You Are Not Alone: Love Letters From Loss Mom to Loss Mom

by Emily Long

This book is a simple book of love written for you, a grieving loss mom, from other loss moms who have also heard those life-altering, soul-shattering words, “I’m sorry there is no heartbeat” or “I’m sorry, your baby is gone.” In the pages of this book, we share letters of love from our hearts to yours with the hope that, maybe, in the darkest, loneliest hours of grief, you will find a little bit of comfort in the words of another mother who has been where you are now.Our deepest desire is for you to know that you are not alone. We are with you. Although we desperately wish we didn’t have a reason to, we lovingly welcome you to our community of sister-mothers of loss. Let us wrap you in love and be a light in the darkness of grief.

59 pages, Kindle Edition

Published April 7, 2016

Reviews

[Ashley V]

After experiencing a 2nd pregnancy loss within the span of a few months I was feeling like I needed a pep talk, validation and commiseration, which this book helped provide. I started it after my first loss and revisited it during my second. I wish no one had to read this, but I appreciate the work done to make others feel less alone. While many of the contributors bring a religious perspective that I especially do not share after my losses (if you believe there is a God worthy of being worshipped who makes some people lose their children and others get to keep them, maybe think on that…) I value that these women took the time to share their stories and companion others in their suffering.

[Maria S · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book may have saved my life. After the loss of my son someone gifted this book to me in a care package. I read it immediately, pouring over its pages as the tears poured down my face. I didn’t feel insane anymore, I didn’t feel alone or like I was doing this grief thing *wrong*. It was as if someone had looked into my mind, heart, soul and wrote the words I couldn’t. Thank you to each mom who contributed to this beautiful and validating book.

[Kasi · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is a collection of letters from moms who have lost their babies. It’s an invaluable read that if you have lost a baby or a pregnancy yourself, you will feel heard and less alone. The voices, these letters, they touched my heart at a time that I needed them the most - after my third loss.

I hope you never need to read this.

[Brynley Hope · Rating 5 out of 5]

my daughter was born at 22 weeks. she passed 2 1/2 hours later. this collection of letters had many important points that i cannot believe or understand yet, but i hope i can someday.

some of my favorites:
"I understand that every crack on your heart is there because of love; a love so deep, so strong, so durable it supersedes death. I understand that despite the pain, losing them was worth the pain–the privilege of loving them far exceeds the heartbreak of losing them."

"My broken heart greets your broken heart and I honour the shattered parts of you that mirror the shattered parts of me."

"You’ll learn you know how to defy the impossible. You’ve been doing it from the very moment your child’s heart stopped, and yours kept beating. You do it with every breath and step you take. You’re doing it now. And now. And now."

"Your fingernails will become bloodied from clawing your way from the depths of despair. Your spirit will grow weary from fighting to survive. Your eyes will cry more tears than you ever thought possible. Your arms will ache an ache for which there are not words. For a lifetime."

"You are the one who gets to decide how, and if, you’ll survive this. You are the one who will figure out a way to survive the sleepless nights, and the endless days. You are the one who will decide if and when you’ll find a purpose again that means something to you. You are the one who will choose how you’ll live with the pain. You are the one who will decide what you’ll to cling to, what will make your life worth living again. You, and only you, get to decide how you’ll survive."

"You’re not any less than the mothers who’ve been gifted with children who will live hours, months, years more than your child did."

"It takes bravery and courage and profound love to mother a child you cannot see or hold or touch."

"You are strong. Whether you feel strong or not, you are. Even when you are on your knees in tears. Even when you wish you could have just left this earth with your baby. Even when the best you can do is simply drag yourself out of bed. Even in your darkest moments, you are strong."

[Christy Anderson · Rating 5 out of 5]

Powerful and validating

I’m not a new loss mama and instead years deep of missing my lost babies and this book was so powerful in validating my broken-heart is real and allowed. With 5 losses and each of them unique as the individual children lost the letters coming from each mamas unique experience was comforting to read. Not a club I ever want to “welcome” new members into but when someone is inducted due to loss this is an amazing book of love and acceptance and for those of us that have been living with our losses for years it provides validation that we all matter as do our children.

[Aubrey · Rating 5 out of 5]

What I needed to hear/read in this moment.