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Disaster Falls: A Family Story
In this piercing memoir, a father maps the contours of his grief and explores how his family navigates the unthinkable loss of eight-year-old Owen.
On a day like any other, on a rafting trip down Utah’s Green River, Stéphane Gerson’s eight-year-old son, Owen, drowned in a spot known as Disaster Falls. That same night, as darkness fell, Stéphane huddled in a tent with his wife, Alison, and their older son, Julian, trying to understand what seemed inconceivable. “It’s just the three of us now,” Alison said over the sounds of a light rain and, nearby, the rushing river. “We cannot do it alone. We have to stick together.”
Disaster Falls chronicles the aftermath of that day and their shared determination to stay true to Alison’s resolution. Gerson captures the different ways of grieving that threatened to isolate each of them in their post-Owen worlds and then, with beautiful specificity, shows how he and Alison preserved and reconfigured their marriage from within. Blending family history (including the “good death” of his father, which offers a very different perspective on mortality) and the natural history of the river, he provides an expansive, unflinching meditation on loss, our responsibilities toward our children, and the stories we tell ourselves in the wake of traumatic events.
Slowly, inexorably, Gerson writes his way back to Owen, straight to the singularity that cleaved his life into before and after, creating a portrait of grief iridescent in its fullness, and unexpectedly consoling.
On a day like any other, on a rafting trip down Utah’s Green River, Stéphane Gerson’s eight-year-old son, Owen, drowned in a spot known as Disaster Falls. That same night, as darkness fell, Stéphane huddled in a tent with his wife, Alison, and their older son, Julian, trying to understand what seemed inconceivable. “It’s just the three of us now,” Alison said over the sounds of a light rain and, nearby, the rushing river. “We cannot do it alone. We have to stick together.”
Disaster Falls chronicles the aftermath of that day and their shared determination to stay true to Alison’s resolution. Gerson captures the different ways of grieving that threatened to isolate each of them in their post-Owen worlds and then, with beautiful specificity, shows how he and Alison preserved and reconfigured their marriage from within. Blending family history (including the “good death” of his father, which offers a very different perspective on mortality) and the natural history of the river, he provides an expansive, unflinching meditation on loss, our responsibilities toward our children, and the stories we tell ourselves in the wake of traumatic events.
Slowly, inexorably, Gerson writes his way back to Owen, straight to the singularity that cleaved his life into before and after, creating a portrait of grief iridescent in its fullness, and unexpectedly consoling.
256 pages, Hardcover
First published January 24, 2017
17 people are currently reading
1840 people want to read
About the author
Stephane Gerson
10 books34 followersStéphane Gerson is a cultural historian of modern France and a Professor of French Studies at NYU. He has won several awards, including the Jacques Barzun Prize in Cultural History and the Laurence Wylie Prize in French Cultural Studies. Gerson lives in Manhattan and Woodstock, NY, with his family.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 135 reviews
February 13, 2017
True horror can prove so quiet that one almost believes nothing is happening.
A harrowing memoir about a father’s grief. During a white water rafting trip with his parents and brother, eight-year-old Owen drowned in an area of Green River known as Disaster Falls. There was no way to transport the family back to town, so they had to camp overnight with the rest of the rafting group. That evening, the family of three huddled in a tent and made a pact to stick together. In Disaster Falls, Stéphane Gerson charts the course of his grief.
You wake up one morning without knowing that disaster will take place that day. You do everything right, you plan ahead, chart the course, ask the necessary questions, examine the situation from all sides. You do what parents are expected to do, and yet things still break down, they come undone, they slip away, an eight-year-old slips aways and dies. There is no destiny at play. This death comes at the end of a string of decisions small and large, steps taken or not, resolutions made too long ago to leave visible traces, and behavioral patterns that, like canyons in forsaken lands, sediment so slowly that they seem eternal.
The tone of contemplative sadness reminded me of When Breath Becomes Air. Gerson's background is in academia. He is a professor and historian. He seeks companionship in literature from writers who walked the same path. He attempts to place the accident in the context of history, looking into the past to form a better understanding of the tragedy. There's something deeply emotional about reading the words of a man whose entire career is to find answers trying to make sense of the incomprehensible.
Disaster Falls is divided into three parts. "Part One" chronicles the fog of the first year after Owen's death. Each member of the family lost Owen, but they each grieve differently: the father who witnessed everything, the mother who maintains a spiritual connection to her son, and the boy who lost a brother and part of his parents. Their relationships are irrevocably altered by Owen's death and they each had to adapt in order not to lose each other in the fog of grief. He discusses the impossibility of helping others grieve when you have your own grief to process. He also writes about the reactions of people outside of their immediate family: the support, the well-meaning comments, the judgments, and the instant camaraderie with others who have been touched by tragedy.
The death of one’s child, of an eight-year-old even is as infinitely sad [in Belarus] as it is elsewhere. But it finds its place within a universe in which stability, control, and justice are not rights or expectations but aspirations perhaps even delusions, In the universe, bereaved parents are not culpable in crimes against nature or civilization. They do not have to allay the fears of others or their own by huddling in underground bunkers.
The details of the accident that led to Owen's death aren't shared until "Part Two," two-thirds of the way through. He writes about the thin line between keeping children safe and over-protection. His anguish is palpable here, as he struggles with his doubts and self-recrimination. His wife never assigned blame, but he honestly acknowledges how different his reaction would've been if their roles had been reversed. He also uses "Part Two" to explore death in a larger context. The second year was no better than the first, but he starts reacquainting himself with the outside world. He accompanies his father Berl on an ancestral voyage to Belarus, where notices the differences in grieving in other cultures. In Belarus, they live alongside death rather than hidden from it. He also has to deal with the death of his father. Four months after the trip, Berl is diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and Gerson is forced to confront their complicated relationship. When Berl passes away, he ponders the difference between a "good death" and "bad death."
Owen went so fast and violently, Berl so slowly and deliberately—in slow motion—almost—that, in both cases, it was impossible to register what was happening until it was over.
Despite a determination to not be consumed by rage, anger is a necessary stage of the grieving process. In "Part 3," Gerson addresses the lawsuit against the rafting company. After the details of the accident, this was the second hardest section to read. It's frustrating to read the excerpts from the deposition because it's so hard to read about a child's life reduced to objective legal terms. It also made me more skeptical of the adventure tourism industry's claims. The marketing materials implied a level of safety for younger children that couldn't be guaranteed. While ultimately each guest makes their own choices, I would've expected more guidance from the employees--those who have day-to-day experience with the river and its dangers--in helping their guests make educated decisions.
Worlds can come undone in infinitesimal increments.
I've never been white water rafting before and probably never will, so I watched a few videos of people rafting Disaster Falls to better visualize what I was reading. A video of a family on the nearby Triplet Falls gave me a sense of the challenges that rocks can present and how quickly a pleasant rafting trip can spiral out of control. A whole life can change in an instant. The Gerson family is confronted with the unimaginable and must learn to live around a constant ache, while also keeping space for a beloved son who was lost too soon. Disaster Falls is a painfully honest, haunting, and beautifully-written glimpse into the grieving process.
I received this book for free from LibraryThings Early Reviewers Program in exchange for an honest review. This does not affect my opinion of the book or the content of my review. It’s available now!
May 16, 2017
Disaster Falls is a tragic story about loss, grieving, and healing. It's a parent's worst nightmare.
I found myself crying throughout the book and the story felt so real to me. Everything they endured can be felt as the words feel as though they're just pouring out of him. As a parent, I think the emotions are so strong because you put yourself in their shoes, and glimpse the agony and terror they live with.
I almost wished the story was told in chronological order, but it makes sense in the end.
3.5***
Thanks to Netgalley and the author for a copy in exchange for an honest review.
I found myself crying throughout the book and the story felt so real to me. Everything they endured can be felt as the words feel as though they're just pouring out of him. As a parent, I think the emotions are so strong because you put yourself in their shoes, and glimpse the agony and terror they live with.
I almost wished the story was told in chronological order, but it makes sense in the end.
3.5***
Thanks to Netgalley and the author for a copy in exchange for an honest review.
November 14, 2016
November 14, 2016
I really wish I could give this 5 stars. I know that this is on the biography/autobiography health and personal development category, but I just expected......more. I tried hard to love this book because of the tragedy it eventually described, and the family that lived through it, but even "the event" wasn't particularly interesting. I feel absolutely horrible saying that. The book is the father typing what could be called a diary of sorts, capturing life before during and after the loss of his child. If you have been in the same position, and were feeling bad about being emotionally stagnant, you might give this book higher stars because you could relate. There were a few times that it brought up interesting ideas, but it never followed them because he didn't discuss them further with the family so it wasn't in his memory to describe. Maybe if he had collaborated with his wife and other son, and they each talked about their experiences.....I would pick this book up, read for 45 minutes, put it down and then force myself to pick it up again 3 or 4 days later. Again, I really wanted to love this book. It just wasn't there for me.
I really wish I could give this 5 stars. I know that this is on the biography/autobiography health and personal development category, but I just expected......more. I tried hard to love this book because of the tragedy it eventually described, and the family that lived through it, but even "the event" wasn't particularly interesting. I feel absolutely horrible saying that. The book is the father typing what could be called a diary of sorts, capturing life before during and after the loss of his child. If you have been in the same position, and were feeling bad about being emotionally stagnant, you might give this book higher stars because you could relate. There were a few times that it brought up interesting ideas, but it never followed them because he didn't discuss them further with the family so it wasn't in his memory to describe. Maybe if he had collaborated with his wife and other son, and they each talked about their experiences.....I would pick this book up, read for 45 minutes, put it down and then force myself to pick it up again 3 or 4 days later. Again, I really wanted to love this book. It just wasn't there for me.
April 14, 2018
A painful, moving memoir about a family after the death of a son on a family vacation. Unique in the way it is told on the journey through the grief process. Even though very sad, I enjoyed the book for the rawness and honesty shared. Primarily told from the viewpoint of the father, but also relates thoughts of other family members. I think anyone dealing with the death of a child would benefit from reading this, realizing that the miasma of feelings, the disjointedness felt, the isolation, questions, and anger-- that they are not alone. This is all normal, even though so difficult.
I received this book in a giveaway and my thanks to the publisher and author for it.
Read interview with author and enter to win a copy of the book! Giveaway ends 7/22/2017! Good luck!
https://twogalsandabook.com/
I received this book in a giveaway and my thanks to the publisher and author for it.
Read interview with author and enter to win a copy of the book! Giveaway ends 7/22/2017! Good luck!
https://twogalsandabook.com/
arcs-to-review
November 9, 2016
July 25, 2017
This is such a tragedy. To lose your 8-year-old son on vacation while rafting and later finding out it could have been prevented if the rafting company cared more about safety than profit is heartbreaking. This family learned how to go forward and live without their son in the physical world when tragedy can pull a family apart.
February 23, 2017
Disaster Falls is a difficult book. No matter how well written, it is still the story of a family learning to live again after losing a child. At the end of July, 2008, the Gerson family, Stéphane, Alison, Julian, and Owen, went on a rafting trip on the Green River. It was one of those professional guide trips for families with children seven and up. Owen was eight. Halfway through the day, he looked back at his dad from the front of the inflatable kayak they were in and said “This is the best day of my life.” Not long after, he was dead, drowned in a tragic accident.
That night, Stéphane, Alison, and Julian, their older son, huddled in a tent in the rain, isolated from the other rafters, waiting for morning so they could continue on to a river exit and leave. Alison said that night, “We cannot do it alone. We have to stick together.” and somehow they did, in spite of how grief usually atomizes a family.
They grieved in their own ways and Gerson’s way of grieving was to write and to research, reading the words of people throughout history who lost children, learning everything he could about the Green River and Disaster Falls where his son died. He wanted to write down every memory of Owen’s life. For Alison, it was activity, never stopping. For Julian, it was a lot of things, including reminding his parents he was grieving, too.
During this time, Gerson traveled with his father, Berl, and Julian to Belarus, where their family came from. They could not see where their family lived, it was all destroyed in the war, but they did see the monument to the Jews murdered by the Nazis, their family memorialized, the ones who did not escape. Shortly after, Gerson’s father died of cancer. His death was in all ways the opposite of Owen’s, at the end of a long life, expected and even planned, as he chose euthanasia when the pain became too much.
Gerson writes with precision. He is an historian and the historian’s dedication to honesty is there in every page. He does not spare himself. Every word is considered and deliberate, so the writing is sharp and true. He wants to get it right, not so much for himself, but for Owen. To give an example of the kind of stark, brutal honesty that he puts himself through, he confesses to feeling a sense of comfort from those memorials to the Holocaust dead, where “those who had failed to save loved ones did not necessarily live in shame or guilt.”
He writes about the accident in fits and starts, as though accumulating the strength to face it. When he does get to that awful moment when they capsize and are caught in the force of the rapids, he writes honestly about the force and confusion. He blames himself for not being able to reach his son, as though love should have overruled the physics of distance and momentum and made him superhuman.
Disaster Falls is a perfect title, not only is it the cruelly appropriate name for the place where Owen died, but it is what happened. Disaster fell on this family.
Disaster Falls is more than a book about grief and dying. It is a book about living, about coping and not coping, about moving on without leaving behind, of how absence becomes a presence in itself. It is not, though, a self-help book. Gerson is not trying to give us answers or tell us how we must mourn. Just the opposite, he makes clear there is no one way to mourn. This is the well-crafted, meticulous story of his family, his experience as a grieving father, his struggle with feeling as though he failed.
It is a beautiful book, one that I found hard to put down, though I often had to because I was crying. This was not the best time for me to read this book, just a month after my sister died while I weep as easily as breathing. But you will cry, how can you not? Owen was a lovely boy, he died, they mourn, and as human beings, we imagine their pain and mourn as well.
Gerson wrote this book for several reasons. To fill an emptiness with story, to create something enduring out of that loss, It is also an effort to overturn the banal assumptions about that loss. People say it is unendurable, but they endured. Gerson has the rational mind that recognizes that losing a child is not unimaginable, it happens. He also rejects the idea that no one can understand their loss. He wrote this book so people can understand, and he succeeds.
Disaster Falls will be released January 24th, 2017. I received an ARC from the publisher through a drawing on LibraryThing.
★★★★★
http://tonstantweaderreviews.wordpres...
That night, Stéphane, Alison, and Julian, their older son, huddled in a tent in the rain, isolated from the other rafters, waiting for morning so they could continue on to a river exit and leave. Alison said that night, “We cannot do it alone. We have to stick together.” and somehow they did, in spite of how grief usually atomizes a family.
They grieved in their own ways and Gerson’s way of grieving was to write and to research, reading the words of people throughout history who lost children, learning everything he could about the Green River and Disaster Falls where his son died. He wanted to write down every memory of Owen’s life. For Alison, it was activity, never stopping. For Julian, it was a lot of things, including reminding his parents he was grieving, too.
During this time, Gerson traveled with his father, Berl, and Julian to Belarus, where their family came from. They could not see where their family lived, it was all destroyed in the war, but they did see the monument to the Jews murdered by the Nazis, their family memorialized, the ones who did not escape. Shortly after, Gerson’s father died of cancer. His death was in all ways the opposite of Owen’s, at the end of a long life, expected and even planned, as he chose euthanasia when the pain became too much.
Gerson writes with precision. He is an historian and the historian’s dedication to honesty is there in every page. He does not spare himself. Every word is considered and deliberate, so the writing is sharp and true. He wants to get it right, not so much for himself, but for Owen. To give an example of the kind of stark, brutal honesty that he puts himself through, he confesses to feeling a sense of comfort from those memorials to the Holocaust dead, where “those who had failed to save loved ones did not necessarily live in shame or guilt.”
He writes about the accident in fits and starts, as though accumulating the strength to face it. When he does get to that awful moment when they capsize and are caught in the force of the rapids, he writes honestly about the force and confusion. He blames himself for not being able to reach his son, as though love should have overruled the physics of distance and momentum and made him superhuman.
Disaster Falls is a perfect title, not only is it the cruelly appropriate name for the place where Owen died, but it is what happened. Disaster fell on this family.
Disaster Falls is more than a book about grief and dying. It is a book about living, about coping and not coping, about moving on without leaving behind, of how absence becomes a presence in itself. It is not, though, a self-help book. Gerson is not trying to give us answers or tell us how we must mourn. Just the opposite, he makes clear there is no one way to mourn. This is the well-crafted, meticulous story of his family, his experience as a grieving father, his struggle with feeling as though he failed.
It is a beautiful book, one that I found hard to put down, though I often had to because I was crying. This was not the best time for me to read this book, just a month after my sister died while I weep as easily as breathing. But you will cry, how can you not? Owen was a lovely boy, he died, they mourn, and as human beings, we imagine their pain and mourn as well.
Gerson wrote this book for several reasons. To fill an emptiness with story, to create something enduring out of that loss, It is also an effort to overturn the banal assumptions about that loss. People say it is unendurable, but they endured. Gerson has the rational mind that recognizes that losing a child is not unimaginable, it happens. He also rejects the idea that no one can understand their loss. He wrote this book so people can understand, and he succeeds.
Disaster Falls will be released January 24th, 2017. I received an ARC from the publisher through a drawing on LibraryThing.
★★★★★
http://tonstantweaderreviews.wordpres...
August 31, 2016
Disaster Falls is a raw revelation of one man’s grief. We have all heard the expression “Everyone grieves in their own way.” In this recollection of the tragic accident that took his son’s life, Stéphane Gerson explores how his experience of grief changed and evolved; how it differed from the experiences of his wife and surviving son; how it differed from the experiences of others (both historical figures and the couples and individuals he encountered in support groups and elsewhere); and how it differed from his own grief experience when his father opted to take advantage of Belgium’s assisted suicide law. As Gerson says when explaining why he refused to listen when his mother wanted to discuss learning of her grandson’s death, “Her sorrow was hers, not mine. It was not the same.”
I read this book in the days before and after my own father’s death. Certainly, there is no comparison between the sudden, shocking, and unexpected death of one’s young child, and that of a parent who has been in ill health for many years and is on hospice care. But while the grief stemming from these two events is different, it is equally real and palpable. Gerson’s book is a reminder to respect the emotions of those who are grieving, who are trying to understand and accept, and those who refuse to or cannot do so.
I read this book in the days before and after my own father’s death. Certainly, there is no comparison between the sudden, shocking, and unexpected death of one’s young child, and that of a parent who has been in ill health for many years and is on hospice care. But while the grief stemming from these two events is different, it is equally real and palpable. Gerson’s book is a reminder to respect the emotions of those who are grieving, who are trying to understand and accept, and those who refuse to or cannot do so.
March 24, 2017
I am going to risk getting a lot of hate mail for this review, but seeing what Edward went through gives me the nerve to post it. As he said, just because someone has lived through a tragedy, doesn't mean their account of it is necessarily worth reading. here is what I wrote on Bookpage:
" I don't mean to sound unsympathetic to parents who have lost a child, because let's face it no one can know what that is really like-- of course, my heart goes out to them in their grief.
But, having read read a couple memoirs by those who are grieving, they all seem to have one thing in common: they all complain about how friends and relatives never know how to say the 'right' thing, or, are always saying the 'wrong' thing.
Q: What on earth is the 'right' thing to say to someone who has lost a child?
How could anyone know what the 'right' thing is to say in a situation like that? They make it sound like everyone's attempt to be sympathetic somehow ends up just being annoying and making their grief worse.
Why write a whole book about how annoying people's well-intentioned efforts are?
Because, let's face it no one knows what the 'right' thing is to say. my suggestion is: say nothing at all, because apparently it just makes everything worse. "
" I don't mean to sound unsympathetic to parents who have lost a child, because let's face it no one can know what that is really like-- of course, my heart goes out to them in their grief.
But, having read read a couple memoirs by those who are grieving, they all seem to have one thing in common: they all complain about how friends and relatives never know how to say the 'right' thing, or, are always saying the 'wrong' thing.
Q: What on earth is the 'right' thing to say to someone who has lost a child?
How could anyone know what the 'right' thing is to say in a situation like that? They make it sound like everyone's attempt to be sympathetic somehow ends up just being annoying and making their grief worse.
Why write a whole book about how annoying people's well-intentioned efforts are?
Because, let's face it no one knows what the 'right' thing is to say. my suggestion is: say nothing at all, because apparently it just makes everything worse. "
August 16, 2016
I got this as an Early Reviewer copy from Library Thing. I really wish I had looked at it closer; I did not realize it was a non-fiction memoir, I thought it was fiction. Having two pre-teen/teen kids myself, I find it very difficult to read a memoir about parents losing a child. I'm a therapist who has helped a few couples past this experience, and I'm well aware of the suffering; it's the kind of suffering that makes my husband MIGHTILY impatient with me when I just can't relax around any potential danger. It's just that once you are aware of the tenuous grip all of our kids hold on life, you can't become unaware of it. And part of what makes parenting work is being unaware of it, sometimes. Just sometimes. This book is so amazing and wonderful. I just almost couldn't take it, personally. But I'll be donating my copy to our local Bereaved Mother's Network, because I think so many of our local moms in that group will appreciate the beauty of this family's story, the way writing redeems the experience, tells the story, tells Owen's story. And also, I'm never letting my kids go river rafting.
February 6, 2017
A longer review is available on my blog:
http://reviewsofbooksonmynightstand.b...
The author is incredibly honest about how family members often feel towards those who try, or don't try, to comfort the survivors. The different ways in which Stephane, his wife, Alison, and son, Julian, grieve also show that everyone grieves differently but the most striking example of how some people grieve in different and confusing ways is how Stephane's father reacts to hearing Owen's name even years after the accident. While he remains silent and appears to want to erase Owen from the family's history, he still feels profound pain, as the author discovers when Stephane brings up Owen over lunch with his him. Through the pain of his loss, the author uses the words of past writers who have shared the experience of losing a child with the Gerson family. These words, intertwined with the wisdom of the author, are a comfort to those who have had the experience of losing a family member.
I received this book from Blogging for Books for this review.
http://reviewsofbooksonmynightstand.b...
The author is incredibly honest about how family members often feel towards those who try, or don't try, to comfort the survivors. The different ways in which Stephane, his wife, Alison, and son, Julian, grieve also show that everyone grieves differently but the most striking example of how some people grieve in different and confusing ways is how Stephane's father reacts to hearing Owen's name even years after the accident. While he remains silent and appears to want to erase Owen from the family's history, he still feels profound pain, as the author discovers when Stephane brings up Owen over lunch with his him. Through the pain of his loss, the author uses the words of past writers who have shared the experience of losing a child with the Gerson family. These words, intertwined with the wisdom of the author, are a comfort to those who have had the experience of losing a family member.
I received this book from Blogging for Books for this review.
April 8, 2017
I just finished reading Disaster Falls and feel completely humbled by the experience. What are the words to say “thank you” to Stephane Gerson for sharing his family's “courageous” journey that they never wanted to take? His eloquence and bravery in his writing left me breathless. I feel much gratitude to him for what he has revealed to us about his family's challenges learning to carry on after their precious son's death.
I honestly think the New York Times review was extremely cruel and cannot begin to see any validity in it. None at all. To me, the book is perfect in every way of expressing the inexpressible. I can’t possibly imagine that anything else would have been as perfect, except if the book had never had to be written.
This book is a gift to all of us as parents and children of parents, who have struggled to make a life for ourselves after surviving any number of life's tragedies. Thank you to the author and his family for opening our hearts to their world.
I honestly think the New York Times review was extremely cruel and cannot begin to see any validity in it. None at all. To me, the book is perfect in every way of expressing the inexpressible. I can’t possibly imagine that anything else would have been as perfect, except if the book had never had to be written.
This book is a gift to all of us as parents and children of parents, who have struggled to make a life for ourselves after surviving any number of life's tragedies. Thank you to the author and his family for opening our hearts to their world.
March 15, 2017
A heart-wrenching memoir of loss, grief, guilt, and pain as a father re-counts the tragedy of losing his eight year old son. What was supposed to be a fun family trip soon turned into a nightmare when their youngest son drowned while kayaking on the Green River. Almost numb with pain, the author recounts with clarifying and insightful detail the emotions (or sometimes lack thereof) experienced by him, his wife, and their only remaining child. Spanning over the course of a few years, this memoir is a glimpse into the tragedy that many families experience everyday. A wonderful, but heart breaking memoir that beneficial for everyone to read. Not everyone experiences grief the same way and reading this will help readers with that cold hard fact.
February 18, 2017
In this evocative memoir, Stephane Gerson, a French studies professor, relates the story of his 8-year old son, Owen, who was drowned by rapids during a family rafting trip in Utah in 2008. The book starts with the immediate aftermath of the accident and continues throughout the next several years detailing the ways in which unbearable grief ravages Gerson, his wife Allison, and their 11 year old son, Julian.
This is a personal account of loss, one in which the griever is able to relate the depths of his personal pain, while also using his observant academic's eye to document the ways in which our culture reacts to the death of a child. Over the course of his grieving, Gerson also examines the history of rafting in Utah, as well as the history of his family's experiences during the Holocaust. He looks at the ways in which decisions build upon one another, leading to the ordinary, the catastrophic, and the blessed events of our lives. Even though the cultural and historical observations provide some respite for the readers, the sadness of Owen's death never ceases to exist. It descends upon the reader in the first page and remains throughout the last few words.
The presence of sorrow throughout the book might be, in part, because Gerson doesn't try to find a "reason" for his son's death, a larger meaning that gives the experience some lesson for the rest of us. For Gerson, Owen's life ended too soon, and that's that. It is what it is. And it's excruciatingly painful.
I recommend this book for anyone who has experienced the loss of a child--through death or through a debilitating, life-altering illness. I found that Gerson's account of he and his wife's emotional isolation to be cathartic. Parental grief is overwhelming; no one can experience the loss like the parents can, and yet the two people who can most understand each other's pain are so debilitated that they often cannot provide the solace that they so desperately need. Gerson relates the loneliness of this experience with such raw, authentic emotion that his account becomes a type of welcoming cradle for those suffering from similar alienation.
This is a personal account of loss, one in which the griever is able to relate the depths of his personal pain, while also using his observant academic's eye to document the ways in which our culture reacts to the death of a child. Over the course of his grieving, Gerson also examines the history of rafting in Utah, as well as the history of his family's experiences during the Holocaust. He looks at the ways in which decisions build upon one another, leading to the ordinary, the catastrophic, and the blessed events of our lives. Even though the cultural and historical observations provide some respite for the readers, the sadness of Owen's death never ceases to exist. It descends upon the reader in the first page and remains throughout the last few words.
The presence of sorrow throughout the book might be, in part, because Gerson doesn't try to find a "reason" for his son's death, a larger meaning that gives the experience some lesson for the rest of us. For Gerson, Owen's life ended too soon, and that's that. It is what it is. And it's excruciatingly painful.
I recommend this book for anyone who has experienced the loss of a child--through death or through a debilitating, life-altering illness. I found that Gerson's account of he and his wife's emotional isolation to be cathartic. Parental grief is overwhelming; no one can experience the loss like the parents can, and yet the two people who can most understand each other's pain are so debilitated that they often cannot provide the solace that they so desperately need. Gerson relates the loneliness of this experience with such raw, authentic emotion that his account becomes a type of welcoming cradle for those suffering from similar alienation.
February 9, 2017
I'm not actually sure how, as a reader, I can rate with stars this book. How do you judge a book by a man who has lost a child? Do you look at the writing style? Or maybe the degree of sorrow the man shows and the amount of contrition he displays when writing about a son - 8 years old - lost in a river rafting accident while on a family vacation? In "Disaster Falls: A Family Story", Stephane Gerson gives the reader a bit of how his family dealt with young Owen's death.
Books about the loss of a child seem to be as old as the printed page. The most famous one I can remember is John Gunther's short, sweeping book, "Death Be Not Proud", written after the death of his teenage son, Johnny, from a brain tumor. (It's startling to think that had young John Gunther lived, he'd be well over 85 years old now.) Both elegies to dead sons, Gunther's looks at the last few years of Johnny's life and his death, while Gerson's is about Owen's accidental death in 2008 and the next few years as his family deals with the loss.
Owen Gerson was the younger of two sons of Alison and Stephane Gerson. A loving and close family - I slightly knew Alison's mother, Gay, and I remember when Owen was killed - his parents and older brother moved forward, each mourning in different ways. He also writes about the accident itself, putting snippets out until he chooses to cover it in one long chapter. We learn the history of Disaster Falls and those who were killed or injured while going over it, and also about the rafting companies who market and run these trips for "families". But most of the book is about Owen, the author's son, with a part about Stephane Gerson's father, who dies a few years later.
Stephane Gerson's book is not an easy read, though it is an honest picture of a man and his family mourning the loss of son.
Books about the loss of a child seem to be as old as the printed page. The most famous one I can remember is John Gunther's short, sweeping book, "Death Be Not Proud", written after the death of his teenage son, Johnny, from a brain tumor. (It's startling to think that had young John Gunther lived, he'd be well over 85 years old now.) Both elegies to dead sons, Gunther's looks at the last few years of Johnny's life and his death, while Gerson's is about Owen's accidental death in 2008 and the next few years as his family deals with the loss.
Owen Gerson was the younger of two sons of Alison and Stephane Gerson. A loving and close family - I slightly knew Alison's mother, Gay, and I remember when Owen was killed - his parents and older brother moved forward, each mourning in different ways. He also writes about the accident itself, putting snippets out until he chooses to cover it in one long chapter. We learn the history of Disaster Falls and those who were killed or injured while going over it, and also about the rafting companies who market and run these trips for "families". But most of the book is about Owen, the author's son, with a part about Stephane Gerson's father, who dies a few years later.
Stephane Gerson's book is not an easy read, though it is an honest picture of a man and his family mourning the loss of son.
November 20, 2016
This is a very difficult book to evaluate, and even more to recommend to a target audience. It's about a family losing their eight-year-old son, Owen, during a rafting trip. For people who have children, this is their nightmare. For people who have lost a child, this may be too much to bear.
That being said, this is a poignant exploration of loss, grief, and moving on without a part of your heart. Stephane Gerson shares his son with the world, chronicling his short life, his heartbreaking death, and the way the family's relationship with Owen adapts as they move forward. His comparison between Owen's death and his father's is striking, yet reinforces the truth that all loss is painful and difficult, whether sudden or expected.
Gerson mainly uses his own memories and perspective. But he does share some of Allison and Julian's experiences in their journeys through this pain, as mother and brother to Owen. This family's honesty and bravery is remarkable.
My thanks to Library Thing and the publisher for an advanced copy in exchange for an honest review.
That being said, this is a poignant exploration of loss, grief, and moving on without a part of your heart. Stephane Gerson shares his son with the world, chronicling his short life, his heartbreaking death, and the way the family's relationship with Owen adapts as they move forward. His comparison between Owen's death and his father's is striking, yet reinforces the truth that all loss is painful and difficult, whether sudden or expected.
Gerson mainly uses his own memories and perspective. But he does share some of Allison and Julian's experiences in their journeys through this pain, as mother and brother to Owen. This family's honesty and bravery is remarkable.
My thanks to Library Thing and the publisher for an advanced copy in exchange for an honest review.
May 15, 2017
A narcissistic parent compares enduring the (truly tragic) loss of his child to surviving the holocaust, and sticks the rafting company that he voluntarily signed up with all of the blame. Guy, when you bring your 8-year-old son along to raft class III rapids, it's disingenuous to subsequently divest yourself of blame after your kid drowns. You're a highly-educated, wealthy college professor and the internet was, like, right there. Equipment fails. Duckies turn over. You can't protect your children from every risk or threat but you can maybe lengthen their lives by not bringing them directly to an activity that is sought after precisely because of its adrenaline-pumping, dangerous nature.
The writing itself is stolid and drab. I sympathize for the loss, I do, even if the author seems unlikeable and oblivious, but this is nevertheless not a well-written (or organized or edited) book.
The writing itself is stolid and drab. I sympathize for the loss, I do, even if the author seems unlikeable and oblivious, but this is nevertheless not a well-written (or organized or edited) book.
September 23, 2016
I would give this an almost four stars. I was a goodreads giveaway winner of the arc book. It is a very difficult book to read because of the subject. Disaster Falls. A Family Story. is about a family dealing with the accidental death of their eight year old son Owen. The family went on a vacation they went rafting, in the area called "Disaster Fall" their son Owen tragically fell out of the "ducky" they were riding in and drowned. This book is what happened after. The first year than the years to come. The author writes about losing a child so young. how others reacted. How they went on over the years and how Horrible it is to lose a child. This is a tough one to read. The worst thing that can happen to a person happened to this family.
February 6, 2017
I have read a lot of memoirs over the years with a parent writing about the loss of a child. The child here is the author's eight year old son who drowns in a river rafting accident. The book is very depressing with the author micro analyzing every single aspect from the incident itself to several years afterward as he, his wife and other son struggle to cope. If this isn't enough the author takes a trip to Europe to relive his families' holocaust experience and the for good measure he juxtaposes his son's quick death with several chapters about his father's lengthy struggle and death with cancer. The book was probably good therapy for the author but the only audience I see for it is a parent suffering from the recent death of a child.
December 13, 2016
Thank you LibraryThing.com for providing me with an ARC of this searing and beautiful memoir.
I knew reading this book would be sad but I was not prepared for the emotional pain and heartbreak this book caused. Told honestly, without fancy words or flowery prose the author created a moving and powerful exploration of moving forward and wrestling with grief. I was immersed in this family's pain and appreciated the honesty and grace that the author so eloquently shared.
I know many will not want to subject themselves to reading such a horrific tragedy but there is some real joy in the story as well.
I knew reading this book would be sad but I was not prepared for the emotional pain and heartbreak this book caused. Told honestly, without fancy words or flowery prose the author created a moving and powerful exploration of moving forward and wrestling with grief. I was immersed in this family's pain and appreciated the honesty and grace that the author so eloquently shared.
I know many will not want to subject themselves to reading such a horrific tragedy but there is some real joy in the story as well.
January 8, 2017
DISASTER FALLS is a memoir that deals with the author’s personal experiences with loss and grief. Told with such honesty, you’re transported into the author’s shoes as he deals with the guilt, the anger, and his needs to help him deal with a tragedy. Definitely an eye-opening read for those who’ve been fortunate enough not to experience such sadness. My thanks to First to Read for the advance reader copy…
September 17, 2016
This book is about Owen and his family. Owen dies in an accident while family is on vacation. The dad is writing this book to aid in healing. Would suggest it to all who have lost a child to see how one family copes with such a loss. One never gets over the death of a child but can survive the loss. Thanks to Goodreads.
February 24, 2017
I won this Free book through Goodreads First Reads.
A personal story of love, loss and grief of an eight year old boy.
It's a beautifully written book, making the reader feel better for listening to what the author had to say.
A personal story of love, loss and grief of an eight year old boy.
It's a beautifully written book, making the reader feel better for listening to what the author had to say.
February 21, 2017
I won this book in a giveaway. I didn't like the book until about halfway through & by the end I was crying.
February 7, 2017
Absolutely heart-wrenching, but thoughtful and deep account of life after an unspeakable personal tragedy.
May 27, 2017
I first found out about this book through one of those publisher's samplers they put together each season. The sample chapter (which I'm not sure made it into the final book in the same form) was compelling and poignant. I don't generally read books like this - just not my general area of interest. But the sample chapter really grabbed me and I requested it from the library.
When I received it and started to read it, it didn't seem like the book in the sample chapter. The story was definitely the same, but I didn't feel the same pull.
The Gerson family has undoubtedly been through a terrible tragedy, losing their son, Owen, on a family vacation. And I admire Stéphane for writing about it in such an honest and reflective manner. One of the reasons I was interested in Disaster Falls (and something his son, Julian, echoes in the book) is that books about the loss of a child and the subsequent grieving process aren't often written by men. So I was keen to see how this book would be.
It's written in a non-chronological manner which can be jarring. Ostensibly, the book is structured around questions that the Gerson's received from friends and classmates of their son, Owen. These start each chapter and provide a (very) loose theme.
Minor spoilers ahead ...
I did find the book a little repetitive. And I don't really know how I feel about the multiple chapters about his stormy relationship with his father and his father's subsequent death. That wasn't why I initially wanted to read this book and these sections came as a big surprise/disappointment/distraction. And the night after I read those chapters, I had nightmares about my stormy relationship with my own father. So that is definitely colouring my opinion here (though perhaps that is the sign of an excellent writer - that he can worm his way into my subconscious).
I don't know that I enjoyed this book (are you supposed to enjoy books about the loss of a child and the grief of a family?); and I don't know if I'm glad I read it, but I'm not sorry I read it. I think it took true courage and presence to write this book and share your grief raw with the world. And I appreciated Stéphane's style - the non-chronological nature didn't really bother me. Some of the most interesting parts of the book were about Julian and Stéphane's wife Alison and their reactions and grief processes.
If you have struggled with grief or are interested in first-person accounts of the grieving process, this is worth the read.
When I received it and started to read it, it didn't seem like the book in the sample chapter. The story was definitely the same, but I didn't feel the same pull.
The Gerson family has undoubtedly been through a terrible tragedy, losing their son, Owen, on a family vacation. And I admire Stéphane for writing about it in such an honest and reflective manner. One of the reasons I was interested in Disaster Falls (and something his son, Julian, echoes in the book) is that books about the loss of a child and the subsequent grieving process aren't often written by men. So I was keen to see how this book would be.
It's written in a non-chronological manner which can be jarring. Ostensibly, the book is structured around questions that the Gerson's received from friends and classmates of their son, Owen. These start each chapter and provide a (very) loose theme.
Minor spoilers ahead ...
I did find the book a little repetitive. And I don't really know how I feel about the multiple chapters about his stormy relationship with his father and his father's subsequent death. That wasn't why I initially wanted to read this book and these sections came as a big surprise/disappointment/distraction. And the night after I read those chapters, I had nightmares about my stormy relationship with my own father. So that is definitely colouring my opinion here (though perhaps that is the sign of an excellent writer - that he can worm his way into my subconscious).
I don't know that I enjoyed this book (are you supposed to enjoy books about the loss of a child and the grief of a family?); and I don't know if I'm glad I read it, but I'm not sorry I read it. I think it took true courage and presence to write this book and share your grief raw with the world. And I appreciated Stéphane's style - the non-chronological nature didn't really bother me. Some of the most interesting parts of the book were about Julian and Stéphane's wife Alison and their reactions and grief processes.
If you have struggled with grief or are interested in first-person accounts of the grieving process, this is worth the read.
January 13, 2018
I found this book and the writer's style to be haunting. It's a story of a family whose 8-year-old son dies in a whitewater rafting accident. The narrative, which moves around chronologically, details the events leading up to the fatal trip as well as the aftermath. Written a number of years after the event, the author, Prof. Stephane Gerson, has had time to analyze so many things surrounding his son Owen's death, and his sense of self-recrimination created a visceral ache for me. And, that's rare: I've had the desensitization that occurs from being a journalist. If you're thinking about picking this one up, be careful, particularly if you are a parent.
July 16, 2021
Really well-written and thought out, but difficult and depressing. It was a good study in grief and forgiveness.
April 10, 2017
Harrowing account of the death of a child and the aftermath the family endures.
July 10, 2017
https://novelsandnonfiction.com/2017/...
Why You Shouldn’t Read It
This title definitely isn’t as popular as the two previous ones in this post, but I ended up picking it as one of my Blogging For Books selections a few months ago. Again, it may seem weird that I’m attracted to such harrowing storylines – this is a book after all about a family’s loss of a child by drowning – but there’s something elemental to the human experience when people are faced with such an extreme event that draws me in. There certainly was a lot to learn about love, loss and family in this book, and I think in its essence it would be very valuable to someone going through a similar experience of grief.
However, I have to be honest that for someone like me, who luckily hasn’t recently dealt with a loss of this magnitude, the book was just too sad and depressing. I guess it’s unfair to expect that this kind of factual narrative could have an uplifting angle or some kind of positive resolution – something you maybe might expect in a novel with this kind of storyline. The author, Stephane Gerson, father of the young Owen who drowned on the Green River, doesn’t pull any punches when he details the stages of his feelings after his loss and the effect of the events on his other child and his wife. It was just much too sad to witness because the entire book was focused on the emptiness left behind and the disorder and unfamiliarity of Stephane and his wife’s life in Owen’s absence.
It didn’t help that the structure of the book was disjointed, going back and forth through time and often causing the writing to become repetitive. Gerson also writes in a long-winded and circuitous manner that may come from his background as a historian. By the end of the book you’re desperate for some kind of resolution, some lifting of spirits or changing of perspective that may be unrealistic but that it is also very human to hope for. Instead there’s an additional loss which happens in a way that does add to the reflection on what life and death mean within the book, but that also is like an extra sucker punch to the gut for the reader.
I feel like a bad person for not having liked this book, but I think that it’s really only for people who have had a similar experience and are looking to see their feelings mirrored in Gerson’s account, or maybe for those who for whatever reason need to read something really depressing. I’ve read books about people escaping from polygamist cults, coroners dealing with murder victims and experiences of people who died or lost relatives during 9/11, but somehow none of them felt as unremittingly sad as this book.
Final Verdict
Sad, depressing and clumsily written but honest account of the grief following the accidental death of a child, most likely best suited for those unfortunately experiencing a similar loss.
Why You Shouldn’t Read It
This title definitely isn’t as popular as the two previous ones in this post, but I ended up picking it as one of my Blogging For Books selections a few months ago. Again, it may seem weird that I’m attracted to such harrowing storylines – this is a book after all about a family’s loss of a child by drowning – but there’s something elemental to the human experience when people are faced with such an extreme event that draws me in. There certainly was a lot to learn about love, loss and family in this book, and I think in its essence it would be very valuable to someone going through a similar experience of grief.
However, I have to be honest that for someone like me, who luckily hasn’t recently dealt with a loss of this magnitude, the book was just too sad and depressing. I guess it’s unfair to expect that this kind of factual narrative could have an uplifting angle or some kind of positive resolution – something you maybe might expect in a novel with this kind of storyline. The author, Stephane Gerson, father of the young Owen who drowned on the Green River, doesn’t pull any punches when he details the stages of his feelings after his loss and the effect of the events on his other child and his wife. It was just much too sad to witness because the entire book was focused on the emptiness left behind and the disorder and unfamiliarity of Stephane and his wife’s life in Owen’s absence.
It didn’t help that the structure of the book was disjointed, going back and forth through time and often causing the writing to become repetitive. Gerson also writes in a long-winded and circuitous manner that may come from his background as a historian. By the end of the book you’re desperate for some kind of resolution, some lifting of spirits or changing of perspective that may be unrealistic but that it is also very human to hope for. Instead there’s an additional loss which happens in a way that does add to the reflection on what life and death mean within the book, but that also is like an extra sucker punch to the gut for the reader.
I feel like a bad person for not having liked this book, but I think that it’s really only for people who have had a similar experience and are looking to see their feelings mirrored in Gerson’s account, or maybe for those who for whatever reason need to read something really depressing. I’ve read books about people escaping from polygamist cults, coroners dealing with murder victims and experiences of people who died or lost relatives during 9/11, but somehow none of them felt as unremittingly sad as this book.
Final Verdict
Sad, depressing and clumsily written but honest account of the grief following the accidental death of a child, most likely best suited for those unfortunately experiencing a similar loss.
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