For those of you out there who smoke and have always wanted to quit or tried quitting several times, you will find a kindred spirit in Julia Hansen. She perfectly describes the torrid f-ed up relationship that smokers have with the little white sticks. Although this memoir has much of the "I had a hard life" business that many do, Julia doesn't play up her life as being any harder then most. Her troubles simply come from being depressed and she focuses on this emotional state as the catalyst for why she smokes. I immediately responded to her realization that she uses the act of smoking as a tool to cope with anything hard in her life. As any good smoker knows, the reason we smoke is more psychological need then physical need. I wasn't weirded out by her methods of quitting (chaining herself to her radiator) but found her choice an equal foe to the insanity you feel when you try to quit smoking. The book made me take a hard look at myself and forced me to really question why it is that I smoke. It even made me want to quit.
I quit smoking on November 17, 2011. Not for the first time, but I think it will be the last time. This book was recommended by a friend of mine who quit last year. I'm finding it fascinating, and at times very uncomfortable. One of the most difficult things about quitting smoking, for many people, is how people who don't smoke or who quit easily simply don't comprehend how difficult it is for many of us to quit. This book was written by someone who knows intimately the roadblocks to quitting, the emotional toll of both smoking AND quitting, and just the incredible difficulty that we face in giving up this deadly habit. So as I focus on the accomplishment of giving up cigarettes (over a month smoke-free!), it's helping me to read this memoir by someone who's done the same. It's also well-written, and I appreciate her candor throughout in talking about the shame and powerlessness that smokers often feel.
Read this for my Treatment of Addictions class. While I didn't care for the foul language, the memoir was well written as the author told her story of being chained for a week at home to help her quit smoking, as well as her journey through life, with family challenges, addiction, coming and going of relationships, and quitting and relapse cycles throughout her life.
Chaining yourself to a radiator for a week in order to quit smoking may seem a bit extreme, but I understand why this might be the only way after having spent the summer with a person who was battling this powerful addiction. I know there are plenty of people who quit cold turkey and go on to say "Just do it!" but the thing I liked about this book is that Hansen chronicles a totally different story--the one in which the addiction is coiled around the person like a deadly snake. I found her book at the library when I was looking for biographies. I brought it home to see if Cindy was interested in reading it. We spent the summer reading it aloud, a few pages a night. During this time, Cindy was in various stages of quitting. Hansen touched on absolutely every issue and hurdle that Cindy confronted. Though she sometimes waxed too poetic and some of her metaphors and analogies were over-the-top, the chain metaphor worked! Her references to the chain dragging behind her, clanking against the floor, or coiled at her feet was exactly what my gal was dealing with. When we finished the book, we each listed 3 things we learned from reading Hansen's story. We both cited how Hansen's exploration of the contempt that surrounds smoking and smokers was right on and we believed her recommendation: what smokers really need more than anything is some kind of deep sympathy and understanding. Her book gave that to Cindy and also cultivated it in me. (3 stars because the writing needed some work, but the content gave us what we needed)
I don't now how to tell people that you pick the comfort that completes you. Some people run marathons, some people drink. Some people meditate, some shot heroin. And some people smoke. I can't explain why I'm not soothed by yoga or bubble baths or pedicures. All I know is that when I smoke the world dissolves for five minutes and I need those five minutes, will risk my life for them Quitting I understand like physical pain, emotional pain warns you that something is amiss.. That smoking had muted that warning in me, as alcohol had. That in the weeks and months ahead, I could expect all the pain I"d never allowed myself to feel a rise, like a boil under my arm at 8 yrs old. and that I'd have to face it without the anesthesia of smoke.. A Life in Smoke by Julia Hansen
I'm not a smoker but I grew up with one, my mother. Strangely I feel a deep connection with Julia Hansen. She was able to put words to feelings I've had for years and she made me wonder if my mother felt the same way Julia did when my mother smoked. I was one of those kids who would hide the pack or throw the cigarettes in the toilet. There are other issues I have with my mother that I have yet to resolve but I'd like to think that I can better understand this aspect of her personality.
Well, I guess we'll see how well this book helped me after January 1st, but really, it was a great read even if I weren't almost about to get ready to quit smoking.