Shattered Prayers: The Testing of a Father's Faith

by Kenneth Ching

Kenneth Ching lived a comfortable life--with a great job, a big house, and an easy faith. He went to church and believed in God's goodness. But when his son is born with a serious and rare genetic condition, his life is thrown into terrifying chaos.

In this honest and raw memoir, Ching brings to life his experience of letting go while learning to truly trust the Savior he claims to know. Ching doesn't shy away from asking the hard Why does God answer some prayers but not others? How does prayer work? Is God even listening?

Shattered Prayers is ultimately a story about recognizing God's presence and faithfulness in the midst of brokenness. And how one man thought God ruined his life by giving his son a terrible disease, but eventually realized God was actually fighting to save his faith and his son's life.

Genres: Nonfiction

176 pages, Paperback

Published July 20, 2016

Reviews

[Erin Ching · Rating 5 out of 5]

It's hard for me to be an unbiased reviewer because this is my story too, even though it's told from a distinctly Kenny point of view - but I think this book is terrific. What I like most is that it doesn't shy away from the hard questions and the hard emotions. It is about finding your faith in the struggle, when there is not an immediate miracle cure. It grapples transparently with the ups and downs of faith as you're going through something hard, and it never spouts platitudes or empty sentimentality -- but nevertheless, it depicts a deeply hopeful and redemptive faith. I love this book and I hope it's helpful to many of you who are going through trials of your own.

[Tammy · Rating 3 out of 5]

Honest and heartfelt memoir by a father of a child with special needs. Four stars for honesty and for insights into how to just be with suffering people, but two stars for the writing style and the sometimes too harsh jabs at the medical profession.

[David Engelhardt · Rating 5 out of 5]

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[Kerry Hedden · Rating 5 out of 5]

Many Christians go through life never having their faith really tested; Shattered Prayers by Kenneth Ching is a true story and a memoir of the testing of his faith. Kenneth, Kenny, is a Christian and had lived a relatively easy and blessed life, great career, nice home, loving wife, good friends and he had just found out that his wife is expecting their first child.

The pregnancy seems completely normal, all of the tests are normal the sonograms look good and they know they are expecting a boy. Every day he and his wife pray for the health, both physical and spiritual health of the baby they have agreed to name Joshua.

The pregnancy continues as normal and in October Erin goes into labor. Once Joshua is delivered Kenny realizes that he seems to be struggling to breathe but none of the nurses seem worried. He returns to check on Erin who is now getting her breakfast so Kenny decides to check on Joshua as he heads to the cafeteria.

Joshua is gone from his nursery bed, and now Kenny begins to panic. He learns they have taken him to the NICU. From this point Kenny now walks you through the ordeal that he and Erin will now face as they find out that Joshua has been born with Pierre Robin Sequence, a genetic disorder where a child is born with an abnormally small jaw which can lead to all types of other disorders.

Kenny does a great job of explaining how helpless they felt as parents and the true struggles they had with their faith as God had not answered their prayer for a physically healthy child. He takes you through exactly how he felt when they thought they had gotten through one hurdle only to find out there were more to come.

He shows you some of the small miracles that some may over look when dealing with a sick child, like receiving a new job in Virginia where the difference in sea level helps Joshua finally be able to breathe properly at night or seeing him walk when you are continuously told he may never or that he is developmentally behind. He shows you how exhausting and frustrating it is deal with a sick child around the clock.

Through this journey he shows you how his faith grows and struggles at the same time. He lets you know how deep his struggle with God goes and how he is able to reconcile himself back to God. I think believers and non believers will enjoy this book. It gives you great insight into what parents of sick and/or disabled children struggles with and perspectives you may not have considered; everything from faith to fatigue to the simple unknowing what the next step is and the realization that this is probably going to be a life long journey.

I liked the book; it was open, honest and without pretense. It shows the very really struggles that Christians go through as their faith is being tested. It also illuminates the struggles families encounter when dealing a child that has not been born healthy. It is a story of truth, hope, acceptance, setbacks, miracles and the love of God.

This book was given to me by the publishers, Kirkdale Press for my honest opinion. To read all of my reviews go to Blessings N Bloggings

[Kareh Wiser · Rating 5 out of 5]

Shattered Prayers: A Testing Of A Father's Faith by Kenneth Ching is a beautifully transparent look at life through the lens of a father with a special needs child.

Kenneth Ching bravely shares his questions and uncertainty about the plan of God as he faces the reality of caring for a child with enormous special needs that at times are even life threatening. This book brings a close-up look at the details and dilemmas that are often hidden to the outside world when a family member has a severe physical and developmental challenge. The intense emotion felt throughout Shattered Prayers, as the reader is swept away by the author's narration, provide a tangible feel to what it might be like to live for a day in the life of this devoted mother and father. It is so well written, in fact, that often times during the reading of the book, it seems as though the reader is literally hearing every thought that Ching thinks.

As the author navigates a straight path into his heart, questions are uncovered that we may have thought before, but have never been brave enough to breathe out loud. This transparency releases a freedom that allows the reader to ponder the fairness of situations like suffering and tragedy. As you fall in love with the author's son, Joshua, you begin to unearth suppressed questions of your own as it relates to the hardships of life. In fact, Ching states that "We can ask hard questions (God is very big and is in no way afraid of or unable to handle hard questions), and we can even get a few answers or glimpses of things that help us understand, but God simply does not promise to answer our questions. He's not Google, He's God." The author's portrayal of a gracious and merciful God who allows us to come to Him for the answers flows throughout this work.

My take away from this book is three fold. First of all, I now appreciate to a much greater degree the incredible challenges that a family with a special needs child face on a daily basis. Secondly, I have a deeper comprehension of how to assist a family in this situation; that it is more effective to physically help in tangible ways and talk less...it really is okay and in fact sometimes better to not say anything in an attempt to "fix it". Finally, I am encouraged by Ching's conclusion that our faith is not determined by "our" faithfulness, but by "God's" faithfulness to us. God, through His son, has promised to radically save us and all we are asked to do is to trust in Him. Whether big questions, small questions, trials or mountain top experiences...the trust in a loving God and His Son, Jesus Christ is what truly matters in the end.

Shattered Prayers: A Testing of a Father's Faith by Kenneth Ching will be available for purchase tomorrow (7/20/2016). Don't miss the opportunity to read this poignant text penned by a clearly passionate lover of Christ...it will change you!

Thank you to Kirkdale Press for this complimentary review copy of Shattered Prayers. I was not required to give a positive review, but only to read the book in it's entirety and provide an honest opinion.

[L.L. Martin · Rating 5 out of 5]

*This review originally appeared on my blog. https://lightenough.wordpress.com/201...

I read this newly released book in just a few hours. The title and subtitle capture the book, and were well chosen. It is a memoir – a compelling true story of the first several years of life with a special needs child. Ching has a straightforward writing style, and the book was easy to read because the writing flowed. He shared enough details to tell his story, but not too many as to encumber it. Ching is refreshingly real and honest, appropriately sharing his struggles, not sugarcoating his pain and doubt through it all.

Prenatal ultrasound revealed that all was well, but baby Joshua was born with multiple health challenges and was air lifted to another hospital. Just when things would seem to be improving, a new problem would develop. It turned out to be a rare genetic disease. Perhaps another reason this book was a quick read for me was that I was a nurse for 18 years – all the medical jargon was familiar. Not that you need medical background to understand the book – Ching and his wife are lawyers – and all the medical care their son required was totally new to them and ushered them into a whole new world.

I think Ching and I share a similar personality type, as I sure related to the way he analyzed, second guessed, worried, and thought about things. If I was in his situation, my mental processes would be about the same!

The book presents a solid biblical worldview – a robust Christian theology of suffering – but in an indirect way. Throughout the book, beginning on the very first page, there are brief thoughts that provide food for thought – hinting at – but ultimately presenting a realistic approach to life through the lens of eschatological Christian hope.

There is valuable insight about how to help such a family. Ching shares incidences where people meant well, but were actually not helpful or even made things worse with bad advice or pious platitudes. Sometimes pastors were the worst offenders. Several times he emphasized the importance of being a quiet presence – just be there. You don’t have to say much of anything! There was a church that dropped off meals – literally incognito. The meal would be left at the front door with no interaction from the person delivering it. They deeply appreciated this, as they were exhausted from care-giving and tired of having to explain the same things about their son over and over again.

I recommend this book to you, and I think it can be appreciated by a wide variety of people and is not limited to a particular reading audience. It is a compelling memoir, that shares the pain of shattered life expectations, but ultimately anchored in the hope of the gospel of Jesus Christ but without being “preachy” or contrived. Read it.

[Debi Stout · Rating 5 out of 5]

When I was contacted about this book, I wasn't sure it was my kind of read since I had never heard of the author before. I also knew I was a little backed up on book reviews and didn't want to undertake anything I couldn't honor the commitment on, so I told the publisher I was running about six weeks behind on book reviews. They were completely fine with that timeline, so I accepted and they sent me the book.

I put it in my carry-on bag as I traveled from Florida to San Diego to visit my parents. As luck would have it, I was able to read this book cover to cover in one sitting - on a plane, that is.

The main character is the author, Kenneth Ching, who seems to have been dealt an idyllic life. He's a lawyer making very nice money and he and his wife, Erin, are doing very well for themselves. They decide they want to begin a family (in addition to their two pups), and Erin becomes pregnant. They do what every couple does, they attend the right classes, she takes the right vitamins and other prenatal care and then they have the ultrasound, at which time they find out they are expecting a normal and healthy baby boy.

That's where the story is ordinary. When the child, Joshua, is born, they learn he suffers from Pierre Robin Sequence, a genetic disorder where a child is born with an abnormally small jaw which can lead to all types of other disorders. He also has a rare genetic disease called 4q Deletion Syndrome as is discovered later down the line. Their worlds are rocked upside down with Joshua's diagnoses, and Kenneth's faith in God is tested to its limits. While he never loses faith, his hope is tested over and over in this true story.

We follow Ken and Erin as they learn the diagnosis, the treatment, the many surgeries, and the baby's suffering, all in the first year of his life. At the end of the story, the child is not healed, but he is growing and learning. While he will be slower than other children his age, he has hope for his lifetime. Ken and Erin go on to have a second child, a daughter, and deep in Ken's heart he believes she too will have PRS. When Zoey is born, they learn that she does not have PRS and is a healthy, normal baby.

What makes this book a must read for everyone is how the author is very honest and vulnerable. He shows us how he is feeling about God answering or not answering his prayers for his child, his wife, and himself. We see him struggle with depression and at the end of the day, we see his walk with God and how it doesn't fail him no matter what obstacles he is faced with in life. He doesn't sugarcoat his walk either - we get to see a real person and how he is faced with such a struggle in life.

I received a complimentary paperback copy of this book in exchange for my honest opinion and review.

[Joan · Rating 5 out of 5]

When Ching and his wife had their baby boy, Joshua was born with Pierre Robin Sequence, an abnormally small jaw causing the baby's tongue to be pressed into the back of the mouth. Joshua was taken to NICU as he had difficulty breathing. Then the flight to a children's hospital and the possibility of additional disorders.

Ching has given us an account of his life during that trying time. He is very honest in his messy feelings. His hope is that others going through trials will see that they are not alone. He also shows that God can meet us when we are at our worst.

This is a moving book. Ching is very open about his experiences. He struggled with his faith, at times wondering if God had caused his son's troubles, wondering if he could trust God, wondering if God would help Joshua. “And, yet, I keep praying. I pray angrily. I pray cursing. But I keep praying.” (45) He came to the realization that God did not give the disease to Joshua. “God is waging a holy war through these people and things, and he's warring to save Joshua's life.” (53)

Ching shares many of his spiritual insights, especially those that can be gained only through suffering. He writes about the experience being a marathon, having to have strength for the long period of tests, surgeries, therapists, and feeding tubes.

He has insights for visitors, too. He writes of his feelings when a local pastor told him the “Remember, God is sovereign” platitude. For those coming alongside, Ching writes, “They have permission not to say anything at all.” (89) “Showing up is good enough.” (119) Those ministering to others in need would benefit from reading this book and paying attention to the insights it contains.

I highly recommend this book to those who are suffering. Reading this book will help you realize you are not alone in your struggles to trust God. Like Ching, you will realize that you can come through the experience still loving and trusting God. You may not have many answers. God did not promise to answer all your questions but He did promise to save you and ultimately wipe away every tear.

I received a complimentary copy of this book from the publisher. My comments are an independent and honest review.

[Mary Lou · Rating 5 out of 5]

Book Release Date: July 20, 2016

Shattered Prayers is the true story of a young family’s emotional, physical, and spiritual struggle when their first child was born with multiple special needs. Ching delivers a book that voices the cries of doubt and desperation of parents whose children have a life-threatening condition. The Bible euphemisms given to him wounded him rather than helped him. He says,

“I am tired of having to tell everyone how well everything is going and how faithful God is. I suppose it is better than telling them that things are very difficult and I often doubt God’s goodness because if I say anything like that, people feel the need to “encourage” me. People who have been through a similar health crisis can be encouraging. But people who haven’t usually can’t. At least not with their words. I think they feel that they have to say something. If I tell them I am struggling, they feel obligated to help. But they can’t help because they don’t know what they are talking about. You can’t help a drowning man if you don’t know how to swim. It’s okay to say nothing. It’s good to say nothing…Saying nothing says a lot; it says ‘This is so difficult it leaves me speechless.’ It shows solidarity with the person who is suffering” (Kenneth Ching, Shattered Prayers: The Testing of a Father’s Faith, Kirk Dale Press, 2016, pp. 88-89).

Ching describes the many people who are like Job’s friends giving rather useless advice from their limited perspectives. He also talks about the frustrations as well as the celebrations in dealing with a myriad of health professionals—excellent doctors, incompetent nurses, endless bureaucratic paperwork—the failures and the successes in the medical world.

The book is very honest and very necessary in our quick fix society. It will be a comforting read for those who parent special needs children. It is a must read for those who don’t.

M.L. Codman-Wilson, Ph.D., 7/22/16

[Sandy · Rating 5 out of 5]

Kenneth Ching writes about how his seemingly perfect life is shaken when his first child is born with special needs. His memoir takes you on a path of the medical needs of his child though doctor visits and hospital stays while realizing that doctors do not have all the answers and are not as perfect as we would like to imagine. What makes this book a must read for everyone is how the author is very honest and vulnerable with questions about how to pray, what to pray for and realizing that faith in God is just that, faith.