved in a serious conversation or just a little bit of friendly banter.
Having said that my style of writing is now appealing more and more to the American market, and I write a regular column for a newsletter in Copiague, Long Island, New York. I’m really enjoying connecting with the people over there.
Interestingly enough, my writing style has been compared to two people, both now dead, Charles Bukowski and Socrates. Their names keep popping up in reviews; “Mr Bukowski, meet Socrates. This is an exceptionally amusing collection of observations of daily life,” “The prose style reminded me quite a lot of Charles Bukowski’s short essays and observations,” “It reminded me a lot of Bukowski’s novels, but particularly Factotum and Post Office,” “Had me laughing out loud several times, which doesn’t happen often to me. It reminded me a lot of Bukowski’s novels,” (I swear those are two completely separate reviewers), “Karl Wiggins is like a contemporary Socrates.”
I’m sure both Socrates and Charles Bukowski would turn in their graves. But then again, maybe not.
My books;
'You Really are full of Shit, Aren't You?' is my latest and possible my favourite. It's an agony uncle / advice columnist style book, but unlike most agony aunts I cut them no slack.
I'll be the first to admit that 'Dogshit Saved my Life' and 'Calico Jack in your Garden' are not to everyone's taste, but the reviews are good, so I seem to be hitting the right note.
'Shit my History Teacher DID NOT tell me' kind of speaks for itself I guess, as does 'Grit - The Banter & Brutality of the Late-Night Cab Driver.' I drove cab in b
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Displaying 1 - 4 of 4 reviews
September 14, 2021
Brilliantly truthful. I've read this book for the second time and found it more rewarding than ever. This is the stuff that most of us don't dare to say, but still think. This is the most rewarding book I have ever read about the status quo of UK, or indeed anywhere in the world. Loved it.
April 13, 2016
This Book Was Keeping My Hubby Awake!
They say ‘Variety is the spice of life’ and that is pretty much what you get with ‘Nobody Asked Me, But…’
Author Karl Wiggins gives his viewpoints on a variety from topics including: sports, food, current events, travel, women and real life events from his life. I have to say I would read this in bed at night and start laughing due to the author’s humorous style. I was actually keeping my hubby awake and had to read in the next room. There’s no holding back as the author brazenly takes a stab at some of the most riveting issues in our world today. I loved the chapter on Men vs. Women and was in hysterics on the one about authors and swap reviews. My side actually hurt from laughing. He got it right that time! Now that I know that author’s style I am looking forward to reading more of his work. Be prepared to be informed and greatly entertained.
They say ‘Variety is the spice of life’ and that is pretty much what you get with ‘Nobody Asked Me, But…’
Author Karl Wiggins gives his viewpoints on a variety from topics including: sports, food, current events, travel, women and real life events from his life. I have to say I would read this in bed at night and start laughing due to the author’s humorous style. I was actually keeping my hubby awake and had to read in the next room. There’s no holding back as the author brazenly takes a stab at some of the most riveting issues in our world today. I loved the chapter on Men vs. Women and was in hysterics on the one about authors and swap reviews. My side actually hurt from laughing. He got it right that time! Now that I know that author’s style I am looking forward to reading more of his work. Be prepared to be informed and greatly entertained.
August 28, 2018
This book fooled me. Started reading it and realized it was another Brit trying to be funny - had a hard time sticking to it.
Then it started to grab me. Wiggins does a great job of taking a realistic look a life and making fun of it. Intersperse that with some serious stuff - some of which I did not know - and you have an enjoyable read.
And I found, he can make me laugh.
Will read more.
Then it started to grab me. Wiggins does a great job of taking a realistic look a life and making fun of it. Intersperse that with some serious stuff - some of which I did not know - and you have an enjoyable read.
And I found, he can make me laugh.
Will read more.
April 15, 2016
I believe this eclectic mishmash is Karl Wiggins' best work so far. Wiggins is very funny--so funny that I burst out laughing while sitting in a medical facility; causing people to stare. How embarrassing. But the other side of this author is deep and complex. He's brilliant! Many of the thoughts he wrote about could have been written by me, because they matched my own. But the funny lines? I only wish I had written them. In the beginning of this book, Mr. Wiggins makes it clear the book is not for everyone. That's correct. Anyone who gets offended easily should pass this up, even though that would be a shame. Because this book is brilliant!
Displaying 1 - 4 of 4 reviews