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Capturing Miss Bennet's Heart: A Pride & Prejudice Variation
Whilst staying with her uncle and aunt in London, Elizabeth Bennet is both surprised and happy by the announcement of her dear sister Jane’s engagement to Meryton’s handsome new arrival Charles Bingley. The engagement to be quick, Elizabeth’s stay in London is cut short. She is needed in Longbourn! Plus Elizabeth must meet Jane’s fiancé before the big day.
Upset to read of her friend Charlotte Lucas’ snub by Charles Bingley’s reserved friend Fitzwilliam Darcy at the Meryton assembly, Elizabeth resolves not to like ‘this Mr Darcy’, and this is her resolution on leaving London.
That said, sometimes resolutions are hard to stick by, especially so when one resolves never to fall in love ...
Upset to read of her friend Charlotte Lucas’ snub by Charles Bingley’s reserved friend Fitzwilliam Darcy at the Meryton assembly, Elizabeth resolves not to like ‘this Mr Darcy’, and this is her resolution on leaving London.
That said, sometimes resolutions are hard to stick by, especially so when one resolves never to fall in love ...
170 pages, Kindle Edition
Published April 22, 2016
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36 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 19 of 19 reviews
April 25, 2016
I purchased this book when I saw the limited launch price and the intriguing summary. In this story, Elizabeth does not meet Mr. Darcy at the assembly as she was in London with her aunt and uncle. Mr. Darcy ends up slighting Charlotte, and Elizabeth judges him for it before she even meets him. When Mr. Bingley proposes to Jane, Elizabeth and the Gardiners go to Hertfordshire and it is only then Darcy and Elizabeth meet.
I tried my best to finish this book, but the grammatical errors and the characters' uncharacteristic traits were too much for me. Women swore, there was a long conversation about ragout, and Elizabeth calls Mr. Darcy in her narration as "Fitzwilliam". I couldn't finish it. This book badly needs editing.
I tried my best to finish this book, but the grammatical errors and the characters' uncharacteristic traits were too much for me. Women swore, there was a long conversation about ragout, and Elizabeth calls Mr. Darcy in her narration as "Fitzwilliam". I couldn't finish it. This book badly needs editing.
April 30, 2016
Dear Ms. Sheldon,
It is with great reluctance that I give a review about book that I didn't like to a first time author. Your story had potential but the execution left alot to be desired. You were brave to put yourself out there but would recommend proofreaders and one knowledgeable in editing for future endeavors.
I found the book rambling and thought I was reading a script in some parts. At times, I felt the writing too modern. I cannot imagine Elizabeth using swear words, mild ones at that, to voice her displeasure. Conflicts were minimal and dealt with too quickly. Some issues were never resolved when the story ended so abruptly. Yes, Darcy and Elizabeth had their HEA but what about Kitty's heartbreak, Lydia and Caroline?
Unfortunately, I cannot recommend this book.
It is with great reluctance that I give a review about book that I didn't like to a first time author. Your story had potential but the execution left alot to be desired. You were brave to put yourself out there but would recommend proofreaders and one knowledgeable in editing for future endeavors.
I found the book rambling and thought I was reading a script in some parts. At times, I felt the writing too modern. I cannot imagine Elizabeth using swear words, mild ones at that, to voice her displeasure. Conflicts were minimal and dealt with too quickly. Some issues were never resolved when the story ended so abruptly. Yes, Darcy and Elizabeth had their HEA but what about Kitty's heartbreak, Lydia and Caroline?
Unfortunately, I cannot recommend this book.
April 24, 2016
The premise here is different and has the potential to be a really good book. Unfortunately, the execution falls far short of matching the promising storyline.
Elizabeth, visiting her Aunt and Uncle Gardiner in London, receives word that her sister Jane has become engaged to Mr. Bingley, a gentleman who recently moved into Netherfield that Elizabeth has never met. When she returns home, she is introduced to Bingley, his two sisters, his brother-in-law Mr. Hurst, and his friend, Mr. Darcy. Despite Elizabeth's preconceived misgivings about Mr. Darcy based on what she's heard about his haughty behavior in Meryton, she almost immediately warms to him. Unlike most characterizations of Darcy, he becomes more outgoing in her presence rather than tongue-tied and doesn't fight too hard against his attraction to her. By the time he leaves Netherfield (after Bingley and Jane marry), he has paid enough attention to Elizabeth for local rumors of their pending engagement to rise. Mr. Wickham hears this and, after a few weeks of flirting with two of the Bennet sisters, becomes engaged to one of them before the regiment heads to Brighton- but not with whom you might expect.
Elizabeth goes to Hunsford with her father to visit the newly married Mr. and Mrs. Collins. Not surprisingly, Lady Catherine finds Mr. Bennet disrespectful and impertinent. I would have enjoyed seeing more interplay between those two; that combo had a lot of humorous potential that was never fully developed. Elizabeth and Darcy reconnect and share a kiss, but they also argue. Darcy leaves Rosings early with things unresolved between them.
The story proceeds from there to the inevitable HEA. The shocking news from Brighton is of a similar nature to the original but has radically reduced consequences for the Bennets. In fact, there's very little drama throughout the book. Just as Bingley and Jane's relationship proceeds without major hurdles (aside from the unpleasant but unusually subdued Bingley sisters), Wickham's involvement with the Darcy and Bennet families produces only minimal difficulty for the relationship between Darcy and Elizabeth. We find no conflict, no antagonist, no big misunderstanding (only a small one that's not particularly daunting). and therefore no recognizable turning point or climax.
The writing itself needs a great deal of work, with grammatical errors galore on virtually every page. It lacks proper punctuation, especially commas, making some sentences confusing and other incomprehensible. Sentence fragments appear everywhere. The author has made the difficult choice of writing this in present tense but isn't consistent. This produces results such as: "Likewise Fitzwilliam Darcy was much discussed and the subject of Charles' reserved friend is digested on the way to Netherfield, everyone having much to say." The best prose to be found are in those passages lifted directly from Pride and Prejudice, which create a stark contrast to the author's own words surrounding them.
I don't know if this originally appeared on a fan fiction site, but it should not have been published for purchase in this very amateurish form.
Elizabeth, visiting her Aunt and Uncle Gardiner in London, receives word that her sister Jane has become engaged to Mr. Bingley, a gentleman who recently moved into Netherfield that Elizabeth has never met. When she returns home, she is introduced to Bingley, his two sisters, his brother-in-law Mr. Hurst, and his friend, Mr. Darcy. Despite Elizabeth's preconceived misgivings about Mr. Darcy based on what she's heard about his haughty behavior in Meryton, she almost immediately warms to him. Unlike most characterizations of Darcy, he becomes more outgoing in her presence rather than tongue-tied and doesn't fight too hard against his attraction to her. By the time he leaves Netherfield (after Bingley and Jane marry), he has paid enough attention to Elizabeth for local rumors of their pending engagement to rise. Mr. Wickham hears this and, after a few weeks of flirting with two of the Bennet sisters, becomes engaged to one of them before the regiment heads to Brighton- but not with whom you might expect.
Elizabeth goes to Hunsford with her father to visit the newly married Mr. and Mrs. Collins. Not surprisingly, Lady Catherine finds Mr. Bennet disrespectful and impertinent. I would have enjoyed seeing more interplay between those two; that combo had a lot of humorous potential that was never fully developed. Elizabeth and Darcy reconnect and share a kiss, but they also argue. Darcy leaves Rosings early with things unresolved between them.
The story proceeds from there to the inevitable HEA. The shocking news from Brighton is of a similar nature to the original but has radically reduced consequences for the Bennets. In fact, there's very little drama throughout the book. Just as Bingley and Jane's relationship proceeds without major hurdles (aside from the unpleasant but unusually subdued Bingley sisters), Wickham's involvement with the Darcy and Bennet families produces only minimal difficulty for the relationship between Darcy and Elizabeth. We find no conflict, no antagonist, no big misunderstanding (only a small one that's not particularly daunting). and therefore no recognizable turning point or climax.
The writing itself needs a great deal of work, with grammatical errors galore on virtually every page. It lacks proper punctuation, especially commas, making some sentences confusing and other incomprehensible. Sentence fragments appear everywhere. The author has made the difficult choice of writing this in present tense but isn't consistent. This produces results such as: "Likewise Fitzwilliam Darcy was much discussed and the subject of Charles' reserved friend is digested on the way to Netherfield, everyone having much to say." The best prose to be found are in those passages lifted directly from Pride and Prejudice, which create a stark contrast to the author's own words surrounding them.
I don't know if this originally appeared on a fan fiction site, but it should not have been published for purchase in this very amateurish form.
March 13, 2018
With Elizabeth Bennet visiting the Gardiners while Darcy insults Charlotte at the Meryton Assembley she is not predisposed to dislike him. She returns to Longbourn early to attend the wedding of Jane and Charles Bingley.
I admit to losing any interest in the story when Mary Bennet became engaged to Collins. I also disliked the use of the present tense, and the tendency to call Darcy Fitzwilliam, confusing when Darcy and the Colonel were at Rosings.
Basically a straightforward romance which is of little interest to me.
I admit to losing any interest in the story when Mary Bennet became engaged to Collins. I also disliked the use of the present tense, and the tendency to call Darcy Fitzwilliam, confusing when Darcy and the Colonel were at Rosings.
Basically a straightforward romance which is of little interest to me.
April 28, 2016
Good storyline, poor editing and grammar
I wish the author had asked for help with this work. The storyline is a great idea. Unfortunately the grammar is often poor, the wording adolescent, and the editing sloppy. A rewrite would set it to rights.
I wish the author had asked for help with this work. The storyline is a great idea. Unfortunately the grammar is often poor, the wording adolescent, and the editing sloppy. A rewrite would set it to rights.
December 1, 2018
Un what'if qui part du postulat que Darcy ne s'est jamais interposé entre Jane et Bingley et où sa première rencontre avec Elizabeth a lieu lors du mariage... La fameuse remarque du " tolérable" est faite à Charlotte lors d'un bal auquel Lizzy n'assiste pas ce qui fait que les deux héros se rencontrent sans qu'il y ait le moindre "passif" entre eux... Au delà de ça, le mariage de Jane bouleverse pas mal de choses... Dans cette version, Collins épouse Mary (bon je suis assez d'accord avec ça, j'ai toujours trouvé qu'ils étaient parfaitement assortis), Wickham demande Kitty en mariage ( ???) , Lizzy n'est absolument pas intéressée par Wickham et Lydia ne va jamais à Brighton ... La visite de Rosing se fait avec Mr Bennet et au lieu d'une pitoyable demande en mariage, Darcy et Lizzy s'embrassent avant de se séparer sur un léger malentendu... Par la suite, quand Elizabeth se rend à Pemberley c'est avec Charles, Jane et Caroline et c'est bien le but de leur voyage. Elle sait déjà qu'elle aime Darcy et lui sait déjà qu'il l'aime sans réserves... Lydia ne fugue jamais mais Wickham rompt ses fiançailles avec Kitty pour s'enfuir avec Miss King... ce qui arrange bien Darcy qui avait du mal avec le fait d'avoir Wickham comme beau frère , plus aucun obstacle pour nos héros ! ( Dommage pour notre Kitty, mais elle n'est pas si malheureuse hein). Au final, l'auteure transforme Orgueil et Préjugés en un roman à l'eau de rose digne de figurer dans la collection Harlequin (sans offense hein, j'aime les romances Harlequin mais il faut admettre que Orgueil et Préjugés, à la base c'est un peu plus que celà et c'est aussi une réflexion sur la société victorienne) . Donc le tout manque de saveur et de piquant ce qui est dommage. Certes l'auteure réutilise les dialogues de Jane Austen mais le tout tombe à plat assez vite tant la relation entre Darcy et Lizzy manque de tension dramatique
Ce que j'aime : le fait de marier Mary et Collins, j'ai toujours aimé ce match
Ce que j'aime moins : le manque de tension dramatique entre Lizzy et Darcy
En bref : Un what's if qui transforme Orgueil et Préjugés en une romance à l'eau de rose sans la moindre saveur
Ma note
3,5/10
Ce que j'aime : le fait de marier Mary et Collins, j'ai toujours aimé ce match
Ce que j'aime moins : le manque de tension dramatique entre Lizzy et Darcy
En bref : Un what's if qui transforme Orgueil et Préjugés en une romance à l'eau de rose sans la moindre saveur
Ma note
3,5/10
October 7, 2022
DNF
This is one of the very few books I've opened in the last thirty years that I did not push myself to finish, I even read BURR, for goodness sake. And now I understand why other readers were displeased...the use of i.e? The writing of scenes as if it was a play and steps to be taken by persons? The plot underneath is relatively interesting, but the way it is presented is without a fluid line for the characters around the story they are designed to be a part of. I gave it three stars for a plot that was interesting enough to keep me through 49%, but I could not go further.
This is one of the very few books I've opened in the last thirty years that I did not push myself to finish, I even read BURR, for goodness sake. And now I understand why other readers were displeased...the use of i.e? The writing of scenes as if it was a play and steps to be taken by persons? The plot underneath is relatively interesting, but the way it is presented is without a fluid line for the characters around the story they are designed to be a part of. I gave it three stars for a plot that was interesting enough to keep me through 49%, but I could not go further.
December 4, 2017
Delightful but could of been more....
I thought this story was nice... Barely any angst, you can sense the attraction between our dear couple. I enjoyed Mr. Bennet in this variation. I didn't care for the ending. Wanted to read about Caroline's disappointed hopes and Lady Catherine's disapproving mannerisms.
I thought this story was nice... Barely any angst, you can sense the attraction between our dear couple. I enjoyed Mr. Bennet in this variation. I didn't care for the ending. Wanted to read about Caroline's disappointed hopes and Lady Catherine's disapproving mannerisms.
May 13, 2017
really good story but I believe there has not been any editing. Punctuation is totally missing, there are typos as well.
September 28, 2017
Rather lifeless.
May 29, 2016
This is not the worst JAFF title I have ever read -it is the second worst. The author of the worst could be partially forgiven because it was fairly clear English was not their first language and the ideas underlying the story were excellent. This title, unfortunately,has no such excuses. According to her bio,the author appears to be English and their is absolutely no evidence of any coherent ideas at all. Grammar and punctuation are erratic.
The language used is a curious mix. First of all, like another reviewer, I must comment on the use of 'Christ' as an expletive, from Lizzy when told she may be the target of the attentions of Mr Collins. This occurs as early as Chapter 4 and stopped me dead in my tracks - this is entirely inappropriate use of language in the context of this book. Even though she is addressing her closest female friend, on a subject which today would likely elicit this response, it is totally,totally unacceptable here. There are other examples of this kind of anachronism but this is by far the worst. I also guess that the author is fairly young, because oddly Americanisms creep into the text despite her alleged British background (eg saying that Jane is excited FOR her wedding) - although this could be deliberate as the audience is mainly American.
Other than this,the story is simply boring. The author does make some changes to the original plot (the marriage of Mr Collins, Jane and Bingley already engaged at the beginning) but they certainly do not improve it. She also makes the very basic error of using some of the original text to supplement her own. This is a huge mistake,partly because it highlights the inadequacy of her own writing and partly because she inserts Austen almost at random meaning the original thrust is quite lost.
I hate to leave such a negative review but in all honesty there is nothing good to say about this book - sorry :(
The language used is a curious mix. First of all, like another reviewer, I must comment on the use of 'Christ' as an expletive, from Lizzy when told she may be the target of the attentions of Mr Collins. This occurs as early as Chapter 4 and stopped me dead in my tracks - this is entirely inappropriate use of language in the context of this book. Even though she is addressing her closest female friend, on a subject which today would likely elicit this response, it is totally,totally unacceptable here. There are other examples of this kind of anachronism but this is by far the worst. I also guess that the author is fairly young, because oddly Americanisms creep into the text despite her alleged British background (eg saying that Jane is excited FOR her wedding) - although this could be deliberate as the audience is mainly American.
Other than this,the story is simply boring. The author does make some changes to the original plot (the marriage of Mr Collins, Jane and Bingley already engaged at the beginning) but they certainly do not improve it. She also makes the very basic error of using some of the original text to supplement her own. This is a huge mistake,partly because it highlights the inadequacy of her own writing and partly because she inserts Austen almost at random meaning the original thrust is quite lost.
I hate to leave such a negative review but in all honesty there is nothing good to say about this book - sorry :(
June 19, 2016
Will someone call for an editor or a doctor… this work has suffered enough: 1-star
Somewhere in the depths of this… treatment, WIP [work in progress], or whatever you want to call it, there was a genuine store. As I struggled through the chapters, I managed to find a kernel of a plot. The characters were shallow and under-developed. I resented Elizabeth coming across like Lydia at times. Elizabeth does not squeal…ever. Plus, she came across as snarky instead of witty.
There was sufficient angst for our lovers to keep the story moving along as they worked toward the HEA. I found some of the drama stifled and contrived. There was a juxtaposition of characters and dialogue that was different and interesting. The time and delivery of our favorite P&P dialogue and who said it and when was really unusual. Another thing this author attempted was to mix and match the different characters. The mix-up was different and I will give the author credit for attempting it as it was a bold move.
Having said all the above…the author missed a great opportunity to provide a respectable piece of JAFF that could have been enjoyed. Instead, credibility is now in question as I am not sure I will look at this author again. I have decided one thing… I will NEVER preorder another book on an unknown author. What was I thinking…perhaps I was lured by the $0.99 cost?
There is no need for me to list the errors and grievous mistakes as the other reviewers have done an excellent job of doing just that. So… buyers beware.
Somewhere in the depths of this… treatment, WIP [work in progress], or whatever you want to call it, there was a genuine store. As I struggled through the chapters, I managed to find a kernel of a plot. The characters were shallow and under-developed. I resented Elizabeth coming across like Lydia at times. Elizabeth does not squeal…ever. Plus, she came across as snarky instead of witty.
There was sufficient angst for our lovers to keep the story moving along as they worked toward the HEA. I found some of the drama stifled and contrived. There was a juxtaposition of characters and dialogue that was different and interesting. The time and delivery of our favorite P&P dialogue and who said it and when was really unusual. Another thing this author attempted was to mix and match the different characters. The mix-up was different and I will give the author credit for attempting it as it was a bold move.
Having said all the above…the author missed a great opportunity to provide a respectable piece of JAFF that could have been enjoyed. Instead, credibility is now in question as I am not sure I will look at this author again. I have decided one thing… I will NEVER preorder another book on an unknown author. What was I thinking…perhaps I was lured by the $0.99 cost?
There is no need for me to list the errors and grievous mistakes as the other reviewers have done an excellent job of doing just that. So… buyers beware.
August 27, 2017
Good Story Appallingly Written 2 1/2 Stars
The storyline is nice and the few sentences without errors are great, unfortunately, they are few! Interestingly, Esme Sheldon quotes a poet that had been studied. How much studying was done? The English grammar is appalling! Some sentences are truly indecipherable! Others after several reads and the mental addition of a comma or two, become understandable. It is actually a shame. If Esme had hired an editor this could be a very nice read. If she also learned how to express herself without cursing so often it would be even better. I am amazed that someone who attempts to write regency literature finds it necessary to resort to profanity. Was that really how one expressed dismay back then? I have been taught that those who have some education can express anger, hostility, and every other emotion without the use of expletives... a good thesaurus would help if stumped.
The storyline is nice and the few sentences without errors are great, unfortunately, they are few! Interestingly, Esme Sheldon quotes a poet that had been studied. How much studying was done? The English grammar is appalling! Some sentences are truly indecipherable! Others after several reads and the mental addition of a comma or two, become understandable. It is actually a shame. If Esme had hired an editor this could be a very nice read. If she also learned how to express herself without cursing so often it would be even better. I am amazed that someone who attempts to write regency literature finds it necessary to resort to profanity. Was that really how one expressed dismay back then? I have been taught that those who have some education can express anger, hostility, and every other emotion without the use of expletives... a good thesaurus would help if stumped.
July 19, 2016
One of the Worst
I couldn't find anything to like in this book. I wasn't sure what person the book was written in, as the author stated what the person was thinking before they expressed themselves, which didn't allow for interpretation of the words and frankly I found it irritating.
Also there were too many Americanisms in the book, for example Lady Catherine de Bourgh would never have said the word 'gotten'.
Add that to the many typos.
But what to my mind was worst, was the fact that the key parts of Pride and Prejudice were changed such as the letter and George Wickham eloping with Lydia.
Not one of the better variations.
I couldn't find anything to like in this book. I wasn't sure what person the book was written in, as the author stated what the person was thinking before they expressed themselves, which didn't allow for interpretation of the words and frankly I found it irritating.
Also there were too many Americanisms in the book, for example Lady Catherine de Bourgh would never have said the word 'gotten'.
Add that to the many typos.
But what to my mind was worst, was the fact that the key parts of Pride and Prejudice were changed such as the letter and George Wickham eloping with Lydia.
Not one of the better variations.
April 23, 2016
Don't just look at the grammar and punctuation
This book was rated poorly by several people looking at the punctuation and the grammar.
I thought the story was great something new and different. The story didn't dwell on the bad guys and Mr Gardener was not an attorney, but give the author a chance
If your going to dwell on the punctuation don't read this book or anything else because you won't enjoy it.
This book was rated poorly by several people looking at the punctuation and the grammar.
I thought the story was great something new and different. The story didn't dwell on the bad guys and Mr Gardener was not an attorney, but give the author a chance
If your going to dwell on the punctuation don't read this book or anything else because you won't enjoy it.
May 8, 2016
Oh dear
I actually didn't read past chapter three. No matter how interesting the story might have proved to be in the rest of the book I found the author's style of writing in the present tense did not suit me.
I actually didn't read past chapter three. No matter how interesting the story might have proved to be in the rest of the book I found the author's style of writing in the present tense did not suit me.
April 22, 2016
I wanted to like this book but it read like it was written in bullet point. I could only get past page 20. I'm writing this as I rely on others to give honest reviews of books as well.
April 28, 2016
Impossible to read
I couldn't make it to 10%. This story needs a great editor before it's intelligible. I wanted to like it due to the premise, very disappointed.
I couldn't make it to 10%. This story needs a great editor before it's intelligible. I wanted to like it due to the premise, very disappointed.
January 26, 2018
This was sweet but a little bland for my taste.
I prefer something to pull on my heart strings in form of romance, passion or angst which this story lacked.
Felt compelled to speed read a lot and that is hardly a good sign...
It feels like the writer didn't have a strong sense of what she wanted the novel to communicate.
The novel partially follows Canon with some differences. Lizzy is in London when Netherfield are let. She comes home for Jane and Bingley's wedding and meets Mr Darcy. Charlotte is the resipient of the insult at the assembly and has told Elizabeth in a letter. Elizabeth has a poor opinion of Darcy because of the way he spoke about Charlotte but light and easy banter at their first meeting makes her more positive towards him. The next 90 , feels like stalling the inevitable.
Might be worth mentioning that Elizabeth in this novel does not believe Wickham (and that Caroline has a very small part.) That does not prohibit Darcy and Elizabeth quarrelling about him at Hunsford.
This will not be on my reread list.
I prefer something to pull on my heart strings in form of romance, passion or angst which this story lacked.
Felt compelled to speed read a lot and that is hardly a good sign...
It feels like the writer didn't have a strong sense of what she wanted the novel to communicate.
The novel partially follows Canon with some differences. Lizzy is in London when Netherfield are let. She comes home for Jane and Bingley's wedding and meets Mr Darcy. Charlotte is the resipient of the insult at the assembly and has told Elizabeth in a letter. Elizabeth has a poor opinion of Darcy because of the way he spoke about Charlotte but light and easy banter at their first meeting makes her more positive towards him. The next 90 , feels like stalling the inevitable.
Might be worth mentioning that Elizabeth in this novel does not believe Wickham (and that Caroline has a very small part.) That does not prohibit Darcy and Elizabeth quarrelling about him at Hunsford.
This will not be on my reread list.
Displaying 1 - 19 of 19 reviews