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Spy Stuff
Anton never thought anyone would ever want to date him. Everyone knows nobody wants a transgender boyfriend, right? So he's as shocked as anyone when seemingly-straight Jude Kalinowski asks him out, and doesn't appear to be joking.
The only problem is ... well, Jude doesn't actually know.
Anton can see how this will play out: Jude is a nice guy, and nice guys finish last. And Anton is transgender, and transgender people don't get happy endings. If he tells Jude, it might destroy everything.
And if Jude tells anyone else ... it will.
The only problem is ... well, Jude doesn't actually know.
Anton can see how this will play out: Jude is a nice guy, and nice guys finish last. And Anton is transgender, and transgender people don't get happy endings. If he tells Jude, it might destroy everything.
And if Jude tells anyone else ... it will.
228 pages, Paperback
First published April 30, 2016
20 people are currently reading
1843 people want to read
About the author
Matthew J. Metzger
34 books351 followersMatthew is an asexual, transgender author from the wet and windy British Isles.
Matt writes LGBT novels, both adult and young adult, and particularly enjoys digging into the weird and wonderful diversity of people all across the sexuality and gender spectrums. When not writing, Matt is usually asleep, or crunching numbers at his day job. Free time is not really a concept here.
He is also owned by an enormous black cat. Approach with caution.
Matt writes LGBT novels, both adult and young adult, and particularly enjoys digging into the weird and wonderful diversity of people all across the sexuality and gender spectrums. When not writing, Matt is usually asleep, or crunching numbers at his day job. Free time is not really a concept here.
He is also owned by an enormous black cat. Approach with caution.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 162 reviews
January 27, 2020
A very good YA book which introduces readers to a gay F2M transgender boy who is appealing, not too angsty but realistic in emotions, and fun to watch. Anton has changed schools, after being bullied for his transitioning at his old school. In this new one, he has registered as a boy, and although a couple of the faculty know he's trans, he is otherwise not out.
His new classmates are an interesting bunch, open and rowdy, but mostly not mean and their teasing doesn't have a deep bite. But he's not sure if that would change if his secret were revealed. When a teacher begins the term by talking about a project on identity and labels he's a bit freaked out. He loves being one of the boys, no different from the rest. The last thing he wants is for all his labels to be revealed. And yet, he's still just 15, too young under the health system for hormones and surgery and the other physical changes he's eager for. And he can't help wondering what his new friends will do or say, if they spot his binder, or figure out why he changes for PE in a single staff bathroom.
On top of his worries about a new school, he has his first deep crush on one of the guys at school. Jude is kind and funny, physically affectionate with his friends, and straight. Or is he? How much can Anton read into a smile or an arm flung across his shoulders? And if Jude did fancy him, how could it go anywhere when his body under the binder still betrays him, and his divorced father still descends on him weekly insisting he's a girl and calling him by his dead name?
Written by a trans author, this book has an authenticity and tone that nicely balances between the poles of emotion and information. Anton is a good character. Jude, despite being a bit too good to be true, is a great one. And the secondary characters are fun, the banter is realistic, and the adults are nuanced. I've enjoyed other books by this author (Vivaldi in the Dark is one of my favorite gay YA books, and his adult stories are also well done.) I'm delighted to see him add this story to the ranks of LGBTQ YA books.
His new classmates are an interesting bunch, open and rowdy, but mostly not mean and their teasing doesn't have a deep bite. But he's not sure if that would change if his secret were revealed. When a teacher begins the term by talking about a project on identity and labels he's a bit freaked out. He loves being one of the boys, no different from the rest. The last thing he wants is for all his labels to be revealed. And yet, he's still just 15, too young under the health system for hormones and surgery and the other physical changes he's eager for. And he can't help wondering what his new friends will do or say, if they spot his binder, or figure out why he changes for PE in a single staff bathroom.
On top of his worries about a new school, he has his first deep crush on one of the guys at school. Jude is kind and funny, physically affectionate with his friends, and straight. Or is he? How much can Anton read into a smile or an arm flung across his shoulders? And if Jude did fancy him, how could it go anywhere when his body under the binder still betrays him, and his divorced father still descends on him weekly insisting he's a girl and calling him by his dead name?
Written by a trans author, this book has an authenticity and tone that nicely balances between the poles of emotion and information. Anton is a good character. Jude, despite being a bit too good to be true, is a great one. And the secondary characters are fun, the banter is realistic, and the adults are nuanced. I've enjoyed other books by this author (Vivaldi in the Dark is one of my favorite gay YA books, and his adult stories are also well done.) I'm delighted to see him add this story to the ranks of LGBTQ YA books.
October 13, 2016
2.5*
Half-hearted.
I’m sorry to say I can’t get rid of the impression this is done halfway.
I was all the time “Yes, but no”.
“Okay, but not really”.
“No, but whatever”.
I wanted to be dazzled with all my being but I couldn’t. I was starstruck by What it Looks Like (WILL for friends), so I know what this author is able to do. I know he has the power to put me on my knees and make me plea. He has done it before.
So it was no wonder I expected fireworks here, too.
But there were none.
I’m even brave enough to say this is closer to the “mehness” than I’m comfortable with.
How the hell did that happen?
Well, my biggest problem is Jude. He doesn’t work for me. He’s so perfect, so mature, so confident, so upstanding… That kind of integrity takes years to achieve, years to say “I don’t care what people think of me because I’m happy with myself and what I want”.
All the friends are so honest and loyal, no inner conflicts whatsoever, no real teenager bullshit or stupid bravado or insecurities that can challenge oneself’s utter beliefs. They were all sweet as pies and awesome and true. I mean, I’d love to have them all as friends, from the goofy guy to the grumpy and suspicious one, but they are 15 years old and sounded as if they were 30 (or more).
I had to suspend disbelief for most of the book.
Of course, I’m generalizing. Of course, there are exceptions. But this “exception” in particular was not believable for me.
I would expect these teens to be like the asshole who picks on Anton endlessly. I would expect easier to find many more of those who simply vacuum seal.
But Anton comes to school and he has loads of BFF in the first week, just like that.
It’s true that he disguises himself as a boy, and nobody is the wiser. So nobody thinks he’s a freak, as people in his other school used to think.
The father is so OTT-ishly one-dimentional. He was grating on my nerves but not because he’s an asshole, but because he’s too forced, IMO. I personally believe parental issues were better displayed in WILL.
The transgender reality was supposed to be the special asset of this story, but it felt decaffeinated and dull. Do not misunderstand me, I’m glad of the insight, of Anton living with this reality about himself, with learning to live with himself and his relationships and his sexuality. I loved all of that. So that’s why I’m shocked that I was feeling something close to… disappointment? Frustration? Somehow it didn’t live up to my expectations. Somehow I felt there was more to it that should have been conveyed. Somehow I wanted more, but not because I lost my marbles because of it and wanted to revel in it for a few more pages, but because the parts I was given didn’t live up to their whole potential.
It was a little of a miss for me.
I think my problem was not the transgender aspect per se, but the romantic/sexual one. The relationship is… off.
Labels. The project at school is so… convenient and opportune. Perfect chance to discuss the topic and see how open-minded and solidly cool these teenagers are. Pretentious. I felt I was sitting in a classroom myself, being taught how to respect people because they are just people. I got it crystal clear, shall we get to the next issue, miss?
I laugh at this but the people I liked the most here were the teachers. Both women, they were great. They don’t even talk that much in the whole book, but their presence is larger than life. Bonus.
What a pity. Maybe I had too great expectations after WILL.
So, not a bad one, but it didn’t rock my world.
Half-hearted.
I’m sorry to say I can’t get rid of the impression this is done halfway.
I was all the time “Yes, but no”.
“Okay, but not really”.
“No, but whatever”.
I wanted to be dazzled with all my being but I couldn’t. I was starstruck by What it Looks Like (WILL for friends), so I know what this author is able to do. I know he has the power to put me on my knees and make me plea. He has done it before.
So it was no wonder I expected fireworks here, too.
But there were none.
I’m even brave enough to say this is closer to the “mehness” than I’m comfortable with.
How the hell did that happen?
Well, my biggest problem is Jude. He doesn’t work for me. He’s so perfect, so mature, so confident, so upstanding… That kind of integrity takes years to achieve, years to say “I don’t care what people think of me because I’m happy with myself and what I want”.
All the friends are so honest and loyal, no inner conflicts whatsoever, no real teenager bullshit or stupid bravado or insecurities that can challenge oneself’s utter beliefs. They were all sweet as pies and awesome and true. I mean, I’d love to have them all as friends, from the goofy guy to the grumpy and suspicious one, but they are 15 years old and sounded as if they were 30 (or more).
I had to suspend disbelief for most of the book.
Of course, I’m generalizing. Of course, there are exceptions. But this “exception” in particular was not believable for me.
I would expect these teens to be like the asshole who picks on Anton endlessly. I would expect easier to find many more of those who simply vacuum seal.
But Anton comes to school and he has loads of BFF in the first week, just like that.
It’s true that he disguises himself as a boy, and nobody is the wiser. So nobody thinks he’s a freak, as people in his other school used to think.
The father is so OTT-ishly one-dimentional. He was grating on my nerves but not because he’s an asshole, but because he’s too forced, IMO. I personally believe parental issues were better displayed in WILL.
The transgender reality was supposed to be the special asset of this story, but it felt decaffeinated and dull. Do not misunderstand me, I’m glad of the insight, of Anton living with this reality about himself, with learning to live with himself and his relationships and his sexuality. I loved all of that. So that’s why I’m shocked that I was feeling something close to… disappointment? Frustration? Somehow it didn’t live up to my expectations. Somehow I felt there was more to it that should have been conveyed. Somehow I wanted more, but not because I lost my marbles because of it and wanted to revel in it for a few more pages, but because the parts I was given didn’t live up to their whole potential.
It was a little of a miss for me.
I think my problem was not the transgender aspect per se, but the romantic/sexual one. The relationship is… off.
Labels. The project at school is so… convenient and opportune. Perfect chance to discuss the topic and see how open-minded and solidly cool these teenagers are. Pretentious. I felt I was sitting in a classroom myself, being taught how to respect people because they are just people. I got it crystal clear, shall we get to the next issue, miss?
I laugh at this but the people I liked the most here were the teachers. Both women, they were great. They don’t even talk that much in the whole book, but their presence is larger than life. Bonus.
What a pity. Maybe I had too great expectations after WILL.
So, not a bad one, but it didn’t rock my world.
June 26, 2016
Absolutely loved this story. I was glued from the first page. I adored Anton and Jude. The way their relationship unfolds is the sweetest <3
From the cover and the title I wasn't sure what to expect, but if you like YA and you want a read that will make your heart big and have you smiling ear to ear, this is the book for you.
More people need to read this for sure. Recommended.
From the cover and the title I wasn't sure what to expect, but if you like YA and you want a read that will make your heart big and have you smiling ear to ear, this is the book for you.
More people need to read this for sure. Recommended.
August 23, 2016
4.5 stars
YA + transgender + sweet romance
This book begins with 15-year old Anton's first day at a new school. Bullying forced him out of his old one and he's very happy to make a fresh start where people will know him just as a boy. He realizes immediately that his new school is not quite like his old one as he's welcomed right away into a new circle of friends, including Jude. Oh Jude. Jude's the too-nice boy with the big smile. The boy who's always been straight.
Anton and Jude become closer friends and then, all of a sudden, Jude is asking Anton out on a date. The story follows their developing romance through first dates and other fumbling firsts. But the closer they become, the more pressure Anton feels to be completely honest with Jude.
One of the themes in this book is labels. How important labels are, but yet how everyone is so much more than just what their label is. Anton is transgender, but he's also so much more than that. This is also, I think, about how people might share the same label but experience things differently. This is Anton's experience of being a transgender boy.
I loved seeing the world from the perspective of a transgender boy navigating high school and first love. Anton's story felt very authentic to me, including his family life. He has a hugely supportive mom and aunt. His dad, however, is a much different story. He refuses to recognize Anton as transgender and won't call him anything but Natasha. In fact, his parent's marriage had fallen apart soon after Anton's transition to a boy. This felt very real to me. I actually feel like I learned a lot about being transgender from this book, but the great thing about the author's style is that it never seems preachy or didactic.
The romance was so very cute. I adored Jude (well, he's freaking adorable) and was so happy that he fell for Anton. It was a romance that was on the sweet side. But these are 15-year old boys, they think about sex a lot and they do become intimate. This felt very realistic for their ages although it was done off-page which, IMO, was appropriate to the story.
I'd really recommend this to anyone who enjoys YA romance and who'd love to read a story from the perspective of a transgender MC.
YA + transgender + sweet romance
This book begins with 15-year old Anton's first day at a new school. Bullying forced him out of his old one and he's very happy to make a fresh start where people will know him just as a boy. He realizes immediately that his new school is not quite like his old one as he's welcomed right away into a new circle of friends, including Jude. Oh Jude. Jude's the too-nice boy with the big smile. The boy who's always been straight.
Anton and Jude become closer friends and then, all of a sudden, Jude is asking Anton out on a date. The story follows their developing romance through first dates and other fumbling firsts. But the closer they become, the more pressure Anton feels to be completely honest with Jude.
One of the themes in this book is labels. How important labels are, but yet how everyone is so much more than just what their label is. Anton is transgender, but he's also so much more than that. This is also, I think, about how people might share the same label but experience things differently. This is Anton's experience of being a transgender boy.
I loved seeing the world from the perspective of a transgender boy navigating high school and first love. Anton's story felt very authentic to me, including his family life. He has a hugely supportive mom and aunt. His dad, however, is a much different story. He refuses to recognize Anton as transgender and won't call him anything but Natasha. In fact, his parent's marriage had fallen apart soon after Anton's transition to a boy. This felt very real to me. I actually feel like I learned a lot about being transgender from this book, but the great thing about the author's style is that it never seems preachy or didactic.
The romance was so very cute. I adored Jude (well, he's freaking adorable) and was so happy that he fell for Anton. It was a romance that was on the sweet side. But these are 15-year old boys, they think about sex a lot and they do become intimate. This felt very realistic for their ages although it was done off-page which, IMO, was appropriate to the story.
I'd really recommend this to anyone who enjoys YA romance and who'd love to read a story from the perspective of a transgender MC.
February 4, 2023
This book is so positive! talk about positive representations 🥹❤️🥹❤️🥹❤️ I adore this so much. Everyone was so happening, so accepting (all stupid jokes aside) I felt this book on another level. The curiousity, crushing on the cis-boy (LOL), the questioning and transitioning.
This book touches a lot of details, from transgenderism, sex, queerness, boundaries, consent and overall, identity. I absolutely adore all of these elements. Ah, the details were giving me all the feels 🥹 I love it!
Anton was trans and I could see a lot of myself in him. His story in here was what exactly I imagine I would do in real life. The way he kept his secrets and how scared he was, also his quietness and anxiousness, I just get him. Anton was me. When he looked at himself in the mirror with his new packer on, damn, I cried for him. I felt what he was feeling. I was so happy for him. Fuck, so proud of you, Anton my dude 😭❤️
And Jude’s reaction to it was everything!
Talking about Jude, he was so unrealistic. Not in a bad way at all! Unrealistic as in he was the dreamy kind of guy. Jude was the perfect guy ever. He was so cheery, charming, easygoing and accepting. He made me feel so comfortable with him. I adore his character so much. So positive so loving and caring. Anton deserves guy like him ☹️💜 He was so confused with his sexuality and then with Anton being trans, but the way he handled it. Sigh, love him to death.
“—then that’s okay, but I’m not gonna lie, Anton, I really like you. Like, really like you, crush at first sight shit, yeah? You’re really cool, you’re fun, you’re fit, your shirt rode up a bit in PE last week and I got this weird urge to lick you—if there’s something you need to tell me, then just tell me, and let me decide if whatever it is is something I’m okay with or not, yeah? Don’t decide for me.” 😭❤️😭❤️
I had mixed feelings about the “period talking” I hope it wasn’t a mysogynistic attempt though. I understand that it was Anton’s dysphoric experience with his puberty. When he talked about the period experience, I felt what he was feeling, very deeply even. But I don’t hate female biology, you know? It felt wrong to me, but it’s natural to cisgender women so the bad feeling is only within me.
Anyway, this was a new-to-me author but it’s perfect. I’m gonna read more. And I just found out he’s a trans author too. Damn, just perfect. I’m lucky :)
And the spy stuff? I get it now 🤪🤪🤪 I have lots of spy stuffs too then ;);) AHAHahah
This book touches a lot of details, from transgenderism, sex, queerness, boundaries, consent and overall, identity. I absolutely adore all of these elements. Ah, the details were giving me all the feels 🥹 I love it!
Anton was trans and I could see a lot of myself in him. His story in here was what exactly I imagine I would do in real life. The way he kept his secrets and how scared he was, also his quietness and anxiousness, I just get him. Anton was me. When he looked at himself in the mirror with his new packer on, damn, I cried for him. I felt what he was feeling. I was so happy for him. Fuck, so proud of you, Anton my dude 😭❤️
And Jude’s reaction to it was everything!
Talking about Jude, he was so unrealistic. Not in a bad way at all! Unrealistic as in he was the dreamy kind of guy. Jude was the perfect guy ever. He was so cheery, charming, easygoing and accepting. He made me feel so comfortable with him. I adore his character so much. So positive so loving and caring. Anton deserves guy like him ☹️💜 He was so confused with his sexuality and then with Anton being trans, but the way he handled it. Sigh, love him to death.
“—then that’s okay, but I’m not gonna lie, Anton, I really like you. Like, really like you, crush at first sight shit, yeah? You’re really cool, you’re fun, you’re fit, your shirt rode up a bit in PE last week and I got this weird urge to lick you—if there’s something you need to tell me, then just tell me, and let me decide if whatever it is is something I’m okay with or not, yeah? Don’t decide for me.” 😭❤️😭❤️
I had mixed feelings about the “period talking” I hope it wasn’t a mysogynistic attempt though. I understand that it was Anton’s dysphoric experience with his puberty. When he talked about the period experience, I felt what he was feeling, very deeply even. But I don’t hate female biology, you know? It felt wrong to me, but it’s natural to cisgender women so the bad feeling is only within me.
Anyway, this was a new-to-me author but it’s perfect. I’m gonna read more. And I just found out he’s a trans author too. Damn, just perfect. I’m lucky :)
And the spy stuff? I get it now 🤪🤪🤪 I have lots of spy stuffs too then ;);) AHAHahah
February 4, 2025
5.0 stars ...
Re-read: Jan/Feb '25
Yep ...
my review from a couple years ago still stands ...
I freakin' LOVE everything about Anton/Jude's story.
Such a positive and enlightening book. 🥰
(Previous review: Folks, this is how you do trans rep.
Beautiful, wonderful, fantabulous!
All the stars! ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️)
“So, uh, yeah, Anton Williams and his labels,” Jude said, smoothing out a handwritten note. Miss Taylor already looked skeptical. “So, uh, Anton is white. I think we all knew that. And he’s gay, and I definitely know that…” The class sniggered. Anton smiled faintly, and Jude glanced up at him. Very slowly, Anton shook his head. “And he’s a guy. And he’s totally a Russian spy.”
The sniggers got louder; Miss Taylor sighed. “Kalinowski…”
“He could be, he didn’t actually say he was English, you know, and his first name is Anton, so yeah, he’s blatantly a spy and has super secret spy stuff, hence he just sort of showed up like a random new kid,” Jude rambled, then screwed up the note.
“Sit down, Kalinowski.”
“I’m not finished!”
“Then you can take the assignment seriously.”
“I am,” Jude said, and took a deep breath. “Thing is, I rang Anton last night and said, what do you want me to say. ‘Cause actually it’s nobody’s business what he is unless he wants them to know. And I know more about him than he’s a gay white guy, but all that cool stuff that makes him Anton, that doesn’t fit into all the labels. So you could write down all his labels, and you wouldn’t know it was him. And like…a million other guys could fit his labels and be nothing like him. So the way I see it, the labels are only the starting point. And all the stuff that’s worth knowing, that goes way beyond them.”
👍😊👍
Re-read: Jan/Feb '25
Yep ...
my review from a couple years ago still stands ...
I freakin' LOVE everything about Anton/Jude's story.
Such a positive and enlightening book. 🥰
(Previous review: Folks, this is how you do trans rep.
Beautiful, wonderful, fantabulous!
All the stars! ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️)
“So, uh, yeah, Anton Williams and his labels,” Jude said, smoothing out a handwritten note. Miss Taylor already looked skeptical. “So, uh, Anton is white. I think we all knew that. And he’s gay, and I definitely know that…” The class sniggered. Anton smiled faintly, and Jude glanced up at him. Very slowly, Anton shook his head. “And he’s a guy. And he’s totally a Russian spy.”
The sniggers got louder; Miss Taylor sighed. “Kalinowski…”
“He could be, he didn’t actually say he was English, you know, and his first name is Anton, so yeah, he’s blatantly a spy and has super secret spy stuff, hence he just sort of showed up like a random new kid,” Jude rambled, then screwed up the note.
“Sit down, Kalinowski.”
“I’m not finished!”
“Then you can take the assignment seriously.”
“I am,” Jude said, and took a deep breath. “Thing is, I rang Anton last night and said, what do you want me to say. ‘Cause actually it’s nobody’s business what he is unless he wants them to know. And I know more about him than he’s a gay white guy, but all that cool stuff that makes him Anton, that doesn’t fit into all the labels. So you could write down all his labels, and you wouldn’t know it was him. And like…a million other guys could fit his labels and be nothing like him. So the way I see it, the labels are only the starting point. And all the stuff that’s worth knowing, that goes way beyond them.”
👍😊👍
June 15, 2016
I loved every minute of this book. Snappy, witty, beautifully British writing that drew me in and wouldn't let me go (except I was at Euro Pride Con, dammit, and had to keep putting it down). Finished it on the plane home and had a goofy happy smile.
The characters are wonderful, and I really love Matthew's writing style. Highly recommended.
The characters are wonderful, and I really love Matthew's writing style. Highly recommended.
May 26, 2016
The books I gravitate to tend to be gritty, gut wrenching, and angst filled. Spy Stuff is none of this; it is sweet and cute. From my perspective, sweet was perfect for this story and I loved it. Although the story is sweet, it does have heavy moments and themes. Anton's backstory is traumatic. There is a fair amount of internal conflict and the story is emotional. At times I raged. At times I cried. More often than not, I felt hopeful and happy. For me, it was a perfect blend of hardship/adversity and hope.
My daughter is transgender. Like Anton, for years, she worried no one would ever want to date her. This book felt like a gift, a gift to young adults like my daughter who don't believe they'll get a happily ever after. As I read, I kept feeling excited and happy that so many trans issues were being confronted and addressed so beautifully. Spy Stuff offers a thoughtful, insightful, informative look at gender identity, transitioning, body dysphoria, sexual identity, labels, and coming out. I am thrilled that there's such sweet, romantic trans representation for YA readers.
I know I tend to gravitate to gritty, angst filled books and sweet doesn't usually work for me, but in this case, sweet seems perfect. For my part, I wouldn't have wanted it any other way.
My daughter is transgender. Like Anton, for years, she worried no one would ever want to date her. This book felt like a gift, a gift to young adults like my daughter who don't believe they'll get a happily ever after. As I read, I kept feeling excited and happy that so many trans issues were being confronted and addressed so beautifully. Spy Stuff offers a thoughtful, insightful, informative look at gender identity, transitioning, body dysphoria, sexual identity, labels, and coming out. I am thrilled that there's such sweet, romantic trans representation for YA readers.
I know I tend to gravitate to gritty, angst filled books and sweet doesn't usually work for me, but in this case, sweet seems perfect. For my part, I wouldn't have wanted it any other way.
September 3, 2017
In a splendid mix of humor and teenage angst, Spy Stuff brings out the daunting difficulties of being trans male when all you really wanna be is male, all the while still being incredibly charming and a fantastically encapturing read.
First days at a new school are hard enough, but first days at a new school when you are hiding a secret that forced to you change schools are even worse. Especially when you find yourself smitten with the supposedly straight class-clown. Add to that the fact that Anton’s father is a douche who misgenders him at every turn, his mother is struggling to find work after divorcing his dad, and that even the smallest of slip-ups could mean that his secret runs him from yet another school. Yeah, first days at a new school can be hard.
But they can also mean a new and fresh start.
There are good characters, there are great books, and there are stories I damn well wish had been around when I was still a teenager. This just happens to be all three.
I’m not entirely sure how I missed this when it came out a few months ago, but I am deeply grateful that it has come to my attention now. In my quest to read more books that reflect my own life in some ways, I’m willing to take just about anything that has trans characters in it. Yet this book delivers more than just a trans character. It gives us a compelling (and extremely well written) story and so many small and big moments that capture the attention and make you end the book begging for more.
And I really do wish that this book had been around when I was a teen. Granted, back then I don’t know if I’d have had the courage to go beyond my upbringing to read it, but even the chance would have been nice. There is so much here that I identify with, so much that speaks to me, and while I wish I had the chance to read it then, I am thrilled to have the chance to read it and share it with others now. I don’t really read much YA (the teen years are usually ones I am more than happy to forget even existed) but the subject matter forced me to look past that and see the gem of a story inside.
I am so totally recommending you read this. Hell, I’m recommending you read the damn thing then recommend it to everyone you see. It was not just a great book with trans characters, or a great book with a great story…it was just a lot of fun to read. I hardly put it down once I started. And once I got to the end all I could think was I gotta have more.
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First days at a new school are hard enough, but first days at a new school when you are hiding a secret that forced to you change schools are even worse. Especially when you find yourself smitten with the supposedly straight class-clown. Add to that the fact that Anton’s father is a douche who misgenders him at every turn, his mother is struggling to find work after divorcing his dad, and that even the smallest of slip-ups could mean that his secret runs him from yet another school. Yeah, first days at a new school can be hard.
But they can also mean a new and fresh start.
There are good characters, there are great books, and there are stories I damn well wish had been around when I was still a teenager. This just happens to be all three.
I’m not entirely sure how I missed this when it came out a few months ago, but I am deeply grateful that it has come to my attention now. In my quest to read more books that reflect my own life in some ways, I’m willing to take just about anything that has trans characters in it. Yet this book delivers more than just a trans character. It gives us a compelling (and extremely well written) story and so many small and big moments that capture the attention and make you end the book begging for more.
And I really do wish that this book had been around when I was a teen. Granted, back then I don’t know if I’d have had the courage to go beyond my upbringing to read it, but even the chance would have been nice. There is so much here that I identify with, so much that speaks to me, and while I wish I had the chance to read it then, I am thrilled to have the chance to read it and share it with others now. I don’t really read much YA (the teen years are usually ones I am more than happy to forget even existed) but the subject matter forced me to look past that and see the gem of a story inside.
I am so totally recommending you read this. Hell, I’m recommending you read the damn thing then recommend it to everyone you see. It was not just a great book with trans characters, or a great book with a great story…it was just a lot of fun to read. I hardly put it down once I started. And once I got to the end all I could think was I gotta have more.
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July 4, 2016
No me ha entusiasmado, esperaba algo más de este libro... El tema me interesa mucho y siento que podría haber dado más de sí.
A excepción de Anton, no he terminado de creerme a los personajes ni de conectar con ellos. En general, los encuentro demasiado buenos para ser verdad y los que no lo son, como el padre, se nos presentan directamente como unos cretinos esféricos... Y yo necesito mi escala de grises.
Jude... ¿Quince años? ¿En serio? Sinceramente, me planteo que las cosas han cambiado mucho desde mi adolescencia noventera (20 años hace, ouch) porque esa claridad de ideas, esa madurez, esa elocuencia… A mí al menos no me resultan creíbles. Y la verdad es que Jude es encantador y maravilloso ¿eh? ¡Quién no lo quisiera como novio! Pero mi impresión es que le falta cohesión, es una mezcla de rebelde/malote (pero cacho pan en el fondo) cool y popu (pero tampoco demasiado porque en el fondo el pobre es un pushover, no penséis) y a la vez maduro, experimentado y considerado (pero un poco puberto patán en ocasiones para darle realismo al asunto) Todas estas cosas para mí no acaban de casar y es por esto que Jude no termina de tomar forma, lo he encontrado algo forzado.
Anton por su parte me ha gustado y me ha llegado mucho más, me ha parecido un personaje bastante real y bien construido, además su evolución tiene momentos realmente emotivos que lo hacen muy cercano.
Algunos diálogos me han resultado artificiales, por momentos sentía que me estaba leyendo un manual de buenas prácticas, y aunque hay escenas que me han gustado mucho (como las de Anton con su tía y con su terapeuta) la corrección que se respira me ha cargado un poco.
Si bien encuentro muy interesante que se trate el tema de las etiquetas, la forma en que se resuelve esto me ha chirriado un poco pero tampoco sabría explicar bien por qué, así que no me hagáis mucho caso...
¿Lo bueno? Es un libro entretenido, interesante y optimista, con un protagonista muy bien montado, y yo diría (habida cuenta de mi ignorancia al respecto) que no aborda el tema transgénero con ligereza.
A mí no me ha funcionado del todo, pero reconozco que esto es algo muy subjetivo, así que no quiero desanimaros porque tampoco me ha parecido una mala lectura.
A excepción de Anton, no he terminado de creerme a los personajes ni de conectar con ellos. En general, los encuentro demasiado buenos para ser verdad y los que no lo son, como el padre, se nos presentan directamente como unos cretinos esféricos... Y yo necesito mi escala de grises.
Jude... ¿Quince años? ¿En serio? Sinceramente, me planteo que las cosas han cambiado mucho desde mi adolescencia noventera (20 años hace, ouch) porque esa claridad de ideas, esa madurez, esa elocuencia… A mí al menos no me resultan creíbles. Y la verdad es que Jude es encantador y maravilloso ¿eh? ¡Quién no lo quisiera como novio! Pero mi impresión es que le falta cohesión, es una mezcla de rebelde/malote (pero cacho pan en el fondo) cool y popu (pero tampoco demasiado porque en el fondo el pobre es un pushover, no penséis) y a la vez maduro, experimentado y considerado (pero un poco puberto patán en ocasiones para darle realismo al asunto) Todas estas cosas para mí no acaban de casar y es por esto que Jude no termina de tomar forma, lo he encontrado algo forzado.
Anton por su parte me ha gustado y me ha llegado mucho más, me ha parecido un personaje bastante real y bien construido, además su evolución tiene momentos realmente emotivos que lo hacen muy cercano.
Algunos diálogos me han resultado artificiales, por momentos sentía que me estaba leyendo un manual de buenas prácticas, y aunque hay escenas que me han gustado mucho (como las de Anton con su tía y con su terapeuta) la corrección que se respira me ha cargado un poco.
Si bien encuentro muy interesante que se trate el tema de las etiquetas, la forma en que se resuelve esto me ha chirriado un poco pero tampoco sabría explicar bien por qué, así que no me hagáis mucho caso...
¿Lo bueno? Es un libro entretenido, interesante y optimista, con un protagonista muy bien montado, y yo diría (habida cuenta de mi ignorancia al respecto) que no aborda el tema transgénero con ligereza.
A mí no me ha funcionado del todo, pero reconozco que esto es algo muy subjetivo, así que no quiero desanimaros porque tampoco me ha parecido una mala lectura.
March 16, 2019
3.5 stars
Jude was a bit too perfect to be true and in part the same goes for the rest of their friends, but I’d like to think that I’m just too cynical and that some teenagers these days are really that accepting and mature while still being completely obnoxious teenagers.
Rounding up because of that and the fact that Matthew J. Metzger can apparently make even me enjoy reading a YA book.
Jude was a bit too perfect to be true and in part the same goes for the rest of their friends, but I’d like to think that I’m just too cynical and that some teenagers these days are really that accepting and mature while still being completely obnoxious teenagers.
Rounding up because of that and the fact that Matthew J. Metzger can apparently make even me enjoy reading a YA book.
May 14, 2020
5/14/20 Currently FREE via JMS Books huge giveaway: https://www.jms-books.com/free-c-440/...
October 26, 2016
The actual rating is 4,5 stars.
I was a bit bumped at first when I realize there are no actual spies with guns, missions and secret ops. (I'm an idiot who picks books from their tbr without checking why it's on tbr in the first place, don't judge). I got over it quickly tho, the book is really wonderful and after reading it I understand what "spy stuff" refers to and it's a good book title.
So, Spy Stuff is well-crafted contemporary book about British 15 year old transgender boy Anton and his settling in a new school, meeting people etc. He's a wonderful character, usually I'm not a big fan of 15 year olds, but I started to care about him and his friends really fast and there was not going back.
Kudos to romantic plotline, it was well-paced and realistic. I totally can imagine teens actually doing/saying things that happened in the books.
I'm a total fan of positive family relations in books with teenager protagonist. Anton's mum, auntie, his nieces and two cats were all adorable. Anton's dad was an arse, mildly speaking. But he was mostly off screen cos why give a hateful arsehole a screen time, right? I liked that the book didn't focus on him, he's not worth it.
As a cisgender person, I'm in no way capable of saying anything about transgenderism and how it was portrayed here, but the book is written by transgender author so it's #ownvoice.
I'd like to mention that the book isn't focusing on 'coming out' narrative. I find it harmful that media forces people( teens especially) to come out and presents its as a highest pain or some shit like that. Too many books are written about 'coming out' ( I'm not saying there shouldn't be any books like that, but we have quite a lot already imo). Spy Stuff repeatedly states that a decision to come out is a personal choice and only said person should make this decision. The book has breaking typical tropes for a story with LGBT+ protagonist thing. (also there is no miscommunication between the couple, bless this book and the author)
All in all, Spy Stuff is really wonderful well-paced contemporary. The book is a total page-turner, the writing is simple, but addictive. It was a very enjoyable read in every way and I definitely recommend to read the book.
I was a bit bumped at first when I realize there are no actual spies with guns, missions and secret ops. (I'm an idiot who picks books from their tbr without checking why it's on tbr in the first place, don't judge). I got over it quickly tho, the book is really wonderful and after reading it I understand what "spy stuff" refers to and it's a good book title.
So, Spy Stuff is well-crafted contemporary book about British 15 year old transgender boy Anton and his settling in a new school, meeting people etc. He's a wonderful character, usually I'm not a big fan of 15 year olds, but I started to care about him and his friends really fast and there was not going back.
Kudos to romantic plotline, it was well-paced and realistic. I totally can imagine teens actually doing/saying things that happened in the books.
I'm a total fan of positive family relations in books with teenager protagonist. Anton's mum, auntie, his nieces and two cats were all adorable. Anton's dad was an arse, mildly speaking. But he was mostly off screen cos why give a hateful arsehole a screen time, right? I liked that the book didn't focus on him, he's not worth it.
As a cisgender person, I'm in no way capable of saying anything about transgenderism and how it was portrayed here, but the book is written by transgender author so it's #ownvoice.
I'd like to mention that the book isn't focusing on 'coming out' narrative. I find it harmful that media forces people( teens especially) to come out and presents its as a highest pain or some shit like that. Too many books are written about 'coming out' ( I'm not saying there shouldn't be any books like that, but we have quite a lot already imo). Spy Stuff repeatedly states that a decision to come out is a personal choice and only said person should make this decision. The book has breaking typical tropes for a story with LGBT+ protagonist thing. (also there is no miscommunication between the couple, bless this book and the author)
All in all, Spy Stuff is really wonderful well-paced contemporary. The book is a total page-turner, the writing is simple, but addictive. It was a very enjoyable read in every way and I definitely recommend to read the book.
June 13, 2019
This book is about a transgender teenage boy named Anton, starting in a new school, and guys... this is so fluffy and cute and heartwarming. The romantic interest, Jude, is maybe too perfect, but I didn't mind that because ♥ I think this is just a feel good story. Of course, we have transphobia and homophobia, but what most stands out about the book is the romantic aspect, and we have an amazing mother here, and an awesome aunt, and nice friends. I really recommend this book, I wish it had more hype.
Read
September 15, 2016I really enjoyed this book. The story pulls the reader in effortlessly and Metzger has teenagers down to a "t" - the dialogue in particular is very strong. The characters were all kinds of endearing, too, especially the lovely Jude. The story is positive and uplifting without ignoring issues faced by trans teens in schools today. Highly recommended.
July 6, 2016
I have a lot of thoughts and will share them more in depth at some point but for right now: this is the #ownvoices contemporary trans YA that I have wanted for YEARS and it's so good and so important.
July 23, 2016
Anton is a fifteen year old FTM transgender teen dealing with a lot. His father refuses to acknowledge he's a boy. This is one of the reasons there was serious friction in his parent's marriage, and was a big reason leading to their divorce.
Now that the divorce is done, Anton and his mother have moved in with his Aunt, which has two silver linings: Anton is now in a home with adults who unconditionally and completely support him 100%. But the best part is that Anton is able to leave behind his old school where he was bullied and start fresh. In his new school Anton is determined that none of the other students ever find out about him being transgender. The staff are all accommodating, he's making real friends, playing football, and there's even a boy he likes.
Jude Kalinowski is a gorgeous, fiery red-head, with a totally chill personality unless he's pushed. Always into girls in the past, Jude's surprised when he immediately feels attracted to Anton. The more time Jude spends with Anton the more he starts to fall for him. When the two start to date it's great and terrifying for Anton, who knows he'll have to confess before things continue to escalate sexually with Jude.
I liked that Metzger explores Anton's fear of being ostracized and bullied. Anton has good reason to be wary, even though he knows Jude is a good guy and totally trustworthy.
I liked that Spy Stuff is realistic, and even slightly PSA-ish, without being overbearing about it.
I really liked that Metzger realistically portrayed Jude and Anton as sexually active (so many YA novels don't), even while I was bummed the sex mentioned was all off page.
But, more than anything else, let me gush about how much I absolutely LOVED, LOVED, LOVED Jude!
So many Young Adult stories go overboard with the preaching, but this was just a well paced, thoughtful story that had loads of humor and feels.
Review copy of Spy Stuff provided by Queerteen Press in exchange of an honest review.
This review has been cross-posted at Gay Book Reviews.
Now that the divorce is done, Anton and his mother have moved in with his Aunt, which has two silver linings: Anton is now in a home with adults who unconditionally and completely support him 100%. But the best part is that Anton is able to leave behind his old school where he was bullied and start fresh. In his new school Anton is determined that none of the other students ever find out about him being transgender. The staff are all accommodating, he's making real friends, playing football, and there's even a boy he likes.
Jude Kalinowski is a gorgeous, fiery red-head, with a totally chill personality unless he's pushed. Always into girls in the past, Jude's surprised when he immediately feels attracted to Anton. The more time Jude spends with Anton the more he starts to fall for him. When the two start to date it's great and terrifying for Anton, who knows he'll have to confess before things continue to escalate sexually with Jude.
I liked that Metzger explores Anton's fear of being ostracized and bullied. Anton has good reason to be wary, even though he knows Jude is a good guy and totally trustworthy.
I liked that Spy Stuff is realistic, and even slightly PSA-ish, without being overbearing about it.
I really liked that Metzger realistically portrayed Jude and Anton as sexually active (so many YA novels don't), even while I was bummed the sex mentioned was all off page.
But, more than anything else, let me gush about how much I absolutely LOVED, LOVED, LOVED Jude!
So many Young Adult stories go overboard with the preaching, but this was just a well paced, thoughtful story that had loads of humor and feels.
Review copy of Spy Stuff provided by Queerteen Press in exchange of an honest review.
This review has been cross-posted at Gay Book Reviews.
September 26, 2024
3.5 stars rounded up
June 26, 2023
DNF 30%
Honestly, I should have quit sooner.
So far, we have had two mentions of the r-word, a class full of assholes making bigoted jokes all the time (but they're such good kids with good hearts, really!!!), a supposedly great teacher forcing the kids she teaches to come out, and trans rep based entirely on the view that medical transition and passing are the ultimate and only goals of being transgender.
Called it quits when the trans mc said he wasn't really gay because he was trans. Because apparently this author thinks that the mc being AFAB means he's straight / can't be gay when he's into guys.
Honestly, I should have quit sooner.
So far, we have had two mentions of the r-word, a class full of assholes making bigoted jokes all the time (but they're such good kids with good hearts, really!!!), a supposedly great teacher forcing the kids she teaches to come out, and trans rep based entirely on the view that medical transition and passing are the ultimate and only goals of being transgender.
Called it quits when the trans mc said he wasn't really gay because he was trans. Because apparently this author thinks that the mc being AFAB means he's straight / can't be gay when he's into guys.
June 29, 2016
La verdad es que está muy bien el libro. Un YA que toca algunos temas con responsabilidad, sin perder la necesaria dosis de entretenimiento. La conversación entre uno de los protagonistas y la psiquiatra es de lo mejor, sobre todo por lo que dice, cómo lo dice, y el tiempo que se le dedica a este encuentro. Los personajes son absolutamente adorables. Para leer en una tarde tranquila
June 27, 2016
Possibly my favourite book of the year. Book hangover anyone? Review soon.
June 27, 2016
5 feel good stars from me, for this YA Transgender story full of humour, good friends...oh, and swearing ;) Anton's transition, and his problems with morons who won't deal with it are told in a matter-of-fact way. His blossoming relationship with Jude made me smile and feel that things would eventually work out fine.
Jude, I <3 you so much, you're my hero!! You horrified me too, losing your virginity at 12 for Heaven's sake, but whatever....I just couldn't comprehend even thinking about sex at that age, and back in the day ;), we didn't. You were loyal, trustworthy and a true friend to Anton when he desperately needed one, and didn't know where else to turn after vicious bullying at his previous school. Shame about your footie team, but we all make mistakes. :D
Anton...can't you divorce yourself from your Dad?? Emancipation?? He's a complete and utter prat and deserves your unreserved contempt!! Refusing to accept that the child he knew as Natasha no longer exists, but has become Anton...deliberately baiting him whenever he sees him, still calling him Natasha. God, no wonder your mum divorced him!!
I know from following Matthew that this story is more than likely based on his own experiences with transition and the lack of acceptance by people including members of his own family. You are NOT faceless - see cover of story - you are a wonderful author, and I for one love reading your work. Long may it continue!!
July 3, 2016
I'd like to say that 15 year olds don't swear all the time, but a lot of those I've met actually do.
I'd like to say that 15 year olds aren't sexually active, or actively thinking about sex, but a lot of those I've met actually are.
I'd like so say that there aren't arseholes like Anton's father around, but sadly there are.
The stereotypical boy behaviour is perfectly realistic at 15, when kids are staking their claim to their place in the world, blustering, rough-housing and show boating to their mates.
As someone who lives with four teenagers, two of whom are trans, this is probably the most 'honest' book I have read in a long time.
I'd like to say that 15 year olds aren't sexually active, or actively thinking about sex, but a lot of those I've met actually are.
I'd like so say that there aren't arseholes like Anton's father around, but sadly there are.
The stereotypical boy behaviour is perfectly realistic at 15, when kids are staking their claim to their place in the world, blustering, rough-housing and show boating to their mates.
As someone who lives with four teenagers, two of whom are trans, this is probably the most 'honest' book I have read in a long time.
June 19, 2016
Anton is a gay transgender teenage boy who has transferred schools after some intense bullying. He's anxious yet hopeful that things will go well in the new environment. However, his life gets hella complicated when he develops a crush on one of his new friends...
It took me a bit to unpack how I felt about this book. The good things made me give it thumbs up. The bad things made me cringe (a lot.) BTW, I won't talk much about the plot since it's a v. straightfoward one: Anton gets into a new school, meets new people, and gets a boyfriend. This is one of those books where the journey is deffo more important and interesting that the destination.
What I liked
+ Anton and co
He and his classmates sounded and behaved like the teenagers they were. Even though the story is only told from Anton's POV, all the teens had distinct voices and personalities. Their reactions to everything from trying to behave in class to hanging out with friends felt real.
Anton himself was a good-natured yet wary kid. He'd been bullied for being transgender in his previous school. It made sense that some of his reactions to seemingly normal things were of the "fight or flight" kind before he really got to know Jude and his friends.
+ Anton/Jude
Anton's surprise at seeing Jude reciprocating his feelings for him was sweet. I wouldn't call them a cute couple; they're too matter-of-fact as in "yes, we're together. Big deal" for me to call them adorable or cute.
Also, they're at that moment in their lives where they're enjoying their ~broness~. Once they start dating, their relationship doesn't change much (except for the kissing and more intimate times). They still play football, hang out with their buds, occasionally get into fisticuffs with jerks.
Still, their romance is sweet. Jude was alternately goofy or serious while Anton was guarded or tender. It's up to the reader whether or not you see them as an HEA or HFN. The latter makes a smidgen more sense to me because they're both only 15 years old. While I'm glad that they get a happy ending (and that the conflicts they overcome on their way to that place are realistic enough), I'm less sure as to whether this would be a forever-type of romance. Perhaps I'd have been more optimistic about their long-term chances had they been ten years or so older. YMMV.
+ Labels (meaning of)
There is a sub-plot about a class project centered around labels. More specifically, the LGTB+ ones. So we get a few scenes where a few of Anton's classmates give their opinions on the meaning of labels, whether any or some are OK, what's their importance, etc.
Anton feels pretty secure about his: gay and transgender. He does mention that he'd eventually like to eschew transgender when he's older. Coming out as trans is, obviously, a huge deal for him.
Meanwhile, Jude had a slippery time with his. He's fine with being attracted to Anton--which makes sense because Jude's the kind of person who makes up his mind really fast and can handle anything thrown his way once he's made a decision.
His uneasiness comes from figuring out what label better suits him. This is the first time he's ever been attracted to someone of his same gender, but he still fancies women. At times, yes, he uses bisexual. But there are other times where he says he prefers no labels. That he was so nonchalant about being known for dating the new dude in school was actually rather cool.
It was interesting to see this idea of why there's a need (or not) for labels, what makes some useful or cumbersome. I found it satisfying that this ongoing discussion was done in a way that didn't feel intrusive.
+ Anton's family dynamics
On one side you've got Anton's mom and aunt, both incredibly supportive people. Time and time again Anton mentions how important it is for him to have them as part of his life. They also comfort him in ways that feel natural and not too cookie-cutter.
And then, there's Anton's dad. He had such a hard time with Anton's gender identity that he's still in absolute denial about his son. It's heartbreaking to see the way he tries to interact with Anton.
I know this is going to sound weird, but it was a good thing that we saw these two opposites in Anton's life. I'm not happy that his father couldn't accept him. Yet, at the same time, that is the reality for some LGTB+ people: sometimes their families can't deal with the truth and will block it out to such a point that the relationship is almost/totally irreparably damaged.
+ Female characters
In addition to Anton's mom and aunt, there's also:
* Emma, a classmate and someone who might potentially be queer.
* Elene, Anton's therapist
* Mrs. Salter, Anton's no-nonsense PE teacher
All five of them interact with Anton on different levels and lend him support when he needs it. I give props to Metzger for writing them as part of the cast rather than leaving them in the background.
Personally, I was less enthused with Mrs. Taylor, Anton's homeroom teacher, for reasons I'll mention below.
What I didn't like
- The messy beginning
In media res doesn't always work. I'm not sure if Metzger meant to make the reader feel as disoriented as Anton felt when Mrs. Taylor asked him to introduce himself to the rest of the class.
Some of the kids make comments and then the whole classroom erupts into a type of chaos. Mrs. Taylor is barely able to make them behave, basically throwing a crapload of warnings and detentions at the kids who are the most disruptive.
The first chapter is also poorly written, with Anton (and the reader) not getting back to solid land until the next chapter.
Also worthy of note, Mrs. Taylor's frustration with her students doesn't go away. I'm not a teacher, but I could almost imagine her putting in her resignation by the end of the school year. She came across as someone who was really burnt out on teaching. :|
- Some of that dialogue (*cringes*)
Anton and his friends use retarded, an ableist slur, a few times in the book.
My side-eye got some extra play whenever Jude would say something terribly sexist. At one point, somewhere around 80%, he makes a casual comment to Anton that got me to inwardly cringe. It's not meant to hurt (and, as a matter of fact, Anton reflects on not being bothered by it and jokes with Jude about it), but it does show that Jude is a teenager.
FTR, he does warn/admit to Anton that he will definitely mess up in some things since he's never dated anyone who is transgender.
- A few of the adults' attitudes regarding casual sex
So, Anton and Jude do eventually become intimate. The book has a lot of making out and foreplay scenes (petting/caressing, that kind of thing) with the sex scenes happening off-screen. Anton does mention and/or think about what he and Jude have done in bed and whether they both like it or not.
Jude's the most experienced of the two (having had at least two other partners, both cisgendered women). He's an enthusiastic and giving lover. For his part, this is Anton's first everything (kiss, boyfriend, etc) so he's obviously nervous yet eager to be with Jude.
The way both approach having sex is almost-unbelievably mature considering they're both 15 years old. That said, a lot of 15 year olds do have sex regardless of where they are in the gender spectrum.
My issue with Jude and Anton boinking had more to do with what some of the adults in Anton's life thought about this development. For example, Elene was encouraging because she saw it as a way for Anton to learn about his body in a positive way. Anton's aunt was v. cheeky.
About the one adult who had a not-so-positive reaction was Anton's mother. She kept bringing up Anton and Jude's age as well as the fact that Anton could get pregnant in one v. short scene. Anton was dismissive and that was that. In contrast, Elene did mentioned condoms, but it was done as a type of afterthought.
TL;DR: Bumpy beginning aside, this is a sweet and down-to-earth book about two teenage boys who become boyfriends. It so happens that one of the boys is transgender. I totes rec this book if you want to read LGTB+ YA.
It took me a bit to unpack how I felt about this book. The good things made me give it thumbs up. The bad things made me cringe (a lot.) BTW, I won't talk much about the plot since it's a v. straightfoward one: Anton gets into a new school, meets new people, and gets a boyfriend. This is one of those books where the journey is deffo more important and interesting that the destination.
What I liked
+ Anton and co
He and his classmates sounded and behaved like the teenagers they were. Even though the story is only told from Anton's POV, all the teens had distinct voices and personalities. Their reactions to everything from trying to behave in class to hanging out with friends felt real.
Anton himself was a good-natured yet wary kid. He'd been bullied for being transgender in his previous school. It made sense that some of his reactions to seemingly normal things were of the "fight or flight" kind before he really got to know Jude and his friends.
+ Anton/Jude
Anton's surprise at seeing Jude reciprocating his feelings for him was sweet. I wouldn't call them a cute couple; they're too matter-of-fact as in "yes, we're together. Big deal" for me to call them adorable or cute.
Also, they're at that moment in their lives where they're enjoying their ~broness~. Once they start dating, their relationship doesn't change much (except for the kissing and more intimate times). They still play football, hang out with their buds, occasionally get into fisticuffs with jerks.
Still, their romance is sweet. Jude was alternately goofy or serious while Anton was guarded or tender. It's up to the reader whether or not you see them as an HEA or HFN. The latter makes a smidgen more sense to me because they're both only 15 years old. While I'm glad that they get a happy ending (and that the conflicts they overcome on their way to that place are realistic enough), I'm less sure as to whether this would be a forever-type of romance. Perhaps I'd have been more optimistic about their long-term chances had they been ten years or so older. YMMV.
+ Labels (meaning of)
There is a sub-plot about a class project centered around labels. More specifically, the LGTB+ ones. So we get a few scenes where a few of Anton's classmates give their opinions on the meaning of labels, whether any or some are OK, what's their importance, etc.
Anton feels pretty secure about his: gay and transgender. He does mention that he'd eventually like to eschew transgender when he's older. Coming out as trans is, obviously, a huge deal for him.
Meanwhile, Jude had a slippery time with his. He's fine with being attracted to Anton--which makes sense because Jude's the kind of person who makes up his mind really fast and can handle anything thrown his way once he's made a decision.
His uneasiness comes from figuring out what label better suits him. This is the first time he's ever been attracted to someone of his same gender, but he still fancies women. At times, yes, he uses bisexual. But there are other times where he says he prefers no labels. That he was so nonchalant about being known for dating the new dude in school was actually rather cool.
It was interesting to see this idea of why there's a need (or not) for labels, what makes some useful or cumbersome. I found it satisfying that this ongoing discussion was done in a way that didn't feel intrusive.
+ Anton's family dynamics
On one side you've got Anton's mom and aunt, both incredibly supportive people. Time and time again Anton mentions how important it is for him to have them as part of his life. They also comfort him in ways that feel natural and not too cookie-cutter.
And then, there's Anton's dad. He had such a hard time with Anton's gender identity that he's still in absolute denial about his son. It's heartbreaking to see the way he tries to interact with Anton.
I know this is going to sound weird, but it was a good thing that we saw these two opposites in Anton's life. I'm not happy that his father couldn't accept him. Yet, at the same time, that is the reality for some LGTB+ people: sometimes their families can't deal with the truth and will block it out to such a point that the relationship is almost/totally irreparably damaged.
+ Female characters
In addition to Anton's mom and aunt, there's also:
* Emma, a classmate and someone who might potentially be queer.
* Elene, Anton's therapist
* Mrs. Salter, Anton's no-nonsense PE teacher
All five of them interact with Anton on different levels and lend him support when he needs it. I give props to Metzger for writing them as part of the cast rather than leaving them in the background.
Personally, I was less enthused with Mrs. Taylor, Anton's homeroom teacher, for reasons I'll mention below.
What I didn't like
- The messy beginning
In media res doesn't always work. I'm not sure if Metzger meant to make the reader feel as disoriented as Anton felt when Mrs. Taylor asked him to introduce himself to the rest of the class.
Some of the kids make comments and then the whole classroom erupts into a type of chaos. Mrs. Taylor is barely able to make them behave, basically throwing a crapload of warnings and detentions at the kids who are the most disruptive.
The first chapter is also poorly written, with Anton (and the reader) not getting back to solid land until the next chapter.
Also worthy of note, Mrs. Taylor's frustration with her students doesn't go away. I'm not a teacher, but I could almost imagine her putting in her resignation by the end of the school year. She came across as someone who was really burnt out on teaching. :|
- Some of that dialogue (*cringes*)
Anton and his friends use retarded, an ableist slur, a few times in the book.
My side-eye got some extra play whenever Jude would say something terribly sexist. At one point, somewhere around 80%, he makes a casual comment to Anton that got me to inwardly cringe. It's not meant to hurt (and, as a matter of fact, Anton reflects on not being bothered by it and jokes with Jude about it), but it does show that Jude is a teenager.
FTR, he does warn/admit to Anton that he will definitely mess up in some things since he's never dated anyone who is transgender.
- A few of the adults' attitudes regarding casual sex
So, Anton and Jude do eventually become intimate. The book has a lot of making out and foreplay scenes (petting/caressing, that kind of thing) with the sex scenes happening off-screen. Anton does mention and/or think about what he and Jude have done in bed and whether they both like it or not.
Jude's the most experienced of the two (having had at least two other partners, both cisgendered women). He's an enthusiastic and giving lover. For his part, this is Anton's first everything (kiss, boyfriend, etc) so he's obviously nervous yet eager to be with Jude.
The way both approach having sex is almost-unbelievably mature considering they're both 15 years old. That said, a lot of 15 year olds do have sex regardless of where they are in the gender spectrum.
My issue with Jude and Anton boinking had more to do with what some of the adults in Anton's life thought about this development. For example, Elene was encouraging because she saw it as a way for Anton to learn about his body in a positive way. Anton's aunt was v. cheeky.
About the one adult who had a not-so-positive reaction was Anton's mother. She kept bringing up Anton and Jude's age as well as the fact that Anton could get pregnant in one v. short scene. Anton was dismissive and that was that. In contrast, Elene did mentioned condoms, but it was done as a type of afterthought.
TL;DR: Bumpy beginning aside, this is a sweet and down-to-earth book about two teenage boys who become boyfriends. It so happens that one of the boys is transgender. I totes rec this book if you want to read LGTB+ YA.
May 1, 2016
“So keep your mind wide open and allow for stereotypes to be defied. Express yourself in whatever way you wish and allow others to do the same. Don’t make anyone afraid to stand up and stand out for who they are and who they want to be.” ~ Rachel Thompson
After being bullied unmercifully at his former school, Anton of 'Spy Stuff' by Mathew J. Meltzer, is starting a different one in hopes of having a new beginning. When his teacher asks him to introduce himself, Anton bristles; since he wants to remain as anonymous as possible, Anton tells her he'd rather not. This reply starts a small riot with the kids in the class, complete with throwing books, screaming, and swearing at each other, etc. Anton is alarmed, wondering if he's gone from the frying pan into the fire. Fortunately, Emma, one of his classmates, takes Anton under her wing and acts as a guide, explaining that they guys always act like that and they are actually friends.
Unlike most of us, Anton has to worry about what toilet to go in, changing in gym class, and wearing a skimpy vest (tank top) instead of a T-shirt because he doesn't want anyone to see his binder and discover he's transgender. Anton is afraid that if they did, he would be treated differently than if they consider him just “one of the guys”. Fortunately, the kids in this school seem friendly and open, particularly Emma and Jude.
Anton has never had anyone affect him the way Jude does and he's not quite sure how to act or feel. Jude's easy-going manner and brilliant smile make his heart beat nearly out of his chest and Anton dares to dream. Apparently, Jude feels the same way; even though he's only been with girls, Jude decides to ask Anton out anyway. Jude takes some flack about dating Anton, but he blows it off saying he doesn't care if they think he's gay or bi, because it's Anton he's attracted to, not his gender.
'Hearing' Anton's perspective gave me a clearer understanding of what a transgender person experiences every day, things that most people don't see as a problem. Fortunately, this story has a more positive slant than usually occurs in real life. It was wonderful to think about how things could be if only more people would just open their minds and not be so quick to judge. I especially loved Jude who was understanding and gracious with Anton. Jude encouraged Anton to be who he truly is rather than hiding it.
I don't have the space to put down all my thoughts and feelings about the transgender issue, but Matthew covers it in his special style of seriousness and humor, bringing up important points; yet he keeps it from being too heavy or didactic. There aren't many books about transgender teens that discuss the topic of being transgender, especially as well as Matthew does. This is one of the reasons I am highly recommending it to people of that age group. It's just as important that families, teachers, teens, and other adults, particularly those who associate with transgender kids, read this book as well. Support and sensitivity is especially important, because using the wrong pronoun, or implying the wrong gender, hurts more than anyone who is not sensitive to the subject can imagine. Thanks, Matthew, for the witty, informative, sensitive, and straightforward look at what it's like to be transgender.
NOTE: This book was provided by the author for the purpose of a review on Rainbow Book Reviews.
After being bullied unmercifully at his former school, Anton of 'Spy Stuff' by Mathew J. Meltzer, is starting a different one in hopes of having a new beginning. When his teacher asks him to introduce himself, Anton bristles; since he wants to remain as anonymous as possible, Anton tells her he'd rather not. This reply starts a small riot with the kids in the class, complete with throwing books, screaming, and swearing at each other, etc. Anton is alarmed, wondering if he's gone from the frying pan into the fire. Fortunately, Emma, one of his classmates, takes Anton under her wing and acts as a guide, explaining that they guys always act like that and they are actually friends.
Unlike most of us, Anton has to worry about what toilet to go in, changing in gym class, and wearing a skimpy vest (tank top) instead of a T-shirt because he doesn't want anyone to see his binder and discover he's transgender. Anton is afraid that if they did, he would be treated differently than if they consider him just “one of the guys”. Fortunately, the kids in this school seem friendly and open, particularly Emma and Jude.
Anton has never had anyone affect him the way Jude does and he's not quite sure how to act or feel. Jude's easy-going manner and brilliant smile make his heart beat nearly out of his chest and Anton dares to dream. Apparently, Jude feels the same way; even though he's only been with girls, Jude decides to ask Anton out anyway. Jude takes some flack about dating Anton, but he blows it off saying he doesn't care if they think he's gay or bi, because it's Anton he's attracted to, not his gender.
'Hearing' Anton's perspective gave me a clearer understanding of what a transgender person experiences every day, things that most people don't see as a problem. Fortunately, this story has a more positive slant than usually occurs in real life. It was wonderful to think about how things could be if only more people would just open their minds and not be so quick to judge. I especially loved Jude who was understanding and gracious with Anton. Jude encouraged Anton to be who he truly is rather than hiding it.
I don't have the space to put down all my thoughts and feelings about the transgender issue, but Matthew covers it in his special style of seriousness and humor, bringing up important points; yet he keeps it from being too heavy or didactic. There aren't many books about transgender teens that discuss the topic of being transgender, especially as well as Matthew does. This is one of the reasons I am highly recommending it to people of that age group. It's just as important that families, teachers, teens, and other adults, particularly those who associate with transgender kids, read this book as well. Support and sensitivity is especially important, because using the wrong pronoun, or implying the wrong gender, hurts more than anyone who is not sensitive to the subject can imagine. Thanks, Matthew, for the witty, informative, sensitive, and straightforward look at what it's like to be transgender.
NOTE: This book was provided by the author for the purpose of a review on Rainbow Book Reviews.
March 12, 2017
All of Matthew Metzger works are now on Kindle Unlimited!
July 3, 2016
This one blindsided me a bit. It was my first read by this author and the content is not usually what I would select in a potential read. But I thoroughly enjoyed it.
The story begins with Anton Williams, a gay/ftm transgender boy, who is starting his first day at his new school. He's dealt with bullying in the past and is determined to keep his transgenderism secret. Anton catches the attention of fellow classmate, Jude Kalinowski, and they hit it off.
Suddenly Anton has a boyfriend, and for once feels normal. As things progress between Anton and Jude, Anton has to make tough choices, like when and how to explain to Jude that he was born physically female. He has to endure the awkward discussions in class on transgender issues. He has to deal with the confidence crushing ignorance of his father.
But he also falls in love with Jude. And what a great character, Jude was. He stole the show, I think. Carefree, happy-go-lucky, no filter with a goofy sense of humor. Some of his dialog had me cracking up. Other moments of his were very endearing.
"...What? Stalkers are creepy! They go nuts and like...murder your squirrels and shit!"
"Squirrels? Where did squirrels come from?!"
"...Anton, I really like you. Like, really like you, crush at first sight shit, yeah? You're really cool, you're fun, you're fit, your shirt rode up a bit in PE last week and I got this weird urge to lick you--if there's something you need to tell me, then just tell me, and let me decide if whatever it is is something I'm okay with or not, yeah? Don't decide for me."
It was very enlightening to read about the struggles and fears that Anton faced. I couldn't imagine what trans teens go through on a day to day basis.
Overall I really liked the story. And the writing was nicely done as well.
*Favorite vocabulary word learned: acerbic(adjective): harsh or corrosive in tone
June 18, 2016
Bloody excellent!
August 17, 2016
Lovely.
Highly recommended.
Highly recommended.
January 8, 2017
A copy was provided in exchange for an honest review.
This is my first transgender story and it was EXCELLENT!!! Anton was born Natasha, but gender wasn't an issue as a young child. Wearing dresses didn't mean anything because Natasha was still allowed to play sports and have short hair. It wasn't until Natasha got her period at age 11 (wow, that's young) that things started to be confusing and traumatizing. When Natasha was having serious freak outs about her period, her parents took her to a therapist who stated she was having a normal reaction to a girl getting her period. Suddenly, Natasha says, "but I'm not a girl!." The light dawns; Natasha had never understood what the problem was - not understanding that she was meant to be he. Natasha's mother was 100% supportive, but her father, not even close. He refused to accept Natasha as anything other than his daughter.
When Natasha transitions (not physically or hormonally yet) to a boy, Anton, his parents get a divorce because his father was an unhealthy person in his life. Anton's mother moves in with her sister and Anton goes to a new school. I LOVE this new school. The kids in Anton's class are so NICE!!! And Anton is scared because the kids at his old school knew the truth about him and were horrible, horrible bullies. But not the new kids. Nope, nope. Emma, and Jude, and the rest of the gang are really accepting kids. (wish my high school had been that way.) For being 15 they talk like adults, using foul language, talking about sex and all kinds of other stuff, but they are still kids.
Anton is obviously nervous about the new kids at first because he doesn't know them yet. And Jude - sigh, Jude - he's just so dreamy. LOL :-D And Jude, who has never been attracted to another boy before, doesn't shy away from Anton. He fully believes Anton is a boy and pursues him anyway. Is it wrong to say this was totally hot about a 15 year olds courtship?
For being such a heavy subject matter, there wasn't a lot of drama or angst in the book. And that's because Jude and the gang are so understanding and supportive. If not for them being so cool, this could have been worse.
I'll be blunt and say that I was surprised at how graphic some of the "love" scenes were. I've never read a book with teenagers (the closest I've been is 17-18 years old), so I was really shocked at how much was written about what they did with each other. There weren't any truly graphic details; fade to black. But there was definitely more than I expected. This in no way turned me off the story. In fact, it made me more interested because Anton is still physically a girl (breasts and vagina), and there was a lot to learn about how a transgender person has sex. It's different for everybody and I've never given it a thought, so this was a good thing for me to see and understand Anton's limits. Jude was the BEST BOYFRIEND EVER!! And just was all cool about what he could and could not do/touch.
I really wish their story would continue because I want to know if they stay together - high school sweethearts who get married, you know? Maybe that story will come someday; until then, I see them still together and growing old with each other. :-)
I highly recommend this story and especially if you've never read a transgender story. In my opinion, this is the perfect book to start with because it's not IN YOUR FACE and preachy, nor is it too angsty or sad. It's just right. :)
This is my first transgender story and it was EXCELLENT!!! Anton was born Natasha, but gender wasn't an issue as a young child. Wearing dresses didn't mean anything because Natasha was still allowed to play sports and have short hair. It wasn't until Natasha got her period at age 11 (wow, that's young) that things started to be confusing and traumatizing. When Natasha was having serious freak outs about her period, her parents took her to a therapist who stated she was having a normal reaction to a girl getting her period. Suddenly, Natasha says, "but I'm not a girl!." The light dawns; Natasha had never understood what the problem was - not understanding that she was meant to be he. Natasha's mother was 100% supportive, but her father, not even close. He refused to accept Natasha as anything other than his daughter.
When Natasha transitions (not physically or hormonally yet) to a boy, Anton, his parents get a divorce because his father was an unhealthy person in his life. Anton's mother moves in with her sister and Anton goes to a new school. I LOVE this new school. The kids in Anton's class are so NICE!!! And Anton is scared because the kids at his old school knew the truth about him and were horrible, horrible bullies. But not the new kids. Nope, nope. Emma, and Jude, and the rest of the gang are really accepting kids. (wish my high school had been that way.) For being 15 they talk like adults, using foul language, talking about sex and all kinds of other stuff, but they are still kids.
Anton is obviously nervous about the new kids at first because he doesn't know them yet. And Jude - sigh, Jude - he's just so dreamy. LOL :-D And Jude, who has never been attracted to another boy before, doesn't shy away from Anton. He fully believes Anton is a boy and pursues him anyway. Is it wrong to say this was totally hot about a 15 year olds courtship?
For being such a heavy subject matter, there wasn't a lot of drama or angst in the book. And that's because Jude and the gang are so understanding and supportive. If not for them being so cool, this could have been worse.
I'll be blunt and say that I was surprised at how graphic some of the "love" scenes were. I've never read a book with teenagers (the closest I've been is 17-18 years old), so I was really shocked at how much was written about what they did with each other. There weren't any truly graphic details; fade to black. But there was definitely more than I expected. This in no way turned me off the story. In fact, it made me more interested because Anton is still physically a girl (breasts and vagina), and there was a lot to learn about how a transgender person has sex. It's different for everybody and I've never given it a thought, so this was a good thing for me to see and understand Anton's limits. Jude was the BEST BOYFRIEND EVER!! And just was all cool about what he could and could not do/touch.
I really wish their story would continue because I want to know if they stay together - high school sweethearts who get married, you know? Maybe that story will come someday; until then, I see them still together and growing old with each other. :-)
I highly recommend this story and especially if you've never read a transgender story. In my opinion, this is the perfect book to start with because it's not IN YOUR FACE and preachy, nor is it too angsty or sad. It's just right. :)
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