Diary of a Wartime Affair: The True Story of a Surprisingly Modern Romance

by Doreen Bates, Andrew Bates

The true story of a surprisingly modern romance in war-stricken London

London, 1934. Doreen Bates is working in the same office as E, an older married man. In the years just before the war, they develop an irresistible attraction to one another and strike up a passionate affair. Doreen records it all with startling candour in her diary - secret midnight walks, countryside escapades and stolen moments of intimacy.

But Doreen starts to long for a child with E. Despite all the taboos of the time, and against the wishes of E, she is determined to become a mother - even though she knows that her decision will provoke anger and shame from her family, friends and colleagues. Eventually she gets pregnant and is amazed when twins are born during the war. However, Doreen faces an uncertain future - will E ever leave his wife and join his new family?

This is the story of a young woman forging her own path in a period of turbulence and uncertainty.

Genres: Nonfiction, History, Biography, Diary, Memoir

305 pages, Hardcover

Published November 3, 2016

Reviews

[Monica · Rating 4 out of 5]

Agony and ecstasy all rolled into one. A great read, I devoured every diary entry and re-lived with Doreen. I cannot think of a more suited account to be reading at this time of personal and global turmoil.

[Ceri · Rating 2 out of 5]

2.5/5 stars. Not what I was expecting!

[Sonia Gensler]

So many parts of Doreen's life were fascinating to me--the lectures and plays she attended, her struggle for recognition/respect in the work place, her love of long walks through the countryside, the day-to-day struggle to keep ones sanity in war-torn London. The "wartime affair" was my least favorite part, mostly bc it didn't seem the least bit romantic, and E was an absolute drip. But I give credit to Doreen for living life on HER terms.

[Adrian]

Doreen Bates was an ordinary Englishwoman who kept a diary in the 1930s while she had an affair with a married man 'E'. It was her greatest desire to have a baby and to have it with 'E' despite his being married to another. She persisted for years in getting him to agree to this until he finally did so. She gave birth to twins in fall 1941 which ends this diary. Bates had a successful career as a tax inspector, loved theatre and books and had an interest in psychology but it was her affair and the quest for children that is the focus of this book. An epilog at the end fills in a few details of the remainder of her long life.

[Trudy · Rating 2 out of 5]

The first 150 pages or so are rather banal diary entries, but the social history and the dogged determination of D to have a child as a single mother in the 1940s, is fascinating. I could not warm to any of the characters, particularly E, her lover, who came across as weak and selfish. However worth a read for the glimpses into a working woman's life in the 30s and 40s. Doreen is a middle class well educated and intelligent woman who is very honest with her feelings, incredibly determined and does not let social stigma and prejudice get in the way of what she wants or believes in.

[Andy · Rating 4 out of 5]

I bought this book on a whim and I did not regret it! This is a really fascinating account offering insights into the reality of living a normal life as a woman in the 1930s. It confirmed my conviction that the character and wishes of people do not change over time, only the morals and rules accepted by society do. Doreen's diary thereby underlines that the 1930s were not completely conservative and "backward" as they are sometimes presented today. Yes, there were restrictions placed on women and the laws that were supposed to govern the lives of unmarried and married women as well as unmarried mothers were sometimes just ridiculous when seen from a modern perspective. Nevertheless, this book shows that the reality was much more complex: There were men and women who accepted Doreen's decisions and helped her; it was in no way a retread of The Scarlet Letter.

Additionally, it was fascinating to see how Doreen's interests changed over time. Particularly riveting were of course the slowly increasing references to the looming war against Germany and the impact it had on her life. However, the diary also offers a wonderfully realistic account of the development of a long-term affair with all its ups and downs, waxing and waning interests. I did not always agree with Doreen's decisions or with E's behavior, but it was interesting to read because it just appeared so modern in every way possible and I really came to like Doreen by the end of the book.

Overall, I really enjoyed reading about Doreen's life and can only recommend this book for anyone interested in history and the female perspective on things.

[Margaret Galbraith · Rating 2 out of 5]

I found this very blah in most parts until the time of the war when there is a lot more detail rather than just the same old story each day. I'm not sure what I expected but I should have realised with the title as that is just what it is ... A rather boring account of an affair. I found it rather offensive in the latter part when she begins to talk about their love making then as f#^*+#% and did not think that was what someone of that era round have said but she obviously did. I wouldn't bother as I read far better before witching this genre of this time.

[Lesley · Rating 3 out of 5]

Besides my niggle about 'Wartime' in the title, I wish to cavil at 'surprisingly modern romance': because it struck me as wonderfully period. Some of it, particularly in the earlier parts, was rather repetitive, but there was some fascinating stuff here (though I will cop to, for personal research reasons, wanting more about women in the tax inspectorate, marriage bars, motherhood, and promotion prospects!).

[Minerva B. · Rating 3 out of 5]

Not sure how I feel about this book. It was hard at times to feel sympathetic towards Doreen since she was the other woman... Also the fact that E. never left his wife and just continued the affair was odd.

It is cool in the sense of it's a historical book. The fact that I'm reading someone's private thoughts makes it an interesting read, though pretty boring at times.

Not the usual book I read but somewhat enjoyable still.

[Naomi · Rating 3 out of 5]

Whizzed through this one - agree with other reviews that didn’t like the sound of E very much and was a bit frustrated that Doreen settled for him. But she can across as a smart and interesting woman and it was a fascinating glimpse into life at that time. It was very well written for a personal diary - her descriptions of nature and her walks were wonderful.

[Fay · Rating 2 out of 5]

Sorry ... I found this one a bit tedious - skim reading became a habit until the action started in the last third of the book. The insights into the reality of the war years was perhaps interesting but not all the 'does he love me, does he not' I suppose that is what happens in a real life diary.

[sgh · Rating 2 out of 5]

Extremely bizarre vibes - every other entry is her hating herself for the affair, and then the ones between are about all the places they’ve had sex outside. It’s very authentic, obviously, so if you were doing research into that period it could be useful, but it’s really dry if not

[Paul · Rating 3 out of 5]

An intriguing and eye-opening look at the life of a woman involved in a clandestine affair in London in the late 1930s and early 1940s, but a rather cool and distant style.

[Mariangela · Rating 3 out of 5]

A diary of a indipendent woman that during the WWII decided to do what she wanted and be happy.

[Lizzie · Rating 3 out of 5]

A fascinating historical document. Quite boring at the beginning but once she got to the war years I was gripped. I didn't care at all about the love story - E, the married man she was in love with, seemed very dull and selfish. But the narrator herself is wonderful and lively and captures so well the experience of living in London in the late 1930s and the gradual realisation that war is inevitable.