What do you think?
Rate this book
thirty-three
“Welcome to Hellywood! Some like it hot!”
wisecracks graffiti on a freeway’s wall;
“Abandon hope you dopes who drive by Christ!”
bawls a billboard outside a bricked-up church;
“No body? You’re nobody!” muscles in
a sweating gym on Sodom and Inferno;
“Hey, you’re a winner if you’re getting thinner,”
shills hype outside a liposuction doc.
That’s Hollywood! A smog of lies and greed
between the desert’s and the ocean’s sands,
where the sun shines three hundred days a year,
and heaven-sent beauty hell-bent on fame
trades soul and body for a speaking-role...
* * *
thirty-three is an R-rated “screenplay in verse” for a movie that will never be made; that is, unless you watch it in your mind’s eye.
In its thirty-three moments of love, it tells of a passionate and disturbed affair between a film director and a famous actress in Hollywood, where love is just the price you pay to get some fame, and “MGM” rhymes with “phlegm”.
Alternately bitterly cynical and intensely lyrical, thirty-three tells a story never to be told, the real identities of whose protagonists must forever remain secret.
thirty-three is Jaxy’s scandalous expose of the secret world at the heart of Hollywood.
* * *
When darkness pours the ocean of the moon
over the dunes of deserts without water,
the crushed seashells of the sand hear the sea,
and the dead dream of the night without morning.
When sorrow drums the conga of the moon
above the bitter tides of sugar-cane,
the coffins of the slave-ships sail the fields,
and the dead drag their chains of rusted tears.
When shadows spin the dollar of the moon
over the Capitols where wars are made,
men squeal as their soft throats are slit like pigs,
and pork is dressed as glory, greed as good.
When midnight hangs the clock-face of the moon
above the crowded centuries of death,
graves rise like islands from the infinite,
and, as you walk the wind, I cry your name.
Anna, Anna, Anna...
wisecracks graffiti on a freeway’s wall;
“Abandon hope you dopes who drive by Christ!”
bawls a billboard outside a bricked-up church;
“No body? You’re nobody!” muscles in
a sweating gym on Sodom and Inferno;
“Hey, you’re a winner if you’re getting thinner,”
shills hype outside a liposuction doc.
That’s Hollywood! A smog of lies and greed
between the desert’s and the ocean’s sands,
where the sun shines three hundred days a year,
and heaven-sent beauty hell-bent on fame
trades soul and body for a speaking-role...
* * *
thirty-three is an R-rated “screenplay in verse” for a movie that will never be made; that is, unless you watch it in your mind’s eye.
In its thirty-three moments of love, it tells of a passionate and disturbed affair between a film director and a famous actress in Hollywood, where love is just the price you pay to get some fame, and “MGM” rhymes with “phlegm”.
Alternately bitterly cynical and intensely lyrical, thirty-three tells a story never to be told, the real identities of whose protagonists must forever remain secret.
thirty-three is Jaxy’s scandalous expose of the secret world at the heart of Hollywood.
* * *
When darkness pours the ocean of the moon
over the dunes of deserts without water,
the crushed seashells of the sand hear the sea,
and the dead dream of the night without morning.
When sorrow drums the conga of the moon
above the bitter tides of sugar-cane,
the coffins of the slave-ships sail the fields,
and the dead drag their chains of rusted tears.
When shadows spin the dollar of the moon
over the Capitols where wars are made,
men squeal as their soft throats are slit like pigs,
and pork is dressed as glory, greed as good.
When midnight hangs the clock-face of the moon
above the crowded centuries of death,
graves rise like islands from the infinite,
and, as you walk the wind, I cry your name.
Anna, Anna, Anna...
- GenresPoetry
64 pages, Paperback
Published April 1, 2016
About the author
Jaxy Mono
7 books79 followersJaxy Mono - the world famous “monkey with a typewriter” and the creator of “monkey lit” - is a highly intelligent tail-less Barbary Ape (Macaca sylvanus) from Europe’s only population of wild monkeys in Gibraltar.
As a young member of Gunnery Battery Troop, Jaxy (pronounced JAKH-see) had many opportunities to observe human behaviour and language close-up at the Apes’ Den. Jaxy then completed his education by stowing away in a tourist’s rucksack and traveling the world.
Jaxy creates his works by tapping, apparently at random, on the screen of a “borrowed” (i.e. stolen) iPad. Jaxy also thieves cameras, and he is a keen film-maker. His six hour documentary study of his left foot has won major prizes at several international film festivals.
Outside his artistic endeavours, Jaxy likes beer, bananas and his babies; and he dislikes fleas, being paid in peanuts, and zoos. His hobbies include foraging, grooming, rooting through trash-cans, and playing tag with his offspring.
Despite overwhelming scientific evidence to the contrary, Jaxy doesn’t believe in evolution, as he simply can’t accept that he is descended from creatures as primitive as human beings; especially Creationists.
Jaxy Mono has asserted his inalienable moral right to be identified as the author of his works; and anybody who asserts otherwise will be nipped on the butt.
Hard.
As a young member of Gunnery Battery Troop, Jaxy (pronounced JAKH-see) had many opportunities to observe human behaviour and language close-up at the Apes’ Den. Jaxy then completed his education by stowing away in a tourist’s rucksack and traveling the world.
Jaxy creates his works by tapping, apparently at random, on the screen of a “borrowed” (i.e. stolen) iPad. Jaxy also thieves cameras, and he is a keen film-maker. His six hour documentary study of his left foot has won major prizes at several international film festivals.
Outside his artistic endeavours, Jaxy likes beer, bananas and his babies; and he dislikes fleas, being paid in peanuts, and zoos. His hobbies include foraging, grooming, rooting through trash-cans, and playing tag with his offspring.
Despite overwhelming scientific evidence to the contrary, Jaxy doesn’t believe in evolution, as he simply can’t accept that he is descended from creatures as primitive as human beings; especially Creationists.
Jaxy Mono has asserted his inalienable moral right to be identified as the author of his works; and anybody who asserts otherwise will be nipped on the butt.
Hard.
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 11 of 11 reviews
Read
October 20, 2017Won in the Goodreads Giveaways
May 12, 2016
I hate to describe things as powerful because it always sounds pretentious as if it should be on the front of some dime a dozen thriller but honestly this was just that in the end. I sat expecting a very light hearted commentry on hollywood and yes I got that but at poem 21 it really turned into something more... human, maybe?.
These are many many highlighted sections of witty and poignant lines alternatively that I think I shall return to many times for a wry smile or a touch of jaded advice. Needless to say this little book shall grace my shelfs for years to come.
Some of my favourite lines:
"stretch your dreams along my lifeline's path
and when I close my fingers to a fist
I hold my universe within my grip"
"money doesn't talk in hollywood
it shouts and waves its testicles about
and so we're filming drivel word for word"
"but you alone are always only you"
These are many many highlighted sections of witty and poignant lines alternatively that I think I shall return to many times for a wry smile or a touch of jaded advice. Needless to say this little book shall grace my shelfs for years to come.
Some of my favourite lines:
"stretch your dreams along my lifeline's path
and when I close my fingers to a fist
I hold my universe within my grip"
"money doesn't talk in hollywood
it shouts and waves its testicles about
and so we're filming drivel word for word"
"but you alone are always only you"
May 11, 2016
I received this book for free via Goodreads First Reads.
First of all despite the claims on the cover and in the blurb this book was not written by Barbary Ape. It was written by another species of ape.
It is a dark story told with humour and emotion written in verse. I admire the writing and how it fits together. The story is well told and believable. I feel it lacks a little in characterisation but it flows well. I enjoyed but did not love the read.
I would recommend it to future poets and fans of poetry. You can write a story using poetry and this is a good one!
First of all despite the claims on the cover and in the blurb this book was not written by Barbary Ape. It was written by another species of ape.
It is a dark story told with humour and emotion written in verse. I admire the writing and how it fits together. The story is well told and believable. I feel it lacks a little in characterisation but it flows well. I enjoyed but did not love the read.
I would recommend it to future poets and fans of poetry. You can write a story using poetry and this is a good one!
December 25, 2016
I won this in a Goodreads giveaway.
This book is a compilation of 33 poems that fit together to create a tragic but beautiful story of love and fame in Hollywood. It had me laughing at some of the darker humour within but also pining for the characters and connecting with the story as it's just so real. Completely unique never read anything like it, and the actual poems themselves were full of descriptive imagery that left me in awe. Beautiful fast read, only reason it hasn't been rated higher is I did sometimes find myself distracted by all the poetic techniques from the story behind it.
This book is a compilation of 33 poems that fit together to create a tragic but beautiful story of love and fame in Hollywood. It had me laughing at some of the darker humour within but also pining for the characters and connecting with the story as it's just so real. Completely unique never read anything like it, and the actual poems themselves were full of descriptive imagery that left me in awe. Beautiful fast read, only reason it hasn't been rated higher is I did sometimes find myself distracted by all the poetic techniques from the story behind it.
June 5, 2016
I loved it! It is very entertaining and original. I love when an author can make scandal, cynicism, and a love story work in one volume. You have to read from cover to cover and then turn around and read again - you will be asking yourself who is Jaxy Mono as much as you will enjoy the book. I will watch for other works by this author. A good read.
January 26, 2017
Ive just finished this fascinating book of poems won in a Goodreads giveaway. I had no idea what to expect but I thoroughly enjoyed this dark but very humorous book and I found myself reading some of the verses more than once they were so poignant and well written. Well done Jaxy Mono, I am now about to start on Zootopia
January 3, 2017
Won as a Goodreads Giveaway, thank you!
I absolutely loved this, the introduction made me think I was heading into a farce of poetry. But once I started with the verse I loved it. Very dark and very humorous - I especially enjoyed the last 10 or so poems.
I absolutely loved this, the introduction made me think I was heading into a farce of poetry. But once I started with the verse I loved it. Very dark and very humorous - I especially enjoyed the last 10 or so poems.
May 31, 2017
This was a giveaway book and I read it in one sitting. It was just ok for me, I really couldn't get along with the concept of how it was written though in verse and set out like a screenplay. It contains 33 moments of "Love" between a film director and a actress in Hollywood.
May 16, 2016
Competition winner on good reads
September 12, 2016
Won from goodreads
Written in rhyme quick read about an affair with a director and an actress
Written in rhyme quick read about an affair with a director and an actress
October 3, 2016
I won this book on a goodread giveaway. Quirky black humour novelle on poetry .
An easy quick read with antedotes
An easy quick read with antedotes
Displaying 1 - 11 of 11 reviews