不中用的我仰望天空

by Misumi Kubo

每一個人，都有屬於自己的幸福，
然而，對十六歲的齋藤卓巳而言，「幸福」這個詞卻彷彿既在眼前，卻又不切實際。

純真而懵懂的卓巳愛上了一個無法受到祝福的對象；
那是一位無處可去、只能藉著Cosplay掩飾自己哭泣面容的少婦小杏。

卓巳的深情撼動了小杏，也讓小杏從渾渾噩噩的生活中解脫，
漸漸找到屬於自己的勇氣與靈魂；

然而，這終究是一段不被允許的戀情。
當兩人的戀情曝露在陽光下時，猛烈的風暴也隨之而來！
暗戀著卓巳的少女七菜、小杏那怯懦卻又矜持的丈夫慶一郎，
一直陪伴著卓巳、貧窮卻又堅強的好友良太，
親手接無數嬰兒來到世間、卻始終拙於面對情感的母親壽美子……

全都聚集在這小鎮上，
他們渴望幸福，卻又跌跌撞撞、疲於奔命，隨著看不見的蜘蛛之絲，一點一滴改變了自己的命運。

Genres: Japan, Fiction, Japanese Literature, Contemporary, Asia, Short Stories, Literature

304 pages, Hardcover

First published July 20, 2010

About the author

Misumi Kubo is a Japanese writer. She has won the R-18 Literary Award, the Yamamoto Shūgorō Prize, and the Yamada Fūtarō Prize, and she has twice been nominated for the Naoki Prize. Her work was adapted into the 2012 film The Cowards Who Looked to the Sky.

Reviews

[s.penkevich [hiatus-will return-miss you all] · Rating 4 out of 5]

We are all bound together and the care—or lack thereof—we give for each other is what shapes all our lives. Misumi Kubo’s So We Look to the Sky, explores in earnest the human connections between us all and the ways a shocking moment can reverberate through a community. The book opens with a bang when footage of a teenage boy having cosplay sex with an older woman is put on the internet by her angry husband, and each subsequent story falls away from this like shrapnel from the blast. These five stories move with individual trajectory and interior lives yet are still always caught in the orbit of the initial scandal and the growing gossip. Through these five sections, So We Look to the Sky has an immediacy that pulls you ever closer in proximity to these character’s struggles and stories and this multifaceted novel is a moving look at bullying, bodily agency, sexuality, relationship dynamics and the ways in which we must care for one another and the effects that has on the world.

A major success in Japan upon release, So We Look to the Sky has been beautifully translated into English by Polly Barton. The writing flows so well here, with each story having a nuanced first person perspective and voice that is well served to remind us how unique and individual we all are. Yet despite our individuality, Kubo ultimately shows how connected to one another we are as the ever-tangling web of interpersonal relationships directs each character as they bump against each other down the corridors of life. From sexual relationships to caregivers, Kubo examines the line between healthy connections to taboo or toxic relations and the implications behind them.

The book opens with teenage Takumi and his secret affair with Anzu before switching to her perspective and her life story of abandonment, bullying and an unhappy marriage pressured into having a baby their bodies cannot produce. The book shifts to Nana, Takumi’s girlfriend, as she realizes ‘you could go around giving people cute smiles all you wanted, but nothing good came of it,’ and struggles to understand her brother who had run off to join a sex cult. Next is Ryota (my personal favorite story), Takumi’s best friend who is caring for his aging grandmother and trying to rise out of life in the projects under the tutelage of an older coworker who wishes to open a cram school for students living in poverty. Finally the novel returns to Takumi’s household with his mother who runs a natural birth clinic and is overworking herself to provide for her son and ex-husband who cannot support himself financially. This is an orchestra of voices and amidst all the sexual content and heartache we see a portrait of those in society who are crying out for help in a sea of people who are usually hardpressed to lend a hand.

‘It’s really difficult to draw lines, you know. Between love and lust.’

Sexuality plays a major role in this novel. It is very sexually graphic at the beginning, yet not for purely erotic shock purposes though the shocking nature of it is meant to be a stark contrast from the mundane and bleak everyday existence these characters face. ‘Sometimes when sex is dangled in fron of you like a carrot, all you can do is run straight for it,’ Nana’s older friend muses, ‘however ridiculous you know you might look to other people.’ The people the characters choose to align themselves with are not always the best choices and the fallout almost always spills over onto others. Especially when children are involved. Much of this book is very tragic and the loss of love, be it romantic or the abandonment of a parent, bruises the reader along with the empathetic cast of characters. Sex is also a favorite soil for gossip to grow, and each character finds themselves haunted by echos of gossip related to their sex lives, most notably Takumi but also his mother’s past affair or Ryota’s tutor, Taoka, dealing with the stigma of gay men being assumed to be sexual deviants as he battles himself to atone for past transgressions. ‘There’s parts of me that are unbelievably awful,’ He says, ‘so unless I make the other parts unbelievably good, I’m done for.’

From sexuality, however, comes a large discussion on the lack of women’s agency in society. Through the book we see many perspectives on how fertility seems to be what is most valued of the women in society and Anzu’s lack sends her into a spiral as her already fragile sense of self is bombarded with disappointment and anger by her mother-in-law. Her story felt akin to the works of Sayaka Murata’s Earthlings in that regard. Nana also examines the way all that is expected of her is to find a man and bear children, which doesn’t inspire her to rise above her self-image as unintelligent and unambitious. Though that changes when she meets Takumi’s mother and feels empowered at the notion of being a midwife.

Role models and caregivers are seen as vital in our lives here and Kubo details in many ways how we are reliant on the care and support of others. This is most moving in the Ryota story. He is a boy for whom ‘the sort of events people in the town spoke about with deep frowns on their faces were a fact of life for me.’ Kids from the projects have a social stigma as being bad children who will grow into bad people and nobody expects anything of him. This becomes a self-fulfilling prophesy when the stigma is internalized and becomes a way society keeps the lower class low. Ryota has no interest in his own future until Takoma takes an interest in his education. The story is a really powerful and moving look at how someone simply believing in you can affect a great change. The story also shows how social class compounds struggles for those at the bottom, and while Ryota rises to the top of his class he is struggling and starving as he tries to care for his grandmother with alzheimers and dodge collection agencies after his mother who has fled town, all with no money to feed himself with. This, combined with the final story, really deliver an emotive punch that makes the novel sting deep in your heart long after finishing.

‘Wherever he is tonight, please don’t let him be feeling too lonely.’

Full of taboos and troubles, So We Look to the Sky is a truly beautiful novel that rises above the gossip and muck within its pages. It is a reminder to be good to one another, because bullying and abuse follow everyone around long after and leave a residue on all who come near. This is a very tender novel that reminds us that we all make mistakes and people are more complicated and nuanced than their worst decision. It is a deep look at the way society is constructed to judge one another to make oneself feel better, to keep people beneath you while rationalizing your own bad behaviors. While we are all individuals, what is society but the collective force or individuals and Kubo’s novel is a breathtaking reminder to love and give love in order to help us all grow.

4/5

[Thomas · Rating 4 out of 5]

A profound novel about characters who may seem simple on the surface yet have very complex lives. These five linked stories center a high school student who has cosplay sex with an older woman, a sad housewife obsessed with anime, a single mother and midwife who works herself to the bone to provide for her son and her mediocre ex-husband, and more. So We Look to the Sky follows their ordinary day-to-day lives while capturing profound themes related to gender and women’s (dis)empowerment, online bullying and abuse, and the healing power of adult role models and caregivers.

I found this book addictive. Even though the novel stays within the bounds of realistic fiction – no murder, no magical realism, no mystery/thriller elements – the details of these characters’ lives felt so vivid immediate. From the sensory images of how the characters interacted with the weather to the sharp, poignant dialogue between characters who hurt or supported one another, I felt invested in the many struggles and few hard-won victories in So We Look to the Sky. I think the theme of powerlessness connects the main characters in these five linked stories: all of these characters are high school students or women, and the novel does an excellent job of portraying how they do their best to cultivate some form of a meaningful, satisfying life even while facing patriarchy and classism.

The two final stories almost elevated So We Look to the Sky to a five-star novel for me. In “A Goldenrod Sky,” we follow Ryoka, a high school student who struggles to make ends meet with no support from his parents, all while looking after his mentally-deteriorating grandmother. This story ended in a way that reinforced for me how a caring adult who believes in you can really alter the trajectory of your life. I felt my heart soar and also breathe a sign of relief for Ryoka at the end of the story due to the mental space he finds himself in. In the final story, “A Pollen Nation,” we read about a midwife who has to work and work to carve out a living for herself and her son, who then finds out about pornographic images of her son that got leaked online. Though in vastly different contexts, the protagonist of this story reminded me of Sunja from Min Jin Lee’s Pachinko , a woman who has gone through so much shit in her life, in large part because of sexism, and how she manages to still cultivate some form of a happy, hopeful ending. I loved the unsentimental positive way this story concluded and its overall message about how even if you have suffered again and again, new possibilities await if you do not close yourself out to them.

I only give this book four stars instead of five because a couple of the characters or their motivations felt either unrealistic or unexplained to me. For example, in the first story, a high school student has cosplay sex with a much older woman (warning: in the United States, this would have counted as statutory rape, though I googled and it looks like the age of consent in Japan is 13.) While I understand that adults can manipulate teenagers for sure, I felt that the way the main character in the first story was written did not sufficiently explain how and why he developed an emotional attachment to the older woman. I felt a similar way about a few other characters in the novel, like the cruel husband in the second story and the quirky brother in the third story. I’m not sure if it’s too much to ask for within the context of five short stories, but I wanted just a bit more depth in these side characters to help explain their desires and actions.

Overall, I would recommend this novel to those who want a quick and immersive reading experience. It is sexually explicit, however, it does not feel like the author uses sex for cheap shock value, especially after the first story. I want to read more translated fiction now and I’m hoping other works can live up to the high standard set by So We Look to the Sky!

[Debra · Rating 4 out of 5]

Translated from Japanese, So We Look to the Sky, was a best seller and award winner in Japan. This book has connected stories beginning with an affair between a teenage Takumi and an older married woman he knows as Anzu. Their rendezvous take place in her apartment and involve cosplay sex. Their liaisons are made public by her husband and frames the other stories. Each involves their own issues ranging from love, loss, sex, fertility, bullying, public humiliation, and the roles women play in society.

This was an interesting and raw book. Each chapter has a different POV with characters that we have seen in other chapters. There is a connectedness in this book. It did leave me wanting to know more about the characters and what happened to them. The story is engaging, frank, at times heartbreaking and interesting. This book was translated, and everything flowed nicely.

I received a copy of this book from the Publisher and Edelweiss. The opinions are my own.

Read more of my reviews at www.openbookposts.com

[L.S. Popovich · Rating 4 out of 5]

Contemporary Japanese novelists are trying to invent the Young Adult genre. But they haven't married content with style.

The simplistic writing of this highly adult novel put me in mind of similar translations I have read in the past few years - particularly Mieko Kawakami's Heaven - where the obsession with high school drama leads to a literary descent into the darkest corners of the human psyche.

A quintessentially modern book, this novel interweaves cosplay, pornography, puerile character reactions to disturbing and socially awkward circumstances, marital strife, family values, internet culture, bullying, and other themes we have seen explored thoroughly in media of late.

The brazen explicitness and the close perspective lend a startling realism to the work. If the reader steps back and analyzes the characters as satire, they are left to ponder the intricacies of human cruelty and our incapacity for social independence. Read it with a lens toward Japan's history of adaptation to Western values and appropriation of American immorality. It is fairly nuanced, but overly literal. An argument against procreation.

Anyone who reminisces fondly about their teenage years fills me with cringey doubt. That larval stage of life was so disturbing to me, and this novel points out the horrifying ordeals of interaction and development which contribute to a mature understanding of oneself after the progressive narcissism which youth are heir to.

[Algernon · Rating 4 out of 5]

“It’s really difficult to draw lines, you know. Between love and lust, and that sort of thing, I mean. I think the best thing would be to get to the point where you feel like there isn’t any need to make those kinds of distinctions.”

I’m adding the name of Misumi Kubo to my constantly growing list of ‘good’ weirdness coming from Japan, once I decided to expand my literary horizons beyond the obvious choice of Murakami.
This is a debut novel, beautifully translated into English, and it might produce some awkwardness in the explicit nature of the material and in the occasional pacing issues of the narrative, but it has grown on me with each new character arc introduced.
Of which lead characters there are five, each delivering a first person novella that is directly connected to the chapter that went before. They are passing the narrator’s wand from one person to the next, as in the relay race at a running track event.
I liked the changes in perspective, the new angles offered for the events already described, the getting to know of the main actors first from their own POV, and then through an outsider’s eye. Because this is a character study, not a plot driven novel.

We start with Takumi, a shy teenager seduced by a married woman at an anime convention. The couple meets in secret at an apartment where they dress as their favourite anime heroes and role play their darkest sexual fantasies. That’s where the warning about rushed judgements about love and lust first comes into play.
Next chapter we hear from Anzu (Satomi) , the married woman who is forced by her husband’s mother to go to a fertility clinic, because her only role in the family is to produce children. Bullied since childhood by other school kids, and now by her husband and mother in law, Anzu escapes into the imaginary world of her anime comics.
When images and movies of Takumi and Anzu’s liaison are leaked on the internet , the ensuing scandal is described by Nana, a teenager who is secretly in love with Takumi and who hopes to lose her virginity to him. Nana’s family life is also broken, with a depressive mother and a brother who was pushed to excellence at studies until he burns out and runs away to a weird cult.
Next young man to get the limelight is Ryota, nicknamed Goldie, a school friend of Takumi who lives in the worst part of town.

Project kids – that was what the people from town called us. Poverty, benefits, alcoholism, child abuse, personal bankruptcy, suicide, murders – the sort of events people in the town spoke about with deep frowns on their faces were a fact of life for me. The kids in the projects grew up surrounded by adults with eyes like those of the giant salamanders that lived in the swamp – tiny, dull, barely visible.

By now, the main theme, the thread that links all these people and their stories together, becomes clearer: growing up in this modern world is hard, as starting up your love life as a teenager is probably the most traumatic and fraught with perils part of becoming an adult. The internet and the loss of privacy in these particular examples are exacerbating the alienation the young people experience.
Ryota’s story is for me the turning point in the novel, from dismal to hopeful, as he tries to make the best of the raw deal he got at his start in life by hard work, study and by caring for others, in particular for his senile grandmother.
I like to think that the title of the book is inspired by that famous quote attributed to Oscar Wilde: ‘We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars’
The people we meet here, these project kids and young adults, need to look up to the sky and find there some strength to save themselves, because nobody else will.

Well, maybe there is someone.
The last linked novella is told from the perspective of Takumi’s mother, an exhausted woman who tries to keep her private birthing clinic afloat while witnessing her son’s descent into suicidal depression.
Some sense of adult perspective was welcome for me after so much teenager angst ( I include Anzu here, because she is still very young at heart). I even managed to find in this last story a good explanation of how Misumi Kubo managed to seduce me with her unadorned, sometimes deliberately shocking, but direct and sincere style. Unlike many Western young authors who feel the need to become partisan and loud in their defence of the latest social crusade, who turn their stories into political manifestos, this author has chosen the path of subtlety and understatement, of letting the message seep through drip by drip, indirectly and from context, instead of putting slogans into the mouth of her characters.

In fact, it had dawned on me only very recently that the things I truly wanted to get across to others were actually few and far between, and they didn’t have to be conveyed in a loud voice or even in words at all.

So, yes, the gutter is a crushing presence in most of our lives, but we are still alive on this wonderful planet that is begging us to change our destructive ways. It’s probably our children that will have a better chance of rescuing whatever can be salvaged from the pyre, and this last story was well chosen as the conclusion to this under-appreciated novel (only 300 ratings here on Goodreads?)

Even if I knew they’d be gone in just an instant, like this scene outside the window would be, I would still do all I could to help the babies that came into this world.
So come, I said to myself, come and be born.

[Anita · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really enjoy the translator, Polly Barton. I've read other books translated from Japanese by her, and this one is no exception.

So We Look to the Sky started off in such a way that I didn't know that this book would be for me. However, Misumi Kubo takes an extreme situation to set up the vignettes of her characters within. Reading about these characters' lives after such an event, and their relation to it as well as each other unfolded in a genuine and meaningful way. Throughout these vignettes, the characters are closely connected - they directly know each other - however as their own lives unfold, we meet new characters who add great depth to the book. Even though it begins with the climax, so to speak, the beauty of the book lies in the the exploration of people and their internal character, as well as the inevitability that time does continue on.

I adored the book, and look forward to more from the author and translator, and would recommend it to those who enjoy contemporary literature, contemporary Japanese literature, and translated literature.

Thank you to Netgalley and the publisher for providing me with an e-copy.

[Cassie · Rating 4 out of 5]

So We Look to the Sky begins with explicit cosplay sex (a phrase I never expected to write), dropping readers into the middle of an affair between a high school student named Takumi and a married woman ten years his senior. In a series of five connected stories, each offering a different perspective, the narrative spans out to explore the everyday lives and experiences of people connected to Takumi in both minor and major ways.

With themes of class, morality, and sexuality at its core, So We Look to the Sky is a thoughtful examination of what it means, very simply, to be human: the mistakes we make, the various ways we alternately take care of and hurt each other. It's an incredibly genuine book with deep, emotional characterizations, and each one of the stories broke my heart in one way or another. In these stories, Misumi Kubo explores what it's like to be a sexual being in a society where sex is both largely unacceptable, and also biologically necessary for the continuance of life. It's fierce and feminist.

The writing is smooth and engaging, with Kubo's searing storytelling flawlessly translated by Polly Barton. The only thing I wanted was more resolution for these characters that I had truly come to care about -- but I suppose the best books always leave you wanting more. I would recommend this to anyone who enjoys Japanese fiction in translation, contemporary fiction with complex characters, and stories with a feminist bent. Thank you to NetGalley and Arcade for my copy in exchange for an honest review.

[Afi (WhatAfiReads) · Rating 5 out of 5]

Will need time to properly write my thoughts out for this, but one thing's for sure, this is effed up as it is depressing and melancholic.

My brain literally in shambles after reading this. Definitely impactful and I'll be thinking about this book... for a very very very long time.

Personal Ratings : 4.5🌟

Vile. Shocking. Just ... wow.

An interconnecting stories, told from different characters interwoven with one another.

Writing----> Amazing, just love how she wrote everything here. The scenery, the feels, the musings of each character, and the interconnection of each character in here.

Characters ----> The fact that they're so messed up and yet you still feel sorry for them . The most sorry I had for was for Takumi and I hated the adults had ruined everything for him, and the fact he's still so very young, just shows the effects of underage exposure to indecent intercourse.

Themes

Sexuality
The overall theme of this book consists of the topics of sexuality, how taboo it is, and how vile the darkest parts that humans can go.

An older woman having cosplay sex with an underage boy?
A genius who got into a sex cult?
A pedophilia who wants to teach but has urges?

This book for me really showed how indecent exposure to sex can often come more harmful than not, especially if you're exposing it to children that are younger than you. Whats sad about this book is that, every single character has their own baggage they had to carry and its the product of society that led them to have a life as that.

This book really really really boggled my mind as to how vile and disgusting these acts are and that they exist in the real world. The fact that it's more common makes it scarier. Being that the idea of love and lust was distorted to a point that it will mess you up as a person, and lowkey, as a reader, it really leaves you unsettled after reading this.

"It's really difficult to draw lines, you know. Between love and lust."

The author had done a splendid job in exploring this theme and the fact it can make you very uncomfortable showed how wrong the acts are morally but once going into the psyche of the person, you can't help feel sorry for them. Its messed up. Really. And I hate that the actions of a person affects a young person's mental-state-of-mind to a point it will make them unable to live their lives as a normal person.

Womenhood
Another main theme that the author highlighted are on womenhood, and highlights more in fertilization and how society views a woman's role in marriage. From Satomi's pressure from her mother-in-law to have children, to the number of tryouts that she had to try, to the constant criticism in her inability to have children, and also we get a glimpse of the world of childbirth and how women had to limit their options to a point that they feel the need to have a "normal" birth as to deem to become a good mother.

“I knew that to put it bluntly, embracing “totally natural” births meant embracing all those lives that would be ‘naturally’ eliminated by such a thing.

As we get a POV of midwife in charge of giving birth, I feel that the author did a splendid job in bringing this topic to life. In the hardships of women being objectified, they also don't have their own say for their bodies, up to the obsession of society to have normal births just to deem you as a succesful mother. I felt so much whilst reading this and truly, most women STILL STRUGGLES with this belief all over the world. The pressure from families, in laws, your marriage and also society viewing you for your purpose rather than you as a person.

How The Internet can Ruin A Person's Life
Its scary how something so far fetched can really ruin someone's life. While this theme is somewhat subtle, I feel that the author had done a wonderful job in showing how the web and its mass connection had been able to help to connect dots on certain things, but, when used wrongly, it can lead to disturbing places that will ruin a person's livelihood.

The author was really smart in showing how humans are somewhat interwoven in a tight net that leads us to be in the know, even with the things that we didn't want to know.

“"Our planet, floating in darkness, was covered in a web made of silky, translucent, spider's thread, and every time words or images or recordings came and went across those spindly fibers, they would glisten very beautifully."

This part was so effed up to me, to a point that it just blew my mind.

There are other themes such as bullying, after-effects of bullying and some topics that I feel that it will be draining for me to elaborate on. However, this book does show the affects of either being too exposed to something that can come more harm than it doesn't. The writing reminds me a lot of Murata's writing in Convenience Store Woman, where the characters are odd and often deemed as 'weird' in society. Whilst this book's theme carries a heavier theme, being that the very act that the characters did can literally put them in jail, its also a reflection of life and our society now; in which the need to feel wanted and loved to a point they find it in places they aren't supposed too.

The melancholy in the passages and the musings of life in each character has led me to believe Kubo is an amazing author and Polly Barton translated this wonderfully. Definitely a masterpiece and whilst it fucked me in the head so bad, its also a read that I will remember for very long time.

[pae (marginhermit) · Rating 5 out of 5]

u know its a good story when I was left with WTF at the end of every chapter. helpless adult, confused youths, a pedophile trying to repent for his sin…

my favorite: A Goldenrod Sky.

[emily · Rating 4 out of 5]

'Turning my head, I could see the gray housing projects looming up behind the narrow chimney of the crematorium. Project kids—that was what the people from town called us. Poverty, benefits, alcoholism, child abuse, personal bankruptcy, suicide, murders—the sort of events people in the town spoke about with deep frowns on their faces were a fact of life for me. The kids in the projects grew up surrounded by adults with eyes like those of the giant salamanders that lived in the swamp—tiny, dull, barely visible.'

4.5 — finished the whole thing in one go. It's been a while since I've read almost 300 pages all at once. An easy read. A little messed up, and overall a brilliantly written novel. Each chapter written in the perspective of different characters — but all connected in a way or another. My favourite one being the 4th chapter in the book, 'A Goldenrod Sky' — written in the perspective of my favourite character in the book, Ryota. Will post a more thorough review later.

Also, wonderfully translated by Polly Barton. I've heard good things, but this is my first experience of her writing/translation, and I'm very keen to read more of her work.

[Jessica Woodbury · Rating 4 out of 5]

Another winner from modern Japanese fiction in translation. Rooted in realism rather than surrealism, it's concerned with class, morality, feminism, and more through its connected stories.

This novel starts out with the major event that will get all the other sections going. It's also sexually frank, with an affair between teenage Takumi and an older woman he knows as Anzu, where their meetings take place according to Anzu's detailed instructions and while dressed in cosplay. We hop to several other connected characters (you know all of them before you follow them around for a chapter), many of them other teens and Takumi's peers. Sex, fertility, and social judgments are themes that run through almost all of these stories. There is very little sex that is acceptable to society, while sex is also expected and necessary. The conflicts of that, as well as the conflicts of birth and fertility, run through everything.

I found it very readable, and liked the sex writing in particular quite a lot. Kubo is open without being at too far of a remove, infusing emotion and connection into her characters. All of the stories are heartbreaking, and I thought often how differently I'd see Takumi if I hadn't had the benefit of starting the book off with him. I do wish we'd had a little more resolution on what happens to these characters next, though.

[Rosamund Taylor · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a collection of five interlinked short stories, all concerned with sex, intimacy, birth, and ultimately why we are born and how we can make sense of the life we find ourselves living. The first story is the most sexually graphic: it focuses on teenager Takumi, who ends up in a sexual relationship with the older Anzu, who gets him to dress up in anime costumes and have sex with her. Takumi is ambivalent about the relationship, but plunges into a depression after it ends, precipitated by Anzu's husband making explicit pictures of Takumi and Anzu public. The following stories are less sordid, but also explore exploitation or trauma in some way. Kubo demonstrates that while people may feel ready to begin particular kinds of relationships, or feel pressured by society to see themselves as sexual commodities, their experiences are often alienating or traumatising. This is a very nuanced novel: it doesn't offer any answers, and only shows us ambiguous or difficult conclusions. But it's also a book that shows us human love and connection, and the ways in which being together and accepting one another's human frailties creates enduring relationships that give us a way forward. At first I found this book a little off-putting because it's sexually explicit in a very uncomfortable way, but as the stories developed I realised how this made the stories work, contrasting the intimacy of love and togetherness with uncomfortable and detached sexual relationships. This is an intelligent book that expects its reader to listen to its subtleties, and I found it emotionally satisfying.

[Nicki Markus · Rating 5 out of 5]

So We Look to the Sky by Kubo Misumi is a book that doesn't pull punches even from page one. It is highly sexually explicit, so if that's not your cup of tea you should probably not pick it up, but if that doesn't worry you, the story offers a thoughtful glimpse at a selection of characters all trying to deal with life's various hardships, from bullying to sex, to social status and single parenthood. Each chapter offers a different POV; although all the characters are linked in some way. Thus, we see the book's inciting incident through many different perspectives. I was captivated by the piece right from the get go and continued to find it interesting and engaging until the end. The prose flowed nicely, and it was a reasonably short work at 172 pages, making it a quick read that I finished over two nights. It gets 4.5-stars from me, which I would round up to a five.

I received this book as a free eBook ARC via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.

[Stephanie B · Rating 4 out of 5]

I found this book to be fascinating, and I read the entire thing in almost one sitting.

Each chapter tells a different character's backstory and point of view and all of the characters wrap around each other, and this style really works for me so well. I couldn’t wait to learn who the next chapter was about each time.

I had just finished “Breasts and Eggs” when I began this one so I had already been thinking about some similar topics in Japanese writing, and I found this to be an excellent follow-up. I ended up liking this book even more as I found it to be even more thought-provoking on many different levels.

I had also recently started reading a few pages of “On Freedom” by Maggie Nelson right before this, and I’m finding it really interesting now to think about the context of the word freedom as it relates to Japanese culture. So far in the Maggie Nelson book (in the few pages I've read) she’s talking about an American perceived definition of freedom as long as it doesn’t infringe on someone else’s freedom. (and how many of the people believing in this approach are actually infringing on almost everyone’s freedom surrounding them). This book seems to have an interesting twist of this, to say we are all so interconnected, and many have dark or taboo impulses - how can any of us ever really be free? Also, such an interesting study on women’s sexual freedom (or rather it seems, the mostly utter lack of) in Japan.

There are also brighter themes in the book - about everyone having potential regardless of society’s dictates for them (class, education, growing up in the projects)
And - a bit about how even those who you think may have it all are often facing pain and embarrassment. The universal existential pain of life is noted throughout, and the book wraps around amazing, visceral descriptions of the act of giving birth. It’s really done so well!

This book hits on many topics, and I found it to be such a thought-provoking and engaging read. I’m interested in letting it digest a bit further and very interested in reading what other people have thought of it. I definitely would like to try some of her other books!

[Kimberly Ouwerkerk · Rating 4 out of 5]

From cosplay sex with an older woman to an unrequited crush on a kid in your class. Some relationships are on the edge of what is acceptable and others are too safe. The characters have to deal with the expectations and judgments of others that overshadow what they want for themselves. Step by step, they begin to explore the relationships that make them happy.

The five stories in So We Look to the Sky build on each other, showing how different people deal with the same incident and what else is going on in their lives. As people’s motives and thoughts are exposed, you begin to look at their actions in a different way. These stories remind you not to judge until you know the whole story. All the stories highlight a different aspect of relationships, both romantic and non-romantic. For most of the characters, their relationships and sexual endeavors don’t turn out quite as they expected.

After reading the first few stories, I wrote that the stories in this collection are not very upbeat, but I have since changed my mind about that. My memory of So We Look to the Sky is one of tenderness: if I could influence the stories with my thoughts, I would use gloves so as not to disrupt the life the characters are building for themselves. They’re going to make it…

My favorite story is A Goldenrod Sky. I don’t know if it’s good that I have fond memories of the subtle interactions between Taoka and Ryota, but I do. I still stand by the idea that everything that happened was told and nothing happened between the lines. After all, the other stories contain explicit (sex) scenes.

I like how all the characters realistically look at their situation and their desires and hopes for life. Most are aware of what the “easy” option would be, but they try to do what feels right for them. All of the stories grabbed me from the beginning. Together, they reduce the distance between you and the main characters as you read about the characters hesitantly taking their first steps toward – or away from – the person they love.

Many thanks to Skyhorse Publishing and NetGalley for a digital ARC of this novel in exchange for an honest review.

[Liviu · Rating 3 out of 5]

Ok but loses focus about halfway in; very explicit in the beginning and of course the thematic may make one uncomfortable too;

[Kamakana · Rating 4 out of 5]

250302: unlike anything j-lit I have read. not decadent (though lots of sex) not 'cute'(though characters are ya) not violent/gore (just weird) this group protrait or rather prefecture portrait of various characters who are all interwoven in surprising ways. midwife mother, housewife cosplay sex addict, pedophile tutor, smart/ gentle/ helpful son of midwife, lover of cosplay... this is definitely Japanese culture. cannot see it in the West...

[Elena Carmona · Rating 4 out of 5]

(me lo he leído en español, pero no me veréis poniendo aquí la infame cubierta de satori, con lo bonita que es la original)

[xyZeereads · Rating 5 out of 5]

From an affair involving cosplay, to falling in love with an empty shell of a person, to living with a spouse you no longer love, to helping mothers bring life into the world, and to searching for a lost grandmother who doesn't want to be found, So We Look To The Sky looks deeply into the lives of five interconnected individuals. Sure, there are some explicit sex scenes, but they're not as shocking as the images they produced afterwards.

Many thanks to NetGalley, the publisher, and the author for the ARC. Really enjoyed the read!

[Francisco Alfaro Labbé · Rating 4 out of 5]

Cinco cuentos que se relacionan entre sí, tanto por situaciones como por personajes, así que bien podría ser considerada una sola historia, una suerte de novela experimental contada desde cinco perspectivas diferentes (algo no nuevo, por cierto, en la literatura japonesa). Esta forma de acercarse a la historia es enriquecedora de por sí, ya que la autora logra dotar de personalidades ricas y complejas a cada uno de los protagonistas de cada cuento/capítulo. Pero además, el gran logro de este libro dice relación con aquella pincelada a un Japón muy alejado de las versiones más burguesas y edulcoradas de una sociedad que ha sido testigo y receptora de uno de los grandes desarrollos y crecimientos económicos; acá si bien la autora mantiene lo esencialmente japonés expresado en la atención a los detalles del paisaje, del clima, de la estricta normativa social (que puede llegar a ahogar a las personas), acá, como digo, se muestra la miseria, la pobreza y la injusticia social, adornada por algunas bien sabidas prácticas sórdidas y de alto contraste que han caracterizado a la sociedad nipona de las últimas décadas. Vale la pena leer este libro solo para desencantarse de la imagen de una montaña nevada y pura, para ver el barro y el frío de las calles.

[José Gastón · Rating 3 out of 5]

Las angustias amorosas de varios adolescentes japoneses y las inquietudes de sus tutores acompañadas de las tribulaciones de una comadrona, la vida matrimonial de un extraña pareja y un desesperado hacen un buena novela.

[JMRC · Rating 4 out of 5]

Mi total identificación con mujeres jóvenes al borde del nefasteo de la cotidianidad y personalidades sosas que les rodean, me abruma. O bien, más sencillo es decir “qué personajazo que es Nana”.

Entonces, el libro. ¡Qué perra obscenidad bella y, por momentos, abrumadora! Qué terrible cómo nos relacionamos ante el placer y a qué le adjudicamos nuestra capacidad de gozarlo.

[For The Novel Lovers · Rating 5 out of 5]

Book Review
Title: So We Look to the Sky by Misumi Kubo
Genre: Literary Fiction, Romance
Rating: 5 Stars
This novel is made up of five interconnected stories so like I did with Before the Coffee gets Cold I will review the stories individually and then see how they tie together. All I knew about So We Look to the Sky is that it partially follows an affair between an older woman and a younger man which is uncommon to see anyway but that it is also quite explicit which is very unusual for Asian fiction, especially Japanese.
Mikumari
In this story we are following a young boy as he has an affair with a married woman he only knows as Anzu. He met her at Comiket, an anime convention that happens in Tokyo but he has no interest in anime or manga, but when Anzu hits on him he responds to it. At this point they have an arrangement where he goes around to her apartment once or twice a week to have sex with her in cosplay and these encounters are always scripted and sometimes she paid him afterwards although he didn’t initially understand what this meant. By the time the summer approaches he and his Ryota have got jobs as lifeguards at the local pool where his crush Nana is also going to be working. As he grows close to Nana he tries to distance himself from Anzu eventually leading them to break up. However, he soon comes to realise he has formed at attachment to Anzu that Nana can’t fill and this is made worse after he sees her shopping for baby items and he imagines a life where they are together. Eventually like Anzu predicted he breaks down and returns to her but this is the first time they ever have sex as their normal selves and it is amazing for both of them. However, Anzu is going to America to find a surrogate for her and her husband’s baby because Anzu can’t have children. After learning of this the boy has a moment of self-reflection where he remembers going to a shrine in the mountain with his mother and father although never together. He remembers that he couldn’t read the name of the shrine correctly and his mother told him it was called the Mikumari Shrine. When he asks her what she is praying for she tells him all children, the ones that are alive and they ones that never got the chance to live and for some reason this reminds him of Anzu.
The Enormous Spiderweb Covering the World
The second story in this novel is Anzu’s although we soon learn that her real name is Satomi. Satomi has been bullied throughout her entire life which has a huge mental impact on her. In addition to this she lost her mother at an early age and she was still quite young when her father also died without leaving any provisions for her. Shortly after this she meets Keiichiro when he returns her phone and they begin dating, after only three dates he proposes and Satomi accepts because she doesn’t have to work anymore. We get some background into the couple and learn that Satomi is an otaku which is the main reason she was bullied a lot as a child and Keiichiro is seen as a stalker by many of the women he works with and that know him. After being married for some time, Satomi’s mother in law, Machiko begins asking them when they are going to start a family and despite trying it never happens. It turns out that Keiichiro has a low sperm count and Satomi has narrowed fallopian tubes resulting from an untreated STD in her youth making it virtually impossible for them to have children naturally. Despite this Machiko pays for them to have fertility treatments and nothing is working. It is around this time that Keiichiro and Satomi just stop trying leading Satomi to take up cosplay and soon after she and a friend, Kurumi go to Comiket. There they encounter a young boy, Takumi who see goes on to begin an affair with. Unlike the previous story we get to see the affair from her point of view which was interesting especially on her thoughts during their breakup and their last time together before she is heading to America. What was really interesting about this story was that Keiichiro was recording Satomi during her times with Takumi and her mother in law threatens to share the videos if she doesn’t go to America and during their last time she basically accepts that if her mother in law releases the videos that she doesn’t really care and she would accept a life with Takumi as she has previously thought about it and even calculated how much it would cost.
The Orgasm from 2035
This story is Nana’s as she comes to learn that pictures and videos of Takumi having sex with a housewife have been posted online. Initially she is hurt by this information as she really likes Takumi but after watching the videos she realises that someone else has posted these online as the post contain Takumi’s name and address but don’t show clearly who the woman is which means Satomi’s mother in law followed through on her threat. We learn about Nana growing up and how she was always overshadows by her genius older brother, Yusuke until he became involved in what I would call a sex cult practising Tantrism preparing for the end of the world in 2035. While Yusuke’s behaviour doesn’t change rapidly at first he soon goes missing for months before his friend, Hinata is able to locate him and their father brings him home. In the aftermath of all this Nana is trying to maintain her relationship with Takumi who is currently extremely depressed and is having trouble getting aroused by anything. Nana doesn’t understand this until she attempts to sleep with Hinata only for him to explain that sometimes when you love someone you can’t have you project those images onto other people like he had with her or you self-destruct which is what Takumi is doing. When a massive rainstorm threatens to flood Nana’s house, Nana ends up trapped in her brother’s bedroom with her mother, brother and Takumi while they wait for the rain to pass. When it finally does Nana realises that even though she is mad at Takumi she understands his actions and hopes that one day they might be able to have a normal relationship.
A Goldenrod Sky
This story is Ryota’s, Takumi’s best friend as we learn he is from a very poor area known as the projects and all the kids there are basically seen as write offs but no one understands what it means to be a project kid. Ryota is currently caring from his senile grandmother as his mother is almost completely absent from his life and his father Yoshio committed suicide a few years ago. Ryota’s interactions with his mother made me extremely angry as she provides him money but not enough to survive on meaning Ryota works two jobs and while she is supposed to take care of the rent, utilities and Ryota’s school fees it soon becomes clear that she isn’t doing that. In addition to that the saving left to him by his father and the money he saved from working she steals from him before vanishing into thin air presumably with her new boyfriend. Ryota is struggling to deal with all of this when Takumi’s videos are leaked online and this leads him along with Akutsu, Nana’s friend to distribute the pictures because Ryota feels that Takumi has no right to as depressed as he is when his life has been nothing but good compared to his. Ryota ends up becoming good friends with another convenience store employee, Taoka as he helps Ryota get his grades up and provide him with the focus and drive he has needed. Taoka lost his job as a teacher after he was found to be in possession of child pornography but that doesn’t stop him from helping Ryota and Akutsu whenever he can with no ulterior motive. At the end of this story, Ryota is at his wit’s end with how to care for his grandmother and Taoka helps him get his grandmother into a hospital and gets he linked up with a social worker who will help him out with fees, bills and anything he needs help with. It was sad to learn that Taoka had been arrested towards the end of this story using a similar method on those children as he had with Ryota and Akutsu but he’d never shown an ill intentions towards them and even went above and beyond to prevent them from ending up like their parents or like him.
Pollen Nation
The final story in this collection belongs to Takumi’s mother who runs a birthing clinic along with Mitchan. We briefly get to see her life before and how it has mirrored her son as she was sexually involved with an older married man before she met the man who would become her husband and Takumi’s father, so she understands completely what he is going through right now even if she hasn’t said anything. Her job is a very difficult but rewarding one as she brings many children into the world but she also has to watch many die as they don’t survive or are stillborn. She seems to be coping really well with Takumi’s disgrace and her friend Doctor Lui helps her through it too and there seems to be a slight romantic tension between them although it doesn’t go anywhere in this story. However, she is heartbroken for her son when someone learns a child’s urn on the doorstep containing ashes that might or might not belong to a child with a note claiming it is Takumi and Anzu’s child. She has to watch her son get better only to suffer another major setback however, the thing to bring him out of his depression this time is his teacher getting pregnant and Takumi is around the majority of her pregnancy and when she comes to stay at the clinic to give birth, Takumi is there waiting for the child to come into the world.
Overall, So We Look to the Sky centres around the key event of Takumi’s affair with Satomi being made public and it is essentially an interwoven tale about how he, Satomi deal with the repercussions of this as well as his mother, his best friend and his would-be girlfriend. These stories really focused on the human elements and how flawed the characters are which was really interesting to see. While this book is quite explicit in the first two stories especially by Japanese standards it isn’t anywhere near the explicit literature we see in Western culture so don’t let that put you off reading it. 5 out 5 stars, highly recommended.

[3ww3 · Rating 5 out of 5]

Me encantan estas historias entre lanzadas.
Me gustó bastante como escribe y el paso que tiene.

[Jao Wonders · Rating 4 out of 5]

"I looked up at the sky. If there really was a god up there, I thought, then it had to be a pretty cruel one."

[Tairachel · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a beautiful, complex novel told through the eyes of five characters: Takumi, 'Anzu', Nana (Takumi's crush), Ryouta (Takumi's best friend) and Takumi's mother (a midwife). So We Look To The Sky deals with Takumi, a high schooler, who ends up in a paid relationship with 'Anzu', a married woman 10 years older than him, where they cosplay as anime characters, and how photographs and videos of them get leaked, and the subsequent fallout. I found the first 2/3 of the book very riveting, intense and visceral, definitely very gripping storytelling. Definitely a page-turner whose main thread seems to be the importance of recognising humanity and empathy for all life.

There are some morally questionable characters, but the author definitely makes the reader see the humanness in them, rather than demonise these characters for their past actions. There's a certain spirituality in this novel as well, as seen from the title of the book and the repeated mentions of prayer and god, that gives this idea that not everything is decided by us, but perhaps by the gods. I also find Polly Barton's translation to be superb, I really love her work. And I'm definitely keeping my eye out for future publications by this author Misumi Kubo, she definitely pinpoints what's wrong in society and calls it out (like the bullying and harassment of children online and in-person, and society's expectations forced on married women to have children).

There are also many chapters dedicated to the work of midwives and childbirth, and the sacrifices made by mothers and midwives. Truly a visceral experience.

I think this was definitely thought-provoking to read and will stay with me for a while. I also find it interesting how the English title of this book is 'So We Look To The Sky' but in the original Japanese it's ふがいない僕は空を見た which roughly means 'Good for nothing me (for boys/men) looked at the sky' which focuses more on Takumi's perspective and his sense of hopelessness and how he can only look to god to seek forgiveness for his sins.

[Ben · Rating 3 out of 5]

I really liked the first 2/3 of this book.

It was interesting, fresh, and sexy.
I found the student/cosplay sex tangent very fun and exciting to read. I loved the duality between the cosplay sex vs the boy living in a birth center. A very intriguing narrative.

However, it did drop quickly at that 2/3 mark.
Didn't end up loving it after then.

I loved the different connected narratives from all the characters.
This book had a lot of potential, and I could see Kubo having a successful future if she works better on her storytelling.

I would feel, the closest this book felt like, was Hotel Iris meets Heaven.

3.6/5

[Jemima Chamberlain-Adams · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this book and it has stayed with me for weeks now. Sexually explicit from the get go, but tender and thoughtful at the same time. Each chapter is a short story beautifully intertwined, you end up rooting for all the characters.

[Kathryn Hemmann · Rating 4 out of 5]

So We Look to the Sky is a compulsively readable collection of connected stories that follow the soap opera lives of five characters, each of whom might be generously described as “a hot mess.” Each of the stories is an absolute train wreck of improbable situations. This is not a condemnation – far from it! I very much enjoyed So We Look to the Sky, and it was difficult to look away from the characters as they make terrible decisions while still doing their best.

The fifth and final story, “Pollen Nation,” is a clear standout as the strongest and most interesting in the collection. This story is about a woman running a maternity clinic as she cares for her son, who has become a shut-in. Along with her capable assistant, she manages to keep the clinic running despite the demands of her difficult clients. What I appreciate about “Pollen Nation” is its no-nonsense treatment of the topic of pregnancy in Japan. Regardless of the political discourse surrounding pregnancy, somebody’s got to deliver the babies, and it’s refreshing to see this experience portrayed as a matter of normal everyday life.

So We Look to the Sky is the sort of Japanese popular fiction that I’d love to see more of in translation. Despite the awful situations the characters manage to get themselves into, everything somehow works out in the end, and sometimes that’s exactly what you want from a story.

[Natasha Singh · Rating 3 out of 5]

Probably one of the better contemporary books I’ve read. Despite being pushed as a raunchy book about sex, this one was actually fairly nuanced, and the twist of circumstances (particularly the video leak) and the characters’ reactions to it make for an interesting and emotionally loaded read. I found Anzu’s character extremely unsympathetic – despite her Convenience Store Woman brand of uncomprehending quirkiness, the selfishness of exposing Takumi to the internet cannot be outweighed by her own tribulations. Even the highly questionable Taoka ultimately cuts a better figure than her, although this is probably because his pedophilia (I know) is not delved into. The ending was slightly implausibly hopeful, but overall, it was definitely readable.