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Living Right
Jenn Henderson is proud of the church-centered life she's created for her family. She prays each morning, attends worship every Sunday, and confidently takes up the struggle to defend traditional marriage when she learns marriage licenses are being issued to gays and lesbians in nearby San Francisco. But the certainty that she is living right falters after her teenage son, Josh, swallows a bottle of sleeping pills. Her fear deepens when she discovers that Josh struggles with same-sex attraction. If she's living right, how can Josh be gay?
Desperate for a cure, Jen and her husband send Josh to a Christian conversion therapy camp recommended by their trusted pastor. Jenn is unwavering in her faith that Josh can be transformed by the grace of God. But as the story unfolds, her husband, son, and daughters seem to be questioning her deepest values, threatening irreparable damage to the tight-knit Henderson family.
Author Laila Ibrahim tackles a subject directly out of the headlines in "Living Right," an intimate story about a mother's struggle to reconcile her religious beliefs with her son's sexual orientation. "Living Right" strips away the politics of gay rights to reveal what's really at stake in this ongoing conflict: family. As with her debut novel, "Yellow Crocus," Ibrahim's second novel explores an intimate and sensitive topic with insight and compassion.
Desperate for a cure, Jen and her husband send Josh to a Christian conversion therapy camp recommended by their trusted pastor. Jenn is unwavering in her faith that Josh can be transformed by the grace of God. But as the story unfolds, her husband, son, and daughters seem to be questioning her deepest values, threatening irreparable damage to the tight-knit Henderson family.
Author Laila Ibrahim tackles a subject directly out of the headlines in "Living Right," an intimate story about a mother's struggle to reconcile her religious beliefs with her son's sexual orientation. "Living Right" strips away the politics of gay rights to reveal what's really at stake in this ongoing conflict: family. As with her debut novel, "Yellow Crocus," Ibrahim's second novel explores an intimate and sensitive topic with insight and compassion.
292 pages, Paperback
Published April 15, 2016
457 people are currently reading
1150 people want to read
About the author
Laila Ibrahim
10 books2,211 followersMy education and experience in multiracial, developmental psychology and attachment theory provide ample fodder for my novels. My passion for early childhood education, child birth and religious education are reflected in my writing.
I was the founder and director of Woolsey Children's School where I had first hand experience loving children that were not my own. There are scenes in Yellow Crocus that were largely influenced interactions I had with children from Woolsey.
As a birth doula I had the privilege of witnessing the intensity and joy of childbirth. You can see that my birth experiences are reflected in my novels.
Spiritual themes that cross over multiple religious traditions come directly from working as the Director of Children and Family Ministries at the First Unitarian Church in Oakland.
I live in a small co-housing community in Berkeley, California, with my wonderful wife, Rinda and our beloved dog, Hazel. Our young adult children are our pride and joy.
I'm very grateful to be a full time writer starting in 2015.
I was surprised when the writing bug bit me. The idea for the story came to me in 1998, I was with a group of people talking about Tiger Woods. Someone mentioned that he identifies as much as an Asian person as an African-American person. I thought to myself, "Of course he does, his mother is Asian. You form your core identity in relationship to your primary caregivers. It's a basic part of the attachment process."
Then the image of Lisbeth, a white baby, breastfeeding in the loving arms of Mattie, an enslaved wetnurse came to me in a flash. I thought about what it would be like for Lisbeth to dearly love Mattie and then be taught by society that she wasn't a full person. I wondered how it would feel for Mattie to be forced to abandon Samuel, her own child, in the slave Quarters. Then I imagined what the experience would be like for Miss Anne, the birth mother, to have her own child twist away from her to get into Mattie's arms. These characters started to haunt me. Various scenes popped into my head. Though I had never written anything, I was being called to tell this story. For my fortieth birthday, I began the personal marathon of writing my first novel. I hope you will come to love these characters as much as I have.
At face value Living Right seems like a big leap from Yellow Crocus, but it deals with the same themes: a caregiver loving across a huge societal barrier.
I LOVED returning to Mattie, Lisbeth and Jordan for Mustard Seed. The story of finding faith in hopeless times really resonates for me. I plan to return to their families' ongoing journey after I finish my current novel-Paper Wife.
Paper Wife focuses on Mei Ling, a young Chinese woman immigrating to San Francisco through Angel Island a in the early 1920's. Reactionary anti-immigration laws in the United States and warfare in China caused people desperate for survival to be misleading about their identities so they could be united with family and have access to work. Mei Ling yearns to have a life of integrity though it was built on a foundation of lies.
Golden Poppies returns to the Freedman and Johnson families. It was fascinating to bring them to California, to look at the suffrage movement, and to see how they could keep their connection strong in spite of the very different social worlds they occupied.
I'm feeling a tug to bring the descendants of these families to the 2000s. Scarlet Carnation gets us to World War 1. I'm just starting the World War 2 era novel.
I was the founder and director of Woolsey Children's School where I had first hand experience loving children that were not my own. There are scenes in Yellow Crocus that were largely influenced interactions I had with children from Woolsey.
As a birth doula I had the privilege of witnessing the intensity and joy of childbirth. You can see that my birth experiences are reflected in my novels.
Spiritual themes that cross over multiple religious traditions come directly from working as the Director of Children and Family Ministries at the First Unitarian Church in Oakland.
I live in a small co-housing community in Berkeley, California, with my wonderful wife, Rinda and our beloved dog, Hazel. Our young adult children are our pride and joy.
I'm very grateful to be a full time writer starting in 2015.
I was surprised when the writing bug bit me. The idea for the story came to me in 1998, I was with a group of people talking about Tiger Woods. Someone mentioned that he identifies as much as an Asian person as an African-American person. I thought to myself, "Of course he does, his mother is Asian. You form your core identity in relationship to your primary caregivers. It's a basic part of the attachment process."
Then the image of Lisbeth, a white baby, breastfeeding in the loving arms of Mattie, an enslaved wetnurse came to me in a flash. I thought about what it would be like for Lisbeth to dearly love Mattie and then be taught by society that she wasn't a full person. I wondered how it would feel for Mattie to be forced to abandon Samuel, her own child, in the slave Quarters. Then I imagined what the experience would be like for Miss Anne, the birth mother, to have her own child twist away from her to get into Mattie's arms. These characters started to haunt me. Various scenes popped into my head. Though I had never written anything, I was being called to tell this story. For my fortieth birthday, I began the personal marathon of writing my first novel. I hope you will come to love these characters as much as I have.
At face value Living Right seems like a big leap from Yellow Crocus, but it deals with the same themes: a caregiver loving across a huge societal barrier.
I LOVED returning to Mattie, Lisbeth and Jordan for Mustard Seed. The story of finding faith in hopeless times really resonates for me. I plan to return to their families' ongoing journey after I finish my current novel-Paper Wife.
Paper Wife focuses on Mei Ling, a young Chinese woman immigrating to San Francisco through Angel Island a in the early 1920's. Reactionary anti-immigration laws in the United States and warfare in China caused people desperate for survival to be misleading about their identities so they could be united with family and have access to work. Mei Ling yearns to have a life of integrity though it was built on a foundation of lies.
Golden Poppies returns to the Freedman and Johnson families. It was fascinating to bring them to California, to look at the suffrage movement, and to see how they could keep their connection strong in spite of the very different social worlds they occupied.
I'm feeling a tug to bring the descendants of these families to the 2000s. Scarlet Carnation gets us to World War 1. I'm just starting the World War 2 era novel.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 126 reviews
May 16, 2016
I just finished this insightful book with tears in my eyes. I would want every evangelical pastor, every Christian youth group leader, every Christian parent of teenagers to read this book.
It's not a common issue for a novel nor is it an easy one. How does it effect the whole family if you learn (in this case by attempted suicide) that your child is homosexual? What about all the values and the right path to salvation you have been teaching them all their live? Is it your fault? What can you do now?
I am a devoted Christian and I must admit that I recognize a lot of Jenn's thoughts and fears, but I got incredibly angry with her pastor and the camp that was supposed to transform Josh and cure him.
This novel shows how easily we can break our children and with them our families by putting too much pressure on them, by expecting them to live according what we feel as right and by putting law over love.
It's not a common issue for a novel nor is it an easy one. How does it effect the whole family if you learn (in this case by attempted suicide) that your child is homosexual? What about all the values and the right path to salvation you have been teaching them all their live? Is it your fault? What can you do now?
I am a devoted Christian and I must admit that I recognize a lot of Jenn's thoughts and fears, but I got incredibly angry with her pastor and the camp that was supposed to transform Josh and cure him.
This novel shows how easily we can break our children and with them our families by putting too much pressure on them, by expecting them to live according what we feel as right and by putting law over love.
May 14, 2016
Magnificent. Engaging and satisfying on all levels: emotionally, intellectually, spiritually. Feels very real and believable; once started I could hardly put it down. Loved the trajectory of the story and its power to reach those who may still be in confusion or pain over the issues it raises -- especially damaging so-called conversion therapy. God is great and Laila Ibrahim's writing is a good gift to all of us. Can't wait to read her next book!
September 9, 2017
Jenn is content with her traditional household with Christian values. It brings her love and security, knowing that her husband is beside her with their studious children, she cannot ask for anything better. Not only is she grateful that she has a loving family, but the most important thing is that Christ is the center of their family. However when her sixteen year old son admits that he battles with homosexuality, she wonders what went wrong? How can be raised in a Christian household when her son is attracted to the same sex? Opposed to that in every form, she considers counseling and then start to blame herself for Josh feelings.
Josh relationship with his mother is strained, as she tries to come into terms with his identity. The church she attends is far from supportive over Josh's 'struggle' and think that his Salvation is at stake. Jenn is seen as the bad influence in the family, though she tries to understand why Josh is battling this 'sickness' of homosexuality. As the story progresses, Jenn must choose between her faith and her son, as she comes to reality that her son may never transform.
This was a very bold and daring book to write, I applaud the author for writing this. Homosexuality is such a taboo subject in the church, especially when you have people that declares that Jesus is loving and accepting no matter the sexuality. It is very controversial, something that most people prefer not to talk about in fear of offending one party who supports, against or in-between.
Extremely sentimental, controversial and touching book that I will recommend.
Josh relationship with his mother is strained, as she tries to come into terms with his identity. The church she attends is far from supportive over Josh's 'struggle' and think that his Salvation is at stake. Jenn is seen as the bad influence in the family, though she tries to understand why Josh is battling this 'sickness' of homosexuality. As the story progresses, Jenn must choose between her faith and her son, as she comes to reality that her son may never transform.
This was a very bold and daring book to write, I applaud the author for writing this. Homosexuality is such a taboo subject in the church, especially when you have people that declares that Jesus is loving and accepting no matter the sexuality. It is very controversial, something that most people prefer not to talk about in fear of offending one party who supports, against or in-between.
Extremely sentimental, controversial and touching book that I will recommend.
April 19, 2019
First of all in full disclosure I have read two other novels by this author and gave them 5 stars but this-ugh where do I start...
oh I know, I got this as an audiobook-what an annoying voice the narrator had. I listened to this in my travels back and forth to work and cringed a lot with listening to this.
But then there is also the whole geez dont have a secret in this family- the mother can't keep a secret! if I was a teenager gay or straight I would runaway from home than deal with her.
I get the author was using extreme religion but really I know people who think this way and do not understand their ignorance and hate for what someone else does, makes it impossible to change their thinking. I assume this will be the case for most people that read this. But also she made the religion part overly stereotypical and predictable. That is sad.
I can not recommend this book to my friends. They are too smart to have to read 500 times homosexuals and thoughts of the same sex are against God. Oh my gosh, I laughed out loud at some of this crap. Like they live in California and its said in there maybe because live close to San Fransisco. Yeah, that it, gay is contagious! This was so stupid and I get there really are these places but again, I had annoying narrator point it out in full volume. Blah, so disappointing.
Glad this wasn't my first book by this author or it would have been last. But since I know she can wtite good stuff, willing to try to read more of her stuff again sometime.
oh I know, I got this as an audiobook-what an annoying voice the narrator had. I listened to this in my travels back and forth to work and cringed a lot with listening to this.
But then there is also the whole geez dont have a secret in this family- the mother can't keep a secret! if I was a teenager gay or straight I would runaway from home than deal with her.
I get the author was using extreme religion but really I know people who think this way and do not understand their ignorance and hate for what someone else does, makes it impossible to change their thinking. I assume this will be the case for most people that read this. But also she made the religion part overly stereotypical and predictable. That is sad.
I can not recommend this book to my friends. They are too smart to have to read 500 times homosexuals and thoughts of the same sex are against God. Oh my gosh, I laughed out loud at some of this crap. Like they live in California and its said in there maybe because live close to San Fransisco. Yeah, that it, gay is contagious! This was so stupid and I get there really are these places but again, I had annoying narrator point it out in full volume. Blah, so disappointing.
Glad this wasn't my first book by this author or it would have been last. But since I know she can wtite good stuff, willing to try to read more of her stuff again sometime.
February 2, 2018
This isn’t a well written book reading as almost a running commentary of what happened next and characters that are two dimensional and stereotypical. The main characters are outraged that their teenage son thinks he is gay as this goes against their Christian principles. They set about trying to ‘cure’ him of this affliction and of course this fails. They finally accept Josh for who he is in a rather about turn of opinion. This book made my blood boil and my eyes roll throughout.
May 4, 2016
This is a powerful book. The genius of this book is its ability to grow my circle of compassion and sympathy. Two opposing viewpoints, one shared value of love of family, worked out over the rocky road of real life. Inspiring and heartening!
June 4, 2018
I read the description of this novel and thought it sounded really fascinating. Jenn is a conservative Christian. As is the reality of life in the new millennium, she has ensconced herself in a little bubble of people and media that echo her views. Along with her church, Jenn even attends a demonstration against marriage equality, never imagining that anyone in her family would disagree. Then the unthinkable happens--her teenage son attempts suicide. He's gay, and his upbringing has made him feel so ashamed of this fact that he no longer wishes to live. Now Jenn, who has always put her family first, has to get outside of her comfort zone in order to save her son.
September 12, 2016
3.5 stars. This is Ibrahim's second novel but reads more as a rough draft to a debut novel. There is no beauty or great craft in the way she writes and that really lets the book down. The book has a great premise but could have been better told.
Jenn was the most frustrating, naive and ignorant character I've ever come across. I would really have appreciated some chapters from the views of the other family members especially Josh and Sara, in particular Josh's experience at transformation camp.
I myself am a Christian and the mother of a young son but I know I would never react like Jenn, it was frustrating to read. At the same time I am well aware there are plenty of ignorant and hateful people out there who share just the same mind set as Jenn if not worse. The million and one family prayer circles in the book, full prayer included, were not necessary and really ruined the momentum of the story.
Before you point out the speck in another's eye, remove the plank from yours.
Jenn was the most frustrating, naive and ignorant character I've ever come across. I would really have appreciated some chapters from the views of the other family members especially Josh and Sara, in particular Josh's experience at transformation camp.
I myself am a Christian and the mother of a young son but I know I would never react like Jenn, it was frustrating to read. At the same time I am well aware there are plenty of ignorant and hateful people out there who share just the same mind set as Jenn if not worse. The million and one family prayer circles in the book, full prayer included, were not necessary and really ruined the momentum of the story.
Before you point out the speck in another's eye, remove the plank from yours.
September 13, 2022
From reading other reviews, this seems to be a really divisive book. Some seem to love it, others found it frustrating.
I fall into the latter camp. While I found the premise interesting, and I was curious to read about this from a different viewpoint, as someone non-religious, I found it extremely hard to find any sympathy for Jenn or the Pastor. I found them both cartoonish, odious characters and felt irritation towards them rather than understanding any sympathy.
I don't think the character of Josh was developed enough, despite him being the central point of the story.
Overall, not a bad read, but a little exaggerated and not something I'd be in a hurry to read again.
I fall into the latter camp. While I found the premise interesting, and I was curious to read about this from a different viewpoint, as someone non-religious, I found it extremely hard to find any sympathy for Jenn or the Pastor. I found them both cartoonish, odious characters and felt irritation towards them rather than understanding any sympathy.
I don't think the character of Josh was developed enough, despite him being the central point of the story.
Overall, not a bad read, but a little exaggerated and not something I'd be in a hurry to read again.
June 16, 2023
Celebrating Pride Month, written by a member of the LGBTQ community 🌈 This story tells of a family with a religion that is against homosexuality and their journey when a child acknowledges his. I found this tough in places to think this has no doubt happened in real life. Not five stars because I’m not a fan of writing that feels it has to spell everything out to me.
February 25, 2020
I have read this author before & loved those books very disappointed to say this book was sadly crap :(
For me it was not believable how the mother couldn't come to terms with her gay son when her parents were more relaxed with religion yet the fathers parents were very strict & he was fine about his kid, the kids conversion therapy was poorly written & felt the author had done little homework into the real horrors of these places & copped out of going for it with the boys experience. This could have been a powerful read I know they can write but this book is beyond weak it is just full of prayers over & over it was very boring. A huge missed opportunity from an author who can ( & should have) done better.
For me it was not believable how the mother couldn't come to terms with her gay son when her parents were more relaxed with religion yet the fathers parents were very strict & he was fine about his kid, the kids conversion therapy was poorly written & felt the author had done little homework into the real horrors of these places & copped out of going for it with the boys experience. This could have been a powerful read I know they can write but this book is beyond weak it is just full of prayers over & over it was very boring. A huge missed opportunity from an author who can ( & should have) done better.
December 24, 2017
This was a difficult book for me to read as I so thoroughly disliked most of the adults in the story. The lack of understanding and respect towards the LGBT community was, at times, overwhelming for me. Sadly, I don’t think the people who could experience growth from reading this book will read it.
July 13, 2016
Must read
Powerful and genuine! Loved it! Opens your mind and heart to just simply love one another! God is good! Two thumbs up
Powerful and genuine! Loved it! Opens your mind and heart to just simply love one another! God is good! Two thumbs up
August 13, 2018
Very Emotionally Charged
I can't count how many times I cried reading this..it's incredibly moving, extremely sad, and gloriously happy with a very emotional journey through religious beliefs and interpretations of the Bible...I really like this author, this is the 3rd book I've read by her...
I can't count how many times I cried reading this..it's incredibly moving, extremely sad, and gloriously happy with a very emotional journey through religious beliefs and interpretations of the Bible...I really like this author, this is the 3rd book I've read by her...
March 3, 2024
This was a very good book. I chose it because I had read her other books, but it was nothing like them. Lots of faith put in these pages. Showing how things do change.
March 2, 2018
This book, while formulaic in its resolution, is definitely one for those who struggle to reconcile Christianity with homosexuality. It brought to mind many stories of my friends and chosen family. Ibrahim does an incredible job of spelling out the issues and stances of the Christian community and touches on the complicated world of young LGBTQ+ people of the 2000s. (I think that is something some readers forget - this story begins in early 2004.) She captures the fear of judgement and ache to be true to self that so many of us felt during that pivotal time in queer US history.
All praise aside, however, I think the mark was certainly missed by focusing so heavily on Jenn without substantial character development. Ibrahim would take us to the brink of investment in the character then pull back into the safety of conventional characters. I wanted to be dazzled with nuance like she gave us in Yellow Crocus, yet this book consistently let me down. I suppose I wanted to read a bit of my youth in this story, and while I found some of it, a lot of the characters fell flat where she could have found much more depth to encourage reader investment.
Overall, I think this novel has a place on the shelves of LGBTQ+ libraries for its overall honest approach to the difficulties faced by the Henderson family and their community. It will always resonate.
All praise aside, however, I think the mark was certainly missed by focusing so heavily on Jenn without substantial character development. Ibrahim would take us to the brink of investment in the character then pull back into the safety of conventional characters. I wanted to be dazzled with nuance like she gave us in Yellow Crocus, yet this book consistently let me down. I suppose I wanted to read a bit of my youth in this story, and while I found some of it, a lot of the characters fell flat where she could have found much more depth to encourage reader investment.
Overall, I think this novel has a place on the shelves of LGBTQ+ libraries for its overall honest approach to the difficulties faced by the Henderson family and their community. It will always resonate.
March 31, 2019
Awesome!
Very, very thought provoking. Brought me to tears a few times. I’ve read all the author’s books, but this one will remain in my thoughts and prayers forever. The very best friends I’ve had in my life were guys and lesbians. I accept them as they are, and many of them are Christian. I have no doubt we’ll be in heaven together.
See, sin is sin. Their sin is no greater than mine. When I criticize, judge, when I knowingly disobey God’s word, I’m a sinner. I sin each and every day of my life. Who am I to judge others? Wonderful book, wish more evangelical Christians could see the truth.
Very, very thought provoking. Brought me to tears a few times. I’ve read all the author’s books, but this one will remain in my thoughts and prayers forever. The very best friends I’ve had in my life were guys and lesbians. I accept them as they are, and many of them are Christian. I have no doubt we’ll be in heaven together.
See, sin is sin. Their sin is no greater than mine. When I criticize, judge, when I knowingly disobey God’s word, I’m a sinner. I sin each and every day of my life. Who am I to judge others? Wonderful book, wish more evangelical Christians could see the truth.
May 13, 2017
Religion
This was a much different book than Yellow Crocus but I enjoyed it none the less. The idea that they have these conversion camps to pray the gay away is just ridiculous to me. Sometimes I just wanted to shake this mother. God made and loved Josh just the way he made him. I have 3 sons and 1 daughter and I have always told them that as long as they were with someone that treated them well and they were happy that was enough for me.
This was a much different book than Yellow Crocus but I enjoyed it none the less. The idea that they have these conversion camps to pray the gay away is just ridiculous to me. Sometimes I just wanted to shake this mother. God made and loved Josh just the way he made him. I have 3 sons and 1 daughter and I have always told them that as long as they were with someone that treated them well and they were happy that was enough for me.
June 22, 2019
This book brought out so many emotions with me. At times I didn't think I was going to be able to finish the book, I was just sooo pissed. I have never understood why people, let alone families, cannot accept people for who they are. This book highlighted some of it coming from a religious standpoint. Soo here are my thoughts.....
- CULT!!!! And I feel I can say this because I have family members who are VERY religious and think like Jenn and the church in this book do. The fact that this church was sooooo anti-homosexuality and how they abandoned the family shows you they (the church and it's members) are not truly christians! It was all it's the church's way or it's SEE YOU LATER! To not allow others to think outside the box and to literally push your beliefs and values onto someone...ugh... And Jenn just ate right into it. Whatever the pastor said went and all other sources were wrong. She was drinking WAYYYY too much of the kool-aid.
- Jenn..... lord help me. I will just never understand how a mother could be the way that she was to Josh. She was very naive and clearly brainwashed. I'm very thankful that in the end she finally saw the light, but there were a lot of times that if I had been standing in front of her in real life, I would have bitch slapped her.
- Afraid. I think that sometimes people who don't approve of people who are different from them, is not because they don't have "God" but because they don't understand them and they can't relate...so because of this, people don't approve, they are scared of them, and are judgemental.
- Understanding. People want to understand (unless you are in a cult and/or so brainwashed and stubborn in your own mindset that you can't open your ears and mind to listen to others) why someone is different or why someone thinks the way they do. It's the beauty of being a human. Everyone is different, everyone goes through different walks of life, and knowing and listening to other's adventures helps you grow as a person. When you are closed off and believe only that your views and thoughts are the right way, you lose out on that opportunity to understand and see things. This then goes into why the church, the camp, and the pastor thought that Josh had been molested as a child, or that he was being too baby handled by his mother, not spending enough time with his dad. Even the name thing of having the same first letter as Jenn and not Steven, I was like come on people. But again, this all comes from people just assuming stupid shit because they don't actually take the time to listen to people who have different views and lives.
I wish that this book could have given me more perspective on why people can't just accept and be okay with people who have different views, beliefs, and sexuality...but instead, it just shed more light those "cult" like churches and ignorant people. Even with the book ending on a positive note, the book itself just made me soooo angry that I couldn't even rate it higher than one star.
So I leave with this.... if it's not actually affecting you, then mind your own business and let it be! Let people be themselves and love whoever they want to love. It's not hurting you, it's not messing with your life. Let people do their own damn thing and be happy! Because at the end of the day the most important thing is what makes you happy!!!!! #pride #gaypride
- CULT!!!! And I feel I can say this because I have family members who are VERY religious and think like Jenn and the church in this book do. The fact that this church was sooooo anti-homosexuality and how they abandoned the family shows you they (the church and it's members) are not truly christians! It was all it's the church's way or it's SEE YOU LATER! To not allow others to think outside the box and to literally push your beliefs and values onto someone...ugh... And Jenn just ate right into it. Whatever the pastor said went and all other sources were wrong. She was drinking WAYYYY too much of the kool-aid.
- Jenn..... lord help me. I will just never understand how a mother could be the way that she was to Josh. She was very naive and clearly brainwashed. I'm very thankful that in the end she finally saw the light, but there were a lot of times that if I had been standing in front of her in real life, I would have bitch slapped her.
- Afraid. I think that sometimes people who don't approve of people who are different from them, is not because they don't have "God" but because they don't understand them and they can't relate...so because of this, people don't approve, they are scared of them, and are judgemental.
- Understanding. People want to understand (unless you are in a cult and/or so brainwashed and stubborn in your own mindset that you can't open your ears and mind to listen to others) why someone is different or why someone thinks the way they do. It's the beauty of being a human. Everyone is different, everyone goes through different walks of life, and knowing and listening to other's adventures helps you grow as a person. When you are closed off and believe only that your views and thoughts are the right way, you lose out on that opportunity to understand and see things. This then goes into why the church, the camp, and the pastor thought that Josh had been molested as a child, or that he was being too baby handled by his mother, not spending enough time with his dad. Even the name thing of having the same first letter as Jenn and not Steven, I was like come on people. But again, this all comes from people just assuming stupid shit because they don't actually take the time to listen to people who have different views and lives.
I wish that this book could have given me more perspective on why people can't just accept and be okay with people who have different views, beliefs, and sexuality...but instead, it just shed more light those "cult" like churches and ignorant people. Even with the book ending on a positive note, the book itself just made me soooo angry that I couldn't even rate it higher than one star.
So I leave with this.... if it's not actually affecting you, then mind your own business and let it be! Let people be themselves and love whoever they want to love. It's not hurting you, it's not messing with your life. Let people do their own damn thing and be happy! Because at the end of the day the most important thing is what makes you happy!!!!! #pride #gaypride
June 26, 2021
This is a thought provoking book packed with emotion. Being a Christian, raised as a Catholic, I have my beliefs that I feel strongly about for my own personal life. I do not however feel that everyone else has to have the same beliefs as me and I will not exclude someone from my life because they choose to live their life differently than mine. There were many times I became very frustrated with the mother in this story. I felt she was very controlling and demanding of her family. Along with her Evangelical Pastor, best friend and church members, they did not practice Christianity when it came to loving and accepting all of God's children. I do not understand the logic of Conversion Therapy and the thought that a person with same sex attractions can be "cured". The things that parents are blamed for and expected to change, in the way they deal with their children, is heartbreaking and cruel. Along with frustration, this book caused anger, sadness, empathy and moments of compassion.
This was the second book written by Laila Ibrahim. I loved her first book Yellow Crocus and its two follow-up books (Mustard Seed & Golden Poppies). Living Right is a much different story (Historical Fiction) than those, but I feel like Ibrahim was able to take from her own experiences and what we are seeing happen in recent years. I highly recommend this author for any of her books.
This was the second book written by Laila Ibrahim. I loved her first book Yellow Crocus and its two follow-up books (Mustard Seed & Golden Poppies). Living Right is a much different story (Historical Fiction) than those, but I feel like Ibrahim was able to take from her own experiences and what we are seeing happen in recent years. I highly recommend this author for any of her books.
June 8, 2018
Full disclosure: I know the author and think she's great, so I may be slightly biased. In any event, I really enjoyed this book. Although the plot arc was fairly predictable, I read the entire book in one sitting because I didn't want to put it down. I really enjoyed how the author portrayed someone for whom her spirituality is an interwoven part of her (and her family's) life, and her religious community has always given her the answers she needs. But now she comes to a crisis when she learns her son is gay, and suddenly the answers she is getting from her religious community are not meeting her family's needs or leading her toward healing. I noticed some other reviewers complained they couldn't relate to the mom as she was so negative about her son being gay, but I felt like it was realistic that it took her some time to grapple with the issue, as it went against everything she had been taught until now.
June 30, 2018
The success of creating an unpleasant character lies in the fact that the character think she is right
An amazing author can make you feel things for characters and situations that aren’t really happening.
I found myself hating and then pitying Jenn. I don’t know if all christians feel the way she does about homosexuality. I have no idea if pastors really do what pastor James did. But if they do, i hope this book finds its way to their hands. I felt so bad for Josh, and i felt that Steve was pretty much spineless. And jenn mas very manipulative even though she didn’t realize it. The magic lies in creating flawed characters and putting then all together. I love this about a good book. And specially the potential for growth it carries for all characters
An amazing author can make you feel things for characters and situations that aren’t really happening.
I found myself hating and then pitying Jenn. I don’t know if all christians feel the way she does about homosexuality. I have no idea if pastors really do what pastor James did. But if they do, i hope this book finds its way to their hands. I felt so bad for Josh, and i felt that Steve was pretty much spineless. And jenn mas very manipulative even though she didn’t realize it. The magic lies in creating flawed characters and putting then all together. I love this about a good book. And specially the potential for growth it carries for all characters
April 11, 2022
I loved Ibrahim's novel Yellow Crocus so I wanted to read more books by her. I gave it 3 stars though I honestly don't know what to rate it. The writing was good, but I was so annoyed by the characters viewpoints and that they would think you could just be cured by a conversion therapy camp. I understand that was important and needed for the story, but it angered me. I wish a little more time was spent at the end of the book with the reaction of her family at the parade when they saw her. The entire book you want and wait for the mother to fully accept her son and then you only get a few pages of when she 100% does. I also would have liked to see her leave her church and go to a new one, specifically the one that her son found that accepts him.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
March 3, 2019
Not my average "read"
I was furious at the first reactions to the young teen who was thinking he might be gay. His family belonged to a conservative Christian church. They did not handle the news of the boy's attempted suicide with any discretion whatsoever. I felt so angry. It felt like drowning in a toxic pool of evangelism. I was very relieved when the boy's family finally showed some sense and realized they loved and respected their son and drew him close once more. Good book, but I almost stopped reading it during stunning insults to the boy himself and to his family. Hate the backward assumptions made by nosy Christians with a judgemental mein.
I was furious at the first reactions to the young teen who was thinking he might be gay. His family belonged to a conservative Christian church. They did not handle the news of the boy's attempted suicide with any discretion whatsoever. I felt so angry. It felt like drowning in a toxic pool of evangelism. I was very relieved when the boy's family finally showed some sense and realized they loved and respected their son and drew him close once more. Good book, but I almost stopped reading it during stunning insults to the boy himself and to his family. Hate the backward assumptions made by nosy Christians with a judgemental mein.
November 7, 2022
This should be required reading.
As a Christian I'm horrified by those that pervert the love of Christ into anti-LGBTQ+. The teachings of Christ are simple. Love one another. That covers it all. If you have to look all the way back to Genesis it says we're all made in the image of the Lord. I and my family are CIS and we all know not to judge others and to love them. I really had a problem with Jenn. Unfortunately women like her are way too common. Each child deserves loving parents. I find it much easier to love than hate. After reading this book I can say I hate Conversion Therapy. It's deplorable. Parents and teenager should be required to read this book.
As a Christian I'm horrified by those that pervert the love of Christ into anti-LGBTQ+. The teachings of Christ are simple. Love one another. That covers it all. If you have to look all the way back to Genesis it says we're all made in the image of the Lord. I and my family are CIS and we all know not to judge others and to love them. I really had a problem with Jenn. Unfortunately women like her are way too common. Each child deserves loving parents. I find it much easier to love than hate. After reading this book I can say I hate Conversion Therapy. It's deplorable. Parents and teenager should be required to read this book.
September 18, 2024
What a unique perspective
Wow. I was not feeling this book at the beginning because of the deep religiousness the main characters followed because I am not religious. I continued reading to see how their faith molded their path through their feelings about LGBTQ+. It was very hard at times due to my polar opposite opinions from the characters. The emotional journey Jenn took was a rollercoaster and her capacity to be open to see what was right for her and to change that opinion with each leap of faith was deeply felt. This book told their story perfectly and it was definitely a great read from a point of view not normally seen in LGBTQ+ fiction. I loved it.
Wow. I was not feeling this book at the beginning because of the deep religiousness the main characters followed because I am not religious. I continued reading to see how their faith molded their path through their feelings about LGBTQ+. It was very hard at times due to my polar opposite opinions from the characters. The emotional journey Jenn took was a rollercoaster and her capacity to be open to see what was right for her and to change that opinion with each leap of faith was deeply felt. This book told their story perfectly and it was definitely a great read from a point of view not normally seen in LGBTQ+ fiction. I loved it.
January 15, 2020
Wow. What a gorgeous book. Not surprised, as Laila is one of the most thought provoking and yet heart breaking authors. I look forward to her challenging my views and giving me a wider view every time I open one of her books.
Having been raised in a very similar religion, many I knew and loved deeply were given this shame narrative, as sad and misguided it seems now, this was reality. So many were told it was their fault and love was very little present. I feel deeper in understanding the pressures and pain put on many I love. Thank you Laila for this story, and for your story.
Having been raised in a very similar religion, many I knew and loved deeply were given this shame narrative, as sad and misguided it seems now, this was reality. So many were told it was their fault and love was very little present. I feel deeper in understanding the pressures and pain put on many I love. Thank you Laila for this story, and for your story.
January 28, 2020
An unexpected tail of growth
Living Right is a revelation of a Born Again Christian finding her way to accept her son Josh's homosexuality. The journey for Jenn began as one would expect: disbelief, praying for change, losing her connection with him, and the grace to realize that we are all sinners; and that God loves us not in spite of who we are but because of who we are. That is the essential point of this beautifully written novel. I encourage people to read this wonderfully crafted story, learning more about faith and true love.
Living Right is a revelation of a Born Again Christian finding her way to accept her son Josh's homosexuality. The journey for Jenn began as one would expect: disbelief, praying for change, losing her connection with him, and the grace to realize that we are all sinners; and that God loves us not in spite of who we are but because of who we are. That is the essential point of this beautifully written novel. I encourage people to read this wonderfully crafted story, learning more about faith and true love.
July 31, 2020
I could not put this down.
I've heard and experienced some of what Josh went through but not to this extreme. This book touched me to the core and just goes to show how much religion can twisted to suit some peoples beliefs.
This books lead you on a rollercoaster of emotions and I can happy say I thoroughly enjoyed from beginning to end and highly recommend for people to read this for a better understanding even though each case is not the same. Thank you for a beautiful book.
I've heard and experienced some of what Josh went through but not to this extreme. This book touched me to the core and just goes to show how much religion can twisted to suit some peoples beliefs.
This books lead you on a rollercoaster of emotions and I can happy say I thoroughly enjoyed from beginning to end and highly recommend for people to read this for a better understanding even though each case is not the same. Thank you for a beautiful book.
March 7, 2022
The characters in this book were so one-dimensional, and most were stereotypically one-dimensional. Jenn’s prayers? Who asks their pastor for “a prayer” and types it out? Or “gives a prayer” to their child… that was bizarre, and I was raised in a conservative household that wouldn’t think twice about a lot of church lingo. I do think the author did a decent job of handling the gamut of attitudes about homosexuality, but that’s about all she got right. This was more like a high school project than a novel by a best-selling author.
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