A Lesson in Manners

by Misty Urban

The ten stories in this haunting and hilarious collection offer a how-to manual for dealing with love, lies, and loneliness. Sam Wesson, an up-and-coming country-western singer, plots to get pregnant without her boyfriend's consent, while Dacey, already pregnant, confronts her cheating husband over her secret checking account. Andrea rescues a stray dog to avoid facing her complicated human relationships. Sarah, an exotic dancer, longs for employment at a religious theme park, and Amelia dreams of creating impossible bonsai. Whether facing life-threatening illness or overwhelming loss, these characters scheme in humble, funny, sympathetic, and outrageous ways to find an etiquette that will deliver them from disappointment and shield them from crushing grief.

Filled with vivid characterization, dry humor, and luminous, searing prose, A Lesson in Manners tenderly embraces deeply flawed characters who learn that, in the face of frightening bewilderment or deep pain, a precise, brilliant attention to every moment is the only way we survive.

126 pages, Paperback

First published April 7, 2016

About the author

Misty Urban is a fiction writer, medieval scholar, freelance editor, and college teacher. She holds a Ph.D. in Old and Middle English and an MFA in fiction from Cornell University and lives in a small town along a big river in eastern Iowa.

Reviews

[Mary Davidsaver · Rating 5 out of 5]

After reading A Lesson in Manners: Stories by Misty Urban, I took the time to look up the definition of manners. I wanted figure out how “manners” fits into the title of Urban’s collection of distinctive short stories that covers such a wide swath of American life: from a country-western singer to a night-shift convenience store clerk.

Urban gives a unique voice to women who are arriving at crossroads of important personal choices. She includes a few males out of fairness. And with no fairness at all, she presents the reader with stark images of devastating illnesses.

This collection has depth, style, and shows great literary skill. There is no wonder why it was chosen for the Serena McDonald Kennedy Award among others.

Urban uses A Lesson In Manners: Stories to show us how we may find polite ways of viewing the habits of others. How a person’s outward bearing can hide the chaos of internal conflicts.

In the story of Sally, Urban tells us:

“…in a world full of war and terrorism, capitalist industry and vanishing ecosystems … there are still moments wherein one human being shows a small kindness to another, however forgotten or unobserved.”

Out of the many choices Urban presents, that is the lesson in manners I choose to hold onto.

You may very well choose another.

[Karen · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is an amazing book. Each story has so many layers, so much complexity that it's like eating an over rich dessert that you have to put down and digest for a bit before you continue.

[Mary Howard · Rating 5 out of 5]

When I first read the short story "A Lesson in Manners," in SISTERS: AN ANTHOLOGY, I was moved by the story and by the unusual way it was told. Re-reading it as the title story in this collection, I found it even more touching and provocative. An omniscient, second-person narrator both predicts and relives, for the "you" in the story, the timeline of losing her beloved sister. It is a story told with exquisite detail and pain. Why such unfair loss? is a question this masterful story cannot answer, but it asks it beautifully.

Then I started reading "The Memoirs of Same Weston," the second story in the collection, and right away a Tennessee gal named Ellen Slocombe is playing her steel-string and singing "The Corner of Whiskey and Vine," the song she knows will make her famous. She calls herself Sam Weston, after her probable and longed-for father. Her primary aspiration is to conceive a daughter with a guy who won't stick around, which is fine with her. She thinks she only wants the baby. Sam Weston's voice is pure little-town country and kiss-my-ass sure of itself, entirely different than the voice of story number one.

Story after story is told in a new, distinctive and authentic voice, complete with its own rhythms and fully formed fears and desires. An ivory-billed woodpecker, thought to be extinct, means the world of hope and fury to a desperately unhappy young wife. A shy supermarket checker pays devoted attention to a customer in the vain hope she will see a message he leaves for her on an obscure Internet site. A woman in Minneapolis adopts an injured dog and is caught in a very funny, very healing reunion with her brother. In "Planet Joy," my favorite, Caro has developed motion sickness after her sister's death. Only after Devi Swan, a leader at the Evanston Center for Expanding Consciousness, tells Caro that she has a spirit guide and asks, "She's here right now, isn't she?" does Caro find the joy in letting go.

These stories are beautifully written. Characters become more fully formed with every memory, every fantasy, every stumble, every small triumph. There is humor here, and pathos, and these stories will leave you with lots to think about.

[Terry · Rating 5 out of 5]

I picked up a copy of A Lesson In Manners that stopped me in mid-read of one of my favorite authors. I sat up and paid attention to her writing. Her prose are poetry. Misty has an unique ability to shape the voice to match her characters in her stories. These stories transported me into the places she created, so I could experienced her characters’ internal emotional landscape, and their relationships. I highly recommend her books to people who appreciate a beautifully written experience.

[Mark Davidsaver · Rating 4 out of 5]

I enjoyed every story. Besides the obvious motif of women protagonists making life decisions there is a darker thread through many of the stories. The author does a great job bring characters and situations to life. The dialog (from many regions) was lively and believable. I particularly want to note that the author's descriptions of characters and scenes was beautifully done.

[Lennox Randon · Rating 4 out of 5]

Urban has crafted 10 beautifully written stories of remarkable breadth. Each character is fully realized and their tales feel so real that I wonder how one person could write so many characters so deeply without actually experiencing their lives. I love the line, "You are not yet fluent in tears. You will be."
SPOILER ALERT--

The only flaw for me as a reader is that I want to know what happened to each character, but the author made the artistic choice to leave the stories open-ended. As a reader, I need that closure, but I understand that need is not universal.

[Jodie Toohey · Rating 5 out of 5]

I'm not a frequent reader of short stories, but I loved this collection. All of the stories grabbed me from the first sentence. They beautifully described the settings/scenes and told stories about many distinct characters, all with their own voices. In just a few pages, this author let me deep into a character's life, made me care for that character, and left me wondering about her when the story was done. As a novelist, I admire the immense talent and skill this must take. Beautifully written, entertaining, and insightful stories.

[ariestess · Rating 4 out of 5]

I got this book for free on Amazon. I found it to be a fascinating book.