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21 Days to Resilience: How to Transcend the Daily Grind, Deal with the Tough Stuff, and Discover Your Strongest Self
Happiness is not about wishful thinking, good luck, or avoiding negative thoughts. In fact, the only path to true happiness requires seeing challenges as opportunities and discovering emotional strength during times of struggle. In other words, it's about resilience. Resilience is a quality most of us want to possess. The big issue is that no one knows how to access it in their day-to-day life. We understand that it's important, that it's crucial even, but it seems like an ephemeral thing that you either have or you don't. How we actually attain the skills to become resilient has been left out of the conversation. Until now.
In 21 Days to Resilience, Dr. Zelana Montminy, a leading expert in positive psychology, offers a practical, science-backed toolkit to develop your capacity to handle whatever life throws your way—and thrive. Each day of her powerful program, Dr. Montminy introduces a key trait necessary to improve resiliency and enhance wellbeing, such as gratitude, focus, playfulness, self-respect, and flexibility, then provides three simple tasks to accomplish that day—one in the morning, one during the day, and one in the evening. In addition, the book offers a "Take Stock" section that will help you gauge your current level of skill and each chapter ends with a "Lifelong" exercise that offers ways to build the skill as needed to keep your resiliency muscles strong.
Dr. Montminy writes, "Being resilient does not mean that you won't encounter problems or have difficulties overcoming a challenge in your life. The difference is that resilient people don't let their adversity define them. At its core, resilience is about being capable and strong enough to persevere in adverse or stressful conditions—and to take away positive meaning from that experience. Living with resilience is more than just bouncing back; it is about shifting our perceptions, changing our responses, and growing from them." Combining proven science, unique exercises, and insights from real-life experience, 21 Days to Resilience lays the foundation for happiness and shows you how to build your strength to carry you through the rest of your life.
In 21 Days to Resilience, Dr. Zelana Montminy, a leading expert in positive psychology, offers a practical, science-backed toolkit to develop your capacity to handle whatever life throws your way—and thrive. Each day of her powerful program, Dr. Montminy introduces a key trait necessary to improve resiliency and enhance wellbeing, such as gratitude, focus, playfulness, self-respect, and flexibility, then provides three simple tasks to accomplish that day—one in the morning, one during the day, and one in the evening. In addition, the book offers a "Take Stock" section that will help you gauge your current level of skill and each chapter ends with a "Lifelong" exercise that offers ways to build the skill as needed to keep your resiliency muscles strong.
Dr. Montminy writes, "Being resilient does not mean that you won't encounter problems or have difficulties overcoming a challenge in your life. The difference is that resilient people don't let their adversity define them. At its core, resilience is about being capable and strong enough to persevere in adverse or stressful conditions—and to take away positive meaning from that experience. Living with resilience is more than just bouncing back; it is about shifting our perceptions, changing our responses, and growing from them." Combining proven science, unique exercises, and insights from real-life experience, 21 Days to Resilience lays the foundation for happiness and shows you how to build your strength to carry you through the rest of your life.
224 pages, Kindle Edition
First published May 3, 2016
232 people are currently reading
926 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 41 reviews
June 3, 2017
I feel like I have to give a self-help book five stars if I put even a few of the tips into practice. Full of practical ideas to make daily life simpler, and all centered around the idea of resilience, which is a construct I love. I listened to this on audio, and it is another one I will definitely re-visit for ideas.
June 17, 2018
Actual rating 3.5/5 stars.
This self-improvement guide gave, as the title suggests, 21 mini inspirational speeches on 21 different subjects that prompted the reader to improve their lives in 21 easy steps over just 21 days. Whilst I did find the contents of interest and appreciated both the positive advice and motivational spirit it imparted, I found audio was the wrong format for me to absorb this book in. When it was suggesting alterations I could make in my life I found my attention drifting towards the personal and away from what the narrator was continuing on with saying, meaning I had to double back at quiet a few times over the course of the book and found, unfortunately, a bit of the power of this ultimately became lost to me.
This self-improvement guide gave, as the title suggests, 21 mini inspirational speeches on 21 different subjects that prompted the reader to improve their lives in 21 easy steps over just 21 days. Whilst I did find the contents of interest and appreciated both the positive advice and motivational spirit it imparted, I found audio was the wrong format for me to absorb this book in. When it was suggesting alterations I could make in my life I found my attention drifting towards the personal and away from what the narrator was continuing on with saying, meaning I had to double back at quiet a few times over the course of the book and found, unfortunately, a bit of the power of this ultimately became lost to me.
September 19, 2020
I've read quite a few of these self-help books covering the same topics as this one, and this is....well, another one. The author took the tact of creating a kind of "greatest hits" version of a variety of self-help concepts. To pull these ideas together in one book, the concepts are described in short chapters. While I didn't find anything new here, I did appreciated the attempt to organize these concepts. I also appreciated the way the author put effort into creating short descriptions of the concepts and short methods to implement them. You don't always get that in these kinds of books. The anecdotes used were also better than average. Okay for review.
March 17, 2024
Take the time to read this book. It’s really helpful and insightful. Definitely one to come back to. The skills are relatable and practical. Audiobook was really engaging. Take a quiet moment to invest in this book and you’ll not regret it!
March 29, 2018
Dear God, I remember why I stay away from self help books.
August 8, 2020
lots of basic stuff but all well put together without much fluff, very quick read. This should have been a workbook imo. If one did it one day at a time it'd require only 10 minutes a night of reading and 10 minutes introspection/ development.
instead of should say I want to
"...complaining, which is really a form of judgement..."
what do you live for, what do you stand for, your perfect day
write out your existing routines and then mark them up with changes
instead of should say I want to
"...complaining, which is really a form of judgement..."
what do you live for, what do you stand for, your perfect day
write out your existing routines and then mark them up with changes
January 22, 2024
There is some useful thought exercise and a good example of goal break down here but it's mostly just low level rahrah positivity stuff. Gratitude, flexibility, self awareness etc are all valuable but the exercises are tired and the tone preachy. The idea is to be resilient you just have to be a better person. The author should know, she over came elementary school bullying which seems to be the whole qualification she needed to write this.
September 17, 2018
This book was a complete slog. I finished it because I hope to use some of the information for work, but, seriously, skip this if you’re looking to improve your resilience. You Are A Badass by Jen Sincero is so much easier, entertaining, and useful.
First, the writing is abysmal. Are there no editors anymore? The syntax is so off that I thought Montminy was not a native English speaker, though her bio indicates she was born in the US. I’ve also never before had the experience of reading a self-help book written almost as a memoir. She inserted so much of herself into the book and used “I” and “me” so often, once even asking the readers if we’d answered “my questions honestly,” that it was uncomfortable.
Next, the quizzes throughout the book often make no sense. They’ll have an “or” statement, but you need to answer on a Likert scale or with yes or no: “Do you cringe when kids are next to you in an airplane, or do you feel for their parents who have to juggle them on the flight?” This isn’t a great example, but I’ve wasted enough time with the book. Many other quizzes are Likert scales, and you’re told if your answers are on one side or the other, that’s good, but the questions don’t skew that way.
But, what makes the book absolutely pointless is that it’s supposed to be exercises over 21 days of topics, some of which are so redundant that the days need not exist, but I guess she couldn’t use “19 days” because she read somewhere that we build habits in 21 days. Never mind that that stat isn’t accurate for something as complicated as resilience.
Anyway, the book is organized really well, with an exercise to do in the morning, during the day, at night, and then to adopt for life. Nice approach, right? Until you read the book and realize that the exercises are not one-day events and that if you actually try to adopt everything in the book you’ll have to quit your job because you’ll be spending all day every day gazing at your navel as a means to become more resilient.
I wanted to love this book; I wanted to buy it for all my coworkers; I wanted to do small group work with it. Now I just want back all the hours I spent on it.
First, the writing is abysmal. Are there no editors anymore? The syntax is so off that I thought Montminy was not a native English speaker, though her bio indicates she was born in the US. I’ve also never before had the experience of reading a self-help book written almost as a memoir. She inserted so much of herself into the book and used “I” and “me” so often, once even asking the readers if we’d answered “my questions honestly,” that it was uncomfortable.
Next, the quizzes throughout the book often make no sense. They’ll have an “or” statement, but you need to answer on a Likert scale or with yes or no: “Do you cringe when kids are next to you in an airplane, or do you feel for their parents who have to juggle them on the flight?” This isn’t a great example, but I’ve wasted enough time with the book. Many other quizzes are Likert scales, and you’re told if your answers are on one side or the other, that’s good, but the questions don’t skew that way.
But, what makes the book absolutely pointless is that it’s supposed to be exercises over 21 days of topics, some of which are so redundant that the days need not exist, but I guess she couldn’t use “19 days” because she read somewhere that we build habits in 21 days. Never mind that that stat isn’t accurate for something as complicated as resilience.
Anyway, the book is organized really well, with an exercise to do in the morning, during the day, at night, and then to adopt for life. Nice approach, right? Until you read the book and realize that the exercises are not one-day events and that if you actually try to adopt everything in the book you’ll have to quit your job because you’ll be spending all day every day gazing at your navel as a means to become more resilient.
I wanted to love this book; I wanted to buy it for all my coworkers; I wanted to do small group work with it. Now I just want back all the hours I spent on it.
August 11, 2016
Good to read works like this. Find them inspiring. Studies indicate that it takes 21 days of consistent behavior to change a habit. This is the underlying premise of the book's title. The author provides thoughtful ideas about living a mindful compassionate life filled with positivism and gratitude fir what you do have, rather than what you lack. Her presentation is based on current research, including many based on recent brain studies.
The one I liked the most was a study on showing how humans from infancy have propensity to be altruistic. Adults pretended to have lost something, like a key, and the babies automatically joined the search. However, when the adult cavalierly discarded an item and then pretended to be searching for it, amazingly the babies found tell the difference and therefore would not assist.
The one I liked the most was a study on showing how humans from infancy have propensity to be altruistic. Adults pretended to have lost something, like a key, and the babies automatically joined the search. However, when the adult cavalierly discarded an item and then pretended to be searching for it, amazingly the babies found tell the difference and therefore would not assist.
June 18, 2018
I listed to the audio version of this book that I borrowed from my local library. My biggest complaint is that I was unable to download the "enhancements" that were continually referred to which hindered my ability to practice the exercises at the end of each chapter. It would be nice to have had them to either do at a later time after listening at a location that wasn't ideal for writing (car, walking, etc.) or do while listening.
Aside from not being able to get the enhancements, I loved the useful advice in this book. It was easy to listen to and enforced ideals with practical exercises to become a more resilient person.
Aside from not being able to get the enhancements, I loved the useful advice in this book. It was easy to listen to and enforced ideals with practical exercises to become a more resilient person.
January 11, 2019
This is a wonderful book that discusses multiple attributes or qualities for becoming resilient. There is no doubt that everyone will experience hardships, failures, rejections, and obstacles in their lives. We need certain qualities to help us deal with these hardships, failures, rejections, and obstacles. We can learn from all of these experiences and become successful. I agree that we need social support to help us learn from these experience and overcome obstacles. I also agree that gratitude is what we need to become resilient. We need to be grateful for what we have and not what we don't have. Thinking positively and realistically can help us in so many ways.
December 13, 2019
I enjoyed it and I feel that this book helped me a lot. I followed it quite loosely, and read the chapter the night before, so I could start my day with the goal in mind. This got me into reading nightly and spending less time on my phone. I think to try and do every single thing in here in unrealistic; considering that she says "take 1 minute every day" for 20 different topics and I truly could never remember them all or take that time daily.
Tl;dr - definitely benefited, but do it slowly and without high expectations. If you have a faith and are a churchgoer - skip the spirituality day, I found it fluffy and a waste.
Tl;dr - definitely benefited, but do it slowly and without high expectations. If you have a faith and are a churchgoer - skip the spirituality day, I found it fluffy and a waste.
May 20, 2024
If you've read some self help books already, or even just watched enoigh youtube videos on the subject, most of this book wont be new to you. One thing in favour of this book is that it is very, very short, and yet still delivers a surprisingly large amount of actionable steps. They are relatively sensible, so if you are looking for a quick intro to working on your habits of thought and action, this is a nice quick intro. However if you plan on actually implementing all of the steps in 21 days, you may want to set aside at least a half an hour in the morning and evening each day. The advice is short to give but takes awhile to actually reflect on and implement.
February 17, 2018
I love the practicality of this book as Montminy serves as a personal resilience trainer. And since life constantly requires training, (and resilience) her writings should always be on the back burner, so to say. Close at hand so one can easily take a hold of the wisdom Montminy shares.
I can’t wait to read this again!
I can’t wait to read this again!
April 18, 2021
Nice small chapters to make it a manageable daily read. Though for me, it was too basic and anecdotal. Mindfulness for example, deserves much more than 2 pages. A good intro for people who’ve never thought about these topics. I like the daily activities but there was nothing ground breaking in my opinion.
January 11, 2018
Grāmata, kas saliek pa plauktiņiem gudrības, kas ikdienas steigā aizmirsušās. Iesaku tiešām lasīt katru dienu pa vienai nodaļai uz izpildīt uzdevumus- tad var just kā šīs zināmās lietas iespējams izmantot. Patika, viegli lasāma.
January 30, 2019
Weak sauce.
If you’re looking for resilience there are way better books out there. This is a pour distillation of several ways to gain resilience. Might as well read the 21 chapter headings and buy a book related to each one - like Emotional Intelligence, for example.
If you’re looking for resilience there are way better books out there. This is a pour distillation of several ways to gain resilience. Might as well read the 21 chapter headings and buy a book related to each one - like Emotional Intelligence, for example.
March 14, 2021
"Truly resilient people know that a huge part of the process is accepting the bad feelings that come with adversity, not trying to escape them"
Nothing very different to what I've read before, some of it felt superficial
Nothing very different to what I've read before, some of it felt superficial
July 29, 2024
As a strong and resilient woman, the title of this book immediately grabbed my attention. It was a very pleasant, enlightening, and informative read. A lot of people I know can benefit from this book. It is filled with great tips on how to overcome life’s challenges.
October 22, 2024
I did not properly take the 3 weeks to read to book and do all of the exercises listed, but listened quickly for the content. The biggest stand out to was the research of gratitude and resilience, and also posture.
October 30, 2017
Easy to read and good information on research around resilience. The exercises are a good way to start the day and get you thinking about what's important in your life
April 6, 2018
great book, after listening to It I Wil be getting a kindle version because this is a toolbox book... necessary to reference and do the excercises... well worth it.
July 5, 2019
So basic it was a bummer.
January 24, 2020
Simple steps toward a stronger mind. Easy listen.
January 25, 2020
It's an easy read functional book full of meaningful messages with practical guide for readers to establish their resiliency with purpose.
May 14, 2020
This was an interesting book with helpful tips on gratitude and mindfulness. I will try out the ideas on adopting a better posture and monitoring breathing.
September 16, 2021
Short chapters on key topics with daily prompts to improve your resilience.
November 5, 2021
I read a lot of self-help books and I think this is a good one that makes it easy to put the ideas into practice. I listened to it on audio, but wished I had done book version.
March 17, 2022
Good insights and could be valuable for people struggling with everyday life, however it is more of a summary, than deep dive.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 41 reviews