The Coconut Chronicles: Two Guys, One Caribbean Dream House

by Patrick Youngblood

When Patrick and Michael bought a rambling, dilapidated house on Vieques Island off the eastern coast of Puerto Rico, they could hardly believe their luck—or how much work lay ahead of them.

Renovating their little corner of paradise proved to be a crash course in how Vieques works—and how it doesn’t. Very few projects went according to plan, and many veered alarmingly off course. Along the way they learned a number of unforgettable lessons: concrete houses can have termites; five-foot iguanas aren’t necessarily more afraid of you than you are of them; emergency rooms don’t always stock medical supplies; and a property manager who paints your house orange instead of yellow may resign in a huff when you point out his little boo-boo.

The Coconut Chronicles is a lighthearted account of Patrick’s and Michael’s battle to create order out of chaos in the not always relaxing tropics.

Genres: Memoir

286 pages, Kindle Edition

First published November 11, 2014

Reviews

[Jessaka · Rating 4 out of 5]

Patrick and his husband Michael decided to buy a home off the coast of Puerto Rico on the island of Vieques. A. fixer upper In the mountains near the beach.They plan to live in it part time while working in Washington DC. The rest of the time it would be rented out.

I love books like these, and this time there was no exception. While Patrick and Michael didn't do the work on the house, it was still a fun read for they had to deal with the people on the island.

How about coming back to the island just to find out that the inside of your house was painted a different color than you had requested, a very colorful color? And wild things went like this often, Patrick's humor kept me laughing throughout the book.

[Rita Gardner · Rating 4 out of 5]

I frequently chuckled out loud as I read Patrick Youngblood’s book of misadventures in paradise – from his and his partner’s first visit to the island of Vieques through the whole (sometimes catastrophic) attempt at creating their dream vacation home. I particularly enjoyed the couple’s encounters with all kinds of characters as they maneuvered their way (sometimes successfully, sometimes not) through the “mañana” bureaucracy and purely absurd moments. These included a paint color fiasco, the attempt to find a realtor they could work with, and a truck ride with a totally blitzed gardener. Patrick describes the gardener’s truck as “crammed so full of empty beer cans and tequila bottles we barely excavated a place to sit” and the man’s allegedly “crazy friendly” dogs who were anything but chummy. Patrick’s conversational tone made me feel I was right with him as Casa Dos Chivos changes from just a hesitant idea to a fully realized dream.A fun read!

[Paula · Rating 4 out of 5]

I enjoyed the journey that Mr. Youngblood and his husband took us on. I have never been to Puerto Rico and certainly have not heard of Vieques. Reading their account of buying and renovating a vacation home, makes me want to join in the fun. Even with all of the waiting, surprises, and disappointments that came with it.

Mr. Youngblood was able to depict the characters in the book with a love/hate relationship and sometimes even finding yourself saying "I have one of those Janes and Michaels in my life". The story flowed to keep you interested. Descriptions of human, human life, and human imperfections.

It was not a memoir of hurt, distrust, abuse-which many memoirs convey but that of adventure.

Thanks Mr. Youngblood for sharing your story!

[Victoria Twead · Rating 5 out of 5]

Patrick Youngblood’s vivid descriptions transported me for several happy hours to this little known Caribbean island. Soon I, too, was worrying about the location of the staircase, and the trimming of the breadfruit tree. And thanks to Patrick’s ability to poke fun at himself, I was often roaring with laughter.

[Julie Haigh · Rating 5 out of 5]

What a fantastic book, very entertaining, so many laughs. LOVED IT!

I was given a free copy of this book to Beta read and review. This is a wonderful book. There's a lovely map picture in the opening pages and a beautiful picture, delightful, of their home. What a fantastic intro! It certainly gets your attention and makes you want to read on. Brewski-his word for beer-I like that! I love the wording-brewski, proffered! 'took a big chug of mine'-different and funny expressions/wording. Michael and Patrick had made their home in Washington DC before this for nine years, the dream home they refer to in the title is in Vieques, Puerto Rico. Smithereens-another good word-so much fun in these remarks. It's February and freezing cold-they talk of holiday, the Caribbean-going to spend a holiday there for Patrick's 50th birthday. I like the presentation-for example, these little sun symbols separating the scenes. There's so many laughs/quips in the book, chuckles aplenty! Those words! Original and funny! Such super ways to express things. He could have said things in less words but it wouldn't have been half as funny. Patrick Youngblood has such a way with words. I like this. A lot! In one scene he waits four hours in the ER-no meds in the hospital, the chemist is shut, after all that-same diagnosis as he made himself! A small aircraft they travel in reminds me of the one from Barbados to the Grenadines which I went in-a six seater-I sat next to the pilot! An amazing page-how does he find so much to say-and amusing-about being poorly?! Incredibly accurate, really flowing. I bet this guy is such fun to have a conversation with, in fact this book is in conversational style, probably just how he talks, it's got a great feel to it. He's one of those speakers where you just want to listen. Good comedy timing-a reference to something earlier just popped in for effect at end of chapter, just as a joke. Some of the history of Vieques is mentioned. This book really starts to move along and there's some disasters along the way cleverly punctuated with amusing remarks. Hitches with the building work-but, not like you think-quite a shock. Absolutely the right decision to have photos in the book. About the shops in the area and the different foods available-believe me, this chapter isn't just background and it's certainly not mundane-the author makes this so entertaining-many punchlines even in here! What a fantastic book, very entertaining, so many laughs too. LOVED IT!

[Rebecca · Rating 5 out of 5]

I was lucky enough to win this book as a prize and it was a delight. It’s so much more than a simple buy a house on a Caribbean island tale. For a start both Patrick and his partner Michael live in Washington meaning everything has to be arranged from a distance. They rely on an agent in Vieques to oversee the renovations and furnishings and they make as many visits as they are able to check on progress. Of course nothing runs smoothly and Patrick’s description of all the renovating disasters had me laughing out loud – then feeling guilty for chuckling at his misfortunes! Oh the story of the new garden!! Read it and weep! Every undertaking is fraught with difficulties – nothing is simple! I loved the addition of photographs to chart the progress and also to give us a glimpse of their slice of paradise. Patrick’s sense of humour shows in every page. His marvellous descriptions of the various Vieques characters and sights lift this memoir to another level as does his ability to laugh at himself. I do hope there is going to be another book as I do want to know about the pool.

[Lua · Rating 4 out of 5]

Full disclosure: I won a copy of this book from the author on the facebook page We Love Memoirs, but this is my honest review. I really enjoyed this story of Patrick and Michael, who buy and renovate a house on Vieques, an island of Puerto Rico. They have adventures and misadventures, and keep a sense of humor throughout. I'm so glad there were photos sprinkled throughout the book as it made it easier to picture the place as I read. Sounds like a wonderful vacation spot. Extra bonus: you can actually rent out their house for a week or weekend on the island if you want to (and you'll most likely want to after reading about the fun they have there)!! Highly recommended.

[Elizabeth Fowle · Rating 5 out of 5]

I was lucky enough to read this while staying in Patrick and Michael’s house. I found myself running around checking tiles, countertops, valences and paint colors, and calling the spiral staircase the “circle ladder.” Great book, especially if you’re familiar with Vieques.

[Lisa Wright · Rating 5 out of 5]

I’ve read many of the ‘go on holiday abroad, fall in love, buy a house’ type memoirs and this, by Patrick Youngblood, rates as one of the best
Firstly, Patrick and his husband, Michael, buy a house on a small tropical island off Puerto Rico with all the additional problems that involves. The tales of their struggles to find contractors and manage the renovations from DC, and attempts to get stuff dispatched to a house with no proper address make for fascinating reading (especially when these things aren’t happening to you). After being hilariously sacked by their project manager, Patrick and Michael then have to get the house ready for letting with more interesting characters popping up. I was soon hooked.
Secondly, Patrick has a writing style which draws the reader in. Irreverent and self-mocking at times, I felt by the end of the book that Patrick and Michael were good friends who I’d known forever and I was hoping to be invited to their next island party.
I admit to never having heard of Vieques before but now I want to visit asap as it sounds idyllic (bar the insectos, the hurricanes, the water issues etc etc!).
Highly recommended.

[Chris · Rating 5 out of 5]

Oh gosh, how I loved this book! It's everything I enjoy in a memoir: it's well-written, humorous, travel, relocating to another country, and colorful local characters. Patrick and his husband Michael visit Vieques, a small island off the Costa Rican coast, fall in love with the place and buy a home they can't afford. I know, blah, blah, everything goes wrong, and they can't afford it, right? Wrong! They scrape together money to get it into a fit state to rent out, but the process of doing so, and the eccentric characters they encounter along the way make for an entertaining and hilarious story. I laughed out loud so many times reading this book. I'm late to bed - again - because it's a real page turner and I just had to finish it, and write this review. My only disappointment is that Patrick has never written a sequel, and I really want to know what happened next. Definitely recommended. A fabulous, fun read.

[Cathy Monaghan · Rating 5 out of 5]

I very much enjoyed reading this book. What an adventure to move to an island where most of the people do not speak English and the author does not speak Spanish. Misunderstandings can be frustrating, as well as hysterical. I had several laugh-out-loud moments and I really enjoyed looking at the beautiful photos. Makes me want to take a trip to Vieques!!

[NayNay · Rating 5 out of 5]

Is extremely well written, and Youngblood’s wit and humour had me laughing out loud throughout the book as he described his and Michael’s journey, purchasing a home in Vieques and what they experienced with the extensive renovations required to fulfill their dream. I recommend it to fans of travel memoirs.

[Melissa Lemmons · Rating 5 out of 5]

One heck of a ride!

Wonderful book! Funny, well written and lots of colorful characters. I read this in a couple of days. I could t wait to see what happened next.

[Bodicia · Rating 5 out of 5]

Patrick’s dry humour had me spluttering my tea whilst reading this memoir about a house renovation Patrick and his husband Michael were doing on Vieques, an island off Puerto Rico. It all sounds just heavenly if you don’t mind the wildlife. Patrick manages to make this memoir into something more than just bricks and mortar. From the island’s practically horizontal estate agents to the yellow walls which caught an indoor tan, there is a snigger a minute as Patrick guides us through the tale from his sun lounger, while his husband beats up defenseless weeds and hides the joint credit card as often as possible.

If you are thinking of buying an island retreat, make sure your pockets are deep and your patience is a bottomless pit. Oh and the booze, pack plenty of it ;-)

[Caryl Williams · Rating 5 out of 5]

What an enjoyable read about a couple, Patrick and Michael, who live and work in Washington DC but decided to buy a house that needed renovating on Puerto Rico’s Vieques Island. The book has been written with such delicious, funny as hell, wit and humour by Patrick Youngblood that I felt like framing some of the quotes from the book and hanging them on my walls - either that or incorporating some of his witticisms into my everyday vocabulary and casually throwing them into conversations.
Highly recommended

[John · Rating 4 out of 5]

For a book that I selected as my free monthly Prime offering it's one I'd have felt fine about having paid retail. Funny, without being slapstick or milked for laughs. Patrick and Michael are a fairly well-off couple, but neither that, nor their sexuality, is at all in-your-face. Were I pushed to find anything "negative" to say, the actual renovation details weren't really my thing.

Highly recommended

[Pauline Armstrong · Rating 5 out of 5]

On a couple of occasions today, I promised myself a cup of tea and a little escape into the world of Patrick and Michael..... only to sadly remember that I finished the book yesterday! I enjoyed it very much - and particularly loved Patrick's self-deprecating style of writing. I felt like I'd spent some quality time with a couple of old friends, and was sad to be taking my leave. Highly recommended reading....

[Beverly Brown · Rating 5 out of 5]

PURE DELIGHTFUL ENTERTAINMENT!!!

I absolutely loved this book - from page 1 to the end. I laughed so much at Patrick's writing style and great humor. I lost a lot of sleep as I could not put this book down. I didn't want it to end! I will miss hearing about their gorgeous home and about island life. Thanks Patrick for several hours of total enjoyment and lots of laughs. I loved the book!!!!!

[Teresia · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great read!

So well written I could dream I was there too. The frustration of dealing with the various workmen and suppliers from so far away would have made this a miserable project for most people but Patrick handled it with humor. I enjoyed following the project from beginning to end. If you have ever considered running away to paradise you should read this book.

[Linda Rodriguez · Rating 5 out of 5]

The Coconut Chronicles

This is an excellent story! Being that I live in Vieques, everything he said in the book is true! But all, in all it is a beautiful place to live! If anyone comes to Vieques, and goes back to the states, you will find, you have to come back again and again! It draws you back!!

[Judy · Rating 3 out of 5]

Mildly entertaining tale of a couple creating their dream home on a small island off Puerto Rico by remodeling an old house to rent out most of the year, and escape to occasionally themselves. Like all stories like this everything cost way more than they estimated, and the workmen are characters.

[Joan Davis · Rating 4 out of 5]

A Delightful Read

I loved this book! It was a fun read and I wanted to hop the first plane. I always admire people who take a chance and to follow their dreams. Patrick and his partner did it with style and a sense of humor. Hoping we will hear more of their adventures.

[Lucy McCoskey · Rating 4 out of 5]

a lighthearted romp through a house renovation that took longer and cost more of course. I read it because it was about the culture on Vieques, a former US Navy target practice victim. the view of the Puerto Rican culture there was expected but nicely-portrayed

[Josh · Rating 3 out of 5]

A somewhat interesting tale of home renovation in the remote island of Vieques. The book had some good moments and some Kindle filler chapters. Some stories fell a bit flat or ended weirdly, but by the end, I was endeared to the book.

[Teri Gillen · Rating 4 out of 5]

Engaging storytelling

Youngblood has a great writing style. He tells their story in an entertaining way. I loved the many characters he has come to know in their paradise.

[Graham · Rating 3 out of 5]

Quite enjoyed this book. Well told and funny. Although I did find that the authors campness started featuring more and more towards the end. But still a good read

[Kim Ingham · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great adventure

Enjoyed reading this true remodeling experience. Happy read and great outcome. There is ALWAYS hope. Makes me want an island getaway.

[Alison]

kindle 286 (memoir)

[☘Misericordia☘ ⚡ϟ⚡⛈⚡☁ ❇️❤❣]

Panic, properly contained, can be remarkably motivating.
Q:
The guy was permanently plastered.
You could see it in his crimson-flecked
eyes, in his jaundiced skin, in the roaring
sourness of his breath—and if these
subtle signs didn’t convince you, there
was always the fact that he stood on his
roof in the morning and crowed with the
roosters.
(c)