Do you ever get the mystifying urge to revisit the books you ransacked from your mum’s bookshelf in the early 2000s? It’s a pearl-clutching, fascinating experience. The nostalgia hit hard, creating an amusing gap between the quality and the enjoyment.
Let’s be real here: objectively, this is a bad book. But I’ll argue that it works if you embrace its campy, bodice-ripper aesthetic and fully lean into it—ready to throw the back of your hand against your forehead to faint, fall to your knees, and raise your fists to curse your god. You must turn off all thinking skills, OFF, I'm telling you. Follow the protagonist’s example!
Chloe barely forms a coherent thought or emotion, except when swooning over Cheftu’s muscles, leaving you plenty of room to project your own. Her near-total lack of emotional response is probably the most defining thing about her. She travels through time, experiences biblical plagues, and just goes whateves. She’s so blasé about it all that she needs lover boy to explain to her that yes, these are the capital-P Plagues. And even when something is directly stated, she often doesn’t register it until it’s repeated several pages later. She also mistakes a lion cub for a cat, so, you know.
Dense, naive, and of course virginal—because hos are evil.
Cheftu’s entire personality consists of unfounded devotion to Chloe, unfounded devotion to God, and a thick, shiny... chest. How exactly a scholar attains a Viking physique while wandering through the desert and starving remains unclear, but good for him.
Unsurprisingly, their romance is built on lust. Tension relies on a repetitive cycle of miscommunications and mood swings. Until they suddenly declare their undying love. (And for such an intense supposed connection they care shockingly little about getting to know each other). At an equally breakneck pace, they both forgo their relationship to families, friends, and entire time periods. IT'S THE POWER OF LOOOOVE.
There is a plot, but I don’t recommend trying to follow it.. And when things happen, don’t ask why it happened—I tried that once and almost hurt myself in confusion. You either go with the flow or not at all.
That said, if you manage to shut your brain off and embrace it as trashy, star-crossed lovers fare, it can be fun. The setting is nice, the scenery lush, and it has dramatic flair and a certain grandeur to it that is genuinely enjoyable.
For the most part, that’s how it worked out for me. But what noticeably irked me were the ethical and ideological underpinnings. The recurring sexism, racism, and exoticism are uncomfortable. The heavy-handed Christian ideology is grating. And the fact that Chloe—a supposedly modern woman—never once reflects meaningfully on the horrors around her (slavery, child prostitution) is downright offensive. The book wants to be brain fluff, which is fine—but some things should not go uncommented.
Evidently it's a mess. You gotta trust in the power of abs. Or, you know, don't, and read something with actual substance